aDeK's 17th Birthday

aDeK's 17th Birthday


currently listenin to: Jason Mraz - Plane

Happy 17th Birthday to my one & only brother.. jeez you look older than you're supposed to.. well, have a great one..

went to JB yesterday with the usual suspects.. got to see my room.. my small, quiet room at the back of the house.. it may be small but i don't care because i like it like that.. we went to this home deco shop & it's now the next thing after IKEA in my list of places i will never get tired of going..! bought myself a pair of purple clip-on butterflies to clip on my curtains in my JB room.. found lots of candle holders, rattan baskets, candle burners & many other really, really cool [& cute] stuffs.. oh, & there's a cute guy who works there too.. hehehe~ *WiNkZ*

anyway, i'm still not over the fact that i blasted in my blog last week.. i feel bad.. like as if i've offended some people.. but hey, i've already apologised so..?

i'm back on my job-huntin thingy so if you guys could help me out, it'll be really great.. any openings & stuff, do keep me posted, yeah..?

contemplatin on cuttin my hair.. & i mean cuttin it really short.. what do you think? should i keep it until shoulder length or should i cut it really short, just below my ears..? HaiZiR's tellin me to cap it to the shoulders but i thought of snippin it all the way below the ears.. he says it's "unfeminine" of me & he "can't imagine" me with short hair.. hehehehe~ so now i need [a] second opinion[s]..

my apologies..

my apologies..


currently listenin to: Wyclef Jean feat. Mary J. Blige - 911

i'm so sorry if i hurt anyone with the previous entry.. i just couldn't contain my anger & at that point of time, pennin it down was the only SAFE thing i could think of & do.. i really felt like punchin someone in the face [or better still, in the guts] but unfortunately i couldn't.. i wanted to scream but again, i couldn't because if i did i'll get into another quarrel with my DaD & i don't want that to happen now that the father-daughter relationship has been mended.. & it would have been unfair to him if i did it.. i mean, he broke the bad news in a really nice way & for me to scream at him or anyone else is not the right thing to do.. anyone in their sensible mind should know that.. once again, i'm really, really sorry..

anyway, a HAPPY 26TH ANNIVERSARY to my parents.. how nice.. 26 years, 26th of the 6th month in 2006.. & 26 is my favourite number.. goin out for a celebration dinner.. well, we're celebratin my DaD & aDeK's birthdays as well so it's a 3-in-1 dinner..

let me just let out my disappointment in yesterday's match between Portugal & Holland.. i'm upset that Holland didn't qualify but what upsets me more is the game that was just SO HORRIBLE..! pushin & shovin, yellow cards, RED CARDS?? what in the world is goin on..?? that was the first time i've witnessed such a horrible, horrible game..! that just puts my fights with my girl friends' boyfriends [won't mention names here..] to shame..! i dislike the referee.. is he high on drugs? what did he inhale before the game? he seemed to enjoy givin out those coloured cards.. i think he wasn't in the right state of mind or maybe he's a fake? jeez..! whatever the reason is, i don't like him.. & Holland.. i just can't find the right words to say it.. correct me if i'm wrong but do i sense a lack of team togetherness/team spirit? i just didn't feel it.. it was like as if they were 11 perfect strangers who've only met for the very first time.. i really don't know what to say..

for those who watched the game, you should know what i'm crappin abt.. for those who didn't, try clickin on FIFA or STARHUB

FUCK.. & I MEAN IT

FUCK.. & I MEAN IT


I'M MAD.. I'M FUCKIN MAD..! YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?? HERE'S WHY.. MY PATIENCE HAS ALMOST COMPLETELY REACHED ITS LIMITS.. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF YOU THINK THIS ENTRY IS FUCKIN FULL OF FUCK BECAUSE I DON'T CARE.. I DON'T FUCKIN CARE..! READ ON IF YOU WANT TO.. FUCK OFF IF YOU FUCKIN FEEL IT'S A FUCKIN WASTE OF TIME..!

FUCK, IT'S 24TH OF JUNE..! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE IN FUCKIN PHUKET RIGHT NOW.. THAT'S RIGHT..! PHUKET..!, FUCKIN ENJOYIN MYSELF BUT NO..! MY FUCKIN LEGS JUST HAVE TO BE SO FUCKIN SICK & THAT MEANS I CAN'T FUCKIN TRAVEL..! IT'S NOT MY FUCKIN FAULT THAT THE FUCKIN DOCTORS INSIST THAT I STAY IN THE FUCKIN BODY CAST FOR A FUCKIN 3 MONTHS..! OH RIGHT.. IT WAS MY FUCKIN FAULT THAT I HAD TO FUCKIN FALL.. I MIGHT AS WELL FUCKIN DIED IN THAT FUCKIN FALL..!

OH HECK..! WHO CARES ANYWAY..? WELL FUCKIN NO ONE..! WHO WILL GIVE A FUCK TO THE FUCKIN GIRL IN THE FUCKIN CAST WHO CAN'T FUCKIN WALK??? no FUCKIN one I TELL YOU..! FIRST I CAN'T FUCKIN GO TO SCHOOL & THEN I'M TOLD THAT I CAN'T FUCKIN WORK UNTIL I'VE FUCKIN FULLY RECOVERED.. & NOW I CAN'T FUCKIN TRAVEL?? WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO FUCKIN DO?? ROT & DIE IN MY FUCKIN, STINKIN ROOM??

TODAY I HAD PLANNED OUT A "SIBLINGS DAY" BUT IT GOT FUCKIN RUINED.. THOUGHT I'D FUCKIN GO HAVE MY HAIR CUT TODAY BUT THAT GOT FUCKIN RUINED TOO..! SO I GOT EXCITED BECAUSE I FUCKIN THOUGHT I COULD AT LEAST GET TO SEE THE HOUSE IN JOHOR NOW THAT IT'S FUCKIN READY BUT FUCKIN NO..! THAT GOT RUINED TOO..! EVEN THE FUCKIN PLAN TO GO TO THE CHALET GOT FUCKIN CANCELLED BECAUSE OF THE FUCKIN JOHOR TRIP THAT NEVER FUCKIN HAPPENED..! & GUESS WHAT? I JUST REALISED I'M FUCKIN BROKE BECAUSE OF THE FUCKIN HOPITAL BILLS & MY HANDPHONE IS STILL FUCKIN STUCK WITH THE SHOP & I CAN'T FUCKIN DO ANYTHIN ABOUT IT..!

3 FUCKIN MONTHS I'VE TOLERATED BEING CAST AWAY BY PEOPLE I CALLED & THOUGHT WERE MY FRIENDS.. 3 FUCKIN MONTHS I'VE ENDURED BEING BY MYSELF, KNOWIN THAT EVERYTHIN HAPPENED FOR A FUCKIN REASON.. NOW IT FUCKIN FEELS LIKE THERE'S NOTHIN FUCKIN WORTH TO LOOK FORWARD TO.. 3 FUCKIN MONTHS I'VE TRIED TO BE FUCKIN STRONG, TRIED TO FUCKIN PULL MYSELF TOGETHER THROUGH THIS FUCKIN ORDEAL BUT I GUESS TODAY I HAVE TO FUCKIN LET EVERYTHIN GO & FUCKIN FALL INTO THIS FUCKIN STATE..

IF YOU FUCKIN THINK THAT I'M MAKIN A BIG FUCKIN FUSS OVER THESE, THEN THINK AGAIN.. TRY BEING IN MY FUCKIN SHOES, BEING FUCKIN STUCK AT HOME, CAN'T FUCKIN WALK & FRIENDS LEAVIN YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKIN SICK & STUCK IN A FUCKIN BODY CAST.. NOBODY FUCKIN LOVES ME ANYMORE.. NOBODY FUCKIN CARES..

OH FUCK LOVE..! I HATE BEING FUCKIN ME..! I REALLY WISHED I HAD FUCKIN DIED IN THE FUCKIN FALL..!

emotional rants..?

emotional rants..?


currently listenin to: George Michael & Mary J Blige - Always

my whole body's achin.. probably from the physiotherapy that i had last tuesday.. my deflector shield's gone now so be totally prepared for the grumpy, easily-annoyed, short-tempered me but it's probably temporary because of the new changes that my body is tryin to adapt to once again..

had a "sisters' day out" [well not quite..] & i had great fun just being outdoors with my sister although we didn't get to go shoppin like we had planned initially.. will make up for it.. maybe will have a "siblings weekend" this saturday.. hehehe~

my insticts were right.. that girl aZMaN was with IS his ex-fiancee.. thanks HaiZiR for confirmin my suspicions.. jeez.. i know how much she hates me but he could have told me that they got back together rather than just ignore my msgs.. if he had told me, i would have backed off like i did a few years ago.. what was he thinkin, leavin me in the dark like that? he should know better that i will know these things whether or not i was told but no matter what, i hope things will work out between them once again..

speakin of HaiZir, he's put me in charge of the BinTan TriP.. *SiGh* this is what happens when you have a friend who works his ass off & doesn't have time to look up information for these things.. BUT, on the bright side, i get to go for free..! the trip's on him if i can plan it out nicely.. khehehe~ i really don't know what goes on in his head.. he must be really crazy.. wait a minute.. what am i sayin? most of my friends ARE crazy so i guess that's pretty normal.. oh well, i shall continue my quest to plan out the BinTan TriP.. [please be reminded that i have nvr travelled outside of s'pore with the exception of m'sia..]

i received a call from Nokia Care & they told me that it'll cost me a freakin $150 to get my phone repaired..! where the f*ck am i going to get that money?? i knew i should have bought a new handphone 2 months ago.. i love my 7610 & it's hard for me to replace it with a new one.. gosh.. solutions anyone?

Good Bye my CasTy-McWraPs-a-LoT..

goodbye my CasTy-McWraPs-a-LoT


currently listenin to: Alicia Keys ft. Usher - If I Ain't Got You

we have been together for quite a while now.. through rain & shine, through ups & downs, you've always been there for me & stood by [erm.. with] me.. i can't believe that we have to part.. you've held me up & gave me support through this hard time.. it gives me great pain to see you being taken away from me.. when i saw you standin there all by yourself, it makes me so sad knowin that we shall never see each other again.. you shall be missed & do know that you will always be in my thoughts & i will never ever forget you.. good bye my beloved CasTy-McWraPs-a-LoT a.k.a "CorSeT"..

WooHoo..! at long last..! i'm FREE..!!! ahh.. you don't know how relieved & overjoyed i am today.. why? because it's De Custard Day..! but the sad news is that MuM's not lettin me go to school until october.. i'll try to talk to her & see if she'll change her mind.. i mean, i can't afford to delay my studies.. i've already missed this term's classes & if i missed next term, it simply means i'll be graduatin in june 2007..! talk about being a professional student..!

oh yes, aZiLaH's weddin.. almost forgot about that.. yeah, i went to her weddin with iDaDi & sTeVe.. we didn't take a lot of photos that day.. it was like an anxiety thingy.. when i saw her, in her dress, i was just so stunned & so happy that takin photos were really the last thing on my mind.. i'm so happy for her.. she's now married..! [i still can't believe it..] congratulations my dear..

ode to my sister


currently listenin to: Jason Mraz - Please Don't Tell Her

i don't believe this.. another 3 more days?? haha..!~ please, please, pretty PLEASE remove the cast.. it's wearin me out..! & you want to know somethin? i'm 56 kg with the cast..! it's either the cast weighs between 4 to 6 kg OR i've put on weight..

guess i'm the only SinGLes_OuT who is still single.. sweet! it shall remain that way.. it feels so ironic though.. one of these days i'll explain why..

i just want to say that i'm very, very proud of my sister.. through this hard time, she probably doesn't realise it but she has been such a great daughter & sister.. that is why i love her so much.. yes she complains & grumbles when i ask her for favours but that's pretty normal between us.. she cleans our room herself [when normally we would share the chore], she cooks, cleans the house, the laundry & does other stuffs too.. she deserves the overnight bbq & she should fully enjoy herself.. i'm really glad i have her for my sister.. my cute, adorable sister..

sympathy card


currently listenin to: Craig David - Unbelievable

darn it.. my feet hurts.. the right foot's swellin.. it has been a very busy week for me.. *SiGh* heck..! it doesn't bother me really.. was just pullin out a sympathy card.. haha!~

aZiLaH's weddin will be in a couple of days' time.. i'm really lookin foward to being there.. gosh.. i wonder who i'll bump into at the weddin.. probably some past ex-es & crushes & those other guys but i don't really care.. i hope to see those old school friends that i've not met.. i should prepare a "it-definitely-is-not-my-turn-next" speech just in case..

i love my mOtherS.. they know me so well that i sometimes think they have physic powers.. Sayang MuM & MaMa..! MuM gave me some ideas for my BeaCh Day.. she got me some stuffs for BeaCh Day too.. cool..! now i'm just waitin for BaBa's "clear-to-go" permit..

hey..! i've missed you my friend..! i'm glad to know everythin worked out well for school.. i'm really happy to hear about your pendin new job too.. guess you must be feelin excited about it eh..? still have a lot to ask & tell you but i just don't know where to start..! maybe i was just surprised when you acknowledged my presence.. thank you so much.. *MuakZ!*

my baby 7610 is still unwell but high chances i'll be bringin it in for servicin later.. can't wait for De Custard Day..! 5 days & countin..

family fun/egocentricity


currently listenin to: Shirley Bassey - (Where Do I Begin) Love Story

how nice.. the whole family was in front of the tv watchin the sweden match.. MuM's the most enthusiastic one.. wow..! i'm surprised she knows & recognises Beckham.. hehe~ so cute.. anyway, was so happy & proud to see that the referee for that match was a Singaporean Malay.. way to go..!

just somethin that i wanted to add on to my entry & off my mind.. some people really need to take a good look at themselves & listen to what they are talkin about to other people.. i have to admit, we humans have a tendency to be egocentric & self-centered but too much of it really can be annoyin.. some are just too blinded to even notice that they are being told of their self-centeredness..! these people are usually not sensitive to other people's feelings & that hurts.. to make it worse, some even enjoy talkin about themselves a lot..! really so sad..

& there are those who try very hard to fit in by pretendin to be someone they are not.. why can't you just be yourself? afraid society will not be able to accept you? afraid that you will be labelled as 'The Outcast'? maybe you have personality issues.. seek professional help, please..

please take a minute to ponder & if you feel that you are like one of the above [or both], do bear in mind that others [family & friends] are human & have feelings too.. you are not the only one livin in this world.. please be considerate.. thank you..

my other darlin 'J'


currently listenin to: Misha Omar - Bunga-Bunga Cinta

i missed the england match but it's ok.. got my channel 27 so that means i get to watch the holland match tomorrow..! yeah..! kind of just got back from MI:3.. it was a nice movie but i still don't get the plot.. *thinks hard* jonathan rhys-myers is SuPeR-uBBeR CuTe..! especially when he spoke italian.. *drools*

sad news.. the kitty that Dave picked out for me to kitty-sit died.. a very tragic, tragic news.. i couldn't eat my waffle when i heard it but i thought of how peaceful it was now with God & that my waffle will turn soggy if i didn't finish it, i kind of got over it.. but i still am devastated with the news.. reminded me of the first kitten that i brought home.. it was really, really young & the eyes were still closed..! i can still remember it being the size of my palm [that was how small it was..!].. i took it home with me & tried to feed it milk but it died the following day.. i cried for almost 3 days & didn't forgive myself for its death.. from then on, i told myself that for every kitten that i brought home, i will give it my extra attention..

match is on.. later..

great 1st match..!


currently listenin to: Antonio Banderas - Bella Maria De Mi Alma

yeah germany won.. hehe.. great start..! it was borin though because i watched it alone.. *SiGh* but it's all good BUT now i have to wait a few days for channel 27.. darn it..! holland match tomorrow @ 9pm.. where can i watch it? i missed MI:3 yesterday because of a silly fever but will make up for it today.. my "favourite" grandaunt is comin today.. oh boy.. another drama awaits..

my dear 7610 is broken.. it has gone "blind".. *sob sob* need to send it for servicin & probably will get aYuL to help me with that or if she's too lazy, FauZi's volunteered to help me.. was so glad to hear him soundin more cheerful last night.. it's much better than the wednesday conversation when he sounded really, really upset.. cheer up my friend.. it's not the end of the world..

my thoughts & advice always comes from my initial gut feelings.. it sometime freaks people out & i can't figure out why.. hmm.. *scratches head*

another 10 more days till De Custard Day.. yippie..!

CT scan


currently listenin to: Jason Mraz - Bella Luna

hehehehe~ the CT scan this mornin was ok.. the room wasn't as pure white as the previous room when i had 1st my scan.. the nurse was nice too so everythin went well..

i miss my friend.. my far, far away friend.. wonder how's my friend doin now.. hopefully he's completed his studies already.. we've not heard from each other for more than a week.. *SiGh*

i miss my Singles_Out girls too.. i wonder how they are right now.. so near yet so far..

i miss D' Radio.. i miss hearin myself on air.. *that's my egocentric side talkin*

i miss RaJa & ZaLi.. my DiVa-licious "sisters".. they never fail to make me laugh my heart out.. busy with work eh? we shall find time to meet up for coffee.. i'll make sure of that..

i miss so many things..! thank goodness i don't miss myself too..! *yet another statement from the egocentric me* hehe~ now i tire easily & need lots of rest & sleep so i might not be online at night as often as usual.. my arms are achin a lot more than normal & my feet's plain lazy.. it sleeps & sleeps & complains of pain at times.. like as if i am goin to listen to it whine.. huh..

watched X-MEN III & i like it a lot [did i mention that today was MY egocentric day..?] *how nice..!* i wonder if they are goin to come up with another sequel..? well, anyway tomorrow will be MI:3.. just catchin up on my movie watchin.. it has been a long time.. i want to take this opportunity to say thank you to the guy at the cinema.. that was such a thoughtful thing you did & i shall make it a point to consider GV Marina as my 1st choice when i feel like watchin a movie.. good, friendly & thoughtful staff..

check up


currently listenin to: Ne-Yo - So Sick

yesterday.. check up.. everythin went very, very well considerin the fact that it was 060606 & i heard people sayin that it's not such a good day.. ah heck..! i don't really care.. thank you FauZi for comin to the hospital & accompanyin me throughout the therapy.. i really, really appreciate it.. *MuakZ!*

i loved dinner.. enjoyed myself a lot.. the silly conversations & the [normal] huge amount of food but yesterday's food order wasn't that large actually.. it was ok.. i'm surprised that not many people noticed it but it's all good.. hehehe~ hey..! we didn't take pictures..! that's SO wrong..!

tomorrow i have a ct scan appointment @ 10 in the mornin.. oh boy.. big white machine in a big white room.. scary.. 13 more days to De Custard Day & countin down as usual.. hooray..! khehehe.. i could be a professional counter or somethin..

my collections..


currently listenin to: Mary J Blige - Be Without You

yeah..! i've got The Nanny Diaries..! thanks sTeVe.. hehe~ i suddenly realise that i have stacks of books on my table & most of them have already been read.. oh heck.. i can start a library..! this excessive readin is good actually especially for me right now.. i tend to run out of ideas about what to do around the house & readin helps me pass my time..

my bears had a shower yesterday & were sun-tannin outside my window.. khehe~ here's group pictures of them..



i think i should take a picture of my books next.. maybe i should start a hobby of collectin things.. *monotonously* ha ha..

to LOVE or to be IN LOVE?


currently listenin to: Eve - No, No, No

did i mention i despise most of the guys in the whole wide world? let me make it clear now.. I HATE YOU IDIOTIC CREATURES..! i hope you all will die an insufferable death, may your carcass rot beyond recognition & hopefully nobody gives a damn about your demise..!

i received a phone call from aLeXiS who told me she saw aZMaN with another girl.. i don't know.. a part of me says 'That's great..' yet another part of me fell into a despair shock.. 1st he disappeared & next thing i hear he's with another girl.. *in a mockin tone* haha.. whatever.. at least i'm content to know he's still alive..

to be in love & to love are 2 different things.. guess i was just lovin him & not in love with him.. well, i love practically everyone i know be it family or friends.. thinkin back, i've made mistakes by claimin that i was in love with someone when in true reality i just love that person like how my true lovin self always does.. when was i ever in love? i don't know.. maybe i don't deserve to be in love..

i rest my case..

3 more days to check up..