I MISS YOU......I REALLI REALLI DO.....but...where are you?!

I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...I MISS YOU...i realli realli do.... i walked a very long time... since i left toa payoh.... it was about 745?? and i just reached home onli....1105... mi mind was blank....totally.... i cldn't think... i was wandering ard aimlessly... walked from orchard to bugis... saw alot of couples.... and i realli wonder.... where is mi partner? adding on to it.... val chan rubbed into mi wound today.... questioning mi....i was very hurt....i din know how to reply.... sigh... ni3 dao4 di3 zai4 na2 li3..... wo3 si4 hu1 ou3 duan4 si1 lian2....er2 ni3 que4 tie3 shi2 xin1 chang2......

wat haf i been doing??!!

sigh...... wat haf i been doing man... like soooo rotting away for the week... and mr andy just told mi tt i dun haf the ssa swimming cert cos i din join any meets for the year.... FREAK! inter-branch...inter-con....sch nats not counted meh?!?! bloody shit... den last time mr chong say i dun haf the cert cos i nv swim inter-branch for tp... wtf..... wat's wrong with all these adults man?! sigh.. so sld i still go for the ssa award thing??!! like tt i am onli gg for the polo one liao lor... but actually not even confirm if i will get the polo cert or not..... DIAM!! if i am gg there for nothing... den i am NOT GOING lor.... yifern said nobody realli cares abt the cert... neither do i.... but the thing is.... IF U ARE BEING CALLED DOWN TO GO FOR THE CEREMONY... DEN U JOLLY WELL GET SMT OR ELSE U ARE WASTING UR TRIP DOWN THERE RITE?! freak.... anyway.. screw them all... sigh.... let's see wat haf i done for this whole week man... hmm.... i think i forgot wat i haf done on monday and tuesday liao.... but after tt.........

wednesday - i went for 3 interviews for sales jobs and managed to get all 3 but of cos... i am picking the best one for myself... wahhahaha... den after tt went trg with dyan at queenstown & went for dinner with ziqian...t-chien.. sulynn and val after trg....

thursday - met up with yifern and jingyi in the afternoon and went cine pastamania for lunch and then went shaw tower to watch 'oceans 12'.... (for this... there's special mention for yifern who FELL ASLEEP HALFWAY THRU THE SHOW..... well done.... totally perfect...) but well... all thanks to jingyi for recomending us such a boring show.... wahahaahah..... -_-'''

friday - helped sub ah wan at seiyu bugis level 3 from 4-9pm den watched 'kung fu hustle' at 945 with jingyi and den i stayed over at her hse... playing mahjong with her... her bro and her bro's gf....

sat - went to bedok ntuc with jingyi in the morning den met up with ming at night and watched 'meet the fockers' with her and den went home at abt 3 plus (considering that the show started at 1.30am).....

quite a fun week....wahahhaha.... alright.... i am still damn slpy from ytd's movie.... yawnz.. but think i am gg back to mi amk house now to get mi mini i-pod... and den set off to go for tt stiupiadz ssa award ceremony... shall slp on the train man...hope dyan ray they all got go lor... if not i can realli just rot there half the time man... sigh.... :<

sooooooooooooo broke!!

argh.... i feel so broke... went to get glenn his birthday presents on friday.... went all the way to jurong pt at boon lay to get the chess set.... den the shop closed down.... after tt yiming dua mi say suntec got shop... well done lor... the shop din even exist.... so in the end went to ask ah wan and i got it on sat... den after getting it early in the morning... i went to arena warehouse to collect his tracksuit..... den waited near raffles place mrt station there for all of them... msg glenn but he din reply!!! argh.. hate waiting... anyway... i got too sianz of waiting so i went home to slp first den met up with wan ah choo.. boobs and glenn in the evening at orchard there to celebrate his bdae! whahaaah... den we went to glenn's hotel to celebrate his bdae with his family in the hotel room... soooo reminded mi of our sanya sammakki and year end swimming trips...

hahaa... we also stay in hotel and will party whole nitez for the last nitez of our trip... argh... miss those times... mi jacqi tania weiling will havoc in our rooms lah!!!!! den we will haf lotsa cup noodles... oreo... H2O.... pocari sweat etc etc.... lotsa fun...lotsa food... and chris...gary chen... chen ann and many other of our club guys will come and play with us too... most common game was truth or dare.... den we play dai dee and mahjong sometimes too... den got uno and all .... hahahaa.. miss those times man.... all those silly crushing stuff all originated from those trips... and each trip we actually come out with this new-crush thing... hahahahaa... so fun.... well.... realli nice nice memories... heeeheeh

sigh.... but back to reality.... life's quite bad... i need to work like mad... just coaching swimming is not enough man... i need to get a permanent job with rather good pay one.. whahhaaha... sigh.... help help help... all u ppl out there must intro mi good good jobs k?!??!?!!?! sianz!! i need to move house too.... glenn and da ge better come and help mi ban1 jia1 man... hahaahha.... shall go sing mi heart out now... blast mi speakers... hhahaahhaaahaha......

i feel soooo tired.....

sigh... since i came back from hk.. i've been feeling soooo busy with stuff.... rite after mi holiday was grad nitez... den after that went clubbing the following day.... and den there was the polo friendly matches with the aus and malaysian team clashing with glenn's church camp.... and now i am gg california fitness everyday to workout and learn those hip hop dancing..kick boxing etc etc.... den following tt will be swimming and polo trg everyday... though i have no goal in swimming liao.. but i just like to go and train cos i love mi jiao lian... wahahaha....

grad nitez was fun... except the part tt everyone called mi a catwoman.... FREAK!! argh... nvm... den it was the nitez at chinablack... was so shocked to see yiming... alex sim.. alex ko and jia jie they all there... wahahha... and the polo matches were alright lah... at first tio black face from the older gals (wat's their freaking prob??!!)...but after a few matches we became quite alright liao (i guess).... hmm..... glenn's church camp was soooo fun... though i din like the games and all...but the speaker was damn good... wahahhhaha.... and jeremy (glenn's church mate) was funky too... gave such a wonderful speech... i wonder if i can learn to love the hard-to-love ppl... wat made mi enjoy jeremy's workshop was that he was also an onli child (same as HIM) and that he himself also admitted that those who are onli child are very hard to love cos they tend to be very self-centred and think that the whole world onli evolved ard themselves... sigh...

toking abt HIM.... i met HIM at the pool and flashes of memories came back to me... ray said HE always look at chio bus etc and i realised that i just cant stop thinking abt HIM.... when can this just ever stop?!!?? sigh... i hope to get out of this abyss soon....i feel so tired.... both physically and mentally... :<

-_-''' wat am i feeling now?!

tmr's left only phy ppr 5!! waahhahha... too happy..... gg to clean mi house later!! heeheh... den pack mi suitcase and leave for mi beloved hong kong tmr!! rite after mi paper.. hehe.. so happy.... come to think abt it.... the papers that i think i realli badly screwed up are

1. phy prac (diam it... first ppr den screwed up liao...)
2. maths ppr 1
3. phy ppr 2
4. chem ppr 1

dead...cannot go uni le...sianz..... but nvm...... all this nightmare is coming to an end now... wahahahha... YEAH!!!! so happy...cant wait for this to all finish man... heheehehe... lalallalala..... :> sigh.... but after tt will be holidays.... and for the past 8 yrs of mi life..... every holiday is called intensive trg.... wahhahah... but this time... i am gg to have a change...

i wanna get out of this swimming circle thing... and waterpolo too.... HE left mi such sad memories that i realli haf no wish to go back toa payoh for trg ever again..... though i love the sport (polo)...but i guess...i cant beat miself.... i cant get over certain stuff... i haven let go totally yet... i need time...more time... i wish time cld go back.... and change history... but duh..it's not possible... and i dunno how i am supposed to react also if i ever see HIM again.... :<

Tony Braxton - Un-Break My Heart

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart

sld i be happy or sad?!

okie... i think i am very mad now.....was in quite a happy mood.... went to mug...den met up with yifern...den went da ge's church... den went to eat dinner den went to listen to music at HMV...hahahaha.... sigh....so tired.... was realli in quite a good mood till ray called me... diam it.... ren3 bu4 zhu4 ask about HIM..... den i was so sad....cos whenever ray talked to HIM abt me...HE will tell ray 'eh....drop it lah...' FREAK!!! ask ray to drop the subject (which is me) somemore....freak!!!!!! so hurting can!? diam it diam it..... argh.............. pissed now..... a's are like coming to an end for me... hahahaha...quite happy.... finally out of this shit... hehehe.. :p

p/s: hey gwen.... do link me!!! ahhahahaha...and must gimme ur link too okie?!?!? ehehehe.. so tt i can link u to mi blog too.... :>

F tong.... u watch out...i wun just take it lying down....

freak that freaking F Tong sia.... kns.... that stiupiadz woman already catch mi for mi uniform cos she CLAIMS tt it was tucked out on monday.... i was wearing a sweater over lor.... like that she still can tell whether it's tucked in or out??!! ridiculous.... and i DID freaking hell tuck in mi shirt can?! den bloody F tong still come and take mi ic ytd halfway thru the maths ppr..... FREAK HIM!!!! i got a shocked lor.... and it sooo affected me while i was doing the diam shit ppr.... he took mi ic away cos i din go report to him b4 the maths ppr when no one even told mi i was supposed to look for him.... so i was sooo damn buay song when i went to look for him ytd after the ppr...totally gave him black face thruout and snatched back mi ic from him after tt.... den just as i stormed out of his bloody stinky office.... he called mi back and said

' ur name is here on the list that's y i have to see u.... if u did tuck in ur shirt den y din u question that lady?? u dun haf to feel so enraged here................................'

cldn't rem wat else he said... all i know was tt i was giving him that one-more-F-word-and-i-will-slap-u face thruout....ARGH... I FREAKING HELL HATE HIM CAN?!?! diam it.... and i purposely rolled mi eyes at him str at the face b4 i left his room again.... freak him sia..... and he sldn't be called francis tong lor.... he ought to be fuck tong.... cos he's just so freaking fucked up....i did question mr fun lor... but he said he wasnt the one who caught me but tt lady... so in end i cldnt be bothered liao and just stormed out of the hall.... and i was soooo irritated with yiming also lor..... supposed to go to the canteen to pass mi back mi volka den he made mi go all the way to the gym to look for him... i almost wanted to smash the bottle of volka on him can?! F***..... and when i went opp to eat with glenn wanhui they all... freaking hell...din even reserve any seats for me.... F*** again.... totally bad mood thruout and i told glenn off later in the afternoon on the phone..... argh.... anyone dare to piss mi off again during the period of time.... freaking hell watch out man...... diam it...

A Levels... when can this nightmare be over?

finished gp today liao.. quite alright i guess... wrote on 'are the poor an inevitable feature in any society?' and freak.... i almost wanted to cry when i realised wanling and kiki wrote the same qn as me... two for sure A1 students writing same qn as me... and after they told mi wat they wrote abt... i realli realised that mi contents were soooo shallow.... sigh.... :<>

SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH!!!!

sigh.... so sad now... just heard the bad news that my childhood fren's dad just passed away? really diam sad... :( it's like soooo sudden can?! den i screwed up my phy prac.... why do God wanna do this to me?!?!?!?!?!?! i mean..... let mi screw up anything but not mi a levels rite?!?!? not as if i din mug for it?!?!?!?! seriously it's like how demoralising for me??!! prac is the onli part i can score lor.... everyone just tells me that it's onli 10%..... but i know they will onli feel the pinch if they are the ones who are losing this 10%.... sigh.... WATEVER LAH!!! (i reali hate this 'watever' word... sooo reminds me of him...) but anyway... yeah...den today jing hean and mi bro went to see mi principal to see if they can come tj (obviously they got the negative ans)... freak lor.... the first time i went to tok to her den she was like sooooooooooooo frenly and all.... den today mi and yiming went to look for her.... den she gave that 'str NO' tone..... freak!! shuo1 fan1 lian3 jiu4 fan1 lian3..... totally a freaking biatch.... diam it.... den that mr fun now got promoted to some dunno wat freaking shiatz post and he's like sooooo heck care abt the tj swim team liao... freak off man!! he din even bother to help jing hean ask if he can come tj at all....such kinda sucky teacher-in-charge... i hate him man... i came to tj hating him.... now i am also leaving tj hating him..... well done.. he's just meant to be hated... decided liao... hmph!! and tj is having the integrated prog for the sec sch ppl?!?! FAINT.... we are not even good enuff and we wanna act smart to have this IP.... so diao-edz.....argh.... i am realli at one of the lower pt of my life now... better set off to mug now... :( later shu coming mi house to mug overnitez... sigh... so sad....

depressed...but guess i'm back again...

was pretty upset abt certain shit stuff recently.... *yifern...ming..u know wat i mean* well... was realli quite depressed.... esp when things just all come to me at one time... hmm... i've decided to take the negative way of approaching all these stuff though.... so i am dumping them all to the back of mi head.... and TRY TO focus hard on mi a's .... it's realli getting on mi nerves... i feel stressed... i realli know nuts about chem??!! and mi phy is 'put'?!! onli maths i am sorta confident??!! sigh... i think dr teo's tuition is realli good man... i used to hate maths.... but now i am loving it... it's the onli paper that i do and i wun fall asleep as compared to the others...wahahha...

quite happy i picked miself up... (at least i think i did?) ms wong ws just changed chem remedial to 12... well done...got more time for mi to prepare mi work... den later in the evening got coaching.. sianz ah.... feel so sick of coaching suddenly.... no more passion liao i guess... den tmr morn got phy remedial... den on fri... mi ruan3 mian2 mian2 de4 mian2 hua1 tang2 (hui jia) is giving mi organic chem tuition!!! ahahahahah... giutz(= goot = good)..... wahhhaa...i realli desperately need to chiong chem... argh... and gp... i am so afraid i wun score well... sigh... all these while i haf just been fighting so hard to scrape by the passing mark.... and this time for prelims... i got 53%.... and 54% is the B4 grade.... SO WELL DONE LOR!! diam it....mi gp is soooo like 'put'... y cant they just focus more on chinese instead??!!

sigh...back to chiong chem now... ytd at da ge's house i managed to complete like 5 out of 6 or 6 out of 7 questions of the paper 2.... wahahahha.... yawnz... hope i dun sleep.... :p

sobsob....

just lashed out everything to andre on msn... i was soooooooo sad all of a sudden again.... sobsob... i wanna get out of this shit... but i can't.... i wanna mug for a's..... but i can't.... i can't help but think.... i hate miself.... for thinking abt this person who dun even give a shit abt me.... :<

YAWNZ......

so slpy now..though i slept at like 10 last nitez?! diam it.. i am a real total pig lor... ate the chocolate yifern bought for mi ytd just now during lecture... heehe.. thanks yifern.. oh..and help mi thank ur mom for the purse and dinner ytd.. wahahhaa....

was back in mi depression mood ytd.. mi mom went back to hk and i started thinking abt rubbish again... :<>

ytd after sending off mom at the airport.... i went back home and went to collect back mi CPU from dr teo... he reformatted everything for mi CPU and now he's working on mi bro's.... goot... den after tt went to meet yifern, her mom and bro at expo for the robinson's sale.... wahhha.. everything was realli diam jip lor!! ahhhaha... den after tt went dinner with them at bedok central and walked home after tt.... found mi bro at the arcade and offered to buy him dinner and meet him at home... wahahhah... i am such a nice sister man.... hehehe.. :p oh well....wat to do... it's jacchow wat.... ehehhhee....

sigh... damn sianz now.... gg to go canteen chiong phy ppr.... or else ms wong gc gg to come after me liao.... :<

thinking about...

i am suddenly sooo INTO korean drams and movies.... sooo lovey dovey..... yet touching at the same time....esp with quan2 xiang4 yu3 in it... wahaha.... but everytime after watching...i will get very emotional and start to think alot.... thinking where's he when i needed him... he was not there when i needed him when we were still together... not to mention now... he hates mi.. he dun even wanna be frens... everytime i go back to the north.. i will definitely pass by braddell.... den all mi memories with him will rush into mi mind.. i feel helpless... it is an involuntary action...

no one understands how it feels.... cos everyone out there thinks tt it's so easy to just forget someone like tt...esp when they think it's like so long (abt 1 mth) ago liao... PLEASE!!! 1 mth??!!?!!!!!? i am not as heartless as u ppl out there are..... or sld i be putting it this way... i am very sentimental??!! at least...much more sentimental than many of u ppl out there.... so stop giving mi tt irritated tone tt i sld haf already long forgotten bout him....this is the main reason y i stopped telling u ppl out there abt miself... i orginally dun like to tell ppl mi stuff.... i may be loud... but ask urselves... how much do u all know about me?!! pls... u ppl know nuts.... and now i am just revealing some of mi inner thots to u guys...... n yet u ppl out there just give mi this kinda shit attitude...

i will nv trust anyone out there anymore... not anymore.. u ppl out there all just sux downrite to the core.... i thot i had opened up alot already as compared to mi previous self... but now i've realised.... tt actually... keeping mi individualistic mindset it still the best way out for me.....

i realli heck liao....

sigh....prelims is like a total piece of shit... if i can just like.... get 1A 2AO it's called a super big big miracle liao lor... sianz... i dread gg to sch cos i haf to see those shit papers with big red crosses and zeros all over the page.... diam it totally.... a's are like in one mths time?! and i feel so unprepared.... or at least... i guess i am not willing to put in the effort ba.....

alot of shit has been gg on and i just dunno wat to do.... been cleaning mi house everytime i feel shitty and i just wanna get away from it.... it's like running away..but wat can i do?! face it and CRY???!!! mi tears are already soooo worthless tt even i miself dun even wanna see them anymore... :<

max sent this forwarded mail about God's love to us... at the end of the msg... it said i was supposed to send it to someone and not keep it.... so the first person who came into mi mind was him.... i clicked on 'forward' and typed in his email add..... and i felt a sudden rush to just ask him at the back of the mail... 'wat on earth did i do to deserve this from u... u like it alot with ppl blocking u on their msn...ignoring u here and there issit?! haf u ever spared a thot for mi feelings?'

sigh...but in the end...i backed out... i din wan to.... or i sld say.. i din dare to... oh well.... yeah... now i am like soooo no mood to do anything... shit stuff just jie3 zhong3 er2 lai2.... i realli heck liao... -_-

the terminal

watched the terminal with wan ah choo and shiqi today after chem mcq.... ahhaha...it was a reali good good show... it's basically abt this guy whose country got into some internal politcal affairs while he was on flight.... den when he landed... his visa and passport were not recognised by the united states due to the political unstability in his country... so he had to stay in the airport for the time being..... of cos...finally he managed to go back home... but the realli touching part was tt he went to new york city to fulfil his dad wish.... to get this autograph from this guy who's jazz band consists of 57 ppl.... the guy's dad already had 56 before he passed away....so this filial guy decided to fulfil his dad's death wish... :> so goot... den of cos..there is the romantic part of the story too.... whereby he met this super pretty air stewardess and both of them fell for each other...but the air stewardess knew they cldn't be together cos the guy was a realli devoted guy who believes in true love kinda??!! and the gal was sorta one of a flirtatious kind...... sigh.... you3 qing2 ren2 bu4 nen2 zhong1 cheng2 juan4 shu3.... so sad.... :<>

DOES TRUE LOVE EXIST?!

sigh...i am thinking bout him...yes...again... :<>

tmr i will be gg morning trg...den go ntu with yifern to meet jingyi and check out some courses there...den gg afternoon trg...after tt meeting ming for evening movie b4 heading for home.... goot.... packed day...hope i dun haf time to think about him.... i realli hope so....

da ge & marcus chow: it's all in the mind.....

da ge said this to mi thru some sms i think...marcus said this to mi b4 our phy ppr 5.... oh well.... so i guess i gotta be more sensible and matured to get miself out of this abyss... :<

terrible terrible....-_-'''

ARGH!!!! I HATE DOGS!!!!!! diam it totally.... guess wat sia....on sat evening... after watching yifern swim for her ivp the whole day... i went to meet ming at orchard to haf dinner b4 gg to her house... den we saw bryan chan at heeren after dinner and so he gave us a lift to outside his house there.... den mi and ming decided to walk to her house from there.... den freaking shiatz... we were passing by this long stretch of road when suddenly this mad dog came dashing out at us from some side alley and started barking at us like mad... it was like realli tt kinda horrible disgusting fierce dog.... ready to pounce on us tt kind??!! it must haf thot tt we were trespassing or smt and decided to come attack us.... freak... mi and ming were like so scared-ed lor!!! we dashed to the road side where many cars were zooming by us..... hoping that the dog wun come chasing us..... we were like realli panicking??!! wondering whether to run or just stay there with our white faces..... so in the end we just stood there and thank God..... the dog ran back into the alley.... after that....we hurriedly walk and ran as quickly as we cld and till we were like about 300m away from tt side alley..... i turned back and to mi greatest horror.... i saw that mad dog chasing us AGAIN from behind!!!! freak!!!!! i almost wanted to faint & when i told ming tt the dog was still chasing us... we burst into a mad run....screaming at the same time and ran into the middle of the road to flag down a taxi.....sadly..... no taxi wanted to stop for us and we just kept running IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD till we finally saw the dog run back into the alley and tt was when we got a taxi too.... diam it totally..... i hate dogs.... argh...whenever i see them...they just love barking at mi.... freak it..... sianz... after tt stayed over at ming's house and mug... den next morning went to haf lunch with her family and den bought her bro a belated birthday present... wahhhhh..... yup....

sigh.... actually i feel quite sad now...... ytd i was toking to ray online... den he told mi that it's natural that he din wanna patch... cos he leaving for aus next yr liao and he din wan mi to wait for him.... den ray also told mi that mi and him break hor... is just a matter of time... cos he's realli quiet and it's realli hard to communicate with him...... moreover we always quarrel.... sigh.... well done lor... fortunately da ge was online and so i just lashed out everything at him... wahhhha.. oops...thanks da ge for being there.... :> but still... i felt so hurt... sigh.... it's like 12.50 now? and phy paper 5 is starting at 2pm...sianz... think i go canteen search for some food first b4 mugging.... wahhhhhahahaah.... :>

YIPPEE!!!

wahhaha....just finished phy paper 3?!??! and i am now in the com lab checking mi stuff... eheh.... end of terrorism.... now's left with design ex and chem mcq!! yeah!! hahaha...i seriously hope i can hit the 1A 2AO requirement lor... sianz.... ahhaha...after thurs... i am free from prelims!! though a's are still coming up...but who cares lah.. i need a great great break from all these shiatz... ahhahaa..... hmm.....but poor da ge still has his 2 S papers...well....serve him rite though for being so smart!!wahahah... bleah.... I HATE SMART ASS-ES!!! wahahaa...

hmm...next sat will be mi and ming's party!! awhhhha... all those invited must come lor....... we invited like quite a few polo ppl and we are all gg to stay overnite at mi amk house and play mahjong and polka cards....whaahaha.... i hope bryan can get the $150 strawberry shortcake from his mom's restaurant though.. i miss those strawberries!! wahahaha.... yummy....but b4 tt...i am get san chin and evan to come help mi clean up mi house first... i haf a feeling it's so dirty till like dunno wat.... haven been in there for quite some time liao lor.... wonder wat's the condition there now.... wahhahahh.....

sigh....i feel sooo freaking fat!! diam it...wonder how i am gg to move in the pool sia.... on thurs after mi chem mcq.. i am gg to go swimming trg!! eheehee... and swim swim swim non-stop man.... decided.... lose all those bah that i haf gain over the month... come to think about it... it's been like 1 whole mth since i swam??!! gosh... and i hope to get into ntu thru swimming (cos mi grades confirm cannot make it) next yr... haaahaa..... mr yam (teacher-in-charge of ntu) gave mi the ntu track top last sat during this yr's ivp!! whahhaaha... it's so cool sia...and i seriously wanna stay in hostel and room with jingyi man... hahahaha..so shiok... though i haf this yu4 gan3 that we wun be able to mug with each other ard... but oh well.. .haahahha.. who cares!!!

hmm...come to think about it....i hope to do smt sports related.... maybe smt like attaching miself to triathlon association?! hope they can give mi priority since i was an intern with them b4??!! still rem last yr...i was like promoting membership for them!! awhahha....though tiring...but felt such a great sense of achievement when i earned so much for them thru mi membership promoting...heheheehehe...or maybe as a pe teacher?!?!! gosh... but i can't stand miself gg back to sch again!! no way man!

sigh... alright....back to mugging though...later in the evening still got coaching man... sianz!!! argh.... i hate coaching.... so troublesome like tt... sigh.... guess i am not good at coaching ppl.... or at least... i dun haf the passion for teaching... i think it's just better that i do smt individual... ahahahaha.... 2 more days to freedom!! YEAH!! :>

SOS...jiu4 ming4 ah.... help help help....

diam it totally.. just finished maths ppr 2 and i am now in the com lab again... sigh...the stiupiadz (stupid) com at home is soooo damn screwed up lor.... freak freak freak.... wat's the meaning of this man... can't even type mi blog.. sob sob.... oh well... toking bout maths ppr 2... today's stats was like put lor... diam it totally.... question 26 and 28 were like literally blank!?!?!?!?? and i cld actually integrate wrongly till i realised that stiupiadz careless mistake like 15 mins b4 the end of the ppr? luckily i changed it in time.. but still..diam it lor..... so totally careless....

sigh... somehow or another... i thot i had forgotten him... but den ah...while i was doing tt maths ppr just now... i suddenly thot of him leh..... freak.... den ah.... it occurred to mi tt since he has already deleted all mi testimonials for him on friendster and blocked mi on his msn... y sld i still give a shit about him?!?! he's nothing more than a childish brat and i feel so silly to get upset over him (though tt's something tt i used to always do).... i bet he threw away all the letters and mi diary i had given him on the day we broke off liao..... sigh... y can't he just appreciate certain things tt i do?! i wun say i am totally goot or wat... tt will definitely be a Z cal that lies in critical region and i will reject tt hypothesis immdiately.... but still.... i feel so upset tt he took mi for granted and treated mi soooo shiaty-ly....sigh... alright....watever....

glenn says he needs to go buy some present thing... shall go with him and jie3 jie3 men4..... :> heheh.... ah san is like always too engrossed with doraemon and totally has no time for mi and chin chin... sigh... chin chin ah.... now that u so free must bake for mi blueberry cheesecake k??!! heeheh.... i love the one u baked mi last yr for mi bdae.... and qian2 qian2 hou4 hou4 in the 2 yrs tt i've known u... u've already baked mi 3 cakes liao!! wahhha... u reali too nice to mi already... quite touched when i recall all these small (but not exactly small) things tt u do for mi... mi mom was like....

'WAH..... UR FREN BAKE U SOOOO NICE CAKES DEN U NV SAVE SOME FOR MI TO EAT AH??!!'

wahhaha... oh well... ask her fly back from hk to eat ba... hehehe.... oh...and i wld wanna thank da ge for his prayers last nitez (hmm...actually can call it this morning also lah).... whahhha... i somehow miraculously remember some of mi stats stuff today.... wahaah... i did stats first... and so surprisingly i actually know some shit bout differential equations today.... da bai hor is black one lor... den today dunno how come manage to prove those 2 bang saiz..... goot.....

wahhaa....ytd was supposed to be mugging and dieting... but den i ended up chatting with yifern on the phone for like an hour plus plus and drinking soup and eating bread thruout the conversation... gosh... FAT BLOB LIAO.....diam it.... ahahhhaaa.... den help joseph did his phy promos ppr last yr.... freak... it's like sorta easy?! alright.. shan be a biatch...but i solved them like quite fast..... like 30 mins plus? WAHAHAHA...... first time i can do phy questions w/o getting stuck at them for like 15mins??!! afer tt den i started to chiong maths.... sigh......

gotta mug hard for chem mcq and phy ppr 3 next week.... i dun wish to haf another FFF for prelims.... :<

PRELIM'S SOOOO SCREWED!

now in com lab.....sigh... just had chem paper 3.... best thing is that mi and san onli know tt paper 3 is everything including food chem onli ytd after phy.... we thot it's just food chem onli lor... perfoot(perfect) liao.. diam it... sianz... so as usual of cos... i screwed up today's chem ppr 3.... 10 essay questions... organic and food chem is called go and die one.... sianz... so let's just say 40/100 is gone for sure... and given mi kinda F standard.... i think if i can get like about 15/60 (which means 15/100) for the rest of the paper is considered realli not bad for mi liao... diam it...

oh well... computer's spoilt... freak.... den joseph and jing xian wanna come tj next yr... joseph is mi bro.... by hook or by crook i must get him in... even if i haf to make deals with the principal (just like wat i had bargained for in prelims...wahahaah)....as for jing xian... he will glorify mi swim team... so i gotta get him in no matter wat too.... hmm....and i realli think i too rough liao... diam it... was just cleaning mi bro's (joseph) specs for him this morning when i realised i had actually rubbed off one of the nose grips... wahhaahhaahh.... siao liao... freak... alright... shall get him a new pair of specs when i get mi pay from desmond...

talking bout desmond... we haven met for damn long liao... but nvm... the longer we dun meet... the more he gotta pay mi when he meets mi... wahhha.. goot.... perfoot....now's prelims and i dun even feel like gg coaching... but oh well.... wat to do.... freak.... sat i think i go look for yifern pass her the adapter ba.... den shun4 bian4 go bishan there to get a new pair of specs 4 mi bro den shun4 bian4 go collect letters from my amk house....

oh ya... mi mom says that next year after i graduate... she's gonna sell away bedok and amk house and get a smaller apartment for mi and mi bro... cos she dad and johnny already migrated back to hk liao... so left mi and joseph... but joseph is going back after his ns... so i will be all alone here... so dun need big apartments... so maybe 1 or 2 room flat will be good... ahhaha.. i like...cosy and warm!! ehehehhehe.....den mom's gonna get mi a car so tt i can travel ard more conveniently next time.... shiok... but well..if joseph gets into tj (though tt's not reali likely cos he's in srjc for yr1).... den maybe still stay in bedok ba... or else.... MOVE HOUSE!! yeah!!! den can clear away much rubbish and haf a real clean nice neat house.... hate it when things get messy... wahaahha.....

sigh... i sometimes realli wonder when i can fully get out of this shit lor.... it's been a mth liao yet i still dwell into it?! wat's wrong with me!? freak... i hate it when i cry or feel sad... does he even give a shit bout mi now?! NO!!!! so y do memories still linger in mi mind!? i can't even focus properly on mi studies... sianz... shiatz...argh... who cares lah....

psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

i shall leave mi fate to Him and i realli hope He can bring mi out of this soon.... think bout happy stuff now... hmm.... mi and ming gonna organise this bbq at mi amk house after prelims!! gonna take a big big break off man... wahahhha... den chiong a's after tt.... san chin and evan confirm invited.... bryan ada owen gerald sw damian also confirm invited... den *ahem* they all also invited... wahahhahaha.... goot.... den gonna all play mahjong and cards whole nite long!! wahhaaa... but mi house so freaking small...i wonder if can accomodate so many ppl or not... freak....aiyah.... who cares lah.... small warm and cosy!! ehehehehhe... alright... think i shall just shuddup and go home now to mug maths for tmr.... sianz..... maths.... :<

hungry 'giraffe' festival

now's like the hungry 'giraffe' festival and everywhere's having tt stage performances kinda... so freaky and scary... sigh... i realli damn scared of these kinda 'giraffe' stuff lor.... hai... mi computer's like spoilt and i can't type mi blog at home...can't delete mails etc etc... just totally screwed... sigh... wonder wat's wrong with mi??!! diam it... everything also so bu4 shun4 xin1 one.... :<

oh well...now at ming's house...gonna mug overnite with her.... brought phy to mug....got phy paper 1 and 2 on monday... feel so freaking dead lor.... dun even think i can like pass it?! freak.... haven been thinking bout shiatz stuff lately.... though on monday nitez i think i was crying like mad... cos memories just rushed back and i cldn't take it.... sigh... wish i can get over it realli soon man...

oh...last sat...i left mi phone at amk house....so after i went san's church.... i decided to go back to amk at 12 plus (midnite) to gt back mi phone... wahahha... den da ge decided to go with mi so i took a taxi from bedok and went to da ge's house to pick him den went to mi amk house... reached there at bout 1am...got mi phone liao den i decided mi house is too dirty like mad.... so mi and da ge started cleaning up mi house at 1am.... (mad liao) whahahhaa..... yeah.... den while he was being mi 'maria' (maid)....i started playing mi piano.... wahahha.. just when i started to play 'fur elise'.... da ge suddenly stopped vacuuming and said to mi... 'eh...later ur neighbours think ur house haunted'.... FREAK lor.... i am like damn freaking scared of those kinda stuff one lor... den anyhow come and bullshit.... freak... den after tt we left mi house and walked practically from yio chu kang mrt station (mi amk house) to novena mrt station (da ge's house).... wahahaha... den stayed over at his house as i was practically dying anyway.... and da ge had nowhere to go but the living room (cos i took his room)...wahahaha... oops... solleh da ge... ehehehe... oh well.... den next morning went expo with chin chin to the giant and popular sale... wahahaha...toked so much rubbish... ehhehe....

sigh..... i wonder when mi com can be alright!!! freak.... feel so tired now but i know i gotta mug mi phy... can't disappoint ms wong rite?! sigh.... off to bathe den mug liao...sianz... :<

THE WORLD IS ENDING !!!!!!!!!!

The world is coming to an end... Jacchow's comp isn't listening to her .... hiakz... that's the end.... she can't blog......

Please be patient with her comp.....

Jacchow..we're waiting !!!!!!!!!!!
_________________________________________

My little testimonal for u

Jac> You're the most lovable friend one can ever have.... So thoughtful & caring towards everyone...

Known u for so long ...But got closer only in recent years... It's a pity that some humans don't really treasure your presence ....Hiakz .that's juz because others dun appreciate what's distinct in u. For GOD created individuals to be unique, I do hope you'll find someone who truly appreciates & care for u.

In the words of Len Wein : A true friend is someone who is there for you when they would rather be someplace else.

Thanks for being one.

-yifern-

BEST SEXUAL SKILL?!?! goot...

ch-ch-ch-ch CHECK IT OUT!! - http://www.kwiz.biz/showquiz.php?quizid=2123

What Is Your Best Sexual Skill?

Name - chow chung shan jacquline
Age - 18
Sex - female
Sexuality - straight

Flirting Skill Level - 85%
Kissing Skill Level - 59%
Cudding Skill Level - 1%
Sex Skill Level - 97%
Why They Love You = You can do amazing things with your tongue.
Why They Hate You = You are too sexy.

freak....found this on frenster bulletin... and i was trying so hard to copy the html onto here...but obviously... i failed terribly... whhahhaa... wat's cudding by the way?! goot... anyway... had 1 to 1 chem remedial with ms wong ws this morning... hhahaa... goot.. den khong guan biscuit kept msging and the phone went buzzing (silent mode) ard and i was soooo LK.... diam it... well...suay suay he is younger than me...and wat made is worse is tt he's 15! freak.... i haven fully gotten over that shiatz and i seriously condemn guys who are younger than mi(esp those born in 1989) or from sa... suay suay he fall under one of the main category... so BLEAH(saliva spitting all over)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hmm...den saw pom pom yiming lisa ratt in sch.... pom pom skirt sooo short lah.. dunno who she wanna attract also...freak.... ahahahaha.... better set off to slp now sia.. den wake up later to mug... sigh.. diam it..

RoNaLd SuSiLo!!!!!

freak freak.....shuai4 ge1 ronald susilo and chiobu li jia wei gonna get married liao... freak... sooooooo envious of this couple.... lang2 cai2 nu3 mao4.....jian3 zhi2 jiu4 shi4 tian1 sheng1 yi1 dui4 long2 feng4 pei4 lor!!!! sooooooooooooooooooo envious... goot...... ah!!!!!!!!! i also wanna get married!!! den be tai tai no need work.... get away from shit stuff like PRELIMS and A LEVELS!!! diam it.... tmr's phy prac and i dun even know the venue and the time... freak freak...

ytd stayed over at ming's house to mug!! wahahhhhaa... den we spotted so many of the sajc shuai ppl with the help of mingrui (ming's bro)..... diam it!!! sa got quite a few not bad one lor (in mingrui's class...whahahha).....wat bout tj!??!?!?!?! freak......totally pathetic..... well..den mug phy prac till 4am b4 we went to slp.... den morning wake up went for facial at ming's mom's salon.... freak... those beauty consultants keep saying mi and ming's skin like put..... cos we keep swimming and tanning ourselves den say we nv bao3 yang3 properly.......diam it.... nvm.... ming ming!! we gonna carry out our 'perfection plan' after our major exams k??!! ehehehhehehe... :> sigh...off to mug liao...sianz....

CONNECTION'S BACK!!!!! wahaha..

goot...perfect...totally awesome... wahahha....finally got back mi internet connection for $10... the guys came and fixed it for onli $10... goot...totally perfect... whahhhha..oops... revealed mi jip jip jipoh auntie side... whhahahaaha....oops...too happy....and today they announced the com for the year one swim team!! goot... as expected.....

cap = yiming
vice = alex ko
welfare = jia jie
treasurer = jipoh dong

wahahhaha.....goot.... hmm...i guess all the year twos sld be rather satisfied with this combination.... but alex ko gotta work on his 'public speaking' since now he's the vice-cap and he will be the one making all the announcements....goot....and stupid yiming today was saying tt i am sooooo rough...violent...totally like a guy!!!! FREAK!!!!!!!! fine....

yiming & chion chiat: no wonder u can be the 'guys-cap' lah

FREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i dun deny the fact tt i am violent...but i also got wen1 rou2 the side one lor.... diam it... fine...u guys can just carry on with all ur rubbish...can't be bothered with u guys!! ahhaaha... :p

tmr got phy rememdial at 11...den meeting da ge for lunch maybe.... wahhahh...today suan him like mad bout pig intestine... hehehehe... :> so mean of me...but well.... hahahaha..best wishes to da ge and pig intestine!!! hope they you3 qing2 ren2 zhong1 cheng2 juan4 shu3.....goot.... and i am sooooo falling in love with avril lavigne's MY HAPPY ENDING! it sooooo wonderfully depicts wat happened to me!!!! sigh....

My Happy Ending

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

[Chorus:]
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

[Chorus]

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

[Chorus x2]

-avril lavigne-

NO INTERNET CONNECTION!! FREAK!

diam it totally..mi computer broke down and now i can't go online...freak freak freak.. now in sch..supposed to be having maths remedial though...(hiak hiak...wat am i doing in the hub?) ahhha... anyway.... dong and pom...we must force tt boobs to wear tt nude bra we bought for her lor.... it's how ex and den she just anyhow dump it one side... freak!! aahahhaha....

hmm....smart little fifi... i linked u to mi blog liao....so i gonna check on u when mi internet connection is back!! waahahahha..... oh.... and mi dear evan! how can i forget u ah??!! hahhahah... mi u chin san are one clique remember??!! wahahhaah.. and ur pink nail polish still with mi!! ahhha..remember we shared one together??!! ahhaahaahha...pass it to u soon man!! eheheheh...

but diam it lah...no more internet....so I...RRItating.... freak...den dunno y sometimes just keep thinking bout tt shiatz....sobsob.... but i haf been quite happy these few days cos mi mom was back and she sorta like bring life to that empty house.... sigh... but she's gone back ytd evening liao... sob... we took lotsa photos using san's camera.... but she will be back in september for some meeting again!! yes!! perfect... :> and mi dad too...den poor johnny will haf to be alone in hk by himself... :<>

p/s. how i wish i can just erase him off mi memories... :<

da ge's gift!! :>

ahahaha...da ge gave mi a cross pendant today! :> thanks da ge!!! hehehee... it's supposed to motivate mi to mug hard!! ahahah...i am wearing it now!!! gonna go bugis to meet mi mommy!!! :p

i dun wanna think....

sigh.. i just came back from amk....finished praying to mi grandmother... it's like soooooo chu4 jing3 shang1 qing2..... wat made it worse was that while mi mom and joseph were taking taxi home frm amk... we passed by braddell (tt's where kenryu is currently staying at).... den toa payoh (the place mi and him always hang out at).... and...last but not least..... ST ANDREW'S SCHOOL (tt's his sch).... darn.... i realli dun wish to think... and just went i thot i was getting out of that shit... i haf to pass by there....all three places along the same expressway.... am i just fated to dwell in tt shit for soooo long?! memories just all yong3 jing4 nao3 hai3 li3 and i cldn't help it as mi tears just well up..... sigh

i dun wanna know
if u're playing me keep it on the low
cos mi heart can't take it anymore
if u're creeping pls dun let it show
oooooo baby
i dun wanna know

-mario winans-

y do i haf to fall sooooo hard on someone like this.... perhaps i sld just be a freaking biatch being the heartbreaker instead of the other way round.... the feeling of being hurt sux... the feeling of being hurt by someone u loved soooo deeply sux even more.... and the feeling of being hurt by someone u loved soooo deeply yet he treated u like shit is hell.....

back to amk house....

i think i am seriously becoming a big big panda liao... sigh.. i am soooo tired yet i can't slp...today mi mom and joseph gonna go back amk there to pray to mi late grandmother... still rem she was knocked down by this stupid taxi at like 5 plus 6 in the morning...just opposite mi condo (far horizon gardens) at amk there.... and i was in india at tt time...asia pac swimming champs... so i cldn't come back to see her for the last time... dunno y....but i feel that i onli start to realli learn to appreciate mi grandmother onli after she's gone.... sigh... y am i like this? totally a biatch... maybe it's true that we learn to treasure things onli after they are gone.... :<

i am having a bad bad headache now....i realli lack slp.... but i can't...gotta go down amk soon to help out with mi mom for the cleaning up etc.... sigh...den gotta chiong tmr's phy remedial hw.... so stress.... next monday got maths remedial..den friday got chem remedial...and ms wong gc wanna see mi twice next week....sobsob..... tt shows how much preparation work i gotta do.... SIGH!!! can i just go and die now?! had this 1hr talk with mr fun today... he was like asking mi wat i wanna do in future and all... den he was like saying for fun whether i wanna swim 200IM for tj again next yr...i was totally like 0_0'''...... NONONONONONONO!!!!! firstly...i dun wanna retain!! secondly.... i hate IM......no way am i swimming for tj again if i ever retain.... freak freak freak... *touch wood*

today is supposed to be this swimmers gathering during break and lunch...den sickening-ly... all the yr ones cldn't come for the break one.....but nvm...we took some pictures (took with pom..chin...shu...dong...whole swim team together...hmm..still got alot more lah...) during lunch and celebrated shu hui's bdae... wahahha...we gave her a nude bra and made her hold it up to her ** to take pic but she refused...den created such a big joke in the canteen cos the nude bra fell out of the box and she just grabbed it anyhow and chucked it into the plastic bag.... wahhahaaha.... freak lor....it's like seriously damn freaking ex lah.... den she just anyhow like tt.... freak freak freak!! next time dun wanna give stupid shu things liao.... hmph!!

sigh..now suddenly i feel tt mi right calf like cramp like tt.... freak....so I...RRItating!!!! sigh.... i wonder when's the next time i am meeting desmond again... i wan mi pay!!! argh... i wanna save up so tt i can go for slimming centres after a levels.... i am like such a fat blob eating and eating non stop lor....diam it... and now no more swimming polo and running.... getting rounder and rounder each day.... FREAK!!!!!! now i know y he dun wan mi liao.... goot.... nvm... i also got phobia of tt kinda shit liao.... i wish i nv haf to go thru tt again.... sometimes small little memories are already enuff 2 make mi eyes well up in tears.... guess i sld just be a nun for the rest of mi life...... wahahaaha.... but no vegetarian food for me!!! tt's definitely not enuff for a big fat blob like me!! WAHAHAHAHA.... shall go search for food now.... :> ehehehehehehe....

prelims are coming!!!! FREAK FREAK FREAK!

diam it....phy prelim prac is next tues... and mi s.f....graphs etc etc all still like bang sai....freak....sigh..just came back from maths tuition....dr teo(tuition teacher) gave us this cd-rom with all the test papers in it...if onli i can finish them lah.... diam.....

da ge say i very long nv blog liao...very long meh??? hmm....da ge got pig intestine liao den dun wan his xiao mei.... he can go and die now... condemn... :p hahaha.... today ah san finally revealed her scandalous-ing to me... finally u confessed to ur adultry!!! freak!!! ahahaha.....dun like u liao....shall dump u now!! at this very moment!! wahhaha.... hmm..come to think bout it..i haven realli been feeling tt upset over him...just tt sometimes when certain things trigger some memories.... i will feel this stinging pain.....other than tt...guess i am moving on well...ahaha... all thanks to san glenn matthew chew n da ge's prayers... :> goot!

shu pon sch today...freak...i also wanna pon lor....sigh...den ytd ms wong gc caught mi for mi dyed hair (mi hair's like dyed since march lor) and sent mi to mr tong...freak.... tmr gotta dye it black or else i will be banned from prelims... seriously i dun give a shit... and i wish i dun need to take prelims lor.... piangz....and i totally agree with wat marcus chow and ah wan said man....

marcus:good teachers sldn't sabo their students...

wan:she sldn't catch u lor....it's dyed for sooo long liao...

ahhaha...okie...but in gp....we've gotta look at both sides of the picture... perhaps teachers just like their students to be guai and all..... but hello.....we dun live to be teachers' pets do we??!! diam it.....hmm..... now i feel like a y= ln x curve.... getting back to mi usual y = 3 curve soon i guess..... :>

hmm....one more thing....da ge da ge!! where's mi cross necklace?!?!?!?!??! freak..... even though u bang seh mi for pig intestine u also cannot bang seh mi totally one lor!! freak freak freak.. dun care...deadline by this coming friday...27/8/04...no procastination (is this the correct word?? hahhaha.... who cares lah...diam)... :>

thinking of......

just came back from bryan chan's new house..... FREAK... it's how big lah!! diam it.... got swimming pool etc etc.. i seriously think can get lost inside one lor...freak...den it's like...he got 2 dogs and 1 cat and i am like so afraid of them lah....esp that ugly dog called muggie or smt??!! scary lor.....kept pestering us for food??!! diam....hahahahaha...but i am sooo jealous of bryan chan's bed...so big....freak...mine's like maybe 2/3 of his bed onli??!! sianz....b4 tt mi ming and shaowei were actually mugging at shaowei's house.... den we decided to go check out bryan chan's new house..whahaha... goot....

took bus 7 home... sigh..on mi way back.... i dunno y but i just felt sooooo emotional.....den i just kept tearing.... sigh...guess i still can't get him out of mi head..... y?! i already dump all those shit stuff out of mi mind liao... y are those memories still haunting me?! there's no way i can turn back time....(though sometimes i do wish i cld)..but life just has to go on....pls...just stop letting mi dwell into that pile of shit again....today shaowei was telling mi how shit he goal-kept and andy chin kb him like mad.... seriously i know how tt feels and i felt rather hurt n upset for him.... wo3 bu2 shi4 yi1 ge4 rong2 yi4 na2 de4 qi3 fang4 de2 xia4 de4 ren2....i realli need time to get over this.....prelims are coming and i dun wish to get some shit grades like FFF again?! i am trying to mug...but y do i still see him lingering in mi mind?! it's an involuntary action.... sigh...

i love da ge's story book... :> and mi mommy is coming back to singapore for awhile tmr nitez...at bout 11 plus.... so i will be gg to the airport to pick her up with joseph... sigh... i miss mi mom dad n johnny... i am reali sick of leading this life without mi family members ard mi...all i haf is miself miself and miself....i cry by miself at nitez.... and sometimes when i fall sick.... how i wished mom was there to make mi some herbal tea etc...... it's been 1 yr 8 mths... gg to 2 years soon.... i realli dun like this lifestyle.... this kinda freedom is good....but loneliness has made mi wild...made mi depend too much on ppl i like (love).......pls.... let these memories leave mi for good..... i just wish to go back to mi old self....

hahaha....i was just feeling so sad when yiming msg this to mi on msn....

CHARMINGZ! says:
u nv mention me (in mi blog) at all one.....

CHARMINGZ! says:
some kind of fren..

hahahaa...tt realli brightened up mi day.... oops...sld be nitez...hahahaha....thanks ah ming!!! ehehehe...

evening church!

went to da ge's (eugene teo) church this evening at 5.... the service was singing hymns....praying..and preaching from the pastor... felt kinda nice after tt...learnt much stuff from da ge.... hmm...one thing is tt there is this belief tt christians can onli marry christians... cos for christians...they haf this 'higher standard' of life to live... to put it simply...it means our (unbelievers) standard of life is not as high so we will tend to pull those believers down if we marry them.... hmm....da ge gave mi his 'story book' (bible) finally....was reading it on mi way home.... quite interesting...hahha...hmm...ah fern din go cos she din know da ge....so dunno whether she wanna go matthew chew's church or not... but she tmr got trg..so guess not gg tmr morn ba....and i liked this necklace of marcus (i think...da ge's church fren..)...and i asked da ge help mi buy..den he say he might forget....diam it.... he onli remembers wat pig intestine wants... FINE MAN!! got pig intestine liao den xiao mei not important liao....da ge bias...piece of shiatyz bang saiz.... freak!!!!!! dun care da ge anymore...

hmm....tmr mugging with shaowei and ming at shaowei's condusive house.. whahha...goot....i must mug!! chiong for good progress award.... hahahha..... i feel so much better after going for wat christians call 'service'.... but i seriously din know a single hymn lah...so LK!!!! gosh... all that st nicks taught mi were like sooooo different from those sang in the church.... whahhaa.... okie..shall go for more service with yifern den learn all the hymns... hahhaa...

shall go read the storybook da ge gave mi after playing online mahjong!! whhhhhahahaah... hmm..wat shu say is reali rite...i sld haf gone church earlier.... just like wat she did.... :> thanks boobs for ur great advice!! ehehee...

freak freak freak freak freak!

i need to go to a church...preferably someone who is close to mi is in that church...i need someone to preach to mi... i need some sort of jie3 fang4 from everything tt i haf just been thru... sigh... oh..and i signed up for grad nitez today.... can't believed i sign it up for ah boobs... u better be appreciative lor!! biatch... read ur blog den i feel so bad for not gg grad with u... but luckily ah wan going with mi...or else i confirm wun go... rather go back hk and shop!! wahhhaa...

super freaky like mad!! diam it... today tt stupid joseph fr outram sec went to send mi this 'gunbound ver.2' file..it was actually this freaky scary pic of this woman with bloodshot eyes staring rite out fr the screen with tt scary sound...freak piece of shit lor!!! wah lao eh... i was like how freaking scared lah...screamed like mad den mi bro thot wat happened...now i dun even dare to slp lor....diam it... actually last time kenryu got tell mi b4 bout this pic... den the pic will just stay there and ur com is like hanged?! so u gotta face tt pic till u restart ur com... he got damn a shock tt time also lah... but i told him not to send the file to mi... now suay suay this stupid joseph (same name as mi younger bro somemore..freak) come and send mi...i was like how pissed with him man!! diam it... FREAK!!!!

today did that gp mock exam...almost died man... den was talking bout ah tong and ms norsheha...freak!! actually i like ms norsheha alot lor...den greg was so mean!!! making fun out of them.. and den zihao and fifi were laughing like mad... goot!

hmm....san is such an ass...bang seh mi and chinchin for her doraemon.. wat's so good bout tt chinese-look-like-malay?! hmph!! san!! u gao3 da4 le4 wo3... yet u still dare to haf concubine outside... sobsob...

yifern ah yifern... dun be so upset over tt person...cos i guess it's just part and parcel of life?! so well...we gotta move on yeah? hmm.. and ah ting ah... dun quarrel with ur mom liao... :> i feel realli slpy..dunno y... somemore suay suay tio tt thing... cramp like mad... and cos of tt i was late for sch today... sigh....

ah san... i keep thinking bout that person... how?! gosh.... cannot cannot... no more getting into shit for mi...i am now reali skeptical bout relationships man... i think guys who are lesser than or equals to mi age are soooooooooo childish man.... freak! so no accepting of guys who are same age or younger alright??!! (this applies for ah san too!!!! so...say 'no' to doraemon now... u already haf mi lor... how can betray me??!! freak! chin chin too... ur tt one ah...cannot cannot!!) hahahaah....kk..think i sld just shuddup and go and mug....

y|t|ng r0x!!!~~~!!!~~~

aWww, it's killg me, lookg at my honey feelg so upset n yet i cant do anything to reduce her agony...cheer up yeah~? tis entire posting's for ya. chowchoW!!! how i miss ya after our parting today...hehe...C'mon...keNRyu's juZ a trash...no pt dwellg n yearng for him...he's juZ a jackass...aLwiZ rem tt true luV does not cum by findG e perfect person, but by learng 2 c an imperfect person perfectly. luV's a fire, u cant tell when it's gona warm u, and when it's gona burn ya down. i might haf hurtZ ya earlier in e afternoon by tellg ya to retain some morsels of pride in urself...i'm sorrie...but it realli hurts to cya like tt...it's nv too late in life/fiction to revise...recap wot u've chosen wrongly...get it str n u get e right catch next time k? dun b depressed, not worth ur while. A guy who only noe how to take in ur sacrificial n dump ya aside after he's got everything is not worth a tear...get it? aNyw, i reaLli duN uNdErsTaNd gUy'S tOts, thEy'Re uNfaThOmaBle. tHey kEpt iNsisTg tt We'rE e hArd One 2 PreDiCt, AwwW...lOadS of sHiT. y SaY i"vE tOnNes of fLinGs WheN i oNli bEar My heArt oUt 2 ya? y sAy u LoVe Me wHen u'Re tEsTg mE oN e OtHer End. crapZ. nVm' darN iT!
i LuRve ya...chowchow...guys r basterds...

this above is written by mi beloved yiting from nyp!! wahhah... ur blog very touching leh... heehe...

today went to play pool with ming isaac and emily... den emily's head got hit by the table...gosh... it must haf been damn pain cos em was tearing?! cld tell isaac was like soooo lian2 min3 her?! wooo.... such a nice nice bf... hehehhe.... em....u must take care k?! hmm...den ate at pasta cafe or smt at taka there with ming ming... thanks for the treat pretty babe!! hehheeehhe..and dun forget our date next sunday k?!?!?! *muacks*

ytd went to play pool with ting and mi beloved younger brother... hahaha... he thrashed us sia.... freak!!!!! after a's must chiong pool like mad!! haahhahaa.... today crapped with ming bout post exams activities... freak... too tempting... must chiong like mad now man... den can enjoy later!! eheheeh.... off to mug now!! :>

i |0v3 p0m p0m & m|Ng!!~~!!~~

hey pom pom...thanks for ur BEAuuuuuuuutttiiiiffffuullll make-over for mi blog.... hhahha... fr originally a bang sai shiat now become big big chio bu liao... :> hehhheehehe.... (to everyone out there... now mi tag-board is beside mi most current posting... below 'my past memories' there!! heeehhe...so go tag tag tag tag tag tag tag tag tag.........) :p

i will get over that piece of rubbish shiat asap to repay dearest pom pom.... and nice chocolates from cocoa trees for u too... heehhehe.... so cool leh... st andrews is somewhat sponsored by cocoa trees lor!! freak... when will anybody come sponsor tj??!! gosh.. sigh.... tj is sooooo LK lor.... freak!!!!

not forgetting mi beloved ming ming too!!! thanks for that fantastic testimonial!! ahhaha.. i bet mi teacher see liao confirm know is not i write one liao... mi england where got so goot like urs??!! wahhhhaa.... dabai (hokkien = everytime) E8 lor...hhaahh...

oops... just realised actually i got alot of ppl out there for mi!! :> so blinded by that shiat tt i forgot everyone ard me(oops..so paiseh now...heeehee..) thanks ah san... glenn goh.. matthew chew and many more for praying for mi... a great great *muacks* for all of u.... :>

it's all over....

i just called him to settle things once and for all... i told him i know he feels that i am pestering him and that he's avoiding mi and all... but i still asked him to meet mi tmr and he refused... he say if i got things to say den just tok rite on the phone... so i just went ahead... asking him the reason y we broke off.... but den but he cldn't give mi a proper reason(he say is cos i suggest it one.. and that watever i asked wun change anything)... and he told mi to give up(as in stop pinning hopes on him)... so i asked him the question that i always wished to haf an ans to... that is... 'so u dun like mi and will nv like mi again issit?' so he said 'ya'.... and i thanked him for being so frank....well..that's the end i guess... hurting...very hurting in fact(tt i know very clearly now)... but life goes on....

ah san..i guess at least things are clear now... i can fully give up hope already... at least glad that things are clear now... ah wan and boobs....thanks for telling mi tt he will 'crawl back to mi' etc...cos tt gave mi hope.... and help lessen the pain at that pt of time...

to all those out there reading mi blog and so clueless bout wat's gg on... so sorry i wrote mi previous postings in such a vague way.... well...i will come clean with all of u now... mi and him break liao.. on the 7th of aug... and it's a clean break.... i guess the onli hurting thing left is that during our last phone call.. he had to be sooooo irritated with mi... i guess i haf realli cheapened miself to the limit... all morales and self-esteem gone... i am totally in this pile of shit now and i feel that i can't get out of it.... things will nv be the same again for mi i guess.... all i can say is that it's all god's will... and i hope He can get mi out of this soon....

nO3s nT itZ oWn d3pTh, tiL` E hR o SEPARATION... says:
i dun wanna u dwell on him

jacchow says:
can u pls just like help mi stop mi tears or smt?

nO3s nT itZ oWn d3pTh, tiL` E hR o SEPARATION... says:
it's juZ a guy

nO3s nT itZ oWn d3pTh, tiL` E hR o SEPARATION... says:
i'm not saying tis cos i tink u're not serious

nO3s nT itZ oWn d3pTh, tiL` E hR o SEPARATION... says:
e pt is i noe u're god damn serious...tt's y i tell u it's not worth it

nO3s nT itZ oWn d3pTh, tiL` E hR o SEPARATION... says:
lve urself some morsels n pride honey

to mi dearest yiting... all i can say is that i haf no more morale and pride already...so sorry i disappointed u....i din mean to...

tag board and links??!!

gosh.. just had a tag board on mi blog... it's like rite at the bottom of the page?! freak.. how can i change it??!! pom pom.. must help me... sigh

i was feeling so tormented when i realised i cld blog it all down.. dunno y but i suddenly once again haf the urge to kuai4 dao1 zhan3 luan4 ma3... settle all this once and for all.... sigh... i realli envy all those sweet loving couples out there... ah san... must give mi support k... sigh... and i wanna link everyone to mi blog!!! how am i supposed to do that??!! freak... somebody help!!! ahahha... :p

outing at cs......

wahhaha.. today went out with san and raymond (san's church fren)... hmm... quite fun... walked ard the whole century square... den went to this bubble tea shop and talked rubbish... sigh.. but all the while i was like thinking bout him? and i felt realli upset.. when can all this start all over again?! guess this day will nv come.. but somehow or another... i keep pinning hopes bout tt... dong4 xin1 rong2 yi4 chi1 xin1 nan2.... liu2 qing2 rong2 yi4 shou3 qing2 nan2..... guess this is realli an apt description for him..... cheng2 jing1 de4 nuo4 yan2 yi3 yan1 xiao1 yun2 san4..... dan4 wo3 que4 chi1 chi1 de4 xiang4 ge4 bai2 chi1 yi1 yang4 qi1 pan4 zhe4 ta1 de4 gui1 hui2....

li3 qing1 zhao4 wrote this poem which i studied it b4 in chi lit... it's realli sad cos her husband left her? as in..he died lah.... and i think it can be used for mi too??!! hahaha... well.... sigh.... anyway...ah san... he's not bad a person.. :> heheheehe.. *hint hint*

well... ting ah... thanks for ur comment... gave mi light for the day... heheehehe....i know wat u are capable of... ahahhaa..but dun lah... small kid... relax lah... i mean.. not as if there was anything bad and all happenening to me... it's just a small thing.. i think for now i still can take it... cos u will know it when i can't take it... i will go back hk... i wun come back ever again... at least not for a couple of years.. u know me... i dun wish to trigger any memories... i just wish to lead a 'y=3 curve' life... :>

oh...and ah san ah... u better post mi more comments ah!!! no more excuses... wahahhahah... and den i can reply u guys on mi next blog!!! :> eheheheeeehehee....

yu3 guo4 tian1 qing2 le4 ma1?

'love hurts. loving someone who doesn't love u back hurts even more.' -yifern-

thanks chin chin for ur note... gonna go sandra's house to watch singapore idol tonite! hope to forget all this shit that's happening to mi now... argh... stuff miself with notes... books... food... and become a totally smart pig.... wahhhaha... gonna get good progress award man... WAHHAHHAA.... from FFF i guess sld be able to improve ba.... wahahah... :> i love mi frens... all mi frens!!! :> and mi mom dad and brothers too!!! heehehe..

quote of the day

"he brings me sparks of light, however transient, in my world of dark nothingness" -ming-

this is frm a gp pro... she gave mi this quote... :> thanks mian2 yang2... hahhaa... now i know y he is so crazy over u liao... hhahahaa... i just hope everything will be fine for mi... though i know things can nv be the same again... i wish for a peaceful life.... with just a maybe y=3 graph? instead of a -x^2 or sine or cosine curve.... i rather lead a boring dull life rather than having to enjoy it for awhile... den fall rite down into a bottomless pit (like now) and i haf to struggle soooo hard to climb out of it... i am tired.... realli tired...

ah wan rocks.... she nv gets tired teaching mi mi phy and all... and she is just so smart... y are ppl ard mi just so smart?! freak... mi dearest bro johnny...joseph....shu... wan... san...ivan ong....eugene teo...matt chew... kenneth cheok... jingyi... yifern... isaac... em... even ray!! like just practically from sch till swimming till polo... everyone i know just seems to be sooo smart!!??!?! gosh... y dun i just go and die now man... throw face.... freak...better go mug now sia... sigh.... feel so tired... :<>

pang2 huang2

i am afraid of slping.... everytime i wake up i feel empty... i feel as if i haf lost mi life....(not just soul)... but i realli feel tired.... ytd went to mug with wan and shu at airport... goot... finished tutorial 63... den saw ivan ong...mi gosh... jian4 gui3 le4.... hahaah... well... ivan ong said this to me....'guys are heartless....' and 'they bu4 chi1 hui2 tou2 cao3...chu2 fei1 cao3 hao3 chi1 cai2 chi1'.... well... i am definitely not a nice-eating grass den.... and this realli left mi thinking for the rest of our mugging time at the airport b4 we went off the terminal 1 to eat and went home to zzzz....

to my dearest yifern..

one more thing to add.... dear yifern... thanks for being there for mi today... this entire blog is for u... u've been a great great fren... listening to all mi rubbish... wahhahah... oh...and help mi thank ur father for tt swensen's treat... gosh.. i feel super bloated now.... hahahaa.... and... u dun think too much bout it too... we both just gotta live with it and move on!! 'just put down the phone and get on with it...' i can't believe this phrase was sent rite into mi ears yesterday nite... well.... heartless as it seems... it just tells us one thing.... GET ON WITH OUR LIVES!! haahahaa... :> love ya yifern... :> take care....

lost.....

lost... due to the limited amt of gp knowlege i haf... i guess lost has onli 2 meanings to me? one is lost... literally lost... in a sense u dunno where u are and u are like crying for ur parents!! (tt's wat i always do when i was young... crying for them when they are like just at the next lane of the supermarket..) well.. the other meaning... is wat i am feeling now... totally wandering ard aimlessly.... i feel totally outcasted by the world...... lost all mi morale... (though i dun realli haf much in the first place) sigh...

today's national day? well... at morning 1am i was still tearing like nobody's business?! sigh... 29th apr - wonderful day(mi birthday somemore)...... 7th aug- lost day..... totally lost..... i feel like i am just an empty shell.... soul-less..... and i realli dunno wat to do.... all i can say is thanks sandra.... i love u.... thanks for all ur prayers.... i guess god realli heard u?! hahahahaha... i fell asleep like soon after i msg u.... :>

today went filming at tp.... so sad...it's the last day already.... and i took pic with all the female actresses today... :> heheheehe.... well...cldn't help but think bout it.... (THE FILMING WAS AT TOA PAYOH LOR...) sigh.... anyway... it's going to be the last time i am ever going to step into it.....at least till after a levels? well.... tt's if i ever wanna continue playing polo after a's... cos i am realli sick of all those political shit there..... mi wan shu gonna form our new team... we will take part in open league and beat everyone up!! whahahahaha.... oops.... trg will be at csc!!! shu better bring us in man... den we 3 jipoh aunties can go enjoy all the facilities there... :> heheeheh....

sigh... gonna mug overnite at the airport tonite with wan and shu... i realli gotta chiong... mi grades are realli like bang sai can?! help... SANDRA!! help ah!! i feel so dead man... and i dunno wat tests there are this week?! gosh... first time i am like panicking for any tests..... argh!!! feel so dumb....(esp when ah san is mi good good fren...) freak!!! aahhaahaa.....dun like ah san....everytime so smart... nv study also thrash mi in every test.... bleah!!!! kk...guess i gotta stuff miself with food and notes and forget bout all that shit that's happened to me! i realli gotta get out of mi 'sec 2' mentality and move on to a new 'jc 2' mindset.... thanks emily for ur msg on ur blog... hahahaha... so glad that sooooooo many ppl love mi out there... wahahahaha.... oh well... ah san... must continue to pray for mi k... i realli need u.... and i seriously think someday... i sld go to a church or smt... wat st nicks taught mi (as in how to pray) seems so different from wat u all teach mi.... ahhaahha...oops ..... well... after a's is a real good time i guess....

kk...i sld stop all mi biatching and get mi ass off to the airport now and mug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sigh... still that 2 words... LOVE SUX.... -huijia-

heheehehe....

wat's love?!

well....2 words for it.... LOVE SUX!!! now at bryan chan's house with like sooooo many ppl... wahahha... enjoying life sia.... goot.... well... reali glad that i had yiting with mi today.... and ming too!!! ahhaha.. now i feel much better... though i do still feel a little hurt etc... but guess i need to haf that independence and mature mindset to get miself out of this abyss.... (so much to say... yet i just can't bring miself to go thru all those tears again... so.... i shall just leave it in miself... just like wat he always does.... :>) hahaha... learnt this new word from yiting today!! :> goot..... must chiong all the way for mi gp sia... ahahaa.... and i seriously feel that the onli few ppl who knows wat shit i've been thru are like... ting... ming... ah wan.... biatch... sandra... isaac!! emily!! well....realli thanks to all these ppl tt i am sorta 'recovering' fast?! ahahaha... xie4 le4 ge4 wei4!!!!!!

well... i just hope i can still make it for a levels... as in... it's still not too late?! sigh... gotta realli settle down and mug like shit.... gotta realli force all those crap into mi pea brains.... :p sigh... kk... think i shall try and get started to mug a little now.... hahaaaahaa..... bleah!!

sigh..

i realli feel sad....damn sad...damn damn sad....damn damn damn sad now.... at the same time... stressed....damn stressed... damn damn stressed....damn damn damn stressed too.... a levels just sux... y mus we mug.... mug mug...mug mug mug..... y can't we just live in a world with just love....more love.... and more more love??!! y must we study?! y must we feel sad?! y can't we just enjoy life?! 'LIFE IS SHORT. LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST'... is mugging and feeling sad living life to the fullest?! freak.... i dun wan....

sigh... sometimes...certain things are just meant to be....those that are not will nv be....the chi version is smt like this i think... 'ming4 li3 you3 shi2 zhong1 xu1 you3...ming4 li3 wu2 shi2 mo4 qiang2 qiu2...' ahhaha... not bad...mi chi still quite pro... sigh... i think i am realli super immature and stupid in mi thinking.... i desperately need to grow up and learn to accept the way life is.... anyway... i've made this 'decision' regarding ** just bout 2hrs ago.... i hope i can get out of this shit soon... everyone out there check this out k??!! ' sch students should not date!' wahahhaaha.... oops.... think glenn they all gonna box mi liao... :p

well....just got this new pod lite plan!!! wahhaha.... 700sms for $10.50 onli!! jip jip jip!!!!! and mi new no. is 98396896... wahahhaa.... so everyone... msg mi more on this no. k?!?!!?!?!? sigh.... so sorry biatch....wan.... yiming... and everyone who went yiming's house ytd.... sorry i bang seh-ed all of u... din mean to.... reali sorry... smt cropped up... and i was realli upset... needed to be realli quiet and sort out mi thots.... so paiseh... hope u guys enjoyed the voldka though.... next time i promise i make u guys nicer drinks that yiming made for u all.... WAHAHAHAHA.... yiming dun box mi hor.... :P

sigh...so stressed!! i scared i can nv make it for a levels... today was mugging bouyant forces... i just cldn't settle down!!! Freak!!!! damn it.... was trying so hard... all i got into mi stupid pea brains was just 'upthrust = weight of fluid displaced'..... argh!! y am i just so dumb?!?!?! can anyone help me?!?!!?!?!?!? gosh.... i realli feel stupid like mad.... can i dun take a levels?! it's causing mi great misery... everyday grounded in sch till 730?! freak.... and i gotta get DEF for prelims or else mrs lim will make mi retain for sure.... for all mi jc life i haf been getting shit results lor!!! let's see....

JCT (june common test) 2003 - F O F F
PROMOS 2003 - D O F F
MCT (march common test) 2004 - F O F
JCT 2004 - F F F

see the pattern???!!! but well.... there's smt to be happy about though... i passed mi gp for the first time in mi whole life for JCT 2004.... whaahhhah.... sianz... think i better prepare mi stuff for tmr's make up.... oops...actually is later in the morning.... 830- 11....physics...freak...in lt3 i think.... sigh.... better go chiongz now..... :<

wAtErPoLo!~!~!~!~!~!

wahhaha.... just read biatch's blog.... reminded mi of our polo match ytd... freak! we won...but it was seriously badly played.... shouted at all mi teammates yet nothing was done... now mi voice like breaking liao... freak!!!! hmm... wat can i say? ytd the teacher-in-charge for rj kept shouting 'white's ball white's ball!!' den wan ling told mi she damn buay song when she heard tt so she shouted back 'blue's ball blue's ball!!!' wahhaha..blue...that's us! tjc!! feel so bad for shouting at dong... fifi....shu....ger...hippy kit....wan... basically the whole team!!! but den...we all played like shit lah... and seriously... miself was the worst!!! mi gosh... can't believe that i tried so hard to get foul yet the referees din wanna give it to me.... freak!!!! acted soooooo beautifully sia... wahahahaha.. opps... :> anyway... we won...tt's smt worth celebrating... but i feel tt we realli reap wat we sow...

firstly... all of us turn up for trg and those we din kenna kb by mi and shu... secondly...we bother to train up ourselves in sch during pe and after land trg.... thirdly... we had like freaking alot of tactics etc lah!! hahahahaha... hmm...so much to tok bout ytd polo match...

rj's match was like real fighting?? as in those kinda in wrestling ring.... wah... den kenna punched by mel wu.... den teh yilin kicked me!!!! freak!!! and b4 the match i was like telling everyone to take action onli if they whacked us.... damn... we were like so nice yet they so mean!!!!!!! freak!!! den val chan scolded the 'F***' word cos i attacked her after 3s and she rebut that 3s was not up yet.... watever.... anyway.... i felt that the refereeing was rather biased? they were like all from rj??!!(they were the champions for the 1st and 2nd inter-sch polo championships?) well... anyway... tj is the champions now... at least for the 3rd and 4th championships... wahahah... hmm....as for the sa match... wah piangz.... kenna scratched by alicia.... and now mi face still got that small scar there.... freak!!!!!!!! hmm....all these goes down to matthew chew!!! wahahahh..... oops.... he told them to attack us if we attacked them.... but den fifi was telling mi that rite from the start of the game... her defender already started to sink her liao... den someone grabbed boob's hand too.... and i was scratched!!!! all neo pet and matthew chew's fault!!! ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I...RRItating!!!!!!!!!!! well...it's all over...and i wld like to thank mi cg 20/03 for gg down to support us... pom pom hair...jia jie...serene and most imptly.... mr alex fun for his long-awaited presence.... wahhaaha... like making announcement like tt.... after the whole match... we went to take pictures!!!! and we took this pic where all of us made that act-cute face serene always does... wahahha... hippy kit's one was damn farnie... and shu just gave her stupid 'eeeeeeeeeeeeeee' face!!! act cute!!!! wahahhhaha...

toking bout announcements ah... ytd was realli the most throw face announcement i've ever made... ah wan supposed to make it... in the end... dun even haf script.... freak!!!! so mr fun was like... 'aiyah...u hurry just go make it lah...' den i just anyhow anyhow and forgot mi lines.... THROW FACE!!!!! freak!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LK(lao kui) in front of the whole sch!!! den jipoh auntie and pom pom was like making fun of me... freak!!!! so diao-edz......

hmm....went to eat duck noodles today.... with ah boobs...supposed to be mugging.. in the end we just tok and tok non stop.... ahahaha.... freak...tmr we gonna pon nat day celebration... and be total real muggers... hmm....so proud of miself today... finished the whole tutorial 62 with ivan ong's help!!!! mi gosh... in like less than 50mins???? goot!!! perfect!!! ahahha....later gtg chiong mi phy and chem tutorial... and i better go make arrangements to meet up ms wong(S) and mr ngoh.... i desperately need help.... hmm... and matthew chew said he wld help mi ytd with mi maths....goot.....now got extra help... so if dun understand wat mr ngoh teach.... stupid matthew chew better be there....

wah....actually i just realised i got alot of helpers.... hmm...at least dun feel so stressed now... but den!!!!!!!!!!!! i feel soooo lag!!! munpun ivan ong and weicheng are like so far ahead for tutorials!?!?!??! damn...feel so shitty now... i seriously better do smt bout it man!!! sigh...gtg mug now sia.... argh!!!!!

stressed!!

today went to mug with boopies and ah wan.... halfway ah wan left...so mi and boobs just continued doing our work.... damn...felt like slping thruout sia.... ahhahaah... anyway...den went to the indian theatre there the macs to mug... and we joined this loyalty member thing for macs... wahahaha... next time shall go eat macs with him!! heheeehe... :> after tt met ah wan again... we ate like mad sia.... first ban mian...den fried carrot cake... den boobs tio constipation... wahah... freak... eat more fruits lor.... ahhahha... feel so stressed now actually.... boobs asked mi maths questions....seems easy but when i actually try them... it's like..... i just 0_0'''.... stunned.... simple stuff yet i dunno.... freak!!!!!! argh... and now i am like writing this rubbish instead of mugging... AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! feel so lost.... realli wonder if i can make it for a levels or not.... he better come and push mi on and give mi motivation and encouragement man.... argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate school.... damn....

hurt

sigh..... stop being pissed with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! u will nv know how much u hurt me.... realli.. u will nv know... i am seriously on the verge of giving up already u know....

upset

why do we always need to end off soooo badly? sigh...one party will always give in while the other will take tt for granted.... maybe i sld just listen to ada and ming and be less giving in.... :<