"A photograph of what I'm grateful for/my child;
once a week, every week." 

My weekdays retreat.

I've been a bit off-course for quite sometimes after our 3 years indoctrination program to meet ICAO qualification as aircraft inspector, now that I was assigned in certification sub-unit under engineering. It's a whole different game that I have to unlearn everything and literally change the brain. I began to doubt myself and became numb. But don't get me wrong, I enjoy this part
of specialisation. I still enjoy playing inspector, but doing certification blew my mind
and I can't help it - I love it every single time.

But I feel dumb for each new cases I encounter and learn and read and learn and read and learn. And I got off-course as I read, 'cause my favourite reading materials are articles/blogs/short stories. Not certification standards.

So I decided that I calculate my daily salary and work to the value of what I'm getting paid for,
or perform more so that the barakah will materialize in other forms.
It's a way to keep myself on track.

And last week, I was 'playing' inspector and was offered a job and double the current salary.
I just laughed it off. And shrugged it off.
They must be kidding.

I know what I'm currently getting is much less as compared to what the industry is paying;
but considering all the things I'm getting : cool colleagues, harmonious working environment, diverse scopes of  knowledge and experiences, paid duty travels, conveniences
(it only takes me 10 minutes drive to the office. I'm out at 8.10 AM and punch in before 8.30 AM!) etc etc, no extra money in the world would be able to buy that!

Then it struck me.
Allah is showing me that I'm getting more out of this! More than just daily salary - that if I were to be paid double the money, it will still not equate to the total value of things I'm getting.


Ya Rahman Ya Rahim.
Help me diligently serve the country.

"A photograph of what I'm grateful for/my child;
once a week, every week." 

When that someone hug you so tight,
all your broken pieces will stick back together.

So he left yet again...
Yes, I'm saying he's back then he's gone.

I'd say when he returned last fortnight, I wanted him all for myself.
It's like he's gotta make up for all the lost time we've been away.
Two and a half month with 4 days break in between,
I don't think I can tolerate longer than that.

But who am I kidding. He's been away from everybody
and he's gotta make up for everything! In a mere 10 days.

I wanted to fill it up with good ol' 'quality time'
but there were too many things and too little time.
Tried squeezing in things each and everyday left us (ehem me)
with huge brimming bubble of frustation... that popped couple of times
with downpour of tears for absolutely ridiculous reasons.

But he fixed it with ice cream treat, all ears to a long
deep conversation by the roadside.
He just knows his wife too well and I'm all cured.

He's just away and he's not around.
That - does not make him absent.

That Monday, I walked into the office not expecting it'd sound that quiet... and deserted,
 when everybody were around (this normally happens when most of the officers are on duty travel, but it wasn't). It was a grave silence.