26Jun’21
Feeling super fatigue & exhausted lately. Nauseous & period late for 5 days, my ex-colleague msg me & ask if I am pregnant yet, my sis told me her best friend water broke. I’m like, is this a sign? & decided to test at night just for a piece of mind. Bought a test kit using foodpanda app. Can’t believe we hit a double line. My first response was denial & tears because both of us know now is not a good time to have a baby.
30Jun’21
Still in denial, hoping the last test was a mistake so we tested again, still double line. Just nice hubby is on leave & we went to see a doctor at cck polyclinic for referral to KKH. Waited for so long yet they did not test me because no point since I’ve already tested twice at home. Was told am 5 & half weeks pregnant & the miscarriage + downsyndrome risks we will be facing as I am currently a high risk mummy. Received folic acid for baby growth.
5Jul’21
6 weeks into pregnancy. Just nice hubby on leave again. Spent 3hrs plus in KKH, we hit our 1st hiccup during ultrasound, the scan truly hurts like a bitch, my tummy now is really sensitive to pressure so is my chest *nervous laugh. Baby is too small to be seen on screen, just a big black hole of yolk sac. 2nd hiccup at check up station, my blood pressure hit 133 & 135. Both nurses got looks on their faces that I don’t understand why. She ask me to go out have a stroll calm down before retaking & said if more than 130 is consider high & may need to admit me. That got me even more nervous & shot up to 155. Damn. Doc told us miscarriages are very common & is not my fault, maybe just like heads up for us because of my age. Can’t believe we were the last to leave the clinic. Damage: $53.40
23Jul’21
Week 8 into pregnancy. Today we had an early KKH appointment at 8.30am in the morning, mummy asked where we were heading & had to come up with a lie saying we’re going to the bank. Was excited to see baby, because baby doesn’t have a heartbeat during the last scan. Sometimes I also don’t feel as pregnant so thought maybe a failed pregnancy? This time we could clearly see baby’s silouette & also a flickering heartbeat! Truly amazed how he/she managed to survive in my tummy, like growing healthily inside me when I did absolutely nothing to keep it in. Was still having my coffees, hair dye & gel nails *nervous laugh. Since baby is determined to stay, I shall eat my prenatal vitamins diligently. Another hiccup at blood pressure, again I was 135.. Was asked to relax & take again, luckily 130 passed! This time round they made me collected alot of prenatals, wanted me to do a blood test & take a influenza vaccine. When we thought we could leave early today, haha fat hope. Didn’t manage to take blood test cause I need at least 10 weeks into pregnancy. Took the influenza vaccine shot, not painful & doc said I need to wait 14 days to take covid vaccine so that part have to wait. Damage: $55.12
12Aug’21
Week 11 into pregnancy. Used to drink coffee everyday at least 4 cups a day before my pregnancy & now I’m not a fan anymore, non-decaf coffees or generally kopis make me gag. I craved for weird things like boiled eggs, peanut butter bread or curry puffs *nervous laugh. Last 2 weeks were hell of a ride. When you think dramas depicting pregnancies like vomitting all the time is just plain exagerating & fuck no it was not. Am relatively good at controlling my morning sickness nausea during early pregnancy by forcing to keep it all in, just mostly patting my chest all the time to release stomach wind, sleeping sitting up & napping so effing much, finishing up 3 bottles of medicated oil & at week 9 I lost control of my body. I vomitted at least 2-3 times every single day. I vomit before I eat, vomit after I eat, I vomit as & when my body feel like purging it out of the system, I feel like vomitting 24/7, I have no fking control it just attack suddenly & make sure to have plastic bags always ready in the room in case I gagged. I would wake up at 4am in the morning without fail vomitting in my room because there was literally not enough time for me to run to the nearest toilet.
Week 10, we took our Moderna vaccines. Felt absolutely horrible, the nausea & vomitting screwed my life so bad felt as if the baby was trying to kill me literally, cried sometimes not very dramatic as I know as hard as it is for me, hubby needs to adjust himself to accept the existance of our baby. My day to day activities were heavily affected by the state of my health, hubby has to do most of the work for me & trying his best to keep it together. Did I mention how many times I need to pee in a day? I’m good at holding my pee before pregnancy & now, I need to pee every half an hour. If we go out for grocery shopping just for a while & I was already hurrying him because I need to freaking pee. Now I can’t sleep more than 2-3 hours straight because I need to wake up & pee + vomit YET AGAIN.
20 Aug’21
Week 12 into pregnancy. It’s been 3 very tough months. No signs of improvement for my morning sickness. Really sick & tired of this cycle. I told hubby I needed a break, couldn’t take it anymore & we closed the shop for 4 days so I can catch my breath.
12 Sep’21
Week 15 into pregnancy. Last 3 weeks everything was going downhill so fast & we cancelled all routine appts & went for counselling. After rounds of heart to heart talks with hubby, we finalized our decision by buying our 1st piece of clothing for baby at Uniqlo. Because we had missed so many scans & tests, I haven’t seen baby for 7 weeks. 5Sep we went for our 2nd dose of Moderna vaccine & had sore arms, 4 rounds of fever, itching at injection area & constant headaches. 8Sep we went back to KKH & resumed my routine check ups, took a blood test & they drew 4 tubes of blood from me. Hubby also need to take blood test, finally 1st time he need to contribute something too. We went for another round of counselling, this time hubby opt for the $750 harmony test to test for any genetic disorder & gender reveal. The doc sensed I was so disappointed as there weren’t slot available for scan, I needed a latest scan as I am approaching 4 months, my belly is growing so big everyday & it’s time to announce to everyone. She assured me baby’s fine in my tummy with the doppler & 1st time I can hear baby’s heartbeat loud & clear. We can only know the results during our next doctor visit which is 5 weeks later.
Hubby promised to break the news today to our families as it is his off day. I had broke the news earlier to Irene & my sister & each time they make me feel so touched & I teared like crazy. Today hubby folded my ultrasound in a piece of baby’s romper & handed it over to mummy & daddy during our Sunday family night dinner. Haha silly me started to cry & feeling very overwhelmed & I hoped everyone’s happy as I had hid this secret in my belly for too long. Now I feel relieved, very blessed & fortunate I am able to experience all these because of choosing a right partner. Thank you hubby for going through everything with me. Damage: $874.62
30 Sep’21
Week 18 into pregnancy. I’ve been having lower abdominal pains & cramps after I scrubbed the toilet & it’s been 2 days, was very worrried, I tried to lie down as much as I can but still experience light bleeding today. Baby please be patient & stay in my tummy ok, we’ve 5 more months to go & we already bought your bed & trying to get everything ready for your arrival.
15 Oct’21
Week 20 into pregnancy. Hubby last min couldn’t accompany me for my KKH appt, was really upset because it’s the 1st time he’s not joining me, most mummies always got their partner with them & moreover this appt is very important, we have not seen baby since week 7, that’s almost 3 months! & this full head to toe detailed scan will take very long too as is for gender reveal. Was quite lost & nervous alone as this time is at level 2 ADC & not the familiar level 1. Noone was there to share my joy of seeing baby siloutte for the first time, no words can describe my feelings of happiness for seeing baby so well & healthy, kicking strongly in my belly & watching it real time on the screen! I could see baby facial features, looking alot like me! I get to see all of baby’s vital organs working fine with good blood flow & when the moment comes, the doctor ask if I would like to know the gender, my heart was beating so damn fast, I wish hubby was there to hold my hand, all the different emotions running through my mind, no matter its a boy or girl I will still love baby with all my heart & then she broke the news to me…… IT’S A GIRL! Omg! God must have heard Kurt prayers, he wanted a little girl so much, I felt instant relieve I manage to fulfil his dreams! I saw her little genitals, saw her tiny mouth suckling & her tiny little fingers covering & brushing her face, her tiny little feets, aww I will never forget how small little things like having her being a healthy baby living in me means so much to me.. Greatest gift ever.. Doctor couldn’t scan her heart as she’s really tired & facing downwards to sleep, guess because I was up all night the day before crying from being upset, doc suggested I go walk around & catch a breakfast or have ice milo to wake baby up. Went downstairs to buy a drink & quickly called Hubby to inform him on the good news. Had to scan 2 more times still couldn’t get to scan her heart properly cause I went with an empty bladder & she is still sleeping.. Whole scan took 2 hours before I was sent to room 18 for routine blood pressure, height & weight. No hubby beside me make me really nervous my pressure shot up to 155, 140, 147 & finally 125, what a ride. Went to room 7, doctor gave me the harmony test results which we waited for 5 weeks & noone care to reveal to us. Results tally with scan, its a healthy baby girl, no downsyndrome! Really a very happy day for us to reveal the gender to our families & closest friends. Baby girl we will always love you, my little princess. Damage: $75.90
23 Oct’21
Week 21 into pregnancy. Baby kicks are getting more frequent & stronger everyday. She’s kicking up a storm nonstop, sometimes she kick so hard it hurts & I had to lie down to prevent her from kicking my bladder. I peed even much more frequently lately, from every 2 hours interval down to an hour. Today hubby is on leave & we spent the whole day setting up her nursery. Had to shift all the business stocks to our own room & clear up a space in her room for the baby cot. Really very satisfied to see her room coming together, it’s becoming more & more realistic, we’re really having a baby & going to become parents. Like a huge step into adulthood hand in hand with hubby. Received so many gifts for baby & they helped striking off most of the things we need in the baby check list, helps relieve alot my anxiety. We’re not rich so every help counts. 5 months plus into pregnancy, another 4 more to go. We’re seeing baby girl real soon, wish to get everything prepared for her arrival because my tummy is getting so big & I’m having swollen feets & aching finger joints. Walking really slow like carrying a huge bag of rice & it’s tough to get up after sitting down.
