Twist ending!

While we were in California, I ended up spending a lot of time during the day watching HGTV.  They have so many shows that feature expert designer type people coming in to somebody's house and saying, "This room is ugly and boring.  But we can fix it and make it awesome and cool using paint and this piece of junk we found at a thrift store."

After a bit I got pretty jealous.  My house has PLENTY of boring parts to it, so why doesn't a TV show come and make it professionally gorgeous for me?  But I can be rational, and I realize that this won't happen (...probably). So instead I am making my own plans to beautify my house.

Mostly, that involves repainting the rooms.  Every. single. last. one of them.  It will take a huge amount of effort.  So huge that I am considering importing relatives.  But I will see that it actually does happen.  However, we won't be able to get started until it's a little warmer outside, so all of my huge changes will have to wait.

Almost all of them, anyway.  Because we can't paint our house yet, I did something else drastic.

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         V

    Ta da!

Ha ha, every time I go get a haircut I have the stylist cut off like seven inches.  Well, apparently I won't be able to do that again for a while because even if I had her shave my head there aren't seven inches there!  Also, I won't have her shave my head.

Saturday Sweat Log: Late night, lame-o edition

Not a whole lot of genuine exercising went on this week.  I ran 3.5 miles on Monday...and that's it.  My other regular workout days I was either driving home to Utah or else not willing to go outside because I DID make it back to Utah and it is cold outside. Snow, snow cold. (Yes, that was a lame attempt at a pun.  Re-read the title.)

 However, I did do a lot of sweating when Matt and I found a 6,000 pound treadmill waiting in our garage and decided to move it down to the basement.  It was left for us by the Costco fairy!  I haven't gotten to run on it yet, but I have high hopes.  I will report on that next week.

We went to Ikea today, which is also not technically exercise, but have you ever BEEN there?  There is a LOT of walking, and if you are doing things right, probably some heavy lifting at the end.  Also 99 cent breakfasts of bacon, eggs, and potatoes.  Basically it is a magical place.

Tangentially, does anybody know how to make the "cent" sign?  I feel stupid for having to spell it out, although at least I spelled it correctly.

In which I apparently have a lot to say.

So I am le back.  In Utah, that is.

HA HA HA, I'm home!  Goodness griefous, I am so excited to see my house again.  Matt and I were setting the table for dinner and I kept thinking, "Wow, we have really nice silverware!  Man I love our plates!  Can you BELIEVE that our table is such a normal height?"  I just wanted to hug the floor.

Of course, after almost two months I can't remember where to put anything, so unpacking is an adventure.  If I just put myself on autopilot, my body remembers where the bibs go and where to find plastic bags, but if I put any amount of thought into it I end up bungling around in the towel drawer trying to find a spoon...

I am getting ahead of myself here.  I haven't said ANYTHING about how we got back to the wonderful state of Utah.  So now I guess I will do that.

We left California on Wednesday, just before noon.  I had hoped to leave early in the morning, but one of the members of our party bought an honest-to-goodness airplane to bring home.  We Edwardses were driving the van back, the Zauggs were driving the truck, and the airplane-buyer was flying an airplane back.  But not the one he bought, because that one doesn't fly, or actually work in any way whatsoever.  So instead there was a whole lot of finagling involved to make it fit on the back of a trailer, and the Zauggs were going to use their truck to haul it home.  Oh joy!

The plan was for the Zauggs to drive straight through to St. George (where they have family) while Matt and I would stop somewhere in Nevada for the night.  We did not make hotel reservations, because we did not know just where we would be when we felt like stopping, and we (somewhat erroneously) figured that it was March, and a Wednesday, so how busy could these hotel/casinos really be?

We got turned down on our first attempt; apparently Whiskey Pete's is no longer a functioning hotel.  They didn't have a sign out or anything, but our first clue should have been the absolutely deserted parking lot.  We are too optimistic; "We get to park really close AND their rooms are probably really cheap!"  Ha ha, no...

On our second try, while we waited in line we got to watch all the people having a marvelous time on the penny slot machines.  I did not see anybody smiling, but I did see an older fellow with a cigar and it occurs to me that that may have been the first time in my life that I have actually seen that.  So at least there was that, because this place had not a single room available.

I was beginning to feel a bit Biblical at this point, even though I am not nine months pregnant.  But the third time apparently IS the charm, because they let us have a room and there were not even any farm animals.  So woohoo for that.

Today (the Thursday) was the second leg of our trip, and it was great.  We were on the road before eight and stopped often enough that Izzy did not die in the car.  We made it home by 4:00, and I did a dance on the lawn while Izzy pet an accommodating neighbor dog.

The Zauggs were not as fortunate.  They left St. George in the afternoon, made it just outside of the city, and then the trailer hauling the airplane got a flat tire.  We were too far ahead to turn back and help, and it was several hours before they could get back on their way.  I felt terrible about this, but secretly (and now publicly) I am glad it was not us.

In any case we are all home now and I AM SOOOOOOO HAPPY.  Words cannot express, even though that is what they are supposed to do.

Saturday Sweat Log: Tarzan can do anything

When I went running a few weeks ago I found a dollar.  So sometimes it literally pays to go slow, guys!  Although, a dollar is not a whole lot of money to get for the amount of effort I put in.  Going slow is also a good way to avoid stepping on all the little snails who apparently have great need to get from one side of the sidewalk to the other.  It's like running through a mine field, only if I misstep I'm not the one who dies.

This week I did not want to go running.  At all.  That interval training last week left me sore all over my whole body until at least Wednesday.  I wanted to sit inside in my comfortable exercise clothes eating Lofthouse pink frosted cookies while watching Netflix and doing puzzles.

One day I got ready to go and made it all the way to the door only to find out that the dead bolt was locked.  Inside I was thinking, "Well, I tried.  This is an obvious sign that I should stay inside and finish reading about Tarzan."  But deeper than that I was thinking, "Don't be laaaaaame!  Tarzan wouldn't let a locked door stop him from going running and killing a lion!"  So I listened to my deeper thoughts and did the Tarzan thing, and it was pretty okay I guess.  I did not kill any lions.

I did about 7 1/2 miles this week.  I read one Tarzan book.

Morning Conversations

Me: Okay, I'm gonna go take a shower now, and when I come back I expect a nice, hot breakfast.

Matt:  You want me to microwave some cereal?

Holidays and Links aplenty!

Apparently this is a big week for holidays.  Or if not holidays, at least days of note.

For example, Monday was Pi Day.  That's sort of a mathematician's slash pie eater's dream come true.  I know a couple of those guys.  Anyway, we celebrated mostly by anticipating the pie eating (chicken pot pie for dinner, cherry pie for dessert) because BELIEVE ME it takes a lot more effort to spend the whole day actually eating pie and quoting pi to the the fifth decimal point.

Tuesday the 15th was the Ides of March.  This is a day best spent 'waring things.  So we did, and nobody was stabbed to death.  Yay!

I was going to say that today was kind of a holiday oasis while we waited for St. Patrick's Day tomorrow, but it turns out it is actually National Artichoke Hearts Day.  I just found this out using the magical thing that is the internet (words go in, words come out!).  I may have to rethink my favorite holidays, and I will definitely have to rethink dinner.

Tomorrow (as previously mentioned) is St. Patrick's Day.  And since I'm a Mormon, I will be celebrating by eating corned beef and cabbage, perhaps drinking some green milk (and NOT by getting drunk and kissing random people until I throw up and can't do either of those things anymore).  Sounds like a party to me!

And after all these things it is FRIDAY.  Ah, the anticipation!

Saturday Sweat Log: The shiv was probably hidden in cake.

Well, this week I only did about 5.5 miles.  Something feels weird inside where my internal organs are, like nothing is attached to anything else and maybe my uterus is carrying a shiv to stab the others.  On one of my runs I had to stop and give the stabber (whoever it might be) a stern talking to.  On a different run it was my butt doing the back talking.  Or butt talking.  So there is mutiny all around!

Due to bodily protest, instead of doing a third run this week I did interval training.  My brother suggested this as it might help me increase my lung capacity.  15 seconds of sprinting, followed by 40 seconds of walking, seven times.  I figured this would be fast and easy, and YES, it was very fast.  A fast way to want to die.  The first sprint was liberating and fun.  On the last one I thought my legs were going to give out and I would have to crawl back to the house.  Awesome!  I will probably do this again.

Also in the haps this week: stretching.  I am about as flexible as a ruler.  Toes here I come!

The keyboard is not a challenging jigsaw puzzle.

Izzy has been popping the keys off my keyboard at every opportunity, and let me tell you, there is some gross stuff hiding under those keys.  With my next laptop I will have to wear gloves and a hairnet.  Perhaps also I will not eat cookies or pizza while I am typing.  But it's not like I found an olive or anything, so maybe I CAN keep doing that.  Anyway, I'm just glad that I memorized the keys in 7th grade so that I know where to put them back.

In other news, this is my latest item of want:

The Puzzle Pro Automatic Folding Table!

I love doing puzzles, but Izzy is a natural born destructor.  This is the solution.  I am such a nerd.

Saturday Sweat Log: The Gimpy Edition

Not a bad week, not bad, bad; I did almost 9 miles (watch those numbers climb!)  and only got lost once.  That was on Wednesday, when I decided to try a new route around the golf course.  Needless to say, this was the day I ran the furthest.

I ended up in a maze of streets and had many doubts about my path when I began to encounter gates across the road.  I paused at one in order to consult the map on my phone, and as soon as a car came to activate the gate, an Asian dude slipped through the quickly closing opening.  I decided that I, too, wanted to be on the other side, and followed him through in an Indiana Jones fashion.  For the rest of the run (at least another mile) this guy and I ran apace on opposite sides of the street.  I am fairly certain he was wearing black jeans and other such casual street clothes.  Maybe he had to be somewhere and his car was broken...?  I don't know.

It has been a fairly damp week.  Once, I stepped on something squishy in my barefoot running shoes.  I hope it was a sodden piece of wood and not one of the many snails that have been out enjoying the weather.

On Friday I definitely stepped on a pine cone, but I wish it had been a snail.  I stumbled a bit and tweaked my ankle, but it didn't start hurting until I finished up and got back to the house.  Apparently running and walking are entirely different actions.  I have been walking like a pirate ever since, a pirate with a brand new peg leg.  Aarrgh!

September 19 is International Talk Like a Pirate Day, so there is plenty of precedence to make today (March 5) Walk Like a Pirate Day.  I encourage you to participate.

Things that would probably taste good on a stick:

• Meat chunks
• Meat loaf
• A potato
• Cake
• Bread
• Frozen water
• Frozen JUICE
• Ice cream
• Hot dogs
• Gummy bears
• Most kinds of fruit; NOT pomegranate
• Cheese
• A tomato
• Grilled onions and peppers
• A hard boiled egg
• Chips, although I don't quite know how you would get them on there
• Cheetos!
• Jello

What would YOU like to eat off of a stick?