My Own Inception Moment

The History Channel is one of the few channels I have. I am watching a fascinating documentary on Area 51.
Okay, really, it is just someone's conspiracy theory that had enough financial backing to make into a documentary. It has caused me to ponder the following:
If we mastered time travel and went back in time and changed history, would we know or would that just be our history?
Would the current history still exist in our memories, or would this new history just be the history we lived? And if we weren't able to remember the first history, how would we know if this HAD already happened?
What if the life we are now living is just an experiment that someone is conducting to see what different tweaks in history do to change society?
What if deja vu is really just a moment when a previous history is so similar to the new history that we remember living the old history?
What if sometimes the experimenter is in a weird mood and just wants to mess with us so they just throw something random out there for their own entertainment?
What if they laugh when people get really heated over things like politics or what "Cindy Jones Anderson" posted on Facebook today?
How do you think you would go about getting a job as a scientist at the time travel division of area 51?
Who would like to begin a fund to pay for me to have more TV?
UPDATED:
After I posted this I went to my mail box. All of the mail there was for my sister, and it used her maiden name. She has been married nine years. This house didn't even exist nine years ago...or did it?


UPDATED X2: The comments section of this post freak me out more than just a little...

Conversation Between Autocorrect and My Brain

**Disclaimer** I know that texting and driving is wrong, wrong, wrong.  It is a bad habit and I am trying to stop.

If someone texts me while I am driving, I pretty much always have to at least read it - unless it is dark, stormy, in tight construction or other various reasons that make me nervous when I drive.  If it is something I can respond to in one or two words -- I will. **insert judging here**

 

 As I was driving to St. George I was doing a little texting back and forth with someone and they kept being funny, which of course meant I had to be funny back.  After a few back and forth texts, I thought I should remind them that I was actually in the driver's seat and maybe we should save this awesome volley of ridiculousness for another time.

 

My Text (with Autocorrect helping): p.s. I'm stunning

 

My Inner Voice: No, driving...

 

Autocorrect: I'm drinking

 

Inner Voice: Closer, DRIVING

 

Autocorrect: I'm Stunning

 

Inner Voice: Fine. I am sure I would be stunning when I'm drinking if I was a drinker...

I Get By With Help From My Friends

I completely intended to do a "what is happening in our lives" post so that you wouldn't think it was all ridiculous all the time around here.  But then today the mail came and I got the most KickButt late birthday present ever from one of my most besties of all time, Angie, and I just knew I had to share the craziness.

Let us begin:
Contrary to popular belief, I do still obey the Word of Wisdom and I have not YET been driven to drink - I know, I joke about it a lot.  However, when I do get to the point of driven to drink these will come in very handy:

Capri Sun style alcoholic beverages!

 Until I actually do get driven to drink, there is this little gem.

 

 I know you should be able to click and enlarge, but let me help you out.

7 Helpful occasions to chew this gum

1.  When you suddenly need to change your mood

2.  When somebody yell at you and you don't want to listen

3.  If you are lack of attitude

4.  When you need to refuse

5.  When you want to be picky

6. When you want to be selfish

7.  When you definitely want to say "kiss my ___" 

*chew more than one if you need extra attitude

I only edited number 7 (although, if you are letting kids read my blog you are a worse parent than me!)  The rest of the awesome wording is all credit to the producer of this great product.

Next up:

Okay, this is the nice picture.  You can just imagine what the other side looks like - well it isn't as bad as you imagine, but it is still not right.

I can't even say that this one is crazy or ridiculous or weird because I have totally wanted one of these for SOOOO very long!!  And it is as completely awesome as I hoped it would be.  I will never lose my headset again.  I am trying to think of a reason to go to Walmart just to use it in public.  Although, my sister did point out that she wondered what people passing by in cars must think of it!! It makes me so happy I could....squirt water!!

























In fact, I love this so much that I am going to share a completely awful picture of me that Courtney snapped while I was driving around the neighborhood.  Keep in mind that I didn't get dressed until 3:30, I am not wearing makeup, that shirt is very unflattering, and I have no explanation for how awesome my teeth look.

Thanks, Ang!  You made my day!  Maybe my week, and my month too, we shall have to see!!

My **cough** 20 Year High School Class Reunion

My high school reunion is coming up and I really feel like I need to recreate this scene with one of my besties and probably Travis at the reunion. (However, my friends are lame and are refusing to join me - their loss.)

Of course, I just don't have a prom dress on hand so this necessitated a trip to Savers!  Let the good times roll.  The Savers nearest me is really quite new and they are still just getting in a good inventory.  They only had about 20 "evening gowns". (Although, Courtney started in the lingerie section. Yikes.)

So I started looking for just the perfect dress among the meager selection. It was like DESTINY.  I found the perfect dress for me.  (I mean, what are the odds - contrary to popular belief - my waist size has changed just a bit from High School...)  And I actually found TWO that I thought would fit.  So we headed off to the dressing room.

The first one was cute, but just not quite what I wanted. (I shared a crappy picture on Facebook, but I am too lazy to upload it here)

The next one...it was like FATE brought us together.  It fit me like a glove...or it would have if I was blessed with boobs! (Can I say that word on my blog?) But like, everywhere else, it totally fit.  I knew I must get it! And it was HALF PRICE.  Honestly, could this story get better?

As soon as we got to the car Courtney started planning how to do my hair.  So at 7:00 at night, we started the arduous task of making my already princess-like hair even more princessy.  And as I was sitting there getting even more beautiful by the minute I thought "Umm, I need a tiara. Where could I get a tiara?"  Immediately I thought of my awesome neighbor, Alicia.  I just knew she would totally have a tiara.  And she DID!  She brought it right over.  (Seriously, who has neighbors so awesome that they don't even question you when you ask for a tiara and they come to your house at 8 at night and your daughter is making you some princess hair!!)

Soon my hair was finished and I headed into makeup.  Those who know me well know that I wear either no makeup or very little makeup.  And here I was practically doing caked on stage makeup at 8:00 at night.

Then came the Pièce de résistance (yeah, I googled it) - my beautiful dress.  Perfect...well almost.  Again, I have no boobs...I was trying to wear it without a bra (spoiler alert, it is strapless), therefore my fake boobs wouldn't stay in (sorry, that is a story for another post). So then I just started grabbing everything from my pajama drawer and stuffing it in there.  I may have had two t-shirts and a pair of flannel pants in there.

Courtney said "No, we need to see your cleavage!"  (Uh, DCFS should stop reading ... a few minutes ago.)  I got out a really old bra, and put it on the tightest setting.  But again, the dress was strapless so I had to have Courtney cut the straps off.  Did you know that you get the most support from the straps...so did I but by this time I was in a full mental case craze. Now, I need more support that doesn't show.  I had Courtney go get the double stick tape.  She came back with the clear packing tape.  Close enough.  "Okay, I am going to hold my cleavage where I want it, and you put the tape on - making sure it is on the bra and my skin to hold it in place..." (I can not believe I am sharing this...)  The tape completely DID NOT WORK.  So I said, "I will hold the dress with my arms just right and that will hold the dress where it needs to be. Now you take pictures and do not get any of the mess that is my bedroom or this house in any of the pictures."

I feel it fair to note that I have not been in a swimsuit in over a year, so those rocking awesome tan lines are just something we princesses always posses.

If you have made it this far, I won't keep you in suspense any longer...

The Average Day in the Life of a Princess

We dust our precious Lladro Figurines. We wash the fine china. (There may be tape showing...) 

We practice our musical gifts. We keep the grounds.

And a special shout out to all my ""friends"" - Thanks for the heads up on the fact that I totally have 

 

CRAZY EYES

Someday I will share with you the outtakes of this awesome shoot, but really this feels like enough for now.  I will leave you with this - how I normally look. (Kinda - less make up, less curls)  I am totally keeping the tiara though because how can you think housework is drudgery when you are cleaning in a tiara?

**As always  - there will be a PayPal account set up for a therapy fund for my kids for when, not if, they need it!