Three Years

Summer is usually such a fun time for me, but this one has been very different from my usual experience. No pool time and we've only been to the beach once! Total first world problems, I know! It's just been disgustingly hot and humid, the sultry nights offer no relief either. I fear our light bill every month because the ac is just running and running. Ugh. And it's barely the beginning of July, we still have two months before it'll cool off enough to even attempt to venture outside before 7pm.

M and I recently celebrated three years of us. We did a low-key date night and laughed at how quickly three years has gone by. It's crazy that it all started with an online dating site and a date to the zoo that went on long after the zoo closed. We just couldn't stop talking and not much has changed. We still talk each others ears off! I never imagined I could be loved like this, that someone would understand me without me having to explain myself, or that there was someone out there who has so much in common with me. It's a nice change of pace to be with someone like him.

Still no firm wedding plans, I really think we will just turn to each other some random day with that look and run off to elope. Something very low-key and very us. So, lots of music, some good beer, and nobody but us. There really isn't anyone else I want there, other than my family, but if we invite mine, then we'd have to include his too. And his family is a bunch of Trump lovin' crazies, so I'm not keen on that idea. My liberal, Mexican family would eat them alive.

But, then again, I'm in no rush. Marriage just doesn't hold the dream it use to! We really are quite happy with things as they are, we forget we aren't legally married. It's just other people pressuring us and bugging us with wedding talk!

Moving on to wedding plans!

Ok, let's put all the drama with XH behind us, shall we? I'm so over talking about him and our marriage. I was able to work through a lot of the last lingering issues thanks to his recent bout of craziness and that is an amazing feeling! I've been so scared of marrying M because of those issues and now I feel 100% about it all. He's a truly great guy and just gets me so much that it's crazy. I feel like I can be myself with him and that is truly such a wonderful feeling!

We've been discussing wedding plans off and on since we got engaged but have been too busy to really do anything beyond that. I never imagined I'd be planning at wedding at 33 but it's kinda fun to look at dresses, flowers, and fabulous shoes! Plus Pinterest wasn't around the first time I got married so that adds even more fun to the whole thing! We have decided on a destination wedding in New Orleans, our favorite city, probably sometime in the Fall. I'll be joined by 2 bridesmaids and he has his best man. Other than that, we have no clue about anything else. We do know that we are keeping things very small and not inviting anybody beyond our immediate families and best friends. Neither of us wants a circus...or drama!

Of course these plans are subject to change, if I get pregnant. We are still loosely trying, I'm not charting or anything like that, we're just not using protection. My cycles are still all over the place so I'm not surprised that nothing has happened yet. While a baby is very much desired, I'm trying to be positive and not too negative about not being knocked up yet. Sometimes that works very well for me and other times...it's a struggle. I recently gave my sister a baby shower and it really didn't bother me the way baby showers use to, which was both surprising and relieving. I did have an ache in my empty ute but it didn't send me into a downward spiral or drive me to tears after everyone left, which I call progress!

Progress indeed, but I have to admit that my recent birthday did sting a little. Not that 33 is old, but because I always thought I'd be a mom by now. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I'm not, the timing hasn't been right up until now and the guy was all wrong! But I still thought I'd have kids by now. That was the "plan" anyway. Ahh, no quicker way to make God laugh than to tell Him your plans!

I don't know if anything will turn out the way I plan but I'm hopeful!