"The only reason why I'll want to work hard is because of you."

Its amazing how words from the perfect person changes your mood, brightens your day and add joy to every little thing you do. And its through important decisions that you realise the added importance of cherishing.

Believe it or not, this hour of pondering, struggling with personal obligations, doubts and thoughts about going for OIAP actually opened my mind up. It wasn't easy to think about the pros and cons of working locally VS that in China, but it was even tougher to imagine leaving home for 6months.

It's true that we are the only ones who hold the key to our own success, but we are also the ones doing the thinkthrough, evaluation and decision-making. So ultimately, we are the ones who'll voice the final decision. Since the past, I haven't been favouring overseas attachments cus here's a undeniable fact which you've got to accept: I am a very dependent person, and I really do not think that surviving internationally alone for such a long period will work. Lets talk abt the ties later- how am I gonna adapt to the oh so different environment, the pollution, quality of food, sanitation etc.?

I know that its naive/dumb to consider abt such stuffs since we'll eventually have to study/work overseas in future, but I simply cant part with my parents, friends and dearest bf for half.a.year. I can just die haha thankyou seeyou again. (whatever)

The future prospects of being attached to international companies are definitely better in the sense that you gain more exposure, experience and self-development but.. there are still many concerns which have to be addressed.

And baby, its natural that you are my top factor of consideration when you talk abt such matters.. It's built-in already.. Hehe. I don't deem this as silly because ultimately, I cherish each and every moment we have together and I seriously cant live without you. After all, we'll take care of each other and spend the rest of our lives tog, isn't it? So it doesn't really matter if I get super good exposure or not. If local attachments are enough to bring me a certain level of position in future, I'll be agreeable and satisfied with that.


Oh baby.. I love the way you look me in the eyes and tell me how much I mean to you. (:
I LOVE YOU.

♥yours truly. 11:47 PM

I'm proud to announce that I have fab groupmates for biz. etiquette! Lynette, Xuan, and Celine- love! HAHA (: Just the other day in class, we had tons of fun and laughter preparing for the 15% assignment which was yet another role play. Initially thought that an hour was too long a time to prepare for the role play but it turned out that we had insufficient time cus we took longer than expected to brainstom ideas. But anyw, even though the actual execution wasn't done very smoothly, we had fun and we tried our best. Tehee :D

I'm so looking forward to the image and make up session this coming Thurs! :)

School work's starting to pile up with all the mini assignments and projects, but I'm sure that at the very expense of hardwork and perseverance, nothing is impossible. However, some leisure time is still mandatory in order to unwind after a hard day of work. After all, we're human beings so yeah, give us a break man! :)

Had a great time with the girls + Ryan Rich last night as Mich, Sojini and I shopped around Vivo after school to get Teacher Sharon's gift, after which we headed to Clarke Quay to join the rest for dinner. And after so long, we finally had our meeting and a no. of stuffs were discussed. In the midst of it, there was this mentally-unstable guy who seemed crazy/drunk/idontknowhowtosay who walked past us by the river and shouted senseless stuffs such as English not being an important language, Lee Kuan Yew duno what and etc. Afterwards, bf was like, ehh how come we always encounter such peeps?

The sweetie pie was sweet enough to wait for me after hanging out with his friends. Can you be less silly? (: Hehehe. But anyw, I really really appreciate your effort and time all these while. Thanks a billion dear! Love you tons and tons ((:

Alright I'm off! :) Gonna catch HSM 3 with baby and spend the rest of the day tog. Mind you, the morning was allocated to tutorials but thank god they were still manageable.. Cheers :))

♥yours truly. 3:52 PM

It felt great to dance again; after months of improper dancing, we finally danced together last night in an attempt to recap both routines and... I'm proud to say that things weren't as bad as expected. At least 95% of both Cha and Rumba cld be recapped so lets hope that we'll continue to build up our skills & techniques once again, yes?

Also, all of us finally managed to execute the bum spin properly after weeks of practice. I guess those countless bruises and blue-blacks are worth it after all! (: So we're now down to continuous prac to make our Samba make synchronized. Way to go ppl! (:

On a sadder note, here's smthg to complain bcus I can't stand it: i.still.cant.grasp.the.concepts.of.the.freaking.tlaw.all.thanks.to.my.slowpoke.brain.

It's so frustrating to find yrself struggling to catch up but at the same time, the mind just won't make wonders happen. I've got to tackle this darn module asap, no joke. Bless me okay!

And and and.. Aud, Rach, Ley and myself made our way down to the Supreme Court after school today to take a look at the Singapore Biennale 2oo8 Artworks since we had an assignment to complete for SPM. Some of the artworks were interesting but we failed to appreciate the beauty of ART though. Took tons of pics but I shan't upload them since they're meant for academic purposes.

Towned to look for Baby after that and the night was again well spent. Even though activities weren't much, like I always said, it's the time spent together which matters and its the quality which counts. I simply enjoy each and every second spent with you, my silly boy! (: Thanks for yr concern and care this morning and I really really appreciate it. Love you tons and tons and we'll meet tmr! :DD

♥yours truly. 10:52 PM

And so time flies- Week one of school is over and we were occupied with the need to adapt to the new modules, SPM Project execution, tutorial completion, spending time with dearest bf whenever possible; it's been pretty fulfilling I suppose. All the modules seem okay except for the freaking tourismlaw, which practically everyone couldnt glimpse during today's lecture and we were all like wts. Like HELLO, we are in trm not some law course, but here you are asking us to study some legislative stuff blah blahzxz. It's not like its gonna be of use in future. Oh man. The tutorial qns for Tlaw are madness and you should've seen what kinda qns are asked lol.

Help?

Now I wish we'd studied Blaw in year1 so that life can be easier now. But oh well.. The big day aka. spm project execution day was finally over and done with on Wed, and thank God that almost everything went well. I guess the entire process- from planning to execution, was a great experience gained though. Even though there were grudges and unhappiness caused along the way, I'm glad that everything turned out right. With industry partners visiting our booths and judging our success, nothing could be more eye opening. Thumbs up for TRM! (: Here are some photos taken; ( I didn't snap a lot cus it wasnt convenient to do so haha)

Cheers! (:
Funshot :DD

♥yours truly. 9:44 PM

After months of procrastination, I finally made my way down to bbdc on Thurs and signed up for driving. BTT's still far though- 22nd Nov. Bf wanted to sign up too but bcus of the lack of some documents, there's a need to make another trip down.. ): Anyw, I'm still a blur girl regarding the use of the bbdc system, so bless that I'll be enlightened soon alright! (:

So we found another lovely spot for chilling today and its actually a place that most of us have been to several times for that darn LAM proj- Clarke and Boat quays! The riverside a fabulous place to sit and chill with yr friends/loved ones after a hard day at work. With the waves splashing against the colourful steps, accompanied by the gentle breeze which incorporates with the nice view of either the Asian civilization Museum/BoatClarkeQuay's alfresco dining outlets, it's just a marked spot of relaxation. :)

Andddddddd. I can't help emphasizing the fact that longbusridesareLOVE. Even though the final destination's unknown at times, its the time spent which matters. Now you know the augmented benefits of the bus concession? Ha.

Silly boy,
Thank you for putting up with my nonsense,
my moodswings,
& my quiet moments.
I'm so glad that today's well spent even though the duration wasn't long.
If only times like this are forever,
How nice will things be..
But anyw, I'm glad that you're ok now,
Cus I don't wanna see the gloomy and tired you..
I wanna see my happy, energetic and smiling boy!
Stay happy okay!
youknowIloveyou ((:

Here are some pics of the past few days:

phototaking session while Des was checking in..
Grp pic (:
he says his head is big.
clarkequay ((:
Love (:

♥yours truly. 12:38 AM

As we sent Des off to the airport last night, it struck me that in the process of friendship, friends leave and go- through overseas attachments, study programs, migration.. and all other reasons which may be the cause of departure. It's sad, but its just part and parcel of life I guess. As time pass and as we advance in our studies, we tend to go our separate ways to pursue our desired areas of study.

We were talking abt possible future study trips at the airport and Sojini and I were like omfg, what if everyone leaves us nxt year and its only left with the both of us? Ha. Witnessing the difficulty of leaving and the complications which may be involved makes me really really obliged to go overseas. And I doubt I will too, somehow. Staying in SG should be wise even though exposure is minimal.

So I finally met you ystd afternoon after soo long and you.are.so.shagged. You are napping beside me now but pls take care, rest well and replenish yr sleep. I wouldn't want you to fall ill again.. What's more, school's about to start. ): Getwellsoonkmyboy! Hurts me to see you soo tired and moody.. Sorry for being so quiet and moodless today- its just one of those days when I'm attacked by the darn moodswings.. Don't worry ok (: i still love you as much! Tkc my silly silly boyyyy ((: And ystd was cherished even though the amt of time spent was pretty short..
loves! ((:

♥yours truly. 4:21 PM

Family dinner at Ken's Ehhh.. what can I say?
Formation premier (:
Sentosa outing after Dancecamp! (;
Fireworks display-

♥yours truly. 1:12 AM

Prologue: If you would, pls bear with me. I'm a whiny girl tonight.

It's been more than 24 hours since I last saw you, and I'm missing you like never before.

I figured out that one of the best ways to kill time and boredom is to engage yourself in anything but the subject matter; and it helps. In other words, I spent the entire night searching for smthg to get myself occupied in order to prevent my brain from thinkin' about you. Defragmenting my lappie, deleting unnecessary files, blog & friendster hopping.. [the list goes on] were some of the activities sought in alleviating the misses.

I know its kinda crazy but I can't help it. You kept appearing on my mind. And the fact that you're soo far away, in a ulu campsite near the freaking Airport sucks.. Thought the day would past since I was out for a few hours, but the evening-night was hard to pass. Time seemed to crawl, and no matter how many times I stared at the clock, the hour just wouldn't pass.

Oh baby, I think you got me addicted- just like how people get stuck to coffee because of caffeine. Just a the 2nd night without you and I'm like this.. Like I said, nights are just so lonely without you being here. It's just.. different.

And how can I close that water tap successfully? Haha, I'm still wondering.. I don't want to keep it turned on either, cus those tears tire one out.. Totally.

I miss you. And may tmr past in breeze with the darn SPM project from morning-afternoon, and dance from evening-night. Then Wed will arrive already (: Hopefully.

♥yours truly. 10:33 PM

Talk abt filial piety and I know that I'm lacking quite some bit of it.

When you said that you wanted a talk, I could already guess the content- my over-frequent going out schedules. You thought that I wasn't aware of what my personal engagements and doings? Sorry but I absolutely do. It's just that.. I can't bring myself to stay put at home for even a day, albeit spend time with you when all I do is face my lappie in my room all day.

I know that for the past few months or rather this holiday, I haven't been spending time with you guys and when schedules became more hectic, I couldn't even afford to have a meal or two with you at home, or what you name as- family dinner. It's sad, I know. But.. I just can't help it.

Blame it on me, blame it for my bad time management, blame it on what my heart's telling me to do and what not to.

But,

Do you know how much I want to tell the both of you the reason behind all these? Do you know how much I want to tell you abt everything like how others can just freely tell their parents that 'Hey, I've got a boyfriend. Do you know that it isn't easy hiding for the sole reason of you seeing us? Do you know that I haven't been having an easy time? Do you know all my fears in doing so? Do you know that you have yet gained my trust in confiding everything abt relationships in you? Do you know how much I worry abt the consequences?

You don't. The very fact is, you don't. If only you do, if only..

I hate it when you assume when you haven't even gotten the facts right. I have it when you accuse. I hate it when you blame everything on bad company cus the friends whom I have now are certainly the best of all. So what if most of us place friends & relationships above family. It's not right but it's what a lot of youngsters do in the modern society. I mean, get real, Mom&Dad. We're now in the 21st Century so mind you, trends are already totally different from what you've experienced in the past.

On a side note, I'm quite proud of myself for being able to control my emotions and not shed a single tear in front of you two. I was alr tired to the max after reaching home and all I wanted was a hot shower, followed by a short nap before I take dinner. Then there you were drilling all those stuffs in my head, causing me to be unable to even sleep cos the mood wasn't there anymore. The time in the washroom was bad. In conjunction with the short parting with B just a while before, combined with the naggings and talks, nothing could be worse.

Wishing that you were here, my boy.. Its only Day 0 and I miss you so.. Promise me that you'll take care of yourself and that you're having fun alright. I love you.

♥yours truly. 9:01 PM

Baby,

You're going away for 3 days tmr and I am so gonna miss you. Call me a weakling, call me poor. But its a fact that I am going to miss you so so much during these 3 days when you're away for camp. Though you'll still be in Sg, you'll be like soo far away frm me in a campsite near Changi. 3 days isn't that long as compared to the torturous 7 days that we've been through a month ago, but I think its enough to cause my heart to miss you like crazy.

I can't promise that I won't cry, cus even as I'm typing this entry, its as if the tap's turned on to the max and it can't be turned off. And hey hey you you, how can I not be sad when I'm gonna miss you tons.. I'm so gonna miss you; your hugs, your kisses, your smile, your hugo boss smell, your everything. Though phone calls are still gonna happen every night, we won't have our daily night convos on msn, nor can we meet up that often.

Promise me to:
- not shed a tear
- enjoy your camp
- take care of yrself
- have yr meals on time
- eat well
- sleep at least a bit every night even though the schedule's gonna be hectic
- not fall ill
- come back to me safely on Wed (:

See you tmr before you go into camp! I'm gonna wait patiently for Wed to arrive, and or you to be back to me, to run and fall into yr arms once again, and I'm never ever gonna let go again..

I LOVE YOU, MR. TEO KAH ENG.
-sending you tons of love to bring to camp-

P.S: Don't be sorry for what happened anymore, or apologetic for the time spent today. Cus all I ever wanted was to spend the max no. of time with you, and even though today's date was pretty simple and plain, it's definitely well-cherished. ((: xoxo!

♥yours truly. 12:03 AM

It's amazing how old time favourites can sound ever as nice after a long period of hibernation on yr ipod/mp3. Sometimes, they even have the ability to evoke feelings and sensation, especially when you analyse the lyrics in detail.

We were shuffling the songs on my Zen this evening and decided to play this popular mandarin pop which was a hot fav among all youngsters a few years back.


And when the chorus arrived, we couldnt help mouthing the lyrics to each other. Hehe. Singing wasn't a choice because of the crowd on the bus, but just by mouthing the following paragraphs to each other, I felt.. awesome.


愛我,
非你莫屬
我只願守護
由你給我的幸福


愛我,
非你莫屬
也許會笑著哭
但那人是你所以
不怕苦

There was just a very different feeling of being thankful and happy for everything that's happening. Specifically, I was thankful that I've found you. Back then, the song meant nothing but a piece of music with a nice melody and beautifully composed lyrics. Now, the lyrics can actually be put into real life situation like ours.



So anyway, today was fruitfully spent with Mr. bf and the day consisted mainly of long bus rides. Why? Cus we couldn't think of anything to do or anywhere to head to. Yea yea, Singapore's a boring country to reside in. But oh well, albeit from the mundane schedule, we managed to pop by Katong s.c. and I got a pair of new dance heels. Like finally! Thank God that they provide small sizes over at their shop. Smiles! (:


Dinner was spent at Marina's Cafe Cartel- simply de-li-cious! And and and, after which we headed to Esplanade Roof Terrace again to chill. It was much quieter and less packed than it was 2 weeks ago; and with the lovely atmosphere and gentle breeze blowing against us, the night just couldn't be better.

Baby,
Thank you for today,
For the wonderful time spent,
And for the happy memories recorded.
No more sorries,
No more apologies,
Cus what's done is done,
What best is to leave the matter to rest. (:

Thank you for appearing in my life.
Thank you for showing me what the power of love.
Thank you for making me the happiest girl in the world. You don't need to swear upon that,
Cus I know that with you around,
Nothing can ever be better.

I LOVE YOU Mr Teo. Hehehe :DD

Before I sign off, here's some pics to share..

Great company at F1 work! (:

Silly silly boy (:

♥yours truly. 12:42 AM

Dear diary,

and to my dearest Daddy,

Please, please bless that the my lil boy will have his wallet returned asap. It's human nature that we're careless at times, but I don't think its fair to take smthg precious away for no reason; even if its meant to be a lesson learnt.. It meant a lot to him, and I'm hoping that some kind soul had brought it to the security at Bl & that he'll receive a phone call tmr. I'll look down on whomever if he/she decides to steal it. Where's your integrity?

I'll be praying. And hopefully, everything will be fine tmr. God bless (:

~

The feeling of helplessness,
Of not being able to make yrself useful in times of this,
Can never be described.
I wanted so much to help you find it back,
I hoped for the staff at the counter to agree to do a check,
Yet..

Anyw, being there for you was the least I can do.
I hope I made you feel less lost,
And a lil more comforted,
Though the feeling was alr bad enough;

Sorry for the argues,
Sorry for being so stubbon,
Sorry for being ignorant of yr feelings,
I just wanted the best for you.
Cos` I love you too much to hurt you. (:
Loves (:

Thank you Jieli for being there for me! (: Loveya!

♥yours truly. 1:32 AM