Drive By

Brought back to this old blog again because I was trying to recall my year in Trinity.  Seems like it was ages ago, yet I do still feel very much like a student (as opposed to a working adult).  (On a side note, can't believe I'll be 24 in about a week, and D was this age when we first met when I was in Trinity!)

Reading entries from back in 2008 about Vanessa and Yeongshen brings a strange mixed feeling of familiarity and foreignness.  People really do drift in and out of your life ey.

Well.  I'm glad i regained access to this blog again (it'd be such a joke if I had to walk up to the blogger team tomorrow and ask them if they can grant me access to this very personal space of mine - dont think i've spoken to any of them).  Who knows if and when I'll start blogging?

Like I'm in High School Again

Funny how I still dream of him once in awhile, and funny how each dream seems to represent a break through - at least on my part.  Yet I'm not sure how he has dealt with it all.  Kong Kong said never to mention his name again - to dust off the past like it never was there.

Funny how something or someone once so important can be made like it never was.  

I wonder if I'll ever find something or someone that causes me to feel so filled, so satisfied, yet leaves me desiring and yearning for more.  And i know in my head what the answer should be but o that my heart would know.

Part of me wants to rebel and be that prodigal son.  Im done with cliches, slogans and over used phrases.  I want something that makes me feel as alive as the taste of adventure and deep deep love.

back to melbourne

while closing the fridge door just now, i caught sight of madder moon's name card and remembered the initial weeks of being back  here in singapore.

i remember telling the artist/owner of Maddermoon that it was refreshing hearing her call Singapore her new home, and speaking so fondly of this country. i remember that at that point in time i was still slightly apprehensive about being back here.  on top of that, i was trying to get through my relationship complications.

and now i'm more settled in singapore. in between the visit to maddermoon and now, i've gone back to melbourne once.  that trip felt a bit like i was intruding a little - because i kind of never left, yet i was not part of the life there, and all of a sudden i was back for easter. funny feeling. i dont remember too much of it save for easter camp, so i reckon this time back, i'll do a lot more writing.

just last night i logged on to facebook again (something which i've not done much of since starting work).  Seeing pictures of the melbourne happenings, like the kids church picnic, and birthday celebrations - that's making me pretty excited about going back to see what has happened over the past few months which have just flown right by.

scarlette has definitely grown! she's so cute in the pictures. i wonder what her personality is like in real life!  a baby's growth in her first year is evident. but asking myself how i've grown in the past year - now that's not as straightforward. hopefully this break will give me some time to gather my thoughts and my year.

apart from catching up with so many amazing people, and.. getting some overdue exercise, and living the melbourne life..i think it's going to be quite exciting paying a visit to the Page office in Melbourne. :) completely different market. wonder if that really means a completely different breed of consultants.  well we'll find out.

i am a tree

God of all. over all. love so extravagant. ridiculous. exorbitant. so costly for me. heartache over being hosea's wife. what can i say.  you are beautiful. if grace is an ocean, i am sinking.
the first hit of  such a powerful agape




bumping into him tonight took me completely by surprise. but something i am thankful for.  still good.

For the 20 something year old.

A couple of things i found interesting reading this article:
1) not making a choice is a choice.  Tim's mentioned that before though I can't remember what context it was in.  When we dont know what to do and just sit around doing nothing till we know what to do, that in itself is a choice.  Even choosing not to choose is a choice.
" 'These 20-somethings think they are keeping their options open, but they are actually closing doors.' Resumes start look thin, their peers begin surpassing them and they may get stuck in underemployment."

2) Learn how to have healthy relationships.  Date people who you can see yourself being with long-term and not put it off till you think you're "old enough". Love is still just as important in your 20s.

3) apparently more than half of all marriages are preceded by cohabitation. things get messy when people dont communicate their expectations of cohabitation and its significance.. then as Nigel says, "it's easier to stay in a bad relationship than to get out of it." 
"cohabitation can lead to marriages that aren't compatible because it becomes so difficult to untangle."

http://www.forbes.com/pictures/fijj45emk/how-you-spend-your-20s-will-define-you/

bob day

June 25 - chopped off my long hair again and traded it for a bob.

today was probably the first time i've ever had such a proper serious conversation with dad without him going on and on about the same thing and without him talking nonsense.

i think i can finally articulate one thing i respect about him.

we talked about regrets, parenting, filial piety, spending, bgr, marriage.. i think we did well covering so much in sufficient depth over the 4 chicken wings and drumsticks i devoured.

and for the first time, i could tell him why i last cried without having him rant and nag about the usual things. he just said.. "that's good.  I think that's normal".  dayum. never expected that coming from him in such an understanding tone.

A quote on the biblical view of marriage

It paints a portrait of two sinners, committing to the task of one another, for the sake of one another, until death do them part. It’s two imperfect people, committing to the sanctifying work of expressing Jesus’ self-sacrificial love, to their lover, so that they might see him or her become the person God has always intended them to be, knowing full well that neither of them have yet to reach this goal.

taken from http://crossshapedstuff.com/2013/06/04/how-i-know-my-wife-married-the-wrong-person/