So many scared thoughts in my head. I feel so alone.
But I have to trust in Him that everything will work out. I'll take a deep breath. My hurt will heal.
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
To pre-k or not pre-k
I'm a little apprehensive about schooling my child. I think she will do just fine academically when she does start school, but I'm just not sure I'm ready for it. I'm totally selfish. I love our little life and how easy going it is right now. D goes to sleep when she's sleepy and wakes up when she's ready to get up. She eats when she or we are hungry and she is free to play with her toys, her computer, the dog... whenever she chooses. When she eats at home she is allowed to eat whatever she likes. She can sit in a chair at her table or snack in the living room. She spends her days during the week with Nana or Daddy, depending on Tony's work schedule.
My fear with D starting school is how she will handle being structured. If I was home with her all the time, I could make up a schedule for her and start preparing her. But my mother is much more loosy-goosy. I may try coming up with something anyhow because we may be getting closer to enrolling D in pre-school.
Since D's birthday is in November, she will have to wait an extra year to start kindergarten in 2017. I don't understand the whole pre-school thing. There are some places that accept only 4 yr olds and some that will take 3 & 4 yr olds. I had originally thought about enrolling D this fall but I was made to think that she wouldn't be accepted into our program in our town. But then I saw something on the school's facebook where a parent questioned when she would know if her 3 yr old would be accepted. Are they taking some 3 yr olds at our pre-school? I started to panic. Is it bad that I waited? Should I have called earlier in the year to get her enrolled this fall? Would they have let her sign up? I tried researching it online but the school website was not at all informative.
I feel like D is learning a lot from just being with us all the time. My mom works with D the same way that she did with me as a kid. D's really good at numbers, shapes and colors and can recognize some letters. She can even spell her name! We still need to do some work on the whole alphabet and letter sounds, but I'm pretty proud of what all she can do right now and how her little mind works. Would it be so terrible if she only got one year of pre-school instead of two? Is she really missing anything?
I decided I would just get the nerve up and call out local pre-school to find out what I needed to do. I started off my conversation with telling them I wanted to put my child on the waiting list for next year. The gal on the phone told me that if she was three we could get her on the list and we might be called at any time since vacancies come up at all times of the year. She suggested that I pick up an application, fill it out and then see what happens. They're only open from 8-3:30 so I asked T to go by there this afternoon while he and D are out and about. Maybe he will ask some questions while he is there. While I was on the phone with the pre-school I didn't ask anything about cost. I'm hoping that there will be some info on the application or that I can ask when I turn it in. My plan is to just make arrangements to come in to work a little late one day and swing by there on my way out of town. And I guess we will take it from there.
My fear with D starting school is how she will handle being structured. If I was home with her all the time, I could make up a schedule for her and start preparing her. But my mother is much more loosy-goosy. I may try coming up with something anyhow because we may be getting closer to enrolling D in pre-school.
Since D's birthday is in November, she will have to wait an extra year to start kindergarten in 2017. I don't understand the whole pre-school thing. There are some places that accept only 4 yr olds and some that will take 3 & 4 yr olds. I had originally thought about enrolling D this fall but I was made to think that she wouldn't be accepted into our program in our town. But then I saw something on the school's facebook where a parent questioned when she would know if her 3 yr old would be accepted. Are they taking some 3 yr olds at our pre-school? I started to panic. Is it bad that I waited? Should I have called earlier in the year to get her enrolled this fall? Would they have let her sign up? I tried researching it online but the school website was not at all informative.
I feel like D is learning a lot from just being with us all the time. My mom works with D the same way that she did with me as a kid. D's really good at numbers, shapes and colors and can recognize some letters. She can even spell her name! We still need to do some work on the whole alphabet and letter sounds, but I'm pretty proud of what all she can do right now and how her little mind works. Would it be so terrible if she only got one year of pre-school instead of two? Is she really missing anything?
I decided I would just get the nerve up and call out local pre-school to find out what I needed to do. I started off my conversation with telling them I wanted to put my child on the waiting list for next year. The gal on the phone told me that if she was three we could get her on the list and we might be called at any time since vacancies come up at all times of the year. She suggested that I pick up an application, fill it out and then see what happens. They're only open from 8-3:30 so I asked T to go by there this afternoon while he and D are out and about. Maybe he will ask some questions while he is there. While I was on the phone with the pre-school I didn't ask anything about cost. I'm hoping that there will be some info on the application or that I can ask when I turn it in. My plan is to just make arrangements to come in to work a little late one day and swing by there on my way out of town. And I guess we will take it from there.
Monday, August 10, 2015
A little too.... Color Guardish?
I have this shirt that I got from Belk back in the spring and it's currently in my regular work clothes rotation. I've worn it probably six or seven times. I really like it but sometimes I wonder if it leans a little to the High-School-Color-Guard-Uniform side of the fashion spectrum.
Here's the top, sort of ...
It's a Kim Rogers, color block 3/4 sleeve top with turquoise on top and black on bottom. Looks just like the pic - except mine has a 5 1/2" hem of black mesh type material at the bottom and is cut in a shark bite style.
I was surprised by how much I liked it when I tried it on in the store. Usually the shark bite cut makes me look extra hippy. But this was done right and it's low enough that it flows along with my hips instead of too far above or below them. When I got it home and tried it on in my own bedroom, I noticed it looked a lot like uniforms I had seen on a color guard before. I'm not gonna lie, it would actually make a great uniform top. I don't know if anyone else in my daily life has noticed this or not. I don't mingle with as many band nerds as I used to. So as long as no one gives me any funny looks then I guess I'll keep wearing it.
It's a Kim Rogers, color block 3/4 sleeve top with turquoise on top and black on bottom. Looks just like the pic - except mine has a 5 1/2" hem of black mesh type material at the bottom and is cut in a shark bite style.
I was surprised by how much I liked it when I tried it on in the store. Usually the shark bite cut makes me look extra hippy. But this was done right and it's low enough that it flows along with my hips instead of too far above or below them. When I got it home and tried it on in my own bedroom, I noticed it looked a lot like uniforms I had seen on a color guard before. I'm not gonna lie, it would actually make a great uniform top. I don't know if anyone else in my daily life has noticed this or not. I don't mingle with as many band nerds as I used to. So as long as no one gives me any funny looks then I guess I'll keep wearing it.
Friday, August 07, 2015
Getting back into it
There are times that I think I would really like to get back into blogging. There are so many things I wish I had more time to do...
Blog
Take pictures
Spend time with friends
Write
Clean my house
Meal Plan
Work Out
Read
But there just aren't enough hours in the day and most week days I just want to come home and be lazy and play with Darby. There are blogs and Instagrams that I follow to try and motivate me but some days they just make me feel like more of a crappy person. I have been kicking booty on the weekends tho. I've been picking a project or an area of the house that I want to clean/organize and that's going well. I totally demolished our shrubs (in a good way) last weekend. They had gotten so tall that we couldn't see out of our bedroom window anymore. It was ridiculous. So I chopped those bad boys down to size on Sunday. I'll have to get some pics and post! As long as I'm being somewhat productive on the weekends it makes me feel a little better about taking it easy during the week. I still wish I could make myself get up early in the morning to work out or go for a walk/run.
Anyway. Just wanting to put that out there. Hopefully I can get back into blogging again.
Before I wrap this up, I just have to share.... Did everyone know that the Gilmore Girls are now on Netflix! I loved that show SO much. I started watching it again this week from the beginning. I own a couple of seasons on DVD but I can watch Netflix on my phone during my lunch hour. It's amazing how well that show was written. It's still so very good today. It makes me happy.
Blog
Take pictures
Spend time with friends
Write
Clean my house
Meal Plan
Work Out
Read
But there just aren't enough hours in the day and most week days I just want to come home and be lazy and play with Darby. There are blogs and Instagrams that I follow to try and motivate me but some days they just make me feel like more of a crappy person. I have been kicking booty on the weekends tho. I've been picking a project or an area of the house that I want to clean/organize and that's going well. I totally demolished our shrubs (in a good way) last weekend. They had gotten so tall that we couldn't see out of our bedroom window anymore. It was ridiculous. So I chopped those bad boys down to size on Sunday. I'll have to get some pics and post! As long as I'm being somewhat productive on the weekends it makes me feel a little better about taking it easy during the week. I still wish I could make myself get up early in the morning to work out or go for a walk/run.
Anyway. Just wanting to put that out there. Hopefully I can get back into blogging again.
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Seriously?!
How is it that my face is breaking out worse now than it ever did when I was a teenager? It's not fair that I'm starting to get wrinkles, gray hair AND acne.
I found something interesting on Pinterest where a gal says that the cause of adult acne can be determined by where the breakouts appear on your face. The cheek area is lungs. According to her research, it's allergies that are causing my face to look like crap. It also says I should avoid getting overheated.
Not really sure what to do with all of that. Guess I'm just gonna take Zyrtek again and start washing my face three times a day to see if that helps. If it doesn't, I may be in the market for a good dermatologist. 
Monday, September 29, 2014
Poison
Someone remind me to cover up head to toe the next time I do yard work at my mom's house. I wore gloves but also a short sleeved t-shirt. Next time, long sleeves will be a must. I figured if I touched any of the poison ivy/oak/sumac that is in Mom's yard the gloves would keep most of it away. And if it did touch me I would just wash up really well after coming back in the house and that would keep me safe. 
Nope.
You would not believe how itchy this little patch is on my arm. I also have a few tiny spots on the outside of my right arm but they blend in with my freckles and do not look as bad as the patch on the inside of my left arm. It's been a week since I worked on the bushes at Mom's house and this stuff is literally waking me up in the middle of the night because it is itching so bad. I had poison ivy reactions on my feet two years ago because I was dumb and wore flip flops while working in the yard. That was pretty miserable. Now I just feel like an idiot. At least this isn't as bad as last time.
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Mean Mommy
This Sunday we went to one of my favorite sandwich shops in Jonesboro, San Francisco Bread. I love sandwich restaurants. I don't know what it is! My boss makes fun of the fact that Jonesboro has so many of them and when she starts to list them off I just can't stop thinking about how much I love each one!
Anyway, I love SFB on Sundays for lunch because it's usually not busy by the time we get there and Darby eats well there. They have fruit as a side to go with her grilled cheese so I don't have to feel so guilty about her eating french fries all the time. Plus, they play classical music on the sound system. There are lots of windows all the way around the seating areas so you can sit and watch what's going on outside. It might just be cars driving up and down the road but that's enough for me. I just want to stay there all day!
When we were there Sunday we walked in and Darby was being a little sassy. (I know you're surprised!) We got to the table where we were going to sit and she started crying because she wanted to sit by Nana. Now, she didn't really want to sit by Nana. She wanted to sit on the side Nana was sitting on so she could get up out of her chair and run around. I was going to make her sit on the booth side of the table with me where I could trap her and keep her contained. (Insert mean mommy laugh here - mwah hahaahah) Anyway, she starts fussing and I march her into the bathroom for an attitude adjustment. After she'd settled down and finished her fit, we went back out and sat at the table and ate lunch.
A few minutes later, some people who were sitting in the same section as us, but not next to us, got up to leave. There were four of them - one gentleman and three ladies. They all looked to be in their sixties or better. The gentleman came over to our table and said, "I just have to say, I was watching you all earlier and I think you're being way to hard on that little girl." He said it with a smile and I'm sure he meant well. I answered back "Oh, I'm sure she would agree with you." And we chuckled and he went on his way.
Like I said, I'm sure he meant well. But it struck me as odd and it's still bothering me two days later. I know he probably just meant that Darby is so cute and sweet that we should never try to break her spirit. But what he didn't know is that my child is not a good eater. It's a struggle to make her sit and finish anything on her plate before she gets distracted. Doesn't matter if it's her favorite foods, she is two and she is easily distracted by other people and her surroundings. Something else he doesn't know, she needed a nap and was being extra restless because her naps and lunch time usually conflict on the weekends. Something else he didn't know, I'm a mean momma.
Yes, I am a mean momma and I don't allow my child to throw fits in public. When she starts fussing and crying I try to talk her down but if that doesn't work I remove her from the situation (usually to the bathroom or a quiet room) and I explain what is expected from her. In this case it was - sit on the same side as Mommy, in the booth, and eat her lunch like a sweet girl. She cried and screamed because she wanted to sit in the chair by Nana. I told her it wasn't an option. This brought on more tears and tantrum. Then I told her, as I usually do, we'd stay in the bathroom until she was done crying and then we'd go back out. Then after she finished getting her frustrations out, she tells me "okay, I done crying now." Then I hug her, clean up her face and we go back out in public where she usually behaves .... for the most part :-)
I'm still pretty torn on how to feel about what the gentleman said. I know he just thought Darby was a sweet little girl and wanted to tell us so. But I'm slightly offended. Wish he would've chosen his words differently. It's surprising how much one comment can affect a complete stranger's confidence.
Anyway, I love SFB on Sundays for lunch because it's usually not busy by the time we get there and Darby eats well there. They have fruit as a side to go with her grilled cheese so I don't have to feel so guilty about her eating french fries all the time. Plus, they play classical music on the sound system. There are lots of windows all the way around the seating areas so you can sit and watch what's going on outside. It might just be cars driving up and down the road but that's enough for me. I just want to stay there all day!
When we were there Sunday we walked in and Darby was being a little sassy. (I know you're surprised!) We got to the table where we were going to sit and she started crying because she wanted to sit by Nana. Now, she didn't really want to sit by Nana. She wanted to sit on the side Nana was sitting on so she could get up out of her chair and run around. I was going to make her sit on the booth side of the table with me where I could trap her and keep her contained. (Insert mean mommy laugh here - mwah hahaahah) Anyway, she starts fussing and I march her into the bathroom for an attitude adjustment. After she'd settled down and finished her fit, we went back out and sat at the table and ate lunch.
A few minutes later, some people who were sitting in the same section as us, but not next to us, got up to leave. There were four of them - one gentleman and three ladies. They all looked to be in their sixties or better. The gentleman came over to our table and said, "I just have to say, I was watching you all earlier and I think you're being way to hard on that little girl." He said it with a smile and I'm sure he meant well. I answered back "Oh, I'm sure she would agree with you." And we chuckled and he went on his way.
Like I said, I'm sure he meant well. But it struck me as odd and it's still bothering me two days later. I know he probably just meant that Darby is so cute and sweet that we should never try to break her spirit. But what he didn't know is that my child is not a good eater. It's a struggle to make her sit and finish anything on her plate before she gets distracted. Doesn't matter if it's her favorite foods, she is two and she is easily distracted by other people and her surroundings. Something else he doesn't know, she needed a nap and was being extra restless because her naps and lunch time usually conflict on the weekends. Something else he didn't know, I'm a mean momma.
Yes, I am a mean momma and I don't allow my child to throw fits in public. When she starts fussing and crying I try to talk her down but if that doesn't work I remove her from the situation (usually to the bathroom or a quiet room) and I explain what is expected from her. In this case it was - sit on the same side as Mommy, in the booth, and eat her lunch like a sweet girl. She cried and screamed because she wanted to sit in the chair by Nana. I told her it wasn't an option. This brought on more tears and tantrum. Then I told her, as I usually do, we'd stay in the bathroom until she was done crying and then we'd go back out. Then after she finished getting her frustrations out, she tells me "okay, I done crying now." Then I hug her, clean up her face and we go back out in public where she usually behaves .... for the most part :-)
I'm still pretty torn on how to feel about what the gentleman said. I know he just thought Darby was a sweet little girl and wanted to tell us so. But I'm slightly offended. Wish he would've chosen his words differently. It's surprising how much one comment can affect a complete stranger's confidence.
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