Tuesday, May 15, 2012
According to plan?
"You don't miss my presence, you only realise my absence."
- Still teaching (is that what they call it?) GP in JJ, and enjoying most of it :)
- Panicking every time I receive a new-email notification, hoping desperately it's from SMU/NUS Law telling me they were testing my patience and that I passed the test (A girl can dream...)
- I got into NUS Pharmacy, and I had to give myself a pat on the back (partially because I thought I'd fail my A Levels and would have to sign on with the army... Huge sigh of relief there!)
- Telling myself everyday that I'll go to the gym or call up the swimming centre to enrol myself in swim classes
- Waiting rather impatiently for my driving test (2nd July) and grumbling about the unfair policy the driving centre has.
- Chewing reasonably well with my metal mouth and enjoying the braces experience.
- Having a harmless almost-mutual crush on a wonderful guy (teehee :x)
- Excited for the SMU Hammers this weekend. For those who don't know (how dare you), it's a debate competition. Typical me :$
- Counting down my days to the Europe trip! ^^
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Oh, the dilemma.
If only people were upfront about their feelings. The world would be so much simpler (and less fun, no doubt)
So, anyway, I give up. Yep, I completely give up.
I can never win.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
The end of the wait.
Everything is happening so quickly.
I wish time could slow down (yes, I do) so that I can enjoy every bit of this phase in my life slowly. :')
*takes a deep breath*
Okay, time to update the bots and trolls about my life.
- My 'A' Level Results. I couldn't be happier. Still at a loss for words. :'D
- Driving... This month's gonna be pretty important, considering the numerous practical sessions I have. Also, I need to pass my Final Theory Test. It's amazing to be in control of the car, and my instructors said I'm a natural for manual cars. I'm only at the beginning and I love it already! :')
- I'm gonna be a brace-face this Sunday. So long to my gappy smile, hello metalmouth. :p
- I'm blessed to have amazing friends by my side. A shoutout to all who have been keeping in touch with me. <3
Friday, February 24, 2012
Gaiety. :}
"Sometimes, I can't believe how lucky I am. Can you?"
I miss all of them. Next Friday, I hope they're there for me if I breakdown.
You make me smile.
You make me feel special.
You make the butterflies in my tummy flutter about and tickle.
<3
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
The right track.
Dear bots and secret stalkers,
My life isn't perfect. I still feel hell stressed about the fate of my results. I do have bad days in the classroom when the students are too exhausted to listen attentively (I feel Ms Yip's pain now). I still feel like there's a little intentional exclusion lurking about in my life. Some people aren't replying any of my texts, others don't seem to really welcome me. And you know there's gonna be a "but" after that huge chunk of depression. ;)
BUT I am enjoying my days, a lot. I get to see my school everyday and re-live S1 memories (even if S1 forgets about me sometimes).
BUT I have made incredible friends and I still have a few amazing friends. <3 them! :')
BUT I know no matter how screwed up my results turn out to be, I can count on a few people to lend a shoulder to cry on. Those who won't vanish after realizing I'm not gonna become some generous millionaire in the near future.
BUT I will still be the bigger person and not forget my social gracefulness even if others seem to have forgotten theirs.
My life is imperfectly perfect, and I love the journey and the people currently included in it. :)
Monday, January 2, 2012
2012; the beginning of the end.
Welcome to 2012, everybody!
A new year comes with new beginnings, reinvention, optimism and a lot of positivity. Can't you feel it? (If you can, cool story bro)
Soooo... Obviously people are gonna start with the whole New Year's resolutions drama. Hey, that shit is legit. Sure, it's irrational and the resolutions usually aren't kept to, but it's all about symbolism! You don't start a year with the darkest thoughts!
I know you don't really care my resolutions are, but I'm gonna tell you anyway (because I'm cool like that).
1. To grow into a better person. This is probably extremely vague, but there's no better way to phrase it. The happenings of 2011 have made me realize that the only actual growth a person can acquire is when he/she lives through different experiences. I have 366 days of experiences with 2012, I should grow to make myself proud (and hopefully a little taller hehe).
2. To drive on the roads of Singapore (and Aussie, hopefully) by the end of this year. Already enrolled in the driving school, already over with the Basic Theory lessons, still a fair lot to go though. Let's hope learning how to operate a manual vehicle isn't that complex. :$
3. To become a better debater. Call me nerdy, but I am very adamant about this. I'm gonna go for Open Tournaments until my seat in Uni is finalized. Wow *goosebumps*
4. To be braver, more daring. I know I sound like I have balls of steel at times (that's because I do, duhhh). I have fears of my own, mostly commitment-associated. I want to start cherishing those who become close to me, and not run away from them like I used to.
5. To learn to vent my anger and frustrations in a healthier way. I haven't exactly handled stressful situations in a pretty way in the past. I don't want to repeat that. Nevertheless, I assure you I don't have a short-temper, just a less preferable method of showcasing my disagreement.
6. To guide my brother and make sure he's on the right track. I love my lil bro, and I want only the best outcomes for him this year. He's had a rough 2011. <3
7. To put in more effort to maintain the friendships I treasure a lot. Guilty as charged, for the past 18 years, I haven't been putting in conscious, continuous effort. It's draining, but the gems are worth it, right? This applies especially for the boys who are going to cruelly leave me for NS. I will become an annoying stalker if I have to!
8. To live a healthy lifestyle. This is basically the rule of life already, but no harm reinforcing it. I'm gonna try something COMPLETELY foreign... Wait for it... It's coming... Drumroll please... Vegetables. Till now, only the green leaves tempt me. 2012 will change that, bitches! (I can hear the broccolis cry already)
9. To become more spiritually connected. No, I'm not talking Ghost-Whisperer action. Neither am I going to become a crackhead who says "chakra" in every ten words. Just a Sikh girl who respects and loves her religion.
10. You guys know you were waiting for this! It has appeared in the all the resolution-lists I'd made in the past 5 years! I'm gonna learn to swim like a fish by the end of 2012. Mark my words! No longer am I gonna look like _______\o/________ when I try to swim, hehehe. :p
Welcome to 2012, you! :)
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
That magical day.
Yay, 'tis the season to be jolly! I LOVE CHRISTMAS! Fabulous day, fantastic spirit and so much joy!
Monday, December 5, 2011
My short rant on Singaporean Proms.
We all have that perfect prom planned in our minds. (At least most girls do, stop lying to yourself!)
This is regardless of how girly or tomboyish you are. C'mon! We've seen it plenty of times on TV and in movies. Even the dorkiest-looking kid secretly hopes that the hottest guy would ask her for a dance. Or better yet, to be his prom date! We've seen it happen a million times, will somebody give me a break before I sue one of them movie directors?
Prom is supposed to be a girl's special night. Almost comparable to her wedding (pfft, as if) in fact! Every girl will look gorgeous on prom. The nerds will suddenly ninja-surprise the rest with the good looks they've been hiding so cleverly for quite a while. And for some reason, the prom queen and king will turn out to be the least expected people (usually the nerdiest/least popular). Sounds pretty fancy to me, innit?
Well, if that was a distorted portrayal of Prom, proms in Singapore would be the absolutely shattered picture. I won't complaintalk about other schools, for all I know, they may be having a genuine blast. Let's use my dearest school as an example instead.
Soooo... If you haven't already heard, our theme is K-pop. I'm surprised we didn't make it to Stomp. What's wrong with K-pop when half of Singapore is obsessed with it, right?
Wrong. Because the other half aren't a neutral bunch. We hate them nasty tunes. Okay, not exactly hate, but the fans can get too... Fanatic-ish-y?
Whatever, to each his own. BUT IT'S STILL SO DUMB TO USE IT AS A THEME
The second point I want to bring across is that we are all secretly cowards with no initiative. I hear people go like, "Oh, they didn't say you HAVE to bring a date." all the time. Fine, maybe dates for proms is a rare, rare phenomenon that only occurs in North America and England. I can believe that. (Actually, I can't)
But if you're using that as grounds to justify why you don't want to ask that special person to be your date (when you in fact have gay little dreams about that moment everyday), then you're just another coward. Don't worry, we all are. (Though I'm only one deep, deep, deep inside)
I have to make my stand clear though. It's not like you're gonna marry the girl you ask for prom (if you do though, good on ya). You may never even see her again. But you will see other ladies. Maybe not in school, but in a restaurant, or train, or toilet (if you're into that). You get my point! So why can't I claim that if you couldn't gather enough guts to ask a girl for prom, you'd never ask another girl (who's prolly gonna be a total stranger) for her name or number?
This is rather interesting though. The dudes I so dearly love (I'd seriously laugh out loud if YM reads this) gave very interesting answers. Some say that prom's lame, and it's not the same situation when you're asking a random stranger. Others say that asking a random stranger would probably lead you nowhere.
Are we to assume that we should only fall for people we KNOW properly? I mean, it does sound compelling. But is that what's supposed to happen? Let's assume a hypothetical situation in which I am really close to 3 guys. (Okay, this is almost true in reality) Let's say I complete university education and got a job at a firm with only one working male. That makes my social circuit of guys effectively numerically 4. If I don't take a chance to talk to guys out of my office, I will be left with four options for marriage *gasps* (technically, I'd have 3 options because Fauzi would rather commit suicide than marry me, double *gasps*)
Okay; in reality, there will be more than 4. But the point is, there will be a limit. You're never gonna meet someone out of your zone of comfort, and that's not necessarily healthy. Boo yeah. And we Asians always wonder why our marriages, though more stable than our Western counterparts', lack the spice they enjoy. Well, the truth is...
It all began with prom. And ended with prom.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Him and her.
She stared at the shadowed figure in front of her. She couldn't see clearly, but the strong musk of his cologne was distinctively masculine. Was he on her side?
She contemplated vocalizing her thoughts. Just when she was about to open her mouth, she saw it. It gleamed against the light illuminated by the full moon. Cold, shiny and extremely sharp, hiding sneakily behind his coat, waiting patiently to devour her.
No, she thought to herself, not again. She took off, her feet lightly bouncing off the ground as she ran away from him.
Now, she feels that all her actions will lead to nothing other than mere complications.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Punjabi girl in the house, yo. ;)
That was from baby brat's birthday party. She reminds me so much of how I was when I was younger. Look! It's her birthday and her outfit does not match the occasion. She's a rebel, like me when I was younger. ;)
I guess one advantage of being the oldest kid from my dad's side (as can be seen in the first photo), is that I get to watch each brat grow. I see resemblance, and I understand the generation gap. I mean, my kid sister uses Facebook all the time and she has her own cellphone. At her age, my mum made my first email account for me. I feel old. :/
In the second picture, you see all (or most) of the women from my dad's side. I'm actually considered a woman now, though it takes some getting used to. Some of my chachi's (aunts) can't speak English properly, and I converse in Punjabi punctuated with grammatical errors, it gets hard sometimes. I'd be asking them where my Grandma was and they'd reply with something totally off, like in the fridge (true story!). They correct my grammar all the time, and they seem to be having fun with it. Hahaha. :3
I'm so damn proud to be Sikh and be Punjabi. I love the food, the weddings and festivities, the dances etc. Maybe I can't speak the language fluently, but I'm doing everything I can to fit in, even if awkwardly so.
We hear people complain all the time. How they try to run away from their culture because they don't want to be associated to certain stereotypes. It's the opposite for me.
Haha but of course, says the girl who was called "not Punjabi enough" and "not Indian enough". Heck yeah, I'm Singaporean bitches. It's weird how only in Singapore, being Indian specifically refers to being South Indian/Tamil. My race on my IC isn't "Indian". But...
I'm just a weird hybrid. Singaporean Punjabi-Gujarati Indian Sikh. ;)
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
The haze at the end.
I wonder how the end will turn out. The thought can kill. They are the best, I'll miss them so much. :(
Let's hope all good things don't in fact come to an end.
Monday, November 21, 2011
The glimpse of hope.
Friday, November 18, 2011
The stress of perfection.
Since I was young, I've been giving my parents result slips with nothing less than A's. For my PSLE, I had all A's and an A* in Math. For my O levels, I was almost valedictorian. 8 distinctions, 5 A1s and 3A2s. Results that would make any parent proud. These results were like a progress report card for my parents, showing them that they were raising their daughter the right way. Don't get the wrong idea, my parents don't pressure me for good grades. I feel like I owe it to them.
But my streak ends here. For my Hindi A Levels, I got a C. My first C ever in all national exams I've taken. I still remember that blasted MT paper day, I regret not putting in effort as much as I wanted to. I also realize that the C is going to taint my results. There is no way to offer my parents perfection. It's not easy, living up to high expectations. I'm an A*STAR scholar, so I should do well in my Math, Bio and Chemistry. I am the president of te debate club, so I have to do well in GP and Economics. I came into JJC with the lowest aggregate, so I have to come out with the best URP.
Well guess what, it ends here. Parveen Kaur has peaked, and now she is on her decline. She won't live up to those expectations, only live up to her own. Wait and watch, world...
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Slutty 'ol me? ;)
People may have the impression that I'm flirtatious because I hang out with guys mostly. If you tell any of the guys this though, they'll laugh literally. Because I behave like one of them, I don't hit on them (at leat not intentionally, I can't help it if YM texts me "I love you", hehe I must say it back!)
Conversations with them are as uncensored as they possibly can be, no guy would ever find unglam me as flirtatious. So, if hanging out with the friends I truly treasure makes me flirtatious just because they are guys, you can confront my not-so-apologetic face.
As for slut and whore, seriously? I mean like, seriously? The furthest I've gone with any guy was probably holding hands, pfft. Never been kissed, unless you count Laslo, our Hungarian driver in the Europe trip who kissed me on my cheek. :p
So yeah, keep calling me that and you'll become the douchebag who cried wolf. Parveen Kaur is not a slut, deal with it or you deserve to drown in a cup water. :)
Ugly. That's just society's problem. Low tolerance for anything that deviates from the norm, i.e. low tolerance for the socially-determined perfection. I used to be really bothered about my looks. Trust me, I've lived through 7 years of hideously mean comments. There was a period when I didn't even want to go to school because there was this asshole in my class who used to tease me a hell lot. Then I realised I have it way better than many others. I mean, there are girls who may be hot as hell. So?
Besides, I love my features even if my complexion may not be the best. I'm a freaking punju-gujju mix! (For those who don't understand that, it means my dad's Punjabi and my mum's Gujarati)
I've got my dad's awesome eyes with long lashes that I'm happy with. I've got an intermediate nose, which I find pretty darn cool. My face shape is so awesome I can pull off almost any haircut, I've got good height for a girl, my body's built is wicked for many sports, my hair is naturally brown! I look exotic, according to most of my White and Singaporean friends. You can't tell my race at a glance. Hell yeah, I'm contented with that. Haha, I just realised it sounds like I'm bragging. So be it, that's who I see when I look in the mirror.
I do take care of my skin, but it's not my fault if I'm so smart and I work so hard it shows on my face. After my A's, I assure you the same face will be almost clear. So I'm truly over my whole "I-am-ugly" ordeal. If you're gonna assess me by the way I look, you'd just be another frog-in-the-well in society.
Wow, didn't mean for this post to turn into a rant. In conclusion, I'm satisfied with the way I am. I am a good friend, and I've got a quirky personality (words of Fauzi) that many like. I doubt this dude is ever gonna stop trying to flame me, he's like a secret admirer. Whatever, he's entertainment to me now haha, so amusing how foolish he's willing to make himself look :p
Right, right, right, left.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Pussy cat.
Hahaha. Some people are just dumb and can't understand sarcasm. A perfect example is this idiot who won't stop trying to insult me on my tagboard. Dude, I know you probably have a hugeass crush on me because you're practically stalking me, but I don't fall for brainless pussies. Awww sorry :(
So... I don't know why people like him even exist. He obviously loves reading my blog, and mocking me. It's a shame though, this dude probably has a mother and he still doesn't know how to talk to a girl. And he bothers to keep himself updated on what's happening in my life, even the stuff I don't blog about. Well babe, if you're trying to harm my A Level grades, cool story bro. Never gonna happen. Oh, but karma's a nasty bitch. And I heard she hasn't gotten her rabies shot. ;)
PS: Just a piece of advice, you should invest in fertilizer, whoever you are. Because your pair is obviously not growing, nameless coward. ;)
Anyway, I love Mdm Lim! I had my first official H2 consultation with a teacher in my entire 2 years of JC. Wow, she was so nice! I'm definitely gonna do my best in Math and make her proud. She's so nice and helpful! :')
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Censor yourself.
I'm so pissed. So very angry and disappointed. Sometimes, it's not fun to know secrets, and keep quiet about them. I'm gonna distract myself with vectors and complex numbers, but it's almost sickening. :/
Next time, don't tell me stuff like that. Censor yourself instead of burdening me with the guilt of knowledge. Grrrr! ;(
Friday, October 21, 2011
The hardest goodbyes.
Rawr! I spent this whole week studying with Fauzi and Faisal, and IT WAS HELL FUN!
I know it sounds weird to have fun when you're studying, but those two dudes are just awesome! We spent everyday a little differently. I just know I laughed a lot, and they're great! (Even when Fauzi's emotionally attached to me hahaha!)
Let's see what I did this week with them...
Crashed some BBQ party to get food, lepak-ed and sang while Muffins played the guitar, played frisbee in the dark, walked on the stone pathway in complete darkness, bought the Magnum Minis from SPC to eat, ate in McDonald's twice just for the promotion labels, let Muffins smoke his way through answers he couldn't get, changed the names of contacts on our phones (HAHAHAHA CEDRIC IS STILL "BREAST" ON MY PHONE) etc.
I'm getting a little emo now. Not slash-hands and fringe-covering-eyes kinda emo though. I'll miss 10S01. I really will. Two years is too short. And I'll hate it when the dudes go for NS. Sigh... Things will never be the same as they are now. They will change, for the better or worse, but they won't stay the same. Ah well, that adds spice to our otherwise monotonous lives, eh?
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Craughter; Crying laughter.
I know it's weird for me to say this when it's intense mugzone now, but I'm so extremely happy. People can judge me under whatever light they want to, it doesn't change that fact. I love laughing, even if I look dumb because I cry when I laugh. I'm sooooo happy it's gay. And I'll do anything to let this moment stay within me forever. :D
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
El prego.
I'm pregnant. I've been el prego for two years now. I'm finally in labour. I have to push now, keep pushing so that my baby will turn out healthy and happy. I've been eating good food for two years, I've been taking care of my belly especially! It would be awful if after all that, I can't give that last push.
Just keep pushing on.
For you brainiacs who've started judging me because of my pregnancy, please tell me you understand the term "metaphorically speaking". Or else, why are you even reading this blog?
Btw, Ms Yip is pregnant for real! Omg I'm so happy for her, it must be such a wonderful feeling. She's got this amazing glow on her face and she just looks gorgeous! Sooo happy for her! ^^
