rachel just left...

woke up pretty early today.. or shall i say i went to bed early too... went to bed at 5am, leaving me simulations running... was up ard 8plus to rerun my simulations again then i went to bed, feeling very awake.
rachel was up ard 9plus...
wanted to get her sthg but her baggage already exceeded the limit.. so i decided i shld get her sthg when i go over to japan this May.. am still looking for tixs... *any kind soul can help me lOok out as well.. haha*
anw, mum came back and went out to get some tonics for her. came back really late.. we only went out for lunch ard 3plus... went to the nearby coffeeshop cos of the time limitation.
i didnt sent her off at the airport. the original plan was that i wld send her off at the airport but last min, sthg cropped up cos of an idiot *a term vel used on him*...
well, i realised i 越来越不了解他了。。。 and cos of him, i missed a chance in sending rachel off. but its okie, i told rachel i wld see her in japan.
anw, i guess its also good that i didnt go, im afraid i wld cry *i dont know why*. i cld still rem the last time she left, i was okie with it, 没有不舍得。。。 但是可能是这次她回来的时间好像一下子就过了。。。好像做了个梦，这一秒她回来了，下一秒又走了。。。而且下一次在见面又不知道知何时。。。 *though we already have plans for me to visit her in Japan this May, its seems like in infinity time to come...*
hm.. seeing her lidat, i started having second thots for wanting to go overseas to live/work.
somemore leaving here will mean i have to give up certain things in life... *haiz* i dont know, i probably wont get the chance tOo...
gave rachel a hug after lunch. walked back home while vel drove them to airport... then it started raining.. was drenched. came back and showered...
rachel's gone... one moment the room was so messy with all her stuff lying around.. the next, its empty...
我讨厌离别。。。

hApPiE cNy!

today is the 6th day of CNY. have been pretty gOod.. just tt have been slacking too much.
oh, did i mention rachel is back from japan, for a week, since last friday. hm, have been accompanying her for the past 2 days... and sadly, she will be returning tml.

shall start doing my work now cos its piling up... *argGhhHhh*... =p

feeling better...

went out to join yonghong n tayzhenyao to study at mac... though not very productive i still managed to force myself to finish that neverending 1st chapter of the 500+pages text...

felt better... hm, yah... to that very special BOYfriend of mine *i hope u know who u are* im glad u told me what u did... and we talked abt it... i always believe in sharing ur thots rather than keeping it in mind... letting the other party know rather than keeping all to urself...

this is to everyone... if u have anything in mind u wana ask/know, pls do share and talk abt it... dont keep to urself til the last min and decide u shld tell me/i shld know abt it.. cos u nv know when its toO late...

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i feel so tired... m i having second thots... but i have to emphasize.. its not because of anyone but my own assessment. rachel's views is definitely expected but sthg unexpected is that it is still encouraging... hm... i need some time to assess whats gOing on.. before my decision...

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i want to keep this blog open but there's so many tings i cant express to all the readers...? shld i just restrict my readers...? or... i dont wana start a new blog cos its very troublesome to maintain 2 different blog...

haiz....

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on a happier note, im gg to meet rachel at 1 at cwp, go buy my stuff at metro. *Girls, i have the metro 10% disc card.. always welcome to borrow from me... hehez*
then we probably return to semb, shop for a while then come home and clean our fan.. i missed out cleaning that during my spring cleaning last sat.. anw, im lazy and i dont know how to dismantle that fan lah...


sleepy... blogging off...

y is everyone doing this to me...?

today.. or rather the 16th.. is my worst hit day!
its like if nthg happens... its so quiet.. and when things happen.. its like EVERYTHING and EVERYONE coming against me!
y is life so unfair to me!?!?! yah, im the one at fault! i just want to be fair.
either ppl is not supportive or they feel its a mismatch...
next, y is everyone coming after me for 'sthg' they shld have done it LONG time ago or earlier?! yah, so what if i felt the ambiguity or i knew it.. so what!?! im a girl afterall! is that toO much to ask for?
i dont know y and what made me make the choice... now that no1 is understanding... no1 i can share my thots with!
i can still smile and laugh in front of u guys doesnt mean i feel gOod or im okie, lemme get to u straight, im not! im human being tOo, i have feelings.. stop pushing me too far! yah, u tink im being unfair to u.. but who is being fair to me.. did u ever stop to think... y must i be the one going thru all these...? u cld have prevented all these from happening... but u didnt... and now u are digging the past... telling me this and that.. then y dont u take actions or tell me earlier!

i just wish i had the courage to ... but be glad that i dont...

happie V day n Friendship Day!

its been some time since i have blogged. almost 2 weeks. Valentine's Day was yesterday. received alot of well wishes from my friends.
hm, recvd a msg on the 13th nite, from my BEST **Y FRIEND! *u know who u are... shHhh... thats our secret k*
seriously, every year when this day approaches, u always come to my mind! and that night... though i cldnt really rem ur fren's name... and how she lOoks like... haha....
with no exceptions, u came to my mind early in the morning on this year's V day! was wondering abt what u asked and said that nite... but no matter wat, never forget u are my best **y friend!

Valentine's day wasnt exactly a gOod day for me except for when i was at M.Sq playing daytona and billard. *daytona and bike racing was my fav. game when we visited the arcade in sec schoOl... the arcade at woodlands centre... i can recall the bowling alley and ting playing the bubble puzzle game...* i won the 1st game of daytona but i knew that is he let me win one...he kept saying he nv play but i doubt so.. even joseph likes to play initialD so much, he cldnt possibly not know how to play... oh yah, meet joseph again...
as for billard, though we spent quite some time playing just a game but it was fun manz... i just realised that short pple cannot play billard cos the table is so big.. gotta really stretch urself...
hm.. watched protege.. louis kOo became so ugly that i cldnt recognise him in the 1st few scenes with him... thats how drugs harm pple...

hm.. yest recvd 2 cards... hm... i guess im clear now what to do... =)

zhenzhen's bdae...

today zhenzhen my 干妹妹 is celebrating her 4th birthday.. tOok some pictures of her... hehez...

then spent some time doing a collage for her... started this post at 11plus.. but by the time i finished this and published the entry is already 2plus...

...

hm..mental note here... hafta rem to get the pics and videos from chris... went to sally's blog, realised eriol has posted a pic there... kapo-ed it from her also... hehez...



anw, just read eden's blog... i just feel like scolding... BASTARD! who the f**k do u tink u are... damn it!

another day... lOoking forward to saturday... though nidta go back schOol for EXTRA lessons... the lecturer is really 溅 lor.. eat into my weekends... =p

1st fEb... time is ticking away...

its been a lOng lOng time since i last updated my blOg..
dont know why, these days i get tired easily and is not productive at all... cld it be cos this is the last sem or... sthg else... anw, before my thots... here's an update of wat i've done for the past few days...

went shopping with ps on mon.. at farEast, quite fruitful! got a bareback shirt... i simply lOVE it! but probably will hafta wear a tube... and the dress... gOnna wear that for CNY...
with that, i probably need to buy one more set of clothes for CNY and im done with the shOpping...
will hafta go back farEast or perhaps bugis to buy jeans, denim skirts and shorts! i probably wear this bareback top i bought and match it with denim shorts... shld be gOOd, but i wonder if its tOo informal/casual for the CNY...

anw, went to celebrate chris bdae yest evening at the riverside indonesian restuarant... really njoyable! *sally too bad u miss it* and the fOod was not tOo bad! worth the money!
i really njoyed the dinner!

wasnt a gOod week for this week... i lost/misplaced the loreal card and i cldnt find it anywhere in the house, i suspect i dropped it in schOol or on mon when i went farEast... sianz...
then when i went to buy my cosmetics.. i dropped my laptop... at the riverside indonesian restuarant i dropped my mobile phone.. and to make it worst... both have visible defects on them... sianz!

before we met the rest for dinner, i had a short talk with chris, she made me realised the disparity... actually not to say she made me realise... i knew it all along... she just reminded me of it.. sthg that i didnt want to give it much thot...
things just started... i dont know whats in it for the future but im afraid to work it out... perhaps i shld just end it all here...