Do You Love to Read??? {And A Giveaway!}

This is actually my 100th Blog Post, and I see it quite fitting that it is associated with a GIVEAWAY!!!

I was given the opportunity to review a new DaySpring product...their fabulous recordable storybooks!  You've seen those Hallmark commercials on TV, right?  Where the kiddo is getting ready for bed and they sit and giggle while they hear their Grandparents read them a story...making that story come to life, even when they can't be there with them in person?  Love the concept.  Makes my heart all warm and fuzzy as I think about our (God-willing) future children.  BUT I love these even more, because they take it a step further...they share the love of Christ! There is so much power in spoken word, and I believe God works so strongly in the lives of children.  These books are awesome.

DaySpring has four Recordable storybooks available, and I know they are all wonderful.  The one I received was Bedtime Prayers and Promises and I just love it!

Since we have so much family out of state, these books will be such a blessing to our children.  I can't wait to get some foster (and/or adopted and/or biological) kiddos into our home so we can share these books with them and teach them about our great big, awesome God who LOVES them!

And now for the best part...DaySpring is also hosting a giveaway on their website...you could have a chance to win one of these fabulous books!  Go here and enter...all you have do to is leave a comment on their blog post.  There are so many ways you can enjoy these books...whether or not you have kids.  You can record the story and then donate the book to your church nursery.  You could have your kids record the story and send it to a soldier fighting overseas.  What are your ideas? Do share!  And don't forget to enter DaySpring's GIVEAWAY before October 31st!  They even have information on how you can participate in a future product review as well!

Pssst . . . . here's the link to the giveaway in case the above quicklinks didn't work:  http://www.incourage.me/2011/10/recordable-storybooks-how-to-weave-the-love-of-christ-into-a-child-and-a-giveaway.html
Pssssst . . . . DaySpring gave me this product free to review, and all opinions stated in this here blog are my own    J     

Who needs lies when we can have Truth?

Satan is the father of lies.  It’s been that way since the beginning.  In Genesis 3:1, it says “Now the serpent [Satan] was more subtle and crafty than any living creature of the field which the Lord God had made.”  His main goal is to steal and destroy (John 10:10 - The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I [Jesus] have come that they may have life, and have it to the full).  One of the ways Satan can attack us and steal our joy, purpose, and worse – our ability to focus on God’s purposes for our lives – is to feed us lies.  He’s been feeding me some doozies lately, especially with regards to our most recent failed adoption.

The good news?  God’s word offers truth to counter each of these lies.  I need to cling to the truth of His word more than anything right now.  Don’t get me wrong, God has not promised us a child (like he did Abraham and Sarah in Genesis 17), but I don’t feel like He’s calling us to close the door yet.  I certainly don’t want to “stiff-arm” my way to motherhood if God has a completely different purpose (which, btw, is always best) for my life. I’ve been seeking Him to really examine my heart and show me very clearly if He’s asking us to give up this dream.  The tough thing with our miscarriage and 2 failed adoptions is that they don’t necessarily mean He’s saying “no.” It could be an opportunity for us to trust Him beyond our circumstances.  But, on the other hand, if He is telling us “no,” I want to listen.  So far, I don’t feel a peace about closing that door…so I’m asking Him to make it very clear to us if He wants us to do so.  Here are some of the lies Satan has been throwing at me, and – more important – the truth God gives to counter them.  This is probably more for me than for anyone reading, but I want to have a tangible reminder of God’s words to cling to (and throw in the enemy’s face).

Lie:


“What a waste.” 

Currently, this lie is mostly targeted on the fact that we now have to update our adoption home study again (it expires November 2^nd).  Frustrating for two reasons…it reminds us that another 12 months have passed while we still wait with empty arms, and in our particular case 7 of those 12 months were spent waiting on an adoption that didn’t end up happening.  We were “off the market” for 7 months since we were chosen by a birthmom who ended up changing her mind.  I will be honest and say that this fear was actually the very first thing that came to my mind when we got that call back in March saying we’d been chosen by a birthmom (yay!) and she wasn’t due until October (yikes!).  Human side of me says “wasted time”…truth is that God is not surprised by any of this. This home study update (as well as having to re-do our lifebook, background checks, etc) costs a pretty hefty chunk of change.  We’re not rolling in dough right now (and no, I don’t blame Wall Street…I guess I’m not on board with all that "occupy" stuff...but that’s a whole ‘nother issue). Nevertheless, my selfish humanness thinks about how many “better things” we should be spending that money on.

Truth:

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.”
-Philippians 4:19


Pssst: God promises us riches, but not of the sort we're used to pursuing here on earth. The riches God blesses us with are spiritual riches, namely the grace of Jesus Christ and the spiritual benefits of following him (wise words, taken from here).

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”
-Matthew 6:33

Pssst: This does not mean He will provide me with an iPhone, or a new laptop, or a great vacation…He really means “needs” here  J

Lie:


“Can you really put your heart into the hands of some girl and not expect her to break it?” 

I have struggled with the feelings that “we’re too far away from Tulsa to really make a difference with CPO’s ministry” and “it will get harder and harder to really invest (emotionally) in these birthmoms as much as I want to as trust gets broken again and again.”  After all, I could never do what they are doing, so how can I not expect it to fall through each time?  Pinning hopes on any human is a sure-way to be disappointed.  But I know these feelings are Satan’s sneaky attempts to thwart an awesome God-orchestrated story that will (hopefully) reach even beyond our wildest dreams.

Truth:

We can trust God with our hearts. 

“Trust in the Lord with all of your heart [see, he can be trusted with our hearts!], and do not lean on your own understanding [this is a very good thing, because I don’t so much understand right now]. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths.”
- Proverbs 3:5-6

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.”
-1 Peter 5:7

So, this post is full of brutal honesty (and not necessarily things I’m proud of…just being real here).  I wish I could say I had as much grace as people think they see in me lately, but the truth is, I am full of many questions and not a whole lot of answers.  However, I refuse to let the enemy feed me lies when I know I have a Heavenly Father who loves me more than I can even imagine, whether I’m “feeling” it or not.  Thank you, Lord, for giving us the truth of your Word that never fails to counteract the enemy’s lies.  I choose truth.  I choose You.

Photo Contest!

So...before this whole failed adoption #2 thing, I entered us into a photo contest here with a local photographer (hoping that we'd have a fun new family pic once baby came). She actually forgot to put us on the facebook portion of the contest, so we're really behind (other pics got "likes" that she's counting, but we weren't included).  After facebook slapped her hand for holding a contest there (who knew?), she's continued the contest on her blog instead (using comments as votes).

We need to catch up!

Would love for you to go comment here on Amanda's contest blog post

(if those quick links didn't work, copy and paste this into your browser to get to the contest post and make a comment):

http://ww...w.amandaeatonblog.com/category/uncategorized/november-session-giveaway-3/ 

and leave a comment voting for our picture (I think we're #11, but hover over our picture to be sure before you comment)...we could win a free photo session with Amanda Eaton Photography valued at $500 :) 

Ends on Sunday 10/16...please, go comment! Help us catch up and win! 

Tell your friends!

Thank you!

Blessings...

"Blessings"

By Laura Story

We pray for blessings

We pray for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep

We pray for healing, for prosperity

We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while, You hear each spoken need

Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights 

Are what it takes to know You’re near

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom

Your voice to hear

And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near

We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love

As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

All the while, You hear each desperate plea

And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights 

Are what it takes to know You’re near

And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us

When darkness seems to win

We know that pain reminds this heart

That this is not, this is not our home

It's not our home

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

And what if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You’re near

What if my greatest disappointments

Or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy

And what if trials of this life

The rain, the storms, the hardest nights

Are Your mercies in disguise

Sometimes He Calms the Storm...

...and other times He calms His child (lyrics from Scott Krippayne).  We received a phone call this morning from CPO with the news that "J" had sent them a text message letting them know that she has changed her mind.  Failed adoption numero dos for the Irwins (so far, we're 0 for 3 in this parenting thing...1 miscarried pregnancy and 2 failed adoptions).  We are - of course - sad, and confused, and frustrated, and confused (oh, did I already say that?), but we also are 100% in support of "J's" decision.  This little guy was not our baby, and although we really hoped that we would be blessed with the opportunity to parent him, we fully stand behind "J" in this decision.  We also stand by our resolve to praise God when we win, and praise God when we lose (we got that quote from the movie Facing the Giants...if you haven't seen it yet, you totally should).  As hard as it was to get the phone call this morning, we actually see it as an answer to prayer.  We have been in the midst of a 2-week period of no communication from "J" and were becoming a bit anxious that this little guy's due date on the 13th would come and go, and we'd be left wondering.  It was hard to get the phone call from CPO this morning, but it would have been so much harder had "J" simply disappeared entirely.  Last night, as I was browsing through Pinterest (my latest fun pasttime), I came across a picture of Romans 12:12 written on a piece of paper.  When Steve woke up to go to work, I showed it to him, commenting on how perfect it was as we were waiting in the midst of a lot of unknowns.  It says:

"Rejoice and exult in hope; be steadfast and patient in suffering and tribulation; be constant in prayer"

I cling to that even now.  We are in no way giving up on this journey of becoming parents through adoption, and we are excitedly jumping right back into foster parenting with both feet as well (we'd put ourselves on hold for a bit, as the trip to Oklahoma for our pending adoption approached).  We absolutely love what CPO is doing through their ministry to birthmoms and are so glad to be involved with them, and will continue to be.  We still cling to the truth of the Bible that our God is awesome, sovereign, loving, and good.  All the time.  Even when we don't understand, even when we aren't necessarily "feeling it," we know that He is good.  Now that doesn't mean that we're happy with how things turned out, or that we aren't disappointed that our 3 1/2 year journey has been delayed yet again, nor does it take away the sting of the many upcoming babies happening among our family/friends as we continue to wait on something God has not yet revealed to us.  BUT...we can take a cue from Paul in Philippians 4:11-13 when he says, "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength"  (and this dude was in prison as an innocent man, wrongly accused, when he wrote this!  If he can do it in those circumstances, we certainly can rejoice amidst ours)!

I spent most of the morning revising our Lifebook ("J" has the only hard copy, and we need to send a new one so CPO can start showing our profile to prospective birthmoms again).  Luckily, CPO has us create our Lifebooks in Shutterfly, so they are easy to reproduce.  Our current Lifebook was done last year after we moved to Kansas, so it was full of pictures with Norman.  Unfortunately, I had to replace all those pictures, since Norman is no longer with us (talk about adding salt to the wound, huh?).  It is all ready to go now, and we'll get it ordered/sent tonight or tomorrow.  Then, we wait...again.

We've been so blessed by the prayers, encouragement, support, virtual hugs, and excitement from our family and friends as we've been on this latest adoption journey these past 7 months since being chosen by "J."  We certainly appreciate all of it, and we are really doing ok.  We have a 6th anniversary to celebrate tomorrow, and although we'd hoped to be celebrating under different circumstances, we still have so much that we're thankful for.  God has brought us through so much these past 6 years, and I know there will be many more trials and tough times.  That's life, ya know?  The difference is that we have an incredible hope, and boy, has that hope been made more real to me in the past few years than ever.  We've been able to live in the knowledge that "the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:7).  That is the only way I can describe the peace we feel, because it sure isn't coming from us...we'd be wrecks if we didn't have it.

Still praising our God...

30 Day Shred - Day Thirty!!

Mission accomplished! I completed Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred in 30 days! So glad to have made it all the way...and now begins the real discipline: my plan to continue "shredding" 3-4 days per week while mixing it up with some running, etc. I was kind of over the shred today knowing it was my last day, so I'm ready for a break. Only thing is...it can't be too much of a break because knowing myself, if I fall off the wagon, it gets harder and harder to get back on it.

I have been doing the shred first thing every morning (which is tough when I already don't like getting out of bed, but oh, so worth it when it's done and I have the whole day ahead of me). This morning, I had Bible study at 9 am, so that meant an early date with Jillian and then being out of the house before Steve came home from work. I sent him a quick text to let him know I finished my shred and was off to Bible study, and then headed out the door. When I came out to my car after Bible study, I noticed something on my windshield. As I walked up to the car, I saw a beautiful red gerbera daisy (one of my faves) and a note from my sweetheart inviting me out to lunch to celebrate the successful 30 day challenge. How amazing is he?!? Turns out he was parked a few rows away watching the whole thing and he called me as I started my car (he was afraid I was going to drive away!). Such a great surprise! Steve took me out to my favorite sushi restaurant and then to our favorite frozen yogurt place. I sure love that man. And I declare this 30 Day Challenge a huge success!

To top off our amazing day, we had an appointment to meet our pediatrician this afternoon. He was the one recommended by all of my KC friends, so I pretty much knew we would be going with that practice. But it was cemented even more after meeting with him today. It was a no-cost "new patient" consultation, and he spent 45 minutes with us! Such a great doctor, and he answered all of our questions, as well as gave us some great advice for our time in Oklahoma before we bring our little guy back to Kansas. Now we just need that sweet baby boy to get here :) Only 16 days until his due date...keep the prayers coming!

Zoo Adventure

We have had some beautiful weather here in Kansas…a bit of a warm-up the last couple days, but today we settled back into gorgeous Fall temperatures. I used to hate Fall, but realized that I only hated it because it led to Winter. Fall is actually my favorite season now! Anyhow, to take advantage of the wonderful day (and a “buy-one-cookie-get-one-free” coupon I had…haha), we ventured out to the Kansas City Zoo. My parents give us a zoo membership each year for our anniversary and we love it! Free dates all year long! I can’t wait to bring kiddos to the zoo, but Steve and I have also enjoyed several trips to the various zoos in places we’ve lived since we’ve been married (the Minnesota Zoo, the Oklahoma City Zoo, and now the Kansas City Zoo…all wonderful in their own unique ways).

We seemed to get to the zoo at naptime…all the animals were asleep! Luckily, they were also taking advantage of the nice weather, so they were all napping in the sunshine and we could still see them. Adorable! First, we saw the leopard…snug as a bug in a rug. Doesn’t look so dangerous when it’s sleeping, huh?

Then, we hung out with the gorillas. This one was all curled up by the tree.

This guy was Steve’s favorite. He was just chillin’…

I, personally, was fond of this guy. He was sitting in a pose that seemed to be saying “Wazzup?” which totally reminded me of my Dad (anyone that knows my Dad will understand this...and no, I'm not saying he reminds me of a gorilla).

As I was getting my phone out to send a picture to my Dad, he decided it was naptime, too.

I could have hung out with those guys all day…but we kept trucking along the Africa exhibit and came upon a pride of lions. Aren’t they amazing?

In keeping with the spirit of The Lion King’s recent re-release into theaters, we checked out the Meerkats (Timon, anyone?)

Two of them were completely out cold, but one still had a bit of exploring to do.

Until he decided it was also sleepy time. Haha!

Don’t worry; they always have a buddy on the lookout for any predators.

This is actually called the Sentry. Their role is to watch for predators or other potential dangers. The zoo is quite educational!

Our final animal stop along the way was the Rhino, who was also quite tired. The shadow of his eyelid makes it look like his eye is open, but he is also sound asleep.

Thus concludes our Kansas City Zoo Nap Tour. Well, except for a quick stop for our cookies on the way out…yummy! We had such a fun day at the zoo. Hopefully next time we go, we'll have a stroller in tow!

30 Day Shred - Day Eighteen

We're well over halfway, folks! I am so excited about keeping up with this challenge. Even when we were out of town on Monday (we got to meet our birthmom for the first time!), I wrote down the different circuits and their respective times, and Steve talked me through the entire 25ish minute workout right there in our hotel room. I actually think I probably worked out even harder that day because I moved right from exercise to exercise (while using the DVD, I sometimes slack a bit while Jillian explains each move). It felt so good to continue the Shred even when I wasn't in my own living room. Still working Level 2 and it is still kicking my tail each day, but it definitely feels better than it did the first few times I tried it :) My plan is to move up to Level 3 on Day 21...I'm already nervous about it. Once this 30 day challenge is done, I plan to keep up with the Shred, but more on a 3-4 days per week basis, and also add some running to the mix as well. Like my friend Kellie has said, I don't want to go through this part of the whole "getting used to working out" again (i.e. crazy soreness), so I am really hoping to stick with it after this 30 days is complete!

Here's to 18 days down, 12 to go! Day 19, here I come!

30 Day Shred - Day Twelve

Whew! I'm still truckin' along with the 30 day shred. It seriously is a great workout, and I feel like I'm getting more toned than I thought possible in a short time. That Jillian knows what she's doing :) Yesterday, Day 11, I moved up to Level 2 of the workout. I'll admit, I was a bit presumptuous in assuming that it "can't be that much harder, right?" Ummmmm...nope. Definitely not right. Yesterday's workout was a doozy! Today did feel a bit better, but I am already dreading my planned move to Level 3 in 8 days. I can't imagine what that is going to be like. Wait, would this situation qualify for the "Don't be anxious about tomorrow, for today has enough worries of it's own" verse in Matthew 6:34? Yes. Yes, I think so.

This has also been my biggest work stretch since I started at Starbucks 9 months ago. I worked 6 of the last 7 days...and one of those days, I worked in the morning and then went back to work the evening/close shift. Luckily, I love my job and the people I work with! But it has definitely been a busy week. Soon, I won't have the luxury of extra time to pick up more shifts at work (thanks to a certain little bundle arriving in October! Yay!) so I figure I might as well get the extra dinero while I can, right?

Well, that's my update. My fellow shredders are also still on the wagon! A couple had to take a few days off due to illness or travel plans, but we're all still in it! I am so excited to see the benefits from our hard work. And yes, I will admit fully that it is hard work (but oh, so worth it). Onto Day 13!

Finally...the Moment We've Been Waiting For...

This has been announced on Facebook, and elsewhere, but I need to make it "Blog Official." Mostly because I want to use this as a memory book of sorts, so I need to be sure it's recorded here!! After lots and lots (and lots) of waiting in our journey to become parents...we have been chosen by a birthmom!! It seems to get more and more real as the due date gets closer, so I figured I'd better get this recorded on the blog pronto!

We actually got the call back on March 27th. We found out there was a birthmother that picked us, and was due this fall. Whew, what a wait! We are so, so thankful for "J" and the gift she is giving us...a baby boy! He's due October 13th. Just 5 1/2 weeks away! Since we found out so early, and haven't had a lot of communication (bummer...we are still praying that we can build a relationship with our amazing birthmom and her family), it just hasn't seemed very real. Now, things are getting closer, and we are having a hard time keeping our excitement at bay. We are cautiously optimistic, and continue to pray for "J," her family, and, of course our sweet baby boy!

Another answer to prayer is that we get to meet "J" next week! We pray that she will see the light of Christ in us, and that there will be peace for everyone involved based on this meeting. It's such a blessing to be able to meet our birthmom before this little guy is born, and we pray that God can use us in "J's" life so that she knows just how loved she is by our family. Anyone that knows me knows that I just want to smother her with love, encouragement, and affirmation, but the road of open adoption is a tricky one. We have to really be sensitive to "J's" needs/wants/desires and make sure that above all else, she is comfortable with the relationship that we have, no matter how open it is.

I'll leave you all with some answers to the most common questions/comments we've been getting. Thank you for being a part of this journey! This is just the beginning!

Do you have a name picked out?
We have been slow on this one. I think we've just been really guarded about the whole thing, and it is a big job to name a child! We have given him a couple nicknames up to this point, as I have enjoyed playing up his meteorologist daddy. We've been calling him "Hale Storm Irwin" and "Storm Chasen Irwin"...haha! These are not the real names we're considering at this point...hehe. We are close to settling on a name, but we're going to see if "J" wants to have any input. We'd definitely be open to that! We've also decided to keep the name a surprise, so once we do actually decide...you will just have to wait in suspense! :) Don't worry...not much longer!

You'll probably get pregnant now that you're adopting.
Oh man, if I had a quarter for every time someone said that to me. :) Everyone seems to "know someone who knows someone" that has adopted and then subsequently conceived a biological child. This could definitely happen (especially since we've had no proven infertility), but it is actually statistically not common. This is one of those myths that can give the wrong impression, so I wanted to "debunk" it here. Even if it were the case, we'd hate for our adopted child to ever think that he or she was simply the catalyst we used in order to have biological children. We've always said that our desire, first and foremost, is to be parents, regardless of how God chooses to build our family. Although most people that make the comment that "you'll probably have your 'own' child now" are well-meaning, it can give the implication that our adopted children were not our first choice. We can't wait to see how God builds our family, and hope that our friends and family understand what a blessing adoption is in its own right. Adoption is definitely not "Plan B" for us :)

What if "J" changes her mind?
Well, that is definitely a possibility. Adoption is never a sure thing. That is one reason why we are so invested in caring for the birthmom first. We want to be sure she knows we're 100% behind her in any decision she makes. The bottom line is, this is her baby first. We would be absolutely honored if she entrusts us with this sweet boy, but we also understand that we are not entitled to him by any means. This is one roller coaster that we are happy to be on for the long haul. We continuously pray that God keeps our focus outward, and not on ourselves. Some days this is easier than others, but He is faithful, and we can trust our hearts to His care. No matter what happens in this situation, He's got our backs. How awesome is that?

That's all I can think of for now, but if anyone has questions, please don't hesitate to ask! We love educating people about open adoption (as we've had a lot to learn, and will continue to learn along the way). It's such an incredible thing to be a part of, and we wouldn't change our journey to parenthood, regardless of the twists and turns we've had over the past 3 1/2 years.

More updates to come! We're so excited to meet "J" next week, and we definitely appreciate your prayers as we continue this journey to our first child!

30 Day Shred - Day Eight

Whew! I've made it 8 days in row! I don't know that I've ever worked out eight days in a row before...this is an accomplishment! Even during my high school days on the synchronized swim team, we practiced 6 days a week, so I had a day off. The fact that the Shred is only 20 minutes long (ok, 22...my friend Jessica timed it...haha) makes it easy to commit to and follow through. I figure I waste that much time (and then some) every day, so what's 20 minutes out of my life each day? And it is such a great feeling to know that I'm making a good choice toward being healthy and taking care of this body God has given me! Now I need to get better about the eating part :)

The soreness has definitely worn off, but I still feel each workout, which is satisfying (then I know I'm still pushing myself each workout). My goal is to move up to Level 2 after Day 10!

So thankful for my Shred buddies who are along for this ride with me! It has really helped keep me accountable!

30 Day Shred - Day Two

Oh. My. Word. I haven't been this sore in awhile...but it is such a great kind of sore (painful, yes, but it means my muscles are responding quickly!). Thanks to my proclamation from yesterday, I felt quite obligated to get the Shred done before leaving for work today. I am so glad I did. I basically hobbled around all day at work, though. Sat down for 20 minutes during lunch and realized upon standing up that it had been a mistake. I could hardly walk! Uff da! Jillian Michaels...you are right...20 minutes can lead to quite an effective workout. I'm sold. 28 days to go...

30 Day Shred - Day One

A few months ago, I purchased the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred DVD and it's been sitting happily in our TV stand cabinet, unopened. A few weeks ago, I started saying that I wanted to get through an entire shred before October 13th (the reason to be revealed "coming soon to a blog post near you," but most of you readers are people that know why that is a special day). Well...October 13th is coming soon, and I'm running out of my 30 day window!

I mentioned the Shred (that's what we people "in the know" call it..."The Shred"...since we're cool like that) to my friend Jessica, and she mentioned that she has been struggling with motivation in her weight loss journey. I'm all about creating healthy habits, rather than just participating in trends based on how I'm "feeling" at a particular time, so I jumped all over the idea of the two of us holding each other accountable, while also blogging about it (another wonderful form of accountability!)...she agreed - probably in a moment of pure insanity - but agreed nonetheless! Then, our friend Kellie and Jessica's friend Erin saw our challenge posted on facebook and asked if they could join, to which we said OF COURSE! The more the merrier (what can I say, I'm a people pleaser, so the more people I have to "not disappoint" the better). We're happy to have the company, so if you want to join us, please do!

Now, for the report. Day One was good...more intense than I thought it would be (ok, so it was more like "picking up the remote to turn off the DVD at the end was a challenge" kind of intense), but we all did it! We're in 3 different states, so thank goodness for the internet to keep us in touch and accountable! I am looking forward to this jump start in getting more in shape and toned, but really the biggest thing is discipline for me. I am happy to be making better choices and forming healthier habits.

Tomorrow will be a bit tougher for me, as I work at Starbucks from 7:30 - 3:30. I worked full time in the business world for 10 years, but retail is a whole different monster...8 hours wipes me out! My plan is to do the Shred before work so I don't have to worry about putting it off when I get home. And now that I have told the entire blog world...I'd better make it happen! Onto Day Two!

The Hills Are Alive {Again}...

Remember this post when I had that insane dance audition? I couldn’t believe when Theatre in the Park posted the cast lists for their summer season and I was on one of them! I had the privilege of being cast in the role of Sister Margaretta in The Sound of Music. I know…this is the third time I’ve done this show, but I've played different roles each time (Liesl in 2001, Ensemble Nun at Lyric Theatre in 2008, and now Sister Margaretta in 2011!). Plus, I was named after a character in it, so I figure it’s ok. Haha! It was such a great experience, and of course I met some amazing people. Performing on that huge stage at the largest outdoor community theatre in the country was a pretty awesome thing. What made it even better was the fact that I had so many family and friends come and support me, some from as far as Minnesota and California!

Here are some pictures of the show. You can also go to the photographer’s website to see (lots) more.

Natalie (Mother Abbess – isn’t her make-up job amazing?), Jackie (Maria), and me

This is what happens when you have a lot of time between scenes…nuns playing cards

Featured Nuns with Franz, the butler. From L to R: Natalie (Mother Abbess), Rachel (Sister Sophia), Tom (Franz), me (Sister Margaretta), and Joyce (Sister Berthe)

And some goofiness with Maria!

Natalie’s folks brought her this sweet bear for opening night. She took on a character all her own. Meet Sister Masha.

“The Liesls!” Me and Bethany (Liesl)

Nice close-up of Jackie and me. I was so blessed by new friends in this cast!

And of course, the kids who stole the show…the Von Trapp Kids!

Sabrina (Marta) cleaning up the dressing room. Child labor??

“The Von Trapp Children don’t play, they sweep”

Millie (Gretl) was helping Bethany (Liesl) with her make-up. This is community theatre, after all.

Me and sweet Avery (Brigitta). The kids had some quick costume changes, and I was Avery’s helper.

I’m hoping to be able to do another show with Theatre in the Park next summer…it was such an incredible experience!

Did I mention...

...how blessed I am? As I go back through the pictures that I need to post here, I am reminded of how God has surrounded me with so many amazing people. Family and friends that support me, love me, and make me who I am. Since I've moved around so much in the last several years, many of "my people" are out of state. Some in Minnesota, some in California, some in Oklahoma...all places I've lived in the last seven years. How lucky am I that people came from as far as Minnesota and California to come see The Sound of Music? For two weekends in a row, we had the blessing of friends and family visiting and I know that is such a statement of God's provision in our lives. He has not only provided Steve with a job here in Kansas that uses his very specialized degree in Meteorology, but he's also provided support for us wherever we land. And then that support system continues to be a part of our lives even as we move from place to place!

Our first June visitors were Steve's parents (I have incredible in-laws, by the way) and also my best friend Gretchen, her mom Diane (who is really like one of my other moms), and her sweet little boy Aden (her hubby Ryan had to stay back and work - bummer!). We had such fun while they were here. Of course, we took them to Shawnee Mission Park and they braved the heat and enjoyed the sunshine with us. Steve and his dad got to do a little fishing, too! They caught (and released) some good ones.

We also had a little visitor while fishing...gave me the heebeejeebees! Ewwww!

Saturday afternoon, before Gretchen, Diane and Aden left, and before our call time for that night's Sound of Music performance, we had a great barbeque at the park. Here's Aden enjoying his dinner. Isn't he precious?!? Love that boy.

It was wonderful to share that time with family and friends, and we got even more of the same the following weekend when my parents, my brother Eric and sister-in-law Katherine, and my friend Kristine came into town. It had been seven months since I'd seen my parents and Eric & Katherine, and five years since I'd seen Kristine!

Of course, besides providing them with entertainment in the form of a lovely evening of theatre (pronounced theat-ah, for effect), we also put my dad to work. Haha. I am in the process of making cloth wipes (to go along with my hopes of being a cloth diapering momma), and asked if I could use their serger to allow for better looking edges on the fabric. My dad loves a challenge, and it had been awhile since the serger had been used, so he enjoyed navigating the trickiness that is the serger. Unfortunately, by the time we figured it out, we only had time to serge two wipes. Oops! I'll be finishing the rest soon.

It was also fun to take them to a couple of our favorite eating venues. We don't go out to eat much, so it's fun to have a reason! There is a fabulous little brunch place near us that makes the most incredible food! If you are ever in the Kansas City area, I highly recommend checking out Eggtc (catchy name, huh?). Based on the smiles, I think our guests approved (Eric and Katherine hadn't gotten to KC quite yet...they'll have to take part in the deliciousness next time).

Another favorite was a trendy new self-serve frozen yogurt place called Peachwave. We are enamored with this place. They sent us grand opening coupons in the mail, which proved to be an excellent marketing tool, because we keep going back! Kristine and I ate there almost every day that she was here...for reals. It's that good.

Here is my brother and his lovely bride.

Seriously...look at these masterpieces. YUM!

And, well, you guessed it...we went to the park. It was pretty hot out, so we didn't stay long, but we did come across some cute little families. These yearlings (teenage geese, as I like to call them) kept getting closer and closer to us as they picked through the grass for bugs (or whatever they were hoping to eat). Their dad walks right up to us and starts hissing! Seriously, dude, keep your kids in line, don't hiss at us when they are getting in our space. Geez...parents these days. Ha!

We had so much fun with our 2nd weekend's worth of visitors. And an extra bonus was that Kristine stayed with us for a few more days before heading to Vegas (she is one busy girl! So many vacations to take, so many people vying for her presence!). Kristine is a chef, and an avid Food Network fan. She's visited several restaurants that have been featured on the show Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives. Kansas City is famous for its barbeque, so she did her research and introduced us to some amazing BBQ! The best ones are the hole-in-the-wall places, and it was so much fun to discover so many new places to eat here in KC! One of our favorites was Woodyard BBQ...it was so good! They even let Kristine cook! Well, maybe...

We're so blessed to have had lots of visitors in June. Thanks everyone for coming to see us, and supporting another one of my theatre adventures! Next up...pics of the show! Can't believe it was over a month ago...this summer is FLYING! What fun things are you doing this summer?

Month of Ups and Downs...

I'll touch on each of these soon in their own separate blog posts, but here are a few highlights of our past month:

-Up...I got cast in one of the shows at Theatre in the Park! You can guess based on this blog post that I was very pleasantly surprised to see my name when they posted the cast lists for the season. Was honored to play Sister Margaretta in their first show of 2011 - one of my personal favorites (for obvious reasons), The Sound of Music. SUCH a blast...they are already onto their 2nd show of the season (my, how time flies!) and I am so happy to now be a part of the Theatre in the Park family!

-Down...we said goodbye to our baby, Norman, over Memorial Day weekend. He was suffering from cluster seizures and we had to make an agonizing decision to put him down. One of the worst experiences we've had to deal with as a couple (rivaling Memorial Day weekend 2008, when we miscarried our first baby)

-Up...we completed the process to become licensed foster parents! We cannot wait to welcome some kiddos into our home, yet our hearts break as we realize their world will be rocked by whatever circumstances lead to their need for temporary care

-Up...we had great times with several groups of visitors who came to town to see The Sound of Music. My best friend Gretchen, along with her mom and her son Aden were among the first. Then Steve's parents came, followed by my parents and my brother and sister-in-law. So blessed with their visits! My friend Kristine also came to visit all the way from California...and I hadn't seen her in 5 (way too) long years! Again, more to come in separate posts.

So...mainly "ups," with a very sad "down." Even in the sad parts, though, we are just so thankful for what God has given us, where He is bringing us (as a couple, and also closer to Him), and the people He's used to bless us. I can't wait to fill you in...

At long last...the call that {almost} changed our lives forever...

Well, now that it's been almost 4 months since this occurred, I'd better document it for my patient reader(s?) :) You may remember from this post, that Steve and I had a pretty exciting several days back in January. We'd just had a great day at the park Cross Country Skiing and enjoying God's amazing creation and were at home relaxing and watching some Jeopardy (I know...another wild afternoon at the Irwin's place!). My cell phone rang and it was the director of CPO (our agency)...she was needing a copy of our original home study, because she couldn't find it. She said that they were getting pretty busy, and she wanted to be sure she had immediate access to our file, rather than continuing to look for her other copy. "No problem," I said, feeling so great to be in touch with them again. As you probably remember, our agency's primary purpose is as a ministry to birthmoms in crisis pregnancies. Many of these birthmoms choose adoption plans for their babies, so they need to have families for these babies - "providing families for babies, not babies for families." Anyway, since they are taking such great care of these birthmoms (CPO supports these girls through either choice: parenting or an adoption plan, which is one of the things I just love about them), coupled with the fact that we are out of the Tulsa area, we don't get to be as involved with them as we'd like to be. This also means that we can feel "out of the loop" in many ways. We completely stand behind CPO and their ministry, so we understand that it's not about us...it's about these girls. But still, it was so nice to hear Cheryl's voice, reconnect, and get to talk to her for a bit.

After I hung up the phone, I actually lamented to Steve a little bit (warning: selfishness creeping in here). I mentioned that I'd finally been able to stop constantly thinking about our adoption and becoming a mom, etc. and had begun enjoying life and "moving on," I guess you could say. My way of protecting my heart after almost 3 years of disappointment, I suppose. Either way, I don't ever want to "move on" or stop thinking about our adoption, because even if we don't know our birthmom yet, we still need to be praying for her every day! I think there is a big difference between contentment in our "now" and just flat out not trusting that God's best is really the best, regardless of how it compares with my perceived "best." I was definitely leaning more toward the not trusting God, and just conceding that He didn't care about me or my desires so I should just give up.

Anyhow...so we started making arrangements to fax Cheryl an extra copy of our home study and went on with our evening. Then things got interesting :) She called again about 20 minutes later and told us the actual reason behind needing our home study so quickly. There was a birthmom who was basically due that day, and she wanted to make an adoption plan. Her parents didn't even know about the pregnancy and she wanted to keep it that way. Cheryl said she (birthmom) was in touch with the CPO Doula (how cool is it that they provide a doula for these girls?!) and that the doula (Lisa) would be in touch with us soon to give us an update. Steve and I looked at each other in shock, and started making phone calls - just to our parents at that point. It was so fun to tell them that they might be grandparents so soon!! We were in a state of shock, and sort of panicked about what we still didn't have and needed. We made a trip to Target while in a bit of a cloud, I filled in our HR manager and my Team Lead about the possibility of us needing to head to Tulsa soon, and we picked up a few onesies and bottles...we had no idea what we needed to bring. After a few conversations with Lisa throughout the next day, we decided it was time for us to drive to Tulsa. We were so blessed to be welcomed into the Wyatt's home again (they were the ones that hosted us during the Waiting Families Workshop in November).

As we got to Tulsa, things were still so crazy and up in the air. The only contact that any of us had with this birthmom (BM) was over Facebook and/or email...I think Lisa had talked with her on the phone. It was a heartbreaking story (normally, I wouldn't be disclosing any of this, but once you get to the end of this post, you'll realize why it's ok). During that next couple days, things started getting a bit strange, and pieces of this story were falling apart. I won't go into details, but even as I think about the whole situation now - 4 months later - I still am so impressed with what a very believable, intricate story it was, and how things seemed to unfold and progress so naturally. As you can probably guess by now, it was not a case of the birthmother changing her mind (which is definitely a possibility in any open adoption, and we would completely support a birthmom in her decision to parent), it was a complete scam. But, here's the amazing thing. God protected our hearts in such a huge way! We went down to Tulsa with the attitude of supporting this particular BM, and not even focusing on the possibility of becoming parents. We had a strong prayer support system during those several days, and we could just feel God's peace. I think the most upset I got at the end was strictly embarrassment for "falling for" a scam...and it was short-lived. You see, there are enough "unbelievable" stories out there that do end up being completely real, that it is just too much of a risk not to support these girls when they need it. And though this particular case was a scam in terms of a fake birthmother, the fact that someone was reaching out for help remains unchanged. I pray that she - whomever she is - still saw the light of Christ in us. I just can't regret showing love to someone that clearly was reaching out for it. Another blessing was that it gave me an opportunity to talk with a birthmom for the first time (real or not), which can be an intimidating idea. And we could put our actions where our mouths have been this entire time. We of course want to be parents, but the whole reason we signed on with this particular agency is that we want to partner with them in their ministry to these birthmoms, whether we are blessed with a baby or not. God gave us a chance to actually demonstrate that.

So there you have it. The call that {almost} changed our lives. So much changed as a result of that one phone call. And although it didn't change our lives the way in which we always envisioned "the call," it refocused our perspective on God's plan for us to become parents. We now remember how important it is to pray consistently for our birthmom(s) and our future child(ren), even though the who/when/etc. details are not yet completely tangible. We were able to continue moving forward with the process of becoming licensed foster parents. We have taken the opportunity to prepare for a child to come into our home, rather than "let's just not think about it until it seems like more of a sure thing." Oh, and we also got to spend a few days with a pretty incredible family...

God is Good - ALL the time!

¹³ You created every part of me;
you put me together in my mother's womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because you are to be feared;
all you do is strange and wonderful.
I know it with all my heart.
¹⁵ When my bones were being formed,
carefully put together in my mother's womb,
when I was growing there in secret,
you knew that I was there
¹⁶ you saw me before I was born.
The days allotted to me
had all been recorded in your book,
before any of them ever began.

Psalm 139:13 - 16