Day 1, Step 1

     All in all, it has been a little over 2 years since I last wrote anything about myself at all because there has been no need for me to actually do so. However, in two years things have changed, I have had numerous setbacks and growths to achieve my goals. I am currently experiencing a potentially devastating setback and as such, I have found a need to use this blog yet again.

Day 1, Step 1 
~Counting 10 blessings in my life 
1. I am truly grateful for the opportunity to be able to study abroad in KL
because thanks to this opportunity I come to know some truly great friends, and rediscover equally great friends from the past, I grew and become more learned in life and I love the liveliness that is Kuala Lumpur.

2. I am so happy and grateful that games exist
because if I had not know or like games at all, I would have never know and become close to my close friends, nor would I have found a channel to direct my destructive impulses

3. I am truly blessed to be able to choose and plan my own course of education
because over the course of choosing and planning I discover knowledge, training and opportunities I can come to love, understand and apply in my daily life, for myself or for others whom I came to love and cherish.

4. I am truly blessed for having a resilient and adaptable body
because over the course of 5 years living alone, never once have I fallen into any major, devastating sickness despite the overly abundant snacking on unhealthy food and the lack of exercise.

5. I am so happy and grateful for the gadgets, computers I own
because if I don't have them, I would not have any idea where to spend my time when I'm bored, all the convenience they offered as well as the opportunity to gain more data and knowledge I'm interested in.

6. I am truly grateful that I actually have a job now
because ... I HAVE A JOB! even if the job is not what I wanted, I'm still grateful for it that I am not loitering around doing nothing, the responsibility of having a job is what have been keeping me sane for the past 8 months.

7. With all my heart, thank you for awkward, odd, incomprehensible twist of fate with Miang
because in my 25 years of life, never have I known someone for such a short 2 years, yet it feels as if we have known, understand and support each other as if we've known each other all our life. A friend, a sister, a critic, a support, a co-conspirator all in one package.

8. I am truly blessed for being able to analyze, understand and being so damn good at playing games
because if there's anything I am proud of, is my ability to make in-game currency lots and lots of it on the tips  of my fingers.

9. I am thankful that I am attached and feel attached to a stray cat whom our family feed, bath and care for 
because whenever I feel that I am lonely, or brooding or at the bottom of my confidence, he has always without fail cheer me up or simply come about and sleep nearby or on me as if saying "I'm here with you"

10. I am truly happy and grateful for the short 3 hours I spent alone without anybody today within 50m
because I needed and wanted to reassert, analyze, correct, and reflect upon myself without the thought that the next 15 minutes I am going to get pestered.

Arigatou, Arigatou, Arigatou, Arigatou, Arigatou, Arigatou, Arigatou, Arigatou, Arigatou, Arigatou

Sincerely,
Nicky

a Long, long... bolong

I was once told by a certain someone that

"If you think you like the girl and the girl likes you, then go for it"
(the best thing to happen?)

"If you think you like the girl and the girl doesn't like you, still go for it!"
(better fail than never huh?)

"If you think that you don't like the girl but the girl likes you, well flip a coin, head means yes, and tail means yes"
(whatever goes i guess?)

"If you think that you don't like the girl and the girl doesn't like you either! then don't go"

moral of the story, resolve your heart before going for it.

Here I go again

Now, I recalled an interesting bit of "wisdom" that a taxi driver once told me...

" Don't think that it's hard, it depends on your heart =)"

what do you think?

From to 2009 to 2010

I realized i haven't update this blog for a long time, but i didn't want to kill it. Anyhow, keeping things short let's see what resolution should I make for this year.
1. less junk food?
2. update the blog once a week
3. insert more food for thought
4. graduate by this year!
okay i think four is enough

anyway, today's food for thought is ... ... ...
alright, let's look at chinese family's tendency to "compare" A person to B person, and let out comments that say "hey u know that A's son/daughter is so smart? A's son has so and so and bla and bla". And mind this, apparently this only applies to from the higher authority figure to the lower. like from Mom/Dad to their children. Odd as it is, why cant we(the children) do it the other way round? like, "hey u know, A's dad/mom is so and so and bla and bla, B's parents are so x x x" but apparently we didn't do that, instead we say "oh i envy you so much T.T, switch parents please"

What do you think?

Nick Wij. I. Stress

Now note the title of this post. Yes, it's a ripped off a movie's title. No, i don't care of it as it is, as it clearly states the state of my mental state. I -> Stress

Now repeat after me, "I stress" yes yes, good work once more. Now now, no "!xo" infront of the word "I", yes yes. good job. I stress.

Now, being a psychology student, I have studied a number of cases of Stress disorder in my Abnormal Psychology class I suppose it's time to finally apply this knowledge into the current setting.

I shall not delve deep into the symptoms specific as recorded in DSM IV TR(or V in the near future), We shall simplify it using PPP model (Predisposing, Precipitating and Perpetual)
Let's start with it then
Predisposing Factor: Pre-existing Vulnerability. So this basically means that I have a vulnerability in certain areas/traits that will most likely causes me to be exposed to stress more than other people.... In this case? It's simply... Procrastination. Simple responses such as : "I am lazy", "I don't care"... -.-

Precipitating Factor: The recent triggering event. Now of this, it's a long story but this is one thing I could say. The triggering event build overtime. Just like how you collect water from a dripping well drop by drop, when the jar is filled and it overflows, BOOOOOM! This triggers my stress, in my case... the barring list -.-

Perpetual Factor: Perpetual literally means Eternal, Neverending, so what this means to a person having a stress is that there's something that is prolonging the stress, or prevent the person from solving the root of the problem leading to stress. Now i have not been able to identify this, however I know that I am currently under tremendous stress... I need to have a breather really bad.

Okay. Stop. Forget about stress. Refocus. Back to assignment.
Analysis discontinued.