CONNECTION'S BACK!!!!! wahaha..

goot...perfect...totally awesome... wahahha....finally got back mi internet connection for $10... the guys came and fixed it for onli $10... goot...totally perfect... whahhhha..oops... revealed mi jip jip jipoh auntie side... whhahahaaha....oops...too happy....and today they announced the com for the year one swim team!! goot... as expected.....

cap = yiming
vice = alex ko
welfare = jia jie
treasurer = jipoh dong

wahahhaha.....goot.... hmm...i guess all the year twos sld be rather satisfied with this combination.... but alex ko gotta work on his 'public speaking' since now he's the vice-cap and he will be the one making all the announcements....goot....and stupid yiming today was saying tt i am sooooo rough...violent...totally like a guy!!!! FREAK!!!!!!!! fine....

yiming & chion chiat: no wonder u can be the 'guys-cap' lah

FREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i dun deny the fact tt i am violent...but i also got wen1 rou2 the side one lor.... diam it... fine...u guys can just carry on with all ur rubbish...can't be bothered with u guys!! ahhaaha... :p

tmr got phy rememdial at 11...den meeting da ge for lunch maybe.... wahhahh...today suan him like mad bout pig intestine... hehehehe... :> so mean of me...but well.... hahahaha..best wishes to da ge and pig intestine!!! hope they you3 qing2 ren2 zhong1 cheng2 juan4 shu3.....goot.... and i am sooooo falling in love with avril lavigne's MY HAPPY ENDING! it sooooo wonderfully depicts wat happened to me!!!! sigh....

My Happy Ending

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

[Chorus:]
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

[Chorus]

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

[Chorus x2]

-avril lavigne-

NO INTERNET CONNECTION!! FREAK!

diam it totally..mi computer broke down and now i can't go online...freak freak freak.. now in sch..supposed to be having maths remedial though...(hiak hiak...wat am i doing in the hub?) ahhha... anyway.... dong and pom...we must force tt boobs to wear tt nude bra we bought for her lor.... it's how ex and den she just anyhow dump it one side... freak!! aahahhaha....

hmm....smart little fifi... i linked u to mi blog liao....so i gonna check on u when mi internet connection is back!! waahahahha..... oh.... and mi dear evan! how can i forget u ah??!! hahhahah... mi u chin san are one clique remember??!! wahahhaah.. and ur pink nail polish still with mi!! ahhha..remember we shared one together??!! ahhaahaahha...pass it to u soon man!! eheheheh...

but diam it lah...no more internet....so I...RRItating.... freak...den dunno y sometimes just keep thinking bout tt shiatz....sobsob.... but i haf been quite happy these few days cos mi mom was back and she sorta like bring life to that empty house.... sigh... but she's gone back ytd evening liao... sob... we took lotsa photos using san's camera.... but she will be back in september for some meeting again!! yes!! perfect... :> and mi dad too...den poor johnny will haf to be alone in hk by himself... :<>

p/s. how i wish i can just erase him off mi memories... :<

da ge's gift!! :>

ahahaha...da ge gave mi a cross pendant today! :> thanks da ge!!! hehehee... it's supposed to motivate mi to mug hard!! ahahah...i am wearing it now!!! gonna go bugis to meet mi mommy!!! :p

i dun wanna think....

sigh.. i just came back from amk....finished praying to mi grandmother... it's like soooooo chu4 jing3 shang1 qing2..... wat made it worse was that while mi mom and joseph were taking taxi home frm amk... we passed by braddell (tt's where kenryu is currently staying at).... den toa payoh (the place mi and him always hang out at).... and...last but not least..... ST ANDREW'S SCHOOL (tt's his sch).... darn.... i realli dun wish to think... and just went i thot i was getting out of that shit... i haf to pass by there....all three places along the same expressway.... am i just fated to dwell in tt shit for soooo long?! memories just all yong3 jing4 nao3 hai3 li3 and i cldn't help it as mi tears just well up..... sigh

i dun wanna know
if u're playing me keep it on the low
cos mi heart can't take it anymore
if u're creeping pls dun let it show
oooooo baby
i dun wanna know

-mario winans-

y do i haf to fall sooooo hard on someone like this.... perhaps i sld just be a freaking biatch being the heartbreaker instead of the other way round.... the feeling of being hurt sux... the feeling of being hurt by someone u loved soooo deeply sux even more.... and the feeling of being hurt by someone u loved soooo deeply yet he treated u like shit is hell.....

back to amk house....

i think i am seriously becoming a big big panda liao... sigh.. i am soooo tired yet i can't slp...today mi mom and joseph gonna go back amk there to pray to mi late grandmother... still rem she was knocked down by this stupid taxi at like 5 plus 6 in the morning...just opposite mi condo (far horizon gardens) at amk there.... and i was in india at tt time...asia pac swimming champs... so i cldn't come back to see her for the last time... dunno y....but i feel that i onli start to realli learn to appreciate mi grandmother onli after she's gone.... sigh... y am i like this? totally a biatch... maybe it's true that we learn to treasure things onli after they are gone.... :<

i am having a bad bad headache now....i realli lack slp.... but i can't...gotta go down amk soon to help out with mi mom for the cleaning up etc.... sigh...den gotta chiong tmr's phy remedial hw.... so stress.... next monday got maths remedial..den friday got chem remedial...and ms wong gc wanna see mi twice next week....sobsob..... tt shows how much preparation work i gotta do.... SIGH!!! can i just go and die now?! had this 1hr talk with mr fun today... he was like asking mi wat i wanna do in future and all... den he was like saying for fun whether i wanna swim 200IM for tj again next yr...i was totally like 0_0'''...... NONONONONONONO!!!!! firstly...i dun wanna retain!! secondly.... i hate IM......no way am i swimming for tj again if i ever retain.... freak freak freak... *touch wood*

today is supposed to be this swimmers gathering during break and lunch...den sickening-ly... all the yr ones cldn't come for the break one.....but nvm...we took some pictures (took with pom..chin...shu...dong...whole swim team together...hmm..still got alot more lah...) during lunch and celebrated shu hui's bdae... wahahha...we gave her a nude bra and made her hold it up to her ** to take pic but she refused...den created such a big joke in the canteen cos the nude bra fell out of the box and she just grabbed it anyhow and chucked it into the plastic bag.... wahhahaaha.... freak lor....it's like seriously damn freaking ex lah.... den she just anyhow like tt.... freak freak freak!! next time dun wanna give stupid shu things liao.... hmph!!

sigh..now suddenly i feel tt mi right calf like cramp like tt.... freak....so I...RRItating!!!! sigh.... i wonder when's the next time i am meeting desmond again... i wan mi pay!!! argh... i wanna save up so tt i can go for slimming centres after a levels.... i am like such a fat blob eating and eating non stop lor....diam it... and now no more swimming polo and running.... getting rounder and rounder each day.... FREAK!!!!!! now i know y he dun wan mi liao.... goot.... nvm... i also got phobia of tt kinda shit liao.... i wish i nv haf to go thru tt again.... sometimes small little memories are already enuff 2 make mi eyes well up in tears.... guess i sld just be a nun for the rest of mi life...... wahahaaha.... but no vegetarian food for me!!! tt's definitely not enuff for a big fat blob like me!! WAHAHAHAHA.... shall go search for food now.... :> ehehehehehehe....

prelims are coming!!!! FREAK FREAK FREAK!

diam it....phy prelim prac is next tues... and mi s.f....graphs etc etc all still like bang sai....freak....sigh..just came back from maths tuition....dr teo(tuition teacher) gave us this cd-rom with all the test papers in it...if onli i can finish them lah.... diam.....

da ge say i very long nv blog liao...very long meh??? hmm....da ge got pig intestine liao den dun wan his xiao mei.... he can go and die now... condemn... :p hahaha.... today ah san finally revealed her scandalous-ing to me... finally u confessed to ur adultry!!! freak!!! ahahaha.....dun like u liao....shall dump u now!! at this very moment!! wahhaha.... hmm..come to think bout it..i haven realli been feeling tt upset over him...just tt sometimes when certain things trigger some memories.... i will feel this stinging pain.....other than tt...guess i am moving on well...ahaha... all thanks to san glenn matthew chew n da ge's prayers... :> goot!

shu pon sch today...freak...i also wanna pon lor....sigh...den ytd ms wong gc caught mi for mi dyed hair (mi hair's like dyed since march lor) and sent mi to mr tong...freak.... tmr gotta dye it black or else i will be banned from prelims... seriously i dun give a shit... and i wish i dun need to take prelims lor.... piangz....and i totally agree with wat marcus chow and ah wan said man....

marcus:good teachers sldn't sabo their students...

wan:she sldn't catch u lor....it's dyed for sooo long liao...

ahhaha...okie...but in gp....we've gotta look at both sides of the picture... perhaps teachers just like their students to be guai and all..... but hello.....we dun live to be teachers' pets do we??!! diam it.....hmm..... now i feel like a y= ln x curve.... getting back to mi usual y = 3 curve soon i guess..... :>

hmm....one more thing....da ge da ge!! where's mi cross necklace?!?!?!?!??! freak..... even though u bang seh mi for pig intestine u also cannot bang seh mi totally one lor!! freak freak freak.. dun care...deadline by this coming friday...27/8/04...no procastination (is this the correct word?? hahhaha.... who cares lah...diam)... :>

thinking of......

just came back from bryan chan's new house..... FREAK... it's how big lah!! diam it.... got swimming pool etc etc.. i seriously think can get lost inside one lor...freak...den it's like...he got 2 dogs and 1 cat and i am like so afraid of them lah....esp that ugly dog called muggie or smt??!! scary lor.....kept pestering us for food??!! diam....hahahahaha...but i am sooo jealous of bryan chan's bed...so big....freak...mine's like maybe 2/3 of his bed onli??!! sianz....b4 tt mi ming and shaowei were actually mugging at shaowei's house.... den we decided to go check out bryan chan's new house..whahaha... goot....

took bus 7 home... sigh..on mi way back.... i dunno y but i just felt sooooo emotional.....den i just kept tearing.... sigh...guess i still can't get him out of mi head..... y?! i already dump all those shit stuff out of mi mind liao... y are those memories still haunting me?! there's no way i can turn back time....(though sometimes i do wish i cld)..but life just has to go on....pls...just stop letting mi dwell into that pile of shit again....today shaowei was telling mi how shit he goal-kept and andy chin kb him like mad.... seriously i know how tt feels and i felt rather hurt n upset for him.... wo3 bu2 shi4 yi1 ge4 rong2 yi4 na2 de4 qi3 fang4 de2 xia4 de4 ren2....i realli need time to get over this.....prelims are coming and i dun wish to get some shit grades like FFF again?! i am trying to mug...but y do i still see him lingering in mi mind?! it's an involuntary action.... sigh...

i love da ge's story book... :> and mi mommy is coming back to singapore for awhile tmr nitez...at bout 11 plus.... so i will be gg to the airport to pick her up with joseph... sigh... i miss mi mom dad n johnny... i am reali sick of leading this life without mi family members ard mi...all i haf is miself miself and miself....i cry by miself at nitez.... and sometimes when i fall sick.... how i wished mom was there to make mi some herbal tea etc...... it's been 1 yr 8 mths... gg to 2 years soon.... i realli dun like this lifestyle.... this kinda freedom is good....but loneliness has made mi wild...made mi depend too much on ppl i like (love).......pls.... let these memories leave mi for good..... i just wish to go back to mi old self....

hahaha....i was just feeling so sad when yiming msg this to mi on msn....

CHARMINGZ! says:
u nv mention me (in mi blog) at all one.....

CHARMINGZ! says:
some kind of fren..

hahahaa...tt realli brightened up mi day.... oops...sld be nitez...hahahaha....thanks ah ming!!! ehehehe...

evening church!

went to da ge's (eugene teo) church this evening at 5.... the service was singing hymns....praying..and preaching from the pastor... felt kinda nice after tt...learnt much stuff from da ge.... hmm...one thing is tt there is this belief tt christians can onli marry christians... cos for christians...they haf this 'higher standard' of life to live... to put it simply...it means our (unbelievers) standard of life is not as high so we will tend to pull those believers down if we marry them.... hmm....da ge gave mi his 'story book' (bible) finally....was reading it on mi way home.... quite interesting...hahha...hmm...ah fern din go cos she din know da ge....so dunno whether she wanna go matthew chew's church or not... but she tmr got trg..so guess not gg tmr morn ba....and i liked this necklace of marcus (i think...da ge's church fren..)...and i asked da ge help mi buy..den he say he might forget....diam it.... he onli remembers wat pig intestine wants... FINE MAN!! got pig intestine liao den xiao mei not important liao....da ge bias...piece of shiatyz bang saiz.... freak!!!!!! dun care da ge anymore...

hmm....tmr mugging with shaowei and ming at shaowei's condusive house.. whahha...goot....i must mug!! chiong for good progress award.... hahahha..... i feel so much better after going for wat christians call 'service'.... but i seriously din know a single hymn lah...so LK!!!! gosh... all that st nicks taught mi were like sooooo different from those sang in the church.... whahhaa.... okie..shall go for more service with yifern den learn all the hymns... hahhaa...

shall go read the storybook da ge gave mi after playing online mahjong!! whhhhhahahaah... hmm..wat shu say is reali rite...i sld haf gone church earlier.... just like wat she did.... :> thanks boobs for ur great advice!! ehehee...

freak freak freak freak freak!

i need to go to a church...preferably someone who is close to mi is in that church...i need someone to preach to mi... i need some sort of jie3 fang4 from everything tt i haf just been thru... sigh... oh..and i signed up for grad nitez today.... can't believed i sign it up for ah boobs... u better be appreciative lor!! biatch... read ur blog den i feel so bad for not gg grad with u... but luckily ah wan going with mi...or else i confirm wun go... rather go back hk and shop!! wahhhaa...

super freaky like mad!! diam it... today tt stupid joseph fr outram sec went to send mi this 'gunbound ver.2' file..it was actually this freaky scary pic of this woman with bloodshot eyes staring rite out fr the screen with tt scary sound...freak piece of shit lor!!! wah lao eh... i was like how freaking scared lah...screamed like mad den mi bro thot wat happened...now i dun even dare to slp lor....diam it... actually last time kenryu got tell mi b4 bout this pic... den the pic will just stay there and ur com is like hanged?! so u gotta face tt pic till u restart ur com... he got damn a shock tt time also lah... but i told him not to send the file to mi... now suay suay this stupid joseph (same name as mi younger bro somemore..freak) come and send mi...i was like how pissed with him man!! diam it... FREAK!!!!

today did that gp mock exam...almost died man... den was talking bout ah tong and ms norsheha...freak!! actually i like ms norsheha alot lor...den greg was so mean!!! making fun out of them.. and den zihao and fifi were laughing like mad... goot!

hmm....san is such an ass...bang seh mi and chinchin for her doraemon.. wat's so good bout tt chinese-look-like-malay?! hmph!! san!! u gao3 da4 le4 wo3... yet u still dare to haf concubine outside... sobsob...

yifern ah yifern... dun be so upset over tt person...cos i guess it's just part and parcel of life?! so well...we gotta move on yeah? hmm.. and ah ting ah... dun quarrel with ur mom liao... :> i feel realli slpy..dunno y... somemore suay suay tio tt thing... cramp like mad... and cos of tt i was late for sch today... sigh....

ah san... i keep thinking bout that person... how?! gosh.... cannot cannot... no more getting into shit for mi...i am now reali skeptical bout relationships man... i think guys who are lesser than or equals to mi age are soooooooooo childish man.... freak! so no accepting of guys who are same age or younger alright??!! (this applies for ah san too!!!! so...say 'no' to doraemon now... u already haf mi lor... how can betray me??!! freak! chin chin too... ur tt one ah...cannot cannot!!) hahahaah....kk..think i sld just shuddup and go and mug....

y|t|ng r0x!!!~~~!!!~~~

aWww, it's killg me, lookg at my honey feelg so upset n yet i cant do anything to reduce her agony...cheer up yeah~? tis entire posting's for ya. chowchoW!!! how i miss ya after our parting today...hehe...C'mon...keNRyu's juZ a trash...no pt dwellg n yearng for him...he's juZ a jackass...aLwiZ rem tt true luV does not cum by findG e perfect person, but by learng 2 c an imperfect person perfectly. luV's a fire, u cant tell when it's gona warm u, and when it's gona burn ya down. i might haf hurtZ ya earlier in e afternoon by tellg ya to retain some morsels of pride in urself...i'm sorrie...but it realli hurts to cya like tt...it's nv too late in life/fiction to revise...recap wot u've chosen wrongly...get it str n u get e right catch next time k? dun b depressed, not worth ur while. A guy who only noe how to take in ur sacrificial n dump ya aside after he's got everything is not worth a tear...get it? aNyw, i reaLli duN uNdErsTaNd gUy'S tOts, thEy'Re uNfaThOmaBle. tHey kEpt iNsisTg tt We'rE e hArd One 2 PreDiCt, AwwW...lOadS of sHiT. y SaY i"vE tOnNes of fLinGs WheN i oNli bEar My heArt oUt 2 ya? y sAy u LoVe Me wHen u'Re tEsTg mE oN e OtHer End. crapZ. nVm' darN iT!
i LuRve ya...chowchow...guys r basterds...

this above is written by mi beloved yiting from nyp!! wahhah... ur blog very touching leh... heehe...

today went to play pool with ming isaac and emily... den emily's head got hit by the table...gosh... it must haf been damn pain cos em was tearing?! cld tell isaac was like soooo lian2 min3 her?! wooo.... such a nice nice bf... hehehhe.... em....u must take care k?! hmm...den ate at pasta cafe or smt at taka there with ming ming... thanks for the treat pretty babe!! hehheeehhe..and dun forget our date next sunday k?!?!?! *muacks*

ytd went to play pool with ting and mi beloved younger brother... hahaha... he thrashed us sia.... freak!!!!! after a's must chiong pool like mad!! haahhahaa.... today crapped with ming bout post exams activities... freak... too tempting... must chiong like mad now man... den can enjoy later!! eheheeh.... off to mug now!! :>

i |0v3 p0m p0m & m|Ng!!~~!!~~

hey pom pom...thanks for ur BEAuuuuuuuutttiiiiffffuullll make-over for mi blog.... hhahha... fr originally a bang sai shiat now become big big chio bu liao... :> hehhheehehe.... (to everyone out there... now mi tag-board is beside mi most current posting... below 'my past memories' there!! heeehhe...so go tag tag tag tag tag tag tag tag tag.........) :p

i will get over that piece of rubbish shiat asap to repay dearest pom pom.... and nice chocolates from cocoa trees for u too... heehhehe.... so cool leh... st andrews is somewhat sponsored by cocoa trees lor!! freak... when will anybody come sponsor tj??!! gosh.. sigh.... tj is sooooo LK lor.... freak!!!!

not forgetting mi beloved ming ming too!!! thanks for that fantastic testimonial!! ahhaha.. i bet mi teacher see liao confirm know is not i write one liao... mi england where got so goot like urs??!! wahhhhaa.... dabai (hokkien = everytime) E8 lor...hhaahh...

oops... just realised actually i got alot of ppl out there for mi!! :> so blinded by that shiat tt i forgot everyone ard me(oops..so paiseh now...heeehee..) thanks ah san... glenn goh.. matthew chew and many more for praying for mi... a great great *muacks* for all of u.... :>

it's all over....

i just called him to settle things once and for all... i told him i know he feels that i am pestering him and that he's avoiding mi and all... but i still asked him to meet mi tmr and he refused... he say if i got things to say den just tok rite on the phone... so i just went ahead... asking him the reason y we broke off.... but den but he cldn't give mi a proper reason(he say is cos i suggest it one.. and that watever i asked wun change anything)... and he told mi to give up(as in stop pinning hopes on him)... so i asked him the question that i always wished to haf an ans to... that is... 'so u dun like mi and will nv like mi again issit?' so he said 'ya'.... and i thanked him for being so frank....well..that's the end i guess... hurting...very hurting in fact(tt i know very clearly now)... but life goes on....

ah san..i guess at least things are clear now... i can fully give up hope already... at least glad that things are clear now... ah wan and boobs....thanks for telling mi tt he will 'crawl back to mi' etc...cos tt gave mi hope.... and help lessen the pain at that pt of time...

to all those out there reading mi blog and so clueless bout wat's gg on... so sorry i wrote mi previous postings in such a vague way.... well...i will come clean with all of u now... mi and him break liao.. on the 7th of aug... and it's a clean break.... i guess the onli hurting thing left is that during our last phone call.. he had to be sooooo irritated with mi... i guess i haf realli cheapened miself to the limit... all morales and self-esteem gone... i am totally in this pile of shit now and i feel that i can't get out of it.... things will nv be the same again for mi i guess.... all i can say is that it's all god's will... and i hope He can get mi out of this soon....

nO3s nT itZ oWn d3pTh, tiL` E hR o SEPARATION... says:
i dun wanna u dwell on him

jacchow says:
can u pls just like help mi stop mi tears or smt?

nO3s nT itZ oWn d3pTh, tiL` E hR o SEPARATION... says:
it's juZ a guy

nO3s nT itZ oWn d3pTh, tiL` E hR o SEPARATION... says:
i'm not saying tis cos i tink u're not serious

nO3s nT itZ oWn d3pTh, tiL` E hR o SEPARATION... says:
e pt is i noe u're god damn serious...tt's y i tell u it's not worth it

nO3s nT itZ oWn d3pTh, tiL` E hR o SEPARATION... says:
lve urself some morsels n pride honey

to mi dearest yiting... all i can say is that i haf no more morale and pride already...so sorry i disappointed u....i din mean to...

tag board and links??!!

gosh.. just had a tag board on mi blog... it's like rite at the bottom of the page?! freak.. how can i change it??!! pom pom.. must help me... sigh

i was feeling so tormented when i realised i cld blog it all down.. dunno y but i suddenly once again haf the urge to kuai4 dao1 zhan3 luan4 ma3... settle all this once and for all.... sigh... i realli envy all those sweet loving couples out there... ah san... must give mi support k... sigh... and i wanna link everyone to mi blog!!! how am i supposed to do that??!! freak... somebody help!!! ahahha... :p

outing at cs......

wahhaha.. today went out with san and raymond (san's church fren)... hmm... quite fun... walked ard the whole century square... den went to this bubble tea shop and talked rubbish... sigh.. but all the while i was like thinking bout him? and i felt realli upset.. when can all this start all over again?! guess this day will nv come.. but somehow or another... i keep pinning hopes bout tt... dong4 xin1 rong2 yi4 chi1 xin1 nan2.... liu2 qing2 rong2 yi4 shou3 qing2 nan2..... guess this is realli an apt description for him..... cheng2 jing1 de4 nuo4 yan2 yi3 yan1 xiao1 yun2 san4..... dan4 wo3 que4 chi1 chi1 de4 xiang4 ge4 bai2 chi1 yi1 yang4 qi1 pan4 zhe4 ta1 de4 gui1 hui2....

li3 qing1 zhao4 wrote this poem which i studied it b4 in chi lit... it's realli sad cos her husband left her? as in..he died lah.... and i think it can be used for mi too??!! hahaha... well.... sigh.... anyway...ah san... he's not bad a person.. :> heheheehe.. *hint hint*

well... ting ah... thanks for ur comment... gave mi light for the day... heheehehe....i know wat u are capable of... ahahhaa..but dun lah... small kid... relax lah... i mean.. not as if there was anything bad and all happenening to me... it's just a small thing.. i think for now i still can take it... cos u will know it when i can't take it... i will go back hk... i wun come back ever again... at least not for a couple of years.. u know me... i dun wish to trigger any memories... i just wish to lead a 'y=3 curve' life... :>

oh...and ah san ah... u better post mi more comments ah!!! no more excuses... wahahhahah... and den i can reply u guys on mi next blog!!! :> eheheheeeehehee....

yu3 guo4 tian1 qing2 le4 ma1?

'love hurts. loving someone who doesn't love u back hurts even more.' -yifern-

thanks chin chin for ur note... gonna go sandra's house to watch singapore idol tonite! hope to forget all this shit that's happening to mi now... argh... stuff miself with notes... books... food... and become a totally smart pig.... wahhhaha... gonna get good progress award man... WAHHAHHAA.... from FFF i guess sld be able to improve ba.... wahahah... :> i love mi frens... all mi frens!!! :> and mi mom dad and brothers too!!! heehehe..

quote of the day

"he brings me sparks of light, however transient, in my world of dark nothingness" -ming-

this is frm a gp pro... she gave mi this quote... :> thanks mian2 yang2... hahhaa... now i know y he is so crazy over u liao... hhahahaa... i just hope everything will be fine for mi... though i know things can nv be the same again... i wish for a peaceful life.... with just a maybe y=3 graph? instead of a -x^2 or sine or cosine curve.... i rather lead a boring dull life rather than having to enjoy it for awhile... den fall rite down into a bottomless pit (like now) and i haf to struggle soooo hard to climb out of it... i am tired.... realli tired...

ah wan rocks.... she nv gets tired teaching mi mi phy and all... and she is just so smart... y are ppl ard mi just so smart?! freak... mi dearest bro johnny...joseph....shu... wan... san...ivan ong....eugene teo...matt chew... kenneth cheok... jingyi... yifern... isaac... em... even ray!! like just practically from sch till swimming till polo... everyone i know just seems to be sooo smart!!??!?! gosh... y dun i just go and die now man... throw face.... freak...better go mug now sia... sigh.... feel so tired... :<>

pang2 huang2

i am afraid of slping.... everytime i wake up i feel empty... i feel as if i haf lost mi life....(not just soul)... but i realli feel tired.... ytd went to mug with wan and shu at airport... goot... finished tutorial 63... den saw ivan ong...mi gosh... jian4 gui3 le4.... hahaah... well... ivan ong said this to me....'guys are heartless....' and 'they bu4 chi1 hui2 tou2 cao3...chu2 fei1 cao3 hao3 chi1 cai2 chi1'.... well... i am definitely not a nice-eating grass den.... and this realli left mi thinking for the rest of our mugging time at the airport b4 we went off the terminal 1 to eat and went home to zzzz....

to my dearest yifern..

one more thing to add.... dear yifern... thanks for being there for mi today... this entire blog is for u... u've been a great great fren... listening to all mi rubbish... wahhahah... oh...and help mi thank ur father for tt swensen's treat... gosh.. i feel super bloated now.... hahahaa.... and... u dun think too much bout it too... we both just gotta live with it and move on!! 'just put down the phone and get on with it...' i can't believe this phrase was sent rite into mi ears yesterday nite... well.... heartless as it seems... it just tells us one thing.... GET ON WITH OUR LIVES!! haahahaa... :> love ya yifern... :> take care....

lost.....

lost... due to the limited amt of gp knowlege i haf... i guess lost has onli 2 meanings to me? one is lost... literally lost... in a sense u dunno where u are and u are like crying for ur parents!! (tt's wat i always do when i was young... crying for them when they are like just at the next lane of the supermarket..) well.. the other meaning... is wat i am feeling now... totally wandering ard aimlessly.... i feel totally outcasted by the world...... lost all mi morale... (though i dun realli haf much in the first place) sigh...

today's national day? well... at morning 1am i was still tearing like nobody's business?! sigh... 29th apr - wonderful day(mi birthday somemore)...... 7th aug- lost day..... totally lost..... i feel like i am just an empty shell.... soul-less..... and i realli dunno wat to do.... all i can say is thanks sandra.... i love u.... thanks for all ur prayers.... i guess god realli heard u?! hahahahaha... i fell asleep like soon after i msg u.... :>

today went filming at tp.... so sad...it's the last day already.... and i took pic with all the female actresses today... :> heheheehe.... well...cldn't help but think bout it.... (THE FILMING WAS AT TOA PAYOH LOR...) sigh.... anyway... it's going to be the last time i am ever going to step into it.....at least till after a levels? well.... tt's if i ever wanna continue playing polo after a's... cos i am realli sick of all those political shit there..... mi wan shu gonna form our new team... we will take part in open league and beat everyone up!! whahahahaha.... oops.... trg will be at csc!!! shu better bring us in man... den we 3 jipoh aunties can go enjoy all the facilities there... :> heheeheh....

sigh... gonna mug overnite at the airport tonite with wan and shu... i realli gotta chiong... mi grades are realli like bang sai can?! help... SANDRA!! help ah!! i feel so dead man... and i dunno wat tests there are this week?! gosh... first time i am like panicking for any tests..... argh!!! feel so dumb....(esp when ah san is mi good good fren...) freak!!! aahhaahaa.....dun like ah san....everytime so smart... nv study also thrash mi in every test.... bleah!!!! kk...guess i gotta stuff miself with food and notes and forget bout all that shit that's happened to me! i realli gotta get out of mi 'sec 2' mentality and move on to a new 'jc 2' mindset.... thanks emily for ur msg on ur blog... hahahaha... so glad that sooooooo many ppl love mi out there... wahahahaha.... oh well... ah san... must continue to pray for mi k... i realli need u.... and i seriously think someday... i sld go to a church or smt... wat st nicks taught mi (as in how to pray) seems so different from wat u all teach mi.... ahhaahha...oops ..... well... after a's is a real good time i guess....

kk...i sld stop all mi biatching and get mi ass off to the airport now and mug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sigh... still that 2 words... LOVE SUX.... -huijia-

heheehehe....

wat's love?!

well....2 words for it.... LOVE SUX!!! now at bryan chan's house with like sooooo many ppl... wahahha... enjoying life sia.... goot.... well... reali glad that i had yiting with mi today.... and ming too!!! ahhaha.. now i feel much better... though i do still feel a little hurt etc... but guess i need to haf that independence and mature mindset to get miself out of this abyss.... (so much to say... yet i just can't bring miself to go thru all those tears again... so.... i shall just leave it in miself... just like wat he always does.... :>) hahaha... learnt this new word from yiting today!! :> goot..... must chiong all the way for mi gp sia... ahahaa.... and i seriously feel that the onli few ppl who knows wat shit i've been thru are like... ting... ming... ah wan.... biatch... sandra... isaac!! emily!! well....realli thanks to all these ppl tt i am sorta 'recovering' fast?! ahahaha... xie4 le4 ge4 wei4!!!!!!

well... i just hope i can still make it for a levels... as in... it's still not too late?! sigh... gotta realli settle down and mug like shit.... gotta realli force all those crap into mi pea brains.... :p sigh... kk... think i shall try and get started to mug a little now.... hahaaaahaa..... bleah!!

sigh..

i realli feel sad....damn sad...damn damn sad....damn damn damn sad now.... at the same time... stressed....damn stressed... damn damn stressed....damn damn damn stressed too.... a levels just sux... y mus we mug.... mug mug...mug mug mug..... y can't we just live in a world with just love....more love.... and more more love??!! y must we study?! y must we feel sad?! y can't we just enjoy life?! 'LIFE IS SHORT. LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST'... is mugging and feeling sad living life to the fullest?! freak.... i dun wan....

sigh... sometimes...certain things are just meant to be....those that are not will nv be....the chi version is smt like this i think... 'ming4 li3 you3 shi2 zhong1 xu1 you3...ming4 li3 wu2 shi2 mo4 qiang2 qiu2...' ahhaha... not bad...mi chi still quite pro... sigh... i think i am realli super immature and stupid in mi thinking.... i desperately need to grow up and learn to accept the way life is.... anyway... i've made this 'decision' regarding ** just bout 2hrs ago.... i hope i can get out of this shit soon... everyone out there check this out k??!! ' sch students should not date!' wahahhaaha.... oops.... think glenn they all gonna box mi liao... :p

well....just got this new pod lite plan!!! wahhaha.... 700sms for $10.50 onli!! jip jip jip!!!!! and mi new no. is 98396896... wahahhaa.... so everyone... msg mi more on this no. k?!?!!?!?!? sigh.... so sorry biatch....wan.... yiming... and everyone who went yiming's house ytd.... sorry i bang seh-ed all of u... din mean to.... reali sorry... smt cropped up... and i was realli upset... needed to be realli quiet and sort out mi thots.... so paiseh... hope u guys enjoyed the voldka though.... next time i promise i make u guys nicer drinks that yiming made for u all.... WAHAHAHAHA.... yiming dun box mi hor.... :P

sigh...so stressed!! i scared i can nv make it for a levels... today was mugging bouyant forces... i just cldn't settle down!!! Freak!!!! damn it.... was trying so hard... all i got into mi stupid pea brains was just 'upthrust = weight of fluid displaced'..... argh!! y am i just so dumb?!?!?! can anyone help me?!?!!?!?!?!? gosh.... i realli feel stupid like mad.... can i dun take a levels?! it's causing mi great misery... everyday grounded in sch till 730?! freak.... and i gotta get DEF for prelims or else mrs lim will make mi retain for sure.... for all mi jc life i haf been getting shit results lor!!! let's see....

JCT (june common test) 2003 - F O F F
PROMOS 2003 - D O F F
MCT (march common test) 2004 - F O F
JCT 2004 - F F F

see the pattern???!!! but well.... there's smt to be happy about though... i passed mi gp for the first time in mi whole life for JCT 2004.... whaahhhah.... sianz... think i better prepare mi stuff for tmr's make up.... oops...actually is later in the morning.... 830- 11....physics...freak...in lt3 i think.... sigh.... better go chiongz now..... :<

wAtErPoLo!~!~!~!~!~!

wahhaha.... just read biatch's blog.... reminded mi of our polo match ytd... freak! we won...but it was seriously badly played.... shouted at all mi teammates yet nothing was done... now mi voice like breaking liao... freak!!!! hmm... wat can i say? ytd the teacher-in-charge for rj kept shouting 'white's ball white's ball!!' den wan ling told mi she damn buay song when she heard tt so she shouted back 'blue's ball blue's ball!!!' wahhaha..blue...that's us! tjc!! feel so bad for shouting at dong... fifi....shu....ger...hippy kit....wan... basically the whole team!!! but den...we all played like shit lah... and seriously... miself was the worst!!! mi gosh... can't believe that i tried so hard to get foul yet the referees din wanna give it to me.... freak!!!! acted soooooo beautifully sia... wahahahaha.. opps... :> anyway... we won...tt's smt worth celebrating... but i feel tt we realli reap wat we sow...

firstly... all of us turn up for trg and those we din kenna kb by mi and shu... secondly...we bother to train up ourselves in sch during pe and after land trg.... thirdly... we had like freaking alot of tactics etc lah!! hahahahaha... hmm...so much to tok bout ytd polo match...

rj's match was like real fighting?? as in those kinda in wrestling ring.... wah... den kenna punched by mel wu.... den teh yilin kicked me!!!! freak!!! and b4 the match i was like telling everyone to take action onli if they whacked us.... damn... we were like so nice yet they so mean!!!!!!! freak!!! den val chan scolded the 'F***' word cos i attacked her after 3s and she rebut that 3s was not up yet.... watever.... anyway.... i felt that the refereeing was rather biased? they were like all from rj??!!(they were the champions for the 1st and 2nd inter-sch polo championships?) well... anyway... tj is the champions now... at least for the 3rd and 4th championships... wahahah... hmm....as for the sa match... wah piangz.... kenna scratched by alicia.... and now mi face still got that small scar there.... freak!!!!!!!! hmm....all these goes down to matthew chew!!! wahahahh..... oops.... he told them to attack us if we attacked them.... but den fifi was telling mi that rite from the start of the game... her defender already started to sink her liao... den someone grabbed boob's hand too.... and i was scratched!!!! all neo pet and matthew chew's fault!!! ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I...RRItating!!!!!!!!!!! well...it's all over...and i wld like to thank mi cg 20/03 for gg down to support us... pom pom hair...jia jie...serene and most imptly.... mr alex fun for his long-awaited presence.... wahhaaha... like making announcement like tt.... after the whole match... we went to take pictures!!!! and we took this pic where all of us made that act-cute face serene always does... wahahha... hippy kit's one was damn farnie... and shu just gave her stupid 'eeeeeeeeeeeeeee' face!!! act cute!!!! wahahhhaha...

toking bout announcements ah... ytd was realli the most throw face announcement i've ever made... ah wan supposed to make it... in the end... dun even haf script.... freak!!!! so mr fun was like... 'aiyah...u hurry just go make it lah...' den i just anyhow anyhow and forgot mi lines.... THROW FACE!!!!! freak!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LK(lao kui) in front of the whole sch!!! den jipoh auntie and pom pom was like making fun of me... freak!!!! so diao-edz......

hmm....went to eat duck noodles today.... with ah boobs...supposed to be mugging.. in the end we just tok and tok non stop.... ahahaha.... freak...tmr we gonna pon nat day celebration... and be total real muggers... hmm....so proud of miself today... finished the whole tutorial 62 with ivan ong's help!!!! mi gosh... in like less than 50mins???? goot!!! perfect!!! ahahha....later gtg chiong mi phy and chem tutorial... and i better go make arrangements to meet up ms wong(S) and mr ngoh.... i desperately need help.... hmm... and matthew chew said he wld help mi ytd with mi maths....goot.....now got extra help... so if dun understand wat mr ngoh teach.... stupid matthew chew better be there....

wah....actually i just realised i got alot of helpers.... hmm...at least dun feel so stressed now... but den!!!!!!!!!!!! i feel soooo lag!!! munpun ivan ong and weicheng are like so far ahead for tutorials!?!?!??! damn...feel so shitty now... i seriously better do smt bout it man!!! sigh...gtg mug now sia.... argh!!!!!

stressed!!

today went to mug with boopies and ah wan.... halfway ah wan left...so mi and boobs just continued doing our work.... damn...felt like slping thruout sia.... ahhahaah... anyway...den went to the indian theatre there the macs to mug... and we joined this loyalty member thing for macs... wahahaha... next time shall go eat macs with him!! heheeehe... :> after tt met ah wan again... we ate like mad sia.... first ban mian...den fried carrot cake... den boobs tio constipation... wahah... freak... eat more fruits lor.... ahhahha... feel so stressed now actually.... boobs asked mi maths questions....seems easy but when i actually try them... it's like..... i just 0_0'''.... stunned.... simple stuff yet i dunno.... freak!!!!!! argh... and now i am like writing this rubbish instead of mugging... AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! feel so lost.... realli wonder if i can make it for a levels or not.... he better come and push mi on and give mi motivation and encouragement man.... argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate school.... damn....