Today is 2011..Tomorrow is 2012

Salam 'alaik..

Alhamdulillah, today is 2011 and tomorrow insyaAllah 2012.But who knows if tomorrow would come.Just praying and hoping that tomorrow would come so that I would, we would, still be given the time to improve our iman and amal.

This morning,when I logged into my Facebook account, I read a lot of posts regarding new goals for 2012 posted by others. Is it just me who still have not think about it or what?huhu, seems like this exam has really distract my attention from 2012 matter.well,2011 is still here...so, hello to those who still haven't achieve what they want for this year ( I mean by 2011), you still have today.so, make full use of it to achieve your 2011 goals,at least you are one step ahead from your previous step,right?

Dear 2012,

I really cannot think of any goal that I want to achieve for 'you' right now. So, can I plan my 2012 goals later?maybe after the exam?even I cannot remember my 2011 goals.huhu...but at least I have made my goals for this year (Islamic year) during last maal hijrah.

I know that me myself needs a lot of improvements,but, here are some advice for celebrating this coming year, 2012. Goals are not to be planned and started only at the beginning of every new year.If you think it rationally, everyday we do have goals, right?So, plan your goals in accordance to your capability since that annually-planned goals would influence your daily goals.Do not be too overexcited with the coming of new year since we are not that sure of its coming.remember, that we do not know when is the Yaumul Qiyamah or the dooms day, and also the time of our death.well,remembering death is good as you will always try to improve yourself.maybe you could apply remembering death while planning your goals.Try to imagine that you only have 2012 left for you to live,what would you do?Is your provision for the Hereafter enough already?think about this twice, and even more.

I better stop right now.I have few chapters need to be done with including the delayed ones (the chapters that I planned to finish yesterday, but still have not revise them yet).By the way, my family is coming to Kuantan from KL today.Yayy!! Am praying for their safety throughout their journey here and back home.Also, always praying for their well being whenever and wherever they are.O Allah, please protect them from all kinds of evil!May with them here for this weekend, I will become more encouraged to study..insyaAllah..

Sudoku? tetttt......

Please read my previous post in order to understand this post...tq

Sudoku? TOTALLY CANNOT BE APPLIED.TOTALLY NOT EFFECTIVE. I become addicted to Sudoku already...huahuahuah..how can I focus on my study if it is this case???? seems like I have to get back to my very 1st method, alternating study with sleep... :(

Get sleepy due to ToO much of Reading?

Salam 'alaik..

Its exam season and I have my first paper tomorrow.Huhu,overall, I could say that all the courses that I take for this semester require a lot of reading and memorizing, not forgotten, understanding as well.

Due to too much of one-side-brain-usage only, I often easily get sleepy.It seems like my trials with my chocolate beads and coffee are not effective for me to get over the sleepiness.Instead, they are just making me even more sleepy just after I finish eating or drinking them.

So, I currently try to do Sudoku- after my chocolate stock is already in scarce,hahah..Just take a few minutes to complete a set of Sudoku while listening to calming music or preferably the Quranic verses-since we want to seek Allah's knowledge,so its better to listen to Quranic verses to purify our heart. After that, proceed with the reading. Repeat the same thing in every 10-15minutes of reading.

Well, it is till in the trial and not yet confirmed to be totally effective for me.But, if we think about the mechanisms, reading and completing Sudoku are like balancing the work of both sides of the brains.am I right?correct me if I am wrong..what about listening to the calming music or the Quranic verses?what are the significances? Well, researches proved that this kind of sound would enhance our brain's activity especially in understanding part.Plus, you will feel more calm and relax without stress with just that few minutes of break (by means of completing the Sudoku and listening to the Quranic verses)..I am trying it now..Lets try it together..and don't forget to put the trust in Allah since this method is just a mean, He is the One who provides the calmness and eliminates our sleepiness.. =)

Bi Taufiq wan-Najjah fil Imtihan,everyone!!

Currently,

Counting my CHOCOLATE BEADS=)

All great make-me-happy food

Salam 'alaik..

Guess what?I managed to go out for an outing yesterday.Yayy!! and again, Yayy!! cause I managed to eat both pizza and pasta that I have been craving for days before..huhu..plus, all at once..thanks to twin cause letting me to join them yesterday.believe it or not, I have spent almost RM100 just for FOOD, all within 2 and half hours of outing yesterday..haha..and nothing that is not food is bought yesterday.so, now I have a stock of chocolates in my room which I think is a lot but still, I think it would only last for, I guess, till tomorrow only.Hah!not even till the 1st exam paper!Luckily, I have told Ibu that my pocket money won't be enough till the end of the semester and she told me that Abah and her would topup my pocket money soon.if that so,I could topup my choc stock again after this.. :D -seriously, I think I am getting fatter, day by day... :(

And, I have just realized that I have plenty of friends here..and they are all great friends,if only I get to know them better.Being close to just some of them would only limit my point of view and I guess most people think the same also.

p/s someone asked me if I already have that 'someone'.well........everyone does.my 'someone' and me have been destined to be together as written in the Lauh Mahfuz. I just don't know who is that 'someone' yet :) perhaps, he is reading this post right now...

Seriously, I think I am....

HOMESICK!!!!

The Sun is Back

Salam 'alaik..

Alhamdulillah,I am still able to breath and write this post right now.hehe..but one thing for sure, I am happy today.thats why I love my usrah group so much.after each session,I will be happier than other days throughout the week and I feel more high spirited than before.that is the power of usrah... :)

Actually, its Allah who has made me feel this way.thanks to Allah since He gives me opportunities to recharge my Iman with those who always remind me of Him.Now, I know,why I felt so down throughout this week.hehe,it was my mistakes.I was too far away from Him.I was not really remember Him.Thus, He sent me some sadness and conflicts for me to return to Him back again.but I forgot to and that I am too busy blaming myself and thinking about the problems.That is why I felt extra extra down throughout the week.but alhamdulillah, last night I have my usrah session and we discussed a lot of things.

That's the importance of Tarbiyah(learning).it leads us to the right path again after we accidentally deviated due to the wonders of this world.But many think it negatively.we do a lot of wrong deeds and we know that they are wrong.but we tend to pretend to not knowing it since we are too afraid of letting go the comfort of this world.I often be like that too.But I try, bit by bit, to improve it.to leave them slowly.maybe you could try it too.feel bored without those wrong deeds?perhaps its time for you to start replacing all the wrong deeds with readings and finishing your assignments.or maybe start performing the supererogatory 'ibadah or amal.

Men + Free Time = Cause of sins

Because of the free time that we have, we tend to fill them with unnecessary things like movie-ing, dating, widen your gaze(instead of lowering it), etc..So, let us together improve ourselves,though it is hard, but it is not impossible.Let us,slowly...

Oh, SR!!

Salam 'alaik..

I planned to have my lunch at Secret Recipe this afternoon.At first,I planned to go there by myself,alone.but then, I thought that it would be nice to have someone to be with me.however, I could not find one.so, I cancelled my plan,though I still have the desire to go and have a meal there.unfortunately, cancelling the plan is so not a good idea since my heart keeps on screaming to go there.but then,I realized that, once again, I am becoming the old me, a lone ranger. :(

These days...

Salam 'alaik..

Yeayy,the mosque is now operating!now i really can feel the Islamic environment in the campus.no more confusing about when is the prayer time.the athan is so loud that it could wake me up every Fajr.its like another alarm for me in the morning..good...but I haven't been into the mosque yet.still finding the right time...

Last night, I went to the swimming pool at the sports complex.that was my 1st time there.guess what?the shallowest pool(for adults) is 1.4m deep.and my height is about 1.49m.Just imagine me in the pool,plus without knowing how to swim.I even have difficulties to make my self floating.hahahaa,poor Sherry, Iffah and Syazila.They have to help me in there.btw,I really enjoyed the night.it has really relieved my stress.Alhamdulillah..thanks korang for bringing me together with you gurlz.

Today,I have no class.well,actually I have a quiz this morning but its only for those who want to do it.I want to,at first.but I cannot manage to download the notes last night due to the extremely low Internet connection-excuse!So,I just simply forget my intention to do the quiz.hehe...Then,here I am while waiting for the downloads of my notes.well,its going to be final exam starting next week.and I have another presentation to go tomorrow..

p/s planning to meet the dentist after this..that would be my first time here also... :)

Subhanallah...He still loves me

Salam 'alaik..

I posted a post just now that tells the sadness that I currently have.But then, I deleted the post considering that its not the proper way to express my sadness.few minutes after that,an ukhti sent me a message that really soothed me and made me calm again.Subhanallah...its not the 1st time that I experience such incidence.Almost every time that I feel down and hopeless,it seems like Allah is always there to help me by sending someone to remind me back of Him and give me hope.Thank you Allah... =)

And also,few minutes after that, someone,an old friend, called me,proposed me to be a part of the mainboard of PERKIM UIA Kuantan that insyaAllah will be officially established next week.Another thing that bothers me right now...I was thinking to join other, new things in here.but such opportunity is so hard to get and probably,once in here.but,considering the tons of work that I have right now,I wonder if I could balance PERKIM and my studies and my life and my usrahs...may Allah guide me to choose the right decision for me..

Treat of the Night

Salam 'alaik.. =)

Dear 'You',

You have been so sweet...and kind to me..

Too sweet till I often feel guilty to you,

Guilty as I cannot be as sweet as you do,

Guilty as I am not so kind to you,

Guilty as I don't deserve such treats from you..

Jazakumullah khair kathira, 'You' deary...

You have treated me with lots of nice food,

And chocolates...mmmm,

I love chocolates,

And I do love people who give me chocolates,

Though its not always that I received chocolates as gifts,

So,

Dear 'You',

Thank you so much.....

Hi You, I miss You....

Salam 'alaik..

This post is dedicated to my close friend.I don't want to describe myself as your best friend or vice versa since I think I don't deserve that title.I don't know how to be one for you.I'm sorry that I don't know how to be there in times that you need me or during the leisure time. I just don't know.

Now, it seems like we are falling apart from each other.I know that you notice that, and just in case if you are not sure, I notice that too.I tried, many times, to make up our relationship. But maybe, the problem is me.I tend to be alone most of the time.There are so many things that you like but I don't like to do.The same for the other way around.but I always remind myself that we have a lot of similarities too,I guess..

How I wish we could be close again,though you seem to be closer to other people now.But I know,the problem is never about you..It is just me..I just do not know how...

Language of Buses =)

Salam 'alaik..

It is so funny to think that even buses have their own language among themselves. how? through the honks, of course! its like one-honk is for saying "Hi!", double-honks is for telling the other bus, "Hey,follow me!I'll show you the shortcut.." well,there might be many more..its kinda cute,isn't it?to think that such language exists...

We have improved technology, but not improved manners

Salam 'alaik...

i'm back after months being away from this blog.i miss blogging.seriously..but what makes me avoiding myself from blogging?i was too scared, scared that my words are not suitable, i might say wrong things, i might be addicted to blog..but why i begin to blog again,right now?bored, maybe..or i try to find a medium for me to express my feelings, my thoughts, my ideas on something.Facebook seems not safe anymore to be a place for me to let all my feelings out.there is no more privacy there.

What's new about me?

well, i haven't wrote anything here since i entered this semester.as i have mentioned in previous posts, i'm no longer the assistant batch leader.so, that means i have plenty of time to explore new things.yeah, i did explore few new stuffs and participated in organizing programs as well as joining activities.

This is not the purpose why i want to write this post today.i just want to express my sadness about an issue (sad but i'm listening to 'Senyum' song by Malique ft Najwa)..i think this issue is not rare.it is just we tend to ignore this issue by assuming that this current era should no longer apply this attitude.what attitude that i'm talking about?

Learning attitude..

Such a very general word-->'learning'. yes, it is indeed.it is also a big act...learning has strong relation with knowledge or 'ilm.and knowledge is something beneficial to us(if we learn the good one, of course).we are encouraged to FIND or SEEK for knowledge,aren't we?have we ever told to just WAIT for knowledge to come to you without any effort from you such as by coming towards the source of knowledge or trying to concentrate towards the lecture given?from what i know, NEVER.what am i going to say exactly?

Islam highlights the importance of knowledge and the act of learning. because through learning, one can acquire knowledge which somehow for me, is like the guidance from Allah SWT.well, as you know, even the knowledge that we have in our mind right now belongs to HIM.so, in order to acquire knowledge or hidayah, there are few manners /adab to be observed.even if one is not taught about the adab in his school or by his parents,still,these adab are something that you can think about them by using the rationale mind.it just involves logics.simply like that..

However, i'm so sad with the attitude of the society nowadays,regardless of the age and gender.We have lost the adab in public, we have lost the shyness in our daily acts (it is good to have at least a little shyness in one person,so that he will not simply act inappropriately).

Back to the learning issue, in order to gain knowledge, Islam told us to respect our teachers,regardless what we call them(Dr,Prof,Mdm,Ms,Mr,Sir, or simply Teacher).because the barakah is there,with their blessings together with their knowledge.These two should always come together.But, most of us only busy hunting for knowledge without noticing the need of blessings.we do not respect the teachers, expecting them to stick to what we want them to do.just imagine yourself to be on their shoes,what would you feel?someone asks something precious from you but with his face looking at somewhere else.it is RUDE, isn't it?are you a rude person?so please, respect your teacher no matter how bad the way he taught you as long as he taught good and beneficial knowledge,not the other way around.

i know, sometimes we get sleepy in class because of boring lectures-i experienced that several times as well.but, don't simply do other things unrelated during the lectures-well, at least do not show it to the lecturers.do it quietly..this could also respect the rest of the students who want to listen to the lectures.the best way is to try your best to stay awake.so, even though you cannot prevent yourself from fallen asleep, but at least, you have tried your best to stay awake.remember,in Islam, every act is counted,even the one that is as tiny as the atom.

Wallahualm.

Kek Kukus Resepi Mak Tok

Sempena Ramadan dan Syawal yang insyaAllah bakal tiba, tentu sekali ramai yang sudah mula mencari-cari serta membuat tempahan kuih-muih dan kek terutama sekali kaum ibu-ibu..tapi,kali ini,bukan perihal pembeli yang ingin diuar-uarkan.tapi,perihal bisnes yang aku rancang untuk Ramadan dan Syawal pada tahun ini..nah,ini dia, KEK KUKUS RESEPI MAK TOK.penat berguru dgn abah ni...harap2 lah kek ni mendapat smbutan.setakat ni sampel telah diedarkan di sekolah ibu dan atie.kita tunggu dan tengoklah macam mane...dapat dalam 5 tempahan pun dah alhamdulillah..dapat lebih,lagi bagus..buat teman2 uia kuantan yang nak mencuba,sorry lah,sampel tak ada.tapi kalau nak terus tempah,boleh aje.
1/2 kg - RM22
1 kg - RM40
kalau nak kecil lagi,boleh bincang nanti...contact2 ye....

Diriku Sesat-Hilang arah??

I'm still in my semester break..still have about 2 months of break left..i'm currently working at a laundry shop just about 4 min of walking from home.nothing great about the shop.there's even no dry-cleaning service being offered there.even the salary is not much..well,i really don't mind with that actually.i just want to practice my communication skill,especially when dealing with people of different races,social status and economic status.from there,i know their life,their hardships,their behavior..i might gain not much in term of understanding about their life,but at least its enough to make me,more or less, becomes more grateful to Allah for all the bounties that He has given to me.besides practicing my communication skill,i wish to experience the world of working,although its only for a very short term.by working,i gain some pocket money which i planned to use it to start my 'kek kukus' business for this raya..insyaAllah jadi...and insyaAllah next week,the samples will be distributed among the staffs of Ibu's and Atie's schools..harap sangat kek tu dapat sambutan..amin

...............................................................................................................

Tengah sibuk bekerja part time ni,terasa diri semakin jauh daripada-Nya...sukar rasanya nak khusyuk dalam solat..sukar rasanya nak menghayati kalimah2 suci-Nya..Puas sudah mencari puncanya,namun tak kutemui juga..mungkin hati ni sering mengingati perkara2 yang tak elok.mungkin juga tiada keikhlasan dalam pekerjaanku.bila diteliti semula,bukan punca sebenarnya yang inginku cari.tetapi penyelesaiannya.apa yang patut aku lakukan?step by step...bukan hanya penyelesaian kepada kelalaian hati ni terhadap Allah yang aku cari.tapi juga jalan untuk menjadi seorang yang pandai menguruskan masa dengan baik,tidak melengah-lengahkan sesuatu perkara..tetapi bagaimana?apakah langkah pertamanya?seterusnya?aaah,begitu banyak perkara yang perlu diselesaikan dalam tempoh 2 bulan ini sebelum kembali ke kampus..tapi terasa seperti hanya sebahagian kecil sahaja daripadanya yang telah ku mulakan dan sebahagian kecil itu pun belum tentu masih aku usahakan..terus,apa sahaja yang aku peroleh sepanjang cuti yang teramat panjang ini?inilah sebahagian daripada apa yang telah aku rancang untuk cuti semester ini.namun,hanya sebahagian daripadanya sahaja yang telah aku mulakan..terukkan?

-jahit 2 pasang baju kurung sendiri

-pencarian untuk EAP semester hadapan

-penyusunan semula nota2 semester2 lepas

-jahit manik pada baju Atie

-ingat kembali surah atau ayat2 yang pernah dihafaz

-hafaz juzuk 30

-khatam Kitab Ulumuddin

-menelaah buku2 semester lepas

Apabila membaca komen-komen di Facebook,rata-rata sahabat yang lain semuanya menggunakan cuti ini dengan sebaiknya dan bermanfaat.banyak yang mereka perolehi.aku?terasa tidak layak diri ni untuk turut serta dalam perbualan mereka..haihh...tak mengapa...masih ada masa untuk aku perbaiki diri dan memanfaatkan waktu cuti ini...aja aja!!

Ignorances

It has been about 3 days since we left New Zealand.miss the people and the environment already..i really wish that Malaysia would be like NZ..in terms of the people, the natural environment, the planned and organized development..

The People...

All I could say about them is that they are the most friendly people I have ever met..They are not merely 3 or 4 people,but the communities..Every time they come across one another - both local and foreign people- they would smile and say "Hi!" or "Hello!"..even the salesperson and the cashiers..no matter how long the queue of customers is at the counter,they would still smile and say hi to each of their customers.how nice is that!!compared to Malaysians,-it is not that i want to talk bad about Malaysians,but it is the fact!!-we have no culture of saying "Hi" or Salaam or smiling to strangers..not even to strangers,sometimes it is also hard for us to smile to our own people and friends..

I would love to share this with others.when my family and i first arrived Christchurch Airport,the 1st official officer that we met was a female immigration officer.Though she did her job very strictly, but still she greeted us and smile at us..well,she showed a great 1st impression to the foreign people who come to her country..unlike a Malaysian immigration officer that we met when we arrived Malaysia back,he did not smile at all at us..he even not answered salaam that my dad gave to him.how rude he was..that was the 1st impression been given to both local and foreign tourists when they arrived Malaysia..

The environment...

They have big cities..they have tall buildings..they have highways..they have cars...just like us in Malaysia.but there are great differences between these two countries.they made their roads according to the nature shape of the land..if there are two mountains,then they would build the roads in between the mountains..they will make sure only minimum number of trees are cut down in their development projects.they have tall buildings,but they limit the number so that the ecosystem balance could be sustained.they have dustbins,just like us..but they add another bins so that different materials could be categorized accordingly.its recycling, babe!!everyone applies it!!

Disasters??

They might have earthquakes, tornadoes ,etc..us?we have floods...what make us think that their country is worse than ours?have any of us thought that the disasters in countries that preserve their forests,their nature occurred because they are located at dangerous zones on earth..also,they might be caused by the 'maksiat'...but disasters in our country?we are not at dangerous zones or have extreme climates...but maybe due to our own deeds-unplanned and uncontrolled development, undisciplined people, unconcerned people and lots of corruption and 'maksiat'- in our country nowadays,we experienced floods,rising accidents number and lots of social problems..and it is not impossible that we will experienced tsunamis and destructions like Japan experienced some day...

Our people have lost their manners and discipline..we become ignorances due to the comfort that we have right now..we are free from wars,from great loss, from great destructions and most of us are not surrounded by poor people...thus,we become ignorances of these..we are not alert of the current situations or issues that happen around us..

remember,this earth is an amanah for us...have you forgotten about that?remember,most people see Islam from the people,not from the teachings...so,show good images to them...make them attracted to Islam and also to our country...verily,cleanliness is part of iman,isn't it??

MOMS....

This evening, my mom asked me whether i want to work or not for this holiday..from the way she asked, i could say that she prefers me just staying at home,or the right definition of home here is stf.

if i choose to work,i will be working at jusco since it's the nearest one to my house(which defined here as the one at kota putri).so,of course i will be staying with my big sis at my house.and my bro,he definitely wants to work.then,of course will stay at kota putri also..then,if that so,my mom and my lil sis will be staying at stf just the two of them....which i know my mom doesn't like that idea even though she's the one who suggested the idea...(moms always like that)

ok,back to the conversation..then,i just say that its ok for me either working or not..working is good since i have no experience of working yet which is important for me to apply for jobs in the future.money,is not really the reason for me to work for this holiday..but having some extra pocket money would be nice..of course i don't want to spend my parents' money for shopping...it only makes me feel guilty..about me,not working...hmmmm,i can imagine how boring i will be staying at home,doing stuffs that housewives always do,picking my lil sis from school,prepare the meals,etc...i will not doing it for merely a month or two,but for another 4 months!!but i know,how helpful i will be to my mom if i choose to stay at home..she needs someone to help her,to accompany her...and its time for me to do so within this holiday period.so,once again,i cannot decide my final decision..i'm in dilemma....my bro said,"buat solat istikharah"...then i said,"?????" :)

Semester 2, 1st year, Kami Warna-warni....

Dah seminggu dah semester 2 habis..and this time, it ended with our batch's BBQ gathering...semua nampak happy and enjoy the event..walaupun ada few complaints,but for me,its still the best event since everyone has contributed a lot in organizing it.the preparation,like basuh2 ayam,potong2 sayur,hampir semua menyumbangkan tenaga n semua beri yang terbaik utk jayakan event ni...blh dikatakan,even without the bbq event pun dah ok dah...hehehee...tp tak dapat dinafikan,memang ada kekurangan di sana sini...yelah,adat setiap program...mesti ada yang perlu diperbaiki pada masa akan datang terutamanya kekurangan dalam tugasan unit sndiri yang semuanya berpunca daripada kecuaian sendiri...sorry ye semua kerana semua kekurangan tu...

Dengan berakhirnya program tu,maka bolehlah dikatakan semester 2 pun secara rasminya tamat...isk2...sebak gak..yelah,5 bulan tu cuti,masing-masing tak jumpa antara satu sama lain...lepas hampir 1 tahun suka duka sama-sama,masakan tak rindu...nak harapkan perjumpaan semula selepas cuti ni,entah ada lagi atau tak...sesungguhnya ajal maut di tangan Allah...just praying that everyone would be still alive and healthy till we meet next semester...

actually,the one that really touched my feeling the most is when they announced the new batch leader and his assistant for next semester...don't misinterpret my words..the moment they announced it,i said to myself,"wow,this really ends this 1st academic year...next semester won't be the same for me-since i'm no longer holding that post.."of course i said it monologuely(is there any such word?)....that post,yes,it's hard,heavy,an 'amanah'(responsibility),tiring, gives headaches,etc...you have to act as a representative of the batch to deal with office matters, lecturers, labs...speaking of being a representative,of course you need to make sure that you are representing your batch in the best way and manner-though i was not really into them...but,aside from all those matters,there are great things about holding that post,at least for me.i can manage my time a bit wiser,i learnt to speak out my opinions,to discuss things in public,to handle problems,to understand others and most importantly,to know the sisters of the batch even more and to get close with them.just compare me before and after holding that post-maybe others cannot notice the differences,but i can.i gained my confidence,at least a bit higher than before..hope next semester will be a better semester for me since i can now concentrate on other matters and my study.

lastly,i wish all the best to the new batch leader and assistant batch leader.i'm pretty sure that they will lead the batch better than me and najib did.insyaAllah...also, i would like to take this opportunity-though i'm not sure if there is any of my batchmates that read this post-to appologize for all the 'kekurangan' throughout this year,while holding that post..i'm sorry for all the 'hak' which have not be fulfilled,for my attitudes which irritated or annoyed you guys...sorry,sorry.....wishing you guys, happy holiday!!take care of yourselves!!

Kekasihku Rindu???

Acapkali aku terjaga tika sang mentari belum lagi mahu menampakkan cahayanya di bumi. jam 4, kadang-kadang 5..selalu sahaja aku tidur kembali...tapi sejak kebelakangan ini,wujud satu kesedaran dalam diri ni untuk muhasabah segala apa yang berlaku pada diri dan sekeliling..mula mencari hikmah di sebalik kejadian..

Mungkinkah Allah bangkitkan kita dari tidur awal kerana Dia rindukan kita?

-rindukan tahajud dan zikrullah daripada kita...

Mungkinkah Allah menjatuhkan semangat kita terhadap sesuatu kerana rindukan kita?

-rindukan doa dan rintihan daripada kita...

Mungkinkah Allah beri kesusahan kepada kita kerana rindukan kita?

-rindukan kebergantungan kita terhadap-Nya yang empunya segala ini...

Mungkinkah Allah sukarkan kita untuk khusyuk kerana rindukan kita?

-rindukan usaha keras daripada kita untuk Allah...untuk ibadat kerana Allah...tanpa putus asa...

atau, mungkinkah kerana sayangnya Allah kepada kita?

Pernah tak terjaga dari tidur di saat subuh sudah mula nak berlalu dan syuruk hampir muncul?Mungkin kerana Allah sayangkan kita...mahu kita bangkit untuk solat Subuh agar tak terlepas...acapkali....termasuk untuk solat asar dan maghrib terutamanya...

Pernah tak di saat kita jatuh, ada sahaja yang mahu membantu atau berita gembira yang datang?ya...betapa sayangnya Allah pada kita...sentiasa ada di saat kita lupa kepada-Nya...sentiasa ada di saat kita perlukan bantuan daripada-Nya...sentiasa ada di saat kita berjaya dan gembira,meskipun selalu sahaja kita lupa kepada-Nya...hina bukan diri ni yang tidak membalas rindu Allah...yang tidak membalas kasih sayang Allah ini...

Ya Allah,jauh di dasar hati ini ingin merasakan rindu kepada-Mu...ingin merasakan cinta kepada-Mu...namun,acapkali terlena dengan dunia ini...acapkali bermegah dengan nikmat kurniaan-Mu...Tunjukkanlah jalan buatku untuk membalas rindu-Mu itu dan berkasih sayang dengan-Mu serta merasai manisnya iman.....

Is there any such thing as coincidence?

its examination period..done already with 2 papers-the "EASY" ones according to others if compared to the next 4.tonight i was planning to finish my revision for biochem at least till lipid n nucleotide metabolisms.tgh dok semangat revise the topic,sampai plak kt 1 part yg x berapa nk clear kt hardcopy notes tu...so,with hopes that i have the softcopy in my laptop,i searched for it...result:i don't have it..since dah buka laptop,why don't jenguk fb for a moment-always like that... -__-

huhu,hanis posted the cam for ungs2040k in Kami Warna-warni group..n although i have expected it before, i never thought that i would be this upset and down.even if i get full marks for the final paper,still i cannot get an A for the paper...huhu...i always thought that ungs papers are the chances for me to get As,like what i've got for ungs2030k last semester.verily, Allah knows what is best for me...maybe if i can easily get good marks for this time,maybe just maybe i would be 'riak'.so He made things this way..to make me return to Him and work harder...

back to the fb part, everyone seems to be upset too about the cam and ystrday's paper.this has made me even more upset about mine.so,i just asked anyone yg tgh online fb at that time to give me an advice that is good enough to make me motivated again...guess what,amal text-ed something to me..

""Dan sungguh, Kami benar2 akn menguji kamu sehingga Kami mengetahui org2 yg benar2 berjihad & bersabar d antara kamu, & akan Kami uji perihal kamu."(Surah Muhammad:31)

And guess what again,amal bg msg tu after i posted that request on fb even though she's not even online..and the verse,really touched my heart so deeply that i cried without realising it....its like Allah made amal to send the msg to me to remind me,to comfort me..Subhanallah....Subhanallah...

Allah rindukan rintihan kita.thanks to amal for reminded me about one more thing,that we often convey our fear,sadness,happiness on fb to others..but actually,it is Allah that is the closest one to us,every second, every hour, everywhere..we can just simply turn to Him and convey it,share our feelings to Him.as He is always with us..i hope this post would be something beneficial for all too as it is to me....wallahualm

#i planned to post about the need to share my feelings to someone,a friend,in here just before i got the message from amal.and suddenly the feeling of loneliness in me was gone and has been replaced with the feeling of syukr and grateful as well as love to Allah,which is what it is supposed to be..thus,the post turned out to be about this miracle from Allah... :)

sunday.... -__- ....sundae??

not really..this sunday is a bit tiring n weird.badan2 rasa lenguh,penat n at anytime blh tertidur.even while doing my work at the desk also i can fell asleep.went to "Muslim Scholar" talk n workshop early this morning..Alhamdulillah...great input did i got.but still,cannot help me in answering questions in my mind.all that i could say about today is that,it is just another plain day,maybe a little bit fun at the morning,with all the jokes made by the speaker.but i don't know..this weekend seems like my mood n spirit to study n finish my work are not here.it takes a long time for me to finish my work.n seems like doing those work is not as enjoyable as always..

Oh God!Oh Allah!help me pls..give me some wills,some spirits,n some supports for me to finish all my work by tonight.cause tomorrow,i never know what will come to me..maybe more work to be done?hopefully not..huhh,just remembered..i have a meeting tomorrow night with the board of SCIENCESS.and tomorrow morning insyaAllah my group will have to present about the development of BM in class.and tomorrow i have discussion for mcb lab report.also, need to discuss with the whole batch regarding any issue that may arise in the batch.also,i have a short discussion for BM again,for me to give some talk about babies' dumping in Malaysia in Tuesday class.luckily i have no biochem lab for this week.but still,last week's lab report still not done yet..not even started actually.

and this week,insyaAllah, yana will be back to Kuantan.hopefully she's alright.cause if she's not,it would just make me even worrier and even more stress actually-seeing her sad.ok lah,better get going with my work now.its 10.13 pm already.tick-tock...time is running..better chase it now...salam.

1714,07012011

today,friday,7th january 2011..its new year already.n its friday..but i'm so not in a good mood today..

first,its because Diyanah's mom has just passed away around 11 sth pm last night.i feel so useless as there is nothing that i could do to calm her down.but Alhamdulillah,she is a strong person.she sounds so calm when i called her last night.i pray to Allah that she and her family are strong to face this news and to go through the future without her beloved mother by their side.also, may her mother is placed together with the mukminin in the Paradise.InsyaAllah.Verily Allah knows best what is best for their family.

secondly,perhaps its because of the tons of work to be done and things to be thought of for this week as well as this weekend.from the lab reports,group discussions,calculus' pbl discussions,revisions,to the matters regarding the batch.this week is quite tiring for me and makes me quite emotional.with the twin keep on giving me compliments and praises that i think i do not deserve.with the weather that always cold here at Kuantan..these really affect my mood for this whole week.

i'm not a perfect person.some might see me as one,but i'm not.instead, i might be even worse than what people might think about me.cause i keep most of my thoughts,feelings all by myself that people do not know what kind of person i am.who says that i don't feel alone..honestly,almost most of the time..i just pretend to be not.maybe that is what makes me an ignorant.i became someone that ignore my own feeling,thus,became an ignorant of others also.but then,when someone tells me her feelings or problems,i don't know how i should react.that makes me a bad respondent.i cannot give the right facial expressions,the right words,or body languages to the people around me,even if i wanted to,badly..

my exam results might be good, but believe me,there are others that get better than me.do not praise me because of my achievements.they are not helping me to be better actually.they only make me become someone that is not grateful.i might looked tired or stress due to all the work that i have to do on behalf of the batch.please, do not say,"pity me", as i actually enjoy doing them.because if you say so, it might actually change my intention in doing those things.so,please,don't..

i feel so useless that i think i should be away from people.
i feel so lonely that i think i cannot stop crying.
i feel so bad that i think i should not talk to others anymore as they might get hurt of what i wll say.

but i take all these feelings as part of His tests..verily, a good person will not be affected by her own emotions.i will try to be one.insyaAllah...