Sometimes, I find it hard to let go. Though there is already a clear line drawn in between, I can't help but emo when people try to go into his life and start afresh. On the other hand, I find it alright to do so on my side. I was just thinking about it and I realised I am a very selfish person! I seriously need to grow out of my immaturity soon before I let my emotions get over me. Ahhh... Uncle Ho was right, my greatest weak point is that I am too gan3 qing2 yong4 shi4 -_-
Sigh. Super emo now.
Sometimes, I feel that my parents are a little unappreciative, especially during this period of time when they want me to help do some minor make over for the house. My dad came back to Singapore recently but did not say anything about what he wants for the make over. However, every time I call them and update them about the things to be done, instead of showing some appreciation, they will come up with 'modifications' and get me to change certain things -_-''' If they have any suggestions, shouldn't they tell me all at a shot instead of making me go back to 50% when I am already close to 95% done ! Unfair isn't it?
I am working now, which means I'm only left with Saturday and Sunday. Church and polo take up my whole Sunday so I'm left with Sat. I seriously can't remember the last time I went out with my friends already! Oh well, week after week has been like this. Totally no life ever since I started helping them do this make over. The packing and un-packing is killing me. The cleaning up is torturous. I am really sick of doing all these.
Why am I the only doing it? Why must I always try so hard to please my parents?
Things seem so helpless cos my parents are not staying here and they can't do anything to help but to open their mouths and give me more crap each time I update them. Can I just give up and mind my own business? I really can't help but feel frustrated...
ARGH...
Oh man ! I'm super broke ! So sian. How I wished mom and dad are around :( Dear friends, please don't ask me out ok? I can't afford to now -_-'''
Oh man I really need to share this !!! I was admitted into Tan Tock Seng Hospital for the very first time on Tuesday morning at 935!
It all started with my greediness, having roast duck, char siew and roast pork rice with a few of my colleagues and their clients during lunch on Monday at around 1pm. Then I started to feel unwell at 4pm and died-ed in office. I took a little nap and felt super cold all of a sudden !!! The air-con temperature was adjusted to 26 degree celcius and I was still feeling damn cold -_- Then i ton all the way till 630pm and collapsed on my bed immediately upon reaching home.
Then at 430am, I woke up in cold sweat (Tues morning) and started having the runs. As I was about to get back to bed from the toilet, I saw black patches all over and felt super weak with my head spinning and burning. THE NEXT MOMENT WHEN I REGAIN CONSCIOUSNESS, I WAS SPRAWLED ON THE FLOOR LIKE THOSE MERMAIDS LYING ALONG THE BEACHES IN OUR OLD SCHOOL FAIRY TALES *ok la, just my wishful thinking of being a mermaid :p* After which I used every ounce of my energy to crawl to the shower before making a dash for my bed before I black out again.
At around 8am I woke up and sms-ed my colleagues that I was on MC and tried to bring myself to the toilet. And history almost repeated itself if not for Joseph!!! *Thank God!* I laid on the floor near the toilet with Joseph holding onto me on the other side and thought to myself, 'if I ever die, I really hope to go to heaven'. And with that, I started mumbling the Lord's prayer 10,000 times and kept telling myself only God can save me. *And you know what? I think it was probably cos of all that muttering in my semi-conscious state that made my brother thought that I was going berserk and needed to call for an ambulance. kekeke*
And so I was sent to Tan Tock Seng Hospital *actually I also don't know why they sent me to TTSH when I'm in fact staying right beside one -_-* Oh well, anyway, my blood pressure went down to 100/60 with heartbeat 200 and blood count 6.2!!! *damn it* Then somehow my blood pressure dropped further until the machine showed an ERROR signal and the paramedics were quite helpless for awhile. I was supposed to give my urine sample but I was like HELLO, SEMI-CONSCIOUS ???!!! And this stupid doctor was totally insensitive and annoying and insisted that I give him my urine sample despite my inability !!! *-_- I almost wanted to slap him*
Then I went around doing all the checks and was put on drip and I felt much better after 3 hours in the hospital. The doctor wanted me to stay in for a day, but given my strong reluctance and fast-recovery body, he finally told me I could be discharged at around 3pm! Haha. And my kind colleagues Wilson Tracy and Peiru came to visit me and sent me home !!! Hee... So much love !!! Woo...
But honestly, I really thank God that I'm alive and kicking now man. Kekeke :) The Lord's prayer helps! Haha. Please continue to pray for me man friends!!! :) :) :)
My da sao (aka Chau King) told me an incident at work today.
She was happily at work yesterday when she suddenly felt bored. So she went to check out my blog during office hours to ease her boredom. When she was about to click 'back' to go back to the previous web pages, she accidentally clicked 'print' instead and having jet laser printers in her office, my blog pages went ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM zooming out of her SHARED PRINTER. She flew all the way to the printer which was quite a far distance from her seat and pretended to be collecting documents from the printer, much to her embarrassment.
Up till this point of her narration, I was thinking to myself, "Hmm... I din know Ck had that much love for me". And I was living in this bubble UNTIL...
she told me due to her paiseh-ness, she SHREDDED MY BLOG PAGES WITH MY PICTURES ON IT without even taking a glimpse of them !
WAH PIANG !!! Damn it to the max... JI TAO IS NO LOVE...
:( :( :( Rarr...
Went sentosa yesterday with Wilson Gerald and Dennis. It was supposed to be a department outing but only the 4 of us turned up :( Oh well, we had a pretty fun game of beach volleyball with some new friends we made at the beach until a pro volleyball team came by and 'took over' the court... -_-''' ji tao no mood to play after they came and our pro Wilson left early.
And then when we were about to leave, Josephine and her bf popped by to say hi. Kekeke. Quite sweet of her to come all the way despite the long journey. After that we had dinner at Toa Payoh Crystal Jade and Swensen's ice-cream !!! Hee. Dennis and Gerald were super kind to drive me all the way to TP to collect my car from servicing. Hee...
And then I received a sms from Jeanne saying that they were going for crabs !!! And being the greedy me, I went to meet them after my sumptuous dinner and had yummy chilli crabs and creamy butter crabs !!! They were seriously good man, though not as good as the original one. But not bad la. Kekeke.
Think I'm growing fat man, looking at my diet. Sian... Yifen !!! Jio me go running !!! Haha :) :) :)
It's pretty good working in UOB actually. Haha. I get to leave my house at 8:50am and still reach work on time at 9am. No traffic jam, it's 5mins drive. With traffic jam, it's 10mins :p Kekeke. Shiok.
And it's like free parking outside office!!! And my handphone bill and petrol can be claimed back from company! Hehe. Seriously pretty good perks :)
And I'm super into this new song that I learnt.
Our God is an awesome God
He reigns from heaven above
With wisdom, power and love
Our God is an awesome God
Kekeke. It's called Awesome God by Rich Mullins :) :) :)
I'm starting work at UOB tomorrow !!! :( Sad... This would mark the end of my daily 12-hour sleep. BOO...
In 5 days' time, I'll be stepping into the working world !!! Surprisingly, I'm neither excited nor sad. Pretty neutral. I guess cos I'm sorta prepared for it already. Supposed to start on the 26th of May and I pushed it back all the way till 4th Aug. Really thankful that UOB allowed that cos the other 2 banks that I applied for wasn't too agreeable on pushing back the date. Hiak. Oh well, I wonder how my new working environment will be :)
I think I'll be super busy. Cos I'm trying to get someone to renovate my house too. And I guess all that hassle of getting reliable people n stuff would really take up a fair bit of my time. Rarr... I always need to do this kinda crap. Y doesn't my younger brother need to do it ? Life's unfair huh ??? Boo...
Anyway, I'm glad I interned at my church for a month. Though it's a really short time, I learnt a lot about how churches function and it was especially exciting working under a smart man like my pastor !!! Kekeke. And I went to run with da ge Marcus & Larry from Toa Payoh to Ang Mo Kio on Monday evening. Almost died. My legs were breaking and still aching now !!! Super unfit. Sigh... But I'm glad that I survived that ! Will be running from Woodlands near sports school area to Sembawang on Sunday ! Hee. I seriously need to lose weight.
And today we ate durians at da ge's house. So happy !!! Finally satisfied my durian craving thankfully before the durian season ends. Hee. Happy happy day !!! :)
This thing about friends & guys have been on my mind for awhile. I have been trying to understand and analyse them, treating them as research topics just like those that I worked on in my uni days and I seriously still can't fully comprehend these 2 subject matters ! I guess it's because the comprehension of anything related to the human heart is a complicated matter in the first place !
I will use the metaphor of a what I see marriage is to describe this whole thing about friends. And bearing in mind it's true friends that we are talking about !!! The honeymoon period will be when both parties are still emotionally attached and passionate about each other, those 'I love you' crap and stuff. And when the feelings die down for both parties, that's when commitment comes in and continue to hold the couple together. This commitment that they have made in their vows is so powerful that it allows both parties to witness and accept the flaws of their partners FOR LIFE. Of course, here I am assuming the ideal case of low divorce rates and the presence of careful selection of partners for the entire population.
Similarly in a friendship, people will find it easy to befriend someone whom they deem 'friendly' 'nice' 'decent looking' 'doesn't annoy the hell out of them' 'caring' 'sweet' 'humourous' 'entertaining' and whatever positive adjectives that adds on to the list. This is so-called the 'honeymoon period'. And after that comes the shit when you get to know the other party better, and true colours start to show. *HIAK HIAK* And such true friendship will stand when both parties agree to make that 'commitment' and accept each other's flaws and hideous side. *I'm not using the word 'ugly' cos it's not strong enough! haha* So even if your friend pisses u off for example and vice versa, the ability of accepting such crap will reveal whether it is a true friendship or not, just like the case of a test of a strong marriage.
And this thing about guys (age range 18-30), is it true that most of them (80%) are pretty desperate and probably immature that they jump upon any girl that comes along, satisfying their physical or emotional needs that they've so yearned for? And this I'm not just referring to the physical aspect, but also the emotional and psychological parts where they easily fall for girls who can give them the kind of attention that they needed at the right point of time, boost their ego by making them feel so wanted and high above everyone etc. And that's when the terms wives-to-be, gf-but-not-wife material and flings come up, but I guess most guys would enjoy very much the last option huh?
Flirting around here and there, getting all that attention etc and when there is no longer anymore feelings (and I'm still not sure if there indeed had been true feelings involved in the first place), the guy will cut off the current girl and crap about certain commitments that he has or probably use NS (typical of Singaporean guys) as 1 of their excuses before he starts preying on a new target/targets who is/are able to create that 'fresh-feeling' again.
Seriously, sometimes, I feel that guys have far underestimated the capabilities of the women population. They THINK they are playing the game very well, but they've neglected the fact that women are actually also great intellectual beings that God has created! Wouldn't it be a wonderful thing if guys can just show some respect and REFLECT on their selfish acts of causing hurt to the other gender population and learn to be more considerate? And it might be a smart choice to adopt this before women start to rise up and let these guys have a taste of their own medicine.
Hmm, or issit happening already?
I'll be going to JB with Marcus Edison n Yingchao next Mon and Tues! Hah... Can't wait man. All the yummy nice seafood and great shopping ! Hehe... Don't miss me friends! Kekeke. *I know you will* :p
It was my commencement aka convo yesterday afternoon at University Cultural Centre at NUS :) I'm so happy I went upstage and collected my 3 years of hard work, all in a sheet of paper -_- Wahaha. Mom and dad flew back from Hong Kong and attended the ceremony. Joseph was quite fortunate too cause we managed to painstakingly get an extra invitation card from our friend's sister after a bit of hassle here and there and Edison also got us super good seats in front near the stage! Kekeke. I just wanna say a very big thank you to all my friends :) :) :) Thanks so much for all your help throughout my tertiary education !!! Haha. *emo speech*
Happy Family !!! :)
The sisters !!! Kekeke.
Beloved Joseph :)
Bitchy Gang !!!
Bitches again !!! :)
I'm so happy !!! Haha...
I went for church camp at Bukit Tinggi, Pahang in Malaysia from 8-11 June ! Our hotel was like a castle lo ! Haha. Super nice place and I was in Pastor Joseph's group. Through all these interaction with him, I realised I get to know him better not just as a pastor, but also as a spiritual father, as a friend. Interaction i.e. communication is indeed important to keep any sort of relationship (be it friendship, bgr, kinship) bonded. *This reaffirms what I've always believed in. Without communication, there is no relationship to talk about* Once there is communication breakdown, the relationship will be more susceptible to external 'attacks' and will not be able to withstand hardships.
Beautiful Castle !!!
At rabbit farm :)
Beautiful night lights
Through this church camp, one thing that I've got out of is that, in order to follow Christ, I need to 'get my feet dirty'. And to me, it means seriously putting my desires into actions. No point thinking of wanting to draw closer to God yet I keep my hands folded close to my chest ! Hence, I took a step of faith (I don't know if that's really called faith or mere blind faith!) and went for the China mission trip to Kunming with my church from 22-29 June. I have no idea why I went, and I didn't know how I went about signing up as well. But after the trip, what I got was, here in Singapore, people are indeed blessed yet they have no idea how fortunate they are compared to those in other parts of the world. I was telling Jacintha that I feel I've finally opened my eyes and 'grown up' in that few days when we were in China.
Beautiful sunset in Kunming !
At the village...
The kitchens of many villagers. This is considered pretty alright already. We have not seen worse ones yet.
After an afternoon of Captain's Ball, here's presenting to all - The Meng Yang Church!
At the leprosy village...
Embracing their culture !!! Haha...
Stone Forest of Kunming !!!
Lunch at Kunming fried rice place. One plate of fried rice is RMB6 = S$1.20. And the plate of rice is seriously HUGE...
A very enriching trip indeed !!!
Australia was super fun !!! After our match, me Xiu and Ade went to stay on in Cairns and Melbourne. 
On our way to Australia at Changi Airport !!!
At one of Australia's beautiful beaches :)
The Women's Water Polo Team !!!
At Mount Tambourine. Ooo...
In the van!!!
On our way to Cairns :) :) :)
On our way for Quad Biking!
Dirty shoes from Quad Biking! Kekeke.
Scuba Diving :)
Preparing for White Water Rafting. Hehe.
I am totally burnt from this trip man -_- But it was really fun !!! Especially with my 2 retarded friends around... Kekeke :p Then we went Melbourne!!! Wahaha, and we stayed at Shauna's apartment :)
Outside Shauna's apartment :)
Beautiful Melbourne !!!
At the tram station :)
Yummy Italian food !!! Kekeke...
Beautiful sunrise on my way back to Singapore :)
It was such a nice and wonderful trip !!! Hehe...
Dear friends,
I'll be going to Brisbane tomorrow for the Australian Water Polo Open till 1st June. Then, I'll be going to Cairns and Melbourne with Ade and Xiu for diving and shopping !!! Kekeke. So excited :) :) :) Will be back on the 6th ! Do sms me if you guys want anything from Australia ok? No promises though !!! Hehe.
Love love,
-jacchow-
I really don't understand what's wrong with people who just enjoy annoying the hell out of others. Forever thinking that they are freaking smart and saying things without using their f***ing brains. Seriously, if you are that smart, then why end up in those f***** up schools that you were in? And even for those who have always been in top schools, you f***ing have zero EQ can?! So stop being arrogant and condescending!!! F***ing dumb asses who just get people pissed off with them. HOW SMART CAN THAT BE ???!!!
And being in the sales line for 3.5 years, one thing we hate most is the 'snatching' of other people's customers. (Any salesman would tell you this.) I've seen so many freaking quarrels because of this and I seriously HATE it. So when I work with new partners, I will definitely lay down some 'ground rules' so that we jing3 shui3 bu4 fan4 he2 shui3. Yet I had to witness that right in my very own water polo team. I mean, that would be the last place I would ever expect to see this kinda act!!! There's no incentive, everything is for the team and so I don't understand why there is a need for such f***** up behaviour!!!
Now, I seriously experience what it means when people say that the closer ones are the ones who would hurt you most. Because you will tend to form expectations of them and when they fail to meet these expectations, you feel very disappointed with them. And also, people whom you are close to will tend to take you for granted. Sometimes, they will say very hurtful things to you or even embarrass you in front of a whole group of people, thinking that you can take that JOKE. They have terribly failed to recognise the fact that it is hard to win back someone whom they have hurt and I guess that's why it is really hard to find close friends and if you even have one out there, please treasure him/her and remember never to take him/her for granted.
For me, I feel there is a need to 'reflect' (one of my friends love to use this word) and think about the supposedly 'close' friends that I have and re-think if they are indeed my true friends...
I'm finally done with my one and only exam paper! Kekeke. So glad that it's all over now :) And I'm going to join Alan Marcus Wei Qian for their jamming session in 30mins time before heading to TP for polo training! :)
Shauna's back too!!! So happy. Now looking back at how I mugged for IT1004 last night, I feel so comforted that my hard work has been paid off! Of course it had been super last minute, but I had definitely put in quite a bit of effort doing my notes and making sure I read everything in the textbook :) :) :)
I'm seriously officially a graduate now and I'm so excited!!! No more school for many years to come I guess. I really cannot imagine myself doing Masters or something. I'm so sick of studying and those late nights doing notes and flipping my textbook frantically with only 4 hours left to the final paper. RARR!!! No more of that man!!!
Kekeke. I shall enjoy a good night's rest tonight man. I'm like a panda now, with super huge, ugly and terrible eye bags from those sleepless nights. I was quite stressed cause I knew I had to do well for this paper as Edison, Pang Qi and I had put in a lot of effort in this module, all that class participation and project. I can't possibly let those efforts go down to waste!
It's finally all over man!!! *happy jac* :) :) :)
You give and take away...
You give and take away...
My heart will choose to say...
Lord blessed by Your Name...
At this point of time, I really wished I could say that to myself, but I can't bring myself to. It's really painful when You take it away, it's just so hurting. I rather not have it in the first place, then having You take it away in the end.
If it was meant to be a prank, why make it so real? I am really sad. I have free riders in my project groups, I'm not training well and my competition is in 1 month's time... and I feel so shitty about myself. It's been a long while since I cried like this. I can't control myself and I blame Him. I just hoped to feel some love from You...
I went for the SSA Awards Night last Sunday evening. It was at Shangri-La Hotel and I must say that the food is really good!!! Haha.
Here are some pictures that we took! Kekeke.
Retarded Xiu er...
The Senior Girls!
The Water Polo Girls!
Ting Wen, me & Christel!!! :) Ting Wen is so tall...
Uncle Ho left for Dubai yesterday morning at 730am. We went to the airport at 6am to send him off. Sad sad. I pray that Uncle Ho will be able to tide over this political war and he'll succeed in whatever he do. Ck and I were quite worried for him after hearing his description of the lan4 tan1 zi3 in Dubai. Sigh... Poor Uncle Ho :(
Uncle Ho and I :)
Uncle Ho's 2nd God-daughter CK. Kekeke. I'm the first one :p
Pastor Vincent, Uncle Ho and Pastor Joseph
Angeline and Uncle Ho
All the best Uncle Ho !!! Ni3 xing2 de4 !!! :)
It was a wonderful Saturday yesterday! Early in the morning at 10, I went to the zoo for a church event organised by Life Community; where I befriended kids who had a little family problems. This is 7-year-old Andy, 1 of the 3 kids that I was assigned to. He left me a deep impact during the outing and through him, I felt that I was indeed very blessed to have my family with me.
He's cute isn't he???!!! :)
Then I went for Chermaine's 24th birthday party in the evening and the dress code was TRIBAL FUSION!!! I made do with a seemingly tribal dress and enjoyed the evening with the sumptuous dinner prepared by Chermaine's mom. Her mee siam was FANTASTIC, and the strawberry cheesecake was AMAZING!!! I wonder if her mom wants another god-daughter. Kekeke.
Happy Birthday Chermaine !!! :) 
Hot water polo babes! Kekeke :p
Chermaine's pink dress is really nice !!! 
This super tall model, 2nd left of the picture is Joy, my new found friend !!! Haha.
Aren't we gorgeous ???!!! :p
TRIBAL ...
FUSION !!!
It was such an enjoyable evening! :)
It's Joseph's birthday today! Kekeke. I bought him a nice fruit cake from Crystal Jade and we celebrated his birthday at 12 midnight! Hehe. Cause he got work very early in the morning (5am), so I thought it'll be good that he can have some cake before going to work!!! Hehe.
I'm still awake, just done with promo management printed ads. I'm so dying... Yawn. Shall upload the birthday photos soon! Hehe. Night friends!!!
Here are the photos that I promised! Kekeke :p
Happy 21st Birthday Joseph!!! :)
Brother & Sister!
Yummy Fruit Cake! :)
