Friday, March 04, 2011
I'm sorry.
I really don know how, what, why.
I really feel lucky that I've met him. I managed to finally convince myself there is nth wrong.
Yet, now, damn. Why did circumstance change???
I'm such a bitch.
That's me. at 5:21 AM
Filled with guilt is the most terrible feeling ever. Great job god, great job. A terrific one indeed. Turned my life around, go into whirlpool, and become oh-so-drama-it-should-be-on-tv. Thanks.
If I nv had came back, everything prob will go back the same way as it did. Now what the fuck did I do. No matter how much pain I inflicted on myself will nv be compared to hers.
Argh. I fucking hate myself. I'm worst than R. Shit.
I prob need a cig. Damn. She's smoking! And I indirectly caused it! Fuck myself fuck u.
That's me. at 5:17 AM
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
i had kinda forsaken blogger and moved to tumblr. but due to unfortunate circumstance, i cant really blog there. i'm very proud and confident to say that i have moved on. and it was all due to him, fat. :) he told me not to be afraid, face it, and accompany me through the difficult times. i'm grateful. this time round, it's really indeed a "pick me up". so it's okie to blog here already i guess. this blog doesn't bring me any pain anymore. it's a new chapter. hopefully a happy ending.
this vday was memorable. great dinner at the white rabbit. love the atmosphere. luckily we din make any reservation, if not we'll not get to sit outside. the quietness, the breeze, the candlelight, the night sky. next, the after activity: writing msgs on paper planes and throwing it into the sea. very unorthodox yet brings great fun and pleasure. esp the last plane. the wishing plane. i made his wish come true and i sincerely hope mine will come true too. our r/s is difficult now i should say, but i believe time will heal. it'll get better.
and the gift. dolls set. it brought back childhood memories and i always love reminiscing old times. i totally adore my gift. well, if he had found the compass necklace from topshop, it wouldn't be as enjoyable i would say. glad that topshop cleared their old stocks. hah. :)
That's me. at 2:33 AM
Monday, November 29, 2010
i donnoe. i'm confused. i received your postcard yest. heidi koh. that's what u called me. it's jus a few days diff, and there's such a drastic change in attitude. i want to know why. my head is full of questions right now. u brought reina to all the places we've been to. you told her so many stuffs about me. you don even act the normal way like u used to. tho u appeared esp happy when u're in front of ppl, emotionlessly said that it's over lo, ur behavior is jus incomprehensible. when did u started to love dogs? when did u started to love shopping? when did u started to not care about the passenger sitting behind ur bike? when did u started to take interest in girl's haircut? and when the hell u start to communicate with dogs?!?!?! too many ques... jus too many...
That's me. at 6:39 AM
Saturday, November 27, 2010
it ended. just like that. does it really mean nothing. how to get pass this. how.
That's me. at 4:49 AM
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
no matter how bright or round the moon is, it'll never be as beautiful as the ones we admire together.
That's me. at 5:04 AM
Monday, November 22, 2010
i need strength. immense strength.
all i wish for is for u to be happy. nothing matters more.
i'm sorry i'm not there for you and i'm sorry for my selfishness and ignorance.
i just hope that everything will be fine...
i miss you.
That's me. at 7:49 AM
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
'God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let to walk away, who you let to stay, and who you refuse to let go.'
************************
********************
***************
**********
******
***
Decision is always tough. Always a chore.
That's me. at 4:19 AM