Japanese name?

Well.. This is my Japanese name..

秋本 Akimoto (autumn book) 久美子 Kumiko (eternal beautiful child)

Seriously... I think it sux... 久美子 = very 'song'! (Sounds like some character in a typical Japan horror flick..) Damn... and it doesn't make any sense how I ended up having the same jap surname as Ray.. Erm, I really don't see how Loo (呂) can be the same as Cai (蔡)..

Think I'll stick to being called Ke Ying... (at least it's in the dictionary...)

Starting work...

Zim's starting work tmr.. finally~ Sigh, having mixed feelings abt it. On one side, I'm looking forward to it...

Why?

The "Zim-is-starting-work-theory" (Loo, 2005):

Start work on Aug 1st --> Pay day on the 12th ($$$$) --> Able to buy more things for KeY (Muhahahahahaha)

However, on the other hand, I'm quite concerned abt the time we have together in future. Since we met, making time for each other has never been an issue ...(Since uni life is rather slack and Zim's NS is almost non-exsistent..) So, I guess this is going to be a new challenge for the relationship! We will probably end up becoming a weekend couple. At least it's rather consoling to know that, Less time together = more time for school work! (*PUI!*)... (damn it... it's a sign telling me that it's time to study!!!)

"Sorry, saturdays are out.. Erm.. it's BOYFRIEND day.."

BAd BAd BAd

4 more days to the due of my placement assignment and once again, I'm breaking down...

I am feeling so helpless nowadays! I'm becoming overly dependent on Zim! Turning to him like a helpless idiotic baby, who can do nothing but whine and cry... (*PUI*) I hate myself for being that. I used to take pride in my own independence, being able to survive alone and able to achieve a good grade with my own effort. I had confidence in my own abilities... But now... I can't. I don't believe in my own capability any more. I am so used to turning to Zim for help, that I can't help myself anymore!

Somehow, I'm wondering, is this because of my low self-esteem, that I can no longer believe in myself? (Espeically when there is someone for me to fall back to...) Have being too relient made me crippled?

*Dear Zim, I am not blaming you for this. I totally appreciate everything you've done for me! (Although I won't deny that I'm still cursing and swearing abt why I wasn't born with your intelligence level...) But I believe that i need to pull myself back and be able to stand on my own feet!

I need to stand up on my own feet again! I need to be independent! I need to break away frm being dependent! I am KE YING! I can do it... and I WILL do it...

For now... I think I need a break...
*Yawn*

Bintan Pictures!

Bintan's "Visitor Centre" - The only place where we can spend at ease.. (it's in Sing $$)

We managed to get the ground floor room with a beautiful garden view~ (hehe.. but chose to keep the sliding closed lest mosquitoes come and sting us!)

Swimming pool and sea view... Hehe, that's where we spent our time tanning..

hehe... my little babies came along for the trip! (Obviously~)