Sunday, August 3, 2008


let's start with forever.


Because lousy people like Qingwei and Rachel are unable to find my lj link, here it is. And fyi, it's always been on the sidebar on the left, even before I fully converted.

I am so disappointed. Thus far, only Eugene has been able to spot the link :D


burned the sheets at 16:58

Friday, May 23, 2008


end.


MOVED. To lj, where fics and life actually mix :D

Tagboard is still in use, though.

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burned the sheets at 22:08

Thursday, May 22, 2008



Freak. The father saw me typing mine and Van's conversation.

We had a Very Serious Talk. I still don't get his Very Serious Problem outlook.

I think I really might be moving to lj and f-locking everything.

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burned the sheets at 23:40

Wednesday, May 21, 2008


decrepit;


I'll say this: I absolutely abhor snubbing.

Watch out, girlie. You're approaching the precipice. One wrong move and you plunge deep into dank darkness, your body smashed against jagged rocks.

One wrong move. Or I can push you.

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burned the sheets at 21:03


tezuryo <3


HAHA GOD THIS CRACKED ME UP. RACYAP'S TAGBOARD :D

20 May 08, 16:04
joy: haha no lah it's not an essay. it was just some lame thing i wrote for fun. it's up on my blog hahah. go read. i think you'd go -.- and i forgot to show you on sunday! i found this wonderful smexy tezuryo soundtrack/radioplay. someone took different parts of the PoT episodes and made it into a sex soundtrack of sorts ahhaha

20 May 08, 16:19
rachel: o.o eew..for some reason i always found tezuryo kinda pedo. o.o tezufuji is WAY better!!!!

20 May 08, 16:20
rachel: but who'd wanna make a sex soundtrack of tezuryo? o.o tezufuji is still better manz. xD

20 May 08, 16:21
rachel: but i wanna hear the soundtrack anyway. OMG THIS IS HILARIOUS LARH.

20 May 08, 16:39
joy: http://www.savefile.com/files/1341483

20 May 08, 16:39
joy: haha go download. it's gooood.

20 May 08, 16:43
rachel: ...i'm telling uncle joseph you teach me to download porn...

21 May 08, 18:02
joy: OI TEZURYO IS HOT OKAY. IT'S NOT PEDO. ew tezufuji :l i like fuji. but tezuryo is seriously my PoT OTP.

21 May 08, 18:03
joy: erm. and haha of all people you tell UNCLE JOSEPH that i teach you to download porn. he'd probably just go, like, "my little niece is growing up! I'm so touched! You want more links? I have." AHHAHAHA

:DDDDD

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burned the sheets at 18:04


one shot to my soul -


Um. Well. I just realized that my last few posts have all been a little... emo-ish? Heh. And all because I was pissed at the computer :/

-

Haha anyway today was absolutely blazing hot. I think my brain melted. Or got fried. Literally. Which explains the conversation I held with Vanessa today. It had... Questionable Content. Yes, capital letters.

Vanessa claims it's R21, I think at most NC16, though. It'll be posted either tomorrow or the day after, depending on how fast Vanessa finishes typing it out. The conversation was three pages long, courtesy of my trashed-consent-forms-turned-rough-paper.

Yanyi was the only one who survived reading the entire three pages. Nobody else (ie. Jacy, Cassandra, Lokyin etc) could bear to go past the first page xD Too, uh, graphic.

It was about who's better in bed: Kaname or Zero. Kaname so obviously pwns all. And no, this isn't Kaname/Zero pairing we're talking about. It's (Kaname or Zero)/Yuuki :D

And we kinda co-wrote Kaname/Yuuki fic! Haha it's barely half a page long, but it has great potential. Though it's the most, uh, graphically perverse fic I've ever written. Though that's not saying much, seeing as how I've almost never written, well, porn.

It's definitely not the most graphic Vanessa has written. That's a feat.

Yes well. JIAFENG WAS BEING SICK when she read the fic :X Of all the weird things to say, she had to go, "Eh you can change it to Fate with it!" Cue confused look from me. She clarifies, "You know, with add-ons!" Gawd.

-

I really shouldn't be blogging when I have 5 Literature essays to prepare, and an unseen prose to do. And plenty of backlog I really really need to catch up on. And Peiyun's birthday fic to write. Though I'm not writing today :D

-

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burned the sheets at 17:36


black.


This is just - fuck. All the bloody fucking shit I have to deal with.

I really just want to close my eyes and die.

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burned the sheets at 01:07

Tuesday, May 20, 2008


running.


Because I'm just so tired of you making your fucking assumptions.
Because I'm just so tired of you making your unsubtle insinuations.
Because I'm just so tired of you butting your nose in where it doesn't belong.
Because I'm just so tired of having you in my life.

-

Fuck.

Can't you just let me live my life on my own? Is it too much to ask for you to believe that I can make my own decisions?

-

Just. Let me sort my identity crisis out on my own. I can solve my own shit, thank you very much, and I don't need another goddamned person nosing around my business.

Whether I choose to run or stay and fight, it's really my choice, not yours. You do not control my life and the decisions I make.

Leave me alone. I need some alone time. Or do you not understand the meaning of that?

-

I'm just really really really tired of everything. Why wasn't I sent the memo that I'd be plunged into a confusing identity crisis? Maybe I could've prepared better for its arrival then.

Sometimes I just want to crawl into bed, shut my eyes tight, and just see black. And black. And never open my eyes again.

But apparently, even asking to see black is a little out of my league. Seeing as how a bloody migraine bestowed on me flashes of every frickking glaring colour except black.

It's the middle of the night and my room is pitch black. I shut my eyes. And I see bright pink, yellow, green, aqua behind my eyelids, like I'm under a strobe light. I feel my nose throbbing, my eyeballs too. Every minute sound, even the soft hissing of the airconditioner, echoes in my head like a cacophony of screeching crows. My brain feels like it's being compressed, pushed and prodded into a space too small to contain it. I hear the ringing of a bell in my head. My teeth fairly ache with the sheer agony of the intensity up there. I can feel every ridge of my palate, my tongue chooses this time to become ultra-sensitized, and I can feel the sting of every ulcer in my mouth, ulcers I didn't know existed. My mouth feels raw, and I can feel the rake of the devil scraping over my tongue, like I've eaten too many warheads. Except I haven't eaten warheads since at least two months ago, when Joshua dropped the warhead into the coke.

I can hear and feel every nuance of a screw being driven into my skull. The screeching of bone ground to dust. I see a dull silver screw, huger than any I've ever seen, slowly twisting, and my nerves scream along. All I see now are the bursts of pink, yellow, green and aqua, all over again. The pain remains, though.

-

That was not a lie. It was last night. The worst bloody headache of my life. I closed my eyes and couldn't find it in myself to be sleepy, to want to sleep. Yet I kept seeing the bursts of horribly colourful lights.

Last night was the singularly worst moment of my life. Though today might give it a run for its money.

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burned the sheets at 15:39

Monday, May 19, 2008


slicing apart those sins.


Because SOME people find in themselves the amazing ability to be utterly shameless.
Because SOME people fail to comprehend the meaning of 'example'.
Because SOME people are just absolutely idiotic like that.

-

Okay, I'm sorry I sound so harsh, but really, this is just my honest opinion of what happened yesterday, though it is a second-hand account, courtesy of Brenda.

Both parents were in the wrong. Which makes it kind of tough for me, because I usually like to take a stand. Haha but I guess this just means that I get to deal double dosage, and take jabs at both parties :D

-

S'S MUM

She really shouldn't have gone to insult Wee Heng. But I guess all that's going to be in here are alot of 'shouldn't have's, So I'll dispense with that.

Fine, she was a damned beeyatch for going around and insulting kids, of all people, without compunction.

Really. What sort of parent goes around, in a church of all places, and calls a kid a 'gangster'? What sort of freaking adult, let alone parent and Christian, are you being? And let's not mention that the kid is pretty sweet in his own way, if slightly rowdy occasionally.

It merely shows the supreme shallowness of the parent, and instills in the impressionable kid the belief that adults are not to be trusted, that adults will only put you down, that adults don't bother to look past your face and actions to see the real you, that adults are superficial. Which totally rings true for the parent in question, but in general?

It'd be totally sad if the world was full of people like this.

This is where the opinionated adjectives come into play.

If the fricking mother thinks that she's good enough to judge people superficially, then she should have the credentials to go with it. Why then, do I see her daughter always dressed skimpily, face caked with makeup, at the tender age of nine? It's the upbringing, and dare I say it, the genes. Which really does explain the extremity of the girl's selfishness, pettiness, superficiality and vanity.

And no way in hell is she pretty. Passable, but not pretty.

It's not that I'm saying everything's all fine and dandy if she's pretty, but it does mean that there's a more plausible reason to her snottiness if she were pretty. Which so happens, she is NOT.

And even if she were pretty, in the core of the hearts of people, beauty counts for naught. It's the trueness of heart, the magnanimosity and generosity, the encompassing attitude that people are drawn towards.

Not a heavily made-up face, with blue eyeliner thick enough to paint a damned whale. Not scraps of cloth, barely enough to cover the bare essentials. Okay, maybe that was somewhat of an exaggeration, but it makes my point.

Let's not even go into the nitty-gritty details about how her daughter beat someone up. All in the name of fine upbringing, I suppose. The skills one teaches one's daughter in preparation for future beauty-queen career?

And I'd just like to add: I absolutely abhor the way the bloody freaking assshit of a mother enjoys staring down her nose at us. As if we're below her, and not worthy of her interest! No wonder your daughter reeks of this holier-than-thou air all the time. What am I to expect? Like mother, like daughter.

I'm sorry I missed the show where you totally messed yourself up.

-

C'S DAD

Obviously, it was wrong to go and scold the kid. Even though the kid probably did deserve it, in my opinion. Actually, even if the kid didn't deserve to be scolded for the particular issue in question, she sure did deserve to be taken down a peg or two. Or twenty thousand.

Still. It shows, once again, the shallowness of human nature. To pick a fight with a defenceless kid, who obviously has nothing going for her in the face of an irate adult man, merely shows the caveman-like desire to intimidate the kid into meek submission.

Subjugation of females is already a hot debating topic, when the terrorizing of girls comes into play, the debating arena is going to become a bloody warfield, with rampaging horses, blaring trumpets and all.

That, in turn, shows extreme ignorance on the part of the adult. To not predict the actions of both the kid and said kid's mother was sheer stupidity. Sheesh.

Obviously, it would stand to reason that the mother would stand up for her child, especially if said child was crying from shock/fear, no? Apparently, that very evident fact failed to, in all it's sharpness, pierce the asinine grey matter of a certain parent. Which also makes said parent at fault, duh.

C'S MUM

And of course, if the mum hadn't stepped in to poke her sharp beakish nose where it didn't belong, the world would be at an end!

Both mothers were quarreling outside, paying no heed to the fact that they were acting like fishmongers' wives (it's an expression, no disrespect meant to fishmongers and their wives). Puh-lease. This kind of shrewish behaviour is best left to the harlots of olden days. Please, don't besmirch the name Singapore has so painstakingly built for herself.

Seeing as how they were caught up in their passionate, heated squabbling, the two crows, for lack of a more descriptive word, plainly didn't see the crowd gawping at them.

Freaking shrews. I'm surprised they didn't attack the teachers who attempted to pull them apart. Actually, maybe they did, and Brenda just spared me the gory details :/

-

Meh. I think I found the side I'm standing on: C's parents.

Though it was wrong of them to retaliate the way they did, the damage they inflicted wasn't as bad as S's mum's. I'm not condoning their behaviour, but Brenda's account of how S's mum took it upon herself to label Wee Heng really just repulsed me. Does that woman have no dignity?


Frankly, I think the one who said that "I'm not coming back to this church anymore!" is S's mum.Though I doubt the real reason was because "I don't want my kid to get bullied here!" In all honesty, it was probably because reality struck then.

And she realized she had lost her composure, and consequently, all semblance of dignity she might have had. After all, this will be gossip fodder for the next couple of weeks, about how two parents fought tooth and nail with each other, like elementary kids.

Ah, the superficiality of the adult world.

-

And this is where I show the picture I kop-ed from Rachel's blog :D





























HAHA I (figuratively) laughed my ass off when Rachel showed me this. Utterly brilliant xD

Hitler: the emokid.

Adolf Hitler. Did anyone bother to delve into his heart to learn more about his abusive childhood, which shaped him into the cruel dictator we all knew? He was merely a misguided child, and yet the world saw him through tainted lenses, as a heartless bigot who discriminated against Jews. No one understood him as the frightened child, who constantly shied away from Jews because of a fearful encounter with a drunken Jew at the tender age of ten, who tried to rape him.

During Hitler's reign, people lived in fear of the Nazis. Jews marked by the yellow star cursed him with all their hearts, minds and souls.

All they saw was a severe man, who imposed inexplicable rules to justify his "purging" of Germany. All they saw was a cold-blooded creature, who lived for the sole purpose of sending millions of innocent Jews to their deaths.

They never saw the iron-fisted man toss and turn in bed, in the dead of the night, subconscious battling the unforgiving memory of the drunken man's unstoppable advances. They never heard his sobbing breaths as he wailed into an empty chamber, devoid of even guards at his request. They never saw his tearstained sheets.

When Hitler committed suicide upon the ending of his reign, whispers abounded that it was to evade imprisonment, to avoid capture, being the innate coward that Hitler was. Nobody ever thought to think of Hitler's mental anguish, much like a child who had sweated blood and tears to build a sandcastle, only to have it torn down when the tide came in.

Nobody ever saw Hitler's sorrows. He was alone, the entire journey.

*

HAHAHHAHHAA gosh I can't believe I wrote that xD Hitler: the misunderstood emokid :D

For anyone who did get conned, it was obviously untrue. Hahaha. Came off the top of my head, and made me feel infinitely insightful and understanding. Do I have the ability to become a psychiatrist, or do I have the ability to become a psychiatrist?

Analyzing Hitler's psych was sooo much fun, yeah.

-

And...

Back to Rachel: ditch Justin, please. The post on Dahlberg's blog about sex tapes and dry humping positively traumatized me for life. If Justin ever becomes my cousin-in-law, I will never be able to look at him with a straight face :X

-

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burned the sheets at 23:50


sweet sweet revenge


Nadal got back at Federer for last year's Hamburg defeat :D

Straight sets: 7-5, 6-7, 6-3.
It really isn't any surprise that Rafa's the hot favourite for Roland Garros.

:D

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burned the sheets at 14:52

JOY