22 and 15

When I started classes with BYU-I last fall I avoided planning out my college future like the plague. I felt so stressed thinking about years and years of school filled with class after class after class. To alleviate that stress, I ignored it completely. Pretty mature, huh? I finished fall semester and still did not feel strong enough to tackle that mountain. Just as I was finishing winter semester I decided I was ready to see how long it would take to slay this dragon.


I started emailing back and forth with a random employee and never once asked her to audit the classes I took 22 years ago. I honestly didn't realize I needed to ask for that to happen. I thought it was automatic. You know- science for science and English for English. Apparently, that's not how it works. About the third email she sent, she mentioned she took a look at my transcript and the classes I took at Ricks College. She said she put in a request to graduation and just heard back confirming they accepted the substitutions she applied for. Who knew Sociology would fulfill a World Disasters class? Not me, that's for sure. She confirmed it twice to put my mind at ease. Her fabulous news meant ALL of my science classes were fulfilled, clearing at least 9 credits off my 'classes to take' list. What?! I was speechless.

With that information, I found out I only need three more classes to finish my associate's degree. I'm taking two right now (I'll finish this semester mid July) and need one more this fall. I know this might not seem like much to someone else but it was a major boost for me. Instead of December 2016, I will finish this December. I tell you, if it wasn't winter/Christmas time, I'd probably drive my kids to Rexburg and walk for a degree that took me 22 years to earn.

Of course, the actual grad plan is much longer. But, I'm not focusing on that gigantic mountain just yet. This small victory is enough for now.

I wrote this on Instagram on what would have been my 15th wedding anniversary- When it comes to April 20th, I have two choices. Be grateful for the day I married in the temple 15 years ago or cry that my marriage is over. I wont lie, I've done more crying that you might think possible but how could I not be grateful for one of the best decisions I've ever made? My kids are here with me because of that choice and they are my heart and soul.

I've said this on my blog before but it applies here too. The days and trials pass slow but the years move ever so fast. I'm not exactly sure how it happens but before you know it, your kids are almost in high school, you're having another 'milestone' birthday and your baby will soon be four. I know of no other way to describe this phenomenon other than a mixed bag of melancholy, nostalgia and excitement for what lies ahead. Here's to another year, family. Let's make some memories!

Good Stuff

 

:: The last Saturday of March I did the Badger Mountain Challenge 15K again. This year I actually trained and prepared for it. What a difference that makes! I shaved off an 1:06 from my time and didn't want to crawl home afterwards. It was incredibly windy which made for interesting hair, ha. Hiking has been my 'out' this spring and it's helped my mood as much as my speed. I injured my heel when I was training and then again during the race. I've been babying it for over a week now and just when I think it might be better, I'm limping again. I'm afraid I'm going to be moving towards geriatric sandals soon. No more bare feet for me. I sure hope healing comes soon because my mood needs me to get back on the trail.

:: I'm 99% done with this semester and it feels good. I can hardly believe it but I finished with a 4.0. Sure, it was only two classes (with great instructors and a decent work flow) but I'm celebrating anyway. Six more credits down.

:: Back story- Dane and Kathryn ordered new glasses a couple weeks ago. Our vision insurance was never the greatest so we would often shop for glasses at places cheaper than the doctor's office. Dane had a pair he was set on getting from their office so I asked about a program they have that caps the cost at a certain price. Her face was confused a little at my question and said not to worry about it with my insurance. She told me that pediatric glasses were covered 100% every calendar year. What?! I questioned her a little bit and she said, 'Well, it's one of the few benefits we are seeing with the changes brought about by Obamacare. Glasses for kids under 18 are free.' Totally stunned, I told the kids to pick what ever glasses they wanted. At least there's one benefit, right? I told my mom and a couple other people this story because this. is. news. Free glasses for three kids!

He loves his new specs

We picked up their new glasses last Friday after we came home from Idaho. Last night I was cooking dinner and Dane told me a kid at school was teasing him about getting new glasses. Their conversation went something like this-

Mean kid in a taunting voice, 'You got new glasses. Where did you get those? From your mom?'
Dane responded, 'No. From the eye glasses place, actually'
Mean kid- 'Ohhhhhh, did your mommy buy them?'
Dane- 'No, actually Obamacare did.'

Haha. What a good laugh that gave me. Obviously, Dane has heard me tell the fabulous story about our free glasses. I have to say, his quick wit wins again. Thankfully he recognized what a silly insult it was but still it reminded me kids can be cruel.

:: We spent a few days in Idaho last week during spring break. Richard and Jeni are so generous to let us come and stay with them for a few days. We total 9 kids. That's a lot of mouths to feed. The biggest victory of the week was no fighting amongst the kids. And that's including the two 3 year old boys. We shot guns (a first for most of us, including me), rode their go karts, watched movies, ate donuts and had the best time. Reentry into a schedule was pretty rough yesterday.

Kat is sporting her new contacts. Too grown up, that girl.

:: It was Easter Weekend which also happened to be General Conference. I love when they end up together. Most of my kids do really well watching all four sessions of Conference. Reed would watch more but Owen begs to play with him so he gets excused to the other room often. I heard many messages of families and the sanctity of marriage. The importance of true conversion and coming unto Christ. Some of my favorite messages to ponder on. I needed so much of what I heard. Between the Saturday sessions of conference we went for a hike. We didn't make it too far. I couldn't decide which was more annoying- my heel that I thought was better enough to hike on or Owen. He wants to go all the time and then when we take him, he cries about it. What can I say, he's three.

:: My goal for the two week break off school is to dejunk, dejunk, dejunk. It's a pretty lofty goal because I let the deep organizing go completely when I started school last fall. And coming totally clean, it's not something I excel at anyway. The big boys were lucky enough to draw the short straw and I started in their room on Saturday. Two bulging garbage sack later and their room is livable. With one goal in mind, I'm taking on every single room. Less is more, less is more.

My Teachers

I have a post welcoming 2015 (over 80 days late) in the works but I didn't want to forget a couple conversations I had with my younger boys this week.

Owen is my earliest riser, by far. It's not unusual for him to be up by 5:30/5:45 begging for oatmeal or french toast. Most of the time he's impatient and does his best to get me out of bed right away. I dread it as I am nothing close to a 5:30 type mom. A couple times a week he will give me a 6:00/6:15 gift and rarely a gift closer to 7am. That is a dreamy morning, ha. This was Sunday morning, he slept until 7 and was soooo happy. If only he'd listen to reason and realize how much happier he is with a few more zzzz's. Sigh. Maybe when he's older.

A couple days ago he came in happy even though it was early. He jumped up into my bed and said he wanted to snuggle. He laid next to me content to wait on breakfast. This is the conversation we had-

Me: You are so happy this morning. Did you sleep good?
O: Yeah! I'm Happy.
Me: What did you dream about? (I never ask him this question because he usually doesn't answer me)
O (in the happiest voice and with much feeling): Jesus Christ!

Isn't that just the sweetest? I have no idea what he dreamed about but it certainly could have been about his Savior. His nightly lullaby is I Stand All Amazed. He never wants me to sing anything else. He knows all the words to the first two verses and will correct me if I sing the wrong words (or try to skip a few lines). I'm so grateful for the lessons he teaches me. I have so, so much to learn.

Last night Reed asked if he could have a mom date and go get frozen yogurt with a gift card we had. I said no and then decided it wasn't a big deal to drive over and get some. We dropped the big kids off at scouts and YW and drove over there. On the way I started asking Owen questions. Me: Who is mommy's mom? O: Grandma DeeAnn. Me: Who is daddy's mom? O: Granmimi.

A few minutes later, Reed asked me who was his daddy's dad. I reminded him that it was Grandpa Ken and that he had died. He asked if he died before he was born. I said yes, he died before you were born. I had been watching him in the rear view mirror and his face was thinking the whole time we were talking. When I had told him he died before he was born his face fell a little. Then a couple seconds later he looked up, smiled big and said in the happiest voice, 'It's a good thing we resurrect, then!' Yes buddy, it is a really good thing.

 

I Know That My Reedemer Lives (Hymn #136) has been a popular hymn at church lately. It's been used a couple times in the past month. I love singing this song because it strongly testifies of Christ and the many ways He is there for us. One of the times we sang this song, I felt so much love when I read the words of the second verse. It taught me (again) that He is always aware of me.

He lives to grant me rich supply. He lives to guide me with his eye.

He lives to comfort me when faint. He lives to hear my soul's complaint.

He lives to silence all my fears. He lives to wipe away my tears. 

He lives to calm my troubled hear. He lives all blessings to impart. 

Comfort me when faint? Check. Hear my soul's complaint? Check, check, double check.

Silence all my fears? Check x's 10. Wipe away my tears? Check. Every. single. time.

Calm my troubled heart? Always a check. All blessings to impart? Check with more checks to come.

Life is good. Don't get me wrong, it's hard too. Sometimes really hard. But, then I have reminders like these that it's really, really good.

Up On the Housetop

My grandma calls to talk often during the day (Hi Grandma!). Last week she called and asked if I knew the verses to the Christmas song Up on the Housetop. She kept trying to figure out one of the verses to no avail. While we were on the phone, we talked (and sang) it out to remember Little Nell and Little Will. Then she told me she had written a verse for Owen when she couldn't think of the original ones. A very cute verse, I might add. I teased her she had plenty of time on her hands and should write all of the other kids a verse too. She hemmed and hawed but she's pretty easy to convince because in the end, she did it!

Last night, we went for a short visit and sang Christmas carols. After we finished singing, she surprised them with their own personal verse to Up On the Housetop. They had the cutest smiles on their faces while she sang to them (why did I not take a picture?!). She even surprised me with a verse, which my kids think is quite hilarious. She did a great job. We love it, Grandma. Thank you!

                                                    (Use a little creativity to fit all the syllables to the tune.)

Then comes the stocking of Kathryn dear,

Oh dear Santa, lend me your ear.

Give her a wardrobe from head to shoe
And anything else from you will do.

Next is the biggest brother Nate

Oh dear Santa, don't be late.

Give him a basketball and sneakers to boot,
Then he can run and throw it in a hoop.

Then comes Dane who is number three,

Oh dear Santa, he is good so you see.

Give him a plane that flies so high

And lots of things for this special guy.

Reed is a big boy now you know

Oh dear Santa, don't be slow.
Give him a water slide to play on the lawn
So he'll be busy all day long.

Last of all there is little Owen

Oh dear Santa, how he's grown.
Give him a train that makes a noise

And also lots of big boys toys.

Melanie is the mom of these five
What a wonder she's still alive.

Oh dear, Santa help her with needs
To raise these special little seeds.

P.S. Now Reed wants a 20 ft water slide to keep him busy all. day. long.

Five for Friday

 1. The 16-17 year old youth at church brought us a big fruit basket and sang carols to us one night this week. The basket also had a personal treat for each person. Owen's treat was fruit snacks and he was overjoyed! Reed has found a love for kiwis and I've had grapefruit for breakfast. Fruit baskets are good.

 2. My mom has been baking and making candy like a mad woman. Sweet chex mix, white chocolate popcorn, orange cranberry bread, caramels and more. She brought most of her big bounty over for me to hand out to friends as a thank you for all they do for our family. She knew I didn't have time to bake while finishing the semester so she took that on without being asked. She has enjoyed all the hilarious comments on Facebook about how much energy she has and how many strangers she's feeding treats too. She's also folded more of our laundry this December than ever before. Moms are good for so many things and helping with goody deliveries and folded clothes have helped lift the load around here. Thanks mom!

 3. The little boys had a Christmas program today. Does this gym give you anxiety or what? Both my boys found where I was sitting with Owen but I couldn't find them (oh the shame) buried on the gym floor. They sang cute songs and had an entirely crazy day. Reed ate a cookie almost as big as a dinner plate and Dane drank four pops (take that healthy school eating ha!). Let Christmas break begin.

 Reed's first grade class won the art class award and he was so proud to pose next to his teacher. Owen and I helped in his class one day this week. By the time we left, Owen thought he was a first grader. He used the drinking fountain, helped himself to the library of books and even lined up for lunch. Not yet buddy, not yet.

 4. This girl. She had a reason to show some Christmas spirit today and she did not hold back. She came downstairs dressed as a Christmas tree. Never would I have done that at 14 (or any age really). I love her confidence and sense of self. Her only disappointment was she used a dead strand of lights. I doubt she makes that mistake next time.

5. I lost another crock pot tonight after dinner. I couldn't decide which held a sadder fate for me. The broken crock pot or the good leftovers still inside. There goes tomorrow's lunch.

That's a Wrap

 Of course, I don't mean that's a wrap when it comes to presents. I haven't wrapped one of those yet....

I'm wrapping up fall semester. I finished my math class last week with a B+ (I'm a solid 87% now with 99% complete, ha). I finished early because I chose not to take the final. I would not have been able to get above a B+ no matter what grade I earned on that last exam. I decided a low B+ was just as good as a high B+ and lifted the stress of more studying. This has been a difficult class and I've had help from all over the place (thank you x's 100, Sheri!). 'Math for the Real World' translates into a semesters worth of story problems and exactly no math for the real world. It feels so good to be finished, low B+ and all. Moving onto English and Humanities.

 We wrapped up our gingerbread house tradition. My friend Dawn and I have this down to a fairly calm science. I used hot glue on the houses, she had candy galore and the mess was minimal. We even had some time to catch up while they loaded up on sugar. We drove to see Christmas lights after building houses so they were good and over the sugar high once we came back home.

 Our old stake had a Community Nativity Display that I really wanted to see. They did it years ago and it was something I always looked forward to attending. Last minute I decided to drive up with the kids and even convinced our friends to join us. It was incredibly beautiful and quite evident that countless hours went into the planning and pulling off such an event. There were over 300 nativities displayed from all over the world.

Shhhh. Don't tell the Stake Relief Society President you saw this picture. The storefront Baby Jesus was supposed to be off limits but Owen just helped himself like they were long lost friends. Oops. So glad I snapped the picture before we were lovingly told this was a no-no. Totally worth stressing that hostess out. Look at his cute face.

There was a room full of costumes and an amazing photo booth set up as well. This might be my favorite photo that we've taken in a long, long time. It took some convincing so I'm glad these boys eventually played along. The older boys were very hesitant to dress up and Owen didn't want to wear a robe at all. The crook finally drew him in and then he cried when he had to give the crook back. Three year old life is rough. You can probably guess it took no convincing that angel in the back. She suggested I wear the pink and she wear the white. After they emailed me the photo I could not stop smiling because that girl makes me laugh. She pulled out that angel pose all on her own. She's definitely one of the angels in my life.

We drove home and went straight to our ward Christmas party. We sat by the Smiths and thankfully, Fletcher played with Owen for quite some time. He was getting restless after such a long day. When the primary kids went up to sing, he went right up with them and sat on the front row. It pulled at my heartstrings a little bit. He's a big boy and will be going into Primary in just a couple weeks. It all happens so fast, it's hard to believe. When the red suited man came into the room, he threw both hands in the air and yelled, 'Santa' (ala Elf). Ahhh, he'll be little a while longer and I'm so glad.

Comedy of Errors and a Few More

 Every year the kids beg to put up Christmas lights and every year I put them off. Lights have been way off my radar but it seems this year I was feeling very festive and told them we could put some up on the house. The looks on their faces convinced me lights should stay on my holiday to-do list. We borrowed my neighbor's ladder and went to work.

We have an outlet close to the eave of the house that is controlled by a light switch in the garage. No problem I thought. A few lights along our easy to reach low roof line, plugged into that outlet will equal some happy kids. Nathan and I took turns using the staple gun, while Kathryn and Dane untangled lights and watched the little boys. We covered both posts, the front of the house, over the garage with only a few feet left to the outlet when it hit me. We finished with the wrong end of the cord to plug in!! I can't make this comedy of errors up. Nathan and I just stared at each other with a look that said, 'Really, now what?!' I knew we couldn't take them all down and start over. It was getting dark and if they came down, they weren't going back up. So digging deep like any desperate person would do, I strung extension cords around the front porch so the lights would still work. It might not be too classy but it worked. They love the lights and so do I. We made a memory we wont soon forget, that's for sure.

Kate, Preson, Lindsey and Chelsea

 Kyle and Heidi came over and hung out the day after Thanksgiving. I was so glad to have some company. I was feeling like our holiday had been too quiet and was missing the bustle of a big family gathering. Nine kids quickly fixed that! We ate, played games for a few hours and had a great time. I told them Aunt Melanie wanted some pictures and they each appeased me with a selfie. Chelsea making her double chin was cracking us up (she purposely made one for every shot). I love being their aunt!

 We have the worst wind storms here. The day after Thanksgiving the wind was terrible. I kept hearing noises on the roof that left me knowing we were going to lose some shingles. And we did. A friend was here fixing some broken shelves when the kids found the flying shingles. He looked at the shingle and was certain he had the same color/brand/type on his house. On Monday he called and said he took the afternoon off and he'd be here in an hour to fix the roof. He and his wife showed up and fixed my roof with the shingles they already had from their garage. It was a cold 27 degrees. I cried when they left because of the good, good people the Lord has put in my path. It seriously humbles me. They fix shelves and fertilize my lawn. They babysit and build fences. They share food and help me finish homework. They fix my car and roof. They never leave me feeling like I'm a burden in their life. I am incredibly grateful.

Here's a 'Throwback Thursday' from a few years back.

We finished setting up Christmas tonight and Nathan found this photo buried in the bottom of a Christmas box. I haven't seen this photo in years. It was taken in 2002, Nathan had just turned 1. I don't know, maybe it's weird to post an old photo with Milo in it. But then again, maybe it's not because this was my life 12 years ago. Since I'm posting it, I guess I decided it wasn't weird. Only one little boy ruled our roost when this was taken, it was still the beginning of our story. We were much younger and the kids also pointed out skinnier too (ha!). It has taken many months, years even, for me to be able to look back and not come undone with what I thought was 'to be'. Finding this felt like another turning point for me. I was happy to remember who we were, what we looked like, where this was taken and who took it without crying for those years to come back. I didn't look dwell on it either or there may have been a different outcome. No matter how slow and at times painful the process has been, I'll take the progress I've made in the past year. And changing subjects, isn't that fleece coat on Nathan just the cutest thing?