hah. i might say.

I speak with an assurance of someone big.
and of perfect clarity of mind.

I do admit, I am of some sort that does this and that.

I apologise for my words.

Even this is contentious

But don't get me started and
let me give my customary laugh

ha-ha

your eyes interweaver, twirling.

I long to tell you this.
You are dumb and stupid, my FRIEND.

But why does that reason when I get relaxed sound so damning.

Can you NOT see the reasons and my behaviours.
God, people are dumb.

And they don't learn, they say all people are different.
Vincent from Kelly is my biggest polytechnic mistake.

My lovely supervisor, one that I envisioned specifically chosen, was a typical normal man.
Nothing wrong there.

Yes, typical, his typical predictable overbearing behaviour got to be such a bore I ignored him for the time there.
how utterly predictable.. Im not looking for a challenge though.
Its just so cringe inducing, when people are OBLIVIOUS to things that surround them and focus on things that cannot be worthwhile for very long.
Its just that I ignore it and go on with life, why do I ignore it.
I know, I know what is to be done.
How silly.

But who am I to judge? I am but a lowly creature, who looks and acts perfectly to everyone.
Simply the best metaphorically speaking, I like to laugh.
but why be happy when its all meaningless in the end?

Isnt peace found in God?
What need does religion satisfy?

WHY dont we all do something else?

Something healthy and morally right (you know what this means)

If we all are different, why do I see people doing this and that and it becomes norm.
That isnt right.

Why conform?
I'm bored of conforming to stuff that blurs the lines of morals and none.

I want to slap everybody who conforms to my aboveforementioned problem.

Overflowing love anyone?

the drinking culture bores me

Its fun.

See, the fundamental thing people seek or cite is largely social.
how drudging.

Why can't we all enjoy flowers or fish or running water.

I see the smoky air of the photo, the oh-so-lovely description, the coarse language.
and for what.

Unfortunately people of this world tag along and dance to this sing-ly hurray.
Picturesque perfect proper people fitting and languishing along.

When all I want to do is something else.

Why

Why why why

Why has the mother tell you don't drink beer system decayed and perished

and then isn't it perfect, where the person who speaks out and complains is the one who gets labelled and tagged and all the other nonsense.

Fear, I am racked with fear.


There should be nicer and simpler people in this world

knowing people of the slight
each finding and searching anew
looking for this and that
to carve a niche or otherwise

read my blog and
gander and meander
lights that intrinsity
which most cannot identify

most dismiss it'
some ridicule it
yet its there and present
raw thoughts from me a gift

to satisfy that hidden self
animalistic in that sense
yet be of sole human self
everybody wants this

greatness and difference
intelligence on display
most want it, some already got it
in their eyes

leads to even more
that intertwines with this and that
oreatorically metaphically speaking
leads to naught and death

Yet some still ponder
when left with such a phrase
little by little they grasp
yet the reader is one

hungry for more
they crave and desire
easy to cover up to others
yet that self remains suppressed

again
and right now

;)

there it is again

this is the hardest study and exam week I ever been through.

Still, its over.

:)

my story with my grandfather was different.
I was closest to him among my brothers.

Its a story for another day though.

always wanted to speak with him like the Hengs.

19th August 2008. the day that will be in my heart forever. the day the world loses just another inhabitant, whereas i lost a pillar of strength, a great cook, a storyteller,a great friend, a motivator, a chinese physician and i've lost my grandfather. ever since young, he would be someone that will be there whenever i need some one to talk to,someone to play with and someone to give a hug to.he was my pillar of strength.an authoritative figure up there that would never fall.. he would never fail to put on a smile on his face whenever i see him. and will always put people first before himself..even in his last moments on the hospital bed, using all the strength he had left, he showed me a thumb's up sign with a gentle, frail smile with tubes attached to his hands and even ask if i had my dinner even though he himself has problems breathing, let alone talking.

"i'm sorry, we have been conducting resuscitation for the past 20 mins and the outcome wasn't very good. looks like we are losing the battle and we're losing him. i'm very sorry." i thought i would only hear this in the movies. but there it was. right in front of my eyes.right from the mouth of the doctor. we all say a little prayer upon him and there he went.. but he's with the lord somewhere up there now. looking upon us for the rest of our lives..

i should be happy for him. being able to be with the Lord. but something is still tugging my heart. and i know it will forever be with me. at about nine at night, he asked me for the time and i told him. he struggled another sentence but i didn't catch him. a nurse came ask me to wait outside as she needed to do something. i just told my grandpa to wait till later as we allowed the nurse to do her stuff. but he couldn't wait and i didnt catch his last sentence to me.

i dont like my top post to be one contentious.

But Germaine said when he went to fetch the PKC people,
when I commented on the white shirts we were wearing and the thing we put on our sleeves.

'i dont mind for ahgong'

how silly of me

I don't usually write sappy posts,
but this is different.

I think I was in disbelief in the hospital, when it became offical, or at the wake.
It was only at the cremation.

and now.
Muttering to myself n making songs makes it feel hard.
It is hard.
I was worried about the state of my much younger cousins more than anything else and now when they're not here, I realise I feel something too.

one so imposing, and mighty, with wisdom and surely, he couldn't fit in that small coffin.
But he did, and we picked his bones and crushed them into ashes and placed in in an urn.

now he lies, gone.
and I just begin to see that I cannot see him again, in Chinese New Year, or at his shop, or in church, where he was perpetually there.

He's gone.

this shows I'm still in disbelief.
Does it take this long?

oh look I found another nice one

I want to write something nice.

well, not yet.

now now

he is going to die isn't he?

I don't know what to think, or feel.

What an ominous message, to see him for the last time.

confirm flight liao

0900 hrs Sep 9
MI 566 Terminal 2
Singapore - Cebu

Thats depart.


1855 hrs Nov 22
MI 566 Terminal 2
Cebu - Singapore via DAVAO.

Thats arrive

wee

today i went museum.

it was tiring
then fun

Thats right, its usually the other way .

I like today.

dum dum dum

Philippines.

I really dont know whats going on.

I love the way Im thinking right now!

On sunday, went church late.

Then wanted to say Hi as form of greeting, who was walking by, twice.

I tried to catch her eye, she didn't. Twice.

Well well

Then I read her blog and hear her sharings,
how we should all be in love and harmony.
In unity and all that.

Bah.

I prefer school

too bad Persis doesn't
(thats her nick)
;)

Im tentatively going to the Philippines.

Accomadation is still being discussed but I'm sure I would be staying at J.As.

Anyway,
thanks to WJ :)
For attending my event and even telling her friends about it
wee.

Shirley, Selyn found my blog.

Now I dont know if its good or bad.

;)

Now, I write and say and react in some ways to astound me sometimes.
I tend to be content with the confirmity of everybody with little distinction from the next.
So Its a bit worrying when I say I tend to dumb my mind to continue in this secular world.

It also sounds odd.
My choice of langauge not quite od.d.

today was fun.

We bought lucky draw items,
took cabs and wrapped presents.
And cut stuff, and danced and did a lot of other stuff.

Ended with a complicated fare of something that was flamed, and sotong, and rice and fries.
Yes, complicated.

It was fun.
Even that im very tired right now and theres a Manutd vs Juve match later.

I want to WATCH IT.

we all paint pretty pictures in people' minds.
Pity people paint pictures that deserved to be pine-appled, or pole-axed.

Well, well.

Well, First, I am in no way peeved/angry/ irritated at Imran, Faiz, Vivian, Joyce, Shirely, Persis and/or Sharmini.

I just feel undermined at the bloody concept of the main committee.
They receive the emails, attend the meetings and make the decisions.

So now, I have had little chance to express my worth, my thanks, my extent of my capability and my worth (again).

It is irritating that I can't do anything about it because its all so understandable.
UNDERSTANDABLE.


It is also worrying that because I aren't in the main committee that I occasionally tend to slacken off.
That I blame 55% myself, and 45% the concept of main comm.
It just makes me feel useless at times.

Don't worry about my complaining.
Its just the concept of main comm, and its perfect rationale.

Hoo hah

I still love the main comm.

National Museum Open House 2008
Heard its pretty good.
My team and I organised it, (and will do so till after the event)
I hope you'll be there.
Lucky draw!
Assistant In charge of the indoor side of things.
Should be fruitful.
:)

❤ Vivian says:
MR HOMER!

howei' says:
hello hello

howei' says:
and WELCOME to good evening SINGAPORE!

howei' says:
Im your host .

howei' says:
Reuben.. Ho!

❤ Vivian says:
Yes!

❤ Vivian says:
is good morning!

❤ Vivian says:
now is 12.44 am

howei' says:
it is!

howei' says:
12.44 am!

howei' says:
and now today's topic!

howei' says:
nothing!

❤ Vivian says:
yes nothing is the topic!

howei' says:
we will investigate how long it takes b4 people change thje channel!

howei' says:
cause its so boring!

❤ Vivian says:
YEP

❤ Vivian says:

YEP
❤ Vivian says:
so what you think abt nothing?

❤ Vivian says:
y do ppl answer you NOTHING when you ask a question?

howei' says:
ahh

howei' says:
Nothing!

howei' says:
nothing nothing nothing nothgin!

❤ Vivian says:
hmmm...interesting
❤ Vivian says:

do you think NOTHING is a thing?


howei' says:
no!

howei' says:
cause nothing = no things!

howei' says:
hence nothing = nothing!

❤ Vivian says:
hmmm i see

❤ Vivian says:
now i do get a cleaer picture of what is nothing

howei' says:
yes

howei' says:
nothing

howei' says:
and that concludes our segment of nothing

❤ Vivian says:
okie lets take a look at the number of audiences

❤ Vivian says:
......

❤ Vivian says:
NOTHING!

❤ Vivian says:
AH HA

❤ Vivian says:
the audience is quite cooperative today

howei' says:
LOL

❤ Vivian says:
it fits into our topic of NOTHING

❤ Vivian says:
lets give a round of applause to our supportive audiences

howei' says:
ahh

howei' says:
look.

howei' says:
the sound of nothing

❤ Vivian says:
YES!












Oh my word,
this is one of the funniest conversations I had in ages.
:)

Ho Wei - 14/04/89
PKC, TP, BUS
Reuben's Blog

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