Yes, I drove again.
It all begin with a casual chat while waiting for the guys to finish up their stick and MrGoh suggested to let me take over the wheels.
And I did, driving his whole family and Wendy from Parkway Parade to Balastier last night.
I'm proud cos this is the 1st time I'm driving MrGoh.
He never got the chance to be chauffeured by me during his BMT days.
I still have this problem of "drifting" which MrGoh's dad says I should be able to correct it if I drive often.
We were supposed to be heading back towards MrGoh's place after dinner but had to stop at Balastier for a number of reasons. The traffic was a little busy and I had to go at 80km/h or slower and Wendy urgently needs the toilet.
Saturday was also MrGoh's sister's birthday so we had Buffet dinner at The Paramount, a Tung Lok Group restaurant. We had ala carte dinner whereby we can order any amount/serving of the food listed on the given menu. It was a busy place during dinner time when we visited, however, the lady serving us, still managed to be a very good host. She also commented that we had very little compared to the other tables.
I guess that's due to the intercontinental lunch we had at Shangri-La earlier that day. Almost holland-ed, not a very accessible place by public transport.
We had lunch right after the site inspection.
The hall was sectioned into 3 partitions so I couldn't picture what it's like when it's not.
Anyway, we have to wait till our coordinator in charge is back before any further decisions or discussions.
Overall, I had a fun day and I wished I could have the chance to drive more often. :)
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Not-so-random Note.
The weather had been cooling for the past few days since Monday.
*Great! I LOVE IT!*
However, yesterday wasn't as good as the weather had been.
I had a hell of hectic workload and had to cope work with the overwhelming information at the same time.
Felt unfair cos MrGoh wasn't understanding at all but he made it up later on when we talk about the problem.
Journey home wasn't that pleasant too.
Thank god that all the 'badness' went away when I met Mom to shop at Sun Plaza.
Today was better. Though busy, lovely, I'd say. =D
---
A major project is under works now.
We got started on the invitation lists already and it's still expanding.
Started planning and all, slowly, step by step.
Most of the preferred venues are booked.
Headaches.
Venue inspection this Saturday.
*Great! I LOVE IT!*
However, yesterday wasn't as good as the weather had been.
I had a hell of hectic workload and had to cope work with the overwhelming information at the same time.
Felt unfair cos MrGoh wasn't understanding at all but he made it up later on when we talk about the problem.
Journey home wasn't that pleasant too.
Thank god that all the 'badness' went away when I met Mom to shop at Sun Plaza.
Today was better. Though busy, lovely, I'd say. =D
---
A major project is under works now.
We got started on the invitation lists already and it's still expanding.
Started planning and all, slowly, step by step.
Most of the preferred venues are booked.
Headaches.
Venue inspection this Saturday.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Great Weather Today! =)
I'm totally in love with this morning's weather.
It's a great start for the day with sunshine and cooling breeze welcoming you.
How I wish Singapore's weather will be like this 365days throughout!
The weather this morning totally reminds me of mid-Summer/early Autumn in Denmark.
So refreshing!
I would always describe it as "Aircon in the open air".
I lifted the ban on heels today and I felt so 'myself' again in heels to work.
But guess what, I tripped slightly on my way back home at the carpark exit.
Was talking to Mom and didn't notice the small pit and there I went, "ouch".
I won't be visiting the TCM physician anytime soon cos I will have to wait till I finish taking 15pills per day for 12days. And it's 15pills at one time. omg.
To end the post, a picture of the watch I bought the other day at Far East.
I love the prints. =)
And I realised, it looked similar to this.
The pouch is really cute but I don't really have use for it, so am selling it really cheap. It's Brand New btw. =)
So I digressed, here's the picture! =)
p/s: Still can't load pictures with Blogger though. Managed to load it up with Picasa. Thank god that it's only one picture. =) I used to have problems with Picasa when it's more than 4, I think.
It's a great start for the day with sunshine and cooling breeze welcoming you.
How I wish Singapore's weather will be like this 365days throughout!
The weather this morning totally reminds me of mid-Summer/early Autumn in Denmark.
So refreshing!
I would always describe it as "Aircon in the open air".
I lifted the ban on heels today and I felt so 'myself' again in heels to work.
But guess what, I tripped slightly on my way back home at the carpark exit.
Was talking to Mom and didn't notice the small pit and there I went, "ouch".
I won't be visiting the TCM physician anytime soon cos I will have to wait till I finish taking 15pills per day for 12days. And it's 15pills at one time. omg.
To end the post, a picture of the watch I bought the other day at Far East.
I love the prints. =)
And I realised, it looked similar to this.
The pouch is really cute but I don't really have use for it, so am selling it really cheap. It's Brand New btw. =)
So I digressed, here's the picture! =)
p/s: Still can't load pictures with Blogger though. Managed to load it up with Picasa. Thank god that it's only one picture. =) I used to have problems with Picasa when it's more than 4, I think.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Gross Movie
Caught the movie "The Last House on the Left" together with MrGoh, his pal & gf last evening.
It's a movie with a some nudity but that's not the disgusting part.
I would say it's the violence and blood that grosses me out.
Other than that, we also went to have our Fortune told by a Malaysian Master, together with MrGoh's parents in the late noon/early evening.
Well, I'm not a superstitious person and actually I didn't intend to have my fortune read by the Master but I was intrugued by what the Master would say about my future.
Overall, my comment is that what he says share alot of similarities with what Master Milin said.
I'll keep what they say (the good and the bad stuff) with an open mind; try not to fall into the self-fulfilling prophecy trap.
Just have to remind myself to keep cool with my temperament and take care of my own health.
Still cannot load pictures for now.
Maybe later or tml. =)
It's a movie with a some nudity but that's not the disgusting part.
I would say it's the violence and blood that grosses me out.
Other than that, we also went to have our Fortune told by a Malaysian Master, together with MrGoh's parents in the late noon/early evening.
Well, I'm not a superstitious person and actually I didn't intend to have my fortune read by the Master but I was intrugued by what the Master would say about my future.
Overall, my comment is that what he says share alot of similarities with what Master Milin said.
I'll keep what they say (the good and the bad stuff) with an open mind; try not to fall into the self-fulfilling prophecy trap.
Just have to remind myself to keep cool with my temperament and take care of my own health.
Still cannot load pictures for now.
Maybe later or tml. =)
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Movie, yet again!
Finally I got the chance to catch "The Hangover" with MrGoh before it closes in the cinemas.
I would say, the movie is funny and the ending is a little unexpected.
MrGoh sent me home after the movie and we had a long talk on the phone.
Actually I was having a headache and planning to catch a little sleep before going to the chinese physician later in the evening.
But good thing that we talked about some issues and came to an agreement.
吴青鸿，这次不要忘记你对我的承诺了，好吗？
Whatever it is, MrGoh, I really appreciate that you took the initiative to do the things that you did and I'll keep that close to my heart.
Remember what you promised me, be open to me and don't lie to me again okie; not even white lies.
If you must, don't let me find out hor...okie? =)
And thank you for tolerating my long-windedness cos I really need that constant assurance for now and I know you are doing all you can to assure/comfort me, right?
I'm a happy little girl now.
---
To my dearest,
Since teenage years, I've always looked up to you and I guess you played a significant part in my life, moulding and shaping my character.
I didn't realise this until recently. I was told, "you wasn't like this when you were young". Then I came to think, cos I saw that in you and it was so natural that I wanted to be / became like you. I felt it was so cool.
Somehow, all these shaped me. It's part and parcel of growing up, I guess.
Now, in another stage of my life, I think I ought to tone down abit on my character, my stubborn-ness, my hot-temper. I'm trying to -- relive the child in me. Become a little girl yet not losing my principles.
Nothing in particular why I wrote this, just wanted to pen down my thoughts.
I'm a happy girl.
But I still can't tell from my instincts yet.
I want to learn to trust my instincts. =)
---
Came back from the chinese physician and she says my body is weak. Weak gastric/stomach.
Have to refrain from cold drinks.
If all goes well, the temporary ban on heels shld be lifted by this coming Monday.
My knees are much better now.
Today is the 1st day of the Lunar 7th Month.
We prayed and did offerings at the void-deck after dad picked Mom & I up from the TCM clinic.
---
I finally understood what's the complaints with Blogger about.
I can't upload pictures now. =(
I would say, the movie is funny and the ending is a little unexpected.
MrGoh sent me home after the movie and we had a long talk on the phone.
Actually I was having a headache and planning to catch a little sleep before going to the chinese physician later in the evening.
But good thing that we talked about some issues and came to an agreement.
吴青鸿，这次不要忘记你对我的承诺了，好吗？
Whatever it is, MrGoh, I really appreciate that you took the initiative to do the things that you did and I'll keep that close to my heart.
Remember what you promised me, be open to me and don't lie to me again okie; not even white lies.
If you must, don't let me find out hor...okie? =)
And thank you for tolerating my long-windedness cos I really need that constant assurance for now and I know you are doing all you can to assure/comfort me, right?
I'm a happy little girl now.
---
To my dearest,
Since teenage years, I've always looked up to you and I guess you played a significant part in my life, moulding and shaping my character.
I didn't realise this until recently. I was told, "you wasn't like this when you were young". Then I came to think, cos I saw that in you and it was so natural that I wanted to be / became like you. I felt it was so cool.
Somehow, all these shaped me. It's part and parcel of growing up, I guess.
Now, in another stage of my life, I think I ought to tone down abit on my character, my stubborn-ness, my hot-temper. I'm trying to -- relive the child in me. Become a little girl yet not losing my principles.
Nothing in particular why I wrote this, just wanted to pen down my thoughts.
I'm a happy girl.
But I still can't tell from my instincts yet.
I want to learn to trust my instincts. =)
---
Came back from the chinese physician and she says my body is weak. Weak gastric/stomach.
Have to refrain from cold drinks.
If all goes well, the temporary ban on heels shld be lifted by this coming Monday.
My knees are much better now.
Today is the 1st day of the Lunar 7th Month.
We prayed and did offerings at the void-deck after dad picked Mom & I up from the TCM clinic.
---
I finally understood what's the complaints with Blogger about.
I can't upload pictures now. =(
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Movie Marathon =)
The weekend was a fulfilling one, spending time with loved ones and friends!
Friday had me staying at home, having time to myself, having time to talk to mom&dad at night while MrGoh enjoyed his night out with his friends.
We met on Saturday and caught a movie -- Pixar Animation's "Up" with his friend&gf at Tampines Mall. It was a touching movie, with a dash of humor.
I would say, this is the best animated movie (with a meaningful storyline) that I've seen over the past few years.
We were at Tampines One for short while too. I wanted to shop so much! but I didn't really get the chance to. Anw, the parking at Tampines One is freaking expensive.
If my memory didn't fail me, it's about $6plus for like 3+hours... =z
Sunday was a day well-spent with the girls!
Met my sweeties at Sembawang for lunch and off we went to Orchard.
Joy and June did their manicure/pedicure while me and Ting jalan jalan around FarEast.
We parted with June after Joy was done with her nail services and off we went to Bugis.
We decided to catch a movie at Iluma and "Hangover" came to my mind but the timing was off, so we caught "The Proposal" instead. Another touching yet humourous love story.
Definitely worth the $.
Oh, and I must say the seats in the threater at Iluma are really S-P-A-C-I-O-U-S!
Not only that, seating 4th row from the screen isn't that near to the screen as well.
I heart FilmGarde cinemas, albeit they don't accept American Express.
Dinner and Home Sweet Home.
No pictures tonight cos Ting's sick, and me and Joy were both surprised that Ting didn't take pictures today.
No neoprints too cos we didn't have time.
Guess what, Ting's the biggest shopper, followed by Joy. Me, I've only got a $9 watch.
It's abit flawed BUT I like it alot. Anw, what can you expect for a $9.
Got home and realised I have too many watches and I must 'rotate' the usage of them.
Same goes to my necklaces.
I guess it's the laziness in me, I find it a hassle to change the necklace everytime.
Maybe I shld start cultivating the habit in me. Soon. =D
I'm really broke. Credit card bills, over-withdrawal of cash.
And I decided to sponsor dad in getting the portable aircon, which he promise to let me use at night *on hot days*, and he uses it in the day for his karaoke room.
Friday had me staying at home, having time to myself, having time to talk to mom&dad at night while MrGoh enjoyed his night out with his friends.
We met on Saturday and caught a movie -- Pixar Animation's "Up" with his friend&gf at Tampines Mall. It was a touching movie, with a dash of humor.
I would say, this is the best animated movie (with a meaningful storyline) that I've seen over the past few years.
We were at Tampines One for short while too. I wanted to shop so much! but I didn't really get the chance to. Anw, the parking at Tampines One is freaking expensive.
If my memory didn't fail me, it's about $6plus for like 3+hours... =z
Sunday was a day well-spent with the girls!
Met my sweeties at Sembawang for lunch and off we went to Orchard.
Joy and June did their manicure/pedicure while me and Ting jalan jalan around FarEast.
We parted with June after Joy was done with her nail services and off we went to Bugis.
We decided to catch a movie at Iluma and "Hangover" came to my mind but the timing was off, so we caught "The Proposal" instead. Another touching yet humourous love story.
Definitely worth the $.
Oh, and I must say the seats in the threater at Iluma are really S-P-A-C-I-O-U-S!
Not only that, seating 4th row from the screen isn't that near to the screen as well.
I heart FilmGarde cinemas, albeit they don't accept American Express.
Dinner and Home Sweet Home.
No pictures tonight cos Ting's sick, and me and Joy were both surprised that Ting didn't take pictures today.
No neoprints too cos we didn't have time.
Guess what, Ting's the biggest shopper, followed by Joy. Me, I've only got a $9 watch.
It's abit flawed BUT I like it alot. Anw, what can you expect for a $9.
Got home and realised I have too many watches and I must 'rotate' the usage of them.
Same goes to my necklaces.
I guess it's the laziness in me, I find it a hassle to change the necklace everytime.
Maybe I shld start cultivating the habit in me. Soon. =D
I'm really broke. Credit card bills, over-withdrawal of cash.
And I decided to sponsor dad in getting the portable aircon, which he promise to let me use at night *on hot days*, and he uses it in the day for his karaoke room.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Overdued pics
I actually intended to back out on the Chalet co-organised by xiuhui & joy.
In the end, I still went and chilled out.
Here are some pics taken that day, with courtesy from Ting.
---
National Day Long weekend.
The National Day long weekend was spent with MrGoh, going around, to chalet, housewarming party and not forgetting movie and MJ-ing.
Not much luck in MJ cos I lost a fair bit.
Next upcoming long weekend will be spent PAINTING.
Dad's intending to repaint our place!
---
Alot of planning's coming up.
We'll see how it goes after this Saturday.
=)
---
MrGoh surprised visited me, just as I was watching youtube videos with Mummy.
I'm sick (he passed his flu virus to me) and my knees ain't getting any better. =(
In the end, I still went and chilled out.
Here are some pics taken that day, with courtesy from Ting.
---
National Day Long weekend.
The National Day long weekend was spent with MrGoh, going around, to chalet, housewarming party and not forgetting movie and MJ-ing.
Not much luck in MJ cos I lost a fair bit.
Next upcoming long weekend will be spent PAINTING.
Dad's intending to repaint our place!
---
Alot of planning's coming up.
We'll see how it goes after this Saturday.
=)
---
MrGoh surprised visited me, just as I was watching youtube videos with Mummy.
I'm sick (he passed his flu virus to me) and my knees ain't getting any better. =(
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Sorry MrGoh
Sorry MrGoh,
I was curious and mischievous.
I promise to respect your privacy okie.
I'm sorry.
Don't be angry. =D
I was curious and mischievous.
I promise to respect your privacy okie.
I'm sorry.
Don't be angry. =D
Weak health.
Not only am I suffering from a bad Jogger's knee, I'm also having a blocked nose and coughing.
One side of my nose is blocked as I'm typing away.
The knee pain was rather bad last night and I sought to pasting the muscle pain relieve 膏药布. And miraculously, it worked!
I also discovered 3 bruised spots at the side of my knee and my colleague said his wife also had this problem before and advise I take the calcium tablets, which is cheaper than the glucosamine, as introduced by the doctor.
---
In a twist of matters, we're back together.
I've learnt to put down my pride.
Learnt that instead of stamping feet, wanting him to guess what I want, and getting angry over him not knowing it, I should just tell him straight in the face.
Candid and open.
Him, at the same time, will try to curb his implusiveness and temper.
Initially I was skeptical but yesterday, I see the commitment in him.
---
I like calling him MrGoh, so I'm going to address him as MrGoh in my blog from now on.
MrGoh came by my place yesterday noon and stayed all the way til night, after dinner.
We did quite alot of stuff, discussing of our future and such.
I want to go on a short trip, to 散散心。I just saw on Ting's blog, she went for a 2D1N Batam trip. Sounds good.
One side of my nose is blocked as I'm typing away.
The knee pain was rather bad last night and I sought to pasting the muscle pain relieve 膏药布. And miraculously, it worked!
I also discovered 3 bruised spots at the side of my knee and my colleague said his wife also had this problem before and advise I take the calcium tablets, which is cheaper than the glucosamine, as introduced by the doctor.
---
In a twist of matters, we're back together.
I've learnt to put down my pride.
Learnt that instead of stamping feet, wanting him to guess what I want, and getting angry over him not knowing it, I should just tell him straight in the face.
Candid and open.
Him, at the same time, will try to curb his implusiveness and temper.
Initially I was skeptical but yesterday, I see the commitment in him.
---
I like calling him MrGoh, so I'm going to address him as MrGoh in my blog from now on.
MrGoh came by my place yesterday noon and stayed all the way til night, after dinner.
We did quite alot of stuff, discussing of our future and such.
I want to go on a short trip, to 散散心。I just saw on Ting's blog, she went for a 2D1N Batam trip. Sounds good.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Jogger's knee
For those of you who tried to view my blog yesterday, you realised it's locked.
I intended to lock it for good but I've changed my mind.
Decided to blog with Wordpress at the same time.
---
Aside that, I think my health is deteriorating.
I've just seen the doctor this morning regarding my knee-cap problem.
I was given a day of MC but I continued work, still.
Walking is a chore to me now.
I'm "grounded" for the time-being. Temporary ban on heels.
I intended to lock it for good but I've changed my mind.
Decided to blog with Wordpress at the same time.
---
Aside that, I think my health is deteriorating.
I've just seen the doctor this morning regarding my knee-cap problem.
I was given a day of MC but I continued work, still.
Walking is a chore to me now.
I'm "grounded" for the time-being. Temporary ban on heels.
Monday, August 10, 2009
I am a Happy girl now.
My besties, I'm sorry I made you worried.
It's an ego, a pride problem.
I was really angry when I learnt that you girls knew about it
cos it was supposed to be a secret.
I don't wish people to know.
So it's a secret with you also.
And I'm sure it's safe with you girls.
But I'm glad that I've put them aside and
I'm a happy girl now.
Thank you! =)
It's an ego, a pride problem.
I was really angry when I learnt that you girls knew about it
cos it was supposed to be a secret.
I don't wish people to know.
So it's a secret with you also.
And I'm sure it's safe with you girls.
But I'm glad that I've put them aside and
I'm a happy girl now.
Thank you! =)
Thursday, August 06, 2009
Announcement. [Updated]
12.08.09 - Important stuff will be blogged and privatised at Wordpress or that it will be blogged but not be published in Blogger.
12.08.09 - I'll leave it as it is now, anw, I'm not logging in often.
Thanks for giving me a chance to talk.
I think I know what your answer would be.
Yes and sorry, I have to admit, I haven't let go.
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Sorry.
Sorry girls, I backed out the last minute.
I just need some time and space alone.
Morally, I've done something wrong but if I never do that, I would never know what a fool I've been for the whole of the time. =)
I just need some time and space alone.
Morally, I've done something wrong but if I never do that, I would never know what a fool I've been for the whole of the time. =)
Bad Mornings.
Recently, I have been having bad mornings.
Be it on physical or mental health.
2 mornings ago, I discovered something.
Exactly 2 mornings later, today, now, I discovered another thing.
All along I have been fooled.
Blinded by the faith, trust and love in him.
Everything starts to unfold without warning, in front of me, making my heart aching so badly.
I know I need to let go and I need time.
Be it on physical or mental health.
2 mornings ago, I discovered something.
Exactly 2 mornings later, today, now, I discovered another thing.
All along I have been fooled.
Blinded by the faith, trust and love in him.
Everything starts to unfold without warning, in front of me, making my heart aching so badly.
I know I need to let go and I need time.
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Change of Mind.
After spending the whole evening importing the posts from Blogger to Wordpress and doing a little bit of here and there on the widgets, the pages and the blogposts, I decided that I'm still not used to Wordpress interface afterall.
I'm still hoping for the day that Blogger will introduce the privacy option where bloggers can lock a specified entry, like what Wordpress offers.
I figured that I still prefer Blogger over Wordpress and will just stick to the former and consider options like locking up the entire blog or publishing less sensitive stuff.
Probably will consider the move to Wordpress some other time. =)
---
Besides the great mental stress I'm experiencing these days, I find my physical health deteriorating too.
Maybe it's due to the lack ofquality sleep, I find the old problems coming back again -- feeling nauseous and the coughing.
I look forward to weekend cos it's National Day! and it's long holies! =D
Will be attending a course for this coming Thursday and Friday.
Long journey to city/CBD area. =(
I'm still hoping for the day that Blogger will introduce the privacy option where bloggers can lock a specified entry, like what Wordpress offers.
I figured that I still prefer Blogger over Wordpress and will just stick to the former and consider options like locking up the entire blog or publishing less sensitive stuff.
Probably will consider the move to Wordpress some other time. =)
---
Besides the great mental stress I'm experiencing these days, I find my physical health deteriorating too.
Maybe it's due to the lack of
I look forward to weekend cos it's National Day! and it's long holies! =D
Will be attending a course for this coming Thursday and Friday.
Long journey to city/CBD area. =(
I'm moving soon!
I've signed up an account with Wordpress earlier and slowly, I'm loving it bit by bit.
Not only it offers the privacy option, I can also import my memories (entries and comments) there.
The only complain I have for now is that their dashboard is so complicated.
I won't be deleting this blog, however, I will probably lock it once I'm done with the import of the entries.
I'm not announcing my new blog address as yet.
I still need to touch up on the layout, it will be a simple and clean look, like the current one, maybe less widgets.
I probably won't ask my friends/family to link me in their blog anymore, so as to step up on my privacy. Yes, I value my privacy alot.
Lots of things for me to do now.
I need to set up the new blogging platform and import entries.
I need to zap my transcript and my degree certificate.
I need to go for the BBQ@Pasir Ris on Wednesday organised by Joy.
I need to settle the HDB stuff.
I need to search and send in more applications for jobs.
I need to arrange my photos into the album.
I need to print my photos.
and what else... *to be updated once anything comes into my mind.*
Not only it offers the privacy option, I can also import my memories (entries and comments) there.
The only complain I have for now is that their dashboard is so complicated.
I won't be deleting this blog, however, I will probably lock it once I'm done with the import of the entries.
I'm not announcing my new blog address as yet.
I still need to touch up on the layout, it will be a simple and clean look, like the current one, maybe less widgets.
I probably won't ask my friends/family to link me in their blog anymore, so as to step up on my privacy. Yes, I value my privacy alot.
Lots of things for me to do now.
I need to set up the new blogging platform and import entries.
I need to zap my transcript and my degree certificate.
I need to go for the BBQ@Pasir Ris on Wednesday organised by Joy.
I need to settle the HDB stuff.
I need to search and send in more applications for jobs.
I need to arrange my photos into the album.
I need to print my photos.
and what else... *to be updated once anything comes into my mind.*
naked.
I started this blog cos I need an emotional outlet for me to vent all my frustrations, share my happiness and such.
I don't really like the idea of my friends or anyone know how weak I am.
As I say this, I realised my readership is far more than expected.
I'm contemplating to move to Wordpress where I can lock my sorrows and share my happiness in the entries.
But here are the wonderful memories I don't wish to lose.
Sometimes when I read back, it reminds me of so many things, good and bad.
Soon, either I'll lock the entire blog altogether or move to Wordpress. =)
I shall explore these options when I find time.
---
This shall be the last time I write over our breakup.
I shall pick myself up all over again from then on.
To be very frank, somehow deep down inside my heart, I was hoping to make things right for a good ending.
Maybe Rachel's right, seeking closure is all bullshit.
I'm just trying to buy time for him, for myself, for us.
Be there truth or deceit in the matter I've learnt earlier this morning, it has hurt me much more than I have or anyone has expected.
For the 1st time, I must admit I am not taking things well as you people thought me to be.
I have my weaker side which I seldom share.
Maybe it's my ego.
It's like being exposed -- so naked, especially in front of loved ones and friends.
I don't like.
I know I have no rights to feel betrayed, sad or even jealous but my heart still feels so.
When I learnt of it, I just wanted a shoulder to cry over.
That's why I left work.
I couldn't imagine myself tearing in office, which I eventually still did, *fortunately* without letting anyone know.
I couldn't concentrate well on work, so I kept myself occupied by shredding papers.
I had to smile even though I was choking with tears already.
2nd half of the day away from office was spent crying, feeling betrayed, angry, upset, and perhaps a little revengeful. I think I really went bonkers for those moments.
However, surprisingly, there's no hatred for him.
Often, I was thinking maybe it would have been easier if there's something to hate him for. But no, I couldn't bring myself to hate him no matter how betrayed I felt.
Somehow, I feel/thought he's miserable too but again, what I saw tells otherwise.
Maybe it's a deceptive front of his *being an man with high egos*, still hurt is done to me.
Feeling a little composed, I came to a decision that much as it is difficult for me to let go, I shall make a clean cut.
I will need time to get over and to heal myself.
Hopefully, in near future to come, I am able to read all these entries with a lighter heart and perhaps, ridiculing myself for all I've wrote.
With that, I end everything here. 10days to the 14th.
=)
I don't really like the idea of my friends or anyone know how weak I am.
As I say this, I realised my readership is far more than expected.
I'm contemplating to move to Wordpress where I can lock my sorrows and share my happiness in the entries.
But here are the wonderful memories I don't wish to lose.
Sometimes when I read back, it reminds me of so many things, good and bad.
Soon, either I'll lock the entire blog altogether or move to Wordpress. =)
I shall explore these options when I find time.
---
This shall be the last time I write over our breakup.
I shall pick myself up all over again from then on.
To be very frank, somehow deep down inside my heart, I was hoping to make things right for a good ending.
Maybe Rachel's right, seeking closure is all bullshit.
I'm just trying to buy time for him, for myself, for us.
Be there truth or deceit in the matter I've learnt earlier this morning, it has hurt me much more than I have or anyone has expected.
For the 1st time, I must admit I am not taking things well as you people thought me to be.
I have my weaker side which I seldom share.
Maybe it's my ego.
It's like being exposed -- so naked, especially in front of loved ones and friends.
I don't like.
I know I have no rights to feel betrayed, sad or even jealous but my heart still feels so.
When I learnt of it, I just wanted a shoulder to cry over.
That's why I left work.
I couldn't imagine myself tearing in office, which I eventually still did, *fortunately* without letting anyone know.
I couldn't concentrate well on work, so I kept myself occupied by shredding papers.
I had to smile even though I was choking with tears already.
2nd half of the day away from office was spent crying, feeling betrayed, angry, upset, and perhaps a little revengeful. I think I really went bonkers for those moments.
However, surprisingly, there's no hatred for him.
Often, I was thinking maybe it would have been easier if there's something to hate him for. But no, I couldn't bring myself to hate him no matter how betrayed I felt.
Somehow, I feel/thought he's miserable too but again, what I saw tells otherwise.
Maybe it's a deceptive front of his *being an man with high egos*, still hurt is done to me.
Feeling a little composed, I came to a decision that much as it is difficult for me to let go, I shall make a clean cut.
I will need time to get over and to heal myself.
Hopefully, in near future to come, I am able to read all these entries with a lighter heart and perhaps, ridiculing myself for all I've wrote.
Boy, this is something for you.
My love for you is not any much lesser than yours for me. Trust me.
If it was, life would be so much easier for me now.
Perhaps you are using this as an excuse to do whatever you did.
I always thought your love for me will never change nor fade.
Because of your love for me, I always thought you'd stay truthful, honest and faithful as you promise.
In the case of S*****, I am able to convince myself that it's a moment of folly.
For the case of G***, I knew you gave up on me, on every faith I held on to.
I'm really disappointed and hurt.
I am sorry I preached again.
But this shall be the last time, I promise.
I will still keep in contact with you, but solely on the matter of the our senja application.
Do send back the documents soon okie. =)
With that, I end everything here. 10days to the 14th.
=)
Monday, August 03, 2009
Game Over.
I just found out he has ****** ** **** already.
I was foolish.
Boy you were so wrong to think you love me more than I do.
But it's okie now.
I won't bother you again.
I can't take it.
I decided to take a half day leave.
Sorry, I actually let this affect my work.
I didn't want it this way but I really can't stay at work.
I am sorry.
I was foolish.
Boy you were so wrong to think you love me more than I do.
But it's okie now.
I won't bother you again.
I can't take it.
I decided to take a half day leave.
Sorry, I actually let this affect my work.
I didn't want it this way but I really can't stay at work.
I am sorry.
Give up.
I was informed by Kaixian that I'll need to pay more cos the Arizona boutique does not have the bag. Her friend's trip back is delayed til November and I'll need to pay a premium for sending the bag back to Singapore earlier.
Considering the price of the bag, the miscellaneous charges, like the taxes + postage fees are not that significant. (USD378 + 8.5% tax) + USD8.5 + USD10 + >16USD.
Still/Yet, I'm having second thoughts of getting the bag.
I'll probably give it a miss.
---
I yearned to go for a movie.
I was asked to give up one or another.
I didn't reply.
I think somehow, this question gave me a little more comfort and closure to things.
I knew that was the end of it.
I am sorry for bothering you last evening and night.
sidenote; Sally, I've got your message. Thanks, really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. =)
---
Yesterday was spent slacking at home.
阿姨and姨丈came over to our place.
We had dinner together at the 313 Coffeeshop.
It was a good time catching up.
=)
Considering the price of the bag, the miscellaneous charges, like the taxes + postage fees are not that significant. (USD378 + 8.5% tax) + USD8.5 + USD10 + >16USD.
Still/Yet, I'm having second thoughts of getting the bag.
I'll probably give it a miss.
---
I yearned to go for a movie.
I was asked to give up one or another.
I didn't reply.
I think somehow, this question gave me a little more comfort and closure to things.
I knew that was the end of it.
I am sorry for bothering you last evening and night.
sidenote; Sally, I've got your message. Thanks, really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. =)
---
Yesterday was spent slacking at home.
阿姨and姨丈came over to our place.
We had dinner together at the 313 Coffeeshop.
It was a good time catching up.
=)
Saturday, August 01, 2009
Random.
The talk has once again, stirred up the feelings within me.
Apparently, the conclusion we came up to, should be a closure to everything.
However, it doesn't seem so for me.
It's really hard.
I realised I've been achieving alot more things on my own.
I finally found time to arrange the photos into the album.
I go to alot more places on my own.
Still, I think I'm lazy cos I need to go zap stuff and I haven't done it.
Tomorrow, maybe.
I heart shopping.
Ha. I spent a whopping thousand dollars at Causeway point just now.
I'm about to finish servicing one of my installment and there I am, signing on to another.
Don't think I'm splurging okay, cos the program I signed up for is useful.
I should be able to complete most of my installments by end of this year.
Not going to sign up for Amore Gym sessions for the time being though the membership is lifetime cos I haven't been fully utilising it and I'm just wasting my money away.
I reckon I would be more motivated to jog around my HDB compound.
And I probably would enroll in the German course at the end of the year/early next year.
I took up the offer of 2 cards by one of my banks.
I hope my Coach bag is on the way.
I'm broke again.
And I think I've aged, Alot!
---
I'm officially a member of Watson's.
If you need to buy something from there, let me know.
I want to accumulate points and probably things will be cheaper for you?
haha. =D
---
Sidenote; I saw Baoling and James at the 313 coffee shop when I was there to tabao my dinner.
It's been 6+/7 years since they are together liao lor...
Envious.
Apparently, the conclusion we came up to, should be a closure to everything.
However, it doesn't seem so for me.
It's really hard.
I realised I've been achieving alot more things on my own.
I finally found time to arrange the photos into the album.
I go to alot more places on my own.
Still, I think I'm lazy cos I need to go zap stuff and I haven't done it.
Tomorrow, maybe.
I heart shopping.
Ha. I spent a whopping thousand dollars at Causeway point just now.
I'm about to finish servicing one of my installment and there I am, signing on to another.
Don't think I'm splurging okay, cos the program I signed up for is useful.
I should be able to complete most of my installments by end of this year.
Not going to sign up for Amore Gym sessions for the time being though the membership is lifetime cos I haven't been fully utilising it and I'm just wasting my money away.
I reckon I would be more motivated to jog around my HDB compound.
And I probably would enroll in the German course at the end of the year/early next year.
I took up the offer of 2 cards by one of my banks.
I hope my Coach bag is on the way.
I'm broke again.
And I think I've aged, Alot!
---
I'm officially a member of Watson's.
If you need to buy something from there, let me know.
I want to accumulate points and probably things will be cheaper for you?
haha. =D
---
Sidenote; I saw Baoling and James at the 313 coffee shop when I was there to tabao my dinner.
It's been 6+/7 years since they are together liao lor...
Envious.
Confirmed.
The Singtel technician just went off and it's confirmed that it is a modem fault.
And after 2+hours of talk last night, we reached a conclusion.
And somehow, it doesn't seem like a closure for me.
Well, I'll take one step at a time.
...
Aside that, the sound coming from my laptop's HDD is getting louder and louder.
No more replacement cos the HDD which a kind donor intended to give me is spoilt too.
So I will need to buy a new laptop!!!
When is the PC show or IT fair or whatever coming?
Any recommended brand?
Should I go for Laptop or Desktop?
argh...
Big burn again.
I placed an order with kaixian's friend to buy the bag.
argh.
I need money.
I want to be rich.
I want to go holies.
NOW! I mean NOW!
I'm facing mid-life crisis, I think.
Having in mind a career switch but I can't seem to find what I want to do.
Too many things I need to buy/change. I just need $$$$$$$$$.
Lastly, ...
Goodbye.
And after 2+hours of talk last night, we reached a conclusion.
And somehow, it doesn't seem like a closure for me.
Well, I'll take one step at a time.
...
Aside that, the sound coming from my laptop's HDD is getting louder and louder.
No more replacement cos the HDD which a kind donor intended to give me is spoilt too.
So I will need to buy a new laptop!!!
When is the PC show or IT fair or whatever coming?
Any recommended brand?
Should I go for Laptop or Desktop?
argh...
Big burn again.
I placed an order with kaixian's friend to buy the bag.
argh.
I need money.
I want to be rich.
I want to go holies.
NOW! I mean NOW!
I'm facing mid-life crisis, I think.
Having in mind a career switch but I can't seem to find what I want to do.
Too many things I need to buy/change. I just need $$$$$$$$$.
Lastly, ...
Goodbye.
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