Happy for a "hyphen" and other notes

I checked my grades for the Fall semester online a few days ago and got one lovely A and one A with a "hyphen." Honestly, I was quite thrilled to see it. I could have done much worse, and since I am trying to get into another graduate program at the university, I was well pleased to see that so far I have no B grades (or, heaven forbid, worse, although I still have one more class to complete). At a time when I needed tangible proof that I am actually capable of doing graduate level work, this was most welcome.
I have the opportunity to make dinner tonight. I am looking forward to it :). I might just have to make dessert, too (not that we need it - the Christmas season always provides a dearth of junk food, but making some specially from scratch is so much more interesting). Tonight will provide another opportunity for me - spending the evening with my grandmother. This is certainly according to my philosophy which I failed to follow yesterday and also an act of good conscience. Her husband needs to be away for a few hours tonight and she cannot go with him, and I do not think that she should be left alone. Recent years have not been the most gracious to her mind and I hope that I may be gracious in my response to the same questions asked multiple times. I wish I could say that my attitude is positive going into this, but it really is not. I highly doubt that I will regret spending a few hours this way, however. This, too, shall pass, and I will be better off for it, I am sure.
I finally added some links to my sidebar today. Rather than a running commentary on the difference in the weather between my homes in CA and NY, they're linked on the side for those who actually care about such things. Despair.com is a site of demotivational posters - I love it! Just remember, "There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots." Engrish.com is a great website full of butchered English. There's some pretty funny stuff on there. Puzzle Pirates! You, too, can enjoy countless hours of pillaging fun and you can play for free! Yarrr!

Monday Evening Post

I watched the Chronicles of Narnia instead of Harry Potter the other day. I thought it quite well done and know why people loved it. I also can see why there are some who were not completely enraptured by it. It's a story for children. I like stories for children (anyone who has seen my ever-growing VeggieTales collection can testify to that), so I liked it. I enjoyed the talking children in the theater (and there were many), as they added the wonder and innocence the audience should have. I still have every intention of seeing Harry Potter, however, and may disagree with those who said Narnia was better just because I like the Harry Potter books much more than the Narnia books (heresy, I know!).
I also went to see the Wallace & Grommit movie at a dollar theater (and managed to get in for free!) and have to say that it disappointed me. I love their three original episodes, so I was expecting great things. It had its moments, certainly, but there were things in there that were rather "suggestive." That ruined whatever genius it had for me. (I didn't find the story all that great, either.)
I had a stupid moment today. It was one of those moments where my great philosophy which ought to guide my actions faltered in the face of my own selfishness. The philosophy is that we ought to live as though today is the last day we may ever spend with those we love that we might not regret the past. It is a fine idea, but it did not occur to me to apply it until the time had passed. My dad asked me if I wanted to go to breakfast this morning. I said no and gave some lousy excuse for my answer and went back to bed. Breakfast is not my favorite meal of the day and I can take it or leave it for the most part. My dad, however, is a big fan of breakfast and enjoys going out. Though it may not be my first choice of how to spend my time, it would have been nice for him. That is time that I lost to my selfishness that I can never regain. Now may be the only time that I have, but I must get out of the now and think about how each "now" will be accounted for and how I can never go back and fix the misused "nows" of my past; they live on in my memory, and some old "nows" are haunting...
While I am here in CA on my break I need to start writing my personal statement for the teaching program I will apply for soon. I need to write 4-5 pages on why I want to teach what I want to teach. History is experienced as nothing but multitudinous dates, details and dead men for far too many students. It should be something far more interesting than that! They want 4-5 pages? I may find that rather constricting!

Thawing out

I arrived in Los Angeles late Tuesday night, exhausted and sore from my attempts at sleeping while occupying the center seat on an airplane yet still so very glad I came. In my two days home I've gone to choir practice, wrapped some presents, watched several DVDs (that's what break is all about!), improved my pirate's online statistics (she's got pretty good ones overall these days), spent lots of quality time with my beloved dog, went to lunch with a friend and shopping afterward (Market City Cafe and Ann Taylor Loft - it had been too long!), visited my former place of work and went to dinner for my grandmother's husband's birthday. Today I'm going to In-N-Out and to see the Harry Potter movie, at long last! At this rate I think my three weeks will go by all too quickly! I will be back in New York before I know it, but after I've gotten used to the weather out here again. I posted some weather information a week before coming out here. The night I posted it, the temperature got down to six degrees below zero. Wednesday was in the upper 70s here. Small difference... I just hope I don't freeze upon my return! There's a lot of Southern California life for me to live today, so I must be off.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas!

Time flies!

I have been in New York for over four months now. The time has passed by so quickly. I can't say that it has all been fun, but as I look back on this time I am so glad that I came. Things are not as I imagined them to be in many ways, but I am not disappointed by any differences. Finding a church was easy for me, and I don't feel like I had to settle on one. I have friends who are becoming more and more dear to me with every passing day. My apartment has given me so interesting trials, but even there I will chalk up those trials as life experience that may come in handy later in life. If nothing else, I can look back at this place in the future and tell stories about life in my first apartment. I have seen God's hand in my life and know that He is watching out for me, guiding my path when all seems dark around me, lifting me when my countenance is low and blessing me beyond my expectations. I will be on an airplane in 48 hours, heading home for Christmas. I am definitely excited to see my family and friends again, especially to have my whole family together to celebrate Christmas. That will be the best part of my visit. I miss the people I left in California, and I think that being away for this long has made me realize just how much I love them. They are what makes going home going home. (As I was writing this, my phone rang. My parents were calling me and I have my cell phone programmed to play "Homeward Bound" when they call me - quite appropriate, given the topic of this post.) Yet when I board the airplane in Los Angeles in January, it will be to come back home. This is where I have chosen to live, so this, too, is home. I have a bit of a "home" identity crisis at this point in my life, but that is good for me because it helps me to recognize that there is no real home for me on earth. My home is in heaven.

"All these died in faith, without receiving the promises, but having seen them and having welcomed them from a distance, and having confessed that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. For those who say such things make it clear that they are seeking a country of their own. And indeed if they had been thinking of that country from which they went out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is a heavenly one. There fore God is not ashamed to be called their God; for He has prepared a city for them." ~ Hebrews 11:13-16

"Let not your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father's house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also." ~ John 14:1-3

Reflections upon Christmas

I wrote this well over a year ago, but as Christmas draws nigh I thought it would be appropriate to post it here.

There is a story of love stronger and deeper than any love recorded by the great novelists of the world. The sweetest romance pales in comparison to the love that God showed the world when He sent His Son. This love story is so often told that we lose sight of how truly amazing it is. The stage is set outside the church building, under a tree and on the front of a greeting card. We think of the angels and shepherds, the magi from the east and the loving young mother, all worshipping the newborn king. It is a quaint picture in our minds as we bustle to and fro in the midst of the holiday rush. As we purchase gifts in anticipation of the joy on the faces of our loved ones do we miss the joy on the face of the Father when He gave His Son to His loved ones? If all we see is the manger, we have missed the greatness of Christmas.

Let us step back to look at the scene in Heaven prior to that first Christmas. We enter a temple filled with smoke, and there in the temple we see the Lord Himself, Jesus Christ, seated on a throne and He is wearing a robe so grand that its train fills the whole temple. The ground beneath our feet trembles at the sound of the Seraphim calling out, “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts, the whole earth is full of His glory.” We see that even the Seraphim, creatures made to worship at the throne of God, cover their eyes and their feet in the presence of the overwhelming glory and holiness of Christ Jesus. This picture was painted by Isaiah, and in it we see the rightful place of our Savior. He sat on the throne surrounded by praise and had every right to stay there, but love compelled Him to lay it aside for a time to become a servant.

Isaiah picks up the story of Christ several chapters later, and the man we see there is ordinary at best. “He has no stately form or majesty that we should look upon Him, nor appearance that we should be attracted to Him” (Isaiah 53:2). What about the throne? He left it to rest instead in a manger, yet that manger was only a stop on the road to the cross. Along the way He would meet with rejection, grief and hate. The Seraphim hid their faces at the sight of His glory, but now men will hide their faces at the sight of His affliction. How then do I say that there was joy of the face of His Father when He came to earth? “The Lord was pleased to crush Him, putting Him to grief” (Isaiah 53:10) because He knew that this was the only way to bring reconciliation with mankind. You and I mean so much to God that He would be pleased to send His own holy Son away from His rightful place on Heaven’s throne to become a despised man who suffered for sins He never committed. When you look at the manger, consider what Jesus left behind and what He chose to face on our behalf. The greatness of Christmas is not in the lights and bells of our decorations, rather the greatness of Christmas lies in the sacrifice of the King of the universe who traded His throne for a cross and the praises of the angels for the curses of men. Joy to the world! The Lord is come! Let earth receive her King!

Baby, it's cold outside!

Current conditions according to weather.com: 2°F, feels like -9°
Forecast for today: Mostly sunny. Very cold. High 16°F.

Current conditions back home in CA: 49°, feels like 49°
Forecast for today: A few clouds this morning, but generally sunny. High 66°F.

Forecasted high for the next week here: 33°
Forecasted low/high for my first night/day back in CA: 46°/68°

It is amazing just how warm 46° sounds to me right now! I think that the warmer temperatures at home will probably make up for the fact that my parents replaced my wonderfully comfortable bed with a different one (my bedroom is now the guest room and is completely different from how I left it). One of the best things about going home while I was away in college was sleeping in my bed again. It was a sad day for me when I realized that my mental image of the room (and bed) I was going back to for three weeks was completely inaccurate. Oh, well. It still comes with a special bed warmer for some part of the night that will potentially keep up to 15 inches of one part of your body warm! The only problem with the bed warmer is that you don't determine where it goes - it does, and it likes putting itself in such places that it is next to impossible to roll over in bed without great acrobatic feats. It also likes to move around a lot, which tends to wake up the person it is warming. I miss that bed warmer and look forward to having it wake me up at 5 AM like it did almost every day when I lived back at home. Dogs, gotta love 'em!

7 days...

Finding the perfect source

I am currently working on a project that looks at a historical debate and analyzes it. I had to briefly present the debate and my analysis on Thursday night and the final paper is due this Thursday. Over the weekend I finally got my hands on a source that I knew I needed to at least look over briefly before completing the project. It is absolutely perfect - it begins with 17 glorious pages that cover the exact part of the debate upon which I have chosen to focus. I only wish I had this before Thursday night! There is only one page of the 17 that does not have at least one passage marked to address (or at least seriously consider addressing) in the paper. Today I meet with the professor to go over the rough draft (which was not particularly impressive, I must confess) and the project as presented in class before I complete the paper. Then I spend the next few days finishing the project before moving on to the third and final paper I have the opportunity to write this semester. I am getting very anxious to get all of my work done. Home beckons to me; I will be there in eight days!

11/16 days...

This is what I am going home to in just 11 days. I am getting very excited about that! (Yes, I am also looking forward to seeing my family and friends, it's just more fun to talk about seeing the dog.) The days are flying by quickly as I finish out the semester. I turned in one paper yesterday and did a presentation on a project for another class and have two more papers to finish (I actually have about half of one done already) before going home.

We got more snow last night - I would say maybe three or four inches (it's a little bit hard for me to tell after it's been plowed and shoveled). That's the most snow we've gotten so far, regardless. For all of you out there who love snow, I will confess that I have come to appreciate it a lot more (I still don't want to drive in it, though). I like to watch it falling, but even better is seeing freshly fallen snow on the Christmas decorations up around the "downtown" areas. Flocking doesn't even come close to the effect. It is quite charming and adds something special to the season. In 16 days I may be dreaming of a white Christmas. As I sit here and listen to "I'll Be Home for Christmas" I know that it doesn't matter to me what the weather is like. I do look forward so much to being home again. It will, however, be interesting to discover what kind of reaction I have being removed from the snow for three weeks and then brought back to it!

If you see me and I am a bald, 400 lb woman...

I had forgotten how much I like to munch when I write papers and how much I feel like pulling my hair out at the same time. Wait, the second part is not true, I am far too vain about my hair to seriously consider pulling it out. But I am getting sick of the hours spent doing neck exercises: down at the book, up at the computer screen, down at the book, up at the computer screen...

I bought a few books recently:
The Joy of Cooking, by Irma S. Rombauer - I purchased this as a compliment to The All New Joy of Cooking, since the newer version has more recipes but leaves out a lot of the basic cooking stuff the original had in it. Like a Kitchen-Aid mixer and a crock pot, no kitchen would be complete without them. I've got the cookbooks, now I just need to get the other things...
Lies My Teacher Told Me: Everything Your American History Textbook Got Wrong, by James W. Loewen - This was recommended by a friend who said it influenced her toward teaching high school history. I plan to use this as my airplane reading when I go home for Christmas in 13 days (not counting down or anything).
Desiring God's Will: Aligning Our Hearts with the Heart of God, by David G. Benner - This was something I found online while looking for another of his books to give to a friend for Christmas. It's a short book about cultivating discernment and the desire to do the things we know God wants us to do. I'm inclined to like it already, since I opened the book and read the following paragraph:

"An elderly man in our church when I was growing up was recognized by us kids as someone who didn't like children. (Kids can just tell that sort of thing!) One Sunday he turned around in the midst of the service and blasted my brother and me for inadvertently kicking his seat. It would have been bad enough if he had done so discreetly. But being almost deaf, he spoke so loudly that the whole service was interrupted. I recall wishing the ground would open up and swallow me then and there. But it didn't."

Alas, I must return to my homework. The world will never know just how racist Thomas Dixon was unless I tell them!

More quizzes to lighten things up

The time has come to post more quiz results! I feel like my blog has been so serious for a little bit too long now, so a good quiz or two ought to break that monotony!

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

--~~--~~--~~--~~--~~--

This next quiz is great. The picture is absolutely perfect, since it shows what my kissing experience really was - a kiss on the cheek. I've been an absolute prude ever since!

Your Kissing Purity Score: 91% Pure

You've hardly ever been kissed But the kisses you've given are very missed

Kissing Purity Test

Two weeks left

The semester ends in two weeks. Two weeks and I will have survived the first semester is how I feel now. I have a lot of work to do, but at least right now I am feeling motivated for the first time in several weeks to get my work done. Perhaps it is because I've done my pilates for ten sessions and, as they promised, I feel better. While, yes, I do feel better, somehow I don't think that is why. I think it is because I have regained a sense of direction. I spent a lot of this first semester floundering, wondering where I was going and whether this is what I really want out of life. I have decided that it is not really what I want, but closely related, and certainly not a waste of time nor of energy. I have a new goal and a new direction in mind that I think suits me better: secondary education. I want to teach at some level. This is no new thing, but I am realizing that I prefer the "innocence" of high school and undergraduate history to the analytical history of graduate school. I want to help students enjoy learning about history through creative interaction with the material, not to sit holed up in an archive for months at a time. I had a wonderful history teacher in high school who taught me to love history and to want to teach it, and I think I need to deflate my ego and dreams of glory and return to that first love of my youth, the love of a subject and desire to help others learn to love it as well. I have spent the last 6+ years of my life glad that I was out of high school, but I think I realize now that what I really need is to go back.

View from my apartment this evening

Uh-oh! I heard a loud noise coming from the general vicinity of where I park my car, so I looked out the window to make sure it was alright. My car was fine, but there was a vehicle driving by in the process of losing its front bumper. I looked again and saw the power pole and noticed that it didn't look quite right. They hit it hard enough that it snapped like a toothpick (I added some red circles so you can tell better where it broke). I went down when I noticed that the police had discovered their handiwork and told them as much as I saw (which wasn't much). Now I just hope that I can get my car out of that parking lot in the morning and that they get this thing fixed without taking the power down for a long time! Ah, life in the ghetto!

View from my apartment this morning

View from my apartment this morning while the snow is fresh (and still falling) and clean and white. It looks very pretty right now.

Happily ever after?

I like to watch chick flicks, and with few exceptions, chick flicks end with the assumption that the man and woman who just fell in love will live happily ever after. I was thinking about that this week and conjecturing why that is. Real life often tells a different story - they were happy for a time, but then they started to fight all the time and got a divorce, repeat as desired with a new person. I think that we (speaking in a strictly secular sense) like happily ever after stories because it gives us a glimmer of hope that we will find that rare relationship that lasts for a lifetime or shows resolution to problems that we wish we could resolve. Usually the exceptions are tragedies where the man and woman are kept apart by forces beyond their control (like a death, for example). Yesterday I saw a movie that had all of the elements of a happily ever after story, except that it was based on a true story. A marine goes to a foreign base and falls in love with a girl there. She can't leave the country without a little help, so they do some illegal things to get her out, then she has to go through the ordeal of getting asylum in the US. They get married in Vegas as soon as they can and finally come through all of the trials so they can be together (he gets demoted as low as he can as a result of his actions). Then the words on the screen come up and say that she was granted residency, followed by more words saying that they filed for divorce 5 years and one day after they got married. They went through all of that for a 5-year marriage? Leave the reality out and it makes for a great story. Put the reality back in and you think that they should have listened to the people who told them to stay away from each other. But there is something to glean from the movie. The girl is from a Muslim family (boy happens to be Mormon) and her mother tells her that their lives are sacred, and with that comes standards of behavior, and that is a good thing to embrace. For those of us who follow Christ, our lives are sacred, and we should embrace it with holy lives. Sacred lives hold marriage as sacred and do everything they can to make it work. Have we lost happily ever after because we have lost the sense of the sacred?

Day after Thanksgiving

Today is the biggest shopping day of the year, therefore I am going to remain locked in my apartment until it passes and may consider venturing forth into the world again tomorrow. I hate shopping in a crowd, so rather than some sort of shopper's dream I consider this day to be a shopper's nightmare. But the good news is that I no longer have to feel like I'm breaking some law by listening to Christmas music. So what Christmas music will I be playing, you ask? (Okay, so you don't ask, but I'm going to tell you anyway.) This Hope, A Cappella Christmas - CD I got in college one of the times they sang for chapel (my freshman year, I think) that has been on the top of my Christmas music list since; Il Divo, The Christmas Collection - this is a relatively new release, and, Jess, they don't sound quite as "schmoozy" as in their debut album, although I'm still trying to figure out how "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" is a Christmas song; VeggieTales, A Very Veggie Christmas - I have to get my fill of "The Eight Polish Foods of Christmas" and "Feliz Navidad" with the chicken dance in the middle of it; Handel, The Messiah - wouldn't be right to let the season pass without pulling that one out; I also have other Christmas CDs that I may or may not pull out over the next few weeks.
This seems an appropriate time to mention a few key countdowns: Christmas is in 30 days and I am going home for Christmas in 25 days.
Yesterday came with some firsts for me. It was the first time I spend Thanksgiving away from home. It was the first time I have looked outside and seen wild turkeys in the yard (while it was snowing, no less), which I found rather appropriate. It was the first time I drove in the snow (snow that stuck, anyway) and the first time I experienced some of the fun things that come with it, like skidding on ice (I didn't run into anything, wasn't going fast, and didn't spin out) and not being able to get enough traction to accelerate quickly at all when a light turned green - woohoo!

Thanksgiving is coming

The weather reports say that we are supposed to get snow off and on for most of the week. I might have a white Thanksgiving this year. I suppose I should appreciate the potential of a snowy holiday because I will be spending Christmas back home where it has been in the upper 70s and 80s. I highly doubt that there will be any snow on Christmas! I have been listening to Christmas music for the past few days anyway, so I'll just pretend that it is the Christmas season already. I received an invitation to go to someone's house on Thursday just now as I was writing about how I anticipated an uneventful Thanksgiving, so perhaps the Christmas season will have to wait a few more days. Anyway, I set out to make this my official Thanksgiving post, so I will commence my thoughts for the holiday.

"Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." ~ I Thessalonians 5:16-18

"Accept, O Lord, our thanks and praise for all that you have done for us. We thank you for the splendor of the whole creation, for the beauty of this world, for the wonder of life, and for the mystery of love.
We thank you for the blessing of family and friends, and for the loving care which surrounds us on every side.
We thank you for setting us at tasks which demand our best efforts, and for leading us to accomplishments which satisfy and delight us.
We thank you also for those disappointments and failures that lead us to acknowledge our dependence on you alone.
Above all, we thank you for your Son Jesus Christ; for the truth of his Word and the example of his life; for his steadfast obedience, by which he overcame temptation; for his dying, through which he overcame death; and for his rising to life again, in which we are raised to the life of your kingdom.
Grant us the gift of your Spirit, that we may know Christ and make him known; and through him, at all times and in all places, may give thanks to you in all things. Amen." ~ "A General Thanksgiving," The Book of Common Prayer

In everything give thanks. I fail at this one. I do not often give thanks for being set to a task that demands my best efforts. I am thinking of that paper that I am working on and just how thankful I have been that I have the opportunity to write it. Not very. Giving thanks for disappointments and failures? Not natural for me, either. It is much easier to set aside one day to be grateful and do our duty as American Christians to direct our feelings of thankfulness (that's the American duty) toward God (that's the Christian's version of the duty), but that is not God's will for me. God's will is along the lines of at all times and in all places and in all things. Really this is part of ascribing to God the glory that He is due, another 24-7 job.

Where we draw our illustrations is telling. I find myself thinking of the hymns we sang at church growing up. Sometimes I love the songs and other times I think they are completely cheesy, but even the cheesy ones can be amazingly rich in their simplicity. One of those songs that I find richly cheesy is "Count Your Blessings".
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.
That's really what this is all about. It is about counting the blessing that we have, and allowing ourselves to be amazed by God's goodness to us. That is the essense of giving thanks. So I will count some of my blessings, knowing that any list that I create will only scratch the surface. I know that there are many things for which I should be very thankful that I am not even aware of at this time. But I know of these (in no particular order!):

1. Whittier Hills Baptist Church - representative of my own spiritual heritage and so much more
2. Placerita Baptist Church - where I learned to be an adult in the church body
3. First Baptist of Johnson City - my church home now and hopefully for some time to come
4. My friends - for those who understand me and delight me and have helped me grow
5. My family - no family is perfect, but I appreciate mine very much
6. Material provision - I know no lack and never have
7. My dog back home - I consider him and the other pets I have had in the past to be real blessings
8. My travels - I have been many places and appreciate those opportunities - I am a different person because of these experiences and am glad that I took advantage of them
9. My education - while it is hard to be thankful in the thick of it, I have had great opportunities that many only dream of, and that is no small matter
10. Being a child of God - the greatest blessing of them all!
11. The things I like to take for granted - the ability to see color, relatively good health, the ability to walk, music, clothes that keep me warm, modern technology
12. Silly things that make a difference to me - my many varieties of tea, learning to knit, modified pilates exercises, candles to make my apartment smell inviting, having a great cookbook at my disposal...

I am thankful for these things and many others. God has done great things for me, and although I ignore them all too often, I acknowledge them now on this Thanksgiving.

"Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only wise God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen." ~ I Timothy 1:17

I am not normal

Somebody told me last night that I am not normal. She said that a lot of people give her funny looks, and when I said that I didn't give her any, she said that was because I am not normal. The first time she met me, she thought I was normal, but after last night, she knows better. (She is, herself, certainly not in the normal realm - I like her a lot!) It was an absolutely wonderful feeling, because I knew that for the first time in a long time I had let myself go and just had fun. Because I tend to be shy, most people really only see the normal front that I put up, but the two girls I was with last night brought me out of my shell. It's a wonder what good company, Christmas music almost a week before Thanksgiving (gasp!), festive munchies and an unscored game of Scrabble can do for a person. We had some great conversation about traditions, ballet, the Munich airport, movies, growing up with sisters and more, and none of it was that sterile conversation that I practice daily with all but a handful of my friends. It reminded me of dormroom scenes from college with my friends of three years (BJ, Sarah & Sarah know very well that I am not normal, and thanks for reminding me about the magazine boxes in the back of the library, BJ - great memories!), playing with a razor scooter and puddle jumping outside in a huge thunderstorm during finals week in Israel (Psycho Bob & Sarah (again) know that I am not normal), nights with the young ladies in my small group (Jessica, Shieryl & Alissa know that I am not normal), and other random times ("Indian man", dressing like a pink fairy and flitting around Joe's Crab Shack on Veronica's birthday, going to lunch with Sarah and flirting shamelessly with the waiter) when I shed my reserved, normal front and let my wild and crazy self out for some air. Here's to not being normal!

When is it right to quit?

The end of the first semester of graduate school is upon us, and there are murmurings of quitting from more than one first year student. We are asking ourselves if we are cut out for this. We are asking ourselves if this is really what we want to do. We are asking ourselves if we even like what we are doing. Some answer no. I admit that I have had some grave doubts regarding my career as a grad student. I'm not sure that I really want to do this. I ask myself why I have those thoughts. Is it pure sloth? Do I just not want to do the work that it takes? Or is it something deeper? Even if I decide that I do not want to pursue a PhD and career teaching college, should I continue with the MA and at least get that degree so I have something to show for my time and at least finish that much? Or is it better to not waste my time and money on a degree that I am not sure I want to use for anything? I think it is a combination. My dreams probably lie elsewhere, true, but I think that is being blown out of proportion by my desire to avoid the work. Then again, sometimes I think it is fear of not knowing what else to do with myself that keeps me going back for more. It is not a mistake that I am here, and I think I need to stick with this longer to figure out whether I really want this. I tend to think that God gives us the vision that we need to get us to where He wants us next, and for whatever reason, I need to be here now, and when it is time to move on I am sure God will give me a new vision. I don't have a new vision yet, so I think I need to stick with this, although I have doubts about it. I am not alone in asking questions, and there are some that have made decisions not to see this through all the way. I do not think that they are wrong, but cannot follow them yet. When will I be able to decide? Time will tell.

Writer's Block

I have been suffering from a bad case of writer's block for the past several days. I haven't been able to come up with anything interesting to write for my blog and my thoughts are far too jumbled for my paper I am writing to materialize itself on my computer screen. I managed to get one paragraph written, which took me quite a long time, and a basic form for the paper. Blank stares at the screen followed. Methinks I am out of practice. It has been several years since I last wrote an academic paper, so I think that once I get warmed up I will do better.

I was recently (yesterday, that is) given a large number of dishes and purchased a few that I felt I needed in order to make my kitchen truly ready for anything. This means that I, the one who hates to do dishes so much, have a kitchen full of dishes that need to be washed. That's one of my objectives for the day, in addition to getting at the very least a few pages of my paper written. Ah, life!

Tomorrow we have a church banquet at a hotel, which happens to be about 3 or 4 blocks from where I live, so I will have the opportunity to walk to church. Fortunately the weather report is positive - it is supposed to be rather cool and partly cloudy, but no rain. Speaking of which, it looks like the weather is perhaps cooling of for good now. The leaves have almost all fallen off of the trees now, leaving piles and piles of leaves everywhere. My first experience with a real Fall has been mostly pleasant so far.

Thanksgiving is this week. I can't believe it's already here. It will be my first major holiday away from home, which could be interesting. I don't know how I will react to it. I know that my sister is going to be at my parents' house for most of the week, and that my dog has been groomed for the holiday, which might prove enough to actually make me homesick, but I will be there for Christmas, which is coming up rather soon itself!

Random notes

I've become slightly more savvy with the whole blogging thing and have updated my blog to include links to photo albums (some are recently updated, recently as in a few minutes) and other blogs. I only have a link to one other blog right now because I don't want to link without permission. ("Burndive" has my blog linked on his, so I'm taking that as implied consent to link his.)

A note on the quizzes: I posted 3 of them today, which I will try not to do in the future, although I do have more that I took and have the HTML code for all saved in a special location for future posts. Just for kicks, if you know me fairly well, let me know what you think of the results. ;)

I'm heading back to CA for 23 days in 35 days. I look forward to spending 3 weeks with my dog, family and friends. I don't want to think about the things I'm supposed to be doing between now and then. Or what the weather is going to be like when I return in January.

I started my Christmas shopping already, in a purely non-procrastinating fashion (I flatter myself). I am hoping to get it mostly done by the time I get home. I love the internet. I shop here and have it delivered to my parents' house so I don't have to pack all that stuff in my luggage. I can then use the wrapping paper I bought last year and left with the stuff my mom bought (considering how much I love gift wrapping materials, it's an absolute wonder that I haven't purchased any since being here in NY).

The new Harry Potter movie is being released nationally this week, but I am afraid that I probably won't get to see it until I go home for Christmas. That's a bummer, but I'll survive.

World's Shortest Personality Test

I'll let other people judge whether or not this is true...

Your Personality Profile

You are pure, moral, and adaptable. You tend to blend into your surroundings. Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends. You believe that you live a virtuous life... And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye. As a result, people tend to crave your approval.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Who I was in High School

This one is, ahem, somewhat accurate as well, except that I did NOT hang out in the computer lab!

Brainy Kid

In high school, you were acing AP classes or hanging out in the computer lab. You may have been a bit of a geek back then, but now you're a total success!

Who Were You In High School?

My Funky Inner Hair Color?

For once, a quiz got it right! Er, about the hair color. And the fact that I'm a smart aleck...

Your Hair Should Be Red

Passionate, fiery, and sassy. You're a total smart aleck who's got the biggest personality around.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

Saying Grace

I had to attend a lecture at school yesterday. It was Veteran's Day, a national holiday, and I had to spend the late afternoon listening to a lecture called "Incredibility: Truth Syndromes of Occupation and Collaboration in Wartime China." Wow. Fortunately I did not have to go alone. I went with a friend and since I was driving she invited me to her house for a bit before we went. During the tour of the house, I noticed what I consider a wonderfully inviting smell: sauerkraut. Yes, that's right, pickled cabbage. Wonderful stuff. There was a crock pot on the counter full of sauerkraut and knockwurst. We started talking and I confessed to loving the stuff, so she invited me to have dinner there after the lecture. She and her fiance were also having another friend over for dinner. When we sat down for dinner, I sat with my hands folded in front of me on the table and was thinking about how odd it would be to sit at a table with a group of people and not pray before eating. My friend asked me if I was used to saying grace before meals, to which I confessed that I was. Whether it was my posture or her knowledge of my religious beliefs that prompted the question I don't know, but it matters very little. Her fiance's family apparently always did so before meals as well, so we decided that we would do so, and I was asked to say grace. This was an honor for me, yet it made me nervous. Prayer is for an audience of one: God. Yet I was nervous. I have not tried to hide my faith from my friends at school, and here was one way to manifest my faith. What I said to God in front of three people that, from what I know, do not share my beliefs was important to me. "Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub" was not going to cut it. God gave us the day, the company and the food, and I thanked Him for all of them in turn, addressing Him as Father. I don't know if they will remember anything about that, but I am glad for an opportunity to show that God is real and can be known, and that He is the source of all good things. Just a few seconds in time and just a few words, but those words meant a lot to me. God gave me a friend and a moment in her home to acknowledge Him.

"Every good thing given and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow." -James 1:17

First Mate for a day

I am a pirate. I like to pillage and get involved in swordfights and brawls. I've been known to say things like, "Ahoy, matey!" My sailing skills are legendary. And I do all of this from the comfort of my living room. I confess, I am an online pirate with Puzzle Pirates. I started out as a low-life greenie with no experience. I became a subscriber for the following excellent reasons: at the time I signed up, you could only play for free for 30 days and, more importantly, subscriber pirates can wear better clothes and do more stuff. I became part of a crew and worked with them for a few weeks before I was made an officer, which is the goal of every pirate. As an officer you can command ships and therefore pillage whenever you want. You can also wear officer clothing so that everyone else knows that you are an officer. Then I was promoted to fleet officer within days and gained more privilege and prestige. Not long after that I was promoted to Senior Officer, the second highest rank possible within a crew. I bought myself a small boat and decorated it. A few days ago, the captain of my crew gave me the title of First Mate. While it did not raise my rank officially, it made a statement that I was foremost among the senior officers of the crew, the second-in-command over a crew of over 60 active members. That felt good! But it was short-lived. Within 36 hours of becoming First Mate, the captain of the crew approached me and offered me a choice: become captain of the crew or merge with another crew. I could be captain. That is the highest rank possible, and all through promotions! I could create my own crew and be captain, but earning it feels so much better. But I thought about how my responsibilities would change. I run to the captain when I have a problem with another officer or crew member who is not following the crew's standards of behavior and know that other officers do the same. I voted to merge the crew with another crew. My captain is no longer a captain; she's now a senior officer like me, and I gave up my position as First Mate to be just another senior officer. They gave me a new title: Scribe. I am now Lizziebennet, Senior Officer and Scribe of the crew Arabian Knights of the flag Camelot on the Cobalt Ocean. Yarrr!

Procrastination

Yes, procrastination, every student's most reliably fair-weather friend. Why do today what you could put off until tomorrow? I procrastinate. Horribly. If there is no deadline alarmingly close, there is no work being done. Usually I procrastinate with homework, but there are a few other things that I will also put off. Laundry and dishes, usually. With dishes, I can at least do them at any hour in the comfort of my apartment, so procrastination there typically only means that I have too many dishes to fit in the sink/drying rack at the same time. I procrastinate there because I hate doing dishes. With laundry, I procrastinate because it's a small time commitment and I have to leave my apartment to get it done. I have the option of the extremely frightening basement in the house or getting in my car and driving a few blocks to the public laundry facilities. I typically prefer the latter since it takes less time, but with either, I have to go outside and carry my laundry across the street to my car or around the house and down the stairs. This is where procrastination becomes a bit of a problem. In sunny Southern California, this wouldn't generally be an issue, but here, I have good reason for calling procrastination a fair-weather friend. I should have done laundry on Friday, but it took much longer than they told me it would to put new tires on. Then I should have done it Saturday, but I played Scrabble instead. Sunday the weather was supposed to be bad, and I would rather not be traipsing around with a full laundry basket in the middle of a thunderstorm. Monday I was doing homework and didn't have time before class. Yesterday I got up too late to get it done before 2:00 and had to be home in the afternoon to accept a UPS delivery. Today I absolutely had to get it done, and, of course, it rained today. Procrastination left me when the weather was bad. Fortunately it stopped raining long enough for me to get some of my laundry done and back home. I know that procrastination is an unwise thing to practice, but I still do it. Maybe next time I'll get stuck in a downpour and will finally learn that such fair-weather friends should be avoided like the plague.

Book of Common Prayer

I have a Book of Common Prayer approved for use in the Episcopal Church of America. I like to read from it on occasion. These are a few of the prayers that I like best.

Lord Jesus Christ, who didst stretch out thine arms of love on the hard wood of the cross that everyone might come within the reach of thy saving embrace: So clothe us in thy Spirit that we, reaching forth our hands in love, may bring those who do not know thee to the knowledge and love of thee; for the honor of thy Name. Amen.

Everliving God, whose will it is that all should come to you through your Son Jesus Christ: Inspire our witness to him, that all may know the power of his forgiveness and the hope of his resurrection; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

O God, whom saints and angels delight to worship in heaven: Be ever present with your servants who seek through art and music to perfect the praises offered by your people on earth; and grant to them even now glimpses of your beauty, and make them worthy at length to behold it unveiled for evermore; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

O God, in the course of this busy life, give us times of refreshment and peace; and grant that we may so use our leisure to rebuild our bodies and renew our minds, that our spirits may be opened to the goodness of your creation; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Almighty God, whose loving hand hath given all that we possess: Grant us grace that we may honor thee with our substance, and, remembering the account which we must one day give, may be faithful stewards of thy bounty, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Almighty and eternal God, so draw our hearts to thee, so guide our minds, so fill our imaginations, so control our wills, that we may be wholly thine, utterly dedicated unto thee; and then use us, we pray thee, as thou wilt, and always to thy glory and the welfare of thy people; through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.

Lord, make us instruments of your peace. Where there is hatred, let us sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is discord, union; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy. Grant that we may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen.

Quotes I like

Occasionally I come across something in a book or movie that stands out to me for one reason or another. Here are some that I like:

"He liked to fish; he seemed to take pride in being able to like such a stupid occupation."
-Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina
(Disclaimer: I thought this was funny, it does not necessarily reflect my opinion)

"Look here, Ivan Denisovich, your soul wants to pray to God, so why don't you let it have its way?"
-Alexander Solzhenitsyn, One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich

"If books were to be admitted or rejected according to the moral character or their authors, the library shelves would be empty."
-Victoria & Albert

"Did you fall in love?"
"Sir?"
"Your father said, 'Marry first, fall in love later.' Did you?"
"I don't know that I've ever thought about it."
"How very English of you."
"Yes, yes. I'm not quite sure how to answer you, sir. The home that we've made together, the children, well, these have certainly created a, a bond of very strong affection. Could you call it love? Yes, I think you could. Not a grand passion, of course, but perhaps something deeper, more durable."
-Victoria & Albert
(It is so amazing to me that such a dialogue exists in a movie made so recently. It seems to go against all modern conception of what love is all about. I think it's great, and this brief scene is one of the reasons that I would count this among my absolute favorite movies.)

A midnight snack for the mind

A midnight compilation of relatively random thoughts:

My dad is singing in the choir at my church back home for the Christmas season. I am happy about this because I sang in the choir for three years and tried at various times to get him to join, but he never did. Now that I'm not there, he's starting to sing again. Because he's in the choir, he is in contact with the worship pastor. The worship pastor asked him to ask me if I would be available to sing on the worship team at some time during the three weeks I will be home between semesters. Of course! I'll do it gladly! They've also decided that I can sing with the choir for the Christmas Eve service and on Christmas morning. I get home on Tuesday night and will be there for one practice on Wednesday evening to sing Christmas Eve Saturday and Christmas morning Sunday. They are even going to see about mailing the music to me so I am familiar with it before I show up. I find that all rather amusing. It should be fun. I think I would rather do it this way than sit in a pew the whole time I was back home!

I can go for a long time without talking to some of my friends (even though I insist on calling my parents almost every day whether or not there is anything to talk about), but I've spoken at least briefly to three in the past three days - one friend from college who lives in Oregon, one long-time friend who lives close to where we grew up, and one more recent but very close friend from church back home. There are cycles of emotions when you (meaning I, of course) move from one place to another and start the process of making new friends. At first there is little expectation of finding good friends right away, so if you don't have a new best friend you consider it no tragedy. Then you start to get to know some people, and that's exciting, even if you know none of them well. The next stage is when you know people a little bit better but still haven't found that really close friend, and that's where I find myself now. I know more people and spend time with them more often now, but I am starting to feel lonely for the closeness I had with friends back home and in college. This lonely time is the same time that I heard three dear voices. I needed that, especially since they represent the three previous stages of my life: childhood up through high school, college and the time between college and my move to New York. God has always provided me with friends, so I have no reason to doubt that I will find good, close ones here. Funny thing is that with two of them, the ones from more recent times, I knew them for a while before we became good friends. One I considered a tag-along and resented for quite some time before realizing that she became one of the dearest people in my life. Another I had actually known for several years and did not like at all and was convinced that she did not like me either. One heart to heart chat later I had found a wonderful friend. Sometimes our best friends come from the most unexpected places, so if I make expectations, I need to expect that God is going to blow me away with blessings.

Scrabble can help stave off loneliness, too. Saturday morning and afternoon were going to be devoted to cleaning my apartment and doing laundry, but mid-way through sweeping the kitchen floor I got a better offer. My third week at church here I started talking to an older woman who was sitting beside me during the service (this was before I found out that the people my age sat up in the balcony) and she invited me to lunch. After lunch we were talking and she mentioned that she likes to play Scrabble but finds it hard to find Scrabble partners. I like playing Scrabble, so I told her to give me a call if she ever needed someone to play with her. She called on Saturday and asked me to go to lunch with her and then to her house for a game of Scrabble. I lost, as I always do with that game, but had a good time in the process. We then walked through her spacious back yard through which runs a creek and houses her husband's impressive collection of tractors. She told me about her doll collection and about how they really don't keep chickens, even though there are about a dozen of them on their property. Friends can be much older or younger than we are, and that is good for the body of Christ as well as for us personally.

There is a line from the hymn "Great is Thy Faithfulness" that I remind myself of over and over: "All I have needed Thy had hath provided." God gives us what we need, and if we don't have it we don't really need it. I believe that. If I bemoan the fact that I don't have a close friend yet I need to look at what I have: Jesus. He is a friend, and if I am not content with that it is because I am not seeking His friendship as I ought to. What a friend we have in Jesus. All I have needed has been provided. (See the comment I posted here for a hymn/poem by John Newton that I discovered after writing this.)

How do you spell relief?

I am starting to feel the panic of a rapidly ending semester. Three 20 page papers are looming large and they're really freaking me out. This is on top of my regular reading for class, with which, I confess, I have not been keeping up particularly well. I have a rough draft due for one paper and I thought it might be due this week, and although the professor volunteered postponing the due date for me, that was making me very nervous. I have to get it done soon! I checked the due date and it isn't due until next week. I still have 10 days. That makes me very happy. I then checked to see what book is due for one of my classes on Thursday, since grad school for a history student generally means one book per class per week, and we have a week off of reading this week. We finished all of the reading for my other Thursday class last week. I have no reading due until Monday, and even that book the professor is not expecting any of us to finish. I have a break! I actually have an opportunity to work on my projects without worrying about not doing my reading for class! That's how I spell relief!

Peace and hope

I was thinking of this hymn just a few days ago, and when Sarah H. posted it on her blog yesterday, I decided I needed to copy it to mine (including the fourth verse with which I was previously unfamiliar). This is probably my favorite hymn, but it does not get sung often enough. Do we think we don't need to be reminded of these things? Do we think our souls are at peace all of the time? I need to be reminded, since my soul certainly is not still more often than I care to admit. God is in control, every bit as much as He was the day the earth was created, and He has prepared a place for us and will come again and receive us unto Himself, that where He is there we may be also.

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessèd we shall meet at last.

Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, be leaving, to Thy Lord on high;
Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,
So shall He view thee with a well pleased eye.
Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.

Well over 13 million compared to about 250,000

I moved from the west to the east and from the south to the north and from a heavily populated area to what feels to me like a small town in one fell swoop. Whittier and Binghamton are two different worlds. I will profile some observations on the two:

Population:
Whittier has about 89,000 people; the Los Angeles basin has a total population of somewhere between 13 and 17 million, depending on where you look.
Binghamton has about 46,000 people; the greater Binghamton area has, according to Wikipedia, about 250,000 people.

Weather:
Whittier has weather ranging generally between summer highs in the 90s to winter lows in the 40s. There are, of course, days of higher and lower temperatures. Oh, and that's dry heat during the summer. Rain happens during "winter" and some during spring, and is rather rare in any form other than a morning drizzle during the summer.
Binghamton theoretically doesn't get really hot during the summer, although it did this year. One source listed the average high around 80 during the hottest month. The lows are, well, low. Listed average low in the coldest month is 17. It gets colder. And it rains all year round, except for when it's snowing. Oh, and there was a rather impressive thunderstorm tonight. It didn't last long, but the lighting was coming about every 5 seconds on the horizon as it approached (yeah, so I was counting the seconds between them).

Shopping/Dining:
Whittier area: Starbucks all over the place, Target in at least 4 or 5 locations within 20 minutes, Costco in at least 3 places, Sam's Club, WalMart in a few, fast food places everywhere, shopping malls in every city, Old Navy in a few locations, Ann Taylor Loft, Cost Plus World Market (love that place!), Trader Joe's, Ikea, large grocery stores (where the tortillas are not refrigerated and are still fresh) every few blocks, almost every kind of ethnic food imaginable, etc; almost every place visited regularly is part of a chain, with the exception of a few places I would go to eat lunch, and those because they were close to work. In-N-Out; it's what a hamburger's all about - I'd like a #2 animal style with extra pickles and animal style fries, please.
Binghamton area: One each of the following: WalMart, Sam's Club, Target, Old Navy, Starbucks. As far as I know, there is only one real mall. There seem to be a lot of small, local businesses. There are major chain restaurants, but you may have to drive a bit to get to them. They have a Cracker Barrel. The produce in the grocery stores is often disappointing unless you shop at Wegman's, and you find your tortillas with the dairy products, refrigerated, yet still not always the freshest tasting in the world.

Landscape:
Whittier has some hills. If the sky is clear there is a beautiful view of the mountains, which is especially nice when they get snow. It's well irrigated, so it has a decent amount of green growing, most of which has been planted. The lesser-populated areas in Southern California are often not worth visiting, as they are almost all dry and brown. There are a lot of good places to camp. Let's not forget the beach: miles of sand and ocean within easy driving distance; bring your sunblock.
Binghamton itself is rather flat, but the surrounding areas have hills covered in trees. It is very green and it does not take long to enter more "rural" areas. There have been sightings of things like corn fields. It is really quite lovely, at least in the summer and fall; I have yet to see enough of it during winter to judge and none of it in spring.

What we do for fun:
Whittier: Go to a movie, but be sure to specify which theater. Hang out at Starbucks. Go to Disneyland, Knott's Berry Farm or Six Flags' Magic Mountain. There are at least 4 water parks, too. Go to the beach. Go to Downtown Los Angeles and take in a Broadway musical or hear the Los Angeles Philharmonic Orchestra. Hang out in the shopping centers where there are 5 or 6 fast food restaurants. Go to an Angels or Dodgers game. Go to a Lakers or Clippers (not that you'd want to) game. Go to a Kings or Ducks game. Go to a professional soccer game. Go to San Diego and hang out in old town or go to the Wild Animal Park, the zoo or Sea World. Go skiing, snowboarding, water skiing, wakeboarding, kneeboarding, surfing, sledding, etc. Go to Hollywood, Santa Monica, or Balboa. Take a boat to Catalina (the island of romance).
Binghamton: Go to someone's hard to find house 30 minutes away. Go to a corn maze. Go on a hay ride (haunted or otherwise). Okay, so I'm teasing here. There are several things to do, I am sure, I just haven't done them yet.

The People:
Whittier: Well, there are lots of them. They come in all shapes, sizes and ethnicities (all of which have stereotypes attached to them whether or not they deserve it). Californians have no accent. Certainly we have our colloquialisms, but I couldn't tell you what they are. Generally we demand excellent service and want everything done very quickly. Some of them participate in poking affectionately (okay, so they're in the minority, but are very important to me).
Binghamton: They say "wicked" all the time. There is very little accent, more pronounced in some than in others (yes, the pun was intended). They drive more slowly and a little bit less courteously (yes, I said less courteously) and probably wouldn't be able to drive in LA during rush hour (okay, that's teasing again). They dress a little bit more practically.

Well, that's enough comparison for now. Different worlds, but not so very different at the same time. Whittier/LA is home, it's where I grew up. It is very much part of me and affects the way I respond to my new home. Binghamton is different, but I like it (or at least the people, especially those from church) and am in no hurry to leave. People ask why I left California to come out here. This is where God has me, and I don't look back, although I may look forward to visiting California, where I am going to get my #2 animal style with extra pickles and animal style fries and a grande decaf toffee nut latte with no whip.

Since I'm still new at this...

Rules about comments: If you are not commenting directly on my postings, make an unrelated comment that does not include something by which I can identify you (leave a name, a meaningful description of your relationship to me, use a nickname or something else that I will understand and Mr. Blog Comment Spammer won't think of), or just spam my page with comments promoting your blog (see comments below), I will delete your comments. Unfortunately, I've already gotten the anonymous spam comments while the blog is only a few hours old.

I have some pictures posted online. There aren't many pictures in most of the albums, but you can see them here:
Family: http://www.ringo.com/album.html?ai=35109355&origin=photoinvite
My beloved dog: http://www.ringo.com/album.html?ai=35107129&origin=photoinvite
Friends from CA: http://www.ringo.com/album.html?ai=35109502&origin=photoinvite
My trip to Costa Rica: http://www.ringo.com/album.html?ai=35107526&origin=photoinvite

Poetry & John Donne

"...I do not like to boast of my own child, but to be sure, Jane--one does not often see anybody better looking. It is what everybody says. I do not trust my own partiality. When she was only fifteen, there was a gentleman in my brother Gardiner's in town so much in love with her that my sister-in-law was sure he would make her an offer before we came away. But, however, he did not. Perhaps he thought her too young. However, he wrote some verses on her, and very pretty they were."
"And so ended his affection," said Elizabeth impatiently. "There has been many a one, I fancy, overcome in the same way. I wonder who first discovered the efficacy of poetry in driving away love!"
"I have been used to consider poetry as the food of love," said Darcy.
"Of a fine, stout, healthy love it may. Everything nourishes what is strong already. But if it be only a slight, thin sort of inclination, I am convinced that one good sonnet will starve it entirely away."
-Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

This is one of my favorite passages from literature. I like it because I usually don't particularly care for poetry; I greatly prefer prose. (I also like it because it addresses a very real phenomenon: too many words of affection too early in a relationship can drive away that slight, thin sort of inclination. That, however, is another issue which I do not care to address in detail at this time.) What I want to express is my appreciation for the poet who managed to teach me that there can be real, great enjoyment in reading poetry. That poet is John Donne (1572-1631). I think I was in high school when I discovered the following poem, a holy sonnet, which became instantly my favorite and remains so to this day (I confess that I do like poetry better now than I did then, although for me it did not take a serious accident like it did for Louisa Musgrove in Jane Austen's Persuasion). He uses words with double meanings (eg. enthrall means to captivate or charm, or to put or hold in slavery or subjugate; ravish means to fill with strong emotion, especially joy, or to seize and carry off by force) that make this poem rich. He is asking God to forcibly enter his life, because he wants that relationship but finds his sinful nature getting in the way. I will spare further commentary, except to say that I am including the poem as it was written, so it has late-16th, early-17th century English with some odd use of apostrophies. ("Faine", or fain as it is currently spelled, means willingly or gladly.)

Batter my heart, three-person'd God; for, you
As yet but knocke, breathe, shine, and seeke to mend;
That I may rise, and stand, o'erthrow mee,'and bend
Your force, to breake, blowe, burn and make me new.
I, like an usurpt towne, to'another due,
Labour to'admit you, but Oh, to no end,
Reason your viceroy in mee, mee should defend,
But is captiv'd, and proves weake or untrue,
Yet dearely'I love you,'and would be lov'd faine,
But am betroth'd unto your enemie,
Divorce mee,'untie, or breake that knot again,
Take mee to you, imprison mee, for I
Except you'enthrall mee, never shall be free,
Nor ever chast, except you ravish mee.
-John Donne

A Puritan Prayer

Father of Jesus,
Dawn returns,
But without thy light within no outward light can profit;
Give me the saving lamp of thy Spirit that I may see thee,
the God of my salvation, the delight of my soul,
rejoicing over me in love.
I commend my heart to thy watchful care,
for I know its treachery and power;
Guard its every portal from the wily enemy,
Give me quick discernment of his deadly arts,
Help me recognize his bold disguise as an angel of light,
and bid him begone.
May my words and works allure others to the highest walks
of faith and love!
May loiterers be quickened to greater diligence by my example!
May worldlings be won to delight in acquaintance with thee!
May the timid and irresolute be warned of coming doom
by my zeal for Jesus!
Cause me to be a mirror of thy grace,
to show others the joy of thy service,
May my lips be well-tuned cymbals sounding thy praise,
Let a halo of heavenly-mindedness sparkle around me
and a lamp of kindness sunbeam my path.
Teach me the happy art of attending to things temporal
with a mind intent on things eternal.
Send me forth to have compassion on the ignorant and miserable.
Help me to walk as Jesus walked,
my only Saviour and perfect model,
his mind my inward guest,
his meekness my covering garb.
Let my happy place be amongst the poor in spirit,
my delight the gentle ranks of the meek.
Let me always esteem others better than myself,
and find in true humility an heirdom to two worlds.

-Taken from The Valley of Vision

How's the weather?

Weather is supposed to be the safest of all topics, so I'll consider it a good starting point for my blog. It snowed last week. I got so many comments from people telling me how exciting it was and how jealous they were that I experienced snow. I was not excited, nor was I even pleased to see it. It was pretty, I will grant you, but there are some aesthetic pleasures I can do without. I looked outside and saw a bunch of tiny road hazards falling from the sky. I was thinking about getting into my car and driving in the snow. I was thinking about how I still had no snow removal devices for my car and how I did not have appropriate tires yet. While I have since purchased a snow brush/ice chipper-scraper thing and paid through the nose for snow tires, I am still absolutely paranoid about the arrival of winter. The signs are everywhere. The leaves on the trees have turned yellow and are falling in large numbers. Alternate side parking (to allow the snow plows to do their thing) officially started on Tuesday. People have been seen with heavy coats, hats, scarves and gloves. While the weather has been lovely and warm for the past several days, "Indian Summer" is upon us, and that means one thing and one thing only: winter is coming. With winter comes the new challenge of driving on snow and ice. It promises long months of short days full of bad weather. I've been told horror stories of how your toes get cold and don't warm up until spring. The changing of the seasons is not all bad, however. Fall is really lovely, at least when it isn't raining. I have experienced hay rides and a corn maze. I have an excuse to shop for new clothes that I will need to stay warm all winter. I am sure I will also enjoy sledding and snowmen. I will have a new appreciation for spring when it arrives. Once this is over, the cycle will start again, but next time around, I will have experience on my side and perhaps I will learn to appreciate snow for it's aesthetic qualities.

Jumping on the bandwagon

Have I finally succumbed to peer pressure? Am I a technological lemming? Everyone is doing it, so why not me? Alas, I have jumped off the cliff onto the bandwagon and created a blog. Why? I don't necessarily like sending mass e-mails and really do have a number of friends and family involved in the madness already. It may come as a surprise that I, the Scribe, have resisted this for so long. Perhaps I am afraid that in creating a blog I will be creating a monster. If I put my brain into the body of a blog, fed by a constant stream of electricity, like Dr. Frankenstein will I find an uncontrollable creature of my own creation on the loose causing mass destruction? Mass distraction to the author, perhaps. That should be my real fear. But as a student of American history, I know that we have nothing to fear but fear itself, so I lay aside my fears and venture forth into the world of bloggers, fingers poised to produce words for you, my dear reader, to enjoy, ignore, scoff at, take to heart, or use as a sleeping aid (better than Ny-Quil and faster acting, too!).