In light of the recent weather, I found this and thought that it was appropriate for the season.
65 ABOVE ZERO:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Kansas plant gardens.
60 ABOVE ZERO:
Californians shiver uncontrollably….
People in Kansas sunbathe.
50 ABOVE ZERO:
Italian & English cars won’t start.
People in Kansas drive with the windows down.
40 ABOVE ZERO:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Kansas throw on a flannel shirt.
35 ABOVE ZERO:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Kansas have the last cookout before it gets cold.
20 ABOVE ZERO:
People in Miami all die.
Kansans close their windows.
ZERO:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Kansas get out their winter coats.
10 BELOW ZERO:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Kansas are selling cookies door to door.
20 BELOW ZERO:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Kansas let the dogs sleep indoors.
30 BELOW ZERO:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Kansans get upset because they have to let their cars warm-up.
40 BELOW ZERO:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Kansas start saying: “Cold enough for ya?”
50 BELOW ZERO:
Hell freezes over.
Kansas public schools will open 2 hours late.
1.15.2010
11.05.2009
KU Jokes...
Q: How do you keep a Jayhawk out of your yard?
A: Put up a goal post!
Q: Did you hear about the big power outage at the KU student union?
A: Forty Jayhawks were stuck on the escalator for 3 hours.
Q: What are the best 4 years of a KU student's life?
A: The 3rd Grade.
Q: What do you get if you breed a groundhog with a KU football player?
A: Six more weeks of bad football.
Q: What do you get if you drive by the KU campus real slow?
A: A degree.
Q: Did you hear they've decided to cover the field at KU's Memorial Stadium with cardboard next season?
A: People at KU have decided that their team always looks better on paper.
Q: How do you get a KU graduate off your porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.
Q: Why do KU students hang their diplomas from their rearview mirrors?
A: So they can park in the handicapped spot.
Q: Why doesn't KU have ice on the sidelines?
A: The guy with the recipe graduated.
Q: How many KU freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore class.
Q: What do you call a person from KU in a three piece suit?
A: The defendant.
Q: What's the difference between a litter of puppies and KU fans?
A: Eventually puppies grow up and stop whining.
Q: What does the average KU football player get on his SAT's?
A: Drool.
Q: What happens when a KU grad takes Viagra?
A: He gets taller.
Q: Why don't KU grads use 911 in an emergency?
A: Because they can't find "eleven" on the phone dial.
Q: Why was KU late for so many games last year?
A: Every time they passed a sign that said "Clean Restrooms", they did.
Q: Why did they have to cancel the Christmas play at KU last year?
A: They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.
Q: What is the difference between a KU cheerleader and a catfish?
A: One has whiskers and smells, the other is a fish.
Q: Did you hear that KU has found a new use for sheep?
A: Wool.
Q: What do KU cheerleaders and tornadoes have in common?
A: Both end up in trailer parks.
Q: What's the difference between a KU bar and a circus?
A: The clowns don't talk at the circus.
Q: How do you keep a KU girl from biting her nails?
A: Make her wear shoes.
Q: Did you hear about the KU athlete that won a Gold Medal in the Olympics?
A: He was so happy, he had it bronzed.
Q: What's the most useless thing in a KU fan's house?
A: The KU fan.
Q: How do you run a small business?
A: Start with a large business and put a KU grad in charge.
Q: How do you break a KU grad's finger?
A: Punch him in the nose.
Q: What's the difference between a KU cheerleader and a heifer?
A: About 30 pounds.
Q: What do you call a KU fan with half a brain?
A: Gifted.
A: Put up a goal post!
Q: Did you hear about the big power outage at the KU student union?
A: Forty Jayhawks were stuck on the escalator for 3 hours.
Q: What are the best 4 years of a KU student's life?
A: The 3rd Grade.
Q: What do you get if you breed a groundhog with a KU football player?
A: Six more weeks of bad football.
Q: What do you get if you drive by the KU campus real slow?
A: A degree.
Q: Did you hear they've decided to cover the field at KU's Memorial Stadium with cardboard next season?
A: People at KU have decided that their team always looks better on paper.
Q: How do you get a KU graduate off your porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.
Q: Why do KU students hang their diplomas from their rearview mirrors?
A: So they can park in the handicapped spot.
Q: Why doesn't KU have ice on the sidelines?
A: The guy with the recipe graduated.
Q: How many KU freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore class.
Q: What do you call a person from KU in a three piece suit?
A: The defendant.
Q: What's the difference between a litter of puppies and KU fans?
A: Eventually puppies grow up and stop whining.
Q: What does the average KU football player get on his SAT's?
A: Drool.
Q: What happens when a KU grad takes Viagra?
A: He gets taller.
Q: Why don't KU grads use 911 in an emergency?
A: Because they can't find "eleven" on the phone dial.
Q: Why was KU late for so many games last year?
A: Every time they passed a sign that said "Clean Restrooms", they did.
Q: Why did they have to cancel the Christmas play at KU last year?
A: They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.
Q: What is the difference between a KU cheerleader and a catfish?
A: One has whiskers and smells, the other is a fish.
Q: Did you hear that KU has found a new use for sheep?
A: Wool.
Q: What do KU cheerleaders and tornadoes have in common?
A: Both end up in trailer parks.
Q: What's the difference between a KU bar and a circus?
A: The clowns don't talk at the circus.
Q: How do you keep a KU girl from biting her nails?
A: Make her wear shoes.
Q: Did you hear about the KU athlete that won a Gold Medal in the Olympics?
A: He was so happy, he had it bronzed.
Q: What's the most useless thing in a KU fan's house?
A: The KU fan.
Q: How do you run a small business?
A: Start with a large business and put a KU grad in charge.
Q: How do you break a KU grad's finger?
A: Punch him in the nose.
Q: What's the difference between a KU cheerleader and a heifer?
A: About 30 pounds.
Q: What do you call a KU fan with half a brain?
A: Gifted.
11.03.2009
The Historical Origins of the "Jayhawk"
The "jay hawk" was actually the 2nd choice for the University of Kansas' mascot.
The first choice, while also a fictional bird, was more of a nod to the region's evolving biological diversity.
Newly arriving settlers to the Kansas Territories were often amazed at the abundance of what we refer to today as "barn swallows", so much so that the area of what is today east-central Kansas was commonly referred to as "swallow country". As more and more settlers moved to the area, so did their livestock, influencing the overall makeup of the region's animal population. One settler of the time described this integration of the native and domesticated as "a rainbow of diversity, with a flag of waving wheat and the song of the swallow and the crow of the rooster its anthem."
University of Kansas founders were taken by this description of Kansas and thought a representation of this sentiment would be a good emblem for the University. So it was decided that the convergence of the rooster and swallow would from that point on represent the University of Kansas.
They would forever be known as the Kansas Swallowcocks.
Unfortunately, the name wasn't greeted with the enthusiastic acceptance that university founders had hoped. Many inverted the name and called them Cockswallows, or in the native vernacular, "cock swallers". Others became concerned over the origins of the mascot, fearing a literal union of a cock and a swallow had indeed taken place. Still others feared the mascot may be interpreted metaphorically in some way as an abomination to God.
However, the ultimate insult came when it was discovered that the much-celebrated swallows were not swallows at all, but merely common blue jays, a mistake that in retrospect seems absurdly incomprehensible. Despite the obvious mis-identification, raging debates ensued between university founders and the common, uneducated settlers. Fearing alienation and widespread public backlash, university founders backed off their position and conceded that the grandiose swallow upon which they had pinned their identity was, in fact, merely the common blue jay.
In the end, a compromise was agreed upon. At the suggestion of town elders it was decided that a virtual synonym of "swallow cock" would be the official mascot of the university, and the "jayhawk" was adopted.
Even though the modern-era mascot bears little resemblance to the founders' original selection, it still strongly represents their vision for the university and the Lawrence as a whole.
What today is called a jayhawk, is still clearly a rainbow-flag waving, cock-swallowing, beacon of ignorance and ironic arrogance.
-------------------------------------------
This history lesson was originally taught in September but given the nature of this week, I think it should be re-published.
The first choice, while also a fictional bird, was more of a nod to the region's evolving biological diversity.
Newly arriving settlers to the Kansas Territories were often amazed at the abundance of what we refer to today as "barn swallows", so much so that the area of what is today east-central Kansas was commonly referred to as "swallow country". As more and more settlers moved to the area, so did their livestock, influencing the overall makeup of the region's animal population. One settler of the time described this integration of the native and domesticated as "a rainbow of diversity, with a flag of waving wheat and the song of the swallow and the crow of the rooster its anthem."
University of Kansas founders were taken by this description of Kansas and thought a representation of this sentiment would be a good emblem for the University. So it was decided that the convergence of the rooster and swallow would from that point on represent the University of Kansas.
They would forever be known as the Kansas Swallowcocks.
Unfortunately, the name wasn't greeted with the enthusiastic acceptance that university founders had hoped. Many inverted the name and called them Cockswallows, or in the native vernacular, "cock swallers". Others became concerned over the origins of the mascot, fearing a literal union of a cock and a swallow had indeed taken place. Still others feared the mascot may be interpreted metaphorically in some way as an abomination to God.
However, the ultimate insult came when it was discovered that the much-celebrated swallows were not swallows at all, but merely common blue jays, a mistake that in retrospect seems absurdly incomprehensible. Despite the obvious mis-identification, raging debates ensued between university founders and the common, uneducated settlers. Fearing alienation and widespread public backlash, university founders backed off their position and conceded that the grandiose swallow upon which they had pinned their identity was, in fact, merely the common blue jay.
In the end, a compromise was agreed upon. At the suggestion of town elders it was decided that a virtual synonym of "swallow cock" would be the official mascot of the university, and the "jayhawk" was adopted.
Even though the modern-era mascot bears little resemblance to the founders' original selection, it still strongly represents their vision for the university and the Lawrence as a whole.
What today is called a jayhawk, is still clearly a rainbow-flag waving, cock-swallowing, beacon of ignorance and ironic arrogance.
-------------------------------------------
This history lesson was originally taught in September but given the nature of this week, I think it should be re-published.
I once knew a Jayhawk fan that was so stupid...
1. He called me to get my phone number.
2. He spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
3. He put lipstick on his forehead because he wanted to make up his mind.
4. He tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
5. He sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
6. He tried to drown a fish.
7. He thought a quarterback was a refund.
8. He got locked in a grocery store and almost starved to death.
9. He tripped over a cordless phone.
10. He took a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.
11. He asked for a price check at the dollar store.
12. He studied for a blood test.
13. He thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
14. When he heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, he moved.
15. When he missed the 44 bus, he took the 22 bus twice instead.
16. When he took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" he turned around and went home.
17. He cheered for the Jayhawks every Saturday...
2. He spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
3. He put lipstick on his forehead because he wanted to make up his mind.
4. He tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
5. He sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
6. He tried to drown a fish.
7. He thought a quarterback was a refund.
8. He got locked in a grocery store and almost starved to death.
9. He tripped over a cordless phone.
10. He took a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.
11. He asked for a price check at the dollar store.
12. He studied for a blood test.
13. He thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
14. When he heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, he moved.
15. When he missed the 44 bus, he took the 22 bus twice instead.
16. When he took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" he turned around and went home.
17. He cheered for the Jayhawks every Saturday...
11.02.2009
101 Ways to Cook Chicken(hawks)
If you're looking for ways to spice up your tailgate party this weekend -- because we all know that there is never too many ways to cook a Chicken Hawk -- try one of these recipes. They can all be found here: COOKS.com.
After you've tried one of these you can go to the game and see how Bill Snyder does it!
1. SOUTHERN FRIED CHICKEN
2. SPICY CHICKEN WITH GINGERSNAP GRAVY
3. CRUNCHY COATINGS
4. HERB OR SPICY FRIED CHICKEN
5. FRIED CHICKEN WITH ORANGE GLAZE
6. PUNGENT ORANGE GLAZE
7. CHICKEN AND ONION RINGS
8. DELHI CHICKEN
9. CHICKEN ALMONDINE
10. CHICKEN RIVIERA
11. SHENANDOAH SPAGHETTI
12. PAN FRIED CHICKEN
13. CHICKEN EDEN
14. CHICKEN 'N YAMS
15. TOMATO-MUSHROOM GRAVY
16. CHICKEN AND APPLE RINGS
17. CALICO GRAVY FOR FRIED CHICKEN
18. BATTER FRIED CHICKEN
19. GRANDMA'S CHICKEN
20. CARAWAY
21. PLANTATION SPECIAL
22. SPICY PLANTATION SPECIAL
23. NUTTY CHICKEN
24. GLORY FRIES
25. ROSY HARVEST
26. DEEP FRIED CHICKEN
27. BROWNED CHICKEN FRICASSEE
28. BRUNSWICK STEW
29. HORSERADISH SAUCE
30. WITH MUSHROOMS
31. OVEN FRIED CHICKEN FOR A CROWD
32. OVEN BAKED CHICKEN FOR A CROWD
33. BROILED CHICKEN
34. JELLY GLAZED
35. PAPRIKA BROILED
36. DEVILED
37. GARLIC-OREGANO
38. PARMESAN BROILED CHICKEN
39. CHERRY OR GRAPE SAUCE
40. ROAST CHICKEN
41. TRAVELER'S CHICKEN
42. SOUTHLANDER'S RICE
43. CHICKEN IN THE GARDEN
44. CHICKEN YOGURT
45. SUNNY YAM SKILLET
46. YAM NUGGETS
47. IRISH NUGGETS
48. COUNTRY GARDEN CHICKEN
49. SKILLET SANDWICH
50. TOMATO CHICKETTI
51. SKILLET CHICKEN a la KING
52. SKILLET BARBECUED CHICKEN
53. QUICK BARBECUE SAUCE
54. BELL RINGER
55. CHICKEN LIVERS SAUTE
56. CHICKEN PANCAKES
57. SKILLET CHICKEN HASH
58. CHICKEN FRITTERS
59. SKILLET PIES
60. CHICKEN SAUTE WITH NEW POTATOES
61. CAROLINA CHICKEN
62. COUNTRY KETTLE
63. CHICKEN ROSEMARY
64. CHICKEN SCRAPPLE
65. CHICKEN BRAZILIA
66. CHICKEN-MAC SAUTE
67. CHICKEN LOGS (CROQUETTES)
68. COUNTRY CAPTAIN
69. AUNT SALLY'S SPECIAL
70. GALA CHICKEN NEWBURG
71. SPICED CHICKEN
72. CHICKEN DIVINE
73. LOUISIANA MEDLEY
74. CREOLE CHICKEN GUMBO
75. CHICKEN ROLLETTES
76. CHICKEN JAMBALAYA
77. CHICKEN SALAD - COLD OR HOT
78. CHICKEN DELAWARE
79. CHICKEN PILAF
80. FRIED CHICKEN ORIENTAL
81. FRUITED CHICKEN
82. HONEY-SOY BARBECUE SAUCE
83. EGGS FOO YONG
84. CHICKEN CURRY
85. CHICKEN WALNUT
86. SWEET 'N SOUR CHICKEN
87. NIWATORI SUKIYAKI
88. CHOP SUEY
89. PINEAPPLE SPICED CHICKEN
Variation of this recipe
90. ALOHA ALOHA
91. CHICKEN PAELLA
92. ARROZ CON POLLO
93. CHICKEN TETRAZZINI
94. CHICKEN CACCIATORE
95. CHICKEN CAPERS
96. CHICKEN OREGANO
97. COQ AU VIN
98. CHICKEN MARENGO
99. CHICKEN TARRAGON
100. SESAME FRIED CHICKEN
101. MEXICAN CHICKEN
After you've tried one of these you can go to the game and see how Bill Snyder does it!
1. SOUTHERN FRIED CHICKEN
2. SPICY CHICKEN WITH GINGERSNAP GRAVY
3. CRUNCHY COATINGS
4. HERB OR SPICY FRIED CHICKEN
5. FRIED CHICKEN WITH ORANGE GLAZE
6. PUNGENT ORANGE GLAZE
7. CHICKEN AND ONION RINGS
8. DELHI CHICKEN
9. CHICKEN ALMONDINE
10. CHICKEN RIVIERA
11. SHENANDOAH SPAGHETTI
12. PAN FRIED CHICKEN
13. CHICKEN EDEN
14. CHICKEN 'N YAMS
15. TOMATO-MUSHROOM GRAVY
16. CHICKEN AND APPLE RINGS
17. CALICO GRAVY FOR FRIED CHICKEN
18. BATTER FRIED CHICKEN
19. GRANDMA'S CHICKEN
20. CARAWAY
21. PLANTATION SPECIAL
22. SPICY PLANTATION SPECIAL
23. NUTTY CHICKEN
24. GLORY FRIES
25. ROSY HARVEST
26. DEEP FRIED CHICKEN
27. BROWNED CHICKEN FRICASSEE
28. BRUNSWICK STEW
29. HORSERADISH SAUCE
30. WITH MUSHROOMS
31. OVEN FRIED CHICKEN FOR A CROWD
32. OVEN BAKED CHICKEN FOR A CROWD
33. BROILED CHICKEN
34. JELLY GLAZED
35. PAPRIKA BROILED
36. DEVILED
37. GARLIC-OREGANO
38. PARMESAN BROILED CHICKEN
39. CHERRY OR GRAPE SAUCE
40. ROAST CHICKEN
41. TRAVELER'S CHICKEN
42. SOUTHLANDER'S RICE
43. CHICKEN IN THE GARDEN
44. CHICKEN YOGURT
45. SUNNY YAM SKILLET
46. YAM NUGGETS
47. IRISH NUGGETS
48. COUNTRY GARDEN CHICKEN
49. SKILLET SANDWICH
50. TOMATO CHICKETTI
51. SKILLET CHICKEN a la KING
52. SKILLET BARBECUED CHICKEN
53. QUICK BARBECUE SAUCE
54. BELL RINGER
55. CHICKEN LIVERS SAUTE
56. CHICKEN PANCAKES
57. SKILLET CHICKEN HASH
58. CHICKEN FRITTERS
59. SKILLET PIES
60. CHICKEN SAUTE WITH NEW POTATOES
61. CAROLINA CHICKEN
62. COUNTRY KETTLE
63. CHICKEN ROSEMARY
64. CHICKEN SCRAPPLE
65. CHICKEN BRAZILIA
66. CHICKEN-MAC SAUTE
67. CHICKEN LOGS (CROQUETTES)
68. COUNTRY CAPTAIN
69. AUNT SALLY'S SPECIAL
70. GALA CHICKEN NEWBURG
71. SPICED CHICKEN
72. CHICKEN DIVINE
73. LOUISIANA MEDLEY
74. CREOLE CHICKEN GUMBO
75. CHICKEN ROLLETTES
76. CHICKEN JAMBALAYA
77. CHICKEN SALAD - COLD OR HOT
78. CHICKEN DELAWARE
79. CHICKEN PILAF
80. FRIED CHICKEN ORIENTAL
81. FRUITED CHICKEN
82. HONEY-SOY BARBECUE SAUCE
83. EGGS FOO YONG
84. CHICKEN CURRY
85. CHICKEN WALNUT
86. SWEET 'N SOUR CHICKEN
87. NIWATORI SUKIYAKI
88. CHOP SUEY
89. PINEAPPLE SPICED CHICKEN
Variation of this recipe
90. ALOHA ALOHA
91. CHICKEN PAELLA
92. ARROZ CON POLLO
93. CHICKEN TETRAZZINI
94. CHICKEN CACCIATORE
95. CHICKEN CAPERS
96. CHICKEN OREGANO
97. COQ AU VIN
98. CHICKEN MARENGO
99. CHICKEN TARRAGON
100. SESAME FRIED CHICKEN
101. MEXICAN CHICKEN
10.13.2009
Lucky
I don't think of myself as a cat person. I enjoy the companionship of a dog more. They'll fetch, and hunt, and come running every time they see you like it's been weeks since you saw them -- even if you leave the yard for 5 minutes and come back... same slobbery greeting: "Oh Hi! Where have you been? I haven't seen you in ages! I'm glad you're here! Wanna play?" Or something very similar to that...
Cats on the other hand are loners. They could care less about where you go. When you're home. As long as they have food and water, you could drop off the face of the earth and they wouldn't notice. Lucky was that way. She tolerated us. And only us. Strangers in the house were not welcome. She had a very negative impression of Kim's dad. She'd sit on the opposite end of the couch from him and hiss the entire time he was there. Others got the same treatment from her, just not as bad. The four of us were the only people she allowed in her space.
I found her in the middle of an intersection in 1995. I had a soft spot in my heart for this abandoned kitten. She was about three weeks old. Her eyes weren't even open. I took her home and bottle fed her. I even rubbed her back side with a warm towel so she'd do her thing... The vet said that mimicked what the mother cat does. Because of the circumstances in how she came into our lives, we named her Lucky.
When she was about 6 months old she cut (and broke) her tail. I splinted it with popsicle sticks and masking tape. It healed, and more importantly, didn't cost me a visit to the vet. She was a joy to watch. She played hard. I'm sure she set land speed records running through the house. She'd sleep on our water bed (back in the day). She'd fight with the dog. She'd bite you if you tried to pet her. She was a great cat.
In recent years, she developed Diabetes. She'd been blind for about 4 years. She was losing weight. Often times she missed the litter box. But she had mellowed in her old age. Readily accepting ear scratching. But it was time. She injured her eye last week. There was no hope that it would heal.
This morning when I took her in, she was still a great cat. Her motor was running at a smooth idle. She purred louder than any cat I've been around. I wrapped her in a towel and we all said our goodbyes. There were tears all around. Kaylee took it hard. I took it harder than I thought I would. But it was hard. She's been in my life for 15 years.
When I handed her off to the technician Lucky hissed at her...
D
Cats on the other hand are loners. They could care less about where you go. When you're home. As long as they have food and water, you could drop off the face of the earth and they wouldn't notice. Lucky was that way. She tolerated us. And only us. Strangers in the house were not welcome. She had a very negative impression of Kim's dad. She'd sit on the opposite end of the couch from him and hiss the entire time he was there. Others got the same treatment from her, just not as bad. The four of us were the only people she allowed in her space.
I found her in the middle of an intersection in 1995. I had a soft spot in my heart for this abandoned kitten. She was about three weeks old. Her eyes weren't even open. I took her home and bottle fed her. I even rubbed her back side with a warm towel so she'd do her thing... The vet said that mimicked what the mother cat does. Because of the circumstances in how she came into our lives, we named her Lucky.
When she was about 6 months old she cut (and broke) her tail. I splinted it with popsicle sticks and masking tape. It healed, and more importantly, didn't cost me a visit to the vet. She was a joy to watch. She played hard. I'm sure she set land speed records running through the house. She'd sleep on our water bed (back in the day). She'd fight with the dog. She'd bite you if you tried to pet her. She was a great cat.
In recent years, she developed Diabetes. She'd been blind for about 4 years. She was losing weight. Often times she missed the litter box. But she had mellowed in her old age. Readily accepting ear scratching. But it was time. She injured her eye last week. There was no hope that it would heal.
This morning when I took her in, she was still a great cat. Her motor was running at a smooth idle. She purred louder than any cat I've been around. I wrapped her in a towel and we all said our goodbyes. There were tears all around. Kaylee took it hard. I took it harder than I thought I would. But it was hard. She's been in my life for 15 years.
When I handed her off to the technician Lucky hissed at her...
D
9.27.2009
Cool Runner
If you follow me on Facebook at all, you may have noticed some teaser posts in the past few weeks: “Dee is working on a big surprise for Kim”, or “Dee is 2/3 of the way there”. Today, I let her in on her “surprise”. I ran with her. I know that doesn't sound like much of a surprise but she was thrilled.
Back on August 10, I decided that I would learn to run. I mean I know how to run, but I wanted to learn to run distances – chasing the kids to bed doesn't count! I have tried to run before, but my shins hurt to the point of tears, literally. So I chose to begin slowly – a lot of walking with small intervals of running and slowly build up to longer intervals of running with small walks. It was a “Couch to 5K” plan that I modified for me. I even ordered new, high-dollar running shoes to improve my chances of success AND keep me motivated!
Day One I ran a total of two minutes. Yes, two minutes. I walked five, ran one, walked five, and ran one. Hardly the beginning I was looking for, but the pain in my shins was unbearable. I went back to the drawing board. I turned to the only source of information available these days… I went to Google!
Google told me that my overdeveloped calf muscles were putting a strain on my tibialis anterior and that I needed to strengthen and stretch that muscle, small as it is and located directly behind my shin. From there I went to the Y to find an answer to “How?” The two women I sought showed me exercises and stretches. The solution seemed easy enough.
Slowly, I worked toward a goal of 30 minutes of non-stop running. Day-by-day, week-by-week, I got better. When I posted that I was 2/3 of the way to my goal, I had run 20 minutes straight. I know that doesn't seem like much, but for me it was a miracle. In just 5 weeks, I had gone from one minute and tears to twenty minutes and actually feeling good.
Last week, six weeks into my program, I ran 1.5, 1.5, 2, and 2.5 miles. It was time to confess. Yesterday at Target, I bought a pair of running shorts and joked that I was going to run with her today. Today, I changed and she asked if I was really going to run. Yep. I am. I suggested my two-mile route. She thought that my route was boring. She suggested an alternate route. She kept asking if I was OK. I kept asking if I was going to fast for her. I put up a good act. Kept asking how I looked in my new shorts? If we had gone 3 miles yet? If I was slowing her down? We ran 1.5 miles and SHE suggested we should walk. Why. I’m fine. “You can’t run 3 miles your first day out, you’ll never want to run again.” She replied. We walked for a half-mile while I explained what I had been doing. And she asked, “Then why are we walking?” I don’t know it was YOUR idea!
We finished with a total of 4 miles, only running about three. I still have not met my goal of running 30 minutes without walking, but the date to meet my goal is still a week away – I wanted to reach that milestone by the time I turn 40. But just to set the record straight… it was her idea to walk.
She was surprised by the way.
D
Back on August 10, I decided that I would learn to run. I mean I know how to run, but I wanted to learn to run distances – chasing the kids to bed doesn't count! I have tried to run before, but my shins hurt to the point of tears, literally. So I chose to begin slowly – a lot of walking with small intervals of running and slowly build up to longer intervals of running with small walks. It was a “Couch to 5K” plan that I modified for me. I even ordered new, high-dollar running shoes to improve my chances of success AND keep me motivated!
Day One I ran a total of two minutes. Yes, two minutes. I walked five, ran one, walked five, and ran one. Hardly the beginning I was looking for, but the pain in my shins was unbearable. I went back to the drawing board. I turned to the only source of information available these days… I went to Google!
Google told me that my overdeveloped calf muscles were putting a strain on my tibialis anterior and that I needed to strengthen and stretch that muscle, small as it is and located directly behind my shin. From there I went to the Y to find an answer to “How?” The two women I sought showed me exercises and stretches. The solution seemed easy enough.
Slowly, I worked toward a goal of 30 minutes of non-stop running. Day-by-day, week-by-week, I got better. When I posted that I was 2/3 of the way to my goal, I had run 20 minutes straight. I know that doesn't seem like much, but for me it was a miracle. In just 5 weeks, I had gone from one minute and tears to twenty minutes and actually feeling good.
Last week, six weeks into my program, I ran 1.5, 1.5, 2, and 2.5 miles. It was time to confess. Yesterday at Target, I bought a pair of running shorts and joked that I was going to run with her today. Today, I changed and she asked if I was really going to run. Yep. I am. I suggested my two-mile route. She thought that my route was boring. She suggested an alternate route. She kept asking if I was OK. I kept asking if I was going to fast for her. I put up a good act. Kept asking how I looked in my new shorts? If we had gone 3 miles yet? If I was slowing her down? We ran 1.5 miles and SHE suggested we should walk. Why. I’m fine. “You can’t run 3 miles your first day out, you’ll never want to run again.” She replied. We walked for a half-mile while I explained what I had been doing. And she asked, “Then why are we walking?” I don’t know it was YOUR idea!
We finished with a total of 4 miles, only running about three. I still have not met my goal of running 30 minutes without walking, but the date to meet my goal is still a week away – I wanted to reach that milestone by the time I turn 40. But just to set the record straight… it was her idea to walk.
She was surprised by the way.
D
9.18.2009
It may be time to hang 'em up!
At heart, I'm just a big kid. Playing is what I live for. I think that's why I coach youth sports, I spend as much time playing as I do coaching -- I am there to have fun and help the kids have fun.
As the kids get older though, the sports get more physical. Football is getting that way. Our team, the Salina Eagles, has 21 kids. For those of you math challenged individuals, that's one shy of having a full offense and defense to scrimmage. Guess who number 22 is? Yep. Me. I love getting in there and knocking heads with the boys. I get some exercise and they really enjoy beating up on an old man.
Last night I went home sore and bruised. More sore than after any practice this year. When we were practicing our special teams, I was the up man on the punt team. Punts one and two went fine. I blocked if anyone got through the line and all was good. Punt number 3 went wrong. The long snapper -- who happens to be JD -- snapped the ball directly to me. I did what any good up man would do, I ran with the ball. Two boys shot through the line on the right side and had my legs and waist. The end from the left then came in and finished me off. Knocked me flat... actually I did a backwards somersault. He hit me so hard he knocked the elbow band I wear for tendinitis off my arm! They do like to hit me.
After we switched to offense/defense, I played defensive tackle. I took a helmet to my chin, a helmet to my forehead, and a facemask to my right shoulder. I have bruises that an old man should not have. Today, both shoulders are sore. My back is sore. And the muscles in the backs of my legs are sore.
Maybe, just maybe, I should hang up my cleats. Nah, it's too much fun!
D
As the kids get older though, the sports get more physical. Football is getting that way. Our team, the Salina Eagles, has 21 kids. For those of you math challenged individuals, that's one shy of having a full offense and defense to scrimmage. Guess who number 22 is? Yep. Me. I love getting in there and knocking heads with the boys. I get some exercise and they really enjoy beating up on an old man.
Last night I went home sore and bruised. More sore than after any practice this year. When we were practicing our special teams, I was the up man on the punt team. Punts one and two went fine. I blocked if anyone got through the line and all was good. Punt number 3 went wrong. The long snapper -- who happens to be JD -- snapped the ball directly to me. I did what any good up man would do, I ran with the ball. Two boys shot through the line on the right side and had my legs and waist. The end from the left then came in and finished me off. Knocked me flat... actually I did a backwards somersault. He hit me so hard he knocked the elbow band I wear for tendinitis off my arm! They do like to hit me.
After we switched to offense/defense, I played defensive tackle. I took a helmet to my chin, a helmet to my forehead, and a facemask to my right shoulder. I have bruises that an old man should not have. Today, both shoulders are sore. My back is sore. And the muscles in the backs of my legs are sore.
Maybe, just maybe, I should hang up my cleats. Nah, it's too much fun!
D
9.15.2009
Lost in the big city
Kansas Coach Mark Mangino was traveling to Big XII meetings in Kansas City earlier this summer. Now Kansas City can be a confusing place to get around and soon Coach Mangino found himself lost in the big city. After trying unsuccessfully to find his way back to the interstate, he finally stopped at a Quik Trip to ask for directions. Slowing approaching the counter, he politely asked: "Excuse me, but can you tell me how I can get to 435?" The clerk behind the counter promptly replied: "Sure, no problem. Try eating a damn salad every now and then!"
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I love that joke!
D
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I love that joke!
D
9.13.2009
A weekend crappier than most (literally)
I knew football this weekend would leave something to be desired, but the rest of the events of the weekend were completely unexpected.
I knew South would have their hands full with Hutchinson. There are college teams that don’t have the size and speed that Hutch has. South played with them for 18 minutes, then Hutch woke up. The final ended up being 41-6, or something like that…
I knew that JD's team would have to play great to win, too. On Saturday, the Eagles played the Concordia Panthers. Last year, the Panthers went undefeated and outscored their opponents by 77 points through 6 games. We played well for almost 20 minutes but let them score right before half and trailed 20-6. We ended up losing 34-12.
I was up in the air about the Wildcats, but thought this game could be ugly. Last night, courtesy of espn360.com, I watched K-State play – and I use the term “play” in the loosest sense of the term. They looked terrible. Ron Prince obviously left NO talent on this team. Had he returned K-State may have been staring at a 2-10 season.
At halftime I decided that a shower would be more entertaining than the game. As I finished, I heard the tell tale gurgle of a stopped up sewer line. We have a problem spot where a two inch line dumps into the four inch main, so I assumed that I had a 10 minute job ahead of me and I’d be subjected to more bad football.
Wrong! The problem was bigger than I anticipated and kept me busy until 10:00. It was a fitting end – K-State playing like crap, and I’m trying to get crap (literally) flowing again. At 10:00 we decided that we would head for Ellsworth so we could sh*t, shave, and shower (again, literally).
We were up early and headed back for church. After church I ate quickly and started digging. 90 minutes later, I found the clean out and rented a sewer snake. Why someone would bury a sewer clean out is unclear – when they’re buried, they’re harder to find...
Kim suggested I call a plumber. What? The king of DIY, call a plumber? Especially when I get to rent a really cool power tool? NEVER!
I removed a wad of roots and made sure water was flowing – checked to see that sh*t was running downhill. All was good. Two hours later, I’m back to square one. I went back and got the sewer snake again, reamed it out again. This time I retrieved a wad or roots and hair and whatever else plugs up sewers that was as big as a baseball. Again I checked for proper flow. Flushed the toilets with more paper than an average person uses in a week, ran water until the ejection pump ejected, and kicked the sump pump on to see that it was not flowing back into the basin. All was good! Again!
I missed most of the football today, but my Cowboys saved a total washout with a victory over the Tampa Bay Bucs. I also managed to stay in both Eliminator games that I’m competing in: Auburn, Illinois, and the Seahawks all won, keeping me eligible for another week. If I lose at that and don’t win the pot, I can always just fall back on my plumbing skills.
D
I knew South would have their hands full with Hutchinson. There are college teams that don’t have the size and speed that Hutch has. South played with them for 18 minutes, then Hutch woke up. The final ended up being 41-6, or something like that…
I knew that JD's team would have to play great to win, too. On Saturday, the Eagles played the Concordia Panthers. Last year, the Panthers went undefeated and outscored their opponents by 77 points through 6 games. We played well for almost 20 minutes but let them score right before half and trailed 20-6. We ended up losing 34-12.
I was up in the air about the Wildcats, but thought this game could be ugly. Last night, courtesy of espn360.com, I watched K-State play – and I use the term “play” in the loosest sense of the term. They looked terrible. Ron Prince obviously left NO talent on this team. Had he returned K-State may have been staring at a 2-10 season.
At halftime I decided that a shower would be more entertaining than the game. As I finished, I heard the tell tale gurgle of a stopped up sewer line. We have a problem spot where a two inch line dumps into the four inch main, so I assumed that I had a 10 minute job ahead of me and I’d be subjected to more bad football.
Wrong! The problem was bigger than I anticipated and kept me busy until 10:00. It was a fitting end – K-State playing like crap, and I’m trying to get crap (literally) flowing again. At 10:00 we decided that we would head for Ellsworth so we could sh*t, shave, and shower (again, literally).
We were up early and headed back for church. After church I ate quickly and started digging. 90 minutes later, I found the clean out and rented a sewer snake. Why someone would bury a sewer clean out is unclear – when they’re buried, they’re harder to find...
Kim suggested I call a plumber. What? The king of DIY, call a plumber? Especially when I get to rent a really cool power tool? NEVER!
I removed a wad of roots and made sure water was flowing – checked to see that sh*t was running downhill. All was good. Two hours later, I’m back to square one. I went back and got the sewer snake again, reamed it out again. This time I retrieved a wad or roots and hair and whatever else plugs up sewers that was as big as a baseball. Again I checked for proper flow. Flushed the toilets with more paper than an average person uses in a week, ran water until the ejection pump ejected, and kicked the sump pump on to see that it was not flowing back into the basin. All was good! Again!
I missed most of the football today, but my Cowboys saved a total washout with a victory over the Tampa Bay Bucs. I also managed to stay in both Eliminator games that I’m competing in: Auburn, Illinois, and the Seahawks all won, keeping me eligible for another week. If I lose at that and don’t win the pot, I can always just fall back on my plumbing skills.
D
9.09.2009
Who knew!?!
The True Origins of the Jaywawk
The "jay hawk" was actually the 2nd choice for the University of Kansas' mascot.
The first choice, while also a fictional bird, was more of a nod to the region's evolving biological diversity.
Newly arriving settlers to the Kansas Territories were often amazed at the abundance of what we refer to today as "barn swallows", so much so that the area of what is today east-central Kansas was commonly referred to as "swallow country". As more and more settlers moved to the area, so did their livestock, influencing the overall makeup of the region's animal population. One settler of the time described this integration of the native and domesticated as "a rainbow of diversity, with a flag of waving wheat and the song of the swallow and the crow of the rooster its anthem."
University of Kansas founders were taken by this description of Kansas and thought a representation of this sentiment would be a good emblem for the University. So it was decided that the convergence of the rooster and swallow would from that point on represent the University of Kansas.
They would forever be known as the Kansas Swallowcocks.
Unfortunately, the name wasn't greeted with the enthusiastic acceptance that university founders had hoped. Many inverted the name and called them Cockswallows, or in the native vernacular, "cock swallers". Others became concerned over the origins of the mascot, fearing a literal union of a cock and a swallow had indeed taken place. Still others feared the mascot may be interpreted metaphorically in some way as an abomination to God.
However, the ultimate insult came when it was discovered that the much-celebrated swallows were not swallows at all, but merely common blue jays, a mistake that in retrospect seems absurdly incomprehensible. Despite the obvious mis-identification, raging debates ensued between university founders and the common, uneducated settlers. Fearing alienation and widespread public backlash, university founders backed off their position and conceded that the grandiose swallow upon which they had pinned their identity was, in fact, merely the common blue jay.
In the end, a compromise was agreed upon. At the suggestion of town elders it was decided that a virtual synonym of "swallow cock" would be the official mascot of the university, and the "jayhawk" was adopted.
Even though the modern-era mascot bears little resemblance to the founders' original selection, it still strongly represents their vision for the university and the Lawrence as a whole.
What today is called a jayhawk, is still clearly a rainbow-flag waving, cock-swallowing, beacon of ignorance and ironic arrogance.
-----------------------------------------
Thanks for the history lesson Kevin, you learn something new everyday!
D
The "jay hawk" was actually the 2nd choice for the University of Kansas' mascot.
The first choice, while also a fictional bird, was more of a nod to the region's evolving biological diversity.
Newly arriving settlers to the Kansas Territories were often amazed at the abundance of what we refer to today as "barn swallows", so much so that the area of what is today east-central Kansas was commonly referred to as "swallow country". As more and more settlers moved to the area, so did their livestock, influencing the overall makeup of the region's animal population. One settler of the time described this integration of the native and domesticated as "a rainbow of diversity, with a flag of waving wheat and the song of the swallow and the crow of the rooster its anthem."
University of Kansas founders were taken by this description of Kansas and thought a representation of this sentiment would be a good emblem for the University. So it was decided that the convergence of the rooster and swallow would from that point on represent the University of Kansas.
They would forever be known as the Kansas Swallowcocks.
Unfortunately, the name wasn't greeted with the enthusiastic acceptance that university founders had hoped. Many inverted the name and called them Cockswallows, or in the native vernacular, "cock swallers". Others became concerned over the origins of the mascot, fearing a literal union of a cock and a swallow had indeed taken place. Still others feared the mascot may be interpreted metaphorically in some way as an abomination to God.
However, the ultimate insult came when it was discovered that the much-celebrated swallows were not swallows at all, but merely common blue jays, a mistake that in retrospect seems absurdly incomprehensible. Despite the obvious mis-identification, raging debates ensued between university founders and the common, uneducated settlers. Fearing alienation and widespread public backlash, university founders backed off their position and conceded that the grandiose swallow upon which they had pinned their identity was, in fact, merely the common blue jay.
In the end, a compromise was agreed upon. At the suggestion of town elders it was decided that a virtual synonym of "swallow cock" would be the official mascot of the university, and the "jayhawk" was adopted.
Even though the modern-era mascot bears little resemblance to the founders' original selection, it still strongly represents their vision for the university and the Lawrence as a whole.
What today is called a jayhawk, is still clearly a rainbow-flag waving, cock-swallowing, beacon of ignorance and ironic arrogance.
-----------------------------------------
Thanks for the history lesson Kevin, you learn something new everyday!
D
Keeping up with the Warren's
A Typical Week
A typical week in our house is anything but relaxing. With Kay and JD playing sports, plus midweek, plus school our week goes something like this: Monday: Volleyball, Football, Boy Scouts (After football practice moves to fall hours); Tuesday: Soccer, Football, Baton Twirling, and an occasional church meeting; Wednesday: Midweek meal, Occasional cooking or cleanup after the meal at church, and Kimmie is teaching a midweek class; Thursday: Soccer, Football; Friday: High School Football; Saturday: Volleyball, Soccer, Football, K-State Football;, Sunday: Church and REST!
FOOTBALL!
This past weekend was week one of three seasons. The South High team dismantled Ark City to start their season off with a win. The favor will be returned this Friday when Hutch comes to town. Saturday at 2:00, JD mad his debut as the Salina Eagles quarterback. He led them to a 12-0 victory over the bears. A review of his performance would be that he managed the game. No turnovers. Couple of squirrely hand offs. One bad pitch. And a 1-5 passing performance. One of his incompletions was thrown to the opposite of where the receiver was. JD threw left, Mike was right... He's still learning! From there we went to Manhattan (pronounced Man-ha-in by both of my children). K-State won. That's about all I can say. And that their tackling was light years ahead of where it was last year.
Upcoming Chores
I need to cut firewood, soon. I have to move furniture from our room to Kay's and Kay's to JD's. Kay is giving her desk to JD and Kay is getting Kim's dressing table. I also need to clean the garage before winter. I also need to sand JD's lockers, prime, and paint them. They're going in his room and I'd like to get that done in the next few weeks. In November I may tackle remodeling the bathroom upstairs. I plan on gutting it and starting from the studs and working out!
Into Every Life (or Dodge Truck) a Little Rain Must Fall
Last night, for some reason I have yet to discover, I left the passenger side window of my truck down. Not just cracked, but all the way down. We got 1.25" of rain in Salina last night. I had water standing in the floor board, the seat is soaked, and the door pockets were full! It may be October before it dries out. On the bright side, it cleaned my floor mats for me!
D
A typical week in our house is anything but relaxing. With Kay and JD playing sports, plus midweek, plus school our week goes something like this: Monday: Volleyball, Football, Boy Scouts (After football practice moves to fall hours); Tuesday: Soccer, Football, Baton Twirling, and an occasional church meeting; Wednesday: Midweek meal, Occasional cooking or cleanup after the meal at church, and Kimmie is teaching a midweek class; Thursday: Soccer, Football; Friday: High School Football; Saturday: Volleyball, Soccer, Football, K-State Football;, Sunday: Church and REST!
FOOTBALL!
This past weekend was week one of three seasons. The South High team dismantled Ark City to start their season off with a win. The favor will be returned this Friday when Hutch comes to town. Saturday at 2:00, JD mad his debut as the Salina Eagles quarterback. He led them to a 12-0 victory over the bears. A review of his performance would be that he managed the game. No turnovers. Couple of squirrely hand offs. One bad pitch. And a 1-5 passing performance. One of his incompletions was thrown to the opposite of where the receiver was. JD threw left, Mike was right... He's still learning! From there we went to Manhattan (pronounced Man-ha-in by both of my children). K-State won. That's about all I can say. And that their tackling was light years ahead of where it was last year.
Upcoming Chores
I need to cut firewood, soon. I have to move furniture from our room to Kay's and Kay's to JD's. Kay is giving her desk to JD and Kay is getting Kim's dressing table. I also need to clean the garage before winter. I also need to sand JD's lockers, prime, and paint them. They're going in his room and I'd like to get that done in the next few weeks. In November I may tackle remodeling the bathroom upstairs. I plan on gutting it and starting from the studs and working out!
Into Every Life (or Dodge Truck) a Little Rain Must Fall
Last night, for some reason I have yet to discover, I left the passenger side window of my truck down. Not just cracked, but all the way down. We got 1.25" of rain in Salina last night. I had water standing in the floor board, the seat is soaked, and the door pockets were full! It may be October before it dries out. On the bright side, it cleaned my floor mats for me!
D
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