been about >1 month since the last post...Claymore has finally past...
this NSF journey I am facing now is something that few will experience...the tremendous stress of juggling many roles and responsibilites, placing care, effort and focus carefully throughout the weeks.
even before the start of ESC II, it was anticipated that I would be holding so many jobs..but the recent case has really pushed me to my limits, even beyond.
this is the first time that my mind feels conflicted, distracted, tired, stressed, but thankfully focused. I did learn a lot on focusing, multi-tasking and stress management.
I didn't expect that such a really big hoohah would arise. I didn't expect that I had to handle so many things and individuals, and I didn't expect the hostility of people to be just..that bad.
it is still/was so hard, going everywhere bearing the heavy load of people's faces and attitude towards you, as well as people waiting on you, needing your help.
gosh, so many sighs I have heaved, the stress is still there.
being alone bearing the work of many seriously sucks to the core, but I don't have a choice.
this period of time has taught me so many things, facing strong emotions of frustration, anger, anxiety and relief.
and I'm glad that I have my parents and my peers to talk to. Venting out the frustrations and stress are never enough, and I guess that I need to let things go.
one more week of this...and I am gonna hand down all these roles back to the right people. my big job is almost done.
heck, and I haven't even started the real work life outside there. talk about getting old and living shorter...
I somehow miss school. I really miss my class. seeing their faces and talking, I can't wait to de-stress properly. I'm also starting to miss some people too...the urge to meet is getting stronger, even though I haven't seen them in person for just a few months. the first 13 months in NS seem to feel a hell lot shorter than the 2 months that I didn't meet them.
I still need time to let go of this stress. Thank you God, for guiding me in this long journey of my army life. it's gonna end already. :)
