I had a couple of things going on past few days.
I thought I'll record it down :)
For keepssakes.
I was due out on friday to meet MayAnn and ppl (she's the one always organising)
then I fell dreadfully ill the minute I was supposed to step out.
I was all dressed and ready to go.
Then some headache hit me and I threw up.
Weird I know.
I slept 13 hours to 7 the next day.
Saturday was good.
I had a jolly good time with Jas, which makes it surprising I don't call her out as often nowadays.
She's a hard person to get hold of. grin.
and also a good time with my family, who are around often enough.
:)
Sunday was good.
I played some awesome music with Wenda and James and Clem.
I've known it for a while but Wenda's this nutty drummer who is so good u can youtube him "wenda drums" and see what he plays.
He posted it up himself, but still he's good.
And James who's to me nutty everything, bass, guitar.
They're all basically really good and it is usually very nice to play with very good humble musicians.
Thank God,
now I'm off to SISPEC.
Thank God for Christmas.
I'm out soon
I wander from room to room.
aimless
headache that never goes away,
giddiness when I think,
vomiting when I feel like it,
nausea here and there.
I stare at the TV and hate it, yet I continue riveted.
I stare at the laptops and hate it, yet I have nothing else to do.
I want to get out, and when I'm out, its respite is painfully momentary.
I keep talking to myself, wondering which voice is God's,
I go to this room to pray, but I get giddy and I want to get out,
its my own voice, or is it,
my other room is bad, and I berate myself for it.
My sickness is my doing,
but how can it be so?
I pop panadols but I never had to rely on them before,
confused, am I sick or not?
I am sometimes, I am not sometimes.
I go out, I have fun, but they all seem stupidly temporal,
my friends seem distant,
even the best ones cannot understand,
I cannot live in peace with a pastor and leader at home
I flare up,
My thoughts turn vulgar
I do not know why.
Prayer seems like a quickfire temporary solution,
like a shot of morphine for a patient,
where is God?
I have no peace,
I cannot love,
I am not exaggerating.
Is this a test?
Somebody Pray.
God must be in control.