Hoping for a better tomorrow

I couldn't sleep last night. I thought that once I created this blog, that the words would just tumble out of my mouth. But, when I decided to take the plunge last night, I ended up in tears over just naming the blog!!!!

I finally decided on Divine Secrets of the Infertility Sisterhood. Mostly, because that is my favorite book. Another favorite of mine is To Kill a Mockingbird...but To Kill an Infertile Mockingbird just sounded a little suicidal, in my opinion. I like the Divine Secrets title though, as I have discussed with a friend how this infertility nightmare does feel like a terrible sorority that I joined, against my will. I feel like this sorority is hell week for an indefinite number of weeks - never letting up and always trying to crush me (physically, emotionally, spiritually).

This is my first (well, including my post last night, technically second) attempt at Blogging. I have to admit it's pretty intimidating - laying it all out there for the whole world to read. I am really hoping that this will be an outlet for me express feelings that I can't seem to speak. I hope that I won't be too intimidated to write my true feelings, in this medium where anyone can read about our journey, criticize choices I've made or be anything other than kind. I have write this blog for me - and only for me.

So, here I sit at my kitchen table, hoping that tomorrow I will cry less and write more. That I will start my period so that I can begin yet another month of infertility treatment. That I will not avoid calls from my friends who care about me because I find it too painful to even attempt to engage in a normal conversation. Here I sit, hoping for a better tomorrow.