"We stand at the crossroads, each minute, each hour, each day, making choices. We choose the thoughts we allow ourselves to think, the passions we allow ourselves to feel, and the actions we allow ourselves to perform. Each choice is made in the context of whatever value system we've selected to govern our lives. In selecting that value system, we are, in a very real way, making the most important choice we will ever make.
"Those who believe there is one God who made all things and who governs the world by his Providence will make many choices different from those who do not. Those who hold in reverence that being who gave them life and worship Him through adoration, prayer, and thanksgiving will make many choices different from those who do not. Those who believe that mankind are all of a family and that the most acceptable service of God is doing good to man will make many choices different from those who do not. Those who believe in a future state in which all that is wrong here will be made right will make many choices different from those who do not. Those who subscribe to the morals of Jesus will make many choices different from those who do not.
"Since the foundation of all happiness is thinking rightly, and since correct action is dependent on correct opinion, we cannot be too careful in choosing the value system we allow to govern our thoughts and actions.
"And to kmnow that God governs in the affairs of men, that he hears and answers prayers, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him, is indeed, a powerful regulator of human conduct."
From Benjamin Franklin's "The Art of Virtue"
April 29, 2009
April 22, 2009
Tendrils of Apathy
I decided to post an excerpt from an e-mail I wrote to a friend to illustrate some of the things I've been inspired by this week/month/year:
I honestly believe that I was given a spiritual gift of believing. I recognize truth and seem to instantly accept it. Of course as time goes on my understanding of it increases. I consider myself blessed for that. As it says in D&C 46:11-26 "to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God." We all have different gifts--physical and spiritual--that are revealed to us throughout our life. Everything happens as it does for a reason. Your spiritual experiences are perfectly tailored for your specific needs. It's becoming more apparent to me just how important it is to do those fundamental things (read your scriptures, pray, go to church each week) to keep the tendrils of apathy from wrapping around our souls. I have been doing less and less of those basics over the past 2 years and I've been on a steady decline. If you can believe it, I haven't been to church in months! As I was searching for the scripture above, another highlighted scripture popped out at me: D&C 10:5 "Pray always, that you may come off conqueror; yea, that you may conquer Satan, and that you may escape the hands of the servants of Satan that do uphold his work." Even though I still know that the church is true, the apathy has been setting in. I need to renew my efforts and do my part to keep the shadows at bay.
I honestly believe that I was given a spiritual gift of believing. I recognize truth and seem to instantly accept it. Of course as time goes on my understanding of it increases. I consider myself blessed for that. As it says in D&C 46:11-26 "to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God." We all have different gifts--physical and spiritual--that are revealed to us throughout our life. Everything happens as it does for a reason. Your spiritual experiences are perfectly tailored for your specific needs. It's becoming more apparent to me just how important it is to do those fundamental things (read your scriptures, pray, go to church each week) to keep the tendrils of apathy from wrapping around our souls. I have been doing less and less of those basics over the past 2 years and I've been on a steady decline. If you can believe it, I haven't been to church in months! As I was searching for the scripture above, another highlighted scripture popped out at me: D&C 10:5 "Pray always, that you may come off conqueror; yea, that you may conquer Satan, and that you may escape the hands of the servants of Satan that do uphold his work." Even though I still know that the church is true, the apathy has been setting in. I need to renew my efforts and do my part to keep the shadows at bay.
April 1, 2009
March 31, 2009
Looking Back Over the Year: Lessons in Fellowship
Tonight I am looking back over the year that we've lived in Northern Utah and what I've learned. It was about this time last year that we were living in Louisiana and Brian was offered a job with Classic Helicopters in Utah. We really struggled with the decision. On one hand we were thrilled at the prospect to returning to our home state. On the other hand we had financial concerns, mainly the pay cut that we would take. After much prayer and fasting, we decided that either course would be fine. Luckily I have moved around the country enough to know that moving back to Utah doesn't mean that everything will be perfect and all our troubles will be over. However, I didn't know just how difficult this move would actually be.
We attended a small, struggling ward in Louisiana that had many opportunities for service and growth. I became fast friends with many of the families and we supported each other. It was a great experience and I am very grateful for the experiences and fabulous friends. We decided that we would move into Brian's parent's basement apartment, which they very graciously offered to us so we could focus on Brian's student loan. They attend the same ward/church congregation that I attended while growing up. While a lot of the same people are there, new faces have also appeared. Without going into detail, it has been a very difficult transition for me and my family to attend this new ward. For whatever reason, I have not been able to make friends with anyone, nor has my daughter been able to make friends. It is like we are invisible. I am grateful for the monthly visits from my Visiting Teachers, which have been my only connection with this ward.
Now here's the part that has shocked me: I've quit going to church. I have no desire at all to be there for 3 hours every week without speaking to a single person. My daughter absolutely hates going and begs each Sunday to stay home. Eventually I started thinking that sounded like a great idea.
We are taught that everyone needs to feel that he or she is an integral part of their ward. President Hinckley counseled that every new member needs “a friend, a responsibility, and nurturing with ‘the good word of God’". I have learned that this does not exclude life-long members. A "new member" may also refer to a new ward member, whether they were baptized last week or 20 years ago.
The wards and stakes of Zion are meant to be a place of protection and support. We meet together weekly to uplift and sustain each other for the coming week. We visit members in their homes on a monthly basis to bring the Spirit by word and deed and to assess the needs of the individual and family. What has surprised me is that without that feeling of unity and belonging, those tasks went from being a happy service to a burden. I never before realized just how vital that unity was to the success of the church. In speaking about new converts, President Hinckley said, "Unless there are friendly hands and welcome hearts to greet him and lead him along the way, he may drop by the side." Although we might not be new converts, we all are converts. I have found that I have dropped "by the side" and have the new perspective of looking from the outside-in.
Let me add that I do not write this to criticize the ward members. I write this to solidify the lesson I have just realized that I have learned from this ward. It has become very clear just how important it is to fellowship every member of the ward, to make them feel accepted and needed. Even though it's 1:00 am and my thoughts are becoming less tangible by the second, I needed to put down this revelation so I won't forget. I need to apply this experience in every ward I ever attend. My mind is officially numb, and I'm going to bed....maybe I'll rewrite this so it says what I really want it to say.
We attended a small, struggling ward in Louisiana that had many opportunities for service and growth. I became fast friends with many of the families and we supported each other. It was a great experience and I am very grateful for the experiences and fabulous friends. We decided that we would move into Brian's parent's basement apartment, which they very graciously offered to us so we could focus on Brian's student loan. They attend the same ward/church congregation that I attended while growing up. While a lot of the same people are there, new faces have also appeared. Without going into detail, it has been a very difficult transition for me and my family to attend this new ward. For whatever reason, I have not been able to make friends with anyone, nor has my daughter been able to make friends. It is like we are invisible. I am grateful for the monthly visits from my Visiting Teachers, which have been my only connection with this ward.
Now here's the part that has shocked me: I've quit going to church. I have no desire at all to be there for 3 hours every week without speaking to a single person. My daughter absolutely hates going and begs each Sunday to stay home. Eventually I started thinking that sounded like a great idea.
We are taught that everyone needs to feel that he or she is an integral part of their ward. President Hinckley counseled that every new member needs “a friend, a responsibility, and nurturing with ‘the good word of God’". I have learned that this does not exclude life-long members. A "new member" may also refer to a new ward member, whether they were baptized last week or 20 years ago.
The wards and stakes of Zion are meant to be a place of protection and support. We meet together weekly to uplift and sustain each other for the coming week. We visit members in their homes on a monthly basis to bring the Spirit by word and deed and to assess the needs of the individual and family. What has surprised me is that without that feeling of unity and belonging, those tasks went from being a happy service to a burden. I never before realized just how vital that unity was to the success of the church. In speaking about new converts, President Hinckley said, "Unless there are friendly hands and welcome hearts to greet him and lead him along the way, he may drop by the side." Although we might not be new converts, we all are converts. I have found that I have dropped "by the side" and have the new perspective of looking from the outside-in.
Let me add that I do not write this to criticize the ward members. I write this to solidify the lesson I have just realized that I have learned from this ward. It has become very clear just how important it is to fellowship every member of the ward, to make them feel accepted and needed. Even though it's 1:00 am and my thoughts are becoming less tangible by the second, I needed to put down this revelation so I won't forget. I need to apply this experience in every ward I ever attend. My mind is officially numb, and I'm going to bed....maybe I'll rewrite this so it says what I really want it to say.
March 8, 2009
The Rice Experiment
See my family blog for amazing pictures of my rice experiment! http://ourjoyinthejourney.blogspot.com
February 23, 2009
Heaven Smiling Down
As some of you know, I have been on both an emotional rollercoaster and bouncing yo-yo as I have struggled with the idea of having another child. I have paralyzing self-doubts as well as the tendancy to over-analyze everything. In October my husband and I collectively decided to stop using birth control. That lasted a couple of weeks, and I had to revert back to my baby-free comfort zone. This was also about the time that I started working again.
In January I felt a heightened urgency to quit my job to be home with Kylie, a feeling that had been building from day one. She is in kindergarten in the mornings and was being picked up by daycare, which she really didn't like. My mantra of "Just dig in and do what needs to be done" was waning. My body and soul was in a state of dis-ease. The intensity increased week by week. I finally took the leap of faith to announce to my employer that I would not be working there much longer and they needed to find a replacement. An instant feeling of relief came over me and a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I still have moments where I think I must be insane giving up a job when so many people are struggling to find one or hold on to the one they have. My part-time income made it possible to double and sometimes triple our monthly student loan payment.
Fast forward a couple weeks and I am training my replacement at work. I run into the office after I drop Kylie off at school, then leave in time to pick her up from school, and I'm done for the day. On our way home today I got a call from my husband saying that he had good and bad news. The bad news was that it cost $75 to change the oil in his car (after Jiffy Lube tacked on all sorts of random things). The good news was he just got a call from his boss who had a lot of positive things to say about his work. His boss was happy to announce that he was giving Brian a raise--$5,000 a year!--which would be applied retroactively. My first thought was that this sort of raise is unheard of during these times and we are truly blessed. My next thought was more like a statement made to my heart: Heavenly Father is happy with my decision to stay home to care for my family, and He is providing an opportunity for Brian to make up the extra money so that we can continue with our financial plans (which He apparently also approves of).
I also wonder if He is also happy that I've decided to be brave and stop the birth control again. I am painfully aware of my inadequacies and plead that He will make up for what I lack. Today I felt Heaven smiling down. Here's to what the future may hold.
In January I felt a heightened urgency to quit my job to be home with Kylie, a feeling that had been building from day one. She is in kindergarten in the mornings and was being picked up by daycare, which she really didn't like. My mantra of "Just dig in and do what needs to be done" was waning. My body and soul was in a state of dis-ease. The intensity increased week by week. I finally took the leap of faith to announce to my employer that I would not be working there much longer and they needed to find a replacement. An instant feeling of relief came over me and a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I still have moments where I think I must be insane giving up a job when so many people are struggling to find one or hold on to the one they have. My part-time income made it possible to double and sometimes triple our monthly student loan payment.
Fast forward a couple weeks and I am training my replacement at work. I run into the office after I drop Kylie off at school, then leave in time to pick her up from school, and I'm done for the day. On our way home today I got a call from my husband saying that he had good and bad news. The bad news was that it cost $75 to change the oil in his car (after Jiffy Lube tacked on all sorts of random things). The good news was he just got a call from his boss who had a lot of positive things to say about his work. His boss was happy to announce that he was giving Brian a raise--$5,000 a year!--which would be applied retroactively. My first thought was that this sort of raise is unheard of during these times and we are truly blessed. My next thought was more like a statement made to my heart: Heavenly Father is happy with my decision to stay home to care for my family, and He is providing an opportunity for Brian to make up the extra money so that we can continue with our financial plans (which He apparently also approves of).
I also wonder if He is also happy that I've decided to be brave and stop the birth control again. I am painfully aware of my inadequacies and plead that He will make up for what I lack. Today I felt Heaven smiling down. Here's to what the future may hold.
February 19, 2009
10 Ways to Become a Joyful Mother
1. Put first things first. There are many things that seem important that may be taking huge amounts of time from the relationship you have with your husband and children.
2. Don't always be logical. Often logic just doesn't work when planning and dealing with a family. If we had waited for a logical time to have a baby, when there was plenty of money, an extra room, and no outside demands, life wouldn't be nearly as exciting and fulfilling as it is today.
3. Progressively nurture unconditional love. Unconditional love sounds so easy. But keeping that thought foremost in your mind when children don't follow the rules, become involved in drugs or alcohol, date someone you don't like, etc. is one of life's greatest challenges. Husbands even have their moments when you find yourself not loving some of the things they do or say. Bemoaning strange habits, bad judgment, and immaturity can obscure the unconditional love that you need to feel if you don't constantly remind yourself of its importance.
4. Laugh sooner rather than later. The fewer hours spent in misery because of a daily crisis or disaster, the better. Dece in advance, that when (not if) the next disaster happens, you're going to laugh...as soon as possible. The sooner you learn to laugh instead of cry, the happier your life will seem.
5. Have a formula for dealing with guilt. One thing that is a given in motherhood is guilt. The best solution for dealing with guilt is to tell your husband and children that you're sorry for mistakes you may have made. Advise them not to make the same mistakes. Remind yourself that there is still time to change. The process of change (sometimes known as repentance) is still a living, working principle--no matter where we are in the process of mothering.
6. Put your husband first. Having a great relationship with your husband is the most important thing you can give your children.
7. Educate yourself. One of the things that can keep your life exciting is to continue to educate yourself, even in the throes of motherhood. Make time for an art class, a parenting class, a book club, an exercise class, or a cooking class.
8. Get help! If you're overwhelmed physically, emotionally, or spiritually, think of some ways to get help. We sometimes think we are a failure if we can't handle our own lives ourselves. Remember that your time is much better spent on the things that really matter.
9. Have a passion for something and remember your dreams. Think about what you love. Remember what you have a passion for and, though there are years when that passion will be off in the distance, don't lost sight of it. If you share your dreams with your husband and children, they'll be much more likely to help you fulfill your dreams, even as you are helping them with theirs.
10. Have faith. Develop what is sometimes called "confident humility". This is knowing that without the help of a loving God in your everyday life as a mother, there is very little that you can do successfully. At the same time, know that with his help, there is really nothing that you can't do. It's a great mind-set to have on those days when you feel defeated and it seems impossible to go on.
~Linda Eyre, A Joyful Mother of Children
2. Don't always be logical. Often logic just doesn't work when planning and dealing with a family. If we had waited for a logical time to have a baby, when there was plenty of money, an extra room, and no outside demands, life wouldn't be nearly as exciting and fulfilling as it is today.
3. Progressively nurture unconditional love. Unconditional love sounds so easy. But keeping that thought foremost in your mind when children don't follow the rules, become involved in drugs or alcohol, date someone you don't like, etc. is one of life's greatest challenges. Husbands even have their moments when you find yourself not loving some of the things they do or say. Bemoaning strange habits, bad judgment, and immaturity can obscure the unconditional love that you need to feel if you don't constantly remind yourself of its importance.
4. Laugh sooner rather than later. The fewer hours spent in misery because of a daily crisis or disaster, the better. Dece in advance, that when (not if) the next disaster happens, you're going to laugh...as soon as possible. The sooner you learn to laugh instead of cry, the happier your life will seem.
5. Have a formula for dealing with guilt. One thing that is a given in motherhood is guilt. The best solution for dealing with guilt is to tell your husband and children that you're sorry for mistakes you may have made. Advise them not to make the same mistakes. Remind yourself that there is still time to change. The process of change (sometimes known as repentance) is still a living, working principle--no matter where we are in the process of mothering.
6. Put your husband first. Having a great relationship with your husband is the most important thing you can give your children.
7. Educate yourself. One of the things that can keep your life exciting is to continue to educate yourself, even in the throes of motherhood. Make time for an art class, a parenting class, a book club, an exercise class, or a cooking class.
8. Get help! If you're overwhelmed physically, emotionally, or spiritually, think of some ways to get help. We sometimes think we are a failure if we can't handle our own lives ourselves. Remember that your time is much better spent on the things that really matter.
9. Have a passion for something and remember your dreams. Think about what you love. Remember what you have a passion for and, though there are years when that passion will be off in the distance, don't lost sight of it. If you share your dreams with your husband and children, they'll be much more likely to help you fulfill your dreams, even as you are helping them with theirs.
10. Have faith. Develop what is sometimes called "confident humility". This is knowing that without the help of a loving God in your everyday life as a mother, there is very little that you can do successfully. At the same time, know that with his help, there is really nothing that you can't do. It's a great mind-set to have on those days when you feel defeated and it seems impossible to go on.
~Linda Eyre, A Joyful Mother of Children
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
