hmmm.

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Not ~~Le Xuan~~ anymore, i'm afraid.
Not anyone much anymore.

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✏ Life so far

<$BlogDateHeaderDate $> @ 12:06 AM

Oh lorde page long post is gone damnit

I wish I could see my eyes dance with an indescribable happiness again. I hope it'll reflect yours.

Grrrrrr there's still homework undone and no late start day for me tmr and did I mention how bloody blogger lost my post sigh but what's more important than taking stock of life huh?? Right right??

Tmr's the 9th official day of lessons time sure is coursing by quickly (think of a water body). Orientation was gr8 with M1~ we may not be the loudest most enthusiastic funniest cheesiest og but what matters is it's comfortable cos comfortable is right. Hopefully we still have the chance to catch up over the course of the yearrrrr~~~

Can you even remember what comfort is? Hypocrite.

Had my share of worries too (hahaha it never ends) school subjects cca friends. Things are beginning to settle and I am thankful for the routine it is starting to form... you can't go wrong with a system (actually you can oh and in so many ways) but let me console myself a little first ok? I am left wondering if this will feel like home or if home ever was a place.

I have discovered the greatest paradox of all... I don't know how to explain something that could've been right, easily, but isn't.

I'm taking LCME and gp not ki... I'm here and not there; what's synonymous on both occasions is my obvious negligence in consdering that I was never good enough for either. As for ccas... I've made a promise to myself to do the best I can wherever I may end up. You don't fail because you can't do it; you fail because you don't try hard enough. Everything is within your capability if you try hard enough. And friends... I know I still care but I don't know if it's enough cos I'm definitely not enough anymore. I want to ask about you though... how are you?

Atm I'm still stressed over the above (wowee how often am I stressed over anything) and struggling not to be
1) lazy
2) apathetic
3) judgemental
4) arrogant
5) selfish
6) pretentious
etcetcetc (Ah you dear non-existent readers those are all my flaws right there please don't use them against me)
As well as integrate effortlessly into a wonderful new community so... it's about balancing being god knows how hard on myself and cutting myself some slack (I did not make sense back there) speaking of making sense I explained something to toh the other day and she understood what I was saying while I didn't. That, is true friendship, ladies and gentlemen hahahaha

Ok better sleep pt tmr ermahgerd~~~~~~~ and tell stephz I have a new post hahaha ok bye

I should add that it feels great to pen stuff down even if it's rubbish and i'll probably not read it or understand it in a long while. It makes me feel like I'm emptying out some space to fill up with more feeelings(?) I suppose. Anw I will probably never feel like this, in this moment again so why not provide a wider array of experiences for future references heeeh