And thats a lot.

Today I had my role play.
It was fun.
I like roleplays. Acting is fun. Making people laugh is fun.

I got NAPFA on wednesday.
It isn't that fun.

Anyway, I want to read the chronicles of narnia.
Reading is much better than watching a movie, concerning Narnia of course.

Im playing FM and watching Simpsons now, watching Manutd now would make up my life's hobbies.

Thereeerio.

I absolutely detest the word politics in a class.
I detest the word so much I discredit people who use it almost immediately.

How awful, How cliched.

How can one understand the very meaning of politics?
When their minds are clogged with the unecessary and useless.

You and me, have not experienced anything of relative worth up till now.

now, I pity Izyan.
Whos stuck.

I offer silver linings, advice is painful to give. And very valuable
Too much diminishes the value.
Is my way right?

Why is it that my best girl friend has a group in her friendster that says "boys are evil"
hmm.

Why do girls require so much emotional support that I have to go out of my way to help them.
Then why do I comply.

Izyano.

Girls are an enigma.
And its not a good thing.

They cling on to stuff that is not worth clinging onto.
They seem so dumb.
Why?
Do some of them think Enigma as a compliment?

YET,
They seem capable of great feats
Of things guys can only dream of.
It isn't wise to anger a girl.

Wait,
let me go read proverbs.

cheers. (bloody overused by now)

heiots is a funny name.

just thinking out loud.

i love simpsons, manutd and manutd.

and you-who-japan-ed

Tag me now and pleaase.

so on with the subject of coherency

Flaws with the brain, albeit inspired by a book.

I was wondering whether our brain was flawed.
With the Almighty Creator making us, we were perfect. Then we weren't (its the Adam and Eve story)
So our brain decides that this piece of soil, grass and air is ours, and that next hairy ape cannot intrude or else I'll beat him. In today's context, I'll bring him to the Court... and beat him there.

Territorial disputes caused WWII, or at least thats what I think. Japan wanted more stuff.
So what is this? It's people vying, claiming for this piece of land the call their own. Why?
Invisible lines are drawn, fences put up, barriers set, so people arguably with an inflated sense of ego and perhaps powerlisim (its a new word) decided to call this land theirs.

"hey you, you're stepping on my soil."

Whose God-given right is this? God?

What part of our brain decided that this cave was ours just because it induced our familiarity portion of our brain? Is this a flaw in the design of the human brain?

But in Christianity terms, it cannot be.
I'm quite sure I know the answer, when we ate the fruit, we became imperfect.

So it comes down to all our fault.

So whats wrong with our brain?
I become fascinated with the daily lives of my friends.
Which side of the bed do they get up, how many times do they hit the snooze button, how many times they blink before getting orientated, whats the first instinctive action the perform?

Yes, it seems weird, It is weird, even to myself.
But I enjoy i, it interests me.

This I may see as a flaw of my brain, why do I get infatuated with facts of this nature? (and why do I overcomplicate my sentences)

So...
another topic.

I'm 19.
That's nice but 19 isn't as nice a number as 18 or 21.
But it doesn't matter.

So I have many 19-ish friends.
Most of them are nice, inbred to get along with other people, to laugh at inane jokes and to smile at stupid behaviour.
Some are not-so-nice, they make faces, gossip and roll their eyes.
Some are a mixture.

So we're all humans in that aspect, to err is to human. which is a popular quote.

Well, doctors cure the sick, so I'm not interested (at this point) in the nice people, I am interested with people with the weird mannerisms and gesticulations and stuff.

Perhaps weird is too strong a word, its just people who do things they know irritates people, but they simply don't care.

Are they STUPID?

well, not really, that'll be jumping to nasty conclusions.

As I said before, studying POM and what nots led me to thinking, maybe I should take a step back, practice all the fancymancys the book preaches.

And I have, and I did, and I do usually.
Under pressure it gets difficult, but most of the time I manage.

And so... I will quote an example.
I shall call him "oblivious".

Well you all know his personality now.

And thats it. I don't want to state the obvious.

Then theres "cliched"

Why?
Do I dare express my strongest opinions on something as public as this.(my previous posts are just half of what I feel)

Or but who am I to judge people on a whole, I am not even half perfect.
Why do I feel in a tangle, what gives me the right to?

Why do I occasionally feel like ripping the soul out and shaking some sense into the body,
and then I make an effort to be nice.

What stupid questions, wait... why am I dismissing myself? Is this another brain design? Where my own brain acts on its own and refuses to let me continue thinking?
Is thinking along the lines of "my brain is flawed" a lazy act of ultimately dismissing everything else?


Or wait... I'm just 19.

I should be watching that drama serial(SIMPSONS) or playing my computer games, or hanging out with my friends or entering the drinking culture, or drumming.

What does the Bible say about anger again?

Because when my brother/friend/parent pisses me off
I dont show anger, I daren't (its true), I might be a bit sarcastic, thats it, I never insult, curse or swear, I never promise, vow or oath.
I don't even think bad thoughts... most of the time. I daren't

After all, I will be judged by God.
That is punishment enough.

But it sure as hell ain't healthy. or heaven.

I'm sure there are issues with me.
It might be big, or small. But definately issues.

Right, so when I solve them, do i become the perfect person?
Not really... so why bother?

Then again, the pros outweigh the intangible con.

I like people to be happy.

to continue the trend of normal posts.

as in, the previous one.

So I've been thinking, about that is my brain fundamentally flawed, whether whatever I can comprehend is due to a genetic malfunction somewhere that I cannot comprehend certain things and that I can comprehend some better than others.

Why are our brains tuned towards doing the wrong thing?

Also, I've been thinking of my depth of my knowledge.
Mostly... In comparison to other people (that I must admit)
I'd always give myself very good grades.

I am getting more interested in my offline self and online self.
It's like two different people sometimes.
Yet... It might be the fact this blog's for friends and not for family which is why PROBABLY craft my posts towards to mindset of friends.

It's worrying, its worrying because I always have not a little more, but too much to say when I'm alone. Too much to say to everybody, and the "much" in this case is "bad" stuff.
So... It is worrying.
Studying Organisational Behaviour and Principles of Management has taught me very tangible givens for reactions, actions of emotions. Oh, and Sociology too.

So thinking along the lines of those perfect human behavioural subjects, or attempted anyway has made me come up with some reasons why my selfs or so different.

I daren't scratch the surface really.
Maybe I should but it'll mean sacrifices.

Another thing, I get really miffed when people dismiss ME (yes me) when they find out my age, or the people I hang out with.
I rather stand out.



So i was wondering about friends as well.
I have a number.
I really enjoy myself with a few.
Which regular readers will know. Than there's those I treat with a pinch of salt. I do think that's a flaw of the brain. I honestly always try to keep contact.

Until, well, it gets to a point I have to make a tangible effort.
Well, the point of me saying this that I do nowadays make efforts to contact or re-connect with old friends. And I do wish the readers do the same.

I wonder what I missed out, I wish I was older in the way.
I would have seen more stuff.
But then again, how is 21 going to be any different?


Hover, self-diving anybody?

I think I would survive.

So I've been reading my teacher's blog. It struck me, that the way I write is unstructured, hullabaloo, messy, disarticulate and jumbled.

I jump around my thoughts so quickly, and I get lazy to pen them all down that what appears is a mishmash, gewgaws of words, jacked up to form this and that.
I loved reading that blog.

It was structured, readable and basically a fresh, open window.

Well, I'm still reading it, and I was thinking that writing might be a bigger window than i thought to thoughts and personality.
Is my personality such a deviation when online me comes on? Offline me is so different I feel like an alter ego. Are my jumbled writings simply a way to cover something up?
To mix words as my perception that confuz is the way to go?

I'm usually quite coherent with my thoughts, I can contemplete quite well, I'm especially interested in the little rigrags people do everyday.
Some friends can testify that I can get overly questionative when it comes to stuff like " do you wear PJs at home?"
How people place their toothbrushes also intrigue me.
Is that really a positive trait? Is learning all that going to be any use?

Reading about an older person's blog has made me how much I think in hindsight these days.
We always say "if only", and at this point, I make sure I have as little "if onlys" in the future and that I think is wise.

Then again, why would I want to change? Is that need for conformance to the roly-polys of my secular world so dire?

Or can I simply mess myself again and dumb my mind?

Ho Wei - 14/04/89
PKC, TP, BUS
Reuben's Blog

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