as usual, blogging in office to kill some time off.

one more hr b4 i can get out of the office!

well, it was supposed to be 'ladies night' wif my colleagues tonight, but *mom's sick so i'll be gg home, otherwise i'll be guilty stricken. lol~

life/work is still pretty much the same. got my moe offer, but i'm still waiting for the bloody offer letter to be snail mailed to my house. arugh!

*sigh*

i know i'm been v impatient. & it's a public sector company after all. but!!!!

*sigh*

i'm so looking forward for my change. i wanna plan my upcoming hols wif my dumby*!!!!

but it maybe yet another sh*thole again. worst of all, it can bond me up to 4yrs. heeh~ but on the bright side, the bond doesn't start the moment i sign the contract! & few actually know that my only ambition since young is to be a teacher! well, it kinda died off after gg into secondary? but it's indeed the only ambition i once had! lol~

ohs wells~

so i'm kinda looking forward to it. no matter how much negativity i'd heard.

but *sigh!

no letter no letter no letter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

feel like emailing the the moe person alr... maybe tonight. & give some excuse to check whether they had sent out the offers alr nots. lol~

i wanna make this a happy place, but unfortunately, i think i'm a very negative person in nature. or maybe... since my uni days.

...

... ...

... ... ...

nth much to blog abt also~ lol. all except for whiningssssssssssssssssssssss.

tata!

actually i'm kinda blogging becos i really really really had NOTHING to do.

*sigh*

freaking boring. totally feel like i'm wasting my life away. i really envy those pple who has found the right job, somehow, accepting & liking the level of work, having wonderful colleagues & all.

*SIGH*

anyways, i think i shld really complain less & get a life. honestly, i think i'm complaining/whining/grumbling too much every single day! but i guess that's becos NOTHING has changed since & i REALLY WANT A CHANGE. more work pls!!!! HAIS!!!!!!!

i wonder why pple/friends ard me are always so occupied. but i think that's my problem. i can't be alone. i don't pretty much enjoy being alone. i hate to feel lonely. period.

oh well.

i shld stop complaining. i shld stop complaining. i shld stop complaining. i shld stop complaining. i shld stop complaining. i shld stop complaining. i shld stop complaining. i shld stop complaining. i shld stop complaining. i shld stop complaining. i shld stop complaining. i shld stop complaining. i shld stop complaining. i shld stop complaining. i shld stop complaining. i shld stop complaining. i shld stop complaining. i shld stop complaining. i shld stop complaining. i shld stop complaining.

RAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!^!#(#&*$^!*($&!#*##)(*#&$&^$^!$&!!!!!#&#&*#^&*$*(&$)(*()$*$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i think i'm mad.

on a side note, i actually wanted to pen down my thoughts on some event/s.

1) how does 1 knows that he/she is the right 1 for you?

hmms. recently pple have been asking me that question. becos... somehow... i'm on the way of planning my marriage wif *mr dumby lam. but i really don't know the answer. my answer. what are in the checklist that determine that answer?

yes, i love him*. been tgt for 4 yrs alr &... still as loving i guess? heeh~ we compromised & accepted each other's flaws etc. & i still see myself wanting to be wif him* in the near future.

& so, did i just answer my own question? sounds like it. haas! =S

hate the housing policies in sg. otherwise, marriage can still wait! perhaps at least for 2,3 yrs more!

2) sth happened & it pondered on me the fragility of r/s (or even myself). i cannot imagine myself to stop talking to someone (whom i had been wif for the past 4,5 years) just the very next day when everything else was resolved/returned etc. *sigh*

perhaps i always picture myself at the losing end & hence that feeling.

oh well.

some things just somehow, won't change.

***

I AM HERE FREEZING MY ASS OFF IN THE BLOODY OFFICE!!!!!!!!!!!

I WANNA GOOOOOOOOOO HHOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i guess hardly any1 comes here now. but it's ok. hees! my life events aren't juicy news at all. lol~

read some past entries. when dumby* & i 1st met. keke~ i was actually NOT a show-off. haas! i'd hardly mentioned anything! =S & now i have this feeling from within that i shld blog more often. although i mostly blog whenever i'm sad/angry or vexed (or perhaps occasionally "extremely happy"), i will want to know how i'd spent my time when i was much younger, worrying for the most stp-est & most ridiculous things ever. lol~

right. & i know i always complain abt my life being mundane. but it really is. life has been quite a constant, to me at least. graduated since may 10, slacked till feb 11 & landed myself in a sh*tty job for almost half a yr alr.

nth much has changed. although i used to dread 'change/s', now i'm really looking forward to them. lol~ i guess pple do change overtime.

i guess goals/aims are really necessary in life so that we have sth to look forward & sth worth working hard for. but sadly, somehow everything boils down to whether you have the money to do so or not. money becomes the root of all evils.

at my current stage of life, perhaps the only attainable goal is to get myself a bloody job that i really enjoy at the baseline of my expected salary. i've so bypass the stage of complaining abt the sh*thole i'm in right now, & i'm dying for a change. it's not really that super unbearable, but i really do not want to waste my time/youth away doing/learning nth at all.

& ah, i really want to travel. not just for a short holiday, but to be away for at least a couple of months to experience life away from home. perhaps for the reason that i can never be selfish & throw my family responsibilities aside, the desire to break free is ever that strong and overwhelming.

*sigh*

but i guess it'll still remain as an un-attainable dream unless... well honestly, i've strike rich or sth. becos travelling is never cheap. i can skip shopping but i'll never torture myself wif horrendous food. lol~

& marriage? a current & yet not-so-current goal. it's not really like a "G-O-A-L" goal, but wif all the social stereotype that girls/women shld get married abt 30, i'm reaching the undesirable age soon. *laughs~

& at this current point of my life, i do not want to get married anytime soon becos i/we* are not financially capable. (see it's always abt the money, money, m-o-n-e-y~~~) & i guess money is really quite important to me, haas! & i hate being poor lol~

all these thoughts may seem oh-so-shallow but that's really pretty much of all that fill me at the moment.

right. so i only have 1 soon-to-be attainable goal in life now. but i think my problem is... i don't even know what i like/want in a job! *sigh*

life sucks.