LETTER FOR A SISTER..


SO U SAY U GUYS CARE? R U SURE? HAVE U GUYS EVER GIF A TOT ABT HOW I WOULD FEEL OR TINK..? HAF U GUYS EVER REALISED DAT I AM FAMILY..? U GUYS TINK I DO WATEVER I DID WITOUT TINKIN RYT..?I BET U DO.. WELL I DUN.. I HAF MY REASONS Y I DUN FOLLOW THE RULES AT HM..

SO U SAY DAT HE CARES & LUVS ME MORE DEN ANY OF U GUYS? R U SURE? HU IS THE ONE DAT HE DOTES UPON ALL THE TYM? HU IS THE ONE HU DOESNT GET SCOLDIN FOR SCORIN BADLY IN THE EXAMS? WUZ DAT ALL ME..? I DUN TINK SO.. COUNT URSELVES LUCKY DAT BOTH UR CHILDHOODS WUZ MORE COLOURFUL DEN MYN.. COUNT URSELVES LUCKY DAT U DIDNT HAF TO FACE THE CANE EVERY SINGLE DAY OF UR CHILDHOOD.. SKUL FEES..? HE TOLD ME HE'S NO LONGER PAYIN FOR MY SKUL FEES.. THANX A LOT.. I WILL TRY TO FIND MY MEANS, I'LL TINK OF SUMTHIN.. U WANT ME TO PONDER ABT Y I BLAME HIM WEN I MADE A MISTAKE..? HU'S THE ONE HU MADE THE MISTAKE IN THE 1ST PLC..? SO HE TINKS DAT I DIDN'T LUK FOR A JOB..? TINK AGAIN.. U TINK I LYK ASKIN HIM FOR MONEY..? ALL THROUGHOUT MY ENTIRE SKUL LIFE UP TILL O'BRIENS, HAF I EVER TROUBLED HIM FINANCIALLY..? EVEN WEN HE BORROWED FR ME, HAF I EVER ASKED FOR IT BACK..? PLEASE PONDER & TELL ME.. I'M JUZ CURIOUS.. Y DOES HE LYK TO PICK ON ME..? I MEAN, WAT IS PAST HAS PASSED.. I'M NO LONGER THE PERSON I WUZ BEFORE SO Y IS HE STILL PICKIN ON ME..? SO MANY TYMS I'VE CHANGED JUZ SO WE WON'T FIGHT BUT THERE IS ALWAYS SUMTHIN ABT ME DAT BOTHERS HIM SO MUCH DAT HE HAS TO QUARREL WIT ME..

I LUV HER A LOT.. EVEN IF SHE DOESN'T TREAT ME AS WELL AS SHE TREATS U, I STIL LUV HER.. EVEN WEN SHE DOESN'T WANNA TALK TO ME LYK HOW SHE TALKS TO U, I STIL LUV HER.. EVEN WEN SHE DOESN'T COME TO MY DEFENSE WEN HE BEATS ME UP LYK CRAP, I STIL LUV HER.. EVEN WEN SHE ALMOST MADE ME A CRIPPLE & BROKE MY BACK, I STIL LUV HER.. IT'S NOT THE PRESENTS DAT I WAN ON MY B'DAY, I JUZ WANNA BE TREATED JUZ AS EQUAL..

I TRIED TO BOND WIT HIM CUZ HE'S MY BROTHER.. I LUV HIM CUZ HE'S THE ONLY BROTHER I HAF.. I HAF NVR TREAT HIM BAD.. I DUN TINK I EVER DID.. I KIP MY DISTANCE AT TYMS BCUZ I DIDN'T WAN TO INFLUENCE HIM IN ANY BAD WAY.. HE'S THE ONE HU DOESN'T WANNA TALK TO ME.. HE'S THE ONE HU DOESN'T WANNA OPEN UP.. I WATCHED BOTH OF U GROW UP & IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME DAT U GUYS R CLOSE CUZ DATS HOW U GUYS HAF BEEN SINCE SMALL.. IT MAKES ME VERY HAPPY JUZ TO C THE BOTH OF U CLOSE.. I DUN ASK FOR MUCH..

I SWEAR I LUV U THE MOST OF ALL THE MEMBERS IN THE HSE.. U NOE I DO.. EVEN WEN U DUN COME TO MY RESCUE WEN I NEEDED U, I STIL LUV U.. I HAF NVR DISCRIMINATED U & I'M FLATTERED TO HEAR DAT U LUK UP TO ME ALTHO I NOE I'M JUZ A PIECE OF USELESS CRAP HU GETS ON EVERYONE'S NERVES & MAKE THEIR BLOOD BOIL.. TINK OF ALL THE TYMS I'VE COVERED UR ASS WEN U GOT INTO TROUBLE.. U NOE I WON'T LET ANYONE LAY A FINGER ON U.. NOT EVEN DAD.. WAT'S THE USE OF HAVIN THE BRAINS BUT NOBODY CARES..? I DUN CARE HOW OR WAT U R, U R STIL MY SISTER HU I LUV VERY MUCH & NO ONE CAN CHANGE DAT FACT.. WAT MAKES U TINK I BAD-MOUTHED U TO MY FRENS..? SUMTYMS I DO SAY NASTY THINGS BUT U NOE I DUN MEAN DEM & I SAY DEM SUMTYMS SO DAT U REALISE DAT U SHUD STOP LIVIN IN MY SHADOWS & B URSELF.. I CANNOT BE THERE FOR U ALL THE TYM & BACK U UP.. IT'S NOT DAT I DUN WANNA SHARE SECRETS WIT U BUT LUK AT URSELF IN THE MIRROR & TINK.. EVERYTYM I SHARE SUMTHIN WIT U, U ALWAYS SAY ALL THE NEGATIVE THINGS & U ALWAYS PUT ME DOWN.. HOW DO U TINK I FEEL..?

U GUYS ALWAYS BLAME ME FOR EVERTHIN DAT HAPPENS IN THE HSE.. HAF U ALSO STOPPED TO TINK WAT U GUYS HAF DONE..? OR SHUD I SAY HAF NOT DONE..? I'M THE BAD APPLE IN THE HSE.. I'M THE ONE HU 'BROKE-UP' THE FAMILY.. I'M THE ONE HU'S CAUSIN THE TROUBLE.. HAF U GUYS TOT ABT Y I BECAME LYK DAT..? IT'S SO EZ FOR U TO POINT UR FINGERS AT ME BUT HAF U ALSO SEEN WAT I HAF DONE FOR THE FAMILY..?

PLEASE.. I WANNA GO HOME.. I WAN EVERYTHIN TO BE NORMAL.. IS IT SO HARD..?

Merry Christmas..!


yeah.. i dun celebrate x'mas but Merry X'mas aniwae.. haf been takin dis tym to slack.. i mean rest at hm.. khehehe~

aniwae, before i forget, i better jot down my resolutions sumwhr.. well here goes, in the order of importance..

1 - get myself a job
2 - pay off my bills
3 - get my drivin license
4 - complete my Diploma course
5 - FINALLY find a REAL guy to settle down wit..

speakin of settle down, it's Karima's weddin tdy.. congratulations.. *WiNkZ*

dis is gonna be one memorable new year.. exactly a yr back, east coast, sittin by the beach, countin down till new year's day, HE proposed.. *SiGh* gotta do sumthin on new year's eve.. kip myself distracted fr those tots.. well, i'll be back later.. gonna watch sum tv..

my 'WAN'derful Grandma..


171205
0700hrs - Headed out. only had 2 person in mind at dat moment of tym n strangely, one of dem was NeLL.. geez.. why? I dunno.. juz kindda miss him after the msn conversations we xchanged of late.. crappy, nonsensical buddy of myn.. hehe..

1000hrs - Met my Uncle Man & headed straight to Auntie Yam's [aka aYuL's MuM] plc.. found out they were building new semi-ds ard her area & my parents r now in discussion to buy a hse there.. geez [again].. slacked till late & BaBa says we're goin to Auntie Sham's plc in Malacca next..

2230hrs - Reached Auntie Sham's plc.. slpy.. *YaWn* hhmmpphh.. no comments.. slpy.. really..

181205
1102 - Juz woke up.. reached Grandma's at 0130 dis morning.. everyone tried wakin me up but I juz pretended dat I didn't hear dem.. hehe.. I'm achin all over.. oh well..

1612 - All set now.. we're headin to Ulu Bentong, a 15 mins drive fr Grandma's.. I dunno how to describe the plc but u'll c it in the pics later..

1900 - Back.. Very tired but had a great tym.. ;) hehehe~ the water wuz darn cold..! almost froze wen my feet touched the water..

191205
1000 - Hmm.. an hr earlier den ystrday.. we're goin visitin tdy.. heard there's a possibility we're goin hm tdy.. hhmmm...

1645 - We're at Grandma's 2nd sister's hse, 1/2 an hr ride fr her plc.. been here since 1400.. myt not be goin hm tdy.. sadness..

201205
0750 - Awake.. WoW..! hehehe~ & no one woke me up.. ;) guess the excitement is too overwhelmin.. can't wait to be back..

1140 - Got back fr class.. [i went straight to class the moment we reached mind u..] saw my frens online.. I MISH U GUYS..!

40.0 degrees..


YEAH..! assignments all done & submitted..! FINALLY..

found out dat now many ppl has dis perception dat i'm datin RuSHy.. oh dear.. RuSHy.. RuSHy.. he makes it so real dat i dunno how i'm gonna get out of dis one.. hmmm...

i did sumthin silly last saturday.. wuz so pissed wit HIM at hm dat i took off & went drinkin.. bodoh kan? a drink too many & there i wuz, flyin witout wings... hehehehe~ BUT i did not trouble anyone.. thank goodness.. sober up in the afternoon at abt 3pm & felt zombie-ish.. broke one of my pacts.. sheesh.. things lukin rough for me.. no HP, no internet [sumtyms, at hm..] & no one at hm [but my sis] is talkin to me for some reason.. *SiGh*

haf been eatin a lot lately.. hung out wit sTeve, GreG & aLeXis a lot toO.. speakin of which, GreG leaves on the 20th.. funny fella.. hehehe~ gonna miss him wen he's gone.. felt feverish last wednesday & yesterday was a high of 40.0 degrees.. felt better tdy & temp is currently at 37.2 as i type dis.. aniwae, leavin for grandma's at 10 later.. will b back on the 20th, hopefully in tym for SBS class..

aite gonna leave u guys wit pics of MORE food..!

assignments.. tsk..




yeap.. dats my shoe's heel.. it came off even before i went for the hari raya outin wit aYuL, her guy & his frens... hehehe~

aniwae, met up wit sTevie & DaVe yesterday for dinner.. well, DaVe got sort-of promoted so i asked him for a treat.. hehe~ thick-skinned me.. thank u guy for dinner.. njoyed myself very much & thank u sTevie for the indepth tots on SPGs..

my assignments ARE NOT COMPLETED YET..!!! AARRRGGGHHH..!! stressed out wit no job, no luv, no life.. aniwae, i shall leave u peeps wit the food we had yesterday..

Beef Rendang


BBq Stingray


Chap Chye


[The Not-So-Tasty] Soon Hock with Soya & Garlic Sauce

fill 'em up


so many things, so little lines.. bear wit me guys..

the suckiest Raya so far.. pictures up so help urself to the sad little pictures.. it wuz so sucky dat i went out wit aYuL's frens [erm.. actually aYuL's guy's skulmates..] who we dun noe.. but thanx aniwae SiS for being so thoughtful.. luv u lots.. to all frens: next yr aite..? disappointment.. aniwae, attended dJ RuSHy's open hse on the 26th last mth.. thanx RuSH..

MuM's buggin me abt marriage.. no Ma, u betta stop it.. i'm not gettin married [yet..] cuz i'm not ready.. damm.. she's scarin me wit the 'M' word.. she kips tinkin dat HeLMy [my SBS classmate] is my guy wen he actually is not.. Ma, reali, stop it.. i mean it..! speakin of which, classes r almost comin to the end.. Human & Mass Communication [HMC] class will end on the 12th & Social Behavioural Studies [SBS] class will end on the 23rd.. i haf a very long way to get my diploma & after which i'm tinkin of continuin wit the advanced diploma.. *SiGh*

found a part-tym job juz for this december.. helpin out at a gift/flower shop as an admin asst.. betta den nuthin ryt..? i finally handed over my SingPost werk pass & collected the remains of my stuff back at the office.. suddenly, i miss the plc, my pals at werk & especially my best fren, iDaDi..

went to watch Chicken Little [he's kindda cute..] wit HeLMy juz now & after which we went to esplanade to catch Lovehunters' performance.. damm..! the vocalist [yaZiD] literally took my breath away..! swept me off my feet..! *DrooLs..* hehehe~ he wuz gd, well the trio wuz gd.. WoW..! wud luv to c him perform again.. met up wit aYuL & NaD & headed hm after..

suddenly most of my ex-es r in contact wit me.. hhmmm..

- FiE
- FaiZaL [mD]
- aZHaR
- NaS [well i wudn't consider him but can also lah..]