Friggin disappointed.

Where's the melody who'll perservere and complete all her tasks no matter what?
Where's the melody who'll resist NOT coming online for the sake of studies?
Where's the MOTIVATION?

That's why, sometimes I really hate my character. Procrastination killls. Badly.

And once again i feel so lost. This emo shit is not making this any better either. Dammit.

There's just o much work but so little time. I didn't go for dance today since the workload is overwhelming. No dance till nxt Thurs, I promised.

And I realised that my LAM is really a lil shitty. Help.

How I wish I had a fab brain. If only.

imyso.

♥yours truly. 12:13 AM

It's 4.2oam now but I'm not at all whiny cus somehow or rather, it's finally completed. I don't know about the quality but I'm just glad that it's 'over'.

The sense of accomplishment is just.. great. Though projects are a killer, I love the happy sensation you get when you wrap em up and know that they're over and done with.

Smiles. =)

Now it's bedtime. Good night world. (:

有了你我的世界不一样

♥yours truly. 2:33 AM

What do you expect from an oh-so-packed week whereby you haveta rush two friggin projects while at the same time, worry about not starting on revision?

It's the first time that I feel soo hopeless. Even the previous exam wasn't this bad. At least I can recall myself mugging a week before finals. Now, even though Bcomm is over & done with with the wrapping up done ystd, I'm still left with LAM.

God, please give me strength to carry on this journey..

So anyway, to all those ppl out there (you know who I'm referring to), stop the childishness, for goodness sake. What do you gain out of pranks? What do you gain out of stirring up the feelings of others? Just stop it, all of you and please leave my darlings alone.

Like I said, stop the pain.

And some things are getting outta hand. It's just so frustrating la. Argh

I know this is random but:

Shijiao.Mich.Alicia.Von.Cheryl- I'll always be here for you and I love you darlings!
Gfs esp. Ley.Aud.Est.Shux.Bridget- I love you girls. Thanks for brightening up my days and for all the joy and laughter we share in sch! (:

& to you. thanks for being there always. l (:

♥yours truly. 2:11 PM

这是缘分吗？

无论是什么原因，我都非常珍惜面前的一切。

:)

经过四川的地震后，我发觉了生命的宝贵，生命的价值。其实，能够开心的过着每一天是件即幸福又幸运的事。我学会了珍惜。真的不敢想象死去孩子的感觉。。那伤痕将永远柯在父母的心里，一辈子也消失不了。

那该多痛苦啊？):

天上的爷爷：我在这儿诚恳的向你祈祷，希望救护人员会找回更多的生存者。。人们是无辜的-为何要把他们宝贵的生命夺走呢？这未免太残忍了吧。。

好吧，今天就写到这儿。。我该去睡了-晚安咯，大家！(:

sweet :)

♥yours truly. 2:13 AM

It's 3am and I'm still awake. Been sleeping at this alien-like hour these days and I'm so gonna be a panda resemblance soon. Bless me.

And projects just suck. Freak them.

There're a million tasks to complete but time seems disgustingly short. Oh god. Help. I've never felt this helpless before, nor have I felt this worried/scared over the lack of time. It's like I've not even started CT revision when PMKT is extremely yucky.

Can I dance my life away, pretty please? I felt great during today's night prac. Productive. (:

& i knowe'llwalkthroughthistog.

♥yours truly. 2:59 AM

At times, the mind can really make you go crazy. One moment, you're told to do this and before you know it, your fickle-mindedness starts. I hate it. I hate being a person filled with thoughts and I detest the fact that I have a trillion concerns over the slightest things. It makes me see circles..

Let's see how things go as weeks past. :)

So yeah, Friday has arrived once again and we're left with one pathetic week to mug for CT. With the uncompletion of the two projects which are due super soon and the need to rush other assignments, I'm not sure how I'm gonna cope. Seriously, school sucks big time.

Next week's e-learning week and CT's the week after. Tell me that I'll survive. I need to start mugging.. PMKT.ATRM.LAM.- I'm so gonna trash you. (hopefully)

Dance wise, I liked our prac during last night's mock comp and finally, I feel the lil sense of power in myself once again.. Hees. :D Pray that we'll all cont to improve and ace NTU Open yeah? Though teachers are currently away for comps, we'll prac twice as hard and if possible, show our best performance in time to come! And I'm starting to love Rumba although our routine's simple. Tehee. Go NPDS! (:

Off. Tmr's another whole day of dancing and surviving with three hours of sleep can really kill. So much for dozing off during lectures and tutorials.. :/

Have a little faith. :D

♥yours truly. 1:59 AM

Tell me about it- two devastating disasters occurring within a month which resulted in thousands of death. And with the death toll rising constantly, accompanied by the no. of missing victims and child deaths, the situations are horrid.

What on earth is wrong with the world? Is this a sign to indicate that we're exploiting too much of resources and are constantly harming the Earth? Even if the reason's as such, I feel that the above's just too much.

I was reading through the papers on Monday morning and there came this story of a man who survived the Sichuan quake by drinking his own urine and consuming the powder in his cigarettes. What's more? A baby was found consuming his mom's breastmilk even though she's dead. This goes to show how much the mom wanted her child to survive even though she knew that she'll die. )):

Slowly but surely, I felt the moist develop in my eyes.. I imagined myself being victims of both tragedy. I imagined myself being parents whose kids were all killed and I also placed myself in the shoes of those kids who've become orphans within minutes.

And to think that all this shit's caused as a result of a friggin earthquake & cyclone makes me detest mother nature more. :/

*For goodness sake, will Myanmar just open its country to accept the many helping hands provided? It's just acting dumb with all the political stuffs and all. Seriously.. Don't the gov know how deprived people are of food, water and belongings?

No one said that life's a bed of roses, but neither did I think people's lives would be taken away in a split second.

~

So anyway, the first part of our CEM project is finally over & done with today. All 4 classes did pretty well and I'm guessing that Ms Ong will have a hard time deciding the winning bid. Hehs (: I'm super proud of my dearest class , TRo4 with special thanks to May, Bridget, Jeremy, Tim, Shu Xian & Rach: Thank God for all of you, especially May & Bridget. You guys were fab.

Speaking abt CEM, I broke my late-night sleeping record the past few days cus for 3 consecutive days, I was turning in at 3+ 4am. But even though part of CEM is done, the remaining projects remain dead. I should really start planning if I don't wana suffer. Omgosh.!

Smthg to look forward to: No school for wed&thurs although we stil gotta go back for projects; & E-learning week is also coming up! Yayness!

I should be sleeping alr. It's 2.37am and I'm really guilty for having such late nights these days. Tsk.

Off.

P.S: I always love talking to you darlin. I miss those times when we chatted till late at night and had frequent suppers aft dance. Its bcus of sch which disallows such times now.. But still, thank God for you. I love you! :)

a test of endurance;

♥yours truly. 1:26 AM

Like what Bridget has said, who'll expect poly life to be so stressful?

I can still recall how much I complained the past 2 semesters but when looking back, I realise that those teeny weeny lil stress constitutes to almost nothing as compared to what everyone's going through now.

Seriously, I think the teachers must have had one of their screws loosened to place the project deadlines so friggin near. These few days've been crazyy cus everyone's rushing for the darn CEM project like mad since its due next Tuesday and we only started proper planning this week.

And oh boyyy. I must say that the planning/idea generation was kinda freaky.

Sparks flew;
Moods swung;
Arguments began;
And relationships almost went haywire.

Thank god everything's alright now. :) We're just hoping that we'll produce a good piece of work this Tues and do our very best. No regrets k Tro4? We rawk! Let's show AndyOh that we're not what he commented, cus the very fact is, we're not likewise. Hehh.

Then it was also my first time (in this sem), sleeping at 3.15am due to ATRM. There was this friggin open-book test today and even so, we were paranoid enough to worry. True enough, time was not our side and I rmb shaking that lil toy a million times just to wipe off the errors. All in all, I think only a few managed to get A=L+OE.

It's weird. I'm jus praying that my grades will be at least acceptable to cover up for the first test. It was horrid even though I passed.

The upcoming weeks are gonna be uber taxing & packed! With project deadlines just 2 weeks away and the completion of less than 20% of the assignment, I really don't know what to expect. What's more, the revision's yet to begin.

'Planning' is the word.

Sometimes, I hate the fact that time's so so short.

Anyw, you wouldn't wanna make me reach the limits. When it's too much, it really is. And one day, I won't hesitate to just ...

Also, mind you two to not treat them likewise alrite. Stop it. Stop the pain. Stop hurting them. Don't you know how much tears they've shed for you? Don't you know that doing all these shit just makes me despise you guys even more? Then again, may I ask. What benefit do you gain out of everything? If its for pleasure, I suggest you stop. There's no point in doing so anyw.

I hate it when my darlings are sad. So cheer up my dears! (: Melovesyou! :DD

Off.

gws to you (:

♥yours truly. 1:11 AM

I know I'm not alone and that I'll walk through this tough journey with Him. He's the one who'll always be there to listen to you through your prayers, and He's someone who'll make you feel better in times like this. When stress looks upon you, just sit back, stop what you're doing and recite your woes & unhappiness.

That's the power of God and the most important point is, perhaps to have faith & trust in him. After all, there's a reason for everything; like wise for our countless add-ons to our workload.

I think I should allocate a portion of my time to silent prayers every night to calm myself down and to talk to Him.

:)

It's a month away from dancecamp and dance nationals. Freak!

And know you'll be there.

♥yours truly. 12:18 PM

I hereby declare that I hate atrm. Thought that I'll not be seeing stars after clearing some doubts from the past weeks but I guess I'm wrong.

Pray that tmr's graded assignment is manageable, pray. And I almost died out of frantic just now.. Everything seemed so alien-like. So what if its an open book test?

I planned to wrap up this stupid module by midnight and at least start working on the friggin LAM. But where's the time? And to think that we gotta rush out CEM proposal by next Tuesday, accompanied by the need to work on Bcomm makes my insides swirl.

Help.

I seriously need 10 days a week to strike an equal balance of studies, dance and leisure time.

a gem in the sky (:

♥yours truly. 11:58 PM

Speechless.

This won't go on; I can't stand it anymore. It's been going on for a year and to tell you the truth, I'm really really irritated at times. Heck the smiles which have been displayed cus I tell you- they were meant to cover all emotions.

Please wake up. I'm not meant to be ordered to do things as and when you like and whose assets are tossed around as if I'm the dictionary.

♥yours truly. 3:23 PM

Just when I thought one Sunday would do the job, things were proven to be wrong. Totally wrong.

I wanna rant; about how sucky school is, how stressful year 2 is, in particular. There's just too many tasks on hand that you don't know which one to attend to and which to prioritise. Why is it that the darn project deadlines are soo friggin SOON? Bcomm's long report is due in abt 2 weeks time and LAM individual assignment's due on June 2nd. Plus, the CEM proposal has to be presented next Tuesday.

Oh god.

And did I mention how tough the tourism tutorials are? CEM & LAM tutorials are ever so alien-like that I'm starting to wonder how will the test/exam qns be like. What's in for us?

Tried looking through ATRM chpt 3 since the tutorial's yet to be done and there's another graded assignment this Tuesday but I totally catch no ball. So what if its open book? So what if we can refer when the concepts aren't even mastered?

With project deadlines edging ever so near and assignments/tutorials left undone, in addition with the raw concepts which are yet to be grasped, I really don't know what to expect in the upcoming months.

Seriously I can just die.. Managed to keep myself going in year 1 but I'm unsure abt now. The motivation's not even there, neither is the attitude.

Tell me what I should do. Pretty please? I think I can just explode some time soon.

):

♥yours truly. 10:01 PM

Words from the doc can really be freaky at times. I just hope that everything's alright. :)

Then again, 24hours 7days a week is seriously insufficient. Sometimes, I wish that the week can be extended to 10days or so with an equal no. of weekdays and weekends. There's really no time for school work and I gotta start getting myself focused and on track asap. I mean it.

What's more? CT's in abt 3wks time when I'm still uber new to this sem's modules. Freak!

Then comes dance. Camp's in a months time and we're left with roughly 6 weeks NTU Nationals. And minus the time spent for studying for CT & the CT week, as well as the week where M&S are heading to Blackpool, we actually have only a month left. My Cha is yet to be 100% polished, not to mention even 1% for Rumba. ): Omggg.

Time is lacking like it never did. Oh god. Help. Year 2 stinks!

Alright folks, here comes some pics which I've owed ya. Speaking abt them, we went for this Freshmen Dance Party last night at the C.ctre. Expected a lil more but it turned out to be pretty boring.. I'm also shocked by how great a clubber Ali and Cheryl are! Hehh. I wanna learnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

Enjoy and goodnight! :]

Thanks alot for the wonderful surprise & gifts! I love you girls :D

This costs only $18!

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL MOMMIES! :D
and I LOVE YOU mommy!

Have a lil faith! :)

♥yours truly. 12:58 AM

I wanna thank all those who wished me. (: I'm really glad that you remembered and took the lil effort to send that sms, tag or write a comment. Even a simple 'happy birthday' shows how much you care and I appreciate that lots. :D

So I'm finally 18 after waiting for soo long, but I won't say that May 8th, 2008 was a happy one. I'd prefer May 7th. (: Though I spent 3/4 of the day with my darlings, the mood just wasn't there..

Blame the darn mood swings.

People always say God's fair and that He knows what to do each time. However, I can't help having doubts at times. I may be a blissful and happy lil girl now but what about my darlings? Its heartbreaking to see them sad and it feels worse to see them tear.. I want them to be equally happy as I am and if possible, I wanna share what I have with each and every single one with them.

To Shijiao, Michelle, Cheryl:
My dearest darlings; please cheer up. (: I knew that there was a stronger reason behind those tears shed other than listening to my story but don't be sad alrite.. The past is alr history and I'm sure that its a chapter of your lives which is hard to or you may never forget. Its definitely inevitable to miss, to ponder or to reminisce those memories but what's most impt now is perhaps to pick yourselves up and move on. Life's short and we live only once; so lets all be happy as far as possible and make the best out of everyday ok! Rmb that I'll always be here for you no matter what. I love you girls. a lot! (:

To Alicia:
Darlin baby! (: Please don't get mad for me.. Maybe sometimes we gotta understand that not everything goes as planned. Thank you for the wonderful gift and fo trusting me, for always being there when I needed you and for being my darling lil girlfriend. Don't think too much abt dance stuffs for now alrite.. Just see how things go and then decide again? (: Should you need a listening ear, I'll always be there for you. And lets have fun tonight k! Thank God for you sweetiee and wo ai ni! =p

To Yvonne:
MOMMY! Hehhehe. I know you're still waiting for my bedtime story; tehee. Just wanna let you know that I'm proud of you. For moving on so well and for always being so jovial, so cheerul and so happy-go-lucky. You never failed to cheer me and add colour to my days.. Thanks for all those advices that you gave. I love you too! You're my best mommy! Hearts!

I love my clique of 8ight too. Each and every single one of them- Aud, Est, Yina, Char, Ley, Shux and Rach- thanks for everything! From the surprise, gifts, to the genuine friendship which we share. I'm really glad to know you girls and its you who make poly life enjoyable. (minus the mugging part) I LOVE YOU GIRLs!

Last but not least..

May 7th was a day that I'll never forget. Lots happened; lots thought; lots said; lots loved. Touched and appreciated is what I wanna say. And I think ants would have been crawling all over the place last night without us knowing. Thanks for the respect; and I'm confident that one day, I'll be able to provide an answer which'll put a smile across your face. Thanks for all the effort and time. (((: Big smiles!

♥yours truly. 1:30 AM

Bestie and I were on the phone chatting about this particular topic last night and we laughed like mad. It was super hilarious I tell you! I also managed to discover several things which I hadn't known earlier. Ha. (:

So projects are all starting to flood our lives once again- its just a viscious cycle I suppose.. but sadly, my mind's still unable to focus after 3 weeks of school. Bcomm long report's due on 29th May and LAM individual assignment's due on 2nd June. What's more, there's this large project for CEM whereby everyone's supposed to work as a class and organise an event or smthg on 1st Aug at The Intercontinental on August 2nd. Mind you, it's gonna be a real life event with real participants! Sounds interesting eh?

And and and I just realised that May's a popular month for birthdays! Haha. The entire week's filled with birthdays! :D

Sun 4/5: Sojini meinu (:
Mon 5/5: Cheryl sweetie (:
Tues 6/5: May (:
Wed 7/5: Richie
Thurs 8/5: Meeee ;x
Fri 9/5: Maureen (:
Sat 10/5: Mdm Chan

I'm hoping that the plan to go to Zouk this Friday is still on. I want my virgin club experience. Haha. Alicia darlin, pls be able to go.. :)

And oh! My parents are going back to HK for about a week or 2 in August! Sleepover anyone? :)

everything'sgreatlyappreciated(:

♥yours truly. 2:54 PM

The result of having insufficient sleep, as quoted, is a weak immune system governed by a series of 'aftermath'. The friggin sorethroat started its attack this morning and it seemed to have worsened as time passed. Oh god. Please save me; I can't afford to fall ill just when the busy period is about to begin and when my big day is 4days away.

):

Boo hoo.

Sunday's so gonna be homeday again since every Sat's spent dancing. I love the new stunt in our Rumba but the whole routine still looks kinda raw since we haven't done techniques.. And to think that performance is just this Friday gives me shivers down the spine. Omfg.

Oh yess. On a sad note, projects & assignments are piling but conversely, I'm doing nothing. Good job mel. How am I supposed to keep my name on that list? :

Anyw; HAPPY SWEET 18th SOJINI PRETTAYE! YOU'RE FINALLY LEGAL! HEH.

when.you.look.me.in.the.eyes

♥yours truly. 1:04 AM

In the midst of the drowning schoolwork and piling assignments, it's always nice to spend a day with your darlings and dearest friends who never fail to brighten up your day. (:

And so yesterday was well-spent with the planning and execution of Teacher Melvin's birthday party at Kallang Leisure Park's Mcdonalds. It sure felt as though we were back to our childhood days; partying in the premises of the famous McDonalds and wearing that cute lil party hat which brings back memories. Then we slacked at the leisure centre itself by playing photo hunt and lazing around. Camwhored a lot but most of the pics are still with PingTing. (:

Tonight's gonna be uber fun again cus we're gonna have a post-bday party at Mich darlin's place! Then tmr's dance day again.

6moredays((:

WE LOVE YOU, TEACHER SHARON! =p NPDS LOVES BOTH M&S! (:


Love them all :D

♥yours truly. 11:19 AM