This was an activity on facebook where for 24 hours anyone could ask me any question and I had to be honest with my answer. Here are the questions and the answers ....
Q: How are you feeling as July 17th approaches? :)
A: Not as freaked out as I think I will be come January/February. We've pretty much got everything that we can get done...done. Just have to figure out centerpieces for the reception. I'm pretty good at planning events, plus I have a great book to guide me.
Q: when did you know your were gay?
A: Funny how I've gotten that question a couple of times today. Hmmmmm.
I started to be more aware of my same sex tendencies during middle school and high school. I didn't know what it was, but I knew it was different from what my other friends were experiencing. In addition, I was raised Southern Baptist, so I had a few issues to deal with as the Southern Baptist Convention isn't too keen on the "ho-mo-sexuls".
In classic form, I did have a huge crush on the captain of the football team. He's been my "type" all my life. sigh..... If only he were on facebook.
I came out to myself my senior year in college and then began to come out to friends and family during grad school. I'm happy to say that my family has been supportive of my life and love Matt.
Q: In college or grad school, did you have a secret crush(es) on anyone(s) we both knew and if so, who?
A: What an awesome question... OF COURSE I had a secret crush in college. Actually I had a few. The remainder of this answer has been redacted to protect the innocent.
Q: What's the most embarrassing question you've had to answer as part of this endeavor?
A: See previous question. :-)
Q: do you actually like teaching and why?
A; I do really enjoy the actual teaching part of the job. I love the feeling I get when a student understands a concept for the first time. I love the laughter that I experience when my students and I engage in the silliest conversations. I love working with my coworkers and sharing war stories. I love being able to share Washington D.C. with my students.
What I don't enjoy are the hoops that I have to jump through to satisfy the state for various things. I also wish people would understand that classrooms are a real world setting and not the idealized places that are often referred to by "experts". Guess what, we have kids with ADD, ADHD, students who come to school hungry, sleep deprived or burdened with having to help raise their brothers and sisters. We are juggling 20 things all at once. Ok, enough venting about that.
But overall I do enjoy my job. Sure there are days when I really don't wanna get out of bed, but I do and once the day starts, everything seems to get better. :-)
Q: Okay, if you could do anything on earth today without any negative repurcussions, regardless of money, distance, or any other limiting factor, what would you do?
A: Hmmm, this is a challenging one. I would love to travel to see the great monuments of the world (Great Wall, Machu Pichu, Angkor Wat, etc).
If it were a job, well the obvious choice for me would to be a police officer. Again, the coolest job that I don't have the intestinal fortitude for. But a boy can dream. :-)
Q: OK, really a two part! How did you meet Matt and define "engaged" since our government has yet to allow you your right to marry? Have a great rest of the week!!
A: Matt and I met the old fashioned way ---- newspaper personal ad. LOL I had just moved to Iowa City from Tallahassee and put an ad in the local independent newspaper. He answered, we chatted on the phone, met for dinner a few days later, and have been together ever since. :-)
We are officially engaged as Iowa does allow same-sex couples to marry. We have a progressive Supreme Court (7-0 decision) and it is very difficult to amend the state constitution!
Q: When did you decide you were gay and how did it happen?
A: For me being gay has never been a choice, it's just simply who I am. It wasn't an issue of one morning waking up and thinking, "hey, I think I'll like guys." I think as one grows up, they just become aware of what they are attracted to. I know there are people who believe that being gay is a choice, and I respect that belief. But I do ask them, "when did you decide that you were straight" or "if it were a choice, why would I decide to be something that carries such a stigma." The second question I don't use too often now-a-days.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Ain't it funny how a melody....
can bring back a memory.
My friend Heather, a very successful professional basketball player, sent in a few requests to Matt's radio show. One of the songs, "Right Here Waiting" by Richard Marx, took me back to the summer after I graduated high school.
In the summer of 89 I met a girl named Florence. She was a foreign exchange student from Dijon, France and we hit it off. Of course I hadn't begun to deal with you know, being gay, but that wouldn't come for a few years. Anyhoo, Florence and I spent a lot of time together and I developed feelings for her.
When Florence went back home, "Right Here Waiting" had just been released and every time I heard it I thought about her. To this day, when I hear the song I go back to that summer and the fun we had.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Reality
I started sending out "save the date" magnets for the wedding next summer. As I dropped the envelopes into the mailbox it dawned on me that this is going to become a reality. In less than a year Matt and I will be legally wed. Over the past few weeks I've been making arrangements for the ceremony (the hotel, save-the-date magnets, centerpiece stuff, wedding party) and it really hadn't sunk in until I dropped the magnets in the mail.
My biggest challenge is yet to come. At some point in the next few weeks I will officially come out at school. I've been in my current position for 8 years now and I'm a respected member of the faculty. I have a feeling that coming out isn't going to be a shock to a lot of people. Almost all the faculty and staff members in my building know and I have to think that it's pretty well known among the students (they never ask if I'm dating anyone). I guess the thing that I'm worried about is any parents who will be like villagers at the castle wall with pitchforks and torches.
The wedding is the reason I'm coming out to my kids. A few of our staff members have kids in the district, and when the save the date magnets go out, I can imagine that the kids will talk. I'm fortunate in that my boss is supportive of me 100%. We're going to meet with our district superintendent to plan my "outing". My goal is to be proactive with this because in our district rumors can spread very quickly.
School starts in less than two weeks. ACK!
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Good Clean Fun
The last time I watched a soap opera on a regular basis was way back in college when I was hooked on "All My Children" and "Days of Our Lives". I gave em up when I actually had to get a job and plus there was that whole "Marlena gets possessed by the Devil" storyline.
There have been gay storylines on daytime soaps for quite some time. I never got into them because they simply weren't interesting to me, then came "One Life To Live". Last week I discovered the story of Kyle and Oliver that is currently playing out on the show. Oliver is a closeted member of the Llanview Police and Kyle is the guy that he had a relationship with in college, who is now back in his life. Over the past few months Oliver has struggled with his sexuality (and his relationship with "girlfriend" Layla). Things finally came to a head on this past Friday's show when Kyle kissed Oliver.
Any of my friends can testify that I have a HUGE weakness for cops, so this story arc really appeals to me. I can also relate to what the character is going through in his coming out process. In addition, the actor who plays Oliver, Scott Evans, is an openly gay actor. He also happens to be the younger brother of Chris Evans.
Of course now this means that I'm going to be taping OLTL every day to follow the story. Oh why does school have to start in a week and a half!
Monday, August 3, 2009
Me as Mad Men
I love, love, love, love the show "Mad Men". In preparation for Season 3 (premiering August 19th on AMC), amctv.com allows you to create yourself as a "Mad Men" character. So of course, I was in. It actually came out pretty good, even Matt agreed that it looked like me.
Feel free to create your own at MadMenYourself.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Rainy Days and Fridays?
I'm in a funk today for some reason. I felt it coming on last night and it's just hung around today. I went to meet Andy to workout this morning. He was running late and so I just walked around the track. After 15 minutes of walking, I decided to head on home. I just wasn't feeling it today.
I don't know how best to describe how I'm feeling. It's like there is a pit in my chest and everything is being pulled into it, almost a hollow sensation.
We're going to an Iowa Cubs game tonight with friends. I'm hoping that will help cheer me up.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?
I DO! I DO!!!!
So it was a busy weekend of trivia (and travel).
On Friday, Matt and I were in Kansas City. By passing an online test, Matt had been invited down to audition for Jeopardy! He was nervous to try out and I was nervous to wait 2 hours in the hotel lobby for him. For his audition he took another 50 question test, interviewed with the contestant coordinators and then played a mock version of the game. Following the audition, Matt wasn't sure about how he did on the test, but felt very good about the interview and game play. He's now in the contestant pool for the next 18 months. He could be called any time between now and December 2010! When I auditioned, it was only 6 weeks before I was called to be on the show. So our fingers are crossed.
Yesterday, my friend Pete and I returned to Kansas City to audition for "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire". We showed up at 6:30 in the morning at the Ameristar Casino to take the Millionaire test. There were 375 people in our testing group. We had to take a 30 question, multiple choice test that covered a lot of different topics. They also had us take a 30 question movie test for the Millionaire Movie Week.
Those of us that passed either test were then scheduled for interviews in the afternoon. I passed both tests and Pete passed the main test. There were two levels of interviews. The first one involved talking to one of three contestant coordinators. If they liked you, then you were sent on to the video interview. Pete and I both got to the video interview. Woohoo! We'll find out in 2 to 3 weeks if we will be placed in the contestant pool.
I think Pete has a really good shot at making it. From what he told me the interviewers loved him. I was asked a lot about being engaged. They are doing an engaged couples week on Millionaire and it wouldn't surprise me if they asked me and Matt to be on together. Again, crossing my fingers.
So that was my weekend. This morning it was back to the gym for a workout with Andy and then physical therapy on my left leg. Tomorrow it's spinning class! yeah!
Sunday, June 21, 2009
The Proposal
Last night we went to see "The Proposal" and LOVED IT! The movie is that rare romantic-comedy where you actually believe the relationship between the leads. Both Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds are sincere and funny as book editor and assistant who make an arrangement to get married so that Bullock's Canadian character can stay in the U.S.. The movie should really be a boost to Reynolds career (and he's absolutely adoreable!). The real treat in the movie is Betty White. She plays Reynolds' grandmother and is an absolute hoot!Wednesday, June 17, 2009
The Ugly Truth
Matt and I have about 13 months until we get married. I've made it a goal to be in better shape by July 2010. For the past few weeks I've been going over to the Lied Rec Center at Iowa State to workout with my friend Andy. Later this week we are going to set formal goals for each of us to shoot for.
Yesterday I had a small mole on my back removed and today I needed to remove the bandages that the doctor had applied. The mole was on a part of my back that was very difficult to reach and it took me a while to get the bandage off. In the course of twisting like a pretzel to remove the bandage, I had the opportunity to really look at my body. I didn't like what I saw.
I've been overweight my entire adult life. I realized that when we look at ourselves in the mirror, that we have have our own perspective and don't really see how they look. Today I saw how overweight I am. Over the next couple of days I'll be setting goals for myself for how I want my body to look like in one year.
I've heard that if you repeat an activity every day for 2 to 3 weeks that it becomes habit. My first goal is to get my ass to Lied each morning to at least do cardio. I want to keep doing that when school starts so that I get exercise before I go to school each morning.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
A reminder of the day that changed my life
I went to the new Fareway grocery store tonight in north Ames. It's much closer than the downtown store and a lot nicer. As I was leaving the store, one look and one breath took me back 14 years in my life. I was taken back to a moment from which everything I have felt and experienced since has been built upon.
I was living in Tallahassee at the time and working as an assistant manager at a Sam Goody music store. Our store was on the second floor and to take the trash out we had to walk down a long exterior balcony to the trash shoot. One afternoon I had taken the trash out and was just standing on the balcony looking out over the forest area that surrounded the mall. It was early spring, the trees were a bright green (it was the south, they are ALWAYS green) and the humidity in the air was low.
Having graduated from Florida State the previous summer and not knowing what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, I knew I needed to make a change. On that balcony I just had a feeling that I was going to be going to somewhere in the midwest. At the time I thought I'd be moving to somewhere in Kansas (don't ask me why).
A few weeks later my best friend from college called and asked me if I wanted to move up to Iowa with him and his fiance (her parents wouldn't let them live together and he needed a roommate). It's a move I have never regretted. I met the love of my life and have never been happier.
Tonight at Fareway, as I looked out I saw the trees and felt the air and was taken back to that day in Tallahassee when I knew I was meant to be in the midwest. Gotta love sense memory.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Long Time no Post
It's been a while since I've posted. School has been crazy busy and I just didn't feel like I had anything to post of any interest. Plus I was just lazy.
So today is my first official day of summer vacation. I have 84 days between now and when we go back to work in August. The weather couldn't be better. It's a bright, sunny day with temps in the low 70s. I'm getting out on my bike later on today!
So the big news over the past couple of months is that Matt and I are officially engaged. On April 3rd the Iowa Supreme Court ruled that same sex couples had the right to be married. Because the constitutional amendment process in Iowa is long, we decided to set our wedding date for July 17, 2010. Our commitment anniversary is July 12th and we wanted to get as close to that date as possible. In addition, this allows our family and friends who live around the country to make travel plans to be with us for the event.
I'll be blogging a lot more about the big event as the year goes on. I never realized how much planning goes into a simple wedding. I'm very glad we've got 12 months to get everything done.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Job Realities
I've taught at the same school for the past eight years. In fact, it's the only school I have every taught and I subbed for three years before being hired as a full time instructor. The district is small, and has been declining in enrollment for a number of years. There have been times I have thought about moving on primarily because a move to a larger district would mean one thing - more moolah!
I was thinking about this tonight because I took part in a program at Iowa State where math teachers are able to get together, solve math problems and exchange ideas. It really got me thinking about what it would be like to teach in a different district. The new challenges and the ability to work with other teachers who teach the same subject I do.
But with the possibility of more resources (and a bigger paycheck), closer work, etc, there is the flip side of the coin. I love where I teach. I work with wonderful coworkers, a great principal, and students and parents that I am familiar with (and who are familiar with me). I know the rules and how flexible they are. Would I want to give those things up for a larger salary? And what if the job situation wasn't the same as where I'm at now?
The more I've thought about it, the more I'm content to stay where I am. Sure, the pay isn't great and the thought of our district merging with another is always hanging over us every year. I'm happy where I am and for right now, that's good enough. Maybe in the future I'll look to move on, but for now, I'm home.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Let it snow, let it snow, LET IT STOP!!!!!!
It's snowing in Ames ... again. It's getting to the point now where we don't have anywhere to put the snow when we shovel the driveway. Over the past 5 days we've had about a foot of snow fall. Yesterday we had an early out of school and this morning there was a two-hour delay. with the snow falling tonight and wind forecast for tomorrow, I'm guessing we may not have school at all tomorrow.
It's not that I have a problem with having a snow day or two (I enjoy sleeping in). To be honest, I'm just sick of shoveling. Yesterday we got 4 inches of snowfall and I spent about an hour taking care of the driveway. I had just finished shoveling the part of the drive that meets the street. Wouldn't you know it, as soon as I finished, the city's snowplows can along to fill it back in. UGH! Oh to be back in Hawaii again.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
New Year's Commitment
A study by the National Institutes of Health found that on average most Americans gain 0.8 pounds over the holidays. I must have misread it. I moved the decimal point one place to the right and gained a whopping 8 pounds over the holidays. I knew it was happening as my jeans just felt tighter around the waist.
There are a multitude of excuses that I could use "place blame" - the after-school program I ran, basketball, traveling over the holidays and even the fact that it's just simply COLD. But in the end I have no one to look at but myself. No one was making me eat the oh so tasty food or holding me down to prevent me from working out. Truth be told, I was just unmotivated.
Now that the weight is back for a return appearance (it's like Cher's farewell tour... it never ended!), instead of making a New Year's Resolution, I'm making a New Year's Commitment. With a little help from my friend Drew in Massachusetts, I've set a couple of goals.
January 1st
Weight - 228 pounds
Body Fat - 33.5%
Short term goal - By February 1st be at 31.5% body fat
Long term goal - By January 1st, 2010 to be at 18% body fat.
I'm going to have Matt take some measurements for me in the next couple of days so that I'll have a baseline and give me some direction to where I want to go.
I went to Lied this afternoon to workout and it did feel good. I just need to keep telling myself that this is not a sprint, but a marathon.
I'd be very open to any comments, suggestions or places where I can buy miracle weight loss pills!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)