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Please Stay Little Forever.

This face says it all.  Over the last 6 weeks my parenting skills have been put to the test.  Some days I fail, but most days I think we are succeeding...although I can hardly let myself even get to the point of feeling like maybe, just maybe we are turning a corner...because then it inevitably all comes crashing down.  I have come to believe that just like the age two is always described as terrible, the age of five could be described as ferocious, frightful, fierce, fiendish or foul.

You choose.

It all started when he was technically five and a half.  So far into 5, I thought we avoided the power struggle all together.  Not so. Instead, I think it was just festering & building strength.  Like a volcano ready to erupt.  And erupt he has.  It all started with the beginning of kindergarten.  Oddly enough, I'm not even sure what he is fighting.  If there is a creature of habit, it is him.  He thrives in a routine, so you think school would be a breeze.    But maybe the routine of it isn't the problem...maybe instead it is the lack of independence.  The constant barrage of direction.  If we can relate on anything, he & I, it is that we do not like to be told what, how, when & where to do things.  

And so, after 6 hours of being told what, how, when & where to do things, he comes home a volcano.  Today it took precisely 2 minutes and 11 seconds before he was huffing & puffing, stomping & slamming.  The muscles in his neck get tight.  His fists ball up.  His words are spit out in pure frustration.

All over which snack to have after school.  You can imagine his reaction when the answer is just, 'no.'  Not pretty.

Then he swings the other way.  Doesn't want to leave the house to play at friends.  Doesn't want to go to his church class, wants to go everywhere with me.  Tears. Tears. and more tears.  I swear he & his sister just switched places & it has thrown me for a loop.

He is using up all my resources.  I've loved him.  I've used positive reinforcement.  I've threatened him & carried through on my threats.  And nada.

Still lots of back talk.  Lots of frustration.  Lots of tears.  And lots of rottenness.  

And frankly, I find myself missing my little boy who was always my buddy.

I don't pretend to be a perfect parent.  His behavior will surely indicate that.  But I will say I am a very deliberate parent.  Painfully so at times.  I will fight the fight if it needs fighting & I will also stand back & watch the fall.  With him, it is usually stand back & watch the fall.  He learns best by making his own choices & then suffering the natural consequences & so, I have to stand back & watch.

But knowing it is best, doesn't make it any easier.

Tonight he had pushed to the limits & so dad was handling bedtime, while I took care of the baby.  As I was feeding him & trying to decompress from the day, Zack came bounding in.  Before he could hardly get a word out I was ordering him out of Max's room.  But his excitement bubbled over has he exclaimed, "No mom.  I have some very exciting news."  His whole body was alive with jubilation.  

Still annoyed with the interruption, I asked, "what?"

Only to have him giggle with glee that he had a loose tooth.

What?!?

I pulled, I wiggled & it jiggled.  

He was ecstatic.  I was shocked.

He was thrilled.  I was in despair.

How could this possibly be?  How did this happen?  He is way too little to be loosing teeth.

But it is here.  He will be toothless in our Christmas pictures & by summer he will have teeth bigger than his head.

I cannot believe it is happening.

I rejoiced with him & pretended I couldn't have been happier.  And then scuttled him off to bed & went back to rocking my baby, who is crawling at 5 months & will probably be walking tomorrow & talking back the next day.

Recipe Favorites: Tortilla Soup

The past week has been a rainy one here in the desert.  And as such, I've felt the pull to some of my soups & other fall recipes.  In hindsight, only 2 or 3 days were rainy, but the temps were below 100 for a good 5 days...which means I pretend like it's fall.  Sad, but true.

This recipe is for Tortilla Soup & I will fully admit the first time or two it will feel like a lot on the prep end, but once you make it a couple times it starts to come together very quickly.  Also, if you can chicken -- this is a good recipe to use it in.  Don't use store-bought canned chicken...just the kind you can yourself.  I'm fresh out & need to get on the ball because it makes dinner prep a cinch.

Also, I've tweaked & modified this one all sorts of different ways & it always turns out good.  If you need more soup, add more tomatoes to your blender & more chicken stock...always make extra...it is better the 2nd day.

Tortilla Soup

1 yellow onion thinly sliced
2 garlic cloves
1/2 fresh cilantro
1 C canned tomatoes
1/2 t cumin
4 C chicken broth
Shredded cooked chicken
2 t fresh lime juice

Toppings:
Shredded Monterey Jack Cheese
Chopped Avacado
Corn Tortillas - cut into strips & fried golden brown
Sour Cream

Saute onion & garlic over medium high heat in 1TB olive oil until tender, about 10 minutes.  Add cilantro for last minute.  Combine the above mixture in blender with canned tomatoes.  Blend until smooth & pour into soup pot.  Add 1 TB olive oil & cumin, heat until it thickens & darkens - about 5-6 minutes.  Over medium heat add chicken broth & cooked chicken.  Let warm & thicken.

Serve with toppings listed above -- you can switch out the corn tortillas for plain old tortilla chips, but really the authentic version is much better.  So just cut your corn tortillas into strips & fry them up...it's worth it.

This soup is good the first night, but even better the second.  So double it -- you won't regret it.

House Stuff.

Do you ever wake up on a random morning, look around your house & realize you absolutely hate everything about it? 

Good.  Me too.

It usually happens to me when I realize people outside of 'my normal' are going to be coming in my space & I look around as if I'm that new person & notice every single flaw.  My chairs in my family room are too short for my ceiling height.  My entry way, is well empty.  I wish my cabinets were white, like everyone else's...or at least something other than what they are.  There are spit up stains on my carpet.  My kids' fingerprints are all over every single door jam.  My couch is ugly.  My kitchen rugs desperately need to be replaced.  And oh yeah, I have a freaking LoveSac in my family room.  Yes.  You read that right.

Some of you are probably wondering what in the world a LoveSac even is -- just transport yourself back to college & think of those big, huge, fluffy bean bag type chairs...yes, there has been one in my family room for the last 7 years.  No, I am not still in college, nor am I even in my 20s.

Sometimes, I hate my husband...mostly in instances where he insists on buying a 5 foot LoveSac when we are first married {see at one point, I was a really nice wife who just let these things happen!  I have obviously since learned my lesson.}.  Because you know those purchases just follow you around year, after painful year.  After a while your eye just gets used to the big brown blob in the corner.  It is even a good place for your kids to wrestle & then you wake up & realize you are an adult living in a home, not a dorm & the family room is no place for a LoveSac.

So I moved it to my room, naturally.  And after finding Kevin's old Nintendo64 today Scoobs has been holed up in there all day playing DonkeyKong & Tetris...on the LoveSac.  Frankly, it looks pretty inviting.  So now what? 

I'm not sure having the LoveSac in my room with a Nintendo64 is quite what I was going for & in fact, I think it is worse than having it in my family room -- as it quite literally takes up my entire room.  Did you forget we own the 5 FOOT model...yes, I am 5 feet as well, so just picture me in a LoveSac form.  Furthermore, pairing the LoveSac with the Nintendo & having it ALL in my bedroom {you know, that place that is supposed to be a haven} while Scot & Scoobs talk strategy is making it really feel like a dorm...add some dirty socks, oh wait, got those & yep, my bedroom is now the dorm.

Try not to be jealous.

And go give your husband a kiss if he has not made you purchase a LoveSac.  I can't right now, because one, my husband DID make me buy a LoveSac & two, he's ditched his roommates & left the dorm tonight for the ASU game.

I'm starting to be alarmed at the parallels.