blog break

I've decided to take a break from blogging for the time being. . . but please keep in touch.

crisis

When I turned 25 - I had a major turning point in my life. About 3 weeks before my 25th birthday, I found out I was accepted to law school... I thought the rest was history

But, before applying for law school -- I felt like I was suffering a quarter-life crisis. I wasn't the only one either. I talked to many of my friends at the time who had been struggling with the same issues as me. A few of us passed around this book. Life's questions and being in the 'real world' with a college degree was not all that it was supposed to be. My dreams of being a Washington-insider or a world-traveling Spanish-intellectual never become reality. But, when I received my CU Law acceptance letter, the crisis was averted. I thought I had it all figured out.

But, now that that phase of my life is over... I'm back to feeling the same way.

I don't want to call what I've been feeling lately another 'crisis', but at the same time, I don't know "what I want to be when I grow up."

I know I'm not happy in my job - or with being a 'lawyer' (although, technically, I don't even have a legal license yet).

What to do? What to do? Well, I'm starting to research and list the possibilities of what I should do; where I should go; how I can make a living and still have balance in my life with friends, family, work, and happiness. This is what I'm considering

• anything public policy oriented

1. becoming a lobbyist
2. trying to get a staff attorney job with the Colorado legislature
3. working in D.C. or locally for a state or national Senator/Congressperson
4. Running for local office myself (although this is only a partial solution, because its only part-time)

• anything academic

1. becoming a college professor (probably community college - English, Spanish, Political Science, Humanities, Anthropology... )
2. becoming a high school teacher
3. becoming a writer/publisher

Who knows what will happen - a lot depends upon luck, opportunity, the economy, etc.

If you can think of anything else that I may be missing, please share... I'm desperate for advice/life-guidance/life-coaching.

Update: I realize this is a little dramatic. Considering what's all going on in the world -- my life's dramas should not be considered a "crisis" - instead, I realize I'm lucky to have a great education, lucky to have a great job, and I'm lucky for a lot of other reasons...

weekend joy

Song [Rilo Kiley "Silver Lining"]

p.s. the lead singer here is the Jenny Lewis, the daughter in "Troop Beverly Hills" (an 80s classic)


Film [Forgetting Sarah Marshall]
i had low expectations for this movie; but i really liked it. the plot wasn't as predictable as i had expected. it was more about 'peter' than 'sarah' and it was quirky enough to want to watch again

I also saw a movie at the Denver Film Festival - which isn't even worth writing about. It was weird and depressing, despite being a Cannes Film award winner.

Strange Brew and pop culture

There's no denying that my life revolves around pop culture - even if I'd like to deny it sometimes. I blame it on growing up in the 80s; and cheesy-late-night movies on TBS and TNT.

So, I recently went to Coors Brewery on took the self-guided tour. The 'factory' portion of the tour reminded me of Strange Brew - this awful 80s movie about Canada and beer -- and "evil brewmasters." In my best Dr. Evil laugh here's the Coors Factory in Golden, CO:

[photos by Guy]

More beer:

I remember having a sip of my mom's beer when I was little and thinking it was so awful that I would never like it. Even in high school when it started to become 'cool' to drink, I couldn't stoop so low to drink beer. I stuck with rum and other sweet stuff until I actually turned 21.

Then, I spent a semester in Washington, D.C. and had no money for food. Luckily, my roommates had money for beer; and we always scored free beer and appetizers at House/Senate functions sponsored by lobbyists. Since then, I've had a change of heart... luckily, I've become a bit more picky than the "Hi-Life" days...
Here's my favorites:

Even more beer:

Here's the "beer song" - a tribute to my undergrad. This is my favorite tradition at any UW sporting event (I know you other alumni can relate). Its a classic. I can't believe I actually found this on You Tube.

lately

I've become so awful at updating my blog -- initially I was going to post another weekend joy post, but I don't want that to become all I ever post. I've shared my blog with some new readers lately -- so here's your official "WELCOME"

P.S. - Jay - next time you throw away my url, just let me know and I'll send it again; -Kristi- I hope I've convinced you to join the blog-world

P.P.S. my attempt to remain 'google-less' is working, even a ph.d computer science student couldn't find this blog on google.

Anyways, here's a few updates (see above) which in no way can cover everything that is happening in my life right now - if only time would slow down, maybe I could get caught up.

weekend joy

Song [Meiko "Reasons to Love You"]
Meiko and the Hotel Tour Cafe are coming to town this week... I have too much going on already, or else I would definitely be there... boo!

Film [Body of Lies]

way more graphic that I expected, but still a good movie nonetheless

A New Hope

• I don't want to focus on race... in the recent electoral 'races' except its so historic that I can't NOT talk about it. I never thought that it was impossible, but I just never thought our country as a whole would embrace this kind of change. I'm excited and happy to know that they have. Its a symbol of our progression and it has renewed my optimism for a better tomorrow. The road to an improved economy will not easy, but it can only get better.
  

• I heard this wonderful interview with Bill Moyers on NPR -- go listen if you have time. " Bill Moyers' View Of Contemporary America." My favorite quote:

The reputation of this administration and you'll hear this from many republicans is of incompetence, corruption and cronyism. . . it will be a long time before the country recovers from 8 years of so destructive public policy

• And... my fellow attorney - Terrance Carroll is the new Colorado Speaker of the House. He's such a great guy and he was raised in the poor neighborhoods of Washington, D.C. by his grandmother - who was a former slave. He is incredibly intelligent, moral, fair, and he's even an ordained minister. Congrats!!!

Update: I finally saw T. Carroll this week. I was able to congratulate him -- and best of all -- he actually remembered me. I'm not just a supporter of his, but an actual "acquaintance." Oddly enough -- I had to research legislative history about a law in one of our opinions this week. Out of all the bills, in all the session laws, and in all the legislative history of this state, I quoted him speaking about this particular issue in the opinion... watch for it on westlaw.

weekend joy

Song [Vampire Weekend "A-Punk"]

Film [amores perros]

karma

i'm in desperate need of my karma to to pay me a visit.

i didn't pass the bar exam (translation = i failed)

the full story is a bit complicated, depressing, disappointing and shameful... but the shortened version is that i only need a couple of points to pass

Luckily, the score was so close to the pass line that i'm granted a review of one of my answers by the top grader, which will hopefully pull me above the pass line.

i just finished writing my appeal letter and i need all the good thoughts i can get in the next few weeks that it will be successful.

*thanks*

5 days...

until we have a new president elected
i did my civic duty and exercised my constitutional rights

one person, one vote... now if only men and women earned equal pay and had other forms of equality

soulful sounds

ahh... I love nothing more than hearing great live music. Joshua Radin was amazing. And the venue was intimate - making his acoustic set even more real and raw.

there are few things in this world that I find soul soothing, but I'm feeling great this week for many reasons, one being hearing Josh's live music

(this picture does no justice, but its all i have)

Boo!

So, it's not a Martha Stewart type-carving, but I love it anyways.

[monica, robin, and me at the carving party]

trust

does anyone else have trust issues except me?

i have this blog that i love sharing with you -- i want you to know that i only share this site with my friends who i trust (except for the fact that its public, so in reality, anybody can see it) But, for those of you who comment regularly, or those of you who i've tried to recruit to visit regularly -- but probably never stop by... the following doesn't apply to you.

i guess in a way my postings are intimate, they are my daily thoughts that i would write in a journal and otherwise keep private. although, i do love your input, so i'll keep posting.

i generally have really good perception, and am very 'intuitive' in a way. (if i'm wrong, feel free to correct me) despite this, i feel like i'm a really bad judge of character. or, in avoidance of being wrong, i try to hold off judgment on people until i've had enough time to get to know them.

this in turn means that i'm weary around new friends or acquaintances. i'm so untrusting, and i can't tell if its for good cause, or if its hindering my ability to form new relationships. also, i already have such a great group of close-knit friends, and i'm not really interested anymore in forming more of those relationships. in a way though, i can't help but wonder if i'm closing myself off from making new, really great friends.

all this stems from hanging out tonight with a new group of people, whom, obviously i don't know very well. and, i'm just weary about peoples true intentions. i've learned to tell when someone is overcompensating for certain insecurities... or trying too hard. one girl tonight was super nice to me, that doesn't seem like a bad thing, right? i just can't help but doubt that her true intentions were that she was "overly" nice, so that must mean that she was faking everything. i don't want to judge her -- but was she being genuine? or covering for something?

its really hard for people, myself included, to really let down our guard and get to know people. only after i really know and care about someone, do i start to show the real me

that's it... good nite friends

weekend joy

weekend entertainment:
[Joshua Radin "Winter"]

i love all JR's music -- I'm going to his concert Tues. -- I can't wait!


weekend activities:
[happy hour]
luckily, I have great co-workers at my job, I can't wait for Fri. 5pm to hang out

[pumpkin carving]
a co-worker is having a pumpkin carving party - any ideas on what to carve?

how to be happy

so i feel like i've been in a funk lately. being in the real world again sucks. and, i've been feeling unhappy about it, about the choices i've made and about some unforeseen circumstances that really had me feeling blue.

but, i decided i needed to do something to fix that. i've even heard comments from my family lately that i've been meaner and grumpier than ever. that was really my wake up call. i don't want work and my current circumstances to keep me from truely being happy.

so... i decided today is the new. after a major attitude adjustment, i woke up early (in the dark) and i went to yoga at 6:30 am. it really helped. i was happy all day, and i decided to focus again on the yoga and other things that i know make me happy...


its especially hard right now to adjust to having less daylight everyday. i left the house at 5:45 am and didn't return tonight until 6:45 pm. that means i spent every daylight minute away from home - which is depressing in itself. hopefully the holidays will be here soon enough so that we can get back to spring. i really think holidays were created to help our ancestors get through the winter blues. why else would thanksgiving and xmas be so close together?

woo hoo! let's go girls

I had such a fantastic weekend traveling with my dear friends. We went to the Sonoma Valley in Cali. Its amazing how much fun we can fit into a three day weekend. Such sweet memories in such a short amount of time.

As always, we shopped, laughed, shared stories, got lost, drank coffee/italian sodas, and went to the hot tub. Unique to Windsor though -- we meet some 'gay' boys, tried to find a pizza joint at midnight, couldn't find stupid Sebatispol, got car sick on the windy-curvy roads, tried to follow unreliable maps, discussed falafel, wine, wine, and wine grapes... and more

*Amie and Susan, I miss you already* I already made CDs, and I'll send them soon. Amie, sorry about the Merlot mixup. We'll fix it. Tell Chad he can open the Zin if he can't wait.

[jenner sunset]

[redwood forest]

[grapes at kendall-jackson]
[champagne at korbel]

[massages at the resort]

[all photos by me, except the massage one]

2-4-6-8 who do i appreciate

thanks for those of you who helped me through today, i feel like a drama queen (but rightful so). If you have no idea what i'm talking about, i'll update you soon. i'm just a little sensitive still...

but, here's some things that make life better

• i'm leaving for vacation tomorrow -- yipee! (no law for at least three days)
• seeing old friends - who know me and love me just because -- i can be me without effort
  
• an easy work week -- hopefully there are more of these to come
  
• my new ani difranco cd
• anybody who listened to me cry and sniffle today
  
• fall in Colorado -- check out some pictures from the mountains last weekend

update: today the bar exam results were released. needlesstosay - my eyes were red and puffy from 9am until i feel asleep

the easy road

No... nothing is ever easy. But, I'm so frustrated by the lack of substance from the presidential candidates and from the media about the presidential race.

This is IMPORTANT people. Okay, so we all know that, I don't need to explain that. But, I feel like these recent speeches are just memorized platforms ... they're generic and insincere. Beginning w/ Palin and Biden last week. And, continuing with McCain and Obama today. Then, the media seeks a 'story' - they look for the 'style' of the candidates, they focus on Sarah Palin's highlights and McCain's 'game changer.'

But, neither the candidates nor the media actually discuss the issues. AHH! It's so annoying hearing everybody try to 'avoid' discussing the real issues. What we need to hear is:

• who is going to do what? please ... be specific
• who is ready for real change?
• who is strong/brave enough to ween this country off of oil -- and face the giant oil officials who aren't going to quietly sit by and watch their profits diminish and advocate for new techologies? -- sorry people -- drilling is not the answer, it will only prolong the inevitable and ruin our precious resources in the meantime. Otherwise, we will continue to perpetuate the need to overconsume and pay those who control more that they should.
  
• Who is going to appoint a Cabinet that is unafraid to regulate again?
  
• Who is going to be accountable when Congress can't agree?
• Who is going to start spending my tax money on schools instead of war, or Chinese loans?

So much of the talk right now surrounds issues that the President doesn't even control. The president cannot make new laws, change healthcare, raise taxes, spend taxes, revive the economy, etc. That is the job of Congress. He can only influence... here are some presidential duties:

• Pardon felons
• Issue executive orders (some lawmaking functions)
• Issue executive agreements (with foreign countries)
• Veto bills
• Appoint cabinet members, who run/manage the administrative agencies (who issue laws in the form of regulations)
• Control military (commander-in-chief)

for the love of pink

i completed the race for the cure today in denver, it was a beautiful morning and i was surrounded by pink everywhere. Also, I was happy with my time, but i wished i could ran more of it.

each year that i've gone to the race, i think -- 'i should buy a pink boa for next year' or, 'wouldn't it be great to wear pink TuTus next year'

Luckily, those thoughts fade away quickly. Today, though, I was left thinking... 'i really need a pair of bright pink sweatpants.'

Hum...

We'll have to wait and see if that really happens. I would never buy the ones with words on the ass, I don't want that kind of attention. I don't think its realistic to buy them to wear just one day a year. And, I'm not sure if they'd bring the 'good' attention I'd want from the cute guys in my new boot camp workout at the gym.

Palin is a Maverick

p.s. * thanks for the forward Amanda - I made some of these same comments myself throughout the weekend, whenever I shared my thoughts about the debate... plus, all I can think is Tom Cruise whenever she says "Maverick"

SNL funnies

California Adventure

Here are some pictures from my recent Cali trip - L.A. - Santa Monica - the Valley - and of course, the most magical place on earth

all apologies

hello again blog-world:

my apologies for being a sporadic poster. I promise I'm still here. Here is my excuse for the lack of interesting things to post about . . .

[desk example, not my actual workspace]

But, in an attempt to keep this disastrous clutter at bay, today I checked out: "Feng Shui your Workplace for Dummies." Hopefully it will help me bring some calm to the storm that is my appellate case load and giant records.

ani, why?

Dearest Ani:

Why would you play Denver and not give me advance notice? I just heard -- and of course, you're concert started 45 minutes ago! Ugh.

Sincerely,
so disappointed.

Michelle OBAMA rocks.

DNC excitement is everywhere. I didn't really feel it in Denver today - but its evident in the media (radio, internet, TV).

There were not 25,000 protestors outside my office building as expected. Instead, I saw a gazillion Colorado State Patrols in/near my office building today, on the street and by the light rail. I wish I felt this safe all the time.

Plus, I did see two men in suits trying to hail a cab near my bus stop. It was far out of the ordinary. I don't even think of cabs in Denver -- which is nothing like NYC, or any other major city, where you can hail a cab anywhere. These men were unsuccessful for about 10 minutes (probably longer) and I tried not to laugh at these 'tourists.'

Then, I headed out of Denver ... sadly wishing I could stay and people-watch in an attempt to squish next to Leo DiCaprio on the 16th Street Shuttle (ya right, like he would ever be on there next to us 'normal folk'), or scream hysterically if I even caught a glimpse of Oprah.

Tonight though, I was excited to watch Michelle O's speech (even if it was from the couch and not in person). It was great. She's this generation's Jackie O. I haven't paid as much attention to the campaigns as I should. So, this is the first exposure I've had to the - future - Mrs. President (a/k/a first lady).
It was love at first sight. She's eloquent, intelligent, and a perfect example of the type-of strong-motherly-independent female figure we need supporting/aiding/loving one of the most important men in the free-world. I was already convinced to vote for -O- but now, I'm not going to be shy about convincing everyone else of that task either.

We need a new direction in the U.S. We're slowly losing respect from the rest of the world, from the emerging world leaders (who won't be afraid to squish us like bugs if necessary) and from our own apathetic citizenry. While losing world superpower status isn't necessarily a bad thing, losing respect is. Our voice still demands to be heard (hopefully, "a new voice") with that will help us lead by example, promote humanitarian ways, and take steps that better this world instead of make it worse.

There is a glimmer of hope remaining in my heart that if Obama takes office we can stop digging ourselves into a shithole that Bush began to tunnel eight years ago (and his dad broke ground with 21 years ago).

netflix fiasco

Ugh! In my moving madness, I seemed to have misplaced my netflix movies. What to do, what to do?

I swear, I found them in a box just a couple days ago. Then, last night when insomnia kicked it, I couldn't find them to save my life. Alas, I had to settle for some reruns (albeit funny reruns) of That 70's Show instead.

I've already had these movies for more than 4 weeks, they're so old, I don't even remember what I'm missing. But, I'm ready to start my movie watching again in a futile attempt to get through the 100+ movies on my list (and continue my weekend entertainment reports for you all).

I guess I'll keep hunting for another couple of days, but if I can't find them I'm tempted to contact Netflix and just pay for them. Maybe I can convince them that if I find them later that they should refund me... hum. Unlikely.

Update: I just logged in, I'm missing "Batman Begins" (I wanted to watch it before I go see The Dark Night). And, Gone Baby Gone (which I've had since June 23, seriously how have I not found time to watch it in over 60 days).

Update 2: Whew... I found them!

wall decor advice

I want to order these prints for my new office. They're small, but I'd love to frame them with big mats in a solid black frame. (5x5 or 8x8 in 11 x 14 frames)

[from artist Alicia Bock at Etsy]

My second choice would be something crazy and colorful from Kandinsky. Just one big print though (maybe 16x20) like this --

[W. Kandisnky - Improvisation No. 23]

What do you think?
I can't keep looking at blah beige walls for much longer...