Many things happened these few days, especially when it is time to choose the next route I wanna take. This week had been a difficult week for me emotionally.
Firstly when I received my results, I was very disappointed with my English results. I thought I would do better. However it is through all these disappointments that I saw how much the people around me cared for me. Isn't it true that only through situations you will be able to see and experience the best of what your friends can give you? :) Oh well, I'm thankful for who I have around me. People like lifegroup and Stephanie!
I got one point behind her, and that determines alot since she passed her hmt and I failed it. She can make it into a jc, whereas it would be quite hard for me to get into one. (excluding Innova, ofc) Therefore, I had to abandon the dream I held on to for 2 years - to get into a JC. I came such a long way, from never thinking about JC to wanting to get into one so much. Now I can't even think about it. I really don't want Steph to make the wrong decision by following wherever I go, therefore I applied into Poly and pushed her for JC.
I felt so lonely and afraid all of a sudden. I remember throughout the whole week I was imagining how much she would just forget about me and then we will become not as close as before. I was also imagining Steph to be the shy girl at the corner and not daring enough to start a conversation with others. I really want her to persue her dreams and not give it up just because of me. That was what I felt.
Until today, when she told me she suddenly felt scared and worried about separating from me. Then I realise how strong this friendship is. :') She said she was willing to give up JC to come poly with me. She convicted me that our friendship wasn't just a normal friendship where I could give up easily. Ofc, I would want her to choose correctly and not coming just because she don't want to separate from me but because she wants it and she would enjoy! :) I want to be able to help her to decide wisely, I must not be selfish and pull her to where I will be!
"Sorry, i'm really sorry. :( That I cant walk the journey after secondary school life with you. I feel so sad out of a sudden. I cannot imagine life without you. Maybe because I relied too much on you. If I continue I'm gonna cry already. Baobei. :(" Was what she told me that made me so touched!
And I asked her if she really want to sacrifice jc for me, and she said yes she is willing to! :') Where to find such a good buddy? But I know I can't just let her go poly when she have the chance to enter a jc! If she is posted to jc, I will persuade her to go there! There is where she can excel, isn't it so? :)
Me to her: Hey baobei! Don't be silly! You have the chance to enter a jc, why not! Hey it's not like we will separate forever even when we go different school! We still must keep in contact and be as close as last time kay! Jiayou for your future endeavors! I will support you wherever you go and whatever your decision! I hope you can enter a jc and earn yourself a good A level result! You know, having those smses is already enough for me! :') I was still quite worried that I am the only one that feel that loneliness and sadness! I'm already satisfied when you said that you're willing to give up jc for me. It is already enough, really!! I'm okay, really okay! :) Jiayou okay! <3
