Hsing is never happy again.

realised it is so difficult to smile after the incident that happened during the 1st week of March.

who to believe?

who's right and who's wrong.

why do i have to determine this? why do i have to pretend that i'm not upset. why do i have to feel as if its my fault when i had already did my very best. why do you need me to forgive you when you said you are not in the wrong. why do i have to believe you did those because you dote me when i feel the opposite.

im tired and lost.

Blogged at 1:32 PM

work is crazy these days. especially when im tied down with sudden deadlines.. less than a week of turnover. tell me how to complete?

this time round, i could say out loud that its the sponsor's fault! their email is so unclear and they din even wanna reply my email when i check with them. purposely want me to miss the deadline. lesson learnt.

anyways, i should be glad that this is the last time im dealing with the sponsor after the last submission next fri. i'll be passing on their projects to Joanne.

Joanne is my buddy, assistant who came in to share my load. though the sharing part is not really true for the moment. cos she havent take on, and im loaded with MORE work! >.<

i did not have good first impression of Joanne. but i tell myself to look at her strong point. till now, it doesn't really do the trick.

frankly speaking, im glad that she shared her previous job experience with me and we went for tax lesson together.

however, it just seem to be that she's insensitive.. her kan-jiongness is too overwhelming.. its killing me! was upset about it since yesterday. =(

bro joined my dept as a temp to help shawn. some commented we look alike. am glad that shawn and my bro can work well together.. both gave me good feedbacks (:

now shawn is the "director" of assets citing and my bro, the "assistant director". hahas. position much higher than me this "funds associate" !! =p also better than celia, the "office lady". hahas!

Blogged at 11:55 PM

Happy Chinese New Year and Happy Valentine's Day to everyone!

Today is just like any ordinary Lunar New Year with lots of relatives flocking to my place. Of course the lime light was all snatched by the 3 babies of my cousins.

The twin brother and sister, and another baby girl of my god-brother. I tried to carry the baby boy. he is nicely cuddled in my arms.. not that i do a good job, but he is all happy in his lala land.

one thing i realise, the baby girl of my god-brother (crystal), has red-pimpled skin. the other two looks perfectly beautiful. the victim daddy said hao tong always kiss her cheeks with his oily lips. hahas!

im hao tong's biao gu. waaa. sounds super old lo! grr.

hao tong is super active, thus i find his name easy to rmb.. hao tong and hao dong. lol. and he loves food. pri 2 and he is 40+ kg!! not easy to keep him tame but i managed to! =D pei him play his pokemon game and he guai guai sits beside me, without disturbing others.


sorry lydia for complaining about HER just now. just dislike the thought and sight of her. if she could disappear into thin air, we do not have to be paranoid and look out for her scheming acts!

lastly, i have to say i miss lemon. was thinking why he didnt want to come my place for house visiting before he flies abroad. i don have such great influence bah..

Blogged at 11:25 PM

Good news continuing from my previous post. Ah ma decided to stay for good! =D

I'm moving to a new workstation.. so that I can sit with my new colleague, Joanne. Just 2 stations away from my previous one. still prefer the old feng shui lo. can crap with anyone around me and feel protected. though abit dark.

Annie and Ah Ma were.. huh.. why need to change your seat. lol. Celia said Yar Sze dont want us to talk. but not true la.. my new girl has no place to sit. its either Linda or me has to change lo.

Elaine was telling me, new year got new workstation. move "house" must have house warming. LOL! i'll bring party poppers yea. sumptuous Ling Zhi treat on Yar Sze. hahas. dreaming..


i was thinking why Lay Suan told me to handle the shifting of computers. is it cos Heng helping with it? hope they don say he's my bf right in front of him lo. oh well.

in my colleagues' eyes, i got 2 bf. one is WeiRong. the other, Heng. when they mention my bf, i can only ask which one you talking about? =X yea.. i only got 2 la.. Celia got the whole level 4 guys plus Chua!

oh.. i havent mention Adam. new staff in BO. Celia was so crazy about him and Linda has to pull him over and intro to our team. he looked paiseh. shook hands with all of us, thinking i have no work relations with them. lol. then he walked off immediately, told Linda not to send him back. hahas!

upon Celia's request, Dennis took a note with questions to Adam. he answered them all. 1st one, he has a gf/wife. Celia not affected by it de lo. hahas.

no doubt, it is indeed good to have a bf. of course i mean a caring and considerate one. he who listens to you, share your happiness and sadness, give you solutions and suggestions when you are in dilemma. this is an obligation (vice-versa).

often i see celia so stress that her bf haven't propose to her. her friends all getting married. and you know what questions from relatives during chinese new year, as time passes by.

ok. im just 20. though the stress for bf already arrived.

trying to forget what Lay Suan and Ren Wei told me about him. how we come together is fate.. but im forced by another party to believe we wont work out de. now, it all depends on him cos he's still on my mind

Blogged at 1:15 AM

finally found a chance to come online to chant and rant!.. i need this badly =(

one of my colleagues, we always call her "ah-ma".. she's one year older than mum and thinking is simple yet funny..

we are going to say sayonara to her in a month's time!

she tendered her resignation on Friday. i thought she 一时生气, was filled with 委屈 thus the words that comes along. i was so affected till i dreamt of additional work to me due to her cessation.

im getting paranoid!! but hey, dreams alway reflect the opposite situation in reality right? hahas. thats the only way i could convince myself not to think about it till announced.

for now, im still thinking if i should talk her to stay. like what my colleagues say,

留她　对不起阿嬷
不留她　对不起公司

sighs. i shall respect her decision.

then i received mms from layhong just now. she kena some swollen red eye disease and will be absent for a few days. its like she's on mc yet her mind is still on work and telling doc she can work. difficult position to be in.

oh well. hope the year of tiger will be a better one for all of us!!

Blogged at 12:06 AM

Feel so shagged!! 1st day of the week just seems like its the last=X

Intent to buy Celia's birthday present last weekend but i din have the chance to do shopping till Thu!! that was one day before her bd. Grr.

Thanks bee for accompanying me to search for PIGS in such a short notice. We bought a pair of piglets, exactly the same as the one i saw at SengKang!! It's lovely!



Look at the birthday card too.. i know its empty.. haven't got LayHong to write.. her handwriting and drawings are the best! =)


Rushed to buy bd cake at Prima Deli downstairs but receipt not available for the moment. I was busy rushing work for this staff who is flying off in the afternoon.. and she just called me late in the morn. >.<

Soon its time for AP staff to leave.. they were bidding goodbye and 5 of them end up crying and hugging us.. Everyone has their eyes red.. i tried not to cry.. don't want to look into their eyes. its so difficult to control!! Emo emo

Celia was telling me..
- without them, we don't know where to go for lunch.. cos its always Kam and Jesper who initiate the place to eat..
- without them, no more laughters and sharing of stuff..
- without them, noone to consult for work, we have to cope ourselves..

best thing is, Celia has noone to help her talk to Chua! the super shy guy.. hahas

for me, i'm beginning to

miss disturbing Connie when i m bored at work,
miss suaning Jesper and laugh at his comments,
miss listening to Kam share about her daughter Arina,
miss taking Siew Leng's cab home when i work late into the nights..know more about the out-of-work her,
miss looking out for Jew Hiang when i m waiting for bus to work and her knowledge on chinese medical herbs.

i shall stop this.. change topic!

have lots of work piling up.. cleared some but still pending cos additional things required for submission last min. so many funds waiting for me to do..

especially when Mei Fang sent me whole string of codes and apologise for the sudden and tight deadline. i understand her difficulty.. ling told me to wait for new gal to come in and let her do..but MF cannot wait that long. we are always caught under the same situation. nevertheless, im glad to find someone whom i can click and understand so well, giving support and accomodating each other. her encouragement, her words just keep me going! (:

Blogged at 11:33 AM

ok. i'm finally back to blog! bee, not cos you kept nag me hor.. but i do have lots to say and facebook is not a good place.. one of my colleagues added some big shot and we have to auto shoo abit. =X

christmas party at kkh!! ok, i was volunteered by SM to be one of the committees. was on long study leave on the 1st meeting and rather ill on the 2nd, but still drag my feet there. it was a sudden plan and everything rushed through. in short, it was a FUN one!! the party has Finance, Business Office and Admissions involved.

my committee members were envied of me cos i have crazy colleagues who bring the party so wild and high! hahas. its just a pity that committees could not participate. afterall, its the last christmas party we are having with our AP, AR, PR and some BO colleagues. next year shall be silent, lonely night...

ok.. my mind is blank. i shall talk about the current happening in my office..

one word, DEAD. the atmosphere is sooo different.. we were all cheery, with smiles all day. now, everyone is busy rushing to complete their work before 11 Jan, the handover date. AP staff OT-ing like there's no tomorrow, except Jesper i think. hahas.

My team busy clearing our own work so we will be ready to take on our new workload smoothly. no more smiles, no more laughters.. just busy and tired faces.. this really upsets me. i went over to Connie and told her, "wo hao jiu mei you geng ni shuo hua le". she replied, "nevermind, you have to get used to it in a week's time" =(

seriously, i told almost everyone that i dont see why this is implemented. so far, i have yet to see any benefit.. i only see separation, sad faces, lots of work and some conflicts. i dont know where this route is leading us to. maybe i will only realise when things get settled.. hmm

in 8 months plus time, Lay Hong and Dennis will leave too!! then coming up next is the Payroll team. ah well..

hmm. who will i miss more from the AP team? Jesper and Connie!

Jes is always slow and sometimes his words will make you wanna beat him! 18 months means 3 year to him wor! hahas. he is always telling us things.. giving us chance to shoot him all the time. and the diao face he gave when i mistakenly called him, ESTHER! his gf name.. that wasnt on purpose, just super tired..

Connie, she's a trendy auntie. Although she's in her fifties, you won't realise that. She's always straightforward in her words, nothing hidden. like means like, dont like means dont like. no acting. me and celia calling her mother-in-law. lol. she directly reject celia and say wanna give me form to fill in for the daughter-in-law position. hahas. her son do look abit like Zhang Yao Dong, the mediacorp actor.

AM told me last night that my "buddy" will come in next month. she has to serve the one month notice at her current job. i will have to juggle 2 ppl's work for a month! and i do have lessons on some weekends too!! its not easy to be a senior lo.. even if she comes in, i have to guide her, while rushing all the work. i can't afford to OT as hard as i did for this month! sighs. take things one step at a time bah..

oh! my cousin's wife gave birth to a pair of twins on 30 Dec 2009!! kor-kor and mei-mei, long feng tai! lol. and guess what, i think i cant attend the full-month party. im having lesson that day! grr~ i will be physically at lesson and mind at the party with the babies! hahas.

Blogged at 2:48 PM