Its not the end

Hello, just wanted to pay a visit to this dear old blog. It's been a long time since ive posted here haha. But this blog is not over yet! It's not due to be abandoned yet. I still have my incompleted stories here, sigh i dont know when i'd ever finish them. Maybe someday when i'm all grown up and married.

Opened a new blog btw, it's www.awxion.blogspot.com =). It's not a esoteric blog haha.

It's been 7 months already since I've left HC. Doesnt seem that long ago. Seems like yesterday when i enlisted too, and now i'm less than 10 days away from graduating from BMT.

I did very well for my A's too, for my standard and the amount of time i pumped in. 3As and a C6. Even my form teacher told me she frankly didnt expect me to catchup so much. thank God! :) I hope i can inspire juniors who havent been doing well too. Lysia: you can do it!

Met up with some old friends today. Wangyu, rachelle, huizhong. Spent the whole day out. I'm glad i had a chance to catchup with hz, finally gave me a chance to clarify and sort out things of the past. Everything in life is fine now =). Life flows smoothly and im just happily drifting along. Don't know where i'd end up next, command school? Nah it doesnt matter. Tmr would worry for itself.

I think i've learnt alot from my exp in HC, toughened me up haha. Never cling on too tightly onto things of the past - was perhaps the most valuable lesson that i brought out of school. We're constantly losing people, friends drifting away, migrating, departures. Next wednesday the 50 of us platoon mates would split up and be sent to different schools and vocations. It's really sad, but id just have to take it in my stride of life. 8.5 weeks of living through thick and thin together, sleeping and living together; I'm grateful for this period of time given to us, and the brotherhood that gummed all of us together. I appreciated everything, and now i've at least got the memories to bring along with me :)

If you still visit this place, please tag! Save me from the loneliness :D

Bye! and thanks so much for visiting

It ends at230

Ever heard of the song "It ends at230" by All University Rejects?

I guess you havent, cos it never existed. hahaha. shld really try altering the original lyrics.


argh dreadful friday.. i wont be human if i say im not scared by the prospect of receiving my results. distressing stuff, it seriously ruins my whole mood.

Yeah its nice to go back to school again, but when it has to do with anything academic, it just makes me feel kinda condemned again, like a level lower than everyone else. when people start talking about results, part of my morale just runs away. I only noticed the difference just now when classmates started talking about friday, and i felt the change. Not exactly subtle, but ive definitely never been conscious of that. Ive been plague by pessimistic thoughts for the past two years i guess. Two years of 2nd to 3rd percentile just gets into your head, haha, not that i want to. Ive never been of a pessimistic nature.

Going back to face a whole bunch of schoolmates from the top jc in singapore, how is that not stressful. There are people who complain all along that they wont do well, and then come out with straight aces. people who ask how you did without any care for you whatsoever, or those who pretend to care but are not sincerely concerned. If you're any of the above, bleh go away. Seriously

Okay its not like im gonna do badly after all. I know i talk that way, it just comes quite naturally. I'm not pessimistic. I worked hard for the last stretch, and it may or maynot be too late. Sometimes i wonder why i hadn't woken up earlier, but nah it's too late to think about these. Somehow I was just unable to think straight and that was it. I wonder if things would have been any different if i hadn't gone to hcjc. I'd probably enjoy life so much id end up the same. What if i were in white and blue? What if i listened to yongneng and went rj, what if i listened to jinglin and went vj. what if i chose emo and went vj? hahahah

Eitherway, im glad i had friends who were always there to encourage me. You know who you are, and i do too.

I really don't know what to expect on friday. Based on how ive performed the two years, anything above a pass is a bonus already.. Logically. haha. I don't have any accurate benchmarks for me to predict my results. Its like, i have noo idea of what im capable of, if i even push myself a little bit. Bs? Cs? As?? Im a very consistent performer, and my grades dont fluctuate much. But a pity they are always Os. I have never gotten an A before, nor B, nor D. Only once a C for maths. haha.

I wonder if they have Best Improvement Award.

If you ask me what im aiming for, it'd be AAA duh, and a B3
But coming back to earth, it's AAC, ABB, or ABC as the most feasible best case scenarios. B4
Realistically speaking, i think i'd be looking at BBC or something like that. and.. C6



Anyway, all the best to you! =)

Results are just results, please dont get too demoralized if you dont do well. Life might seem a little dimmer, but all's still bright. In anycase, friends remain and id be here.

to the low flyers. it's time we took off. haha. Lets see how high we can go before stalling.





Actually, i think the pain is not that much in accepting what i get. I'm more afraid of how to face up to people with my results. How people will look at me. =(

Everyone expects much from a HC boy, though like yeah im kinda the wrong person to place your expectations in. Ppl from school are fine, cos they know im nowhere near high flying, stuck on the runway. Its the more distant friends/acquintances/colleagues form everywhere else. I dont feel nice to elaborate, but its just some bad elitist attitude, the same old common story of trying to prove one's self. Of course id be sad if i fail to live up of what ppl expect of me. Im not elitist, neither am i qualified to be one. everyone else everywhere is equally capable of getting straight A's, but im just worried ppl'll read: someone who doesnt do well in HC, is a total loser.

Time flies. If you asked me if i missed HC, i dont really know. It depends on which aspect of it im thinking about. Sometimes i look through my msn list, all the problems ive been through, and i feel that there isnt much to bring along out of HC. Instead i feel glad im out. Sometimes i think about my closer friends, and memories of going through things together, all the friendly hi-bye friends around, part of my classmates; then Id say im glad they all happened. Both are true in their respective senses, but i guess I'd only feel nostalgia about school if i think about it (the latter). Id cherish those magical moments and memories, but i wont really want to go through it all over again if i could; i wont miss it in this sense of the word.


Confusing, its just - i like alot, but the things i dislike are almost equally as much, such that they sorta neutralise each other.

I hope to be optimistic and satisfied tmr, but in case i dont, here's optimism to remind myself, before i run low on it.

Results don't mean everything, not when you have God around. You gave me conscience, morals. Brought me into a wonderful sec school. Gave me wonderful friends and a great experience of life. You gave me talents and status. I didnt do so well, but You brought me into such a JC. A very warm and friendly environment. I didnt fit in, You gave me caring friends. I failed all my studies, You gave me concerned and devoted teachers. [edited]

I almost forgot the word, and drew distant from You infact, maybe thats why im to blame for not accepting and living through JC the way you planned for me to enjoy it. Same for studies. But you brought me through all these while, u let me stay and im sure you'd bring me out with good results. Even if they weren't good, you'd still lift me up high again, simply because of who i am in Christ. So yeah boy don't fret.




In any case, thankGod for the results =)

announcement

behold! the creation of a second blog! hahah. hopefully, with increased competition from this rival blog, i'd be forced to increase my post frequency and content interestingness. brilliant idea.

Dunno when this blog can RIP, but i also dont know how to end it appropriately. Maybe my A results would be the last post stuck up there for everyone to see.. provided it's not that bad.

So yeap, that'd be the blog that would succeed this. Ive changed the address 3 times, with 14 other untried ideas, and this one has stuck for about a week, so i guess it'd stay.. until i change my mind again. The biggest competitors are awxide, awxidise, awxygen and awxymoron.. hahah. awxion is just the easiest on the eye, no long alphabets sticking out.

Yeap.

So... yeap..

4.9 outing + 78 bball reunion at school

Thursday 4th January: 4.9 Class gathering

Since dear chairman Dominic Seow had been a asdf slacker that took forever and never to organise a class gathering, 2-party talks with Tofu were initiated on 2nd of Jan 2007, 1400hours, and we decided to come up with masterplan. We criticised useless Dominic and coordinated our own class gathering. 10 minutes and all details and trivialities were finalised.

And so, it happened. On the 4th day of the week, the 4th of Jan, the people of 4.9 came together, united in a single cause - to make the gathering a success. The turnout was fantastic! 7/26 attendance. lolol, But of course you cant expect the 9 prcs to turn up.



Played squash with tofu and cg in the morn, and joined the class after. We ate lunch, talked rubbish, cracked prc jokes, and made fun of yij.un and r.ahul. Lanned at safra toapayoh, bowled at span jom's, ate some famous chicken rice, and watched The Curse of the Golden Dragon. We did all these without taking any transport, to evade the killer fares. Toapayoh is such a convenient place! Or more likely its because of our patience and endurance that we can cover such distances with ease. The true sportsmen spirit.



David joined during lan. Chongguang left and yichao joined before/after bowling respectively. The rest - dominic aaron me walter david leon.



The movie part was quite exciting. After much deliberation, we paid to watch Confessions of Pain, but after watching the trailer of golden flower in the cinema, some of us changed our minds and decided that it WAS quite a cool movie. haha. So we split up and searched all 6 cinemas for golden dragon, but found none showing it. Upon checking a second time, it turned out that the cinema was the one yichao was supposed to check, one that we ruled out because yichao said it was some Jing Ma Jiang movie, read-Golden Horse Award. hahaha. Turns out that the movie's real title sounded something like that also, but i dun rmmbr it either. haha. oh well our chinese suck.

Sweet gatherings, it was great that we could get a chance to meet up before ppl start enlisting. The familiarity, the brotherhood, and all the crap and rubbish, im really glad nothing has changed at all =). It was as if we were just fresh out of sec school, communication barriers and all? they were all non-existent. Most acsians who go on to ACJC tend to drift away from those who dont very fast, due to their social and extro nature, and PR abilities. Besides, as zh says, all of them went there, we're the minority groups, who would think of us? Its effortful and wearisome to keep in touch with most ppl, even most council mates grow distant, but i'm thankful that it isnt the case for my class. Perhaps it's because we're part of the low profile population, lol, but thats alright, it's a positive trait thats definitely worth cherishing =).


May the brotherhood of 4.9 always stay this way. To those enlisting soon, Godbless and excel in there! To the rest, heheh we've got much to play

Anyway, Curse of Flower was quite nice, and i enjoyed it. haha. A really busty show, haha. Go check out the wallpapers to know what i mean. And the (good) thing is that, all of the females dress the same! lol. Okay but that aside i thought the plot was quite cool too, the ending was kinda unexpected. I didnt find anything wrong with jay's acting actually,haha. I enjoyed the plot, and all the fighting between the factions, cool stuff man. But i still complain not enough fighting lol. Looking forward to One Last Dance, Pathfinder, and 3000. Btw the actress who acted as Jiang Chan was damn cute! haha. Her name is Li Man, and guess what? only 17 years old! Whoa damn cute

[David] dude don't forget to invite me to play for your church haha.

Monday 8th January: 78 bball reunion

Went back to school today to play catch up and bball with my other bunch of fellow ex-schoolmates =). I realized that we've been meeting up at least once every 2 weeks. haha. keep it up!

We were supposed to meet up at 1230, but after some change of planned times, poor information dissemination and no notification of the changed meeting times, we had ppl coming as early as 12 and as late as 4. Tan Huiwen arrived promptly at 12, how commendable! lol.. and waited rather long

There were other hwachong people around that day too.. daryl, chaoquin, forgot, dunno and freddy. The last 3 challenged us to bball and we got owned big time. that part wasn't very fun, but otherwise everything was great.. haha.

Crashed the first session of snr meet jnr at 5pm, that's the first time they meet each other, and the first time we meet the j1s too. We have to be there you know? Spot prospective girlfriends hahahah. No im just kidding, they'd be the age grp of girls we'd meet in uni, for those of you who start thinking im desperate. Anyway the session was poorly conducted by the 06s78 classrep, doesn't really know how to handle these kinda stuff i guess, so the introduction was stale and the games were boring, poorly organized. Wait a minute did they even organize? hahah. Didnt look like they had plans prior to this thing, Liwei said it was a last min notification too anyway, what a waste.

Didn't really get to look at the grandjuniors clearly and intently enough to know how all of them look like, but quite alot of chinese high guys, and i did notice that two of them looked very poserish paikia kind. The rest of the guys looked boring, and so did about half of the girls hahah. Of course this is a very inaccurate face value judgement, lets hope looks deceive. Besides, it was a boring session haha.

Been quite some time since i've stepped back into hwachong, the sense of familiarity and all is still there, the good ole classbench, and the general warm vibe of the school. Somehow i dont really feel anything else atop of that, as if my emotional faculty not functioning properly. I should at least feel abit of nostalgia and all no? no. This graduation isn't as painful as the one two years before, in fact only about 1-5% of how it was then. Im probably just numbed by all these stuff already, don't really care much anymore. matured i guess? haha, steeled by all the depression and angst that bugged me through most of my jc life. Ive finally learnt to let go of things.

Life now is.. hmm boring.. Ive got to find a way to plan a timetable to fit in all the activities i want to do, or else i think id end up doing nothing at all. Army guys going in soon. one day it'd strike me that ive got 90% fewer activity partners. Need more friends.

[edit 02/02/07] oh yes i forgot to add, i took a photo with lee wensi! haha.

After bball and all that, few of us went to eat supper at adam rd food center, cos cy hadn't had dinner, and we happened to bump into her, gary and some of their friends. They were like sitting the table next to us. What a rare opportunity! so i decided to seize it to take a photo with her, and i dragged huiwen along so i wouldn't look so weird, and so gary won't bash me.

Like whoaaa she was damnnn pretty!!! she looked as sweet as she always looked in mags and newspapers, and very nice as well. All was going well... But thennnn, tingfu had to tilt the camera such that only me and her were in the photo. I was just joking but he thought i meant it.. arghhhhhhh hahaha wa lau tingfuuu... we re-enacted the camera angle and it was pretty obvious that she could tell that the camera was biased. arghhhhh!!!!!!!!! She even told huiwen to move in nearer. she'd probably think it was schemed to be like that, haha. oh well.. But on the bright side i dont think she'd recognise me again anyway.. lol. Tingfu u rock. But id never ask you to help me take photos again.. hahah.

Anyway.. thanks huiwen for accompanying me to take that nice photo.. and since the photo was already warped.. why not crop huiwen off? hahaha

So well actually it had originally looked like this

Once again thanks huiwen for offering services to photoshop herself off too! hahah huiwen you rock. =D

Here are other photos of the day

Happy New Year! (temp post)

Welcome to the year of

2007

before you resume with your everyday plans and activities, or start work on your new year resolutions, read this Happy_New_Year.txt and check with the pointers below for your make benefit.

Have you:

1. left anything behind? leave behind your guilt and regrets, bring along your happiness, memories, achievements and incompleted aspirations.
2. Have you left anyone behind? friends, you dont forget them just because they're no longer your schoolmates
3. Have you left any part of you behind? Improve from your flaws in character, attitude or perspectives. Gone will be e moody days. It's time to mature, an opportunity to start afresh.
4. Check that you've locked your past. A precautionary measure which might be useful if time machines are to be invented.
5. Did you leave your key in the keyhole? As above
6. Have you wished me Happy New Year? kinda late alr, u can wait till mar 12th =)

But either way,

Happy New Year my friend =).

JC came, and JC went, swift as can be. This blog has already lived passed its due, and i feel weird blogging here already. It just doesnt feel the same, the situation and all has changed. I mean, its a new year already, and though today is just a few days down from yesteryear, it feels as if i just entered a new age. psychological, hmm. But oh well it already is another phase of life.

The posts that i type now have a totally different feeling to it, so don't wish to ruin the original nostalgic flavor of this place.

Had originally planned to end this blog by the end of 2006, but doesnt seem like that's possible.

This blog wont die so soon yet, still have a couple of half-completed drafts to publish. Posts about outings, christmas, class chalet, or even school. Still have a few picture stories that are incompleted/not even started; SpermWars was one of them, and i dont think id ever resume work on that. haha. Its like Ive got so much in plan, but i think it's so overly ambitious that id barely even complete half of them before i enlist.

I just need a few more weeks to complete all these remnant posts and projects leftover from last year, post pictures, and update some last thoughts and details about my now over JC life. One final emo post to reflect upon everything that's happened within the span of these two years, and thats it. After that id finally feel comfortable to close this chapter of my life =).

I'm sorry for lagged posting, im still deliberating on what posts to put here and what posts to put on a new blog. Seems like the more i procrastinate, the harder it gets to blog too.

Anyway wish you a happy year ahead. To those going NS, have fun! =) To those who are not, have fun too! lol.

I'm really still free everyday, and though im quite sianed of trying to catchup with people after being turned down so many times, id still like to go out with friends. So if you're bored with nothing to do, pleasee do call me out! I may be busy at times, but i can assure that i'd make time for you within the next few days.

Love for Christmas

Warning: Some Violence

Parental Guidance Advised

Sorry, just felt like blowing something up.. heh

inspired - 12.34pm 29th december

male attire inspired by prom outfit

female inspired by _______ .

[ edit 8.20pm : Afterthought ]

I'm bored.. i seriously need to make more friends.

I'm sad.

Prom

I'm sorry that this is such a lagged post, kept procrastinating cause i kinda dread uploading photos, time consuming crap. But okay at least they're up =)

I planned to upload even more! but i really couldn't last through all the trouble hence i had to cut down on photo quantity. haha. Anyhow you can view the full album here:

http://new.photos.yahoo.com/angweixuan/album/

and for your/my convenience i collated a list of online albums too:

http://inksquare.wordpress.com/2006/12/05/enchanteritz-carlton/#more-254 yingying
http://www.bubbleshare.com/album/95720.7e60178432e/overview yongxiang
http://www.imagestation.com/album/review.html?id=2098510340 chongguang
http://new.photos.yahoo.com/foopam/album/576460762363814159#page1 pamela
http://new.photos.yahoo.com/iamchinzongyi/album/ zongyi


Prom seems so distant now, and it's kinda hard to recollect the things that had happened or the emotions that i felt. Damn, i should have at least blogged down the literature part before i started bothering with the photos. So here's it in disjointed form.

In a nutshell, i really enjoyed prom. It was fun and memorable, and quite an experience, being the first promenade i ever had. I mean, how often do you get a chance to dress up so nice and glam? lol. It's like for awhile you get to experience the high life of the upperclass societies and socialites, okay actually quite far from it, but i think that's the closest i can get, haha.

When i first stepped into Ritz Calton, i felt quite weird, like man don't really know what to do/how to act and all, and everyone's like checking out how other people look. Just feels quite uneasy. For some time me and a few of my friends just went to hide in some corner or even the toilet to escape the strange conditions and "unfamiliar people" outside. Actually not just a few of us, there were quite alot of us. haha. Sort of got better as i stopped being so conscious about the surroundings.

As expected, everyone looked so different that night, esp the girls, like gosh i really had trouble recognising people. When i first stepped into the ballroom at about 430 there was this girl waving at me as she walked past. I didnt know who she was until she told me, which she had to because i was giving her screwedup look haha, it was gloria. Wenqi and shimin also looked really different. All the girls looked different lar most of the time im like huh these ppl from hc meh. Guys look more or less the same lol. We don't fluctuate that much, and hence are the more stable and reliable sex. ahah. kidding

Alot of guys spent big bucks to style their hair, at a hair salon recommended by David the great. haha. The resulting hair styles were so awesome that they didnt feel worthy enough to have them, hence they had to turn to classmates to help them restyle their hairs. Chuan yuan did up delin's hair, while i did up timothy and zongyi's one. Tim's one was nice, but zongyi's one was just, nothing done haha. All the money for a hairstyle that you sport to school everyday. What a good use of money dude! haha. But you looked fine lar dont worry. How much worse can you get

The people from Broadband had to go early to prepare for our performance, so we were there abt 430. We were the first group of performers up on stage, so it was kinda stressful, but also kinda good cause performance wise there were no benchmarks set yet. Anyhow our performance was... pretty bad.haha. I felt that our rehearsals were better, maybe it's cos we were pretty nervous. Our repertoire - The Scientist, 爱我别走，温柔 in this order, sung by me, andy and yingying respectively. I sung okay for the first verse, constipated for 1st chorus, zaoxia for 2nd verse and okay for 2nd chorus. The howling part was a struggle haha. Kimberle did fantastic! u kept calm and maintained rhythm. I'm sorry that i was afraid of you screwing up under stress. Yingying sang very well! A pity that she couldn't really be heard. The guitars sounded gd. Drums abit out but was okay. I played like crap and couldn't be heard. haha. no-confidence-syndrome.

Anyway, in reply to huiwen's sms, i really enjoyed playing and practicing with you guys, david nicholas huiwen andy yingying kimberle. Most of the time we were like crap but its okay im sure it was all worth for the experience and bonding. I had fun and i hope y'all did too =)

All the practicing and psyching up for the performance really took away time and spirit for me to think about other stuff. I kinda overlooked the social aspect of prom. Regret not really doing much, Went in without a plan, or a rough idea of things to do. Could have bought some flowers, or say things that could make ppl feel happy or special for that night. Everyone likes to feel special. After all many have pumped in alot of effort and money to look gd. A mere few words could have made substantial difference in brightening up someone's day. Failed. Didn't really engage in conversations too, but the conditions didnt really allow for it either, everyone was just busy taking photos, so i guess it was alright just go on snapping photos as though there was never a max storage capacity or battery life.

The food was pathetic for the price, 85 bucks for meagre portions of food with questionable taste and eatability. K it wasn't that bad, but there are better options for that kinda price. I liked the cool UV stamps they put on our hand though, it was awesome.

Prom felt really short, like its all over in a flash. So fast i was left bewildered like huh that's it? I was kinda expecting more from prom, but maybe id have to put in more to gain that more. Or maybe prom is just like that! lol. Maybe i should have done something exciting like taking photos with random people haha. Either way, i wished it were longer. I didnt really take much photos too, my camera battery died halfway, so sad.

Didnt go for post-prom. Our class instead booked hotel 81, due to lack of availability from other hotels haha. Quite funny to see the reactions that ppl give when we tell them that we're going to hotel 81. They're just like shocked. haha. Wouldn't recommend people to go there unless they're there for quickie rendezvous, cos they've got some stupid rule that disallows more den 2 ppl in the room at any one time after 1130pm lol. We had to spend the night out at some deserted cafe, which was kinda fun too, talking crap until about 6 plus 7 am. We then went to send limin and fukan off.

Byee Limin and Fukan! I really enjoyed knowing the two of you. You two are just such nice people haha. It was a pleasure to be in the same class as y'all. Will miss you all man, esp limin, haha, all the times of basketball and lan bonding lol. It's sad that u two have to leave. Thanks for the smses y'all sent too, the consolations when i was posted out of hc, and for those small enquiries about where i am when i disappear from class. All the best for your future endeavours! =)

So that was it, le grande finale, the last time the we would all congregate as batchmates and schoolmates this year. The last time i'd walk around and see all these familiar faces, my good friends, my classmates, my random friends. I don't wish to go emo now, so that's it. Time flies.


Enchante 2006 - Just One Night


Indeed.

Me, the blonde, and the waiter who served me.
Class guys - bernard zongyi me biondi delin chuanyuan
My good random friends yangxiang and benjamin =)
my close buddies zongyi and yichao

Haha. Photo of the night. I wont gush lol AC gang man, bring it on. Fan Yizhong the prom crasher from acjc, sam tham and john kan. All my close friends.
Bernard Chua, supreme commander of the Soviet Union and my very good friend cum study mate.
Ms Chai Huizhong the strings president, who was my good friend, until i turned screwed up for certain reasons, im sorry about that. I know you visit this place, its alright and i dont mind. Feel free to tag =)
Bandmates John Kan and Roger Teo, all nice people
Andy with his self described horny look. hahah.
David fellow HI154 comrade, who never fails to amuse with his naturally spastic ways and retarded disposition.
Chieh Hwee leader of the HI154 Alliance.
most valuable photo of the night. Might be useful 10 years down the road haha.
Wenqi who looked really pretty that night.
Kaiqian my gd friend, someone with similiar frequencies that i could really relate to. Thx for being there =)
Huixuan random friend from canoe elective. Pretty right?
Gerald my gd random friend. Haha enjoyed studying with u and yintang, together with the occasional cards and bball lol.

Ben Tan my faithful mate of 12 years =). I didnt know you in pri school, but knew you for the rest haha. We werent same class in JC, but thanks for always being there too dude. I'm glad we still cock around the same way we did 6 years back. haha.

AC mates Kelvin Yichao me and Ben
Su Chong Guang my buddy from AC too. A good 4 years with you and counting =). I appreciate our friendship too mate. Keep in contact, and hopefully i can bring you round island cycling one day haha.

Timothy my gd friend from class. Id miss your crap man. haha. Sometimes i dont understand you, but i still enjoyed knowing you =)

Huiwen the drummer. Thanks for your listening ear through my 2 years. You were always there when i needed someone to talk to in J1 =)

pretty ppl
Prom outfit. Total amount spent on clothes and shoes = $190. Total on hair = $0 hahaha.
Pamela Foo. Your dress wasn't horrible as you described, lol. Thanks for your high approachabilityness. I enjoy chatting with you =)
Kimberle the keyboardist. U're another classgirl that i can easily talk to. Welldone on the keyboard. Glad to have u as a friend =)
RRM - Reading Room Muggers. The people and faces i always see at the reading room, well at least most of them. Those were memorable times of mugging =)

Class photo. This is 05S78 :)

The End

3 more days of total liberty

Firstly, to the respective people,

nothing will happen. =)

but yes please PAY UP LIKE ASAP! AASDLJKDSPFIOJDFSDKLJSD

cos I'm like damn broke apsdiojaskls with no money source because my parents are overseas, and i need cash to fully enjoy my last 3 days of alone-at-home-ness.

Haha quite funny. Went carrefour today and picked up a pack of chips and a kikapo joy juice, the cheapest drink in carrefour, went to the counter and realized that i couldn't afford to take both, so i had to be content with the 80c drink. If i dont take the drink, i cant even afford the chips. See how miserable i have become??? Kettle chips cost $6.50

I want to go out and play lan, go restaurants or cafes to chill out with friends, go bowling, book badminton courts, eat meals, cut hair and donate money to the guy who always plays guitar at the mrt station. Absolute freedom. Total independence. Imagine all the luxury of life i can have. Sounds great doesnt it? But sadly, all these are only possible, if you do your part. =( Only then, can my world be a better place =)

switch your mode, im going emo.

I'm really damn free, too free in fact, such that i'm starting to get really bored. =( It's not really cause i can't think of stuff to do, it's more like cause everyone's not free to company me.

Like shit man, my social circle seems to be shrinking all the time, ever disintegrating since the day i entered hc. Most old friends just seem to drift away, no matter how i try to keep in touch with them. Not much can be done really, if our lives don't cross. There aren't many reasons nor opportunities for interaction, and even if we do meet, there ain't much topics we can converse about.

Bumped into quite a few friends in town and all, and it usually ends with us finding ways to end the conversation politely like "hey okay ive gotta go man, see ya arnd" kinda thing. Our dialogues dont progress much beyond the mere "how are you"s and "what u doing". Sometimes they go on to "what do you plan to do next few months/when enlisting/what course you applying for", but at some point they'd just stall, because too many things have happened when i wasnt around and vice versa, such that these immense amount of thoughts and experiences accumulated through these times just fade away, outdated, and coagulate to form a barrier that plugs our thoughts and prevents even the most recent of topics from coming through. We just don't understand each other anymore.

It's true that in times like these, you realize who really are the ones that would stick with you through life, sincere people, true friends. But even these people drift away, its just inexorable. I thank these people for still sticking around, and i'm really grateful for their presence. But somehow it's just like everyone has his/her own life to go on with, their own cliques, friends, schoolmates. No matter what I just wont be part of the mainstay of their social lives. im just living on the outer rims of their social circles. It's just this indifference that arises from the lack of common experiences. It's something i feel that NS can nurture, and thats partly why im kinda looking forward to army, the brotherhood and the camaraderie. I can be someone's good friend or best friend, but because of this factor, i'm not really on their "favourites" list whenever they're planning programmes or thinking up list of possible activity partners. I'm just not really a part of anyone's life, man that just feels crappy. I'm sure some ppl would feel this way sometime or another.

I look around at my friends from other schools, almost all of them seem occupied everyday, going out with classmates, girlpals, lanmates, juniors, CCA mates, church mates. I compare the situations and start wondering if there's really something wrong with me, or is it because of the school and company i am in. I think it's both.

About the school. I can get along perfectly fine with almost everyone in school. People are nice, blabla, and im happy to have made many random friends everywhere. Sad thing is, i don't really have a clique, kinda like free-floating, stateless as J-wong would say. haha. I guess it can both be a good thing and a bad thing, bad in this sense. The thing about people in this school is that, i cant seem to find people whom i can perfectly click with, like pseudo 100% matching in frequency, where i usually have 2 or 3 from the same school and few more from others. People from different schools are just like so different. Abel complains that he can't trust anyone in class cause they are all gossipers, while I would complain that there is really a shortage of bimbos in the school. lol. I can't describe the specifics of the kind of people i am looking for, but I would know when i meet one, and i guess i have to look out of school.

I always had at least 1 close girlpal around in sec sch, and obviously from other schools, not mine. It's nice to have them, usually of equal or sometimes higher importance then guy friends. It's always easier for guys to confide in girls, and i think this is what classmates call ai mei (love sister). They'd always be there when needed, more so often then guys, but the only thing is that guy friends are tonnes more stable and maintenance-free. Go to JC, enter a co-ed environment, and most of them just drift away. Hence no more girlpals and can't find any. Girls here nothing wrong, just not really open and bubbly, and mostly quite conservative. I can't explain the difference, school culture maybe, haha. The only reason why i message people now is just to enquire information and stuff, maybe the occasional friendly greetings, no longer to chat. Den again maybe there isn't anymore smschat-culture now that we grew more matured, but i dont think that's true cause there are still people around me doing that.

Best guy friends are easier to find, but don't really have one either. Its probably because i haven't really put in much effort. Anyhow its the same case, the general interests and hobbies that people do here are quite different too. Of course there are always the usual stuff such as lan and sports, haha, but many don't really play comp games. Don't really talk about girls either cause our circles of friends don't really overlap, anyway im not really interested anymore. Eye candies are a different thing =D, now this is a universal topic. Actually best guy friends aren't that important, the kind of companylessness i experience now is probably caused by the lack of a stable or more definite clique of guy friends. Maybe i'm just trying to hard to keep all my days occupied, when everyone else are just lazy to do things. lol

As for myself, i really haven't put much effort into socializing either. The only people i really mix around with are just class guys, who are fun to crap around with. I do enjoy the random hi and bye friends in school, they enliven my day, but can't really do much with them. I didn't really create much options for myself. People are usually bonded with their CCA mates, but i'm not very close to strings people. Juniors are fine, but nobody's really close to class juniors anyway. Can't click with strings snrs alr, let alone jnrs. haha. Tuition wise, didnt really socialize, maybe i should have, lol, but the way lessons were conducted didn't really provide opportunities for interactions anyway. As for church, it's such a huge church, so obviously there's less of a "community spirit" kinda thing. There are the cell groups, which i never joined. That's another problem. Damn i should have. Otherwise i should have gone to some smaller chruch, but that's not really a good idea, afterall i come to this church because the sermons are powerful. I think CCA plays quite a big part. Sailing brought me much interaction opportunites, so did PB, photo and scouts not really but has been fun too. hmm

Judging by how i fared in adapting to this new school environment, i think i was pathetic, haha. Oh well, at least i did grow stronger having survived the experience. Id learn from my mistakes lest i suffer the same thing in uni. haha.

What an emo post, i dislike being emo. Im glad i managed to cut down on the number of emo posts already lol. Maybe i should just stop thinkign so much and start enjoying life and friends. after all many good friends could be the equivalent. Maybe i shouldn't even care about all these or even divide friends into ranks. I should probably stop looking for social activites and start doing stuff i enjoy such as cycling or rc racing, after all, the time seems to have come where everyone is already so busy with stuff. Time to visit hotels and find out how i can work as a bell boy.

Time to enroll into bellboy academy. Can you imagine? haha

Prom and class chalet post some other time