Heyya <: should have blogged last week but ccome back from camp got uh camp lag then abit the lazy ah hehehe. watching MAMA now! not that crazy like other kids luh but still it looks interesting :b is MAMA always in singapore? O: and i found someone other than boob reading this blog ehhhh! crazy one i'm so boring leh xD but i still don't know who spacer is hmmmm. HI SPACER WHO ARE YOU TAG ME AGAIN LEH <: ahhh the person singing now sounds nice :P

anw, supposed to blog about the title on top ^^^ right but abit the lazy uh :P so COALs first~ COALs was fun :) FALCON'11 FTW :3 hehehe we are pro yay. yknow at first we had 12 people then 2 dropped out 1 sick 1 went home then left 8 people can damn sad. but we won best campfire performance yay pro or what :D must thank trini uh say our script crap then we changed but still we so cool ;) ooh miss A arrived. anw first day was low e and high e then camp craft and tent pitching! then dinner and pre campfire :) cos it rained then we nearly cannot try the rock wall then we did the hall one which was damn dumb can -,- we learnt belaying also and i damn scared just let go idk why heheh. then the rain stopped and went to try climb the rock wall :8 hehehe. abit the never go very far uh but still xD constance climbed all the way to the top man srsly! like some pro sdinvosnvo. aiyo the hosts are all talking in korean idk what they're saying :o hmmm then tent pitching ahh we pitch until want die man keep collasping one D; boob sure say we lan luh but still! inst amirah damn nice she taught me bowline four times! then dinner and shower heh inst andrea so cool 8) i think i took pretty long but constance took longer can!! heh. ok it's epic they're talking in english and replying in korean hahaha. anw michelle chia's legs nicer than the girl beside her! ok im veering off topic. then precampfire night all the groups performed not bad leh! gryphon and indigo not bad! and then day 2~ day 2 was funner! wilderness! went to bkt timah there i think heheh. tried abseiling! damn scary yknow~! the route up already damn scary then come down worse can like some free fall D: it's like belaying but the belayer is yourself. i bet azrin is screaming at home now hahahah. then we went trekking! instructors supposedly threw us in the forest then we must orienteer our way out but heng we never get lost <: then out door cooking!! after camp i'll never eat yellow noodles again man tastes like some crap luh eeeee D: then insts. were quite pissed cos we left without telling them but heheh. THEN campfire! leaders came back, and the campfire was damn fail haha i think they didn't soak the firewood that's why. then then alpha performed first, quite funny we all thought they'll win but i think cos they said what the hell D: then then delta! delta's one uhh, the humour is weird but it's there xD then finally ours ahhh damn embarrassing can dbsujvbeus. i totally screwed up my dance part damn sad hahaha. but olivia and viola damn zai :) then 3rd day odc again and clean up hehe. lazy elaborate ahhhh~ finally break camp instructors gave us some small gifts and gummiesss heh. then yeahhhh wanna go back again D; but there's always oac next year :3

k then open house on saturday! on thurs and friday had to go rehearsal then left training super early whoops >< open house was quite fun the PSLs all damn nice nicer than PCs! :B no im kidding idk but i made some new friends :) then idk why for some reason i like giving people tours or maybe oi just like repeating stuff cos i'm weird heh. then then i took the helium balloon!! and tied it to my bag and carried it around the whole dayyy searching for celine's present! then when going into the train the doors closed on the string then the whole thing snapped arrrrr D: i wanted to try suck the helium lehhhhhhhhh! eeeyer but i heard the balloons were exp O:

andddd celine's bday ytd! omg in the morning azrin called say wanna put the present in my bag cos her bag not big enough then srgn station CELINE WAS AT THE SAME DOOR AS MEH. damn scary hahaha i quickly run awayyy then at PL also she looked at my direction i thought she saw me omg. then me and azrin took to lavender cos we couldn't squeeze out -.- then we went bowlinggg the kallang bowl damn suck man so many problems one aiyooo. but first game was crappy then second game not bad luh :B azrin and jar quite zai! i got 101 not bad luh pass hehehe. then we went swensenssssss to surprise celine! but first must go stall time at fair price hahaha i met bunny :8~ then go up sing bday song and celine was so touched she cried yo ;b yayyy pass hahaha. she also quite gullible uh like meee! then eat and eat hehe her mum qing ke leh so nice :) felicia and nisa also came~~ then we went to watch happpy feet! cos puss in boots no space le :o happy feet was uhhhhhh like how all cartoons are luh yknow :p then aiyo after the moovie azrin dropped her phone then we went back to take *shakes head* that girl uh careless oneeeeeee. ok i'm damn lazy to type anymore hehehe

i like take a look at me now by greyson chance, the one that got away by katy perry and louder by chariceee and without you by duno who hahahah it'sa nice go listen! ok have a nice day byebye :p MYSTERY PERSON TAG AGAIN! boob cannot tag cos she in camp haha and the other reader uhhhh youuuu tsk :P

this is not a life; it's just an existence. save me from me hai. and you, why are you daoing me? cos i'm 忘恩负义? sorry.. sorry.. stupid apologies i know will never make up for anything. 我欠你太多了:( aish.

sometimes,

somethings just make you realise how much someone means to you. i don't blame for what you're doing. in fact, i don't even have the right damnit hahaha. and sometimes it is the right thing to do to wake me up. sometimes these methods are made for people like me. i rather you all leave than keep getting yourself hurt over and over again. comes a point where you realise it may not be so worth it after all. perhaps now, maybe now, why not now? now is better.

and one day, if you stop caring, just remember. i do care.

hihihihi.

hehe did i tell you i got into PSB?! amazing right they pajiao one how i become PSL hahaha. anw~ COALs in 2 days! excited :) kinda anw. auditions today! i think it went well :) i hope we get in man~ 2 days ago after trini said our script was crap we changed it and in 1 day and less than 10 full practices we've done a pretty good job i think. well done falcon! so proud of us :3 hehe. funny how it's so difficult to fill the space here than there. feels so different. ah and haven't finish packing nidovbeudbgveud i mean ahh barely start hehe. and i haven't even start my hmwk ohnozxc. but ah sian can :P AND LIT IS NOT OFFERED AS NINTH SUBJECT WHYYYYY. i really want lit yknow, when i heard that news i finall realised how much i actually want lit. but well ah i don't know still. screw you and your indecisiveness woman D: i'm exhausted but i don't sleep. i'm full but i continue to eat. life is irony at it's best.

haha i wonder if people have secret blogs too and secretly talk about me in their blogs. somethings i wonder but i would rather not know, such as this heh. maybe i'm afraid of knowing yea? and she who does not need to be named, hi! <: actually i really enjoy reading your blog yknow. i like all the annotations you dooooo. so.. fun unlike mine. and how you mention me in your blog sometimes :P i also always mention you what! rightright! heheh. and yes, i do i think. what that refers to? you may never know :P i did miss you.

sometimes i question myself so much i even doubt the very basis of my existence. simple things like do i really love food? or do i just keep eating out of habit, of just having an image to keep up to. i can't rmb the last time i was really really hungry. i think i constantly feed myself such that i never ever even manage to get hungry. i have brought myself to the epitome of weirdness and internal conflict. somehow i manage to doubt everything i do. i trust everyone but myself yknow?

i miss you, you, you and you. i miss us, but most of all i miss me. comebacksoon.

ok i am diving into some kind of sad emo pool again better stop nao. must be cos i went tumblr just now!!! D: kthxbai.

hoho it's been sucha long while huh. i should blog more if not next time not enough memories! D:

ah i was reading my old posts. i sounded really really childish. and lame hahaha. but oh i sounded happy too. well. wanted to have a feel of how i was like last time yknow heh. sighhh when i read some of my posts i don't even know what i was talking about anymore. ahhh life's been preetty horrible i guess :) but oh, no big deal, i guess i've been through worse huh. i think only boob still reads my blog can please! hahaha ohh the way i speak has really changed. i used to be so.. chim and full of myself just because well, i had the right to. heheh. but now ah i don't know usually i end my sentences halfway because i don't even want to talk. pathetic? haha.

anywayyy i got 5G for stream :) but have to check with HODs to see if i got MSP and lit too. sometimes i just want to go to a new class alone. without anyone i'm close to because well, it'd be all back to square one. where i (more or less) have a choice of what to do with my life haha. but if i really had a chance, i'd regret. i'm sure i'll become a loner due to my mere lack of trying to fit in. it's tiring yknow, really tiring sometimes. i don't like people. i find it a chore to make small talk and get to know them. i feel self sustainable. IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME D: srsly hai. nowadays i don't even try. but life isn't so easy to ying fu. you can't just say you want to stop playing like that. because giving up is ending your life and suicide is greatly frowned upon in many countries. hahah i'm kidding never thought of that. i ain't weak. or so i try to tell myself. mmm back to topic. me not trying results in making things difficult for other nice kids who actually want to play the game of life and win at it. so to let them i'd better just crack a smile at the irony of everything, comment here and there once in a while. pretend to be happy. learning to live with life. force of habit? maybe one day i'll believe my lies.

ah thennn, wai gong's gone forever now. last sunday 6th nov. rest in peace okay love you :) coals next week! kinda excited and not excited? heh. supposed to be doing the script now but abit the slacking here ah <: hehehe. haha it's dangerous for me to be blogging here i might just start spilling the beans on anything and everything. i don't like how i speak now. instead of finding myself i think i have to create myself now. 我真的真的找不到我了.. aish. i don't know what i'm living for now. stupid humans and their stupid mao dun-ness hahaha. ok i must be delirious or sth gonna edit script now heh~

muackmuack. comebacksoonyounoob.i miss you.