Concerns and thoughts for the upcoming committee for my beloved Dance Troupe @ AGM 2014
U Town Dance Atelier 1, 8pm, AGM 2014 on Jerry's bdae.
(Really hope some of you who know me can read this one day...)
Attended my beloved dance troupe AGM today...and maybe I was too delighted in seeing some of my closer juniors and peers that I neglected to focus on the AGM itself. After quite a chaotic decision making process, and thinking through what me, my peers and juniors have discussed regarding the suitable candidates for the new comm, I regretted not posing the crucial questions below at the candidates (oh they are the new comm members now). These are what I would have told the candidates and voters, which are very real concerns for seniors like me, who are worried about the future and survival of the dance troupe.
(To the candidates) I am glad that all of you have expressed your passion and willingness to run for the committee, and many of you hold many grand ideas on how to improve the troupe as a whole. But I would like to remind you that regardless of how many ingenious ideas you have for the troupe, these are all but empty promises. What we want to know is whether you have the ability and the drive to push through and fulfill these ideas, as well as your willingness to sacrifice your personal time to commit to the troupe.
Firstly, many of you mention that you have other commitments, and that you would strike a balance in both your dance commitments and the other commitments. Sorry to burst your bubble, but from past experiences, it doesn't work that way. There is no rest day being part of a dance committee. It's not like you just come for the days where there are tech classes or whenever you are free, or do your part for your role in the committee and that's it. There are many more administrative stuff that you have to plan and settle, especially when planning for a performance and during the period leading up to the show itself. You are gonna spend much more time than you think you would, just meeting up and planning about stuff, perhaps even 5 to 7 days in a week, if you include days of rehearsals. For those who have many other commitments, be they SEP, hall commitments, other CCA commitments, or family commitments, external dance commitments or whatever nonsense programmes, I would honestly like to advise you to reconsider running for this committee. If you have too many other commitments and you value them over your responsibility and duty as a committee member, you can always just contribute to our dance troupe by being a regular member, who is committed and comes for all the tech classes and practices, and volunteer your assistance to the comm whenever they need your help in admin or production related activities.
Secondly, some of you mention pretty good ideas. Introducing new dance genres during tech classes to make them interesting in order to attract more members, inviting external well-established dance instructors to give classes to increase the dance exposure of current members, bridging the drastic gap/disparity in the standard of all the members in the troupe through holding additional classes to weaker members, working with the CFA and our instructors to hold several smaller-scale events to give dancers without background more onstage experiences, as well as getting seniors/alumni back to take tech classes on the days when the technique tutors are not free. Do you think the previous committees have not thought of all these before? What hinders them in realizing all these ideas that are beneficial to the troupe? There are very real concerns and problems in realizing all these grand ideas. Where do you get all the resources, manpower and money to invite external instructors to conduct classes here? Who is going to come up with the classes of other dance genres such as hip hop, and would that go against the direction of our dance troupe? Are those candidates who propose additional classes going to volunteer yourself and sacrifice some of your free time to lead the weaker dances in the additional classes...if not, then who will? How do you convince your seniors/alumni to return to conduct tech classes for the juniors? What if the seniors/alumni are not free to turn up and conduct tech classes for the juniors? Do you all have a plan B, C, or D? Your ideas are all very promising, but if you can't fulfill them, then it's just hot air coming our of your mouth. What if your ideas are in conflict with what Ah Tiong and Fan Fan wants, or what CFA wants? These are the things you need to consider.
Lastly, the fact that we keep emphasizing on whether you could retain and recall the seniors and alumni, is because that our dance troupe is not only made up of current members, but quite a substantial amount of dancers taking part in concerts is made up of seniors and alumni. It is not sufficient to rely on your own dancers alone to put up a good concert. If you all were to organize smaller scale concerts such as EMCC, in which our artistic director and technique tutor are only taking up supervising roles, who (alumni/seniors) do you have in mind to request for their assistance in choreographing dance items for us (or which alumni/seniors do you think have the capability to choreo and are willing to return to the troupe to choreo and work with the current dancers)? What incentives do you have to attract the seniors/alumni (good dancers) in returning to dance/choreograph? How many of you currently running for the comm can claim to know many seniors well enough to enlist our help when you all need it?
Therefore, I would like to take this opportunity to inform the would-be committee members to
1) Do your homework. Get to know not only people in your current batch, but also those more prominent seniors/alumni who have been coming back for the past few concerts to help out. Ask around, talk to any of us (seniors/alumni) if you can, to know more about who you can seek help from, and establish good relationships with your seniors/alumni. Learn from them what has been happening for the past 5 years, what the directions were like, so that you can make informed decisions on where the current troupe should be heading.
2) If you have a specific idea or direction or suggestion on how to improve the troupe in general, and you are very sure that it is for the benefit of the troupe, don't be afraid to speak up, and push through your ideas/principles while doing your best to convince our resident choreographer/ technique tutor/ CFA in implementing your ideals instead of giving in to their pressures. On the other hand, if you feel that, for instance, our technique tutor is being too meddling and doing things that are detrimental to our troupe, don't be afraid to speak your mind and let CFA or our resident choreographer or even our technique tutor know your opinions, and what should be done to resolve the problems.
3) Last but not least, once you are voted into the comm, you are expected to fulfill your duty and responsibility throughout your term as a comm member. Do not shirk or neglect it simply because you do not have the time due to other commitments. Being voted into the comm represents your promise to the members of the troupe that you would do your utmost best and put in your 100% commitment in everything related to the troupe, be it in planning or in dancing. You have to put the troupe before self, and only make and follow through decisions as a comm that is beneficial for the troupe and the members (us)!
(To the voters/members) I would like to remind all of you to consider carefully whether each and every candidate running for the committee is really worthy of a place in it before casting your votes. This is not a popularity vote, in which you vote for the most popular guy, prettiest girl, or the person that is good in talking. I hope all of you would put away your sentimental votes, or vote for the candidates just because you are good friends with them. The decision you made in this AGM will have a significant and direct impact in what would happen to this troupe in the year ahead, and most importantly, it will affect you as an individual, especially your attachment to the troupe and your willingness to contribute and return to the troupe. I hope all of you, after listening to the candidates, can select the new committee by considering their commitment level, capability, passion, ability to work with one another as well as their ability to connect to you and guide you as an individual.
I sincerely hope that my beloved dance troupe for 5 years will not crumble in the hands of the 36th comm... I really hope that the current committee will go against all odds and prove to many naysayers that you all can not only prevent the deterioration of the troupe, but also bring it to an even higher level than before. The road to salvation has only just started...good luck you 36th kids!
(*come to think of it, i realized i pep-talked to the 33rd, 34th president, but not the 35th president...thou 35th vp is a good friend of mine. just quite sad I didn't get to know that many people in the 36th comm, as compared to 33rd-35th, as I didn't get many opportunities to interact with the cohort itself..)
&its not what you think
5:12 am
Response to March 05, 2012 post:
I was wrong again.
This love has taken its toll on me
She said Goodbye too many times before
And her heart is breaking in front of me
I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore.
...
... ...
... ... ...
But...not sure if I should thank her. Because of her antics, I managed to reconnect with the original
her.
She...is no longer the
she I thought
she was.
She turned out to be so successful in life.
She was my main saviour and rescued me from falling into an eternal abyss.
Dun think
she would ever read this post. But I'm truly grateful to
her in so many ways...not least accepting me back as a close friend. Thank you to
SHE (and also thank you to all other close friends of mine who have supported me one way or another throughout my journey of agony).
Sometimes, there is indeed light at the end of the tunnel.
&its not what you think
11:59 pm
The SDT 25th Anniversary Gala Performance was undisputedly good. Grand opening and finale, with many distinguished alumni and guests attending it. I was really impressed with Zin!, followed by world primere Opus 25, Beginnings and the 2 PDD.
Zin! by Nils Christe was extremely captivating. It is an upbeat and lively piece of dancers in football (american) outfits that bubbled with humour. Both quirky and playful, Zin! explores the use of canon and repetition, and the effect was outstanding. The audience was easily attracted to the funny dance, and it surely left a lasting impression in me, giving me inspirations and ideas in possible future choreography.
However, I cried in the opening piece, which wasn't extremely great. I just drifted off and thought about what could have been, and cried.
I cried twice this month.
The first time was after my FYP presentation. It was pathetic.
I had a long chat with my FYP prof DHLee after the presentation and in the midst of the conversation, I cried. The duration of the conversation was almost 3 times as long as my presentation. I cried because finally there was someone who cared, whom I could confide in, and who was willing to listen to my problems and concerns. He even shared with me his boyhood dream of being a national tennis player (and a sportshop owner after he got injured, which practically ended his tennis dream), his fortuitous and unexpected entry into transportation engineering course in his Taiwanese university despite his intention to study Chinese, how he got lost from his family when he was 4 years old and miraculously walked all 5km from town back to his own house in the rural areas, and discussed my future while giving me encouragement in treading the unknown path ahead in life.
The second time was during the 1st show of the SDT Gala Performance. I got my close friend ML (who got attached to SB some time ago) to watch with me, but I knew that it could have been YL.
That was when I cried.
She had made me believe that people who had real passion and would do whatever they could to pursue their interests (dance) exist in this world.
But she had really disappointed me and made me weep.
Time and time again.
First, when she initiated contact with me and having many dates in the first 2 months when I got to know her, only to tell me she treated me as a friend when I reciprocated.
Second, when she led me to believe I still have a chance when I wanted to give up, and then suddenly got together with a guy when I was prepared to commit in a relationship (albeit her relationship with the guy lasting only 3 weeks).
Third, when she again gave me false hopes of us committing to each other in a relationship, spending my birthday and v-day with me, while I helped her in the application into Lasalle dance programme, only to drop a bombshell on me when she brought a guy to watch my school dance concert and then told me she was dating him and admitting she was faking her interest in me all along, pretending she liked and shared my interests.
I was really devastated when I found out about it.
It felt like a dagger piercing through my fragile heart.
And I thought that was it, we were just not really suited for each other, but at least there was this common interest that held us together -- dance. I really admired her for her passion and courage to pursue dance as a career.
And that was when she dropped me another bombshell last week.
That she's gonna put her dance studies on hold, to be a property agent.
Yes, one should be practical, especially living a life in Singapore. Who doesn't wanna have lotsa money, not just for basic survival, but also to satisfy personal recreation and desires, and my conversation/interview with her superior B also revealed how lucrative the profits are if one ventured into property management now.
However, it was really disappointing to find out another close friend succumbing to the glamour and promised riches of being a property agent, just to maintain her lifestyle. I couldn't help but classify her as a materialistic person...
...or maybe I
thought I knew her well, just
not that well enough.
She was still young (as her boss and I agreed that at her current age, it was a tough ask for her to be an agent since it won't be easy convincing a prospective buyer/seller that she has the knowledge or credentials to help them manage their properties, even though she could become really well versed in the art of buying/selling) and could afford to pursue her interests and to a certain extent, make mistakes in life...
...but she was also no longer the girl I knew.
She has become someone who is practical, willing to sacrifice her lifelong passion of dancing for a job that she needs. Is it really impossible to work at the same time to earn money for your dance, since you really have the passion for it? Is it better to forgo dancing so that you can earn lots and lots of money to satisfy your material needs? Is dancing only a plaything for the rich, and commoners like us who want to pursue dance will succumb to failure? Can't passion and work both exist together? Did she become 'grown-up' to put work before dance, or is she really being clouded by the material world?
I thought that she would have really enjoyed the whole show, if she was still that passionate in dancing, as SDT 25th Anniversary Gala Performance was really a great advert that inspire budding dancers and choreographers that being involved in dance is
indeed a viable choice in this tropical island. If I had asked her along to watch the show with me, it might have even strengthened her will in pursuing dance as a career instead of meddling with property. But I didn't ask her to watch with me when I managed to win the free tickets from facebook through a lucky draw in late April (on hindsight, I shouldn't have decided so quickly on who I should ask along to the concert, since I found out slightly later that she wasn't really together with JJ). I thought (and probably shouldn't have assumed) that she was happily together with her new beau (that seemed to happen pretty often since I've gotten to know her a year back) and it didn't seem appropriate for me to ask her along. I think I was inferior, weak and that was probably why she disliked me, or it could also be the fact that I am really blunt at times. I was really saddened by the fact that she always seemed to choose other guys over me (not saying that I had awesome qualities, I wasn't tall, dark, handsome, smart or rich, but at least I'm very proud of myself being a really loyal friend to many), and I told myself that if I continued to be distracted by her antics for attention, mood swings and apparent use of me only when others aren't available (in other words, I felt like she was taking me for granted and using me as a backup float), it'll only lead me into a vicious cycle (which I had experienced with HC before and took a long time to get over her). I felt like being with her doesn't seem to inspire me to be a better person, and I felt like a lesser person worse off than the
ME when I first knew her. It was definitely no fault of her, solely the fault of mine, because when I really loved someone, I started to indulge myself so much in the other person, trying to help her out, trying to spend as much time with her as I could, that I actually neglected so much of my own studies and self improvement. Seeing now that she had become more confident of herself, her goals and what she wanted in life after working at Hersing, I was really proud of her. At the same time, I also felt sad, as I realised we had grown further and further apart, and our ideals and common interests have diverged too. There were many things we promised to do together, but somehow we failed to do them (ranging from visiting the Titanic exhibition last year at the MBS ArtScience Museum which she went with M, the RWS Aquarium which she went with JJ instead, the S&G beginner classes, KW ballet51 classes and Synergy tech classes which both of us promised to go together but which she eventually failed to turn up for the majority of the sessions, and the O school classes which, in a twist of fate, I was asked to accompany HC to. It felt like she was a stranger once again. Someone I didn't really know. Someone who only asked me out when I have the money. Someone that didn't know how to appreciate my presence or the efforts I had made for her. Someone that preoccupied so much of my life for the past year that I had considered spending the rest of my life with, even though I had experienced so many heartbreaks because of her. Someone that I loved so much I would never blame her for any failings I had in studies or other aspects of life, or regret having spent that much time and money on her. Someone that taught me how to genuinely concern and love someone (though she might not have felt that way and probably deemed me as failing to provide her with love, care and concern at the right time). Someone that brightened up my life after my misunderstanding with my friends KW and JW, and gave me a purpose in my life for the past year. I cried when I thought it could have been her by my side.
For now, what I really need isn't love.
For now, I just need time to be alone.
Think things through.
Think of what I could do in the future (in fact, I might even be an agent in the future, however much I detested the nature of sales, coz this world is just unforgiving. Survival of the fittest).
Time heals all pain.
What I also need now is to be in the company of close friends whom open their hearts to me and whom I can really trust and confide in, and whom will provide me with support and encouragement, as well as being there for me when I'm in dire need of help while appreciating, and not judging, me for being
just who I am.
&its not what you think
1:42 am
Happy CNY to all!!
For those mahjong enthusiasts out the re, here are a list of winning/scoring combinations.
For more information, refer to the complete list of rules on
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singaporean_Mahjong_scoring_rules
Wishing everyone a prosperous snake year! Hock Heng ah! ^_^
Rules of Singapore Style Mahjong: List of Scoring Elements
This is a list of the various scoring elements used in Singapore Style mahjong, organised by value (i.e. by number of doubles).
1 double/一台
Seat Flower 正花/门花
zhènghuā/
ménhuā
Animal 动物
dòngwù
All Chows (with bonus tiles) 臭平和
chòupínghú
Pung of Dragons 箭刻
jiànkè
Pung of Seat Wind 门风刻
ménfēngkè
Pung of Round Wind 圈风刻
quānfēngkè
Concealed Hand (self-drawn) 门清
ménqīng
Robbing the Kong 抢杠
qiǎnggàng
Winning with the Last Drawn Tile 海底捞月
hǎidǐlāoyuè
Winning with a Replacement tile (for kongs) 杠上开花
gàngshàngkāihuā
Winning with a Replacement tile (for bonus tiles) 花上自摸
huāshàngzìmō
Flower Set Bonus 花杠加台
huāgàng jiātái
Animal Set Bonus 动物杠加台
dòngwùgàng jiātái
2 doubles/两台
All Pungs 碰碰和/对对和
pèngpènghú/duìduìhú
Mixed Suit 混一色
hùnyīsè
Mixed Terminals and Honours 混幺九/混老头
hùnyāojiǔ/
hùnlǎotóu
Little Four Winds/Little Four Blessings 小四喜
xiǎosìxǐ
3 doubles/三台
Little Three Dragons/Little Three Scholars 小三元
xiǎosānyuán
4 doubles/四台
All Chows (without any bonus tiles) 平和
pínghú
Pure Suit 清一色
qīngyīsè
Limit (5 doubles)/满贯 (五台)
Heavenly Win 天和
tiānhú
Earthly Win 地和
dìhú
Thirteen Orphans/Thirteen Wonders 十三幺
shísānyāo
Big Four Winds/Big Four Blessings (immediate) 大四喜
dàsìxǐ
Big Three Dragons/Big Three Scholars (immediate)
大三元 dàsānyuán
All Honours 字一色
zìyīsè
All Terminals 全幺九/清老头
quányāojiǔ/
qīnglǎotóu
Four Concealed Pungs (self-drawn) 四暗刻/坎坎和
sì’ànkè/
gàigàihú
All Kongs 杠杠和/十八罗汉
gànggànghú/
shíbāluóhàn
Kong on Kong Win 杠上杠和
gàngshànggànghú
Flower Win/Robbing the Flower (immediate) 七抢一
qīqiǎngyī
Flower Win/Eight Immortals (immediate) 花和/八仙过海
huāhú/
bāxiānguòhǎiA response to March 31, 2011 post:
I was wrong.
There was this person I met...who gave me the same feeling.
It feels like love.
&its not what you think
1:00 am
My friend recently tagged me in a note. It goes like this:
" i do not read the Bible but i came across the following and apparently, they're from various verses in the Bible. thought it was very meaningful & apt. this is to all who are married or in a relationship, and even singles- it's good advice to heed. "
10 ways to love
1. Listen without interrupting.
2. Speak without accusing.
3. Give without sparing.
4. Pray without ceasing.
5. Answer without arguing.
6. Share without pretending.
7. Enjoy without complaint.
8. Trust without wavering.
9. Forgive without punishing.
10. Promise without forgetting.
&its not what you think
4:10 pm
From Ben Jones to MIT class
"50 Things"
Dear Class of 2010,
This will be my last entry written specifically for you; beginning with the launch of our new site in early September, I'll begin focusing on the future class of 2011. I hope that you guys won't be strangers; stay in touch either in person (come visit us!) or online (please drop by the blogs from time to time and say hi).
As you begin your college experience, and I prepare for my 10-year college reunion, I thought I'd leave you with the things that, in retrospect, I think are important as you navigate the next four years. I hope that some of them are helpful.
Here goes...
1.Your friends will change a lot over the next four years. Let them.
2.Call someone you love back home a few times a week, even if just for a few minutes.
3.In college more than ever before, songs will attach themselves to memories. Every month or two, make a mix cd, mp3 folder, whatever - just make sure you keep copies of these songs. Ten years out, they'll be as effective as a journal in taking you back to your favorite moments.
4.Take naps in the middle of the afternoon with reckless abandon.
5.Adjust your schedule around when you are most productive and creative. If you're nocturnal and do your best work late at night, embrace that. It may be the only time in your life when you can.
6.If you write your best papers the night before they are due, don't let people tell you that you "should be more organized" or that you "should plan better." Different things work for different people. Personally, I worked best under pressure - so I always procrastinated... and always kicked ass (which annoyed my friends to no end). ;-) Use the freedom that comes with not having grades first semester to experiment and see what works best for you.
7.At least a few times in your college career, do something fun and irresponsible when you should be studying. The night before my freshman year psych final, my roommate somehow scored front row seats to the Indigo Girls at a venue 2 hours away. I didn't do so well on the final, but I haven't thought about psych since 1993. I've thought about the experience of going to that show (with the guy who is now my son's godfather) at least once a month ever since.
8.Become friends with your favorite professors. Recognize that they can learn from you too - in fact, that's part of the reason they chose to be professors.
9.Carve out an hour every single day to be alone. (Sleeping doesn't count.)
10.Go on dates. Don't feel like every date has to turn into a relationship.
11.Don't date someone your roommate has been in a relationship with.
12.When your friends' parents visit, include them. You'll get free food, etc., and you'll help them to feel like they're cool, hangin' with the hip college kids.
13.In the first month of college, send a hand-written letter to someone who made college possible for you and describe your adventures thus far. It will mean a lot to him/her now, and it will mean a lot to you in ten years when he/she shows it to you.
14.Embrace the differences between you and your classmates. Always be asking yourself, "what can I learn from this person?" More of your education will come from this than from any classroom.
15.All-nighters are entirely overrated.
16.For those of you who have come to college in a long-distance relationship with someone from high school: despite what many will tell you, it can work. The key is to not let your relationship interfere with your college experience. If you don't want to date anyone else, that's totally fine! What's not fine, however, is missing out on a lot of defining experiences because you're on the phone with your boyfriend/girlfriend for three hours every day.
17.Working things out between friends is best done in person, not over email. (IM does not count as "in person.") Often someone's facial expressions will tell you more than his/her words.
18.Take risks.
19.Don't be afraid of (or excited by) the co-ed bathrooms. The thrill is over in about 2 seconds.
20.Wednesday is the middle of the week; therefore on wednesday night the week is more than half over. You should celebrate accordingly. (It makes thursday and friday a lot more fun.)
21.Welcome failure into your lives. It's how we grow. What matters is not that you failed, but that you recovered.
22.Take some classes that have nothing to do with your major(s), purely for the fun of it.
23.It's important to think about the future, but it's more important to be present in the now. You won't get the most out of college if you think of it as a stepping stone.
24.When you're living on a college campus with 400 things going on every second of every day, watching TV is pretty much a waste of your time and a waste of your parents' money. If you're going to watch, watch with friends so at least you can call it a "valuable social experience."
25.Don't be afraid to fall in love. When it happens, don't take it for granted. Celebrate it, but don't let it define your college experience.
26.Much of the time you once had for pleasure reading is going to disappear. Keep a list of the books you would have read had you had the time, so that you can start reading them when you graduate.
27.Things that seem like the end of the world really do become funny with a little time and distance. Knowing this, forget the embarassment and skip to the good part.
28.Every once in awhile, there will come an especially powerful moment when you can actually feel that an experience has changed who you are. Embrace these, even if they are painful.
29.No matter what your political or religious beliefs, be open-minded. You're going to be challenged over the next four years in ways you can't imagine, across all fronts. You can't learn if you're closed off.
30.If you need to get a job, find something that you actually enjoy. Just because it's work doesn't mean it has to suck.
31.Don't always lead. It's good to follow sometimes.
32.Take a lot of pictures. One of my major regrets in life is that I didn't take more pictures in college. My excuse was the cost of film and processing. Digital cameras are cheap and you have plenty of hard drive space, so you have no excuse.
33.Your health and safety are more important than anything.
34.Ask for help. Often.
35.Half of you will be in the bottom half of your class at any given moment. Way more than half of you will be in the bottom half of your class at some point in the next four years. Get used to it.
36.In ten years very few of you will look as good as you do right now, so secretly revel in how hot you are before it's too late.
37.In the long run, where you go to college doesn't matter as much as what you do with the opportunities you're given there. The MIT name on your resume won't mean much if that's the only thing on your resume. As a student here, you will have access to a variety of unique opportunities that no one else will ever have - don't waste them.
38.On the flip side, don't try to do everything. Balance = well-being.
39.Make perspective a priority. If you're too close to something to have good perspective, rely on your friends to help you.
40.Eat badly sometimes. It's the last time in your life when you can do this without feeling guilty about it.
41.Make a complete ass of yourself at least once, preferably more. It builds character.
42.Wash your sheets more than once a year. Trust me on this one.
43.If you are in a relationship and none of your friends want to hang out with you and your significant other, pay attention. They usually know better than you do.
44.Don't be afraid of the weird pizza topping combinations that your new friend from across the country loves. Some of the truly awful ones actually taste pretty good. Expand your horizons.
45.Explore the campus thoroughly. Don't get caught.
46.Life is too short to stick with a course of study that you're no longer excited about. Switch, even if it complicates things.
47.Tattoos are permanent. Be very certain.
48.Don't make fun of prefrosh. That was you like 2 hours ago.
49.Enjoy every second of the next four years. It is impossible to describe how quickly they pass.
50.This is the only time in your lives when your only real responsibility is to learn. Try to remember how lucky you are every day.
Be yourself. Create. Inspire, and be inspired. Grow. Laugh. Learn. Love.
Welcome to some of the best years of your lives.
&its not what you think
1:01 am
