We are, well have been home...

We are doing well, as well as can be expected. I think I left off as we headed to Hong Kong. Leaving China was a mix of emotions, there is so much loss that comes with adoption. Jim and I both felt this as we left walked through customs to board the train to Hong Kong. The Chinese officers must have thought I was a basket case, not to mention there was some sappy song that most likely the Chinese version of "my heart will go on" piped in.

 

Our awesome guide, John, he went above and beyond to make sure we had a great experience in China. Although we had some issues with our agency, the in country experience was flawless.

 

Evelyn started to become more comfortable exploring while in transit. This made cab rides and the 2 hour train ride an experience.

 

Sleeping in Hong Kong. Sleep is happening for all members of the house, which is wonderful. However, as we expected Evelyn does most of her grieving at night. She is also terrified of her room and upstairs, but only in the evening. We take turns sleeping with her on her floor. It is a process to get her to sleep, walk her then wait until she is in a deep sleep..if you try to soon she wakes up you must begin the process again.This girl can scream and for a long period of time. Parker's grief was pretty similar, it is a positive sign she is showing grief. We will move to the crib wen she has a better understanding of the transition. She needs to understand that this is a safe place and that we can be trusted.

 

Parker is hurting and acting out. He has been pushing, hitting, being extra loud to wake Evelyn, and demanding attention. He is not happy with me and he has made that clear. Jim has been home an extra week, which has helped in terms of attention. We have been trying to get sunlight to combat jet lag and have been visiting quiet parks. Evelyn stays in the carrier, she is not happy about being put down in public. She will go to Jim and let him care for her. I even snuck out to the YMCA last night...not a good idea when you sleep on the floor after a hard workout.

 

She loves pulling tea out of the pantry and stacking the tins.

 

Do not be fooled, she does not like the highchair or booster seat. She fought the booster seat but eventually calmed down. She is going to be a foodie, like her brother. She has eaten all of our regular meals and refuses baby food. She is obsessed with PB2, but who isn't?

 

Evelyn has picked up two baby signs, just in the past week. She uses "more" at meal times.

 

She sits on our laps for the majority of meals, one step at a time for the booster. Keep in mind, you cannot spoil a newly adopted child. When the time is right she will adjust to the normal aspects of toddler life.

 

I will post the airport pictures in a separate entry, there are quite a few.

 

 

 

 

The Last Few Days

Our last couple days have been free days and they have involved sightseeing to Six Banyan Temple, the Chen Family House, a night cruise on the Pearl River, and the Canton Tower. Although we are enjoying our time in China, Evelyn's grieving is exhausting. In order to sleep she needs to be in constant motion so we have ben taking turns pacing with her. She does not feel comfortable walking on her own or sitting in a high chair' and since she is still not super thrilled with dad, that means I end up carrying her the majority of the day.

She feels most comfortable in our hotel room and will leave the safety of my lap to explore, but only in 5 to 10 minute increments. She's allowing Jim to play with her and feed her while being held by me and has even allowed him to pace her to sleep.

We have our US Consulate appointment tomorrow to obtain Evelyn's visa and we also have a very important shopping trip to find Parker some trains. Tuesday afternoon we will take the train to Hong Kong and Wednesday morning we have our first flight on the journey home.

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Yangxi Orphanage

Yesterday we spent 7 hours in a van, the trip was to Yangxi County to visit where our daughter has spent the first 18 months of her life. I have debated how much to share, as this is her story and not ours to disclose.

We ate in a local Cantonese restaurant, the octopus was delicious but she was overwhelmed from the long car ride. She was refusing to eat and drink.

We got to the SWI and met with the administration. I had photos and a letter to give them from other adoptive families and I could see them pointing and discussing as if they remembered the children in the photographs. They invited us up stairs to see her room and crib.  It housed about 30 babies in this room ranging from 10 to 18 months with two nannies. There were a few older children with visible special needs also in the room. They asked us not to take any pictures in this room except for her crib, which there was no mattress but just wood. The moment I stepped into the room Evelyn began sobbing and clung to me. I'm not trying to imply that she is attached to me, that is a long ongoing process. However this was confusing and she has a had a long emotional four days. One of the nannies brought over a baby she was close with and Evelyn swatted her away. The nanny called her over to a plastic horse and Evelyn robotically walked over and rocked on the horse whaling.

As soon as we left the baby room her tears stopped and we went back down stairs to take pictures and they brought her a bottle. She fed it to herself as if on auto pilot and the staff was concerned about her appetite and brought her some Chinese Medicine Tea. They did this because they thought her face looked red. We were only permitted to see two rooms in the large structure. We assume there is a room with more younger children. I do appreciate that they allowed us to photograph two babies for their waiting families.

The visit and her reaction were both emotional for Jim and I. It was almost impossible to envision her in that small, bare room that was void of any stimulation. Based on our guides observations, he felt that Evelyn probably received special attention from the nannies. The orphanage is in a poor rural area and has limited resources.

This visit was important but we will never have all of the answers for our daughter.

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A non-fluff Recap of the day

Today was busy with a physical for Evelyn, a trip to the Passport office, some really good Cantonese food, and Evelyn's first excessive shoe shopping trip. Gotta love the prices here.

Tomorrow brings what will probably be the one of the most emotional days of our trip. The 3.5 hour drive to visit the orphanage where our daughter has lived all of her life and to visit her finding spot. It will be a long, tough day.

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Officially Official

Today consisted of another trip to the civil affairs office this time to complete the domestic side of the adoption. We answered a few questions for the officials, signed countless documents and we were out. 
Evelyn, to be expected, woke up deciding that Jim was not to be trusted and that she would prefer I not put her down. She is still eating okay and even ran around the hotel room playing. However, she has these big, sad searching eyes. Twice she brought me the shoes she was wearing when we met her, they are too big and very dirty but they are a comfort.
We went to dinner with another family from our agency, but our shopping was cut short when another typhoon rolled in...our guide said one was coming....not sure if this qualifies.
We have a medical exam tomorrow, Ev seems fine but I wonder if she has tounge thrush, it looks like there are white patches. I am interested to see what she weighs, she fits perfect in the 6 to 12 month clothes we brought.
Here are a few pictures from today :
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Family Day

Today we clock watched until our guide picked us up until 1:45 and we took a short ride over to the civil affairs office. I finally started to shake as we rode in the elevator. Our guide has us and another family sit on a row of couches as our children had not yet arrived. Our girl had a 3 plus hour drive, and had not been in a car since infancy. We heard babies screaming and saw one little guy bolt from his new family. It was chaos...finally we were told to go to the front of the room...then they walked her out. I picked her up and we walked back to the couches. A staff member from her SWI came over and answered questions. Most significant was the theme that she is stubborn. Also her name on her referral is Manderin, however her province is Cantonese...so her name is completely different.

She sat and are puffs and mums, you could tell she was hungry and in total shock. She is absolutely stunning , the pictures do not even capture her beauty. I am surprised at how well she can do certain things, despite being in an orphanage. She can pick up puffs, build stacking cups, and walk.

We stopped at the grocery store for formula but she has not drank much of her bottle. She ate quite a few things in the executive dining room, which I did not expect. We have had a few tears...I assume they will start this evening.

She is taking in her surroundings and is very inquisitive. She keeps making tiny little sighs like "what am I doing here"

We have an early morning tomorrow that will be filled with more official paperwork. Things are going as well as can be expected, in fact I dare say better. More tomorrow.

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Beijing Day Two

So we have had some problems, with the tablet and the VPN service that we have been using and trying to upload photos, and we have tried to type this post like four times so this will be short. So here is a link to some of our photos from yesterday when we went to the Forbidden City, Taniman Square, and the Temple of Heaven. Also a picture of our guide and driver for the two days we were in Beijing, they were great.

We flew into Guangzhou today from Beijing (flight delayed for an hour). We will be beginning our next step in our life's tomorrow at 2:30 when we get Evelyn. We will post photos as soon as we can.

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