April - Present, 2008

Today, I will finish bringing my blog up to speed on our IF journey. After the miscarriage, we had to wait a cycle. I ended up starting on vacation - anyone surprised?? - in May. We did another IUI - BFN. We discussed IVF with Dr. T and decided to move forward. We had to wait another cycle to finish out additional testing - I was wishing we'd done those right after the MC, but, whatever. We did another IUI while completing the tests, another BFN. One thing I've omitted saying, is, unlike many of my fellow infertiles, I have excellent insurance. So, even though journey is so hard emotionally, we can't complain about it financially. Unlike so many others I know (in real life or virtually), we are so blessed to have such awesome insurance.

IVF #1 began in July. I took BCPs for 15 days and then started lupron, added Bravelle and Menopur and went in for my baseline. There were 8 antral follicles. Still, I left with a nervous feeling. My estrogen moved slowly and all week we were in limbo as to move to retrieval or just do another IUI. We could see 6 follicles. We, who am I kidding - the DRs - finally decided to move on to retrieval. Only 2 follicles, 1 not mature enough and the other didn't fertilize.

IVF #2 began as soon as I started my period in August. My estrogen didn't get past 200 by the 2nd ultrasound (after baseline). The cycle was cancelled the Friday afternoon before labor day - and here I am waiting for my period (again).

In between IVF #1 and IVF #2, we went to get a 2nd opinion. Dr. K's (2nd opinion RE) practice seems much more research focused and much more aggressive. They have been the first to try and succeed at several IF related procedures in Georgia. We both really liked him. The problem is that he is out of network for my insurance. So, to even try IVF with him, would cost us 5 - 8 times more than trying with Dr. T. Sucks. I had the mind enough to check with the other insurance provider my company offers. Dr. K is IN NETWORK with them! YAY! I can sign up with them this fall and begin treatment with Dr. K in January 2009.

In the meantime, we have currently planned to try another IUI with Dr. T. His practice believes that my best odds of getting pregnant are with IUI - they don't believe my ovaries will produce more than 2 follicles each cycle (at best). We did tell him that we wanted to try IUI with injectibles - as that's the only thing we haven't yet tried. He, reluctantly, agreed - he thinks injectibles are too risky for multiples. I see his point, but, dude - you just said that I wouldn't produce more than 2 follies, anyway. He's talking out of both sides of his mouth. Anyway, in the interest of not blowing our entire savings and investments, we are, unfortunately, kinda stuck till 2009.

I still haven't started, anyway, and Dr. T's office said to call them on Monday if I still haven't. I'm not sure I care - maybe my body needs time to recover. I don't want to take that medicine that will force my body to start a period. I feel like we've been beating those poor ovaries since January and maybe the guys just need a break. And, I know what you are thinking - maybe I got PG all on our own after they cancelled my IVF in August. I've taken 2 at home tests, just to have them ruin my day. Anyway, for now, we will just wait - no other choice, really. Some days it's so frustrating I can't hardly stand it (like today). Its so sick to crave giving yourself shots - but, when I am - I at least feel like I am doing something and moving forward. When we are waiting I feel like I am not doing anything - positive or negative - and I am SOOOO type A - I can't stand to just do nothing. Maybe I will finally learn patience - it is a virtue, after all :)