I survived!

Word of caution: this post explains in detail the goings on with my surgery and all, so skip this post if you're one of the many people I've grossed out lately. If you're interested in medical education and a little bit of "gross", then read on. I can't sit, so I AM sacrificing to do this update.

I survived the bathroom terrorist attack on Thursday. I have to say, the nasty solution you have to drink (I think it ended up being 10 glassfuls total) is far worse than the result it creates. Other than boredom in the bathroom, it wasn't that bad. No cramping. No launching off the seat. I was surprised at how not-miserable it was. Maybe it was the new prescription. I had to drink HalfLytely, just so you know.

I had to pump a lot of milk so Maren could care for Paisli while I was trapped in the bathroom. I couldn't nurse her until my system was cleared in case it gave her Montezuma's revenge also. I also had to pump for while I was in surgery under anesthesia.

When Friday and surgery rolled around, I was starving and so thirsty! I had an empty system and all I could think about was a big drink and lots of food.

I made it through surgery...with only one complication.

They messed up on my IV. They always do. I have never had an IV inserted on the first try where there wasn't a problem...can't get the vain, my skin's too tough, the tapes to hold it down are giving trouble, the tech is new and can't figure out what they're doing, etc...

This time I thought things would be different. I even told the nurse about my IV curse, and we all thought this would be my first successful IV. Wrong.

I was feeding Paisli, holding her head in the crook of my arm, and after she was done, I noticed that I had major swelling in my hand/arm. From my hand almost down to my elbow, I was PUFFED UP! I mean about triple size. I rang a nurse and she was really surprised to see it. She said the IV was infiltrated, meaning it either missed the vein or went through the vein, so the fluid was going into my tissues and puffing me up. They switched the IV to the other hand, and all was well, though my hand is still swollen today. Apparently it was something like 3 years since that had happened there previously. Johnson Jinx! Of course it would happen to me!

When it was time for surgery, they put the adorable cap on my head and rolled me around about 10 corners and through 10 doors, or so it seemed.


The O.R. was freezing cold, so they put warm blankets on me and hooked up my heart monitors. The anesthesiologist joked about how my surgery was really "a pain in the a..", then he put an oxygen mask on me, told me to breathe deeply, then I woke up in recovery. I was pretty groggy for a while, but the worst thing was that I had the worst case of dry-mouth on the planet. I couldn't talk or eat (not even a juicy apple) without drinking something at the same time, or I would have choked. I'm still pretty parched today. My uvula (the dangly thing in the back of your throat) is sore from the tube they put down my throat, but I'm okay. I survived! I made Hyrum pinky swear to me before surgery that if something happened to me and I didn't make it, he would put the kids first and not remarry someone right away out of loneliness or "lack of action".

My surgeon is weird. I never saw him, aside from the 2 appointments in his office last week. I was a bit concerned about his hygiene, considering he spread my butt cheeks to check out my damage in his office with NO GLOVES ON! Good thing I'm a clean person! But how many butts did he spread that day before he got to mine? Gross!

He never spoke to me before or after the surgery. He spoke to Hyrum and told him that I had 3 external hemorrhoids that he cut off and one internal one that he banded. I'm black with bruising and extremely tender, and I have one open sore that I can't figure out why he didn't stitch, but the vicodin is helping, and it's making Paisli sleep more too, so that's helpful. I'm just glad it's over. I'm terrified about going to the bathroom though! I couldn't pee for almost 8 hours, even though I tried all their suggestions and they took ultrasounds of my bladder to confirm that I did indeed have liquid in there. They finally gave me a catheter to empty me, then called it good and sent me home. I have yet to do "#2", so I'm pretty nervous. I've been eating tons of fruits and veggies and whole wheat stuff with lots of fiber, and drinking lots, AND taking stool softeners, so I hope all goes well. People don't normally have to push something out of their incision, so that's what makes this surgery so tough to recover from. I've been instructed to take lots of sitz baths, but they sting like the dickens when I'm done! It literally brings me to tears! It's like dozens of bee stings on my tenders!

Lucky for me, Elisabeth (Hyrum's oldest sister), is in town now and is taking care of my little ones for me, along with Maren. I'm so grateful for their help because there's no way I could take care of them without help right now. I also don't like to cry in front of them because it makes them worried. Hyrum's mom helped to take care of Paisli during the surgery, so I've had lots of wonderful family helping me out so much. Hyrum's mom left for Utah today, and we'll miss her a ton. Kiersa especially attached to her during this week. Maren leaves on Tuesday for Utah, and I think Elisabeth will go with her, depending on how much I need her...I think.

So all is well here now...I think. I survived anyway! And already I'm glad I had the surgery because I can tell a difference.

Bandon!!

Yeah, I can squeeze in one more post before I go into hibernation!

You already saw Paisli's pirate look. Now here's the start of a smile,

and a couple of silly faces.


Like father like daughter, with that tongue sticking out for pictures.

This house we've been staying at in Bandon is pretty nice, compared to squishing everyone into our 400 sq ft apartment. If you're not familiar with Bandon, it's a quaint little town on the Oregon coast...a tourist trap. It's only 30 minutes from my house. This house has a view of the harbor and a little bit of the ocean, and we can watch seals and sea lions play in the water and watch the tide rise and fall. The weather has been cruddy this week with the rain and all, and I've been fighting laryngitis or something that makes my voice all low and cracky, with a cough and congestion, but other than that, it's been great fun to just laze about a bigger place and go on walks and visit the ocean.

Here are Talea, Braxton and Hyatt throwing rocks into the harbor.


My parents and the twins came up on Thursday night and stayed until Sunday afternoon, so they got to stay at the beach house too.





We went down to the harbor where Maren collected rocks,


Talea collected shells,



Hyatt and Braxton threw rocks into the water,



Kiersa attempted to eat every rock on the shore,


and Paisli and Jaiden just sat around.



John was there too,


As well as Weston


and Dallas.


Hyrum stayed at the house to catch up on sleep after a rough night with crying babies.

At low tide, we went down to one of the beaches and looked for starfish and creatures in the tide pools.




Paisli's first visit to the ocean was at 9 days old. Not too many babies get to do that.


On Sunday afternoon, Hyrum's mom and her husband (Nana and Hapa) arrived and they'll be here until this weekend. Elisabeth will be joining us on Thursday.


Kiersa LOVES her Nana like Tilly adores her Grammie!

Poor Hyrum is running ragged at work since he's fallen behind after all the action (meetings in Portland, Paisli's birth, mommy and baby health problems and scares, doctor visits, family in town, etc). I've been away from work for a couple of weeks and will now be gone another couple of weeks still, so it's up to Hyrum to do EVERYTHING again. John's been helpful in watching the shop when Hyrum has to take off to job sites or take me to doctors, but he's still running like crazy and feeling like not much is actually getting accomplished. He's amazing in my eyes to take on so much at work and still give so much at home. I'm a lucky wife! He never complains about family stuff taking up too much time, though I know it is right now. Hopefully after this weekend things will get back to normal-ish and after a couple of weeks I can come back and help him so he's not so swamped. At least business isn't dead! We're grateful for that. We need more business actually, then things won't be so stressful.

In the meantime, we're soaking up family time with Utah relatives that we don't see near enough. It's great to have visitors, because it's rare that anyone aside from Nana and Hapa can make the trip. We love it, and welcome all family and friends to come see us, especially once the house is done.

Oh, house update...
The electrical is almost complete, thanks to John, the plumbing is roughed in, we bought a clawfoot tub for the master bath, the mechanical (heat & A/C) will go in shortly, then we're ready for insulation and sheetrock. After that, it's paint, flooring, cabinetry and move-in! Oh, we have to get siding on the exterior soon, then paint it. The deck and yard will have to wait.

It's so close, I can taste it!

I've set a date...for surgery

I took Paisli to the doctor today, and she gained a pound in a week! She'll be another chunk like Kiersa. Her stools are bright yellow again, but I'm still ordered off all dairy for another couple of weeks. It's not hard to go without it. It's just hard to remember to lay off it when I've never had to before.

So I thought it was lactose intolerance that the doctor said could be causing Paisli's bloody stools, but I was wrong. She said that lactose intolerance is where your stomach doesn't digest the milk sugar (lactose), so it makes gas and diarrhea in your intestines. What Paisli may have is an ALLERGY to the PROTEIN in milk. What that means is that when the proteins in dairy (that I consume) come through my milk, they get to Paisli's stomach and intestines, and an allergic reaction occurs that causes inflammation in the intestines, and thus bleeding. Babies usually outgrow it and can have milk by the time they're 1. I'm assuming this is probably why you're not supposed to give babies cow milk until they're 1.

If I reintroduce dairy in my diet and bleeding doesn't reoccur, then she's over it, or else it could have been from cracked nipples, but I don't believe that because there was WAY TOO MUCH blood for that be the case, and it never happened before with my other kids who made me bleed far worse.

In any case, Paisli is healthy and happy and chunking up nicely. She's a SUPER good baby...even better than Kiersa was, so I'm very grateful. I need all the help I can get in the behavior department with the kids all being so young, and luckily all of my kids have been really easy (well, Tilly was quite a challenge for a while and is still my most headstrong child).

Now, let's move to a more southern topic. I'm having muffler surgery on Friday to remove the baffles off my exhaust. Okay, so that's what Hyrum keeps saying. In other words, I'm going to harvest my cauliflower crop. Okay, okay. So it's a hemorrhoidectomy. I'll be going under general anesthesia for about an hour and a half and should wake up a changed woman...with 2 weeks of horrible pain and recovery. That's what I'm told. They say it's a pretty rough surgery and pretty tough recovery, but I'd like to do it now so I can be "normal" again. Plus, I've already hit my deductible with having the baby and all.

I got a chest X-ray, EKG, blood test and pee test, so now I'm all set for surgery on Friday. I wish I had a sister or friend living closer to help me recover. Maren will be going back to Utah to tie up loose ends just after I get the surgery done, so I'll be on my own. I may have to mooch off ladies in my ward by sending my kids over to their houses when Hyrum goes to work. I think the thing I'm most afraid of is taking the powerful laxative. The nurse warned me that it's the worst part. She said that "If you feel like you have gas, it's not! Run to the bathroom as fast as you can!" I've read people's accounts of their experiences with the laxative, and they say you pretty much need a seat belt on your toilet so you don't launch yourself. If that doesn't send a terrifying picture into your head, I don't know what will. Help!

I'm scared! I may as well get a colonoscopy while I'm at it since you have to cleanse your system for that procedure as well. Wish me luck! I'm going to need it.

Thanks, Paisli. You better be the best, most well-behaved child in history, considering all the trouble you've given me already. You gave me stretchmarks, caulirrhoids, surgery, and oh yeah, a couple of weird mole-like growths that look like eternal zits (one on my forehead, one on my cheek), that are only now looking as though they may fade away...hopefully. It just looks like I have a zit on my forehead in this picture when you click on it, but it's not a zit. It's my pregnancy curse.


On a less disgusting note...we're in Bandon still. I'm at our apartment for a little bit, hence this post, but I'm heading back there in a few minutes. My camera is over there, so I can't post any pictures yet. I'm assuming that I won't be able to post pictures for quite a while, or even post anything, because I don't think I'll be able to sit for a while, and may not feel like getting out of bed. This surgery better work, because I'm kind of scared. But until then, I'm having fun right now with Hyrum's family. Nana is great with the kids and it's fun for them to get to spend time with her and Hapa. We're looking forward to Elisabeth's arrival on Thursday, although I think I'll be trapped in the bathroom when she gets here. It'll be up to Hyrum and Maren to show her a good time in Bandon I'm afraid.

Paisli's Health Scare

I love this picture because she looks like a pirate, and it makes Hyatt laugh when he sees it.


On Tuesday, when Paisli was 5 days old, I changed her diaper and instead of the usual bright yellow baby poo you see, I was looking at a diaper full of black! I'd never seen my babies' poo go back to black once the meconium was gone, so I was a little surprised.

Luckily, I had a doctor's appointment for her scheduled later that day, so I told the pediatrician about it and she said meconium never comes back and that it sounded like it was blood. She tested the diaper we brought in and it came back positive for blood. Talk about scary! All that ran through my mind is that here 5 days after bonding with this beautiful baby, what if she was taken from me? I don't know how I could bear that pain. It would be hard to lose a baby at birth, like my mom did, but I think that losing one after having a lot of time to bond with it and hear it's coos and see it look at your face and smile (she smiled at me while looking in my eyes yesterday)...I don't know how I could bear that pain! So instead of dwelling on the worse-case scenario, I pushed it to the back of my mind and focused on what could be the cause of so much blood.

If blood is black by the time it comes out, it comes from the upper digestive tract, like the stomach or esophagus. The doctor said the two likely causes would be either my nipples are bleeding or Paisli is lactose intolerant.

Sure my nipples had taken a bit of a beating from nursing, and they bled a little, but I can't imagine that so much blood came from my sore nipples! 4 full diapers of blood? Was there any milk coming out? I mean, come on! Talea and Kiersa gave me way more damage and neither one of them ever had a black diaper after the meconium was gone. When I pumped, I didn't notice blood.

If Paisli is lactose intolerant (like Hyrum, Hyatt and Kiersa), just me drinking milk or ingesting dairy could be upsetting her system enough to make the blood in her stools.

For your viewing pleasure, and in case I need to show this to a doctor someday, and in the interest of completely grossing out my brother-in-law, Edward, here are a couple of her diapers. She had 4 diapers that day and the next that were SOLID black, (this is the 4th one)

then they tapered off slowly to half yellow, half black, (5th diaper)

then finally back to solid yellow today, with no flecks of black.

Okay, about the poo pictures and the hemi confession...You have to understand, I'm married to Hyrum, who NEVER gets embarrassed. He tells anyone and everyone whatever he feels like sharing, without regard to their possible reaction. He told one of his customers the other day when he was at their house that he had to go because he was late for getting me to the doctor to have my massive hemorrhoid checked out. I've been married to him long enough, that I too, no longer possess any shame. I shamelessly confess my hind-end ailments and post pictures of baby poo. Sorry to offend, if I do. I don't see the point in hiding things if I could possibly help someone else to be aware of these things.

Anyway...the doctor sent Paisli's info up to Portland. They thought the likely cause was lactose intolerance, so I'm ordered off of all dairy for two weeks, and then I can reintroduce it and see what happens.

I went off most dairy when the doctor thought it could be a cause back on Tuesday, but now after her call last night, I'm off it strictly for 2 weeks. Her diaper this morning was the first one with no trace of black in it. Things are looking up!

Now, I realize the last couple of posts I've done, have been a bit "scary" and a bit vile or disgusting, so I'll move on to a happier subject.

Paisli had her first bath at home the other day.




Her hair is so fluffy when it's clean. It also turns much lighter. Since it's so long, I play with it constantly, and that makes it get a bit greasy, so it's funny to see it all fluffy and sticking up after a bath.



Her umbilical cord fell of this morning...8 days old. It's much nicer when that shriveled back nastiness is gone.

I'm so glad you can't have babies 6 months apart! Here are Paisli (8 days), then Jaiden (6 months), then Kiersa (12 months).




I love these pictures of Kiersa and Paisli!




Hyrum's family is coming into town this weekend, for the week, so I'll take a blogging break until I get back to a computer again. We'll be staying at a beach house in Bandon (Hyrum traded countertops for rental time).

Postpartum update

Usually when I try to get pictures of Hyrum, I get something like this:

Rarely a serious face.

But on certain occasions, he is caught in sweet moments like this.


And this.


And often like this.


And look who's catching on.







THE LABOR:


Things usually go smooth for me when I have a baby. No c-sections. No hours of pushing.

I always get an epidural, so that helps a lot.

I honestly can't imagine why anyone would purposely choose to endure the pain of natural childbirth, unless their labor was so quick they had no option but to go natural. Anyone who has chosen the drug-free route and survived is a hero to me.
I'm not that brave.
I never will be.
I don't want to be.
Epidurals are AMAZING, though getting it put in this time was by far my worst experience. It gave me several shocks of pain in my back, like electrical shocks, that left tears streaming down my face. I tried to be brave, but in order for that to happen I needed to be holding Hyrum, but I couldn't because the pain guy was saying "It's extremely important that you don't move at all!", and it would require moving to have Hyrum come hold me. Next time, if there is a next time, I'll have him start out holding me instead of a nurse standing in front of me describing every move the pain guy was making, which only makes things worse for me. I don't like knowing that a needle is about to be inserted and that the catheter is giving the pain guy problems so he's going to try again, etc. I just want to be in Hyrum's arms where all my sadness and pain so easily melts away. Next time...

I love epidurals because I don't feel the pain until it's time to push, and then it's just serious pressure, not transition pain. I can take naps. I can smile and joke. I don't get irritated at people.

Hyrum loves for me to get epidurals because HE can nap, and doesn't have to watch me go through hours of pain. He doesn't get clawed, scratched, slapped, or squeezed. Well, actually, I did give him a titty-twister when I was pushing Talea out, but that was because he was standing there holding my leg and when I opened my eyes, I saw his chest and figured he could use a little pain right about then since I was in such stress pushing a head out. Maybe that's why he opts to be out of arms reach and delivery the baby instead of hold my leg.



THE DELIVERY:


For Paisli's birth, my doctor delivered the head himself since I didn't want to push. You've heard of a hemorrhoid, right? Lots of girls get them from pushing, or just from being pregnant with all the excess pressure down south.

If you've never had a hemorrhoid (internal or external), just keep your mouth shut and thank the butt devils who dish them out for passing you by. I don't want to hear about your pain-free hind end. It's not fair. You can NEVER imagine the pain and suffering a REAL hemi causes, and thus I would compare you to a guy trying to imagine the pain of childbirth. If you haven't experienced it, you can't imagine it. It's horrific!!! Period.

I get a hemi each time I push the babies out, so with this baby, I asked my doctor if I could just NOT push and let the contractions push the baby out so I wouldn't tear and would avoid a hemi. He said that was fine, especially since it's my 4th and should be easier to deliver. So that's what I did.

I was in a panic, crying and all, like I always do at the end. Darn Hyrum didn't want to take me up on my plea for him to take over and push the baby out since I had labored it this far, and he was actually excited because this is when he gets to take over and deliver the baby. Usually, the doctor lets Hyrum do everything, but since I was delivering my biggest baby yet, and I was a bit panicked, the doctor delivered the head himself to ensure that he could assist me with stretching and not pushing. I forgot to ask for a mirror to see what was happening, so before I knew it, he told me that if I gave him a push, the face would be out. I didn't even know the head was mostly out! I thought he was just stretching me! So I gave a small push (I refuse to do the "put your chin to your chest and push as hard as you can for 10 seconds" crap), and Voila! The head was out! Hyrum took over then, and he and the doctor worked on getting the shoulders out. That was tougher this time, so I had to give 2 more small pushes while the nurses pulled my legs out of the stirrups and back toward me, then I was done! Paisli was relatively easy to get out, being my 4th baby, but I have to say, this recovery is almost at tough as Talea's.

I have to brag about my amazing husband for a second. Paisli is the first of my babies that I've ever changed a meconium diaper on, and I only did it because I felt bad for Hyrum and wanted to let him sleep since he'd wrangled the kids and done everything after the birth to let me rest. When he woke up and found out I was doing it, he almost seemed sad that I didn't wake him up so I could rest more. Almost...

Hyrum always tackles the diapers for me! Each nurse would come in and be shocked to see Hyrum voluntarily jump in to diaper the baby, swaddle her (he's amazing at that, by the way), bathe her, dress her, check on my "injuries", doctor me, etc. He's not scared of anything to do with childbirth and babies and he is completely comfortable taking on any challenges either of those pose. He's been AMAZING each time I've had a baby, and I know most husbands aren't that helpful because the nurses were always shocked at how supportive and involved he was.



THE AFTERMATH:


Talea's pregnancy was the start of my varicose veins on the back of my knee, and her birth left me with hemorrhoids, tearing, and stitches, and she was only 5lbs 8 oz! It took 6 weeks recovery to feel semi-normal again. Poor Hyrum had to doctor me several times a day every day until I healed, and he never flinched or complained, though he did crack a lot of jokes about it all. He's one good hubby!

I sprained my ankle from falling while pregnant with Hyatt, and it bothers me still 3 years later. His birth left me with hemorrhoids and swelling, but a week later, I was feeling back to normal. Hyrum only had to doctor me for a couple of days.

Kiersa gave me a pyogenic granuloma that left me with a permanent scar on the side of my nose. Her birth left me with a hemorrhoid, but I was completely back to normal down south by the time I left the hospital 2 days later. I was amazed! I thought it must get easier with each baby!

This time around, after Paisli, I can't sit. Even with all the precautions I took, it's now 5 days after the birth, and I'm in worse condition than 5 seconds after the birth. It's another stinkin' hemi, and it didn't even rear it's ugly head until hours after the birth was over!! I had hardly any damage from the delivery. Everything happened after the fact.

Okay, this is going to get graphic, so I know of several of you readers out there that I'll keep anonymous that should just skip a few paragraphs. I don't want you saying "gross, how could you make this public" when I've forewarned you. I found this so amusing that I want to record it so Paisli knows just how much I sacrificed in order to bring her into the world.

During my hospital stay, when I'd tell the nurses about my pain, they'd of course want to see what I was complaining about, and none of them was prepared for what I had to offer. Every single one that took a look gave me similar reactions, ranging from "Oh, you poor girl!" to "Wow!" to "Oh my goodness!" to "That's not a hemorrhoid, that's a cauliflower!" to "You have your own testicles to compete with your husband now!" If that doesn't give you a horrific mental picture, I don't know what will.

I went to my doctor on Monday because no matter what I did, nothing helped. I'm using proctofoam, lidocaine, narcotics (norco or something like that), stool softeners, and ibuprofen (all prescribed), yet I haven't found relief. My doctor hadn't seen my rear since the birth, and I'm telling you, after Paisli's birth, my hind end looked the best it had of any of my kids. It wasn't until hours after the birth that things "blew up". He took one look and his exact words were "Oh yeah, those are bad!" He referred me to a surgeon since he'd done everything he could for me. I saw the surgeon today, and when he saw me (keep in mind this man has seen a lot of hemorrhoids in his life), his exact word was "Wow!" He thought it would be funny for me to post a picture of them on the internet as an example of a really bad case. Nice. Just what I want...my massive hemi floating around on cyberspace.

None of this is comforting to me. I am nothing but uncomfortable right now! So I have a follow-up appointment in a week with the surgeon, then I'm getting my 12 cylinder hemi removed so I will never have to deal with these stupid suckers again. Once they're gone, they don't grow back. I have to wait for some reduction in swelling to have the surgery in order to avoid getting too much scar tissue. I can't wait to sit again! I can't wait to have a normal posterior again! You will never know how much you take your bum for granted until you can't use it properly. It's awful!

So now that you're all wanting to projectile vomit from reading this graphic account of my pain, you can maybe understand why I say this recovery is really bad. Any recovery that requires surgical intervention isn't a good one.