// unDiES-BoaRd

// About mE*..

Call mE : zEllE
A/S : Im a gal who is in love wit herself,red,lipsgloss,my 2 babies n much more****

How long am i away?
so many things which has happened and I dun even know where to start..
Jus read thru all my posts...
and started thinking if this is really me?
or says I've changed sooo much...

on a lighter note,
Im wearing braces now..
haha..
yes at the age of 24..
and now it really sucks to talk!
and eat..
ya..moreover that's my favourite past time.
once i told mom tat i cant tok properly but somehow i cant stop toking
i reckon tat kinda annoyed the hell outta her..LOL..
Well thats my favourite past time too =)

I missing so much out of my life
and to say that i've no regrets,
thats totally a lie..
i wished to start all over again..
knowing now wads good n bad for me..
well theres a syaing goes..
neve too late too learn hey..
im still learning and...still fallin n pickin..

okie donki..
im in hot soup now..
pls dun hate me for making mistakes..


Signing out..

Labels: time to start over again =)

unDieS feTisHist @|3:30:00 pm|

Sunday, May 20, 2007

dear god,
do i deserve guys who cheat,lie n "touch" gals in a way they are not suppose to??
i mean i dun really lie,
im faithful,
im truthful as well,
i aint a control bitch,
i look good (i reckon lots of guys are eyein on me since i look good in any angles ;p)
i mean overall im a furkin good gf.
so tell me now,
are u bein fair?
to send such a guy n make me fall in love wit him?
but right now i think i do deserve so much better!!
my heart breaks too many times n i cant mend it bac no more.
feelings are strange things.
endless lies,loads of excuses,foc-i love u,never wanna lose me(cos i noe im a good catch!)
wad else?
i had enough.
period.
called me dumb for bein DUMB lik duh.
i think i woke up.
no more dreamin tat he changed o abt settling dn.
the only hardest thing to let go,
her.

i've decided to go to las vegas wit my mom n her fren(plus her family!) end of this yr if i hav enough annual leaves.
brissy,soon alright?
im gonna travel n enjoy when i can.
i love myself.
now tats called true love.

Labels: somethin new to learn everyday.

unDieS feTisHist @|10:52:00 pm|

Friday, May 18, 2007

date noted: 18/05/07
a day i wish to kill myself once again.
a day i wish that i've neve met him at all.
a day i wish to jus grab wad i hav and fly bac to brissy,dun even mind earnin easy money to get by.
i jus wish to b away fro everyone.
im so ashamed to face my parents.
must hav hurt them real bad if they have known that their precious daughter has been mentally n physically abused by someone she loves.

well,im leavin everythin behind now.
i aint myself no more.
i jus wanna b alone.

Labels: a day to be remembered.

unDieS feTisHist @|8:37:00 pm|

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

dull day.
cramps,cramps n more cramps.
always happen on the first day.
additional: migraines,
was a terrible terrible day huh.
some more i had to go bac home by cabbie today.
n the taxi uncle is a crazy furk,he horned more than 7 times o more thru out the whole journey,crazy hey!

yester was my darling 24th.
took some prints.
was fun but maeko got scared(cos of her old aunty n our 2 frens!lol)
laughed non stop,i reckon she thout tat we were crazy.haha.
glad tat his sis n frens came along to make the day more special.
im missin him so much now (=

spent nearly 3 days(to b exact,2nhalf days!) with my babies.
really feel lik home when i stayed over.
i felt so weird n lost yester when i noe tat i hav to go bac hm,
n tat maeko has to go bac to her aunt(today) n both of us hav to go bac to work..
the feelin was lik the happiness are so short lived,everythin was jus a dream.
but my baby has never fail to assure me.
really appreciate him for his patience n love.
thanks hun.

cant wait to see them again.
m y f a m i l y.

unDieS feTisHist @|10:49:00 pm|

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

family outing after a long long time.
hot baking in the outdoor oven..
my poor lil gal had to b half naked lol..
was too hot!!! on a pleasant sunday.
nevertheless we had fun.
feel as though i cant live without them now.
the feeling is jus something unexplainable.
something beautiful.
if only i had stay over his place tat noitz.
gonna upload some photos in friendster =D

moved to another site.
i can jus strangle myself due to the emptiness n yeah the irritants' voices.
furkin hell,basically doin nothin!
wad's worse,i didn bring my lappy.
damn shit.ty.
right now im jus busy dnloadin loads of games to keep myself occupy tomolo.
hack abt the day after.
yet to think.
alternative choice is to rent vcds.
mayb.

after his mom toked to me,
i feel relieved.

his bdae's comin.
hope he likes the pressie i got him.
haha he has to tel me he LOVE it. (=
nasty me.
i guess he is used to me bein nasty meanie n quick temper(at times)
i love u baba.

off to lala.
will be waitin for u there.

party party!!!
how i wish.
i miss ex-change in brissy.
really.

Labels: our lil sunday family outin

unDieS feTisHist @|12:30:00 am|

Friday, May 04, 2007

i think i overspent.
but its all worth it.
jus for him (=

unDieS feTisHist @|11:13:00 pm|

half broken tooth..
so upsetting.
lol.
yet amused everyone.

" Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you "

missing u my sugapie.
u brighten my eveyday.
im glad.

unDieS feTisHist @|12:08:00 pm|

Thursday, May 03, 2007

my days at work jus breeze thru without any effort.
greattttttt.
=D
i realised that im the sort of person who is damn furkin lazy when i feelin lazy (even abt my own wellbeing)
BUT
when i decided to get my arse dn to do things.
i did it without thinkin. MUCH.
good?yes?
i've done it once again.yester.
this time im so damn sure tat if i drag til today,
i wont hav the guts tat i had yester, to do it.
yeah so,im so determined abt it tat i've become so desperated that i went to other shop when dor's fren shop was closed.haha.
my thats.
desporado.

as usual.
now im jus wastin my time away at work.
dun envy me.
bcos this is so damn short-lived.-growls.
im movin to another site soon.
wit a irritant plus there no wireless to tap over there.
well,still im gonna try my luck.(im a good luck gal (= )
yeah lik in a couple of days time.
was so down when i heard abt it yester.
for that few secs.lol.

slapped my own hands for spendin so much of my own dough.
i dun even noe how i managed to spend till lik tat.
i better b good gal fro now on.
go bac hm for dinner (dinners always on my mom if i com hm to eat which i seldom do tat at all!)
erm mayb jus boycott orchard lol.
anywhere temptin.
clubbin too..AVOID!!
haha.
mayb jus hang out at turtle's place will be a good idea.(her mom cooks superb dinner!i loveit.)

for my baby's mom:
my baby's mom is so upset abt us not eatin at hm tat day (she cooked but i didn noe )= )
sorry aunty! i love yr cookin too =D
dun get upset ok?
i will eat when i com over..
neve get to say hi to u tat day.
miss u.lol.

i miss my another baby!!!!haven seen her for almost comin 2 weeks in time.-sulkkkkkkkk.
but jus pray hard that im get to see her this sunday.

miss my loves.

Labels: oppies i did it once again.

unDieS feTisHist @|11:00:00 am|

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

happy may day everyone!
labour day is out.

went to sahara wit dor.
last day of april.
both of us were so wasted!!
by the time we finished,jus right on the dot to go dn to meet him.my baby.
without him,i guessed i would have jus ly dn somewhere dn the road from my place.lol.
i took care of dor,he took care of me.
thanks baby.muah.
well spent time today wit him.not.
we spent the day sleepin over at his place!!!
lol.
piggies us.

im feeling so damn hungry now.
mayb cos i jus shitted.
i need to grab some bites now.

out.
wait.
noitz.
ok now im out.

Labels: may day - spiderman3

unDieS feTisHist @|9:53:00 pm|

Monday, April 30, 2007

wish everything will jus goes as planned.
my life.
i feel the lack of excitement,the lack of enjoyment,the lack of communications btw humans.
well the only enjoyment/excitement i've is him.
i mean im content wit this.
but jus feel lik my life seem to b lack of somethin.
think back of my wasted yet happy life in aussie.
lay bac yet satisfied.
is it bcos of the people?(well,jus cant stand majority of the people in singapore!)
o that i was enjoyin to the fullest when i was there bcos im not workin(now im.)
1/4 of the puzzle.
the rest...still figuring.

right now im slacking in the office.
i miss my not-working days.
lol.

i wish to shop n shop whole day.
i wish that all the things in shoppin malls are FREE!!
i wish my hair is long enough for me to do somethin to it.
i wish that i've a magic wand so i can do wadever i like.
i wish there tim tam drink right now!-heaven.
i wish i can go on a long holiday wit him NOW
i wish i wish....haha..

shoppin allows me to de-stress myself.
seeing him makes my heart beats faster n my face to blush lol..well still do. (=

i wanna turn on the musik.loud.then i start to dance lik i used to.
anyone miss my electrocuted-dance?

i guess the bottom line is..
i miss myself.

jus feel lik im startin to lose myself.
dunnoe y.

Labels: me.not me.

unDieS feTisHist @|4:10:00 pm|

today: a sunday.
usually on a sunday,i will spend time wit my 2 babies.
but not today.
both of us hav to work.
missin them so much.

today i have seem to sort quite afew things out.
abt my wellbeing.
from toes to top!lol.
hmmm..
miss my smoky eyes.
miss my funky dressin.
suddenly i feel so old thinking abt all these.o am i?
first thing first,my hair!!!!
i need to giv it some colors n wait for it to grow -growls,sulking at the thout of it.
im gonna start my routine back!
-my weekly face mask
-my every other 2 days body scrub
-my colorful nails every now n then
-waxing monthly(didn go last mth but im goin this week!)
-threading every mth
-well jus look good o say gorgeous lol.

i miss out on the best thing-dummy for learning how to drive.
no regrets.yet.
i jus wanna sit beside the driver,can i?

anna sui nailpolishes,here i com (=

im missing him right now -boo! )=

Labels: today -sunday not.

unDieS feTisHist @|12:25:00 am|

Saturday, April 28, 2007

im BACK!!!!
REd is my official color..
im so red today..i wore a red top out,carried a LV red wallet n had my nails n toes done in red TOO!!!!
lol..well i jus hav this thing for red..
red symbolised sexy,horny,hot n spicy,confidence,pouty lips(if u apply it on!)

sometimes i wish i noe wad i really wan in life..
how i wish i can jus stay put in my 20(yes not 21yrs of age!i can givup bein an adult) n stuck in brissy for live!
not.
cos i've met someone when i came back n fell in love wit him.slowly.
yeah,tasted bitter sour sweet n spicy when im wit him.
but still i hav neve regret being wit him.
he changed to b a better man for me.
a surprise,a happy one indeed when i first noe him.
his lil babygal.who look alil like me hahaha..or say jus lik me?
jus the thout of them make me smile.
all i can say is life is jus unpredictable.
simple.
i will always cherish wad i have n let noone destroy it.
our love.
our family.
not even her.

Labels: RED day

unDieS feTisHist @|11:34:00 pm|

Saturday, June 10, 2006

"im telling you to loosen up my buttons but u keep frowning,
say wad u gonna do to me,but i see nothin"

dn with somethin,
yup somethin tat totally 100 and 1 % out of my mind.
chix poxies!
oh gosh,cant believe it,
the possibility of striking 4D is higher i thout,frowned.
why now and why me.
this means i've a higher chance to strike 4D o toto than anyone else i suppose haha.
since i've already got somethin which is less possible than tat.
before my new job.
well,wad a luck.
and menu for these few weeks will be same old same old.
i rather go on a diet now )=
now then i realised how much foods i have taken for granted when im totally well.

hmmmmm,
to make myself feel better,
i've decided to make it seem lik im having holidays at home.
yes at home,
doin nothin and then sleep whenever i wan
and doin nothin...
yes now i rather im able to do somethin lik goin to work etc.
lol.
i feel lik im being grounded,
"no goin out!"
and feelin out of touch with the outside world.
im serious!
though i sounded lik i've been at hm all my life.
thats how im feelin right now.
im scared tat i wont noe how to take bus o where to tak train etc..
or mayb,where is orchard??lol..
my mom said im crazy.
mayb im.
luckily theres still a transport called taxi.
hahaha.im pampered.
hmmm,thinking right now
wad im gonna do after bloggin?
watch tv?sleep?watch vcds?
feelin envy?of me?
i hope u feel how im feelin now.
not a real holidays pls.
when u been thru wad im goin thru at the age of 21,yup right now.
u will rather be out somewhere working,cursing yr boss etc.
no joke.

ok,im out.
wish me well
asap
im missin out my bellydancin class.
ha.
bye.

unDieS feTisHist @|3:01:00 pm|

Monday, March 27, 2006

i like small tinny words.
i like it when u have to squeeze yr eyes out jus to read.
i like it even more if u stop readin and get really pissed.
haha.

the weather is all good to begin with but out of nowhere came little dots here and there.
started wit tinny dots and ended up in pourin rains.
and a thout came thru,
tat is anything can happen so sudden
and its so out of one's expectation tat it will happen.
not tat i feel this way jus today,
i feel it almost every now and then.
wads gonna happen next?
im concern ok!haha

bought some tops and a pants.
its lik finally i bought somethin!
jus some simple ones tat is.
lol.
went to bishan for qing min??!

i dunnnoe why,
i have been craving for sweet and sour fish and guava so much nowadays.
mom said im crazy.
eggo and potsy said they will buy me boxes of guava for my bdae -_-"
i dun mind tho,lik real.ha.

its been a long long time since i club.
so this weekend i decided to go.
yesh!so determined to go,need to let dn and relax and go wild once in a while u noe.

pay day soonish!
in the process of applyin for uni.
hopefully i get it thru.
pray hard,yeah.

off to eat.
yes guava!! beams-

unDieS feTisHist @|6:27:00 pm|

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

hi im bac!!!!!!!!!!
i miss bloggin so much but im so damn lazy to even get online to blog.

anyhow,
i wan to go on diet.
but then im missing:
gloria jean's tim tam drink
boost juices,boost me pls!
and the kasutdon in winter garden!

and i also miss shoppin:
supre,
dotti,
city beach,
dun mind myer,
chemside
aiya,all la
dor when u see this,u noe wad i mean right,so obvious the hint!
haha
must buy and send it to me ok!!!
muack.

i think for now i will hav to go huntin at topshop and dunnoe where for clothes,
truth is,i could hardly find anythin i lik here,which mean i hav not been buyin nor shoppin ever since im bac to singapore,lik wad the furk right!
sian!
i miss clubbin wit DOR~
i miss u la (=

unDieS feTisHist @|3:30:00 pm|

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

jus royce dark chocolates and a glass of wine.
tats all i need for this valentine day!
well happy valentine's to all.

messed up life with many many things to fulfil.
im furked up,with a furked up life,and a furked up mind plus a furked up attitude,
well im furked (=
jolly well furked.
thank you.

unDieS feTisHist @|12:53:00 am|

Saturday, February 11, 2006

hi
and
bye.

i've been so caught up wit i dunnoe wad that i have been neglecting my precious blog.
right now im at a loss.
the feeling of the unknown is somehow out of my control,
and seriously i dislike the thout and the feel of it.
the thout of the unknown has such an incredible impact on me and im losin the grip.
the feel of it is even worse and i've been losin my beauty sleeps.
yup endless.
closin my eyes for some peace doesnt do much but better than nothin i reckon.
i hope this unknown feeling will jus go away soon.
yes SOON pls.

i love coldplay!
com to sg,com here PLS..!!
and 50 cent,
thailand and singapore is not tat far away fro each other,
and u are freakin rich so why cant u jus do a concert here in sg as well,
u noe u will make me a happy gal if u do tat (;
and i will take u to the candy shop,
un huh yeah lol..
i wanna buy daniel powter album!
i wanna sing karaoke!
i wanna join hip hop class!
i wanna go bac to brissy!
i wanna go shoppin in brissy!
i wanna hav a good noitz sleep!
and i forget wad else i wan. );
oh and i wanna be happy!

valentine day is comin.
hahaha.

i have not giv up on u,
even though i hav been spendin less than lesser time wit u nowadays
doesnt mean i dun love u,
i do miss u
but i need time to clear my mind now
and think of wad i really wan!
im so sorry!
from:
yrs truly darling me
to:
my most amazin blog (=
hah!
im so lame.

i love a million little pieces!
oprah thanks to u and yr recommendation!

my beloved neighbour had left me for melb a couple of days ago,
leavin me with a feelin of envy and sourness and sadness as well.
U stil own me a super at chomp chomp!
pls com bac for holidays..

tats all.

unDieS feTisHist @|1:33:00 am|

Sunday, January 22, 2006

chinese new yr has lost its meanin.
to me tat is.
no more havin the thouts of dressin up and gamble and go house to house wit family to pay a visit.
no more excitement.
no more losin sleep on the eve.
the only thing tat has meanin to me durin this festive is ang bao.
lol.

problems hav resurface,
all that has been struggling within seems to appear slowly,
playin wit my mind,
im feel lik i can no longer smile genuinely,
no longer laugh lik the way i should,
fake smiles.
simply detests the me now.
but wad can i do?

when i get to see wad happened today,
it makes my heart cold,
both are my beloved ones.
wad can i do?
i hav been wondering and tryin to feel wad my grandmommy is goin thru,
all these yrs.
i hav been wondering and tryin to figure why my grandaddy is doin this to her.
im not gonna hate him
but all that i hav for him seem to fade away slowly.
i feel so much for my grandmommy now tat my heart goes all out for her.
i will love her more,i promise.
and hopefully its not as bad as i thout it will.

am bleedin,
stop it.

unDieS feTisHist @|10:37:00 pm|

Sunday, January 01, 2006

hey stranger!

a new yr and a new first day and a new start i suppose.

had a fabeeeuuu time wit my frens last noitz.
drank,dance,and more dance.
till my legs decided to protest.
missin my cousin of cos,heh.
who is bein left alone in tat strange place without me!
well,strange but wonderful in a way.

dun be surpised when i said im goin to gym fro mon to fri.
im not jokin.dead serious!
always somethin to keep u goin,motivate u.

sunday always the same old routine when im bac.
neve get tired of it.
yeah dinner at my grandmom's.
had a close look at her today,
she is agin gracefully
but somehow i got upset jus lookin at her.
mayb cos i dun wan her to age as i get older.
or mayb she is always been so busy to keep us all happy,yeah all the delicious foods on the table every sunday or says every other days as well.
i'm still lovin her the most cos of all that she has done for me.
takin care of this nottie gal(used to be little) must be real tough.
grandmom is always the best.granddaddy too (=
jus dun wanna lose either of them.
love them. ha

slept at 6 in the mornin,
so im so so tired now.

good thing is worth waitin.

unDieS feTisHist @|10:11:00 pm|

Monday, December 12, 2005

so many things went thru my mind last noitz.
nothin great abt any of the things.
simply love to imagine.seriously.
and yes.
there is lots of wad if.
wad if....
wad if....
u noe.
and i felt vexed by it.

work experience.
companies love to hire people with many years of experience.
hand up,may i shoot a question?
how abt those without experience?
i mean before many yrs of experience,
it always start from the i-dun-have-any-experience.
jus like a baby growin up to be a teen and then an adult.
u noe people make mistakes,
and they learn from the mistakes they made.
they learn and grow and many yrs down the rd,
thats wad experince is all abt right?
im always more than determined to show people who judged me.
people who commented on me,
people who gave me that look when i said i wanna do this o tat.
well,i jus love to make the wad they called un-reality to reality.
yes with my determination.

jus like wad i did.
i have finished my study here in brissy.
before i came to brissy,
people asked me in disbelief,
is tat wad u wan?
why do u hav to go all the way there to study?
are u sure u wont giv up halfway?
these are some of the questions i had been thru a zillion times.
i nearly break their faces bac then.seriously.
and yes,my parents did asked me questions lik that but in a way u knew they cared.
to those who judged me,
imma put my cert right in front of yr face.
and smiled at yr pathetic face.
and to my parents,thanks for supportin me all the way.
i've learnt things outside my comfort zone.
this is wad i called experience.
well,life experience to be exact.

im off.

unDieS feTisHist @|9:10:00 am|

Thursday, December 08, 2005

met up wit one of my dearest today.
enjoyed crappin wit her.
popped the question to her,
"u reckon i will lose some shits if i keep on sweatin all day long?"
she started laughin,
as if my question is the highlight of the day.
well,u will only dehydrate pls.
she replied.
my mom said i will lose some shits if i carry on sweatin u noe(i mean of cos i dun believe her la)
ok,wadever.

some senseless post.
me and my favooo topic now.
ignore it ok.
after u read it tat is.

was up at tinny's.
enjoyin paradise.
ok in this case the paradise is not the bathrm,
tsktsk,its the best invention a man can ever invent!
the air conditioner
praise lord (=
had kasutdon then some tim (insert wadever tat makes u happy)drink from gloria jeans then some mrs field cookies(mini one,okok,jus tryin to make myself feel better!)
damn,i felt so sinned.
i mean who dun wan to indulge in fabo foods right.
if i hav 3 wishes,
i will definitely save one for "never get any unwanted fats after eatin and eatin and eatin and eatin,yeah carry on and on and well somemore for the rest of my life)
i think i got too carried away huh.hurhur

ok then the night ended wit some shoppin,sayin goodbye,cryin and now
sleepin!
muacxx to myself.
good noitz sweets (myself!)
love me
miss me
hug me
yes
me
me
me.

hope this post will blog u to death (=

unDieS feTisHist @|10:25:00 pm|

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

after a couple days of sweatin while im havin my lunch or simply jus sit there lik a dumbo sweatin away(very annoyin,nearly kill myself!!),
i think i have LOSE some unwanted!!!!
or was it all in my brainy?
hmmm,i prefer the latter.

am still sweatin.
not much today.
cos its gonna rain dicky!lol.
yeeeeeee!!
or not.
well,weather reports showed tat rainy rainy on wed till fri then scorching sun again lol.
on the weekend tat is.
pui.

u noe i've been feelin so dehydrated since yester.
even though i drank nearly 3 litres of water.
wad?not enough?
wadever!

yes,im so hot.
i mean i noe im hot stuff lol.

hot hot hot

im feelin so annoyin
so i decided to irritate people now wit this nothin shit.
hothothothot.

ok,im gonna turn my arse and sit directly in front of the teevee.
scrubs is on now.
byebye.
hothothot.

unDieS feTisHist @|8:53:00 am|