My island

Long time ago I tot going to oz was finding my own island
But I forgot dat my siblings are there and rules still slightly happening
But still I tot in that different continent everything most likely to change
Started my own world with new friends, and all
End up finding I going no where
Friends are just illussions
Just like mist in the morning that barely there but you still can enjoy the vibe when u see it
It still gives you the thrill

Dats still nothing for me as I've lost best friends 3 times

But things that bothers me to hell is my sis especially and my family somehow
Not that I don't love em
Juz fat nvr goes well
I can't even find a single corner for myself

The spot for me so far is our room dat turns to be mine for few years since my siblings gone to Oz already and parents busy working
Therefore I hv my own house for myself, finally can set up my own bookhelf and all

And in Oz it was my foundation year that quite totally in my own world, my own place n etc
My own bf that provided me my special world

Now in Oz luckily I hv my car lately and dats my only private world lately n my bf's place is quite like a resort for me sometimes
Even tho there are some complicated things going on
But at least he still let me be in his hug sleeping peacefully most of the times

Now for me, these little imaginary world of mine are not satisfying me enough
It makes me wonder when will I find my very own island
For me to set up my things around me, no one bothers my schedule and live peacefully

Seems like it means I can't get married so soon to achieve my dream hahahahahaha...

Not even a bf is as close when my world mixes up with the real world
I might should be single forever as well n juz love my gloomy life
Hoping one day I find my own tribe in my own island and we roll everytime n we don't care bout other thing but work and our fun time
All only bout work hard play hard and keep on building your own small crib

Here is the end of my babble


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

shiraz is the bomb!!

Last night,
i had 1 of the best night ever..
it last even until this morning!!
surprising..

me n josh had pork knuckle again..


last time we ate it was like more than 1year ago
we were a big fan of it
yet, i don't know why,
both of us don't really enjoy it as much as before anymore..
not because of our arguments of course..
just that it's not seems like our favourite thing anymore..

and.. the main star of the night is..
Tempus Two Shiraz!!!!


we're so excited to try this wine since the first moment we saw it in the liquor store
i personally fell in love with tempus two because of the desert wine
i had it last chinese new year with family..

so after joshy's work we head for dinner in lowenbrau
afterwards we drink wine under "the sexy light" (josh said)
right on the hook of the hyatt hotel sydney
which means the view is sydney harbour
with the opera house n harbour bridge


we sat on a rock under the light,
set our wine, with our own wine glasses..



then we found a white rabbit!!


dats how exactly how the rabbit been posing wherever it jumps

i remember last time evan told me that the rocks parks actually
has a lot of rabbits at night.. so here comes one of em..
i know this sounds like a drunk person's story..
but no, it's not.. seems random in deed..
as josh encouraged me to try to catch the rabbit
there i goes.. from calmly trying to catch, till i run like crazy!!
and.. at the end.. Josh join in to try to catch the rabbit too =P
but we couldn't catch it..
so we juz go back to our wine n enjoy it..

i felt high n tipsy quite fast..
we didn't even chat much i think..
i barely remember what we talked about last night..
but none of the moment is out of my memory record..
it was unforgettable..
josh tot drinking wine somewhere random is not fun at first
yet he enjoyed it quite well ^^
i'm super happy..

after that we both felt soooooooo super relaxed
so we went to sleep super early.. 10 or 11 pm if i'm not wrong..
then the next morning woke up at 6am automatically!! XD
and we went to buy a vietnamese roll "hong ha" in mascot for breakfast!!!!
it's juz way too healthy and doesn't seem like josh's lifestyle in deed
but we did!!! i was super shocked.. lol..

so there goes another memorable day
sweet.. and romantic..
like never before..
lol..



and that's the end of our little story

cheers!!! ^^

sleepless

sigh..
i really don't know how long should this be going on until.
i don't know what to do..
i hate being sleepless..

will i be sleepless longer than last time?

i thought everything evaporated already,
why are they still there?

i tot i've changed to be more mature and stronger,
have i even changed much?

i thought i've fixed the bumpy roads from tripping me down
why did i fell again?

what should i do??

sleeping pills?? LOL..
maybe i should took 1000 sleeping pills
make sure i won't survive like my korean friend..
she took A LOT but yet she survived and having liver problems
maybe i should make sure to chop off my liver n sell it in organ markets..
so it's positive for 0% second life..

chill.. i'm not really thinking bout suicide.. it's juz a joke
but i might need that joke one day..
maybe after i keep on repeating my life this way till when i'm 30.

y should history repeats?
i wonder who curse me till this bad..
i wonder what i did in my previous life..

grrr... blog skins..

i'm so frustrated with blog skins nowadays.. since i'm not good at it..
oh well, for now i'll keep this normal ones..
i'll try to get my blog look good again in few days hopefully..

however..
i really wanna share some stories here lately..
well, forgot most of em already, but i got new one too..

i need some feedback here,
you reckon a harsh happy ending better or so so bad ending that might gives me some regretful feeling?

life nor love seems to face this dilemma phase for me somehow..

i'm still pretty alright in the harshness tho, but still, it's quite stressful in some points..

omg.. life oh life..

why are u so annoying? n death oh death.. y would u come to a person that enjoys their life??!!
y don't u come to me?? T_T

ow, n i hvn't been posting much lately, but just so u know, in the middle of this year i lose 1 of my friend..
she past away..
however, i juz wanna tell her through my blog (and my prayers so far)
that you always live in me..
instead of having my grieves after a certain point not so far after ur death,
i ended up imagining how would u answer n react towards my thoughts..
i has your annoyed face in me, your craziness, ur laugh, smile and everything about u..

so, stay besides me no matter what, Carol..
thanks for the memories you gave me.
may you rest in peace..

in remembrance of (Doctor gonna be) Carolina Lie..
sorry i don't hv her photos here..
and yes, she took medical studies and just about to graduate in 1 year time..
what a cliche..

AARRRRRGGGGGGGGGH!!! my blog!!!!

my tiredness makes me wanna do my design blog faster
and i end up pressing the wrong blog to change the tempate T_T
and now my blog is so darn ugly and i dunno where is my applications all gone
hopefully i can fix this fast guys..
i dunno when will i hv time to fix this tho XD
i dunno whether i still hv the old skin codes either..
shoot me XD
i don't even know whether all of my boxes can be retrieved or not T_T

Jakarta Exploded AGAIN!!!!

My Lovely Peaceful Jakarta Exploded AGAIN!!

T_T
sad news..

this morning (17 July) Jakarta's JW marriot & Ritz Carlton hotel in Kuningan
bombed again..
yes.. again.. this is the second time for jw marriot.
this time they set 2 bombs on each hotel which is across each other.
both seemed happened on the restaurant to get more victim.

usually when there are bombings like this i wouldn't care
or i might even say "oh good, helping the world to reduce the population"
but this time it makes me so angry..

maybe last time because i'm used to bombings here n there
n i end up nvr feel anything wrong with it n see the brightside of it instead
but now..
seriously!!
no nothing is happening dude!!!
no political problems dude!!
everyone is busy fixing the economy bro!!
trying to get their country as strong as possible!!

and lets see what they've done through this bomb..


wow, the whole restaurant ruined..



and the windows ruined..



wow, good extra service.. evacuating the tourists
this bomber really making sure that
these tourists wouldn't want to invest or visits jakarta
or maybe indonesia anymore coz of the trauma..


foreigner injured super badly..
and there are some injured hotel staffs too
i'm pretty sure if this guy survive
he'll nvr ever come to jakarta anymore


and so far in the news been told that 9 people found dead

oh come on bombers..
if u wanna help to reduce population (which world quite need it)
please do it properly!!! u only killed 9 here bro!!
what a lousy job u're doing!!
u can kill more than that!!

and please again.. use ur brain bro!!
the highest populated country and race is china and india!!
indo is the third..
r u alright?? n y your aim is the westerners??
they are less than us asians!!!

and one more thing..
if u only wanna kill, instead of usiing explosives
why don'tu use ninja skills?? cooler bro!!
u'll gain respects!!

so the most embarassing thing that you've done to indonesia is..
U F***ING SHOOED THE MANCHASTER UNITED!!!


WE'RE ONE OF THE ONLY 4 COUNTRIES IN ASIA
THAT IS ON THE SCHEDULE!!

& HECK THEY SHOULD COME TWICE & THEY CANCELLED TWICE??

bro.. we've been wanting for them!!

AND THEY'VE BEEN WAITING FOR
PONARYO, B.P, AND THOSE COOL PEOPLE BRO!!!

they might as well enjoy themselves in bali or sumthing..
INCREASE OUR TOURISM!!

ok.. i'm waaaaaaaay too emotional bout this case..
i just can't get this..
this time is such a big asshole of you to bomb indonesia
one day i'll send my ninja troup to kill you guys all..

i'll be the head of the mightiest terrorists
who terrors the terrorists
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

ok enough bullshit and news for the day..

** all photos credit goes to msn news

pizza time!!

anyone is one of the domino's pizza fans?

or jelly monkey's fans?
well, lets combine this..
even tho monkey J doesn't update his blog neemore
the fact is that he've been working for domino's lately..
delivery boy!!! ^^

so yesterday this jelly monkey
woke up super late in the afternoon
he's late for his work n the car still with me.
and by then i was having a nap and gotta drag my sleepy head to his place
n coz he's super late.. he end up drag me along with him instead T_T
so i sleep in the car the whole time while he's working..

i was sooooooooo hungry.. haven't been eating much..
and after he ends sudddenly he brought 3 pizzas n smiling towards me..
he made 3 pizzas himself for him, his friend and i.

he made the wrong one for me tho T_T
i ordered hawaiian he brought me supreme..

so since i'm hungry, i eat it ASAP..
and that's the best domino's pizza ever for me ^^

it taste superb in deed, very rich too..
and of course coz it's a special pizza
made by my special Jelly Monkey
^^


that pizza was perfectly topped, perfectly baked..
the mushroom was not over baked and still juicy
the capsicum was still juicy and crunchy..
everything was JUST NICE!! ^o^ V
gotta make more pizza like dat for me ,Jelly!..

so there goes the Jelly Monkey made pizza..

P.S: his room after i'm away is totally changed..
and i can't fix it this time XD
see it yourself..



only have space to walk like a cat..

oh.. and i got my C905 back btw..
turns out the problem was in the screen..
dunno how n why.. unlucky..
and all of the pics taken by he lovely C905..

enjoy ur droll for the pizza ;D
go get urself a pizza boy as a bf =P

wow.. 1 month off blog

yo.. sup ya'all..
soo.. i dunno where should i start this blog from..
may be bout my bro's wedding?
or.. KL???
clubbing?
love life?
omg.. no thanks..

too much to update!!
too many pictures to show!!

so i'll juz gonna blog about..

had a hectic holz!!! dats is not holz neemore
however.. i'm really wanting clubs!! =P

but seriously.. i feel sorry to the guys going to zouk in KL
they gotta pay A LOT!!!
not worth it man..
somehow.. my theory of this business is like..

club knows some girls wants 1 night stand
guys knows go to clubs can get one night stand
girls dunno how fool are they..

so girls thinks they had fun
clubs is like pimps, they get money from the boys that can use the girls
boys using clubs n girls in there like public brothels n hoes..

no offence aye.. it's juz my opinion..

so girls dat goes there for dance, dj, n music
please be careful..
good boys not fun to dance with
bad boys too naughty to dance with
so.. juz be careful..

free sex is sooo not worth it..
you don't get paid, the clubs had the money for that
basically clubs are boys' agent to give options of girls to eat

i juz don't get it..
@_@

more blogs comin..

hopefully T_T

Thank you my dear love

When i'm tired usually i'll be more fragile
wants love all the time
needs lotsa support to get me through
i know i'm such a baby
but oh well.. what can i do

however, this time the point is that
i want to thank my "perfect boyfriend"
(sinical yet real)
how he has changed himself
sacrifice his enjoyment
learn some stuff new to get himself closer to me

he has been so nice to me lately
support me so much
and yet makes me learn n remind myself
about who i was
who i am
and keep me on track

thank you so much my sweet love..
i appreciated it sooo much
hope i can be better for you too

but not about getting a mistress..
i can't help that wish..
coz i don't have heaven drive

LOLZ!!!!


XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXO

=P

the feeling when the best class end

the feeling when the best class end


i just finish my communication C class.. forever..
or maybe not, if i failed
it's a class where you hv to hand draw nicely,

accurately, sexy and beautifully..

but this is not life drawing, this is structural hand drawing
basically perspective but free hand
we learnt illustrator n google sketch up too.
i love this class
i consider this as the best class because
i grown up a lot (in skill wise) because of this class.
i'm not a scribbler, not a fans of drawing
dats how bad i am to start this skill from. but now..
i draw like i never ever seen nor tot that i could draw like that!!
well, not as good as the good ones in class though

and my year is one of the year of the superb..
i enjoy to see where to go
have the chance to influence myself by these people
but yet sadly i have to accept a very bad ark all the time
T_T

harsh
but i love it
and i grew up
and dats what i call as a good education!

so, just now was the final test..
they ask you to draw 2 objects in 4 hours
make it as presentable as you could
as commercial as you could
as professional to make it ready to go to client
the second one includes marker rendering

and the power of the adrenaline rush
and the vibe of those brilliant people around
finally made me draw like never ever in my life AGAIN!!
i can even marker render quite well compares to my ever render
it really surprises me badly..
but again.. i'm the worse of all
so i really don't know whether i'll get pass or not

and now that the test just over
i still feeling uneasy
tensed because i'm so tired, adrenaline rush
and scared of the result.
because the class juz now
we literally gave 100% for the final marks

we handed in 70% worth of portfolio
(my work through the semester and hard work of remaking for 3 days)
and 30% worth of test T_T

i feel super uneasy now..
SUPER!!!
and i'm emotional too
because when my tutor gave a final speech
i felt as if my chance to learn more and grow my skill up is ended
time to be independent and study yourself
felt like graduation day
felt like the last day of junior high school
felt like the last day of the high school final exam

some people might feel relieved but i feel like what i explained
because that class was a very important thing for me
it was a very precious time
with precious result
and i can't wait to see how i'll grow even more

and now i still have more and more last minutes work
XD
i'm so screwed..
oh well.. preparing for the more important one is the priority

i've planned to upload my drawings soon
show you how i grew up
show the world what i've been fighting for
and show the public that sometimes
those drawings ugly or pretty
most of the times are skills!! not talent
and that we fight and fight to be able to do so
and it look like a little piece of shit on a piece of common paper
but it's actually worth hundreds of dollars in real life
(only if u did it well =P)
but the point is.. sometimes those ugly scraps are something.

bye bye again communication C
i love the experience Andrew fowkes..
thank you

sydney winter fesival

Sydney Winter Festival

here we come..
so this year Sydney going to have
OPEN AIR ICE RINK!!!
INFRONT OF THE CATHEDRAL!!!!!
WITH FOODS AND BEVERAGES~~
PETTING ZOO~~
BIG SCREENS~~
MUSIC!!!!

T_T anything else to explain how good is that?
dude.. i've been waiting for open air ice rink ALL my life..
waiting for the chance for me to go to US, Canada, or europe for that
the best that i wanted to be in is New York
yes, Rockefeller Center..



and now!!! it's in SYDNEY!!!
how good is that?!!?!?!?!?
this 18-21st of June
free entry full entertainment open ice rink
in front of the cathedral besides the Hyde Park..
can u imagine how beautiful is that??? XD

BUT!!!!
BUT BUT BUT BUT!!!
THE MOST INCONVINIENT TRUTH EVER IN MY LIFE IS!!!

i won't b in Syd by then coz of my brother's marriage T_T
how good is that? T_T
hopefully they'll have it again next year!!!!
i gotta pray everyday from now on to make this happen T_T

and please please please..
i wanna see people's blog bout this..
lotsa photos n stuff..
(hinting on some people in sydney such as li ying, nic n friends ;D)

anyone interested

official website
www.winterfestival.com.au

and they have facebook fans page
"sydney winter festival"

dats all for now..
back to assignments.. =P
behind time now.

juz wanna work work work

i juz wanna do my work now..
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''


i juz woke up like around 40mins ago..
y??
coz i slept a 8.30am..
y??
coz i'm stupid in illustrator
(well computing basicaly)
and it took me whole darn bloody night to figure out
how to use this and that T_T
i've been learning it FYI..
for weeks!!.. but i juz can get it last nite
when i meditate myself in the squarehouse
(squarehouse is a building in UNSW, not literally square house)
all night long..

but it makes me proud!!! XD coz i did it super well..
but it takes too long tho..
makes me kinda behind time..

so this morning at 6.45 when i decided to go,
i wasn't very tired, n not that sleepy either
so i end up imaginating sumthing..
not dirty stuff..
but i imagine how good if i could somehow
find a way to see my precious in the land of dream
it's so soothng to do such a thing when your eyes
tired and kinda lose focus..
you only need to focus on one thing
and feel it n smile at it..
n maybe.. if you're tired enough,
slept beside it..

and.. what's wrong with sydney last nite man?!?..
darn cold.. it says only 10-11
infact it feels like 6-8 XD
it was super cold..
lucky i got a car..
so i can turn n the heater n all good..

but seriously..
it was a nice winter sunrise this morning
reminds me how much i love the winter morning
like 8years ago.
well, i was a kid by then..
not much burden..

do u realize as you grows older
more burden on your shoulder
and when cold comes
you feel the emotional things going on
especially when you just got a problem or sumthin
makes you feel like you need so emotional warmth

when you were a kid and you were happy
ignorant, easy going, being stupid..
you wouldn't feel these kinda feelings..
you don't feel that you need a partner

i wish i can change my way of thinking
as simple as a little kid..
as imaginative as them..
as pure as them..

however.. it doesn't feel like autumn anymore here
and the funny thing is that this autumn
there are not much leaves on the street..
and luckily not much hectic rains..

stupid

i have 1 friend which become a psychologist
she said i have to stop calling myself stupid
she've been soooo mad everytime i say i am stupid
coz she said i am not stupid
and according to her,
keep on calling yourself stupid can affect your psychology
which gonna reduce your confidence,
performance, and in fact
continued to reduce your chances and choices in life.

in psychology, all the things that you do have a reason
for example you'll feel pretty coz your parents, your
relatives and people around you must have been calling
you pretty since you're small
therefore you wouldn't think about
plastic surgery, diet, or watsoever

and in my case, my whole family been calling me stupid
since i was young, because i was way younger than them
obviously i look stupid so badly for them.

in real life, i stupid, but not that stupid.
lotsa people notice that i'm bright.
at least for sometimes..

but today, now,
i really do feel so stupid, ugly
coz not even a patience can handle me
not even the closest person think so
not even bright in the worse ones

now i start to think..
probably i should stay with that old stupid place
that would give me some confidence and bring me to life

a stupid place can stop me to shrink
and change myself as fast as Ali

but why that stupid place only can makes me feel safe
while i'm a person that can't stand monotonuous


all around the world knows
the fact that
the most prosperous place is the most dangerous place
but yet
the safest place on earth is the most rubbish place.

why sucha rule have to be there in this world.
it juz gives me headache.
n makes me become like now..
talking crap in here
letting people confused and only understand that
"oh.. she said that she's stupid"
oh well.. juz pitter patter chitter chatter
bizz buzzin, with no direction
so please lemme float here
like a shit in the river
and you don't need to care.

thank you..

have a car..

good news:
now i have my "private transport" (PT)

experience news bout the good news:
i'm a person that hold my pee for quite long
and now i can't do that since i hv my PT

few days ago i suddenly feeling like wanna pee ady when i was "riding"
some more my belt so tight.. felt like squizing my pee out..
n then when i get to my house n i need to park
it's really hard for me to concentrate to get it parked
some more i'm a noob.. T_T

so moral from the good news:
make sure you pee before riding

this thing been happening to me few times T_T
but of course each time not as bas as the first one..

fave ad for my whole life long

hey ya!!
this time i blog juz to record and share
the greatest advertisement of all time!!!
well at least for me..
and for some indonesians..

this advertisement series published from 2006-2007
yes!! series!! beautiful concept
beautiful making
beautiful thought they put in (talk as a designer myself)
beautiful musical piece
beautiful indonesia..

every single movement, properties, decoration
all are our cultures and symbols that has meaning behind it
like beras and the celebration,
why they choose the fire and the weapon in "cahaya asa"
all are our culture that has meaning behind it.

as indonesian that loves indonesia so deep
this advertisement is the first ad that thrills,
gives me goosebump and makes me cry, touched..
and it happens everytime i watch it!!
yes!! everytime!! even till now..
except if i'm watching to look at the details and
investigate the design n thoughts in it.
or focusing to listen to the old javanese language.

till now i still can't hear properly the javanese poet in "cahaya asa"
but i know it must b meaningful
dats y i wanna know..
so any indonesian actually read my blog n know it..
i beg u please tell me what is it..
i wanna know the meaning of the beginning words that
starts the wayang gunungan..
and the last part i only can hear
"joyo joyo wojoyo kusumo"
XD sad.. maybe my hearing really bad
coz of the shallow knowledge of my old javanese language.

so here are the videos..

1. "Cahaya Asa" (the best of all)

this video made for christmas and new year.

more into the new year tho..
all the movement, properties and culture in this one
are prayers..
prayers of a better beginning
prayers of hope,
prayers of spirits and any other thing..


i would like to explain every single detail
but yet, it's too long
as in too cultural n damn long to explain XD
however. i hope u feel the aura of prayers
and the sacral land of indonesia



2. "Rumahku Indonesiaku" (the beginning of the series)

the rest of the series is not as good as this one i reckon..
but the thought behind it is good too..
if u wanna check it out u can check "Rumahku Indonesiaku"
in youtube.. then you can see the rest of the series.
there is 1 of em that been pulled from publication coz of political issues
i'm not happy with that, but oh well.. as long as we can see it in youtube..

actually the videos will gives you the whole feeling more when
you see it in high quality.. so u can juz browse it in youtube to get
the high quality..
then you can see the details n stuff..
me as a designer, surprised how all the details that you wouldn't
even notice closely would be thought very well in the making.

and i love this ad till i go find the people behind it
and i met 1 of the fresh grad that work as a creative director
in that "cahaya asa" making..
he told me how much the budget was..
and the making took 10 days
which is very long for an advertisement
and 10 days doesn't include the pre-make and post-make
10 days is only the shoot taking and stuff..
i asked him for te copy of the ad XD
dats how much i love it..
but it only can b opened in mac XD n i don't hv mac..
so me myself hvn't enjoy that copy till now T_T
sad..

so enjoy 1 of my fave ad of all time..
hope you love it..

"mulia mulia mulialah indonesiaku"

Dance again..

i join in dance classes again!! yay!!!

finally i found myself again..
i really wanna improve my flexibility XD
and!!! i wanna burn my fats!! XD
but t weird thing is that..
i find out that 1 hour class is not enough XD
i dunno why.. but i felt it very short..

so yea, i think i gonna add up my class and get movin even more..
actually i miss my old dance teacher Wakaana =(
she was so sexy n super cool!!
i wanna learn more from her..
oh well.. try to find new styles i guess..
if i can't i may need to dream to go to US or jap for dance class trip
=D

dun think dat i'm kinda extreme,
coz actually real dancers in my uni's hip hop society
reallly went to jap or US frequently to join in some school
or workshops or simply dippin in the street brotherhood up there
who knows one day i have the chance..

so.. anyway..
lets pray for me to improve my boring dance moves =P

Shooting Star..

Shooting Star

so, yesterday i saw the biggest shooting star i've ever seen
it was red tailed, as if it was burning into ash..
and it was super cool!!!
i saw it when i was standing right in front of Josh's place
with the pretty starry clear sky backdrop
it was dashing slowly..
juz as if it was waiting for me to make a wish..

usually the shooting stars that i saw are very far
looking very thin n small n super fast..
it's like u hv no time at all to make a wish..

so there i goes..
taking the chance n made a wish..
the only very wish that i'll always pray for now..
even tho it's kinda non sense
and it made me feel kinda fool..
even tho after i think again with logic i suppose to
wish for my goals to come true
or juz simply to ask for very dreamed guy to come..

but no.. i stuck with my very current wish..
i wish for that impossible thing to happen..
yet i'm scared that it was a wrong wish to wish for..
but oh well.. u can't think much in that short time
and there u can see how much i wants it..

and hopefully if i say it here the wish won't b cancelled

"i wish i'll be with Josh till the end of time"

My not so sad case b'day

My Not So Sad Case B'day
so how did i spent my b'day eve??
i had a super lame b'day surprise that is not a surprise neemore.
however.. i was exhausted on the day before my b'day..
all coz of the classes n stuff
but then.. i gotta go home, act dumb, n go to the party that josh or whoever
between evan, liying, kenneth, or dick arrange..
i didn't wanna hv any celebraton actually..
i was too tired teh wole week..
i prefer to chillin with josh..
but i enjoy the party so much..
and the biggest present was from my dear Josh..
2 of my fave cakes..
i had 2 cakes on my b'day!!! ^^
1 of em not so nice tho =P
but i appreciate it so much..
since Josh did try to get me the nice one that i usually have..
even tho it's kinda non sense to get em for take away..
ahahah..

but there goes the bad news coming along..
THEY DON'T SELL MY FAVE TIRAMISU ANYMORE!!! XD
NO WAY!!! IT MEANS NO TASTY TIRAMISU FOR ME
EVER AGAIN IN SYDNEY!!!!
now i wanna go back to indo often T_T

so yea, bout the party again..
y Josh didn't gimme any other presents besides the cakes?
even to it was our anniversary too!
well, it was all coz of his previous problems,
so now he can't afford much ^^
i don't mind, coz i know he felt bad too..
but nothing that he can do..
the cakes were touching enough for me..

and we had late dinner there too..
the credit for dinner goes for chef EVAN NG!!
he cook like a pro!!
even tho i'm a girl n i do cook sometimes,
he really beats me hard!!!

ow, n Cheong ho came over from the far far away land to the party
which was held at Evan's place.
n i know a new friend, Krystina (if i spell it correctly)
she's evan's flat mate.. she's pretty n nice XD
sluuurrrp!.. nice to have man.. ahahahahahhaha..
and i had pretty liying there some more..
party full of pretty girls..

so yea, i hvn't had the photos yet here..
hvn't get it from evan..
sorry...

n y is it not so sad case??
coz this b'day suppose to b as sad as my prev b'days XD
i suppose to do my uni assignments by the weekends
but seriously i was exhausted, so dats y i wanna get a break instead.
for the reason dat it's my day!! =P
so i think dats about it for my b'day..
i'll update some more of wat's on..

my glory!!!

my glory
and the come back of windy the lousy industrial designer
so.. why is it my glory??
coz.. Josh love me long time =P
and his parents love me long time too!!
and his parents finally makes me say "thank you please come again"
they've blocked Josh from doin 1 of his bad things!!!

wat a good news isn't it??
means Josh word "May peaceful be with you" really works now..
coz i'm in peace.. no more going out so late, no more arguing, no more headache!!

and why is it peace with me??
coz i'll be super duper quadruple busy this semester due to 4 studios..
**holy Sugar!! i juz remember dat i forgot to do 1 of my assignment today XD**
so yea, like this week i hv 5 projects, 2reports, 10 sketches homework
how beautiful is my life XD
so yea.. it'll be better for my life if i don't hv josh's bad things in one of my to do list
and usually josh's bad things leads to lack of sleep T_T
which i really do need some for sure!!

so, let Josh out of the topic now..

why i'm a lousy industrial designer??
coz i can't draw!! T_T
n lately i hv to draw of minimum 6hours @ weeks
which is soooo tiring T_T
i draw for 40mins today n i fed up T_T

ow, i got bad news too now..
i think it's very hard to juggle with work n uni works!! XD
even tho i only hv 4 or 5 hours shift a week i still feel scared..

another news for today.. i was shocked last friday (13th)..
coz suddenly Josh ask me join the family dinner
which is with his uncle, aunty, cousins n his parents..
it was kinda unexpected..
and then josh didn't intro me to his relatives T_T
kinda pissing me off in a way...
oh well.. gotta teach him bit by bit..

talking bout teaching him, i've been teaching him to say thank you.
last year if i remind him he'll say "i've said it" even tho he didn't
or he say "ya la ya la ya la"
or he simply pissed or complaining or even mad at me..
but lately he really makes me think that he's cute..
i say "thank you" to remind him to say so..
and even tho the chance has passed but he still repeat me..
but he use "thank you.. please come again"
hahahaha.. juz to make a joke of it..
but u gotta see his face when he repeat me saying thank you..
look like a hopeless kid that cornered to do somethin n innocently do it..
he's super cute with his atupid face that decored with is huge thick lips
hahhahahahah
omg.. there u go again.. he back in the topic..
oh well.. i love him too much.. can't stop talking bout him..
n he've changed to be better..
hugged me more often, temper WAY better..
n he smiles a lot ^^
which really such a bliss for my days..
gives me spirit, made me smile, and courage to juggle with my life.

oh well oh well.. talked too much bout him already..
k.. so now, i know dat this post is very subjective,
hopefully u guys can understand it..
if not then too bad..
coz i make this blog for myself to remember my life as the goal

there goes the finalle..
c ya..
i gotta go to sleep coz tmr gotta do my assignment ^^

funny itsy bitsy..

The funny itsy bitsy in me

that lil man in my body hit me way too often lately
way beyond what i've ever felt before
makes me wonder wat is actually going on

but it's weird..
gosh.. this year is super weird..

i felt that me n josh is going way better
but yet.. my loving feeling is not the same as what i had before..
not that it's gone, but it's a different feeling

it makes me worry in a way..
coz i dunno wats going on..

but oh well.. here we are.. such a lovey dovey..
i can understand his body languages better..
he become calmer..
i become much cooler..
we had less drama than ever before..

usually he'll be tempered when he sleep
and i moved here n there..
now, he is sooooooo much less tempered..
talk sweetly bout my behaviour..
or juz asked me to come n get into his hug to stop me from
moving around or making noises by doing watever i could do in the room
while waiting for him to wake up from his nap..

these kinda small daily things..
really change the relationship when it changed..

i missed the dramatic days between us tho!! =P
when we used to argue so much..
mad at each other..
coz when we're argueing face to face and long distance is different u know..
argueing face to face can make us opened to each other..
n i like it in some ways sometimes.. =P

especially if we ended it with picking on each other..
or pillow fight.. or walking to no where..

talking bout walking to no where..
i kinda reducing this thing.. i juz notice it today..
i walked further from him, but not too far..
n he used to it already XD LOLZ..

gosh.. 3 more weeks.. n we'll become 1 year..
i'll be 21..
confused bout being in love with this messed up ugly smoker guy
with all his bad habits.. in ah beng style..

seing no future with this guy but yet still goin on..
thinking bout my life n ticking clock..
yet still being as stupid as a lil kid on my 21st..
but all these only get me feeling deeper and deeper in this relationship

omg.. finally another story bout monkey n me..
u happy now terry???
i bet u're smilin thinking dat we works like wat u think we would..
juz pray for my best people..

and i wanna admit my sin to josh..
i threw 2 boxes of ur lucky strike today XD
ow, talking bout cig.. terry.. he didn't bring the 10cigs box
so.. don't expect him to change much..

perfect girl??

i've changed lately.. usually no matter how i hate myself
i nvr had image of the perfect girl look in my days ever..
i end up imagining the perfect girl look lately..

which is..

- has bright eyes.. with the sparkle in em
- i heard my skin colour is kinda ugly, some says tanned, i feel dat it's very hard to find a nice
colour on me.. usually only the same old type of colour that suits me
- small boobs (not flat!) which i think makes em look elegant n so girly..
big boobs are nice but it's so trouble some for fashion n stuffs.. (to much to tell n it's kinda too
subjective so i avoid subjectivity here)
- tall.. (but some guys says they like me short like now, since they find it perfect size for me)
- act feminine..
- smart n hard working such as tara
- soft spoken
- not too honest n expressive
- not too agresive
- n don't really cares bout guys..

there r lotsa more i reckon..
but i dunno.. prolly i'll end up writing list of names instead..
since i kinda wanna b like em..
coz not much people likes me.. n lotsa people likes em..
lotsa people complain.. n i always get the poops on me..

nitey nitez 4 now..
work tmr..

back to sydney..

reached sydney this morning!!.. found that my life gets dull..
things changed.. friends changed..
only family stays the same..

only the nice clear milky way that i see on the plane
the perfect weather in sydney today with bit of cloudy weather
the wind..
and the smell of the old stories and feelings..
that made me a bit brighter..

things felt weird.. situation felt weird..
felt like something is going on..
hopefully not dat the world is back stabbing me..

i feel uncomfortable, lost and not ready to face this year..

so many things will be going on, so many things i wanna do
so many things to consider..

so much to learn.. so much to get..

man.. i need to get myself back up..
i've been listening too much n caring too much
seeing n hearing too much,
n end up killin myself again..

there are more words to come..
i wrote em down.. i'll post it next time ^^
dats all for now..
i gtg to bed. i hv work tmr..

lazy to blog

lazy to blog!!! XD
the stories from syd fest n oz day or chinese new year are too long
the pretty details and feeling that i have from those events are fading
n it's hard for me to recall it..
but i still remember some, such as
how beautiful was the shadow of the dancers on the martin's place building's wall
how pretty was the floating tissue in the air while the dance n the song was peaceful
it was all felt like in a dream..

the feeling of sydney CBD under the reign of festivity
road closures where you can see people crossing the elizabeth st. freely
concerts here n there.. people partying..

and during the oz day..
i found myself being me.. so free..
wearing dress yet not bound to girly attitude..
i don't care bout my look, not scared of a mess..
missed that feeling.. when i was so free.. no body cares..

i was like the advertisement of the randwick race course..
"nothing could stop princesses"
where the ads always shows how the princesses goes through any adventures
eventhough they're wearing dress and high heels..
but i wasn't wearing high heels dat day..

but yea.. i went under the rain.. sit on wet spot.. etc..
i was so happy..

and when the day goes dark the main part of teh event comes
and the national anthem played
the whole part of the australian anthem in aboriginal language was brilliant!!
very touching, sounds better.. and it reminds me to indo too..
the composition of the music was superb..
they combine oriental drums and sounds, aboriginal sounds with orchestra!
the singer of the national anthem was excellent..

the whole package was well orchestrated..
the fireworks was well arraged.. so close.. it's decent yet so pretty..
it comes to perfection when you see the glittering drizzles by the street lights..
with the background of fireworks and your family seems so perfect in that moment,
and the passion of photo taking is wrapping me..

prolly my words can't explain the beauty of those days..
but i juz wanna share a bit with u guys and make it recorded
therefore i can always remember that happy moment..

hahaha.. finally i end up blogging bout those events =P

tagged..

first time in my life i've ever been tagged..

n this is from li ying..
i know i suppose to updates things that i wanna express,
news bout CNY, etc etc etc etc etc..

but oh well, i feel like slacking =P
so here goes the tag..

1. If you could spend 1 dollar in 5 minutes, what would you spend on?
- anything which is very worth it for 1 dollar..

2. What is your most favourite thing to do?
- dance

3. What kind of news do you read?
- anything that is groudbreaking n interests me.. i follow obama quite often..

4. What would u do if u were to die tomorrow?
- enjoy life for the last day.. i want too many things but teh time is too short.. so juz enjoy..

5. Is there someone in your heart right now?
- yes.. lots of peepz actually.. my Josh, my prev dog Flicky, my prev hamsters especially Zen and Yuu, my prev squirrels fili and ferdy, my family, my first love Yulius, my best friends especially tita
=P
dats rite! my pets are in the same level as my love =P
means josh = my monkey
yes and i miss my love n my pets more than my family XD

6. Do you believe you can survive without money?
- yes, coz we still can survive in the jungle.

7. What are you afraid to lose the most?
- My passion and my boyfriend

8. What do you feel like doing right now?
- go to dance classes!!! go to beach with friends, shopping!!! XD
i'm kinda getting worse bout the shopping temptation T_T n i hate my good design eyes
coz it drags me to expensive stuffs!!!! talking bout that..
JOSHY!!!!! WHERE IS MY TIFFANY BRACELET?!?!! =P

9. If there’s someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
- yes i will.. coz i'm a person dat can't lie to myself

10. List 5 things that u like in a guy/girl.
- more than 5 is alright, isn't it?? =P
deep eyes, big neck with nice neck line, nice shoulder and chest, smart!, nerdy specs look,
thoughtful, cool n calm, classy and TREAT GIRLS AS A LADY!! dat'll make me fall so badly..
but mostly after getting together won't treat the gf that good neemore or maybe after married..
guys!! learn this one well!! even i'll treat my close girl friends well like a lady..

i know, it shows how different josh from guy that i like rite?? hopeless.. XD

11. What are the requirements that you not wish from your other half?
- ??? don't understand this question

12. What do you think is your purpose in life?
- to make indonesia become the old her that is so flawlessly beautiful,
make it as what the older generations been dreaming about
keeping it's heritages, make better nasional library, museums and economy..
i wanna make indonesia great and no one nor politics or goverments could stop me from that!

13. Do you feel like killing someone at the moment?
- nope

14. If you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
- nasi liwet with rendang, sate with lontong + mini hungry jack's double whopper + chicken nuggets + ayam pop + sayur asem + ayam bakar + mie tek tek + mie ayam + gulai + opor!! + soto + bawang goreng + caesar salads all on the side =P

deserts: opera cake, tiramisu, delicious chocolate souffle with crunchy outside, cendol, chocolate mousse, deep fried taro from china, mandarins, SALAK!!, NANGKA!!, rambutan, lengkeng, cherries, blueberries, cheesecakes, hmm... cakes from my primary school..

could that be said as "one thing" please??? wat if it served as 1 serve?? can?? can?? can??
(*o*) yumm...... still hv lotsa more i think..

15. If you had a choice to be rich or happy, which one would you pick?
- i hate this question.. coz i want to b happy but for my life purpose's sake i gotta b filthy rich..
so i think i choose filthy rich!! coz if i can achieve my purpose i can b happy..

16. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
- lotsa things, but it's hard to explain..

17. Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?
- anyone that i can trust and could give me inputs. and definitely not a gossiper!!

18. Name one love song that you have in mind and why?
- don't hv.. dunno.. too many?? err... bad question.. XD

19. What is the one thing you love about yourself?
- dunno.. i'm not a person that is good in answering these kinda complicated questions

20. What is bothering you right now?
- my body is out of shape!! the muscles getting blunt!! flexibility gone!!
appetite gone!! josh not around n hard to talk to him!! wants bally!!
and the most important thing.. my family don't really likes josh..
wanna go to beach but afraid my frackles will be worse.. n wants josh go to beach with me..
no one hand in team list for the league that i make yet..
afraid that i'll spend too much in jkt next week..
worry whether i'll survive this coming semester..

Gotta Put This First!!!

guys.. i got a lot of things to post
but i really want to put this on top of others..

this is a video of a tremendously fantastical dancer..
i watched it on sunday night on TV..
Australia's "so you think you can dance"
check this out mate..

dancers or no dancers..
gotta love this piece of perfection..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eR0ecahz-Q#

gosh.. i dunno how to put the video on my page..
but seriously.. I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!

i cried everytime i see it.. and i'm amazed with the skills..

if you guys don't check it out, u juz missed something special..
and anyone knows how to put video on the post please teach me how!!


-*Update*----------



thanks kenny for the info..
here is the video..

bad news.. no updates..

guys i know i should update but..
since i'll b busy with my parents and chinese new year n work
so updates gonna be delayed.. XD
sorry.. super sorry..
but the good news is that i gt more shifts this week
3 shifts!! ^^
so yea.. be back on blogging very soon!!! ^^

me today

so, me today..
darn tired dunno y..
i felt that i'm getting weird lately..
eat very little n lose my appetite..
being like today so often..

i do exercises n stuff but still..
i keep on holdng back my feelings too dunno y..
n keep on finding inputs that i'm stupid in a way..
starting to think a lot of times about why i'm like this,
should i do this or do that coz peepz say stupid if i do so,
shit i'm so random..

in fact right now i'm holding words that i rily wanna say too
but oh well.. who cares..
in some ways i don't wanna say it coz
i'm afraid it'll hurt me..
n if i say it tho nothing much will happen
nothing can makes me feeling better

so yea, last nite i went with my friend ray lam
the guy that i mention previously in my blog
to shop with him n see the sydney festival
1 of our friends were there too for a while
but yea most of the time only me n ray
i wanna blog bout the festival
but coz of me tired and kinda busy in a way
so i'll blog it soon..
keep checking my blog guys..
c ya ^^

My first tips!!

My First Tips!!

first time got tips from a regular that i usually serve..
he usually order a decaf skim cappucino if i'm not wrong..
but the order that i always remember is the extra iced water ^^
at first i can't even remember his face
but everytime i serve him and lookin at the register screen
and heard him saying "and a cup of iced water please"
i straightly remember..
and after few times i see him coming
the only thing that i remember is the extra iced water.

i hvn't been seeing him for a while now
and till today, i can't totally remember things bout him
but when he came today i remember him n say hi happily
and then he say "do u remember my name now?"
and i was like XD shit i still can't remember
i only remember something started with P if i'm not wrong
and then i juz try hard to spill it out..
and i say,"err... Peter? oh no! Paul!!"
i said it very excitedly and happily coz finally i remember

and then we laugh ^^ hahaha..
and then he say, good, keep the change for ur tips
i said thanks and then i chat a bit with him..

the change was only 25 cents

very small indeed..
but weird, i felt that it was something special..
it's happy when you hv connections with your customer..

and when u work with smiles and see the world in positif way
it's actually gives you enery to life your day..

i had tips before my first tips
it was like 85cents or 95cents
but it was my supervisor had it from a regular
and then my supervisor tot that's kinda random
so he gave it to me, n then i juz put it in the cashier..

that time when i got the tips i felt that it's worthless
like as if coz it's a small amount so it's nothing
now i felt that i was stupid..

or prolly meaning in something is more important than
anything else for me..

ow and recently when i clean a table i found 30cents too
dunno y that one wasn't looking like worthless for me either..
so i took it.. n still keeping it..

so there goes the post of the day..

pz out!

boxing day

hey guys,
i forgot to post the boxing day report from sydney ^^

so exactly as what i've heard about boxing day in sydney..
u can see the very day of the year..
rare view of the city..

people queue in front of the branded shops
even before the shop opened..
they might queue from 8am or 9am..

y the branded shops mostly??
coz the branded shops only hv big sale on that day
and the rest of the shops hv big sale since few days before n after..

so here are the photos of the queue..
(photos taken around 9.45-11am) that is photo of the queue for Gucci..
it've been like that since before the shop open
and not much difference on the afternoon (around 2-3pm)
they limit the amount of people that goes to the shop
it's basically the "theme park system"
u know.. to get a ride u gotta queue..
n the ride hv limit..


this one is queue for swarovski
not that super long but still.. and this queue is
when the shop not even opened yet..

not only that..

the hot things around are..
- you can find group of guys shopping arund
- can bee seen that at least 15% of the shoppers of gucci are guys
- 10 am the Pitt St. arcade full of people that holds bags of things..
- Burberry, Oroton, LV, Bally shop are crowded too
- i saw guys are holding bags too n it's theirs!!! not their gf or wife!!
guys are having shopping spree too.. and it was 10am!!!!
- Myers was like theme park too..
and you gotta line to get to the higher floors, coz they slowing the pace of incoming people..

well there are lotsa other things to see..
it was kinda interesting to see the busy morning
the funniest thing is that it did felt like a morning
even tho it was very crowded.. coz of the weather
coz that day was windy n kinda cool in the morning
and street was not as loud
coz the cars are not as much as usual days.
and people are chill down n a bit more quite
maybe tired after xmas, or in holz mode..

so here is the end of my report!!
c ya..

P.S.: sorry not much photos..