The Alligator River Story

There lived a woman named Abigail who was in love with a man named Gregory. Gregory lived on the shore of a river. Abigail lived on the opposite shore of the same river. The river that separated the two lovers was teeming with dangerous alligators. Abigail wanted to cross the river to be with Gregory. Unfortunately, the bridge had been washed out by a heavy flood the previous week. So she went to ask Sinbad, a riverboat captain, to take her across. He said he would be glad to if she would consent to go to bed with him prior to the voyage. She promptly refused and went to a friend named Ivan to explain her plight. Ivan did not want to get involved at all in the situation. Abigail felt her only alternative was to accept Sinbad’s terms. Sinbad fulfilled his promise to Abigail and delivered her into the arms of Gregory. When Abigail told Gregory about her amorous escapade in order to cross the river, Gregory cast her aside with disdain. Heartsick and rejected, Abigail turned to Slug with her tale of woe. Slug, feeling compassion for Abigail, sought out Gregory and beat him brutally. Abigail was overjoyed at the sight of Gregory getting his due. As the sun set on the horizon, people heard Abigail laughing at Gregory.

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THE EXERCISE: After reading the story, rank the five (5) characters in the story beginning with the one whom you consider as the “most offensive” and end with the one whom you consider the “least objectionable.” That is, the character who seems to be the most reprehensible to you should be entered first in the list following the story, then the second most reprehensible, and so on, with the least reprehensible or objectionable being entered fifth. Very briefly note why you rank them in the order that you do.

The Ugly truth

The Ugly Truth:
women are herd creatures, you will never be able to totally have them to youself, for they're most comfortable in herds, although they do long for your intimate one-to-one companion and attention.
women wants men to come after them and miss them.
men will get tired and frustrated of always following and yielding to the women's requests... and that's when they get bored and move on.
Men wants their women to come after them. They too crave and want attention as much as the women.
Nothing will work out for long if both sides refuse to compromise, always wanting the other side to adhere to their wants

woman & husband

I believe that a woman should submit to her husband. However, this is her choice and not an expectation her husband or any man should have on her; men should not lord it over their wives. I believe than men and women are of equal status and should be thus treat so. However, a woman should choose to submit to the will and decisions of her husband, supporting him. Once again, emphasizing that it is her decision and not smth her husband should demand. So the husband should still treat his wife with respect and as an equal, seeking her opinion, considering her viewpoint, and discussing decisions with her.

London expenditure

Did some estimated calculations with my mom.. I've spent about SGD $5,000 for 4months, inclusive of what I spent via visa card. O.O wow.
But okays larhs, I guess I probably spent less than my peers. xD

There's nothing wrong with liking someone. Sometimes, it's a feeling that can't be helped too. It's what you do about that feeling that'll matter.
Things happening here kept reminding me of the one whom I like whom I'm not supposed to like. The time is coming soon... after not seeing him for 4months, what will I do? ...


My 21st Birthday

Dad's been 'nagging' again about my 21st birthday - to throw a big party, invite all my frens, tell them it's my 21st bday, so that they'll bring gifts come. -.-"" ... I know he just wants me to be happy and do smth special for me, coz as everyone knows, 21st bday is supposed to be "special" (by dunno whose standards/trend-setter), and I appreciate his heart ^.^ ... ... but that's NOT what I want. I don't want pple to come becoz they are obligated; I don't want pple to give gifts becoz they are supposed to; I especially don't want them to buy things that don't has no value to me.

What I really really want for my birthday this year is to feel truly loved/appreciated and affirmed. That's simply it. Although I may love to spend time with various close ones, but that's not really my wish this birthday. I don't want to plan anything for myself either. It's tiring for the past 2-3years to plan my own bday. Started planning my own becoz I got tired of waiting for smth interesting/smth special to happen on my bday. Always waiting for a nice surprise! but to be disappointed, so started planning such tat none of my bday will pass me without smth to be happy about. Then realised, yes I'm happy, but it becomes a lil meaningless coz it's so short-lived.

This year, I want smth different. So I'm not planning anything; I'm not doing anything for myself. What happens happen. :) If frens want to celebrate my bday, okay. If they want to spend time with me, alright. :) But I don't want no mass party where I have so many different grps of frens and the dilemma of splitting myself, feeling torned & busy hospitaliting, then end up my energy all sapped. I'm not a big group person, though I love my frens. I rather spend quality time wif them than mash them up together and sent to me in a lump.

When explaining to my dad some of the reasons why I don't like his plan, I mentioned about the presents part. Somehow, I'm less appreciative of presents that are bought, unless it's really something that I want/need and the giver buys it with that knowledge. If pple are buying for the sake of bringing a gift out of courtesy, to be honest, I would rather they not give me a gift. :) Ever told a fren, your presence is enough present for me, and I mean it.

The kind of presents I really really REALLY would like to have though, is one that comes from the heart and really shows sincerity/genuine-ness. Such as something that is specially made/specially personalized (which is probably the reason why I hand-made most of my gifts thru the years). But that doesn't mean that bought gifts don't show sincerity...

I will never forget a gift that was so valuable to me, though it was bought. It was the TABOO game that was given on my 17th Bday by my besties, who collaborated with my other sec sch grp to buy this game that I really liked and hinted to them, not expecting them to buy it coz at that time, it was quite expensive for us as students. The effort they took and the sacrifice they made then, made the bought gift valuable. Was sooooo sad when I lost it. :"(


Anyways, there's nth much I really really want this year, except to feel affirmed and loved. Looking back over the months and years, I feel I've done so much and given so much; yet I felt as if I've never done anything and have given nothing. I see no fruits of my labour. I see little change in anything I thot I've given myself to. There's the weariness and consideration if I've contributed anything to this world at all.

I remember in civics education in sec2, when I was first exposed to the concept of "self-esteem". Teenagers are said, by my teacher, to go thru a period where we seek to find our identity and struggle with our "self-esteem". Then he goes about telling us how to improve our self-esteem, or sth like tat, I can't rmb. I only remember that I was thinking to myself: I like myself; I'm good; I know who I am and I am confident in myself, a creation of God, loved my God. I wasn't in love with myself nor like myself superb a lot, but I was fine with myself and thot nothing will shake my self-esteem becoz I know my position in God.

But was it my JC years? With all that I went thru as years went by, my self-esteem crashed. I became skeptical of myself, my actions, my intentions, my secret/sub-conscious intentions, my friendships. I started to doubt myself and the friendships around me. Are people friends with me becoz they are too polite to reject me but secretly don't like me that much?

What I really want to receive this birthday is affirmation of who I really am to those around me, and to know that pple truly care and love me for who I am, even with my shortcomings. That I'm not an irritating, leeching person, and that I'm not a person that just passes thru their lives.

I just want to know that I genuinely mean something to someone, and to know what pple who I've spent soooo much time with really think about me.

I've received one so far already; thanks Jas! :) It meant so much that I was nearly moved to tears and have decided to keep that in my planner, to take it out to read and encourage/affirm myself whenever I'm all negative about myself again. That's what I want, more than receiving anything now.

1st week of hols! Happpppyyy. ^.^

In view of the entire week - Monday to Friday - it is a week that though I was unwell I was out of the house most of the time, every day. But despite the terrible feeling of being sick, weak and unwell, it has been one of the nicest spent week - I spent it with people whom I'm closest to, whom I'm most comfortable with, whose presence gave me support & some kinda inner strength. :) (perhaps that's why although I did not rest at home that much, I still recovered at a good pace. A merry heart, brought by close enjoyable company, is like medicine. :P )

Spent Monday afternoon, after final exam (finally!!!) wif my besties at the ArtScience Museum to see the Titanic Exhibition. It's really interesting, though sadly, I was still very sick/tired/immune down, din't enjoy it to its full capacity. Nevertheless, enjoyed the company and FINALLY a step into the realm of museum. ^.^

Thurs met Jenn for lunch then tuition. Fri had someone close to accompany me to get my IELTS results (^.^), travelled about a while, then home to playing games wif 2of the crazy gang - enjoyable one-to-one & relaxing afternoon at home.

But the highlight of the week was Tuesday & Wednesday, especially Tuesday. :) Spent with the same group of pple - 3 frens who I feel very close to, can open myself a lot to, very comfortable with, and are the first few (if not the first) pple I'll turn to whether is it a request for prayer or seeking advices. A lot of spontaneous things happened within that two days, which makes things relaxing (not planed) and a whole load of fun! :)

Agreed to watch movie wif 2 of them on Tues (the other working, so can't). Plan: meet early to book tix then lunch then movie. Actual outcome: one turned up >1hr late, so 2of us chatted/hunted for snack whilst waiting & coz the 3rd came rather late, no time for lunch, we wandered to get the latecomer a snack before heading for the movie. PUSS IN BOOTS WAS GREAT!!!! :D :D :D An enjoyably good animation never fails to make my life brighten up! ^.^ Really really enjoyed Puss in Boots. :):):) So after movie, walked for 30min before eating lunch at 3pm (catch the late aft offer!), then the spontaneous idea of visiting the 4th came.

But coz I din't expect us to end so late (thot after movie go home le), so din't bring my medicine out.. So the two accompanied me back to my place, so I can take my drugs, and sun bian spent an hour teaching guitar. By the time we reached summerset, it was 6.15pm, and as we looked ard for our fren serving in the F&B, cldn't see, called & found out having dinner, so we trio went to see winter clothes on discount, coz the 3rd was flying to US soon for a sem. Then going back to surprise visit the 4th, we went in one by one. So fun! J. was at the entrance selling cookies, and I. went in first, then called W. say go find J. at the entrance of which W. thot the entrance of the kitchen! (lol!!!) so W. walked in, not seeing J., got redirected by I., and hahas. Appeared before J. who alrdy saw W. walked in. Surprise fail. Then my turn. I. called me & told me J. selling cookie at entrance, go buy! So I sneaked closer, hiding behind a random person passing by, and kinda jumped in front of J. and said "I'll like to buy a cookie too!". *stunned* hahas. (surprise king success! xD ) So anyways, the 3 of us tried some food there, since it's the first for W. and me, which J. paid for us (not supposed to. :(:(:( ) coz so touched by us coming down & brightening up the otherwise dull work life. ^.^

Fast-forwarding… I. had another meeting at Dhoby, so adios. W. & myself were still hungry, so went food court to grab more food. After which, was showing W. the elephant display , suggesting whether we shd say hi again to J. before we go, which wld be another surprise coz J. wld haf definitely thot we had gone home alrdy. Hahas. In the end, J. surprised us! Suddenly appearing beside us! *stunned* "I thot you OT-ing today.,.." so since 1st floor 313 very noisy, J. brought us two to Orchard Central rooftop where we cld talk/catch up better & enjoy the night too. Later, I. smsed J. after dhoby mtg to see if J. had ended work, so I. came up Orchard Central rooftop, found us, and we all finally headed home.

Wow. What a day. 3friends whom I've long not had a good interaction with, I spent the entire day with. From 11am till past 10pm. Lunch, movie, guitar, dinner, rooftop. Splendid. Had good one-to-one interaction, enjoyable happy time with two, and spontaneously, coincidentally relaxing time with three. How things turned out that day was such a surprise; so spontaneously! What was thot to be a lunch & movie (4hrs meetup) became extending to 6hrs at my place, extended to 9hrs to surprise J., 10hrs to have proper dinner, 11+hrs as we 'bumped' once again into J. & later I. Was a very happy person, though still felt tired easily due to illness.

On that day, I. requested our company to go down chinatown the next day (wed). So spent the late afternoon wif I., and joined by J. & W. for dinner & dessert.

Tis the account of my wonderfully, enjoyably spent week of which I was unwell. A nice way to 'celebrate' post-exams., though all the better if I wasn't unwell, and also had a day for myself (going out does make me tired, although I really enjoyed the close company of the week, esp tues. ^.^)
I realized, two things I look for in a f/s --> comfortable & intimacy. They are diff. For eg today, the pple are comfortable to be with, but the intimacy that once was seemed to be no longer in existence

London Prep Process



What a week of stress; what a draining week. All becoz of London preparation, be it the keep-going-up flight ticket prices, or O/A level English not qualified to prove we're english proficient enough to study in London (*roll eyes*), or having to sign up for an English exam that cost >$300 and have no more vacancies online but managed to get reserved spaces thanks to prof, or to get ready to go down tmr to the British Council to settle the application for the Eng exam.

*sighs*

most interestingly about this song was that it was shared to me over msn at 2.37am by N. Felt funny becoz felt like God using 'em to encourage me becoz thru the stress of today's bad news (or ytd's actually, looking at the time..), I was thinking "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". Interestingly, that was what I was telling my youth when I met him on Monday. Hahas. Started and ended the week with the same famous quote: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!"

Gnite!

Eng requirement to get doc to get visa.

Unexpected, last-min predicament that may prevent us getting the letter from UK to apply for our visa. Praying very hard. Frens, pls keep my team and I in prayer. Thanks.

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When the Lord gives a boost of faith, one should remember that there is coming a greater challenge of faith. || The Lord was faithful, is faithful, and He will still be faithful. I shall keep my faith & learn to find quiet assurance in Him.

CAPA Scholarship... THANK YOU LORD!! ^.^

PTL! PTL! PTL!! As He says He will provide, indeed He is providing. Hallelujah! I feel so touched now, tears are welling in my eyes of how GOOD my Lord is, esp with the double emphasis of reminding me of His faithfulness -
(1) today in morning prayer, we learn that as the children of God, we have access to HIS resources (and look! here it is. ^.^)
(2) was just thinking about the $$ issue (start planning/budgeting..) + dad just realized the bomb I'm going to spend & starts questioning where the $$ is gonna come from. and *boom!* open email, got moved by Him.

I soooooooooooooo just wanna give God a nice BIG hug now!! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
This can't come at a better timing. ^.^

Thank You God for reminding us of Your faithfulness and strengthening our faith.

Morning Prayer

‎"In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness and the darkness did not comprehend it." ~John 1:4-5

I ♥ MORNING PRAYER!! :D

Fllllyyyyyyyyyyyyy...

HALLELUJAH!!

After alllllll that stress of checking flight prices, trying to coordinate the more than 10 of us, the tickets are booked, the price paid. Praise God managed to book at low price (<$1.3K) though it's arrive one day too early. Wells, at least that means we'll have each other (about 13 of us) to look out for each other and bound for an entire day before the program starts official and we meet up with our prof and the UB North Campus pple. :P

Finally, one load off the mind! *phew*

Now, just to get the VISA done, everything is set and confirmed, left the preparation of things to bring and researching on London and Europe. :D

Looking forward!! Getting excited!!! :D:D:D

but besides all these, looking forward to the independence that will grant me growth & slowly nurtured confidence & self-esteem.
Looking forward to the breaking away from normal routine and the many familiar responsibilities and duties I'm bounded with that makes me often so busy I have hardly have time to sit and deal with issues/seriously ponder about stuff.
Looking forward to being away from my friends to think about friendship issues and hopefully resolve my dear fragile mindset of friendship, and figure during this test of time who are really my true friends and stop struggling internally in the dilemma of wondering and trying to balance many groups of friends.
Looking forward to be kicked out of my comfort zone, to be tested, to be stretched, that I may know myself better. Also that without my comfort zone of friends and family, that I'll further more depend on God (meeting better my criteria/wish to fully rely on Him) and my growth/relationship/faith in Him will strengthen.
Looking forward to exploring different cultures and rediscover my love for novelty, learning/understanding/enjoying culture, and learn new things!
Looking forward to have a new taste in the 'working world' and have a better direction of my future career path/what I want to do in life.

All in all, looking forward to the growth (in many various aspects) I know I'm gonna receive through those 4months; most importantly my growth as an entire being - character, personality, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

I've been through so much in Singapore. Now it's time to kick me out far away so that I may grow and no longer be trapped by my past and present, but to see the world and be reminded of how so much things matter much much more than just to be tangled in the nets I've been in. :P

WOOHOO!! :D
‎2 more months!
(I wonder how life wld have changed then, exactly 2months from now)

Friendship issue.. resolving successfully

I'm glad that I've come to the point where I see your appear on my friends sidebar, it doesn't affect me anymore. Guess I've let go. :) or making really good progress. :) Thank You Lord.