Possibly the only good thing I'm addicted to...

Okay, I gotta confess.

Although, this might not seem like news since my range of blogging topics is even more woeful when I update so sporadically, I know. Or maybe--oh wait, I'm on the verge of getting off track...

Right. Back to the possibly not-so-new newsflash:

I am addicted to group exercise classes. And I mean addicted.

Like I feel I'm this zombie with a crappy attitude when I don't go the gym at least once a day. Which basically means I don't feel good unless some muscle part of my body is proclaiming "I'm going to ache like a whiny bitch today."

But! I think I've reached my goal of being able to 10 full-length push-ups now!!

I say *think* because honestly I'm not quite sure and my arms are still in recovery, so I can't exactly test it out. You see, for the Cardio Sculpt Interval workout during our staff in-service/training on Sunday, we had to do this sequence of exercises* and increase the number of repetitions by one more after each time through. I started collapse-rolling over into my crunches after round 3 and then just flat-out collapsing in my push-ups after round 7.

So probably I'm just inflating the number to make myself feel better, but I know I can definitely do 5 full-length, 100% proper push-ups!

Anyways. This is a BIG deal, I tell you, for a girl who used to flex her arm and people couldn't tell she was flexing. And then upon closer inspection, they could push the muscle it down.

With one finger.

Hm...I need find some people to play some pick-up [basketball] games with because if I could be the shooter with those sort of arms of back then (and I was trained to shoot with the ball above my head instead by the ear, go figure), then MAN! I oughta be on fire fiya now, haha.

Okay, now I'm getting distracted again. I should probably get back to my work anyhow so I can go to bed at a decent hour tonight. I stayed up late finishing a looooong "mini" grant proposal and didn't crash into bed until 3:20 AM this morning.

YET, yours truly still went to her group exercise class today to have her butt kicked.

And we think old habits are the only ones that die hard.

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*jump back into a push-up, jump up into a jumping jack, squat with 8 lbs weights in lifted arms, push-up, forward crunch, knee-high jumps. REPEAT.

Short and sweet pleasures

THE LIST.

Things that made me happy today:

1. Teaching AM yoga, power yoga, and subbing for pilates (although my abs are not going to be as happy about those 3 hours come tomorrow morning!)

2. Double-cappuccino cheesecake...twice.

3. Another 3 amazing hours at Head Start--I'm not supposed to, but I can't resist picking these kids up. I'm always either having my fingers held in their itty bitty hands as they drag me somewhere, my hair being played with, or someone (or two!) crawling into my lap.

4. Re-watching an Audrey Hepburn movie

5. No classes tomorrow!

6. Having tonight for myself to do nothing productive...and indulge in anything I want.

Squee...zed out.

Adrenaline junkie.

My professor said that in passing today…and I think I just might fall under that label. I survived that darkness of a burn-out experience once, yet I can’t seem to stop myself from pushing my limit again. Hi, my name is Joanne and I am addicted to the rush of new experiences.

Except now my packed tight schedule has close to zero flexibility because it is scheduled so back-to-back “perfectly.” Ha! Just remind me to pencil in a love life somewhere...

Anyhow, this week’s new commitments include:

1. Two hrs at a local Head Start.

Finally! I get to work with the cute-cute age group, haha…not that the rambunctious adolescents of last semester weren’t fun, too. But instead of snooty judgments on my fashion choices (“Long-sleeves with shorts? Interesting…”), I get to be an attention-magnet for 3 and 4-years-olds, who love my hair or shyly tell me that I’m “rewwy pwetty”!

Man oh man, I’m that easy.

2. Deciding that my body muscles have adjusted to teaching 3 yoga classes a week and thus, need more stimulation [belated memo from jo’s aching thighs: WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!] I promised a friend to attend a group fitness workout with her in between our classes on the days I don’t teach yoga. Then, only after Monday nearly killed my legs, I figured I found my edge for this week already…or so I thought.

“Uh, is Wednesday’s class more intense than Monday’s?” I’m almost afraid to hear the answer.

She nods emphatically, “But it’s really good…and if you come, I promise I’ll make it to your Thursday class.”

I groan in defeat.

…so now, I just hope I can still walk come Friday.

And you are?

I do believe it’s been a month. Miss me?

Well, I definitely missed blogging.

Chidings for unceremoniously giving the blog the cold shoulder wouldn’t be undeserved, but as even my closest friends know, I disappear over break, rarely seeing even them. It’s the time I set aside for self-recovery and spending the days with my family (with only a handful exceptions over the past couple of years). It’s always a relief for me to cut off the cell, the relentless email, and my time-consuming laptop…it’s almost as if disconnecting ironically allows me to re-connect myself.

Oh, but it’s certainly good to be back, as hectic as Life will soon undoubtedly become again.

There was a delay because I wanted to make sure my new self-hosted (using Siteground thanks to Cooper’s recommendation) Wordpress site was presentable first. Yes, you read that correctly. The laid.back Buddhist received a fully upgraded make-over. With a new color scheme, layout, and pages—I even switched up the quotes!

Now, it was supposed to be super secret until this post, but some of you have already discovered its existence. There are even people who subscribed to the new feed before I even got a chance to, which certainly worked on inspiring me to get a move on it! But just a heads up, there’s still some tweaks left (i.e. finish adding links, adding some plugins, etc).

Anyhow, I’m keeping this Blogger site up to prevent broken links (aka I refuse to lose my 200+ Technorati rating, ha). Plus, since it’s the New Year, I thought it rather fitting to have a completely new site, too.

Ahem. Of course, I realize that it’s been 2 weeks since Jan. 1st.

But! Luckily, the inherent procrastinator is also a laid-back Buddhist who celebrates the Chinese New Year.

Without further digression:

Welcome to the laid.back Buddhist 2008!

Come on over. =)

Simply Bribe Me With Food

Yeah, I'm that easy.

But it’s hard work, this work-hard-play-hard-eat-hard thing.

This week marks the transition from being a sedentary university student with jet-lagged days of sleeping, studying, eating, and skipping yoga to…being my mother’s daughter.

And it’s killing my calves!

Before Vy starts throwing Facebook cows at me (again), let me explain...

I haven’t played basketball in months and usually when that happens, I make-up for it by running on the ellipticals at the gym for an hour, 1-2x a week. But then this year, I got lazy and decided that going to the gym once (sadly, if even!) a week for yoga would be enough.

Yeah, not one of my brightest ideas.

Understandably, my body protested the whole Thanksgiving week in Taiwan—and sore muscles paired with lack of sleep is a surefire way to put a girl in a cranky mood, which is not the best way to spend a vacation. So, I refuse to have déjà-vu torture this upcoming week when we, as my mom jokes, continue to conquer Japan (Sapporo is in the works for the Spring/Summer).

That means re-building my leg muscle. That equals painfully hard work.

It all started Sunday. One brutal, sweat-filled hour of dance sport with Todd (aka Cutest Tush Ever). Feeling overconfident, I decided to bake stuff (in addition to all the usual household chores I pick up when I come home). Toss in cutting my own hair, my sister’s hair, and cut/dyeing my mom’s hair…I’m spending a lot of time on my feet.

It’s enough to induce me to skip 6:15 AM yoga. More than enough.

Unless, of course, you bribe me with food.

This morning, my mom bought a 6” mango cake from Whole Foods. And tomorrow? She’s going for my weak spot: their pumpkin pie.

Mmm, and it’s totally going to work, you know. I didn’t get to eat pumpkin pie or pumpkin cheesecake for Thanksgiving, which is something I look forward to every year starting in October. Therefore, it’s quite safe to say, I’ve been having this unsatisfied pumpkin craving for over 2 MONTHS!

I’ll be damned if I don’t wake up tomorrow at 5:30 AM to go to yoga.

That pie is so mine.

Contentment is not Satisfaction

I’ve been distracted. From writing.

It’s a temporary affliction, I assure you.

With finals week looming over my head, my current life mainly consists of alternating between my studies and rewarding myself with episodes of Korean dramas/movies. So, I haven’t really had the time to focus on blogging. And instead of writing before bed, I’ve taken up leisure reading, which is something I NEVER do during the academic year. The current book is a whim (a collection of poems by Rumi) that I picked up from Barnes & Noble over the weekend.

However, it’s not so much distraction as it is dissatisfaction. My thoughts are in chaotic limbo, so please...consider yourself forewarned.


I scolded him when I wrote back the other day. For being bored in Darmstadt.

I gave him the quote from my dad on how the world is like a book, urged him to “read more lines,” and joked that he was seriously being jipped if he—especially with the thirst for activity I know he has—didn’t take full advantage during his stay. I also wrote that it takes me awhile to build a new heart so he can stop asking if I’ve met anybody new, thanks.

Truthfully, even if I did, I think it'd be difficult to make work.

You see, during this time I’d be too suspicious that I was just exhibiting rebound behavior or something. And I must confess...that’s also the reason I haven’t gone clubbin’ at all this semester, believe it or not. You know how I once wrote that the darkness of the night reminded me of him? It’s because I often spent the evenings with him and even when separately with our friends, we spent a good amount of our nights together. So, I knew that this new start of not having the option of his arms to hold me afterwards would crush my heart, flat out overwhelm it with loneliness and/or longing.

Yup, and that concludes the impromptu sob story of why I stopped going to nightclubs on weekends.

Honestly, the appeal has totally been lost and I don’t know if it’ll ever come back since I can satisfy my dance urges at private parties with friends or rockin’ it out alone in my room to all my favorite songs.

On a side note, not partying it up as much as I used to has saved me a shit load of money. Once, my mom even asked if I was secretly working a job on the side because (1) my money market account, for which the account statements are sent home, has been growing faster than usual and (2) she already knows I don’t like receiving a monthly allowance, especially since it keeps increasing (“To keep up with inflation!” she claims). For someone who has never had an allowance growing up, to suddenly be given so much money after entering college still bewilders me.

Another reason, I’m what most people would call…cute when drunk. Think of it as my normal crazy impulsiveness in happy overdrive. I’ve also a tendency to be very, very...friendly. That sort of uninhibited attraction is absolutely fine when I’m raising hell with good friends (gets diffused amongst us) or when my heart is already engaged (gets channeled towards that one person). Otherwise, I fear the alcohol would make me do something my self-esteem would probably definitely regret. So, I’ve taken care not to put myself in situations where rebound behavior could possibly come out and bite me in the ass (if you haven’t noticed, I tend to curse more when stressed from exams, too).

But I’ve digressed.

This post has drifted so far from the originally intended topic (see title for a refresher)… I’ll have to re-start this topic another day, as tonight I’m not sure exactly what I’m blabbering about.

Oh, and did you know? I remember the exact moment when I lose my heart to someone.

Sure, I’ll be somewhat unclear as to all the reasons WHY...in fact, I’m likely to drive myself crazy trying to figure it all out. But I know that once given away, it’s GONE and even if I could, I don’t want it back (ideally, I’d want that person to give me his heart instead).

And for that very reason, I’m scared.

Because I fear that if I see—in the flesh—the person who broke my heart, he could take this new one I’ve only just begun to re-build. I fear that, and it frustrates me as it means that on some level, I also don’t trust my heart. Or perhaps I am stronger, have come further than I think. However, sometimes I get to thinking...what if I’m more scared that in meeting each other again, I would realize I’m over him, over it ALL.

For if that were the case, it means I can’t use nursing-the-broken-heart or still-hung-up-over-the-past-heart to cowardly guard my heart away in oblivion.

So, maybe all I know for sure is that…I’m never going to be sure.

And maybe, just maybe, for now that’s good enough.