Happy 2013!! New year once again...just came back from Malaysia
2012 was somewhat not a very lucky year for me...
got injured twice, got a slipped disc, got a bruised ball, got bad muscle recovery problems, etc.
worked my ass off for quite some time from mid-Oct with no offs spent till the Malaysia trip...
oh well, whatever. 2012 has past, and so begins 2013. problems have past, let them be. new challenges await, gotta do things right and proper before ORD...just 2 months and 4 days left!!!
and I'm going to Germany with my parents to see my brother after that! cannot wait for that!! :)
probably after ORD or some time after that...finally going to Europe....i'm sure it will be one heck of a memorable experience!
some New Year resolutions that I thought about:
1) get my bad back better
2) smile more (i guess...)
3) seek a religion (i need a direction)
4) be less hesitant and more brave
5) be more focused (esp. for studies)
after looking at and listening to my parents and relatives during the whole Malaysia trip, I really have a long way to go. more situations to experience, more people to handle, more faces to look at, more shit to handle...
a lot of responsibility will lie on your shoulders when you age, and it keeps piling up. it's only just the beginning, so things will come eventually. i need to take things proper proper. for a start, going back to camp at night and settling everything before my understudy (or if i even have one...) comes.
nuff talk alr, gotta sleep after driving for some time!
good night and Happy New Year!! :)
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Friday, November 30, 2012
extending your limit
been about >1 month since the last post...Claymore has finally past...
this NSF journey I am facing now is something that few will experience...the tremendous stress of juggling many roles and responsibilites, placing care, effort and focus carefully throughout the weeks.
even before the start of ESC II, it was anticipated that I would be holding so many jobs..but the recent case has really pushed me to my limits, even beyond.
this is the first time that my mind feels conflicted, distracted, tired, stressed, but thankfully focused. I did learn a lot on focusing, multi-tasking and stress management.
I didn't expect that such a really big hoohah would arise. I didn't expect that I had to handle so many things and individuals, and I didn't expect the hostility of people to be just..that bad.
it is still/was so hard, going everywhere bearing the heavy load of people's faces and attitude towards you, as well as people waiting on you, needing your help.
gosh, so many sighs I have heaved, the stress is still there.
being alone bearing the work of many seriously sucks to the core, but I don't have a choice.
this period of time has taught me so many things, facing strong emotions of frustration, anger, anxiety and relief.
and I'm glad that I have my parents and my peers to talk to. Venting out the frustrations and stress are never enough, and I guess that I need to let things go.
one more week of this...and I am gonna hand down all these roles back to the right people. my big job is almost done.
heck, and I haven't even started the real work life outside there. talk about getting old and living shorter...
I somehow miss school. I really miss my class. seeing their faces and talking, I can't wait to de-stress properly. I'm also starting to miss some people too...the urge to meet is getting stronger, even though I haven't seen them in person for just a few months. the first 13 months in NS seem to feel a hell lot shorter than the 2 months that I didn't meet them.
I still need time to let go of this stress. Thank you God, for guiding me in this long journey of my army life. it's gonna end already. :)
this NSF journey I am facing now is something that few will experience...the tremendous stress of juggling many roles and responsibilites, placing care, effort and focus carefully throughout the weeks.
even before the start of ESC II, it was anticipated that I would be holding so many jobs..but the recent case has really pushed me to my limits, even beyond.
this is the first time that my mind feels conflicted, distracted, tired, stressed, but thankfully focused. I did learn a lot on focusing, multi-tasking and stress management.
I didn't expect that such a really big hoohah would arise. I didn't expect that I had to handle so many things and individuals, and I didn't expect the hostility of people to be just..that bad.
it is still/was so hard, going everywhere bearing the heavy load of people's faces and attitude towards you, as well as people waiting on you, needing your help.
gosh, so many sighs I have heaved, the stress is still there.
being alone bearing the work of many seriously sucks to the core, but I don't have a choice.
this period of time has taught me so many things, facing strong emotions of frustration, anger, anxiety and relief.
and I'm glad that I have my parents and my peers to talk to. Venting out the frustrations and stress are never enough, and I guess that I need to let things go.
one more week of this...and I am gonna hand down all these roles back to the right people. my big job is almost done.
heck, and I haven't even started the real work life outside there. talk about getting old and living shorter...
I somehow miss school. I really miss my class. seeing their faces and talking, I can't wait to de-stress properly. I'm also starting to miss some people too...the urge to meet is getting stronger, even though I haven't seen them in person for just a few months. the first 13 months in NS seem to feel a hell lot shorter than the 2 months that I didn't meet them.
I still need time to let go of this stress. Thank you God, for guiding me in this long journey of my army life. it's gonna end already. :)
Thursday, October 4, 2012
goodness gracious me :/
sometimes you just feel that...you are all alone in this world...
and that's exactly what I'm feeling now...
guess it's just me.
it's just so tiring to go through shit...waiting for people forever, forever dealing with different people, or the same people every single day.
Life would be so much better if one stops caring too fucking much.
and this is only 22 months, serving in the army.
I wonder how people do it. standing their ground in showing fucked up behaviour to you, when you didn't do jack shit. I checked myself countless times, seeing what I did wrong. I just don't really get it. What did I do so wrong, that I am invisible, or you just ignore me, or you indirectly make my life a lot harder in the coming days.
Life in this coy is so damn fucking good (yes, the adjectives are there for a reason), still want better? so what is better than heaven or paradise? being godlike? still want to siam here siam there...sheesh.....
Yeah, people always say tolerate tolerate tolerate, ignoring is the only way or just bochap, it builds character and patience. Life has ups and downs. YES, I get it. but really sometimes, a person can just only take so much. it's just that I don't say anything, or I just don't blow up, cause peace is obviously better than having explosions every day.
next monday is gonna be real busy. give people stuff, set time for them, they come late, busy, or just vanish into thin air like what happened some time back. CALL or INFORM next time maybe? inspections, reports to settle, got my injuries to take care of, setting time for people, waiting, medical appointment for my bruised ball from paintball, etc. (i seriously expect more to come)
nuff said.
I gotta go enjoy my dinner with my parents. Mum's B'Day, so let's keep the peace. I can always de-stress myself over the weekends.
and that's exactly what I'm feeling now...
guess it's just me.
it's just so tiring to go through shit...waiting for people forever, forever dealing with different people, or the same people every single day.
Life would be so much better if one stops caring too fucking much.
and this is only 22 months, serving in the army.
I wonder how people do it. standing their ground in showing fucked up behaviour to you, when you didn't do jack shit. I checked myself countless times, seeing what I did wrong. I just don't really get it. What did I do so wrong, that I am invisible, or you just ignore me, or you indirectly make my life a lot harder in the coming days.
Life in this coy is so damn fucking good (yes, the adjectives are there for a reason), still want better? so what is better than heaven or paradise? being godlike? still want to siam here siam there...sheesh.....
Yeah, people always say tolerate tolerate tolerate, ignoring is the only way or just bochap, it builds character and patience. Life has ups and downs. YES, I get it. but really sometimes, a person can just only take so much. it's just that I don't say anything, or I just don't blow up, cause peace is obviously better than having explosions every day.
next monday is gonna be real busy. give people stuff, set time for them, they come late, busy, or just vanish into thin air like what happened some time back. CALL or INFORM next time maybe? inspections, reports to settle, got my injuries to take care of, setting time for people, waiting, medical appointment for my bruised ball from paintball, etc. (i seriously expect more to come)
nuff said.
I gotta go enjoy my dinner with my parents. Mum's B'Day, so let's keep the peace. I can always de-stress myself over the weekends.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
come and gone
bro just left for Germany last night....saw him off....
by the time he comes back, ORD loooo.......
1 year has passed so quickly, I still rmb being in Nee Soon as a SCT.
time has passed rather quickly...Uni will then start for me, and it's back to studying once again.
everyone's gotta grow old :S
can't wait to go to Germany in March next year after ORD! at least a week after the 5th please, I hope my parents set the date after that.
finally going to a non-Asian country for the 2nd time, Europe or America would be fine.
after thinking about what happened to me for the past few months, I guess I have a pretty interesting NS life so far.
getting a slipped disc, getting shot in the balls twice and getting hospitalised after that...(thankfully there's no permanent damage)
no more injuries please...one is already bad enough. and one service injury report is already difficult enough X(
I'm pretty sure I scare a lot of ppl around me...family and friends alike.
first time I rage at someone....whoosh, didn't really feel like I was myself when I exploded...no bottled-up anger released....
more to type but I gotta go back to camp already....Same Shit, Different Day
sigh sigh.....guessing and assuming kill...
by the time he comes back, ORD loooo.......
1 year has passed so quickly, I still rmb being in Nee Soon as a SCT.
time has passed rather quickly...Uni will then start for me, and it's back to studying once again.
everyone's gotta grow old :S
can't wait to go to Germany in March next year after ORD! at least a week after the 5th please, I hope my parents set the date after that.
finally going to a non-Asian country for the 2nd time, Europe or America would be fine.
after thinking about what happened to me for the past few months, I guess I have a pretty interesting NS life so far.
getting a slipped disc, getting shot in the balls twice and getting hospitalised after that...(thankfully there's no permanent damage)
no more injuries please...one is already bad enough. and one service injury report is already difficult enough X(
I'm pretty sure I scare a lot of ppl around me...family and friends alike.
first time I rage at someone....whoosh, didn't really feel like I was myself when I exploded...no bottled-up anger released....
more to type but I gotta go back to camp already....Same Shit, Different Day
sigh sigh.....guessing and assuming kill...
Sunday, September 9, 2012
oh wow
I don't fully understand how people can compare people so thoroughly and explicitly till the point of criticism...goodness...
tough times show the true of colours of people..and so far, it's not pleasing at all.
bitching and comparing are what I've seen from the beginning of the year.
I'm truly flabbergasted, shocked, stunned, disgusted, whatever.
Stage 1 and I already see so much negativity...just what has this world become to?
who says girls bitch and gossip more? it's the environment that also plays a major factor too. guys can sure about do the same.
honestly speechless....no wonder ppl want to ORD earlier, to escape from this bull friggin horseshit.
what a pleasant introduction to 20 years of age...seriously.
not every day is Sunday, a little hardship and shit are also needed to go through.
I think I'm too f-ing nice. unleashing rage is just so hard, cause I think my rage may really kill that first person. from the past till now, all that bottled up and dormant anger. BOOM.
that's enough said..too much negative energy about this. get a grip and carry on.
tough times show the true of colours of people..and so far, it's not pleasing at all.
bitching and comparing are what I've seen from the beginning of the year.
I'm truly flabbergasted, shocked, stunned, disgusted, whatever.
Stage 1 and I already see so much negativity...just what has this world become to?
who says girls bitch and gossip more? it's the environment that also plays a major factor too. guys can sure about do the same.
honestly speechless....no wonder ppl want to ORD earlier, to escape from this bull friggin horseshit.
what a pleasant introduction to 20 years of age...seriously.
not every day is Sunday, a little hardship and shit are also needed to go through.
I think I'm too f-ing nice. unleashing rage is just so hard, cause I think my rage may really kill that first person. from the past till now, all that bottled up and dormant anger. BOOM.
that's enough said..too much negative energy about this. get a grip and carry on.
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